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THE BEPUBLIC: SUNDAY, MARCH 8, 1903.
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BY EDGAR SALTUSi
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WRITTEN FOR THE SUNDAT REPUBLIC.
The 'varsities are changing their chairs. It Is high
time. When we went to school we were taught cerj thins
It was easiest to forget. Our curriculum comprised the
largest possible nurabr of subjects of which the least
possible use could be made. No doubt they were designed
for our good. Vet wo are unable to conjecture what de
ference It would hae made hid they been intcndeJ for
our harm. We are unable to recall a. single one of them.
Now, however, things are looking up. Oxford, for In
stance, Is throwing- out Greek. Here, generally. Instead
of the mummeries of the claries there are modern
tongues and hKtory In lieu of calculus. That is all ver
well. But the chango Is susceptible of Improvement.
Learning Is not fashionable. Soclet) has a gTcat con
tempt for It. That contempt, while hardly of the kind
which familiarity breeds, is none the lcs obvious. If jou
do not believe us go and see. Tou will find it stupid to
be wise all alone. For alono you will be. The more you
know the more diligently you will be avoided And very
naturally. When j our Ked Badge of Culture does not put
jour hostess to sleep It makes her feel Ignorant. Neither
proceeding' is socletyflcd
No, indeed. A knowledge of history, however super
ficial, will not bring you invitations to dinner. It Is the
axis with languages. You may develop Into a polvglot
and die a bounder. The majority of us want to see our
, tames In the papers The ambition is quite noble and
V&lghly American. But an acquaintance with Cicero, and
even with Carnegie, won't help jou to It.
It is for this reason that the change In chairs is sus
ceptible of improvement. The better advancement and
future prospects of the vouth of the land demand that
universities shall throw out history and languages as
already they aro throwing classics and calculus, and in
their stead provide courses on What's What. And what
Is there but love and lucre7
Those two llttlo things are the motor forces of society.
Beside them, barrirg.the fashions and the charm of medi
sance we say medisance because it sounds so much moro
cosmopolitan than tittle-tattle nothing counts. No, noth
ing. Moreover, they are as potent and disintegrating as
radium. Then, too. Instruction regarding them is really
diverting. Students who take them up will not merely
learn something, they will remember It.
RICHES AND ECONOMY.
To be- rich, for Instance, seems complex. It Is very
simple. In an educational magazine not long ago Pro-
fessor Carnegie, Professor Depew and other savants In
dicated the process. According to Professor Carnesie
jou must push. Manners do not make the millionaire.
' Professor Depew advocated economj. A dollar in the
j bank Is worth two on a margin. Professor Mills advised
npt more than eight hours' sleep. The other fellow must
not catch you napping. Professor Clews recommended
investments." We believe that be has a few to sell. Now
add all that up, and wealth, which looked complex, be
comes as easy as ping-pong.
Love. is different. To love and to be loved seems sim
ple. It Is an art In Itself. An art did we saj ? It is a
philosophy-, a theosophy, a panosophy In one. It is a
science whereby the world, the flesh and the devil, the
EOlar system, the universe Including what little we know
of it, and all that we do not are reduced to a single
Sometimes to two beings. Occasionally to three. But
though that' number is odd. there Is no luck In it. It Is
dangerous. In addition to being inconvenient. Tou never
have a spare moment, and are obliged to lie like a thief.
Two are less exasperating. Bven with one carefully se
lected being your hands are apt to be pretty full. When
rlhat being Is legally your very own jou will find it ad
vantageous to confine your attentions to her. Anywaj-,
It is generally admitted that It Is better to have loved
jour wife than never to have loved at all.
These remarks, of course, are purely ethical Love Is
not that by a long shot Love is a vicious little chap. He
Is essentially selfish, and, though little, the biggest tyrant
out. A statue is not more callous. A hyena is less cruel.
Personally, we should prefer a cobra about the house. A
cobra you can elude. But not a bore with civility at
least, and when that little chap is not sticking pins In you
he rivals our best selling novelists in the art of boring
These observations hav e a false air of originality which,
as Is our duty, we hasten to disclaim. They have all
history for support. Out of mythology, and even there
apart from the account which Apuleius gave of Cupid and
Psyche, there Is not a single story of happily begun and
happily ending love. No, not one. As pages turn and
faces emerge, always when they are not weeping they are
LOVE 19 A POEM!
