Newspaper Page Text
SFfte mm Sentinel
SATURDAY, Feb. 5
MISCELLANY.
Mr. Budd asked her, "Rose,
wilt thou be mine?" Rose an
swered: "I am sorry it cannot be
but a Rose cannot be turned in
to a Budd. "
Trying to do business without
advertising is like winking at a
pretty girl in the dark; you may
know what you are doing, but
nobody else does.
A Chicago girl worth' $3,000,000
is out doing housework in order
to know how to govern her own
mansion when she gets one. This
item is right from a Chicago pa
per, and can be relied on.
Landlady (fiercely) "You raus-
'nt occupy that bed with your
boots on.". Boarder: "Never
mind; they're an old pair Guess
the bugs won't hurt 'em. Let'em
rip anyhow!"
When an Indiana girl gets tired
of a lover and determines to dis
miss him, she doesn't throw
much fresco work into her speech.
"I guess you can pull oft now,
Sam," is her icy remark; "this
egg won't hatch."
Sample of modern obituary poe
try :
Pill away that little "pull-back;"
She will need it, ah, no more,
For they do not wear such fixings
On that bright, eelestial shore '
"Have you any nice fresh far
mer's eggs?" inquired a precise
old lady at a grocery store. "No,
ma'am," replied the practical
ulerk, "but we have some very
good hen's eggs." She took three
to try.
The following advertisement
appeared in a Canadian paper:
f Will the gentlemen who stole
my melons last Saturday night,
be generous enough to return me
a few of the seeds, as they are a
choice variety?"
Florida sportsmen are much an
noyed in their hunting excui -sions
now ; they can't shoot at
anything without danger of bring
iug down an ex-politician on a
health-restoring trip.
"Stay," he said, his right arm
around her waist, and her face
expectantly turned to him, "shall
it be the kiss pathetic, sympathe
tic, graph icorienlal, intellectual,
-parsxysmtil, qiiiek and dismal,
slow and unctious, long and te
dious, devotional, or what?" She
said perhaps that would be the
better way.
A maiden once said, "I'll not
mate with a man who has not
fortune 'great." So she pouted
and waited and scorned to be
mated, i She's a maiden yet age
forty-eight. N. Y. Com. Adv. A
maiden' once thought, "I'll marry
a man who is poor;" but the man
he drank beer, died driving a
"keer," and twelve orphans went
out from her door. 'Tis better to
wait and be aged forty-eight than
to marry the average man, for
there'? trouble ahead for the
maiden who'll wed the very first
person she can.
f
Symptoms uf Old-Maidishness.
A Scotch paper thus details
them :
When a woman begins to drink
her tea without sugar that's a
symptom.
When a woman gives a sigh on
hearing of a wedding that's a
symptom.
When a woman begins to say
that she's refused many an offer
that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to say
what a dreadful set of creatures
menare, and that she wouldn't
he bothered with one for all the
world that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to have
a little dog trotting after her
that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to have
a cat at her elbow at meal-time,
and gives it sweetened milk
that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to change
her shoes every time she comes
into the house after a walk that's
a symptom.
When a woman begins to say
that a servant has no business to
have asweetheart that's a symp
tom. When a woman begins to rub
her fingers over the chairs and
tables to see if they are dusty
that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to go to
bed with her stockings and a flan
nel nightcap on that's a symp
tom. When a woman begins to put
her fingers be fore her mouth when
talking to any one, for fear that
they should see she's losing her
teeth that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to talk
about rheumatism in her knees
and elbows tnat's a symptom.
When a woman begins to find
fault with her looking-glass, and
says it does not show the features
right that's a symptom.
When a woman begins talking
about cold drafts, and slops up all
the crevices of the doors and win
dowsthat's a symptom.
New Year's lessons.
It was crowing toward daylight
when Mr. Seizky reached his
home on January 1st. 1876. He
had been to the club, and there
had been a little jollification.
