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THE REPUBLIC: SUNDAY. MARCH 8, 1903.
NEW STAGE OFFERINGS.
Henry M. BIoss.jm' fouract comeily,
"Checkers." dramatized from his popular
novel of the same name, will be produced
at the Century Theater March 16. Mr.
Blossom, U a St. Louis writer whoso first
fam was built up by a series of macazlno
articles written In this city. Tho four scenes
of the drama are laid In Hot Springs,
Ark.; in Clarksvllle, a little country town in
Arkansas, and at the Washington rark
race track, Chicago. Rehearsals have been
in progress at Iyrlc Halt and Madison
Square Theater. New Tfork. for tho last
Helen Man In, who plays Nan in "The
Country Qlrl." said the other day thnt
hard work and thoroughness should be tho
two handmaidens which wait upon the. art
of the stage.
"Why, do you know," she said, "when I
received tho role of 'Nan' .and knew that
she was a rough but big-hearted Devon
shire girl, I conceived the idea that to
round out the character and make It stand
out with prominence. It should have tho
truo Devonshire dialect.
"I knew no more about' that than the
average pig does of the Latin grammar.
There was only one way to find out, and
that was to go to Devonshire.. The opera
was not to be produced for three months,
and so I had ample time on my hands. A
week after I had received the part I was
on my way to England.
"For a whole month I staid in Devonshire,
made the acquaintance of a couple of tho
country girls and fostered that acquaint
ance. I learned every trick of the olce,
every modulation. The hardest thing that
I had to learn was the high-pitch timbre
In which most of the Devonshire girls
rpcak. After I had practiced this high pitch
for three days I was so hoars? that I could
hardly apeak, but after auhllf it came to
"During the- last week of my stay 1 sur
prised theso two country maidens of Dev
onshire by my dialect, spoke It to them and
with them, wherever wo were in company.
The result was that I felt when I left that
Province that I was as much a. Devonshire
lass as any girl born into it.
"1 had great sport coming back on the
steamer, for I posed as an English maid
from dear Devonshire. Nor was it until
the last day of the homeward Journey that
I disclosed that I was a Missouri girl, with
all the nasal twang of the Suites.
"A certain -vdl-known New Tork man
ager, who shall bo nameless "for a variety
of reasons, having heard that I had gone
all the way to Devonshire merely to ac
quire this dialect for a role that I was
about to create, wrote me a letter In
which he said that a woman who held her
art so close to nature was deserving a
place in his company and that whenever
I wished to give up the race toward prima
donadom. a place in his company awaited
"So you see, hard work gets Its reward
some time or other.!-
like the heroine of one of Richard-Harding
Davis's Van Bibber talcs. Miss Mabolle
G'.lman has a dog, and. llko "Mr. Davis's
heroine also. Miss GUman's motto is "Love
toe. love my dog."
Now, this dog is a canine "of high degree,
with large projecting Jaws and a row of
teeth tuat could Mte holes in sheet Iron,
Miss Oilman's dog thinks that most of the
attentions which a gentleman should bestow
upon bis mistress should be contributed by
himself. He is Intensely Jealous.
Edgar Atchison Ely. one of tne leading
memters of Miss Oilman's support In "Tha
Mocking Bird," each night has a love scene
with her, and Mr. Hooligan, the canine admirer-la
not allowed to witness It, usually.
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In fact, he has neer seen It but once, and
he never shall again, sas Mr. Kly.
Mr. Hooligan always accompanies Miss
GUman to the theater, and Is securely
chained in her dressing-room from the mo
ment of his arrival until Ml:s GUman and
her mother are ready to ko heme. Thatl, he
was aluajs securely chained except once. A
few nights ago ha In some way managed to
slip his chain and wandered Into the wing.
Just as Mr. Ely was embracing Ills mistress.