Why? Because love Is not merely a philosophy. It is
y a. poem whose strophes age cannot construe and jouth
cannot scan. Because of all subjects It is the most dis
cussed and the least understood. Because it consists In
the affection of some one else. Because affections are like
fashions, they will go out Because the angel who at
twenty appeals at thirty has been known to appal.
At the opera now and then j-ou may, if you are in luck,
hear Cherublno ask the Iadfes who stand about to tell
him what love Is. The ladles make no answer. Not be
cause they are rude. Still less because they are ignorant.
But because Mozart did not care to have them disturb the
Innocence of the lad with an aria to the effect that love
is the fusion of two egotisms. Truth should be charming
or else withheld.
AKHHAN "BEN" MULL
ACCMTS AT ElIflMlE
Who has been a crossing watchman at EI-
lendale for fifteen jears.
A unique character and widely known cit
izen In Ellendale is Ben Null, crossing
f watchman of the Missouri Pacific Railway.
One-legged, gray-haired and slight, he cuts
! a strangely quaint figure standing or sit
i ting beside the little watchhouse where ho
)L,has done his duty faithfully for fifteen
He Is at his post from 6 o'clcck In the
morning until 3 o'clock In the evening. He
has experienced but four da)s of sickness
In all that time.
All Ellendals knows "Ben.". Not-a wom
an, man or child passes his station with
out speaking to him.
There has never been an accident on his
"Ben" was born in Franklin County near
Pacific, on a farm owned by his father,
Dave Null. When 17 years old his old. fa
ther lost a valuable farm by going on a
friend's security. Ben then went to work
as a section hand for the Missouri Pacific
Railroad. After eighteen years of this life
he injured his right leg and had to have
it amputated. The company gave him his
Truth Is the residuum of the sciences known as exact.
Among these sciences love, once upon a time. Just escaped
admittance. By way of compensation It was codified.
What is more to the point, the code became law. Judg
ments In accordance therewith were rendered In courts
open and plenaiy.
In 1907 these courts are to be revived. They are to bo
revived for the pleasure. It may be, ut certainly for the
Instruction, of visitors to an exposition which Is to be
then held In Milan. Tou may have wondered what wo
were driving at. There is the reason of these remarks.
There, too. Is a tip for St Louis. There also, perhaps, is
the model of the schooling which the j outh of our country
We inject that "perhaps" because we are skeptical by
trade. But we live in hopes; Meanwhile, Milan being re
mote. 1907 far awaj- and St. Louis uncertain, a summary
of the Instruction may contain a few hints.
The elements of this Instruction arerumored to have
originated in Brocellande, a country which, as everybody
knows, lies somewhire within the confines of the Ar
thurian myth. Bj- whom they were evolved Is undeter
mined. But It has been authoritative)' suspected tha
the)" were cradled in the manuals of pure courtesy with
which chivalry was familiar and which society has for-i
got An) way, they once existed, and existing filtered.
Into Provence, where a parliament of peeresses did them
over into a pandect of which the statutes survive. Here
are some of them. By way of commentary we may note
that licit means lawful, and illicit the reverse. There Is
nothing like making things clear. But, oyez:
It is Illicit to kiss and tell.
It Is illicit to love any one whom It would be illicit to
It is illicit to love two at a time.
It Is licit to be beloved by two, by three, by any num
ber. It Is illicit to be open-armed and close-fisted.
It is licit for a woman to love her husband. If she can.
IAS PEEYEIIEB CROSSING
FOR THE LAST FIFTEEN YEARS.
I I fl sntr'srBMrssliBsK?si im 1 " e i "tV ",? ;
VtS BssHSPflBBBefiBisEIHBH a
THE STATION AT ELLENDAL&
Opposite which Is "Ben's" watchhouse.
present position. He Is married and has
four children. His hours of loneliness are
lightened by the visits of either his )-oung
daughter or his son. From his little cot
tage, a few blocks away an Old Manches
ter road, they dally bring him a steaming
His watchhouse Is always warm. He I
also Janitor of the little brown-stons
tion just opposite his shanty. The station j
was erected the same year in which he I
first took charge of the crossing. L. D.
Hopkins made the first fire in the store and
WAS ORDERED THAT THE KNIGHT BE REHABILITATED IN FAVOR AND REINSTATED IN
It Is Illicit for a lover to do aught that might displease
It is licit for a lady to be less circumspect, et cetera
and so forth.
UNDERSTANDING OF THE HEART.
Thf statutes, nlwajs candid, sometimes are profound.
