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Newspaper Page Text
THE "REPUBLIC: SUNDXY, 'eTULT 13, 02.'
ALPiiQNSE AND GASTON.
They Tiivite Their Friend Leon, Just from Paris, Out for a Row.
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X VVViJlM-Ay -mESOAT. S SS2 S3 -Qr-tr? fib help ( SvSTTTu pr,te Tire -YouRSEiF-i fe '
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XJ X. BiTy HELP HIM.MY j$&&ef ' .' 'XHV VtttiftV 5MK f
OUR LJTTLE PHILOSOPHERS.
Grandmamma! "Come, come, you naughty little girl, you must go and hava your
washed. When I was your ace my face was washed three, times a day!"
Ethel: "Perhaps that's what shrunk 1L" Moonshine.
J 1 g"-rosBfc
WORSE AND WORSE.
he: "My cousin Lilian Is so disappointed."
He: "May I ask why?"
She: "Well, she came over here to try and marry a pins-pong champion."
He: "Can't she get hold of one?"
She: "Ho, I guess she'll have to be content with a zaut nobltnian, poor darling."
Willie studying his Virgil): "Pa. Tm
stuck. The Trojan gladiator U atn
somethng to his rival here and I can't nuka
Pa (looking up from his sporting sheet):
"Maybe lie's telling hira to go get retu
After the I'luusr.
"Were you ji bull or a bear?" asked th
"Nflther." replied Uie speculator. "I was
a donkey, pure and simple." Chicago Xew.
A l.lttle Kiiroiirnccinrnl.
"My heart." he s.iid. "is in this work."
"Good." she replied. "Not. If MiiiH:i-lv
would put some brains in It ne miKlit look
for results." Chicago neird-llerald.
Jast I-lke Ilrr.
T": "I suppose that homly Miss
ricxWIeh'otMl wore a beautiful gnwn at the
Uoie Show. :is usual."
Js.: "Vis. It SMltwl her to a T. It was
rich, but execeillnslv plain." -Kxchance.
Tlir Pollcernnn's Pnll.
Mr. lUii'k'T: "Here-s th roast r-"f
ronkel t. deith again. Can't we ever have
Mra. Haukcrp: "I'm nfrald not. The r--llreman
on this heat liks his meat well
on." l'hilnilnlphla I'rns.
"AfJrr nwl." M th Janitor phllomrhtr,
"perlitiiit th' lfc trust or r:arlrtl by iV
crrral-tixi4 tTri: to till more av th
Krcplnc fit V.lth mte. TCat Vrt on Trlnl.
"Tcu t III b.- MTinl within r. vsr." cor- I "llng-rnns ' bitns pltyml evrr"hrr;
tlnunl r.tr fortune teller. "Drar met" ei- I havoym tried it yet, JudccT" arkrtl th
-laimel the ledy. who wes alriiy mar- j lawyer.
rled. "I ehall have to begin divorce pro- "N". I'll wait unt'l It cts intn cnurt be-nH-dhiK
at once." Itoton" Post. fore I trj' It." inkers statesman.
"Of course." nM the church trus'e". "ws
re.a'lre that yoii are a good prachrr. but"
"But." internipted the mlnletrr who was
unable to co.kct his alar "I appear to b?
denmed to l koI fo." nt.li.g."--lc'niiiB.-.
131 1 T .
II ' MM""j"- I I I c a
0) "I wonder where th elevator UI" 2) "Must be here."
--T""yi "tetirrri w .viA xv 'v
O) "Hullo, there, alevator! That boy
muat bk 'altea!"
(0 "HelpI Htlpl" Dtr Dorfbarbler.
The Regenerated One (to Jones, who Is waiting for Ms girl In Ms best clothes)! "AJaV
my friend, why dnn't you come InWa and to on, of us? I was like you once, but 8
I'm whiter than snow." PIck-Me-L'p.
rlmki nil II Hal $
'wwilaSll ffipSBn l I'll B-all
Tocng Dcclor (who has Just re-civcJ his dlplcma. to friend): "The next thlas
to hunt up a good, sickly locality and wait for something to turn up like patitoca i
Candid Friend: "Tex, and it won't b long after 70a bsl& that tSt mnnimiii ri
um tjatieata."-ilconshlBe. TrLT"
Li -1 , 1 .-