OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 31, 1917, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1917-05-31/ed-1/seq-17/

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AINT NATURE WONDERFUL
I The Argument
An argument, like a fight, scram
bles two, to make It One person
rarely argues with ones self. In all
arguments the other fella is wrong.
If both were right, it ceases to be an
argument The only argument where
the arguists insist each other are
right, takes place in a gin garage be
tween two sun dodgers and both of
them in a use-no-hook state. And it
usually ends up in a jam. "Never
start anything you can's finish." The
fella that moulded that mouthful
must have had argument in mind be
cause there ain't any north and south
to an argument. An argument is
like a mule. The headfeet wa,nt to
ankle southpaw and the tailnoofs
shuffle starboard so it remains neu
tral like a three-day-old transfer.
There are two ways of sidestepping
Big Ben, oue by fishing, the other by
arguing.
REASON FOR COMPLAINT
"You've made a mistake in your
paper," said an indignant man, enter
ing the editorial sanctum of a daily
paper. "I was one of the competitors
at that athletic match yesterday, and
you have called me 'the well known
lightweight champion.' "
"Well, aren't you?' inquired the ed
itor. "No, I'm nothing of the kind, and
it's confoundedly awkward, because
I'm a coal merchant."
SORRY SHE SPOKE
Mrs. Stiles This article says that
wearing hats makes the hair gray.
Stiles The expensive hats you
wear certainly are helping to .make
mine gray-
o o
OR SPONGE IT OFF
Reggie There's been something
trembling on my lips for months and
months, Margie, and
Margie Yes, so I see. Why don't
you shave it off? Puck.
CHESTNUT CHARLIE
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vbOTH ENDS
AND H16H IN
THE MIDDLE?
60LLV 1 60TTA6UES
THIS ONE-u V HAVJEtf
BEEM STUMPED;
: yet"
MELL,lGlSS
IT'S'Too deep
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HIS SPECIALTY
"Did I understand you to say that
this gentleman is an impresario?"
"That's what he calls himself."
"Then he must know a great many
grand opera stars."
"Oh I dare say he has met a few
in vaudeville. He directs a troupe a
trained apes. - ,

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