They disclose an understanding of thetheart and Its sub
tleties. It was over matters of this delicate nature that
the Courts of Love claimed and exercised Jurisdiction.
The judges were dames of high degree. At the time. In
cases of tort and even of felony, the lord of a fief pos
sessed the right of justice, high and low. But there are
crimes now which the law cannot reach. It was the
same way then. There were, and are, contentions which
no mere male, however enflefed. may adjust It was to
remedv this defect that the wives of the signeurs erected
tribunals of their own. Their strength was their weak
ness. They were pretty and that appealed. They were
patrician and that appeased. They took themselves se
riously, too, and that must have been very satisfactory.
Moreover, if not alwa)s clement, occasionally they were
Here Is an Instance. A confidant charged by a friend
with messages of love found the joung person so much to
his taste that he addressed her in his own behalf. In
stead of being repuled his advances were encouraged.
Whereupon the injured party brought suit. The prothono
tary of the court relates that the plaintiff, having humbly
prajed that the fraud be submitted to the Countess of
Champagne, the latter, sitting in banco with sixty dames,
heard the complaint, and after due deliberation handed
down tho following decision: "It is ordered that the de
fendants be henceforth debarred from the frequentatlon
of honest people."
Here Is another case. A knight was commanded by his
lady not to say or do anything publicly in her praise. It
so fell about that her name was lightly taken. The knight
challenged the defamer. Thereupon the lady contended
that he had forfeited all claim to her regard. Action hav
handed over the kejs to "Ben" Mr. Hop
kins was at that time a superintendent.
Only a few families lived in this vicinity
when Null first became a crossing watch
man. Charles W. Crutsinger Is the oldest
of these. Henry W. Carreras. the late Hen
ry WIrthmuller and a Mr. Sanders were the
"Ben" has seen the little suburb grow un
til Its boundaries have extended to Maple
wood on one side and Benton on the other.
He expects to live to see many other nota
He Had Earned
a Day Off.
Irving Bacheller can alwa)s tell a story
of the north country, and this Is. one of
"Up in St. Lawrence County." he said.
' there was an old man who lived In a small
vlIHgc a few miles from Potsdam. Mr. Par
ker was an elder In the church, a good hus
bind and father, and a worthy citizen, who
was .much respected in the community.
"One day he hitched un his team and went
off with a load of produce from his farm to
Potsdam. Night fell, but Parker did not re
turn. "His family was much frightened, for such
a thing had never happened before, and
they felt sure that some evil had befallen
"His son went to Potsdam and called at
all his father's accustomed haunts, only to
find that the old man had sold his potatoes
and started for home before dark.
"The family remained In great distress
all night and until the next afternoon, when
". x-orKer urove in at me nig farm gate.
The old man's clothes were tom, his face
bruised, a small portion of his front scalp
was missing, and his horse was broken
winded and all of a lather.
"He vouchsafed no explanation, but be
took himself to bed, where he slept forfour
teon hours, waking with a rich brown taste
in his mouth.
"The matter got noised abroad, and
eventually the minister and a brother elder
culled upon him.
"Brother Parker,' said the minister
solemnly, 'it appears to us that some ex
planation is due the church of events which
hav e recently transpired, and we have called
to see If you have anything to say about
"The old man pondered awhile.. and then
asked: "How long hev I been a member
of the church, boy and man?
" 'Forty-six years, my brother.'
" 'Hev I walked In the ways of tha Lord
pretty perpendicular during that timer
" "Yes. Brother Parker, you have served
long and faithfully.' .
" 'Well.' said the old man, "I thought so, I
too, n' I Just thought I'd take a day off.' "
ing been brought the court decided that the defence of a
lady is never illicit, and It was ordered that the knight be
rehabilitated in favor and reinstated In grace. Which,
the prothonotarj- avers, was done.
But how? There Is the beautiful part of it. To the
Courts of Love no Sheriffs are attached. Judgments were
enforced not by a constabulary, but by tho community.
Disregard of a decision entailed not loss of liberty, but
loss of caste. In the case of a man there was exclusion
from the field. Entrance was denied him at tournaments;
In the case of a woman the drawbridges were up.
Throughout the land there was no one to receive her. As
a result the delinquent was rare. So. too, was contempt
of the jurists.
GUIDING THE AFFECTIONS.