Mr. Hooligan ivasted no time In prelimi
nary battle arrangements. He simply made
one leap across the stage and a large por
tion of the nether rcclon of Mr. Ely's eld
Colonial knee breeches disappeared sudden
ly from the sJcht of the audience, while
Mr. Ely himself gave utterance to a loud,
undignified jell and exclamations nhlch are
not usually a part of his love scene.
The audience quickly fell Into the spirit
of the moment and applaubed Mr. Hooligan
with intense enthusiasm, although Mr. Ely
in low and fervid terms earnestly requested
some of his fellow-actors to persuade Mr.
Hooligan to give up the center of the stage.
After tho stage carpenter had pulled Its
tall, one actor had put snuff under Its nose,
two pulled at lts hind legs and another pair
forced tenpenny nails between Its Jans. Mr.
Hooligan reluctantly consented to retire
from the glare of the footlights.
Charles Burnham reached down In tho
grab-bag of his memory the other night
and brought up "Just another story of John
"At the Globe, In Boston, during Stet
Fon's management," he said, "we had Clara
Louise Kellogg for a night, and when the
count-up wai over found that there was a
lost of Just $700 on the guarantee that had
been promised to the singer. I went back to
Miss Kellogg's dressing-room and handed
her the money, and when she heard how
bad the houoe was, she said:
" 'I see Mr. Stetson is sitting In his box,
and I wish you weuld kindly tell him that
I would like to sing any song he will sug
gest, Just to make up in a way for whut
he has lost on me.'
"I reported what the singer had said to
Stetson, and he was really pleased at her
thoughtf ulness. 'Just tell her to sing "Home,
Sweet Home," ' he said, and I did o.
"As the last note of the song died away
Stetson leaned back In his chair, shoved
his hands in his trousers pockets, and, with
a self-satisfied smile and a few unmention
able words as trimmings, remarked:
" "Well, I reckon I'm about the only man
alive that ever paid $730 to hear "Home,
On April VS. the birthday of Shakespeare,
tho Lyceum Theater of London, the play
house so long identified with tho work of
Henry Irving and Ellen Terry, will be put
up at auction along with Its site and sev
eral of the adjoining stores.
The County Council demanded extensive
changes made it the place was to be used
as a theater, and the directors, not feeling
these alterations could be made without
enormous expense, decided to sell. The
bctldlngs will be razed and a new structure
for commercial purposes erected.
Mauds Adams, who has been spending the
winter in caring for her health, will soon go
to Europe for a stay that will last at least'
through the summer.
Although going for rest and recreation
prlirarily, she will, it is said, keep In close
touch with J. M. Barrle, who Is writing the
new play in which it is expected she will
return to the stage next season.
There Is a tradition in Tpias that if a
mule kicks a darkey on the head the mule
will go lame.
Maclyn Arbuckle. who- for a brief period
practiced law in that State before becom
ing a follower of Thespis. says that on one
occasion he met a little negro girl limp
ing along a road, her feet wrapped in im
mense bandages of gunny sacking.
"What's the matter with your feet?" was
the natural Inquiry.
"My ladder done hit mo on de hald while
I was standin' on a Iron cellar door." was
George Alexander, the English actor, will
not visit this country until the autumn of
1991. He Is now playing "At Heidelberg"
In London, and will remain there until the
end of July. Enrlv in September he will be
gin his tour of the Provinces, and E. S. Wll
lard will take his theater and present the
Louis N. Parker play, "The Cardinal."
These are some of the lines spoken by
"Jlmmle" Powers In the "Jewel of Asia":
"There's on thing I like about a doc the
"There la no rt in palntlnt a picture the art
Is In Belling It."
"I was pnyine alimony, my boy, when your
nm tooth was the nost talked of taint In
"I enjojed prison lite so much Uist I couldn't
leave the place."!
Olga Nethersole is now touring England
In "Sapho." While In Paris recently on
her way from Biarritz. wDere she had been
spending a holiday, she purchased from
Jean Ttlchepln the rights to his play, "Le
Masque." and has placed it in the hands
of Mrs. Cralirio (John Oliver Hobbes) for
translation aad adaptation.
