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ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, lSli
Vol.44, 1.0 69. Entered at Pittsburg rostofflce,
Kovember 14, 18S7, as second-class nutter.
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P1TTSBDRG, SUNDAY, APR. 7, 18S9.
THE TIES OF GEAHTULE.
How much foundation there is for the
story thai when Senators Quay and Cameron
were returning from their fruitless visit to
,the President to get him to reduce Post
master General Wanamaker to order, the
late manager of the Republican campaign
remarked to his colleague: 'D an in-
grate." We hardly credit the report, inas
much as it is totally opposed to that great
rule of political life which the astute Quay
crystalized in his famous message to Gen
Moreover, such a remark, if it were made,
would present a double-edged quality. !For,
however Senator Quay and Postmaster Gen
eral Wanamaker may be divided in their
official lives, they have been united in the
statement that when the former wanted a
sum of money to secure victory in last year's
campaign, the latter raised the funds for
him. If, therefore, it is ingratitude for any
one to refuse Senator Quay what he wants
as the victorious manager of the campaign,
must it not also be ingratitude for Senator
Quay to refuse to the man who furnished
the sinews of war which enabled him to win
that victory, the privilege of miking the
appointment which the latter wants made
in his own department?
"We consider Senator Quay fullv posted
as to the fact that gratitude is not so much
of a factor in political appointments as a
lively expectation of favors to come.
STANLEY'S FINAL E0UTE.
The news that Stanley and Emin Bey
have already been heard of, on their way to
the Zanzibar coast, is not wholly corrobor
ated. Intimations were previously heard
that Stanley would take that route on his
final movement from the N anza; bnt except
for the devastation caused by the Arab slave
traders between the Congo and Nyanza, it
is hard to see why it would not be easier to
move Emin's force by the Congo, where
it could be transported for the greater
part of their journey by steamers. There
are 1,200 miles of land marching from the
2iyanza to Zanzibar; and it may be remem
bered that in making that march the Anglo
American expedition very nearly came to
grief. "Whatever reasons may have de
termined the selection of the Zanzibar route,
if it has been taken, it will permit Stanley
to rescue his own rescuer, or discover his
own discoverer, the bicycler, Stevens.
OTTTGSOWUTG ITS CLOTHES.
Though the proposed widening of Dia
mond street, as a means to better facilitate
travel jnd business in the heart of the city
and unobstructed communication with the
East Eud, meets with very general approval,
it still seems as though the objectors may
prevent it This was the fate of the pro
posals for the grading of the hump. All
that remains to be said is that if opportuni
ties are missed when they can most readilv
and at least cost be utilized, it is probable
occasion for all-round regret afterward.
Had the foresight of the surveyors and
proprietors who planned Pittsburg's streets
taken a prophetic glimpse of what we see
in these days, a map of the town vouldshow
many changes. To alter much now to suit
new conditions is made impossible by the
investment in buildings which would have
!to go. This obstacle will every year become
For such reasons, the chance which now
presents itself of widening Diamond street,
owing to the razing of the buildings at the
corner of "Wood, will not again present
itself. To undertake the work ten years
from now would involve ten times the cost.
KAHIPuLATIlfG DEBT STATEMENTS.
The first debt statement of the new ad
ministration produces a dispute as to the
correctness of its showing. It appears that
it shows a decrease in the total debt from
December 1, 1886, to January 1, 1889, of
only 541,000,000. The result is reached by
omitting to deduct from the total debt the
amount of cash in the Treasury, which has
been largely increased by the deposit of
gold and silver. "With that deduction made
the decrease has been $217,000,000. The
criticism seems to be a fair one, but it is no
more than just to point out that the prece
dent of changing the form and method of
computing the public debt was set by the
Cleveland administration. That was done
at the commencement of its term, evidently
for the purpose of diminishing the amount
of surplus shown by the statement. It is not
well to cook the debt statement in any way,
but it is only poetic retribution if one admin
istration adopts the method of the other, to
make the results of the latter appear less
favorable. The form of debt statement
which was in use for nearly twenty years
before the Cleveland administration went
into power was simple and easily under
stood. It should be adhered to henceforth.
PROPOSED BALLEOAD REGULATION.
It is important that Mr. "Wherry, though
representing an entirely different class and
cection, makes, practically, the same charges
and complaints against the Pennsylvania
Railroad that Mr. Carnegie does. Possibly
some of the grangers who have been urging
the Dressed Beef bill may find in the fact
that it costs 510 per car more to ship cattle
from Cumberland County to Philadelphia,
than from Iowa, a good explanation of their
lack of prosperity.
