Newspaper Page Text
The Song of the Orango PeeU
XAce a bar o the beaten sold
I gleam in the summer sun.
X am little. I know, but think I ran throw
A man that will weigh a ton.
I send out no challenges bold.
I blow me no vauntinghorn.
But foolish is he who treadeth on me.
He'll wish he had never been born.
Like the flower of the field, vain -n-i
Goeth forth at the break of day.
But when he doth feel my grip on his heel
Like the stubble he fadeth away,
FOr I lift him high up in the air.
With his heels where his head ought to
With a downcoming crash he falls like a
And I know he's clean gone upon me.
I am much scorned by haughty mankind;
I am modest and meek, if you will;
Though my talenfs are few, yet the work
that I do
Has often taxed medical skill.
Im a blood red Republican born.
And a nihilist fearless I be.
Though the head wear a crown. I would
bring Its pride down
If It sets its proud heel upon me,
Why Ho Limped
T admire a liar," says William Aides
Seltzer, the Cleveland author of wild
west stories, "even vrben his prevarica
tions strain my credulity. A friend of
mine who objects to my efforts to pry
Into his personal affairs recently limp
ed into my west side workshop.
" "What's the matter with your feet?
I asked, more to be polite than because
I cared what was the trouble. Then he
gained my everlasting admiration by a
display of nerve and mendacity 1 never
An eel stepped on 'emf be said."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Getting the Future Meal.
Sdentlstjr declare they soon will be able
to extract food directly from the atmos
phereNews I tern. J
All circumjacent atmosphere is packed
and jammed with food.
But means for its extraction are at pres
ent writing crude.
Potatoes haunt the autumn air. anddborne
on every breeze
Are onions, though invisible and quite un
seen, there's cheese.
The pancake in the azure floats and ma
ple sirup, too.
"While from the zephyr steaks may fall as
gently as the dew.
When science has contrived the way reach
forth with either hand
And from low lying etrata pluck "soft
boiled" and eke "ham and."
The future rain will be of tea or coffee
clear and hot
And heaven drop, of cake and pie, the
kinds that hit the spot.
New York Evening Sun.
Sun. Matinefe Jan. 5th
, -5S THE BIG JWUSICAL COMEDY
40 Colored Performers 40
.INCLUDING FAMOUS BEAUTY CHORUS
By the Members, of the .etlementCIub
OAKLAND MUSIC HALL
40th: AND COTTAGrE GROVEIAVE."
Undor direction of MADAM MINNIB3ADAMS
Interlocutor: MRS. G.nW. LACEY -fl
"jkn cj Me.n":. "S
rflrs. yjm. EtnfpijeJj Mrs..H, Claybrooks
Mrs. G. A. Thornton- Mrs. Ash
' Mrs. Martin
OTHER IITTERESTISrG- SPE.CTAJilTIES
S. RICHARD SON
Real Estate - and Renting
160 NORTH FIFTH AVENUE
H. W. Cjraer. Fifth Atsi tad RuuMpn Stmt., OppetfU Mrp, How-StiU5IS
ISSSS? 6l CHICAGO
.DESIRABLE ELATS TO RENT
2720 Dearborn Street, 2nd ilat, 6rooms--$19
3741 La SaHe Street, 2nd; flat, center, 4 rooms & bath $15
2426 SfrnmaryAqe.; lsttflat, 4 rooms-$14
5521 Shields Ave., 1st flat, 5 rooms and bath $18
7230 Wjentworth Are., 2nd flat, H rooms and bath $22
5754 Wentworth Ave., 2nd flat front, 5 rooms and bath $18
- After Election.
The time has come." the' voter said.
To think of other things-
Of makhjE dough for dally bread
And paying lent, by jlnga!"
A Fair Warning.
Peasant (reading over Jiis accident in
surance to his powerful wlfe)-Look
here, next time you fail out with me
you'd better take care. This policy
says that when I suffer from clrcum
stances over which 1 have no control I
flon't get anything. Fllegende Blatter.
Where It Came From.
Teacher (reading aloud) The weary
sentinel leaned on his gun and stole a
few moments' sleep.
T bet I know where he stole it
"From his nap'-sack." San Fran
Your Best Girl.
When slejghlng. should the moon go hide
J3ehind a cloud, you never miss her.
Then Is the time to turn aside
And take her in your arms and kiss her.
The oyster in the stewpan stirred
Attended strictly to his biz
And ne-er said a single word.
And yet see what his finish is!