When he had succeeded in open
ing his front door, in which he
was aided by a policeman, he as
cended the stairs to his bed-room
heartilv thanking, in his mind,
the man "who invented bannisters
and entered the chamber where
his wife was not wrapped in the
arms of Morphens, outsitting bolt
upright in oea, enveiopea in a
red flannel night-gown. The
light of battle was in her eye, and
a night-cap was on her head As
Mr. Seizky balanced himself with
the aid of the bed-post he smiled
and nodded at his wife. "Drunk,
you beast!" remarked Mrs. S.
"Now we discush that pint,"
said Mr. S. letting go the bed-post,
and after skirmishing around for
a while, he succeeded in bring
iner a chair to a standstill and
clutching it by the back he plant
ed himself in an oratorical atti
tude and proceeded: "Mrs. S
were vou ever drunk ?" "Why,
you brute, you know that I never
was." "Then Mrs. S., premize
me to remark that you ain't com-
pitable comportable com put
com ." ' 'Oh , say competent at
once, you old jackass," burst in
his wife. "You're nz, my-clear
Competent to give an 'pinion
When I say to you, Mrs. S., that
dress you wear doesn't become
vou, what do 'you reply? Don't
you say, "Old beetle you don't
wear drv-eoods. and vou ain't
competent to give an 'pinion
You don't get drunk, and you
ain't competent to give an 'pinion
Isn't that logic ?" And he let go
the chair to make an impressive
gesture, but before the gesture
would be completed, he found
himself waltzing around the room,
grabbing at a table, a chair, a
mantlepiece, a looking-glass, ana
other articles which go to the
making up of a bed-room's furni
ture. He at length brought up
on a sofa, and though his exer
tions had been intense, a sweet
smile sat upon his countenance.
But the smile vanished very soon,
for his wife had jumped out of
bed, and was pulling him by the
hair and shouting: "Oh, you
brute ! You drunken beast ! You
old beetle-headed loafer! You
have gone and squashed my best
bonnet as flat as a Passover cake."
By this time she had managed to
tumble Mr Seizky 's form to the
floor, and was holding the dilapi
dated bonnet in her hand. She
then sat down on the sofa, and
commenced shedding tears over
the wreck of her beautiful bonnet.
"My jear," said Mr. S. from his
bed on the floor, "it doesn't look
well in a woman of your age to be
weeping over an old hat. It isn't
philersophercal. And, permiz me
to say, that it doesn't add to the
beauty of a woman of your age to
be dressed in a red-flanual night
gown, and with bare legs sitting
on a sofa weeping." Mr. Seizky
didn't say any more. Just then
his head coming in contact with
something hard, and it kept com
ing in contact with it a number
of times. A bootjack in the hands
of an infuriated wife most always
has a soothing effect. It's sooth
ing powers were so effective on
this occasion that Mr. S. didn't
make any calls yesterday, and he
will have to wear a soft hat down
town for the next two weeks.
Don't.
Don't insult a poor man. His
muscles may have been develop
ed. Don't fret, the world will move
on as usual after you are gone.
Don't color merchaums for a
living. It's simply dyeing by in
ches. Don't say, "I told you so?" Two
to one you never said a word
about it.
Don't throw dust in your teach
er's eyes. It may injure the pu
pil. Don't buy a coach to please your
wife. Better make her a little
sulky.
Don't write long obituaries.
Save some of your kind words for
the living.
Don't publish your acts of char
ity. The Lord will keep the ac
count. Don't mourn over fancied grie
vances. Bide your time, and real
sorrow will come.
Don't linger where "your love
lies dreaming." Wake her up,
and tell her to get breakfast."
Fickle Woman.
Melancholy was the fate of a
bashful young man who the oth
er morning rode into Wilton,
Minn., with his blushing and
beautiful bride to be, sinoe it turn
ed out that she was his bride not
to be; for while the Justice was
putting on a clean shirt before the
ceremony, she changed her mind;
and has since espoused another
young man. What dire events
spring from little causes ! If the
Judge hadn't been so fastidious
about his shirt, how happy that
young man would have been !