Such were the Courts of Love. Women then did more
or less as thry saw fit, and It was In order that they
might do what was fittest that thesa tribunals were
established. They had another purpose. In guiding the
affections they educated them. Women were admonished
to love and Instructed how to. They were taught, we will
assume, that they who please generally fall to please pro
foundly. They were further taught, we will also assume,
that to please profoundly a woman should never let her
self be wholly known. Even In her kisses there should bo
m)slerj'. Moreover, thej- were taught, or ought to have
been, that when to mysterj- there be added uncertainty,
and the two be sufficiently fused, then the part)- of the
second part is not merely profoundly pleased, but com
fortably perplexed. The poor devil does not know where
he is at.
For of all things mystery and perplexity disturb ths
Imagination most. Of all factors In an enduring affection
the most potent Is Imagination. The woman who leaves
a man nothing to bather about leaves him nothing to
dread. Inconstancy is the result. The brute turns to
But the woman of whom a man Is never sure has him
crazy about her for the rest of his wretched career. He
When Wizard Edison's Cunning
"The world has seen a variety of achieve
ments wrought by man, but no other has
made such strides toward the perfection of
industry and progress, toward the advance
ment of the whole world, as the application
Thus spoke Lord Kelvin, and In Justice
he might have supplemented the same by
stating that the Tankee wizard, Thomas A.
Edison, has ever been the leader of the
advance guard which has with such signal
success explored that mystical electrical
Howev er. the public prints have long been
surfeited with stories of Edison's brilliant
coups; and here, for variety's sake. Is given
the record of a failure.
When Edison first established his lab
oratory and electrical works over in New
Jersey he had in his employ an Irishman
named Barney Gllhooly.
Barney was engineer and fireman In
short, he was general utility man around
when he was dreaming of the millennium of
automoblllsm and blue-gra.s-s pastures,, tha
Infernal creaking of wires! followed by an
avalanche of oats, convinced the ood steed
that the hour of fate had struck.
In fact, he was so frightened he reared
back with violence and crashed through tho
side of tho barn: and when inquiring Bar
ney arrived on the scene Dobbin was com
placently picking up apples under a tree in
Since that memorable morning. Mr. EdI
son's automatic feeder has never been op
erated, and Barney Is still feeding his horse
In the good old-fashioned way.
CORAL AT AQUARIUM.
Delicate Operitlon Which Requires Exercise
of Considerable Care.
"Of all the Inhabitants of the Aquarium,"
remarked Custodian Spencer of that insti
tution as he stood over a small glass com
the entire Edison plant He lived back of
the meadows, some four miles from the fac
tor)', and It was his custom to drive dally
back and forth.
Now, like all the rest of mankind, Barney
liked to sleep In the morning as long as
possible, and he conjured his brain as to
how to feed his horse in the morning with
out a personal visit to the barn.
Finally he enlisted the services of his
Illustrious employer, explaining that it
would be a great convenience if by some
button and wire arrangement the morning
partment gently manipulating a slender
slick across the surface of a group of living
coral, "the specimens in this group" In
dicating a row of glass c) llndrlcal-shaped
vessels containing the coral and sea anem
ones "require the greatest care at feeding
These extremely beautiful but delicate
specimens from the ocean's depths remain
In the laboratory, and are not on public
view, says the Now Tork Times. According
to the custodian, the)- have the most capri
cious and exacting appetites and are only
oats could be doled out to the
horse. In that way he claimed that when
he had prepared and eaten his own break
fast Dobbin also would be ready for the
Mr. Edison readily grasped the idea, and
that very day. accompanied by an assistant,
he repaired to Barney's place and installed
an electrical appliance which he anticipated
would fill the Mil.
It was so arranged that lf'tbe oats were
placed in a receptacle at the'top of a chute,
the pressing of a button at the house would
put machinery in motion to do the rest.
And so It came to pass that on the morn
ing of the automatic oatfeedefs debut Bar
ney pushed the magnlcal button, serene in'
the belief that the Wizard's mechanism
would fulfill Its mission.
to be tempted by the daintiest of morsls.
In feeding the living coral minute par
ticles are Impaled on the point of a slender
stick, which Is gently drawn across the
waving surface of the group, and it is often
a matter of an hour before one group of
coral has satisfied Its rather exacting ap
petite, as each Individual mouth of the
hundreds that contribute to the one general
ytomach must have Its quota In turn, and
great caro must be taken that none of the
food falls uneaten to the bottom of the
psycl, as the slightest contamination of
the water Is fatal to these specimens.