Ellen Terry has Joined the ranks of wom
en managers. She has taken a short lease
of Mrs. Langtry's theater, the Imperial, in
London, and will play there from April till
July. Her first production will be Ibsen's
v Charles Rtchman Is to retire at the end
of the present season from the position of
leading man of the Frohman Empire Stock
Company and will venture forth next fall
as a star.
D. H. Sothern la siow rehearsing his com
pany in a poctlo drama by Percy Mackay
called 'The Canterbury Pilgrims."
Mr. Sothern will play tho part of Chauoer
and the play will be put on for a single per
formance in March for the benefit of the
Amelia Bingham has decided to postpone
the production of Clyde Fitch's "Last of
the Dandies'" until next fall. At the close
of her New York season she will make a,
tour of the California cltlea.
Louis Mann has been engaged by Weber
& Fields for next season, and will have a
part similar In character to that heretofore
taken by Sam Bernard. Mann will make
his first appearance with the company early
"The Rogers Brothers In London" Is ald
to be the title of the piece Rogers Brothers
will use next seas6n.
The Sondheim sisters. Ottyte and Juliette,
who will be heard at the Odeon next Thurs
day evening In a recital of compositions for
two pianos, are St, Louis girls, who have
Just returned from several years of musical
study In Europe and have scored an Instant
success in their own country. The New
Tork critics were astonishingly generous In
praising these plajers, giving them high
rank- as artists, and this verdict seems to
have been approved by the audiences, since
the Sondheim recitals in New Tork City
were well nttended and marked by genuine
ly enthusiastic appreciation. A naturally
keen Interest Is aroused by the approaching
appearance of these players In St. Loult
their native city.
Last Thursday afternoon the fifth of a se
ries of six free organ recitals by Mr. Chas.
Galloway was given at St. Peter's Episco
pal Church. LIndell boulevard and Sprlns
avenue, before a large audience. Mr. Gal
loway was assisted by Mrs. Thrasher Hall
and Mr. Joseph Buse, the former's delight
ful voice being nrft heard In Gounod's "O
Divine Redeemer," and later In a duet with
Mr. Buse. whose own solo number had been
The Brishter Day," by Angelo Macheroni.
The organ numbers were Uustav Merkel'a
second Sonata, Bach's Prelule and Fugue
in G minor, and an adagio and the scherzo
from the Fifth Sonata of Alexander Gult
mant. The numbers were greatly enjoyed
by thoe present. The next final recital of
the series will take place Thursday after
noon, April 2. Mr. Galloway i" to be con
gratulated uron the success of these re
citals. The Lafajctte Park Choral Union an
nounces a special song service, to be given
March 12 at the Lafaette Park Presbyte
rian Church. Mlsiourl avenue and Albion
place. The programme Includes an organ
recital by Charles Galloway and a rendition
of Mendelsohn's "Praise Jehovah," by the
Lafayette Park Choral Union, under the
direction of George C. Vieh.
There's something refreshing In the spec
tacle of a musical organization manifesting
an independence, due to artistic conviction,
which leads to the refusal of a sub-sidy of
fer of tempting proportions. This spectacle
has Just been presented In New York. The
Philharmonic Society of that city has Just
declined a WO.000 annual subsidy, secured
through the efforts of the present conduc
tor. Mr. Walter Damroch. because accept
ance would have Involved changes In the
constitution of the society which would have
threatened to deprive the organization cf
freedom In the choice of a conductor. It
would seem from this that the Philharmonic
Society, once led by Theodore Thomas and
Anton Seldl. believes that It can again at
tain the success achieved under those emi
nent conductors, and so does not propose to
surrender rights that might lessen the
chances in that direction.
Lenten music In the form of recitals In
many churches Is the fad In New York
City Just now. These recitals are being
given at Grace Church, at the Church of
the Ascension, at Incarnation Church, at
St. Thomas's and at the Church of the Holy
Communion, while, bless jour soul, even
the "Old First" Presbyterian Church Is to
have a Lenten series of free organ recitals.