A baby in Nashville came upon
the stage of life in a private box
at the theatre there the other
night during the performance of
the play.
FERRY.
OXDOll tTt&CUtXi
KEEPS A-
FEERY
Across the COLORADO RIVER
Six Miles below Fort Yuma,
At the regular crossinc of the U. S. MAIL
LINES.
The Roads are good, and Two Miles
and a-lialf the SHORTEST to
HAY, GRAIN OR PASTURE.
TWO ZZZZSZ- CZASS
BOATS
Run Day or Night for the Accommodation
of the Traveling Public.
The above described Property FOR
SALE, with Everything pertainiag to
the Ferry Complete.
Apply to HALL HANLON at the
Ferry,
Yuma. March 21, 1874.
tf.
YUIV1A EXCHANGE.
Redondo and Balz,
Take pleasure in announcing to their
friends and the public generally the open
ing of thpir
Ealaa & M&m Street,
Near the Steamboat Landing.
Their stock of
Wines, Ziquors & Cigars
CANNOT BE
SURPASSED ANYWHERE
FOR
EXCELLENCE OF QUALITY.
To the Saloon is attached a splendid
BILL I Aft ZAZtZH,
the best one in town.
n connection with the Saloon, we have
One of the Largest and the
Best Corral in Yuma;
where teamsters and others can find
Ample eommddlatbas
FOB THEIR BEASTS
As well as Themselves.
Plenty of
JZay, Gram and Water
can always be found here.
Fob 1 tf
3. BAW
CHEAP CASH STORK!
JUAIN Street YUMA, A. T.
DEALER in GENERAL
Merchandise,
KEEPS on hand and is receiving with
Every Steamer a full and complete
jLsso7'lme?il
OF
Ge?iera2
MJEJZi C JETAJVS) I S U .
WHICH I WILL SELL AT THE
LOWEST TOSSIBLE
IVING JL RICES.
MY MOTTO IS
Small Profits
and
QUICK SALES!
janlOtf
ROAD STATION RECEIPTS
Stank JTo7'age Receipts,
Very important to Station Keepers, and
printed in the form required by the latesj
Military orders, on hand and for sale aj
THE " SENTINEL " OFFICE.
PRINTING.
AT THE
OFFICE
ON THE
Corner of MAIN and THIRD Streets,
OPPOSITE the PUBLIC
SCHOOL HOUSE,
YUMA
IS PRINTED
fen Ifenipfet
OF
THAT
IS NEEDED
iiM THIS
SECTION.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
oooaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Blanks, evay MM ;
Tickets, Sards, Tags,
B&Gdxgts, Labels,
Posters, ete.
MUSTIHcI
DAVID NEAHR,
Main st Yuma, A. T.
329 Sansome st. San Francisco.
Wholesale and Retail Dealer in
j General Merchandise, ;
Invites attention to the best se
lected and most complete stock
ever offered in this market, con
sisting, in part, of
Gro ceries, Provisions ,
wijvus & zzqztozzs,
CIGrARS & TOBACCO,
zr&'RZ)Wri.ziz;,
Tafcle and Pocket-Cutlery,
TINWARE, CROCKERY,
IRON, STEEL, BOLTS, NAILS
SCREWS and MINERS' TOOLS.
SPORTING GOODS,
WAGON-IiUMBER, Etc.
Furnishing Goods,
BOOTS & SHOES,
CLOTHING,
ETC.
A nrl nrp nnn stantlv and reerularly
rpfPivincr. by every steamer, fresh
California products, consisting of
WITTER.
CHEEESE, RAOOV.
ONIONS, . KKANS,
!HM. POTATOES.
n.RI,EY, CORN,
WHEAT.
f!'U!V MEAL.
BUCKWHEAT FI.OUR.
CALIFORNIA AND OREGON FLOUR,
CDTTIVG A: OONOANXKII FJtTTITS
AND VEGETABLES, etc.
