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Newspaper Page Text
new york a feller from some littel
town up state came in & landed a
job as doorman in a swell homev on
5th av., where he dident have noth
ing" to do but' ware a uneform & tell
peepel what was told to him to tell
the 1st day a rich looking- guy
comes up and henery opens the door'
and he says henery is missus blank
at-home k A
sure she is, replyd he'nery, the
visitor says, go and ask her if she is
at home today
oh, alrite, henery tells him, only i
alreddy said i saw her a few minits
ago, but he went inside anuther room
& y.elled out loud, mrs. blank is you
and she says, no, henery, not to
day That made henery feel funny, but
he tells the man what she said, and
then he gets to being sorry for the
there must be somthing rong with
her, he says to his self, f ork she dont
even knew she is at home, & maybe
i had better speek to her husbend to
nite so he can get a dockter for her.
HOW WAS HE TO KNOW? s
Indignant-Young Wife (as soon as
Aunt Matilda has retired after din
ner) John, I'm supnised at you, us
ing such language as you did just
John Couldn't help it, my dear.
I burnt my fingers horribly.
Wife Still, you had no right to
to swear before aunt.
John Oh, how was I to know she
wanted to swear first? Stray Stories.
USTBJ, I VJANTTO
SUOUJ NOV) KV
CM ON OVJT MJUEfce
SAX UOW DO YOU 6T
DOWN OFPoF AN
WOV-WHT 6ET DOWN HUMA!4ELVRMItt
1UVOCI. II -K.UP .
wcr rs THE- DIFFER-
ENCE "BETWEEN A
PIE AND A DRESS1
THE POSITIVE MAN
This farmer was a very positives
man. ''Tar fence posts," said he, "and
they will last forever. I have tried
it three times and I know." Chris