This Is certainly a prettj- Idea and It would
not be at all strange if New York had set
a religious fashion which will be widely
followed throughout the country at large.
Mme. Nordlca. for all her vocal and dra
matic dlgnltj-, seems determined to break
the London concert-hall records for swift
Journe-s from one stage to another In or
der to sing to two audiences on the same
evening. Recently she sang with Wctzler's
orchestra at Carnegie Hall In Now York
Cily, was enthusiastically received, had to
sing an encore number, and then. Jumping
into an electric automobile which 1,1 de
scribed as a combination prlma-donna
dressing-room and night-lunch wagon, was
whirled away to the Metropolitan Opera
house to sing In "Siegfried." There's ener
gj' for j-ou and the indomitable Nordlca is
said to have covered herself with artistic
glory at both places!
Hugo Heerman, the great Belgian violin
ist, has now been heard in New York, Bos
ton and Pittsburg, and has scored a suc
cess of exceptional proportions. The crit
ics have so much to say about his "leonine
aspect" and big, masculine presence that
one suspects them of a tremendous relief
because of respite from little lads of the
Kubellk and Koclan type. Again, also,
Heerman is old and Is not ashamed of his
age. and thlH, too. Is refreshing after so
much "boy-wonder" fiddling as there has
been of late jears.
Mr. James W. Morrissey has been select
ed by Mr. Robert Grau for the business
management of Mme. P,attl's farewell
American tour. It was Mr. Morrlssej- who
arranged and manVged the Pattl musical
festivals at the Madison Square Garden In
New York City some ten jears ago.
"Tho Rogers Brothers In Han an!" comes to
tha Oljmplc to-night. The farce is said to be
John J McNalb's most amuinjr piece. The
muslf Is by Maurice Levy, and there is a string
of lyrics by J. Ch"eer Goodwin ana Ed Car
denier. Several notable surprises are promised,
including specialties by the Rogers Brothers,
Hattie William. Edith St. Clair, Neva Aymir.
Clara Francis. Lee Harrison. George Honey, rat
Rooney and Kmma Francis and "William West.
One of the features will be the tinging of "The
Troubles of the Reuben and the Maid" by the
Rofers Brothers. Nea A) mar and Edith St.
Clair. This musical number la really a sequel to
the Rogers B-others' hits of the last three jears.
"The Innocent Maid." "When Reuben Comes to
Town" and "The Wedding of the Reuben and
Marguerlta Sy)a t.111 appear at the Century
to-night in "The Stroller'." which had Its InlUal
St. Louis presentation at the Olympic last v In
ter. It l a play of Gfrman extraction, adipt
ed for the English-speaking stige by Ludnlg
Eiutlander and Harry R. Smith. There la a well
denned plot and a story that v.eepa up the In
terest. The piece has some pleasing music in
it. and many of the dances in connection are
very clever In their way. notably that of tha
' Flirtation" number. Th! Is tort of song,
chorus and cotillon ail Intermingled. The air
Is sung by Miss Sylva, and the chorus by eight
German officers. She controls them by ribbons
of various colors, and ther execute different
steps and minuets controlled by her. The well
known Mr. Boniface Is to be seen In a prominent
part. Others in the cat are D. L. Don. Neil
McNeill. David Torrence. Dorothr Hunting,
Louise Mlddleton and Edith Mllward.
"York 8tate Folks." the pastoral that was
favorably received at the Grand last season, will
be the attraction this week, beginning with to
day's matinee. The old "settln'-room," Martin's
wagon works, and the Interior of Ben Tuttle'a
"emporium" are the most realistic settings. The
final scene shows Myron Cooper (Ray L. Rojce)
seated near an old-fashioned fireplace after his
niece's wedding. The guests have departed. He
Is dreaming of the pleasant news he has Just
heard. The organ he has been ten 5 ears In build
lea has Just been sold; the walls of the renm
fade away: the interior of tho church appears;
the choir boys are singing "Rest. Rest for the
Weary." and a smile steals over the old mu
sician's face as he less.
