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Newspaper Page Text
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AINT NATURE WONDERFUL?
f The Collar Button.
The poor collar button, , like the
mother-in-law, has alw.ays been used
as a goat by humorous writers,
comedians and vandeville actors to
cook up a joke on. But the collar
button has its good points and de
serves serious attention. Here goes:
A collar button costs a Jitney or
ten cents. The ten-cent one will
probably wear 25 years longer than
the jitney one or 50 years all told.
If taken care of properly the collar
button will outwear the neck and
still have some tor go before it takes
it second wind.
Money put in on a collar button
is three times more than a safe in
vestment. Where will you find any
thing that will come up to the collar
button for results, considering the
Shoes cost now eight iron men.
Supposing they acted like the col
lar button. After you'd worn 'em
your lifetime and had went, your
great-great-grandson would ask his
nephew to wear 'em a while till they
were "broke in. Get us?
For durability the egg is the only
thing we can think of that can al
most approach Mr. Collar Button. So
if they raise the price of collar but-'
tons on account of the war, etc., set
tight. You've no kick coming.
A LESSON IN GRAMMAR
Grace's uncle met her on the street
one day and asked her whether she
was going out with a picnic party
from her schdol. '
"No," replied the 8-yearold niece.
"I ain't going."
"My dear," said the uncle, "you
must not say 'I ain't going.' You must
i say 'I am not going'." And he pro-
ceeded to give ner a little lesson in
grammar. "You are not going. He
is not going. We are not going. You
are not going. They are not going.
Now can you say all that?"
' ... "S"ure i can," responded Grace
heartily. "There ain't nobody going."
HIS SOLE OCCUPATION.
Cholly Will you marry me if I
stop smoking cigarettes?
Miss Bright No, Mr. Sappy; 1
couldn't think of marrying a man
who did nothing.
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To Do Te-fcAY?
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