Mr. "Wherry has attained the remarkable I
success, for this legislature, of getting his
anti-discrimination bill favorably reported
from Committee; but it is a rather singular
Tact'thathis bill affords no remedy for the
abuse of which he makes complaint It
simply proposes to enforce the third and
seventh sections of the seventeenth article
of the Constitution, providing against per
sonal discriminations, and for the publicity
of rates. This is a very conservative meas
ure, and no one who desires any degree of
regulation whatsoever, can object to it,
Bat it is noticeable that it fails to cover the
discriminations of which both Mr. Carnegie
and Mr. "Wherry make their chief com
plaint Mr. Carnegie's proposition for legisla
tion, so far as we are aware, has not been
committed to paper, but we understand it
to be a far more radical measure. He pro
poses a' law by which a railroad shall fie
compelled to" charge as low a rate per ton
mile on freight carried within the State, as
it does upon its infer-State traffic,,with the
proviso that if it can show any difference of
cost, it shall be allowed the benefit of it.
Such a law, in the remote contingency of its
passage, and, possibly, the still more remote
contingency of its enforcement, would cause
a decided revolution in railroad methods.
"We will not now discuss the bearings of
such a radical measure. It is an interesting
fact that a man whose life has been largely
spent in practical railroading, has proposed
the most radical measure of railroad regu
lation that has yet been formulated.
INELIGIBLE JOB ASSASSINATION.
The report of a plot to assassinate the
Prince of "Wales at the Xeicester races yes
terday lacks the element of probability.
Possibly some person of the practical
joker class thought it might be funny to
worry the municipal authorities by a letter
telling them that such a plot existed. But,
though there may be desperate revolution
ists in England, it is hard to believe that
any of them cuuld find it in their hearts to
do murder bn so harmless and jovial a vic
tim as the legitimate successor ofBrum
mell's "fat friend."
Assassination generally seeks as its mark
a monarch or ruler of great force, or one
who holds an arbitrary power. Men of the
stamp of Lincoln and "William of Orange
on the one hand, or of Alexander H, and
Henry IV. on the other are assassinated;
but a heir apparent whose inflictions
on the public consist of contracting debts
that he cannot pay and making speeches
on laying corner stones or at dedications,
though open to disapproval, is not eligible
to the death sentence of the most blood
thirsty red republican club.
Indeed, it would be the worst possible
thing which anv one who is in favor of a
British republic could do. To murder, the
Prince of "Wales would unite the people of
that nation in their somewhat straggling
loyalty to the throne. On the other hand,
His Royal Higness alive is one of the best
arguments that the republicans could have.
The spectacle of a divinely-appointed and
infallible hereditary ruler whose royal dic
tum is of no avail beyond settling the his
tronic and personal merits of the newest ac
tress, convinces more people of the useless
ness and emptiness of royalty.in a week than
assassination could in a cycle.
"We think that "Tummy" can continue
his attendance at races and theaters without
fear of the assassin's dagger, the Fenian
pistol or the Nihilist bomb. "When the
English people get tired of the throne they
will tell him to retire to private life; and
he will be resigned to the edict, because,
like the bereaved widower's deceased wife,
he has to be.
PEESSING A LEADING PB0BLEM.
Stimulated by frequent reports of the
enormous and steaaily growing trade of
Great Britain, Germany and France with
Central and South America, some of the
leading business men in the East are at last
moving in the matter. One of the largest con
cerns in the export and trading line at New
Xbrk is now sending circulars over the
country showing what opportunities for ex
tension of business the United States is
losing. A sufficient summary is em
bodied in the single statement that of $450,
000,000 of goods now annually imported by
Central and South America, the United
States, with all the natural advantages of
situation on its side, contributes but 10 per
cent, while Europe, at a distance, fur
The first request is a steamship line to do
the carrying business regularly and adequate
ly. It has already been several times stated
in The Dispatch, as showing the condi
tion of things, that if a merchant or manu
facturer of Buenos Ayres wants to go to
New York, or a New Yorker to Buenos
Ayres, it is now necessary to take passage
by way of Liverpool or London, for want of
regular steamer communication between the
Northern and Southern parts of our conti
nent That an American line of vessels
would immensely encourage trade and
swiftly become self-supporting is no longer
seriously doubted. At first government as
sistance would be required. The usual fur
ious howls against subsidy might then be
heard from chronic objectors, as though be
cause subsidies have been dishonestly, cor
ruptly and extravagantly applied by Con
gress in the past they should now forever be
withheld from enterprises, however merit
orious or pressing. But the overwhelming
business sense of the country will uphold
President Harrison's declaration in iavor of
just such encouragement for this foreign
This is indeed one of the great business
problems for the present administration.