James Lackave, Ray L. Rojce. Harry Crosby,
Randolph Currie. Harry Jackson, Arthur Greg,
ory, Frank Soule, Ernest Lamson, George Ma
har. Mrs. SIdman, Kate Jackson, Marie Falia
and Millie Stevens are to again appear In their
Will Cressy and Blanche Dajne will offr the
principal act at the Columbia. Mr. Cressy. in
addition to writing all his own sketches, has
furnished some of the best now being presented
on the vaudeville stage, several cf which have
been seen here this season. "Bill Biffin's Baby"
la his latest, and he and Miss Dayne are pre
senting It this season. Other performers on the
list are Wood and Bates, C. II. Unthan. the
.Terry and Elmer Company In "The Dancing
Missionary" Duryea. and Kearney in the farce
"An Imposttr." Tim Cronln. Imitator of vaude
ville characters; the Three Livingstons, gym
nasts; Murphy and Slater, singing and dancing
artists: DeVaney and Allen, Nesson and Nesson
A thrilling play of New England life Is un
folded In "A Ragged Hero." which will begin a
week's engagement at Havlln's this afternoon.
As the title indicates. It Is a drama that tends
to prove that brave deeds are often performed
unselfishly by the lowly. The drama contains a
number of situations, which are claimed to be
new. The mot thrilling of these 'a a race be
tween a bob-sled, upon whlrh the heroine Is seen
dashing down hill, and a railroad train, which
crosses at the foot of the slope. The principat
character. Willie Wlldflower. is different from
the commonly accepted type of "hobo." A gen
tleman in his youth and driven to the life of
an outcast by a villain's perfidy, he still clings
to the shreds of his former gentility.
The Stain of Guilt." Haviin Garen's
new production! wlll be given-at Havlln's The
ater during the week, beginning March 23. Rachel
Acton and Oscar Dane are to create the two
leading parts. .i
A new melodrama. "The Little Mother," is
the Imperial's new bill. Tha play Is by Lawrence
The plot deala with the Inhabttanta of the ten
ement district of New Tork City. Nan Morton,
a newsgirl, who is the only means of support
of her Invalid mother and two little brothers.
Is the chl?f character.
The mother dies and Nan Is left to support her
orphan brothers. A villain. Tom Brooks, tries
to forco Nan to marry him. as he is aware
that she Is to Inherit a large sum of money,
from an unci, who died In the West.
Oeorgs Wallace, the drunken step-father.
agrees to the marriage, providing he can have
possession of the two walf. so that he can
get the money that Is due thorn. Bob Dillon, ono
of Uncle Sam's Jackie.", ii in love with Nan,
nnd in the end baffles Brooks. The company in
cludes Lelghton Leich. Edwin S. Phillips. Harry
Hack. Phil McCarthy. JIIss Mabel BrownelL
Elizabeth Hunt and Ella Davis.
W. D. Cave, the treasurer at tho Century, will
have his benefit March 23. The attraction was
to have been Grace George In a new play. Mlsi
George's engagement his teen canceled, howevir,
end Walker Whlte-lde substituted Mr. 'whlte
sldo made a favorable Impression hero last sea
son. Sheridan's City Spo-t Ejrlequ-r'e will enter
tain at the Standard this weet. Their featured
piajiets are "A MU:ai.e It Scc'ety" tad "Fun at
Brightci." Both travs:!es abound In mjilcal
specialties. The vaudeville bill is to be mide
up of sketches bv the Everett Trio. Short and
Edwards. Ren;et:a and La Rue. Hazel Burt.
Ee?-n. Ferguson ard BeeTon. Jos'e Ls Coy. Ad
dle Jacques and Criss'e Sheridan.
Hrlnemarn . Welb will present "Alt He'del
berg" at the Oermania Theater to-night.
Georgo Ado's nw conic opera, '!. From
l'aris." Is provlrc a succets in Chicago at the,
btudebaker Theater, where It has been runnini;
for several weeks.
