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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL?
A snob Is a person whose head re
sembles an inflated football, only the
swelling is caused by fat. After kid
ding himself into believing he'sa half
a dozen prongs higher than the rest
of us until he actually believes it he
horns in with the real Havana, 3 for
a casenote class, and regards us as
has not, the 3 for a jitney scrap-filing
crowd. He labels us the' masses.
You know the type. Breaks his neck
to say "hello" to them that is, and
has, and when it comes to us ordi
nary ones he does a flagpole with his
nose and passes us up like a plugged
nickel. Y'know, doesn't want to
know us and the sooner done away
with, so much embarrassment re
lieved for him. Well, Anthony, we-
should get insomnia. Y know Mr.
Snob, bend an ear earthward, to class
you with regular guys, you're not
quite what the hole is to a doughnut,
so pinch yourself, roll over. You've
got a paper mache foundation.
Voices from the gallery. Hooray!
Hooray! Speech! Speech! Author!
HARD TO TELL
Little Gertrude's father had an
swered her questions patiently, but
he was becoming exasperated. Final
ly she said:
"What do you do at the office all
Daddy's patience gave way,
"Oh, nothing," he said.
Gertrude pondered over this an
'swer for a moment. Then she re
turned valiantly to the charge.
"But how do you know when you
have finished?" she asked.
TAKES A STRONG WIND, TOO
"When the Spanish-American war
broke out, in April, 1898, two Irish
men were at work on a new asphalt
pavement, being laid in a Washing
ton street, when one Btopped han
dling his Dick and glanced up at the
courthouse tower, where a flag was
"What's the use of putting a flag up
there?" the man questioned. "The
wind will whip It to pieces."
"Yes, but the wind's the only thing
that can whip it," was the other's
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