No section has a deeper interest in its solu
tion than this place, which stands at the
very headquarters of continuous and open
lines of navigation to the new territory.
THE HUE. FIGHT.
The announcement, made in our local
columns as coming from the representatives
of the Milk Producers Association, that in
order to meet any opposition of the dealers
to its control of the trade, it will reduce the J
supply to-morrow to one-fourth its previous
quantity, reveals a resort to methods of the
gravest and most questionable character.
Milk is a prime article of food, and to a
large portion of the population an absolute
necessity. There is no reason to believe
that the people of Pittsburg have been using
four times as much milk as they need. The
edict of the combination which professes to
control the supply of milk for this city is
that, in order to force thepayment of such
prices as they deem fit, the children of Pitts
brrg must go hungry or drag along on a
quarter their regular supply. This is not
the method of legitimate commerce; but it
is the regular weapon of the trusts, namely,
the production of an artificial famine for the
benefit of the combination, regardless of
public need or ordinary humanity.
Ot course this sort of thing will very soon
defeat itself. It will not only call into
competition "new producers of milk to sup
ply the demand, but the members of the
combination will very soon get tired of
hneinec. m.H,...., i,:i, ., a .1. s
.br.ne,l'.lS. ? .!LdWa Jir
sales three-fourths. But, in the meantime,
if such a rule is enforced, many babie: In
the city- have got to perish for lack of sus
tenance in order that the association may
screw an extra cent or two per gallon out of
the trade. Either by its own showing the
association is adopting the selfish and
illegal tactics of the trusts, or if the de
deficiency can be made good from other
quarters its claim of controlling the supply
"We have no doubt that by legitimate
trade methods the association could lessen
the cost of distributing milk to the "con
sumers, and thus secure an advantage to
the farmers. But when it opens its career
by attempting to create an artificial famine,
it puts itself in an attitude which invites
and deserves public opprobrium.
HALSTEAD'B INNINGS NOW.
Senator Payne took occasion to say to a
reporter yesterday that if Editor Halstead
were again nominated for the German mis
sion, the Senate jwonld again reject him.
There is just a little bit of reason not to be
too sure of this. "While the Senators have
been having their fun at the expense of
Halstead, that part of the performance is
now over, and Halstead is having his turn
at the expense of the Senators. Already
his inquiry into their political antecedents
has been such as neither to elevate the dis
senting members in public esteem, nor to
make them feel particularly pleased with
the outcome of their officious revenge for
his previous criticisms of the manner of
Senator Payne's election.
Senator Payne may feel temporarily grati
fied, since he chose to regard the affair as
his personal fight; but some of his colleagues
are likely before long to wish that the fluent
Field Marshal were at Berlin, or Halifax,
or any other considerable distance, in place
of Cincinnati. In making the affair per
sonal, they undertook an irritating con
tract Their opportunity to humiliate Hal
stead is passed. His ways and means for
retaliation continue to his hand from day
to day. It is a petty piece of business by
'which the country is neither edified nor im
proved, but before the end comes the Sen
ators will, if we mistake not, have received
sharp and valuable instruction from it
It is Mr. Halstead's innings from now on.
The Senators finished at their single play
with the rejection bat The rejected editor,
without a doubt, will give them frequent
opportunities for extraordinary fielding.
The present grand jury is alleged to be
doing its best to live up to the record of its
predecessors in ignoring bills where the
evidence is clear. It remains to be seen
what measures of discipline the bench has
reserved for the present body. "
Hicks, of Oshkosh.'Wis., who has been
confirmed Minister to Peru, thinks that the
rejection of Murat Halstead by the Senate
was perfectly right and proper, because
Halstead is so outrageously outspoken in
his newspaper. Mr. Hicks being a news
paper man also, who was struck, by the acci
dent of nomination, and was confirmed
apparently on the ground that he never said
or did anything in his newspaper, is natur
ally under the impression that whatever the
Senate does is right But could there be
any more severe epitaph on this session of
the Senate than that it confirmed Hicks and
"With a yellow fever epidemic raging in
Brazil, the nomination of Minister to Bio
Janeiro assumes to Senator Bertie Adams
the aspect of a gift of the Greeks.
