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Newspaper Page Text
Oberhelman and Miss Orla Crav
ens who were engaged, married.
Eighteen hours later, the bride
went house hunting. When she re
turned she received word her hus
band had shot himself in a hotel.
We mention umbrellas contritely,
for we are addicted to them.
We are otherwise normal and sane,
but once, loose in a crowd with a
furled umbrella and human safety is
no more to us than one broken leg
to a centipede.
We have overcome most of our
other bad habits, like rubbers and
ear muffs and sauerkraut. And we
don't insist on making our own salad
dressings wherever we go any more.
But umbrellas are things we can't re
sist. , We are fiendishly adroit with
Isn't there something we can put
in our coffee to help us?
AIN'T NATURE WONQERFUL
Sunday morning. Ah, what a glor
ious invention! The kingpin of the
mornings. Who said "Life is just
one d d thing after another"?
They're all wrong. What about Sun
day morning? Whoever said it was
probably thinking of politics. Well,
let's go. Eddie, snoot the spotlight
on Sunday morning. Ah, that's bet- '
ter! Sunday morning, the a. m. you t
don't wake up with a grouch on. The
morning you give the pessimistic
alarm clock the merry heh! heh! say
to yourself "Hooray, I don't have to
go to work today!" You give your
self a couple of dozen stretches a
few bushel of yawns then roll over
for a little snooze with a grin on
your face that pushes the ears back
till they meet. OH, BOY! ain't it -great?
Along about 10 o'clock the
boy in the street is yelling Sunday i
morning poi-per heah!" wakes you
up. You lay there awhile and look
at the ceiling, then hop off the oster
moor, grab the bathrobe and trot for
the tub. Ain't it swell, just loaf and
.takeyour time, while you're splash
ing in the tub and whistling "Yacki
Hicka Beefa Stewla," all out of tune?
Then breakfast, you can eat every
thing twice and still have time, for
more. Say, it's glorious! Some get
ready and go to church while some
sit around and aead the paper or play
the phonograph and awkwardly jig
in their -easy slippers. Anyhow, no
matter what they do everybody is 0.
K. on Sunday morning. Let's get-together
now boys. Three cheers for
Sunday morning! If we ever get to
be a congressman bank on us put
ting through a bill for two Sunday,
mornings a week. What dye say?
A new hand bag for women js con
tractible to serve as a purse. You
can properly carry a dollar or a pa
tato in them.
Lovers are never tired of each
other they always speak of them
selves. La Rochefoucauld.
I WONDER WHO THAT
GUY IS! THAT'S THE
THIRD TIME I'vE SEEN
HIM TO-DAY" ..eovfe