The Misses ottjie and Juliette Soadholm will
Blie a recital of compositions for two pianos in
the Odecn next Thursday evening. Tre ourg
Udlen have been abroad for several years, and
in that time have devoted themselves asslduous
lj to the study of tho higher forms of piano
music and more e'roejuiiy such compositions a
lend th-niwIiM particularly to duo presentation.
After their concert thoy will have a few das
to themselves and then must prepare for a eries
cf recitals In Ho3ton.
The programme for their recital at the Odecn
has be-n arranged as follows:
Concerto (Bb mnj ) Bach
(al Romance Carl them
(c) Andrntino I'ntoraie ii-ill
(d) Hondo (Op 73l Chopin
re) Valse raraphra"e Chopin-Scliutt
(a) Romance, tb Si OIeau J'etals Henselt
(c) Tarantelle Salnt-taens
The Banda Ilnn comes to the Odeon for a
brief season, beginning JInrch 22. The Banda
is led by the veteran. Eugenio Sorrentino. He
has plajed but one previous engagement in this
Well' Band will give the following programme
at the Odeon this afternoon:
March Sjuthern Echoe Nanka Faucett
Overture Fest lessen
Nocturne Mcnaster Bells Wely
Chimes by I red P Beck.
Vocal Pclo Theme and variations Proch
Mae Fetelle Acton-Harker and band
Hungsrian Fantaie Tobanl
Gems Stephen Foster
Vocal Selections, by the Knickerbocker
Quartet John A. Dauer Leslie C.
Htch. Geo. M. Itavoid. Wm F. Stender.
Final" The Cavalry Charge Luders
Two famou" singers. Mme. Ada Croesley. the
Australian contralto, and H. Emllio de Go
gorza. the Italian 1 ar) tone, aro announced to '
appear at the concert of the Choral-Symphonj'
Society. March 19. In addition, there Is to be a
symphonic programme, under the direction of
Princess de la tVarr and her Numldlan lions
and Pauline de Vere. the panther trainer, a'e the
headlinera at the Zoo Another novel act ls that
of the flffht between Bob. the boxing kangaroo,
and Ben, the snake.
Mr. Spragne Snys
Pine service Is a specialty at the new Co
lonial Restaurant. Broadway and Locust st.
EEL IN MAN'S STOMACH.
Six-Inch Beptile Coughed Up by a
Newly Arrived Emigrant.
New York. March ". A fish storyJn which
physicians were in vain and even patent
medicines failed, has just been brought to
light. If proof of Its veracltj- is needed. It
Is sufficient to say that the patient 13 in the
Long Island Hospital recovering from his
Short!' after the Canard steamship Cam
pania left Liverpool one of the steerage
passengers. Niels Anderson, was stricken
with an Illness that baffled the ship's doc
tor. He suffered from violent coughing
spells and complained of severe pains In
the stomach. In fact, he had all the symp
toms described In the patent medicine
-aas. ills aiseae, wnatever it was, re
fused to vfeld to the doctor's treatment .".r.d
he was unable to obtain relief. When the
steerage passengers stood up In line for
examination by the surgeons of the immi
gration service. Anderson was suddenly at
tacked with a fit of coughing more severe
tr.an anj- wnicn nc nao experienced beiore.
Apparentlj- he was choking to death. The
physicians hurried to his side. Suddenly an
eel. six inches long, popped out of his mouth
and wriggled away. Straightening up, he
seemed to have obtained relief. Thoe who
tell the story asort that the eel was prob
ablv swallowed when nnito. nnnr- nH thnf
it had grown to the size which It had at-
tainea wnen it maue its appearance yester
PICKWICK THEATER SUNDAY NIGHT.
Chas. Brockway, the whirlwind platform
test medium, will appear at Pickwick Sun
day night, Mar:h 8. Admission 15c and 2Zc
Readings daily. 3532 Olive street.
HIDAKA SENTENCED TO HANG.