Together with a general assort
ment adapted to this country. All
of which is offered at prices which
DRFY COMPETITION.
Buyers will find it to their in
terest to call and examine my
stock before purchasing elsewhere
All merchandise consigned to
my care will receive careful handl
ing and be forwarded with dis
patch by experienced freighters,
at lowest market rates.
8T Highest prices paid for all
Arizona products.
DAVID NEAHR.
Yuma. A. T.. Feb. 23. 1873.
YOUNG im
Who may be suffering from the effect ofj
youthful foiling or indiscretion, will tin
well to avail themselves of this, the
erentest boon ever laid at the alter of
suffering humanity. DR. SPINNEY
will guarantee to forfeit $5U0 for every
ease of seminal weakness, or private di
sease of any kind or character which he!
undertakes and fails to cure. He would.!
therefore say to the unfortunate suffer-!
jer who may read this notice, thnt you
are treading upon dangerous ground,
;when you longer delay in seeking the!
proper remedy toryour complaint. You
may be in the first stage; remember you
are approaching the last. If you are
bordering upon the last, and are suffer
ing some or all of its ill effects, remem
ber that if you persist in procrastination,
the time will come when the most skill
ful physician can render you no assist
ance; when the door of hope will be
closed against you ; when no angel of
mercy can bring you relief. In no case
has the Doctor failed of success. Then
let not despair work upon your imagma
tion, but avail yourself of the beneficial!
results of this treatment before youn
case is beyond the reach of medical skill,
or before grim death hurries you to a
premature grave. Full course of treat
ment $25.00. Send money by Post Of-
hce order or Express with full descrip
tion ot case. Call, or Address,
DR. A. B. SPINNEY,
No. 11, Kearny Street San Francisco.
sp25-ly.
Great Reduction in Prices!
c
OSMOPOLITAN SAJLOON
(Formerly Golden Eagle Hotel,)
MAIN STREET, YUMA, A. T.
From and after this date, first-class
LIQUORS AND WINES will be sold at
this Bar
At One Bit per Glass,
And Cigars and other Refreshments in pro
portion. Also Furnished Rooms To Let,
Yuma, April 10th, 1875.
tf, B. D. JONES.
ophoial directory:
POSTAL.
Arrival and Departures of Mails r
CALIFORNIA.
ARRIVE:
DEPART:
Monday. Mondav. )
Wednesday, 8 a.m. Thursday 3 P. 3
Saturday, ) Saturday, )
TUCSON.
ARRIVE
rR :
ay, (2
iy.
DEPART:
Mondav,
Monday,
Wednesday, -9 A. M
Saturday. )
Thursday,
Saturday,
EHRENBKRO.
ARRIVE :
DEAART :
Tuesday. ) R Monday, ) .
Saturday. J 6 P-M- Thursday,?6-
FEDERAL.
Congressional Delegate.. Hiram S Steven?
Governor A P K Safford Tucson
Secretary Coles Basbford
Oh'f Justice, IstDist E F Dunne. Tucson
Terms 1st Mondays of March aud Oct.
Associate Justice for 2d District, Yumar
DeF. Porter. ...Yuma.
Terms 1st Mondays of April and Dec.
Associate Justice for .M District, Yavapai,.
C A Tweed Phoanix.
Tekms 1st Mondays in June and Nov.
U. S. Marshal F H Goodwin. ..Yuma
U. S. Attorney... J E McCaffry.. .Tucson
U. S. Surveyor Gen.. J Wissnn.. "
Reg. Land Office.. W N Kelly ..Prescotfe
" " Levi Ruggles... Florence
Receiver Geo Lount Prescott
" Florence
U. S. Col. Int. Rev..T. Cordis. ..Prescott
U.S.Spc'1 Mail Ag't..I.N.Dawley.. "
Dpt. Col. Customs.. C H Briniey.. Yuma
' " ..J W Hopkins. .Tucson
TERRITORIAL.
Atty. Gen (vacant) Tucson
Trensurer -John B Allen "
Auditor A C Benedict "
Adjt Gen J S Vosburg "
YUMA COUNTY.