With the sea anemones, of which the
Aquarium has quite a variety, almost ex
act.) similar conditions prevail. Although
capable of taking fcod in larger quantities
than the coral, the anemones are very
capricious and Irregular in their feeding,
some days taking the food offered vora
ciously and then for days at a time refusing
to be tempted by the most luscious morsels.
But, alas! the best-laid plans of electri
cians, as well as those of other folk, 'gang
Dobbin had not been Initiated Into the
mysteries of the new-fangled arrangement,
and. In the still watches of the morning.
feels that he could cut his throat for her. When a man
does not feel that way he has no feeling at all. '
Maxims of this fastidious morality were, we assume
without effort, handed out In the Courts of Love. Since
the latter are to be revived In Milan, why not also at St.
Louis? The more the merrier. Besides, we need them
badly. In theso days and-ln this part of the planet love
has degenerated into a game. A very pretty game at
that. Only when Ou aro old enough to pity It properly
) ou are too old to play -It at all. In which respect it li
Inferior to br.dga whist.
That is all wrong. The principles or the sport should
be taught at school if not at St Louis with a post-grad-uato
course In matrimony added. For It Is a matter of
common notoriety that through Ignorance of thesa things
the youth of the land have been obliged to go It blind,
and many of them to Dakota. What is worse, the sta
tistics are full of people who marry again and again be
fore they begin to know how. All ' of which a proper
course of sprouts would obviate.
And jet again it might not Human nature Is curiously
invariable. With or without instruction in thesa matters,
always has it preferred its own way. Babylonian tablets
recently disinterred show that thousands of years ago
It was quite the same that It Is to-day. Since then knowl
edge has Increased, but not wisdom. In matters ethical
and cardiac wo are not a bit more advanced than were
our elders In the reign of AssurbanlpaL Love to them
was quite as alluring as it is to the rest of us and equally
deceptive. They had their ideas on the subject, as we
have our theories, and then as now these Ideas and
themes amount to Just so much bosh, or more elerantlv
and exactly to three months of adoration, three montlu-5$
or. mirospecuon. uurty years ot toleration, with the chil- ?
dren to begin it all over new.
If the proposed revival of the Courts of Love at Milan,
with possible Illustrations of them at St Louis, can alter
that sort of thing we, for one. shall long to see them at
"Contrary animals, anyway, these anem
ones," complained the custodian; "with all
the j-eafs they have been under careful ob
servation in aquariums the world over we
have comparatively little accurate knowl
edge of them. That fellow over there"
pointing to a gorgeous, orange-colored speci
men from Bermuda with a spread of ten
drils covering at least a foot "has been
here a couple of years and has been a con
tinual source of worry In the matter of his
feeding habits. He takes fits of fasting,
and often goes a couple of weeks without
taking food, but just about the time we
have given up hope and firmly believe he Is
attempting suicide, back comes his appetite,
and for days the dinner bell can't ring too
HOW MARCONI SENDS
A WIRELESS MESSAGE.
"All ready!" he cried to the electrician
who stood In the power-room watching the
Inventor through the long connecting hall
way. A lever was pulled and a dim hum filled
the room. The Indicator of the volt meter
began to race past all sorts ot high figures
on the face of the dial.
"Now I'll send to Poldbu." He pressed
There was a blinding flash of bluish light,
for with each movement of the key great
sparks jumped two Inches between the two
silver knobs of the induction colL
One knob of this coil Is connected with
the earth, forming the ground connection,
the other with the wire leading to the aerial
wires. Each spark means an oscillating
Impulse from the battery to the aerial wire.
and from the wire the oscillations of ether
occur which carry through space at the
speed of 187,000 miles a second.
vith the bunding flash accompanying
each movement of tho key occurs a report
to be compared accurately with the nolsa
attending the discharge ot a Krag-Jorgcn-sen.
It was terrlf)ing the light, the noise, and
in the midst of It all the Inventor calmly
pressing the key, making more noise, more
light Imagine a company of Infantry fir
ing at will in a tunnel and you can under
stand the sound that accompanies sending
Marconi, who stuffs cotton In his ears
when sending. Is now experimenting to
deaden this sound.
But somehow, to one Impressed by the
fact that here. In this very room, a mes
sage was being sent through the air across
that gloomy stretch of 3.000 miles of ocean,
the noise and light seemed fitting gave thi
proper touch of the superhuman, of force,
of intensity. World's Work,