Conviced of Taking Lives of Three
Sacramento, Cal , March ". Kokochl Ht
daka. the Japanese, who some months ago
murdered three Japanese on I street, ap
peared before Judge Hart for sentence.
After the preliminary business was dis
posed of. Judge Hart passed sentence of
death upon the Japanese murderer. He
accepted the sentence without a word or
show of concern.
HIdaka will be executed at Fol'om at
a date to be fixed in the commitment.
DR. PAQUINS SANITARIUM
mens within two hours and put the sufferer at his post of duty in less than six hours. The
excessive, use of whisk', morphine, and all forms of narcotics, is caused by nervous disorders
over which the sufferer has no control. Through a perfect understanding of these disorders
our physicians are able to conquer the most obstinate cases, and after removing the cause
the desire is gone and the patient finds himself once more restored to the full vigor of man
hood. The value of the Immune treatment has received its strongest test through successful
treatment of relapses from other cures, and it is to this success that we owe.our reputation.
Our patients are shielded in every way from publicity our charges are reasonable and con
sultation free. For particulars call on or address
PAQUIN IMMUNE CO., 2747 OLIVE STREET. ST. LOUIS.
Calls made by IJr. Paquin to any residence In the city if required.
She Talks About Chop Sup-v, Her
Xew Hat, Amy De Branscombe's
Friend, and Outlines a Sketch.
She "Wants Written for Vaude
ville WRITTEN FOR THK SUNDAY REPUBLIC.
BY ROY L. JIcCAKDELL.
"Say, I like vou. That's the reason I butt
In here to see iou all the time," said the
chorus girl, as she picked half of her bunch
of violets from her belt to make a bouton
nlere for the dramatic editor.
"Another thing. I don't get along with
that bunch of dolls In our show. I get along
better with th bojs, anyhow. When I
boarded with Amy De Branscombe and her
mother, we never let a girl come in the
house. A girl friend ls no good; they try
to win jour fellow and they roast you be
hind jour back. I never had one but Amy.
She's a real pal.
"Well, I was telling you, the boys used to
come around to lira. De Branscombe's and
we'd play rag-time on the piano, and two
of the fellows who belonged to a college
glee club used to play the mandolin and gui
tar, and then we'd send out for a pall of
chop suey. That's what I like.
"But you could never get me to go Into a
Chinese restaurant after a peek I had once
at one on Seventh avenue. Chaw Main is'
good. too. That's chicken and ginger and
mushrooms and bamboo sprouts and other
stuff, cooked up with vermicelli that's first
steamed and then fried. Gee! I like it.
You'd think the vermicelli was Saratoga
chips cut Into strings.
"But I Just run in to show you my new
hat. What do you think of it? That's the
very latest. Amy De Branscombe brought
it to me from Paris. That trailer down the
"Then he plajs rag and I do a song and
buck and wing dance."
back Is real duchess lace, and I wouldn't
dare tell ou what It cost. Amy's back
from Paris, where she-was with her mother
completing her musical education and tak
ing vocal lessons.
"Poor girl, she's down and out, because
the young man she was engaged to, who
was palng her expenses, ls arrested for
robbing his firm. But Amy sajs she knows
ho Is innocent, and that it is a dreadful con
spiracy, and that somebody else forged the
checks In his handwriting. Nothing will
ever make her believe that a gentleman who
was a spender like him wauld ever touch
a dishonest penny belonging to anybody else
"Poor Amy Is all broke up about It, and
so ls her mother. But her mother says
she would not care If the young man had
only been truthful and not pretended he
was a millionaire, when he was only head
bookkeeper. He had promised Amy an au
tomobile, too. It's a shame" that j oung girls
arc deceived by fiends in human form who
tells jou they are the head of the firm and
you only find out they are four flushes.
"Well, anyway. I got my new girdle out
of It, and Amy's been to Paris.
"I also came In to tell jou I think I'll
go Into vaudeville. I've fought hard against
it. 'cause, and I don't care what ou say,
it's a come down.