Probate Judge H N Alexander
District Attorney Wm P Miller
Shei iff. Wm A Worninger
Clerk District Court J WDorrington
Recorder - OF Townsend
Treasurer - A J Finlay
fuDlic Administrator, rl : Lindsey
Coroner E J Smith
( JM Barney
Supervisors Charles Baker
- J Samter
TOWNSHIP OFFICERS.
Just ice of the Peace.. WH Tonga.. Yumo
" ' ...R RntnMio.. "
..CH Briniey.. "
School Superintendent H N Alexander
( David Neahr
School Trustees I Polhamus, Jr
( Chris Bfiine
TOWN OFFICERS.
Myr A J Finlar
f . David Neahr
Couneilmen - Andrew J Keen
l Hal! Hsnloa
(. .V..Wm Burke
Treasurer JM Barney
Assessor E .1 Smith
R'-corder C H Briniey
Poundmnster James McCarty
RATES OF POSTAGE.
DOMESTIC.
Letters to all parts of the United Sfc-ifcps,
3 cents each half ounce or fraction.
Letters, drop or local, 1 cent each half
ounce or fraction.
Miscellaneous mail matter (timited to
4 lbs.) 2 cents each 2 ounces or fruition
Book (limited to 4 lbs.) 2 cents eaeh 2
ounces or fraction.
Nfwspnper8. seeds, etc., (see list in Post
Office) limited to 4 lbs., I cent ench 2
ounces or fraction.
Australia Letters per esh half ounce,
22 cents. Newspapers per each 4 ounces,
w cents. "O
China Letters oer each half onnce. 10
cents. Newspapers, per each, 2 cents.
Belgium Letters per each hJf unce,
8 cents. Newspapers, per ach 4 ounces,
4 cents.
Bermuda Letters, per each half ounce,
10 cents. Newspapers, per each, 2
eents.
Rrazil Letters, ner each half ounce. I
cents. NewsDaDers. ner each, 2 cents.
Central America Letters, per each halt
ounce, 10 cents. Newspapers, per each
2 ounces, 2 cents.
Hnhn T.ntters. ner each half ounce. 10
cents. Newspapers, per each, 2 cents.
nnmnrlr Letters, per each half oune.
7 cents. Newspapers, per each, 4 cents.
France Letters, per eacn one-tnird of
n A- XT
an ounce, i cents. uewHpaners, per
each, 2 cents.
States Letters, ner each half
ounce, 7 cents Newspapers, per each.
a minM 4 eents.
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Iie-
land Letters, per eacn nan ounce, six
cents. Newspapers, per 4 ounces, three
eents.
Greece Letters' per each half ounce,
15 cents. .Newspapers, per each four
ounces, nine cents.
Ttnlv Letters, Der each half ounce, ten
cents. Newspapers, per each four ounces
4 cents.
Jamaica Letters, per each half ounce,
10 cents. .Newspapers, petf each, two
cents. Japan Letters, per each half ounce, ten
cents. Newspapers, per eaoh, 2 cents.
Mexico Letters, per each half ounce,
JO cents. Newspapers, per each, 2 cents,
witzerland Letters, ner each hall
ounce, 10 cents. Newspapers, per eaca
4 ounces, 4 cents.
NOTICE.
NnHnu 11 tiarnlt., Ut all ilahfs ff
advertising due The Arizona Sentinel-
nrior t.n Kontamhai- inm 117-1 nre DaV-
able to C. L. Minor, and' from and after
mac date to Wm. J. Berry All unuam
subscriptions to The Sentinel are pay
able to Wm. J. Berry, who will also com
plete all subscriptions paid to C. L. Minor
prior to October 12th, 1873. Persons
havinor minima -,iinoh 'Pup SRXT1XEL of
fice prior to the 12th instant, will present-
them for collection to U.L. Minor.
C. L. AlliNUK,
octlt3-tf WM. J BEKKY.