Blobbs Does Longbow ever tell the
Slobbs Well, I caught him in the
twitW .... t A. l- . .... ....
uuiu ure, uui ne tnea to ne otrtjox It
The fly looked around at her progeny
As they swarmed up the walla and stairs
And proudly smiled. "Well, it seems to
That I am a sort of Carnegie.
For I rank with the million-heirs."
For Bent, 4431-33 South State Street,
four (4) room apartments.
4519-23 Evans Avenue, six room
3308 Bhodes Avenue, House eight
rooms in perfect condition.
Inquire, Chicago Beal Estate Loan
and Trust Company,
117 North Dearborn Street Boom 504,
Phone Bandolph 5771
. AND, i
Flight of Biras. "
Some birds nave a long range of
flight, such as the martingale, wild
goose and several members of the vul
ture tribe. In general birds are re
stricted to certain geographical areas,
although the same Ashing eagle that
inhabits the shores of Scotland is seen
In south Europe.
If almonds after being blanched are
plunged Into cold water they will keep
snow white. To blanch them it is best
to put them into cold water and let it
come Just to the boiling point
Many Patent Documents.
If all the documents stored in the
patent office at Washington could be
placed end to end they would form a
strip that would reach around the earth
The writer of a book entitled "How
to Plan a Library Building For Library
Work" says. "I not only believe, but
know, that 1 per cent of the cost of
building put Into employing a really
competent expert librarian to collabo
rate with the architect will save from
10 to 40 per cent on the cost In space,
convenience and materiaL"
Hoist With His Own Petard.
The Regent .Morton of Scotland, who
invented the maiden, a sort of guillo
tine, was the first to be beheaded there
by. This was in the reign of Queen
Islands of the Amazon.
The mighty Amazon river abounds in
floating islands whose underpinning of
mud Is washed away gradually by the
x:urrents, and then the Isles, mere
patches and pads of earth, roots and
tropical vegetation, float slowly sea
ward or are dissolved, stranded, sunk
or washed into the Atlantic
From cadet the younger son. who
was looked upon with scorn by his
older and richer brother "Ob. he's
only a cad." only a cadet having no
property and not worth notice.
Alexander the Great
Alexander succeeded to the throne of
Macedonia in his twenty-first year. He
died at the age of thirty-two. Thus in
the space of about twelve years the
young soldier had brought the Greek
states into submission, crushed Darius
and his million of Persians and crossed
the Indus and defeated the Indian king
Porus. Alexander was not merely a
brutal conqueror, bnt tried to weld the
various countries into a solid empire.
To make oatmeal jelly boll four table
spoonfuls of oatmeal in one pint of wa
ter (In a double boiler) for three hours,
adding water from time to time, and
English Literature In Bulgaria.
Bulgnria is the most literary of the
Balkan state, and the works of Eng
lish writer- have a considerable vogue
there, both in the original and In trans
lations. The Turk's Dinner,
Barely Indeed a wenltliy Turk seen
at his wife's dinner table, lie usually
dines in a part of the Iioum remote
from that occupied l lii i-nnnubial
partner or partners, mid Ms eotnpan
ions are generally his eider sous and
perhaps some male friends.
Welsh mothers put a pair of tongs or
a knife in the cradle to insure the safe
ty of their children. The knife Is also
used for the same purpose in some
parts of England.
History shows that no great genius
ever had red hair. Alone among the
poets of the world was Swinburne,
whose hair was distinctly reddish, and
among the great reformers only John
Banyan's hair was really red. The
slmon pure carroty bead, however, ap
pears nowhere linked to world fame.
To clean mica in' stoves take Ht out
and thoroughly wash it with vinegar
slightly diluted. If the black does not
come off readily let it soak in the vine
gar a little while.
Saves the Books.
Insects will never attack books that
are dusted once a year with powdered
alum and white pepper. Three parts
of alum should be used to one of pep
Wooden Spoons In Russia.
The peasant class in Russia. whicC
forms 77 per cent of the total popula
tion, still uses the wooden spoon. Th6
people of this class cannot afford steel
knives and forks and never have plated
silverware. The middle classes use
steel and plated ware, and the wealthy
classes usually have sterling.
In some English college lists those
who were not of noble birth were en
tered as s. nob. sine nobilitate. Thack
eray crafted the word snob on the
The best cork comes from trees in
Spain and Portugal tiiat are allowed to
become ?orty years old before the bark
Is cut, and then it Is removed only ev
ery eight or ten years.
' - Cats and Dogs.
A-Japanese saying runs: "Feed a cat
three years and she remembers you
three5 days; "keep a do; three days and
he will cherish it three years
"Tour boy seems to be stronger oa
athletics than be is on the classics."
