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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
The fella who invented spelling is
the worst enemy artists have. We
bet the punishment inflicted on art'
ists who visit the warmish places
(there won't be a few) is to be rigged
up to a spelling bee for eternity.
The inventor must have got a
rake-off from the paper, pencil and
ink companies for putting in letters
that don't do or mean anything as
the letters that are silent, like dog in
sausage. Them words that sound
north and spell south. D'ye get us?
Spelling is too much trouble. (We
speak with authority.) When you
come across a word that you don't
know if it ie or ei or le or el, etc.,
then you have to look in the'diction
ary. We think it's all a big frame-up, a
trust, as it were, this spelling busi
ness. Like the paper, pencil and ink
gag we just said, this dictionary
stunt makes it look all the stronger.
' We're for words like they hear. None
of this eyether or neyether stuff. It's
eether, neether, garash, showfer,
If we ever get into congress lay
your money on us putting over spell
ing the way it listens.
Friend So you allowed that con
ductor on one of your own cars to
jostle and talk banlrto you all he
pleased! Why didn't you tell him
who you were? That would have
President of Traction Company
Yes; and it would have settled me.
He might have told the other pas
WHAT HE DIDN'T KNOW.
A countryman, in town for the
day, grew so bewildered in crossing
a crowded street that he stepped in
front of a slowly moving trolley car
and was knocked down before it
could be stppped. More confused
than hurt, he scrambled to his feet
right in the path of a motorcycle
coming on the other side of the car,
and was again bowled over. As he
once more got up he looked at the
car and then at the motorcycle.
"Huh!" he said. il didn't know
the blamed thing had a coif
Ladies' Home Journal.
How wY Do you OeciY
,xlc.mbk. W6tt7i ON YOUE.
.TO HAXE MY LQM
J ft K 1