Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
I A Mouthful
Well, we see they gave Czar Nick
the grand razoo. Stuck a bar of soap
under his stilts, as it were. Old Abe
Lincoln said a chapter with, you can
fool 'em part of the time, but you
can't pull the wool over their eyes
all of the time.
Come around with that royal birth
bunk, haw, haw!
Why listen, Roland, there isn't a
king alive who can't choke on a sir
loin steak the same as the' rest of us.
Yep, a cat may look at a king and
giggle, and a sneeze ain't particular
who adopts it, king or panhandler.
All this royalty gang should get
the hook, and not an upholstered
one, either. Make way for a regular
guy with a Mr. hitched up to the
front of his monicker.
They can take their crowns', cor
onets and the rest of that tinware
and shuffle down to Isaac's pawn
palace to get the yellow ticket with
the 10 per cent interest wound
Push 'em all under the sink with
the rest of the pipes and bring forth
the moth balls.
And, by the way, get another stool
ready, we'll have another ex-royal
guy for a life member in the Down
and Outers' club. Kaiser Bill, der
grosse framage. Now you're talkin'.
HAD SEEN NO MOVIES
A class of little girls, studying
drawing, was told by the teacher to
draw the one thing they most want
ed. All got busy except little Myrtle,
who remained deep in thought.
"What's the matter, Myrtle?" ask
ed the teacher. "Don't you know
what you want most?"
"Oh, yes, ma'am," replied the child,
"but I don't know how to draw it."
"Well, what is it you want?" asked
"I want to be married." Ladies'
Home Journal. '
wanna sec a
KM MAGIC IOKbD
N6W SOMEBODY ASK A , ,
AMMTHiyb AT ALU
WHAT'S TH' DtPPE&EVCEi
SETVuetW AN APW.E
AN A OXtS.1
owe 'ion scvtezE -roser the
CtDEtl AND TUG OTHER. YOU.
set CS'0 usy TO
He wondered why his wife sudden
ly turned cold on him and remained
so for several days. For all that he
said in remonstrance was:
"My dear, you'll never be able to
drive that nail with a flatlron. For
heaven's sake, use your head."
Ladles' Home Journal.