"Yes," replied the candid parent. "He
explained that to me. He says he
knows I am much more likely to un
derstand and appreciate what he is do
ing in athletics." Washington Star.
He sang to her under the window.
He told of the peaceful night;
He sang. "How serenely quiet
Is all "neath the stars so bright!"
But just as he reached the stanza
That ended with "sllvec moon"
Her father appeared at the window.
And be Instantly changed bis tune.
Pouting Wife You used to call ma
the light of your life.
Hub-So 1 did. but I had no idea the
meter was going to register such a cost.
The small boy's growing rathe- glum.
He's anxious as he waits.
It seems the time will never come
For him to put on -kutes.
One Lawyer to Another You are the
biggest fool I ever saw:
Judge Order, order: You forget that
I'm in the room! Pittsburgh Dispatch.
A wild and uncivilized Sioux
Once asked a Chinee for a chloux.
No "baccy he had.
It made him so mad
Ho cut oft the Chinaman's quloux.
New i'ork American.
Mrs. Goodley Mrs. Bloomer seems to
keep her youth still.
Miss Chellus Well, she keeps her age
quiet Catholic Standard and Times.
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained"
Is a motto that has cost
The safest way to put it Is
"Nothing ventured, nothing lost!"
"So your engagement to Miss Jor
rocks Is broken?' said Dubblelgh.
"Yes." sighed Higgins. "Her mother
said she was a first class cook, and I
saw at once I'd never be able to keep
her." Harper's Weekly.
Talk Is rather cheap, and whyT
Because, you understand.
There's nearly alwas a supply
Exceeding the demand.
First Suffragette So those horrid
college students broke up your parade?
Second Suffragette Yes. In a parade
they bad the night before ours was
scheduled they broke every plate glass
window in town. New York Times.
He was n saving cuss for fair.
But carried it too far;
To save his brand new shoes from wear
Ho bought a motorcar.
"How did yon likp our new medicine
"It was simply great.
"Ah! And will you give us a testimo
"Sure. You may say that the jokes
are the kind I have always used.
He'd always borrow trouble, and
He acted like a jack.
For when he bad a stock on hand
He couldn't pay it back.
"Ts your son an optimist?'
"No, sir. No eye doctors in this fam
ily." Baltimore American.
A cop's range of language is spacious,
A ball player's blue and pugnacious,
A conductor can cuss.
A stage driver Is wuss.
But as for a sailor good gracious!
Wife Be sure to advertise for FIdo
In the next morning papers.
Next day the wife read as follows in
"Lost. A mangy lap dog, with one
eye and no tail. Too fat to walk. An
swers to the name of Fido. If returned
stuffed 515 reward." Tit-Bits.
Twinkle, twinkle, lovely star!
How 1 wonder if you are
"When at home the tender age
Ton appear when on the stage!
St, Louis Dispatch.
Ha Would you rather be beautiful or
She Beautifnl. I think. Yon see,
there are lots of stupid men. but only a
few blind cues. Boston Transcript.
There was a young doctor named Ledd.
Whose' last case was checked off as
When asked why be scowled
He grumbled and growled.
Tm all out of patients." he said.
"Own up. now. Who's the head of
"My wife used to be admitted Mr.
Enpeck, "but since my daughters are
grown up we have a commission form
of government" Washington Herald.
Oh. Eden's garden was & place
Where man might rest contented!
Kb piano ka-thu-nped next door.
They had not been invented.
Minerva Isn't It strange, mother,
that all the heroines in novels marry
- Mater Yes, my dear; but that Is fie
Hon. Judge. )
roTra -p-Tat jtsictk Brjmiaa jroa
SATjE AT A BAEGAIK.
For sals, four fiat brick bunding, at
a bargain, located on Armour avenue,
near 36th Street. Beat 460 per month.
"for further iaformatfoTT, esU on or
address Julias P. Taylor, 5027 Amour
avenue, Phase Drezel -590.
This is a good irreebaeas aad good
income prt-jsrtj, , ahK
Miles J. Devine
Attorney at Law
Mm S1SO20 nr BUafc
Oat 4 Ws-M-qria-s H-aass OECASO
PUeec OSes, Male 4131
Res. Dre-eJ. 7990
WALTER M. FABMEB
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Smite 70S, 184 WaaMattsa St.
MeUry PblU CHICAGO, ILL.
0m PImm; Central 6624.
Res. PIm-m. Does. 4Jf7.
Kr 500 Est Street
J. GRAY LUCAS
Attorney at Lav
Subs 405. 145 dark St.