"I want you to write me a sketch. Tve
got It all In my had, only I can't write it.
It's a musical team turn for two people.
You can get Just as much money
for a sketch for two people In vaudeville
as you can get for four. The sketch must
be w rltten to giv e me and my partner a
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chance to do our specialties. So It will
have to be something like this:
"I'm a stranded actress, see? and I'ra
stopping at a swell hotel, pretending to be
an heiress. But the hotel people are get
ting wise, and they've cut oft the gas. I'm
up against it for fair, when I picks up a
paper and reads an advertisement that says
a rich man wants a musical wife. Then mr
lines is: "I answered this advertisement
yesterday: It Is strange he has not came?
"This b the cue for the old guy, who
knocks at the door. Now they've cut me
out nt the hotel, see? and the gas Is off.
But they can't lose me a minute, and Ju
as the old guy knecks at the door I'm do
ing light housekeeping with an oil stove,
and I've got a string tied from me bed to
the gas jet, and I'm drying me stockings
"Of course, when the old guy butts In, I
pretend I'm the helros's maid, and that
she Is out in her automobile.
"I'm singing some ehlne song when tb
guy comes in and he sas: 'Heav ingsl What
a voice V and I hurry over and turn up the
folding bed, which is a piano when it's
turned up. and the guy asks me if I can
"Now, you know I'm musical. I was al
ways musical. None of my people was J
don't know- where I get it. Me father was
the city welghmaster In Altoona. Pa., and
when I'd be running up and down the scales
he'd get that mad!
"Well, as I was saj ing. the guy sita down
to tho piano and strikes a note that is all
to the bad: then he osens the piano and
takes out a chunk cf ice and half a dozen Jj0ij;
Dottles ot Deer, auis uu. uindja guvu
for a laugh.
"Then he plays rag and I do a song an!
buck and wing. Then I skip off. and he
holds the Interest with a head sain or a
! glass eating act for. jou see, he Is an ec-
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me clad rags on. oh. scenery regardless!
and he thinks I am the heiress that answers
the advertisement. I'm frozen custard
sweet but cold for a minute, and then set
up a scream because the maid isn't around
to take off me automobile cloak. The guy
does that and then kisses me hand and asks
me to marry him.
"We have a patter here about getting
married and J want bright lines; that is, I
want to get all the fat, and the other guy,
for it's my sketch, and I pay him a salary,
see? he ls only my feeder, after all. But,
of course, I want a good mugger and mu
sician, because a cheap turkey actor would
queer the act.
"So I want the best of the lines and situa
tions all the way through, and tne curtain rl ; f
speech, too. Don't forget that. tw'''
nr ennrse. If T tret a clever oartner. Til i " J'
let his name on the bills In smaller type.
but all the way through I'm to be 1. t- it.
"Then, as I was saying, we sing a duet.
"Then When We're Married How HappT1
We'll Be!" and I turn cartwheels while he
does a back fail off the piano, to close ths
"What do you think?"
Copyright, 1903; by tho Bowen-Merrlll Co.
FRANK A. MUNSEY ARRESTED.
Publisher Was Charged With,
Speeding His Automobile.
New York. March ".Frank A. Munsey,
a publisher, was arrested by Policeman Mc
Adam, of the bicycle squad, for speeding
his automobile along Riverside Drive at a
rate exceeding eight miles an hour.
Mr. Munsey. accompanied by his chauffeur
and two fashionably dressed women, was
speeding along the drive, and at Ninety
sixth street the machine was going at the
rate of eighteen miles an hour, according to
the policeman, who timed the vehicle six
In the West Bide Court Mr. Munsey told
Magistrate Pool his machine could not
make the rate of speed alleged, and offered
to take the Magistrate out for a ride to
prove the assertion. He also offered to bet
J1.000 to tlOO with the Magistrate that the
machine could not make the rate of speed
alleged. The Magistrate, however, declined
to accept the- offer, and discharged Mr.
Munsey with a warning not to violate ths
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