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Newspaper Page Text
AIITT NATURE WONDERFUL
Yes! Yes! Go On!
Another good thing about the war.
If we send an army to Europe- and
when they come baclc, it'll put an end
to the highbrows' bone chatter:
"When I was in Paris," "As we mo
tored through London," etc.
Well, folks, it's two out, thei kaiser
up with two strikes and lard onthe
bat All right, uncled give him the
Only thing left for the pacifists to
do now is put up a yodel on the com
ing fly swatting campaign.
Der kaiser is playing a straight
game except for the five aces.
Only people that Bill hasn't tried
to get to cook up a stunt against us
are the EsquimouB. Might get them
to rub poison ivy on the north pole.
College is an institution of learn
ing. An institution of learning what?
Oh, almost anything.
Ball of all kinds, for instance:
High, foot, base, basket, hand and
College is where some youth go to
study Broadway. These young men
return home at the end of four or
five years, if at all, with the degree of
D.TJ. D., or Doctor of Drinks & Debts.
They qualify by spending dad's
money in large quantities, their days
in bed and their evenings in high col
lars and low comedy. College for
them is one grand found of toots and
Occasionally some obsolete person
goes to college to get an education.
"How is your new house coming
"First rate. We've got the roof
and the mortgage on."
'WflKT ISTUE LASTTUW6
fOU TAWE OPF BEFORE .A,
Nw (Sot fceo? JSL&
NOVR. "FEET OFF
"Does your husband subscribe to
the theory that kissing transmits
"No; he thinks that germs art
mostly transmitted by money and h
Is careful net to hand me any."