TeL Ccatnl S!t2
Franklin A. Denison
Attorney at Law
W. RANDOLPH STREET
BIawai-t Wm "Ml
A. D. GASH
1 1 S.North La Salle St. Chicago
Sails 615 t0 616
TIphon Main 3077
Off let Phoni Ant--utle 44-185
Rm. Phost Aatomitlc 79-137
W. G. ANDERSON
Salt 5M.thodUt Chorea Block
S. E. Cor. Clark & Wiihlnrtoa Sti., CHICAGO
EvtBlnr Offlct 3449 SUU St., 7 to 9.
John J. Dunn
Sl-4St.a-Ul-S.ft M. S.
TsL AlHas lilt b at HxU
OiSHr-c9t.UA.M, 2 1.5 P.M.
3158 State Street. Chicago
t A, K. ft. Bft
7 P. U. 1. 1 P. U. SMStsr ls
OB. TBEO. 6. MOZEE
nan OdSt-wi Wi nifi 7S0S1
'tut, . .-V ft-
, 7 You never
J b. xTM m m
- ?- i.rs
?j0j io yet nere
And it is
which characterizes all the
products of the
Come in and
Other styles $25 to $200.
I TtUjiost DttjltJ 4SS8 TtltBasae Asteatatie 71-783
FRANK L. GALE PIANO CO. l
3159 S. State Street : : Chicago
THB SSOAD AX CAW KB TOTJXO
OK SALS AS THB POUiOWTJIs
Tro-a oa aad after this .date Saa
Bread Ar, eaa be found ea sale as tao
following saws stands:
A. P. Terraka. ehrar start aad aaws
stand, 6004 Bats strset.
George L Martin, xaakax of flat eisan '
and nam ttaad, 18 W. Slat 8t aaax
B. M. Harvey's barber shoo aad
news stand, 3924 State strut.
Mrs. Nellie Phelps, eigars, astisaa
aad news stand, 15 W. JCth St, aeaa
W. & Cole, eigars, tobawo and news
stand, 84 W. 31st St, near Dearbora.
T. B. Hall, laundry offlea aad news
stand, 11 W. 28th Bt, near Btate.
B. Davis, eigaH, tobaeeo and sews
stand, 3532 Bute St.
W. M. Maxwell notions, einrt. to
baeeo, confections and news stand. 6244
Edward Tellx, notions, eljrars aad
news stand, 63 W. 30t Bt.
7. Biaaop, eigars, tobaeeo and asws
stand, 8 W. 27th Bt, near Bute.
Sylvester MeQIoffin, sews stand and
laundry office, 4122 Bute St.
William Gaughan, laundry offles.
eigars, tobaeeo and news stand, 2630
Mn. Ii. B. Taylor, notions, eigars
and sews stand, 15 W. 36th Street,
A. D. Hayes, Cigars, Tobaeeo, No
tions, Stationery and News stand, 3640
South SUte street.
J. Hamilton, news stand, out of town
papers, and shoe saining parlor, 3220
South SUte street
J. H. BoberU, barber shop and news
stand, 3308 State street
THE AMERICAN LIFE INSURANCE
J- COMPANY OF ILLINOIS.
OH Lis Unl Xturrt C
EifUadtrsutt CtTtn-Mat dp-milts.
J10O.0OO deposited with thriStiteJPoUefesof til
kinds, nn-ine from five eeats to ten thm-
dollars. Oar InduWaEContrtetj sire to tae color
ed policy holder mora than tar olaericomtanj' for
tie same weerjj predion.
Csl-rti A-tats t Writ- us Uleet Trar Batl--s "
Information of rates and nines tt yoar aze wfll
be furnlilied free. UDoneiTinr tout ize. name and
Tot ABirieta Lift Iasartaet Co., tf Ullaols,
T.lepnonei. CALUMET 4401-4428
J. S. DORSEY, DrnzgUt
2701 Dearborn St. CHICAGO
Ue Dofsor'a line Pomad far tha hair. It
will xaaka it aoft and slosar. PraacriptioBa
caraf ullr componndad. Phona yoar ORDERS
ni DoDclas Hotel
Batae, SUeaa Beat. BeetrJeUeat
Sees 8. 8Ut ttitrt. rT-a--rjQ
Oallaad 1609 Ra. OaUaad 1760! Aato. 79156
NErlRY G. B0MAR1& SOI
F1NE1FURN1TURE AND PIANO
3fTr!p-D-l!7 ta AIllD-pota
. - iJi
t Y& -' -SWSj
of the same
and perfection $
hear it any time
Victors S10 to S100.
BJTtir . .Bt-tsE