The information from New York City
that a train of palace cars, 'got up for the
traveling purposes of one of the branches of
the Vanderbilt race, left that city "on its
way to Oregon, Alaska and intermediate
points of interest," is calculated to create
an especial wbnder as to the route by which
the palace cars will reach Alaska. If it has
been discovered that cars can be taken
where.no tracks have been laid, a new and
unsuspected advance has been made in the
science of transportation.
It is with pleasure that the public is
enabled to notice the exceptional fact that
the State has at last won one tax suit against
a railroad corporation.
The report that Bobert Lincoln has ac
cepted the English mission, because he has
in view the Presidental nomination in 1892,
does not seem to be very well-fonnded.
Others beside Bobert Lincoln may be
thinking of the Presidental nomination in
1892; but going abroad to get it has not
proved a successful operation, even when
tried by men of heavier metal than the
estimable son of the "War President. -
BouLAHGEEEtiH cherishes the project
of overturning the French Government
from the secure but somewhat distant stand
point of Belgium.
It is reported from "West Virginia that
the Governor of that State was recently
kicked out of a grocery store. It should be
certified that this is only the de facto Gov
ernor. If all the Governors, claiming to be
the real article, were kicked out of grocery
stores, there would be a large demand for a
force of grocery clerks in that State.
Apeil makes a faint attempt to supply
the leonine characteristics in which the
lamb-like March was lacking. .'
Mb. Bradley, of Kentucky, has been
figuring on the cost of living and the price
of house rent in Cores, and decided that he
cannot accept the Corean mission. Never
theless, Mr. Bradley need not be cast down.
He can rest content with the fame of being
.the Kentucky Bepublican who has refused
A putt, showers may bring May flowers; but
April snowstorms are too apt to blossom into
pneumonia and rheumatism.
1 Hoir. Chaukcet M. Depetv is said to
have formed a strong friendship for the
mummy of Barneses IL This must be be
cause the mummy is such a good listener;
and although it may, be lacking in the
qualities of "applause" and "laughter,"
the obliging reporter can supply those
A Whale Story With a MornU
From the Chicago Hews. 2
"Washington has acquired a bottle-nosed por
poise, called by courtesy a whale, of which it is
very proud. It has been placed in the .National
Museum for bottle-nosed politicians to stare at
This singularly stupid beast came ashore on the
coast of New Jersey, so its melancholy fate will
not be very deeply regretted. Bottle noses and
stupidity are not to be tolerated when found
associating with each other.
From the X ew York Tribune. J
The Delaware law makers are considering a
bill to prevent runaway matches. The measure
may pass, bat love in Delaware, as elsewhere.
w111 continue to laugh at locksmiths, to euchre
'ternj - arents" to get around legal enact-
THE TOPICAL f ALKEE.
Sales of Grace A .Lawyers' Clap Mr
Censor Cute Children' Sayings.
To several correspondents the writer begs
to say that anonymous' letters Invariably go to
the waste bosket' Unread, apd that the "Mail
Poach," In an adjoining column, Is always open
to such writers as append theirnames and ad
dresses to their communications.
A WASHraaTON newspaperman writes me
that Colonel Richard J. 'Einton, the Socialist
and journalist, has sot' been appointed to an
office in the Department of Agriculture as was
stated a few days ago in this column, but to a
comfortable place in the Geological Bureau.
He will have the pleasing task of, looking after
irrigation, and bis experjenee as an engineer at
one time In his life will come Into service.
A club of lawyers has been talked of Several
times in the past but It has never got beyond
talk. A common fate of the lawyers' enterprises
a cynic might say. But the need for a club has
aerer been so great as it Is to-day. And every
day, as Pittsburg grows nearer the metropoli
tan, the need for a clnb will be felt by the barris
ters. Especially the younger men feel that
they could make a good deal of use of a good
club near the Court House.
The Daqnesne is too much an institution for
men of business and'men of money to be at
tractive to the average lawyer. Besides the
$160 entrance fee is a barrier to many who
would gladly pay a fair sum for club privi
leges. The Pittsburg Clttb is also out of the
question lor reasons that are known to every
body, and the Press) Club is hardly able to ac
cept many more legal members.
What is wanted is a club of first-class ar
rangements, located near the Court House,and
to which lawyers and secondarily professional
men shall be eligible.' There Is some talk of a
club of this sort being organized.
Whejt It wis snowing on Jb"riday evening a
boy of about 11 called at & house where a
cousin of his, a yound girl, was lying danger
ously ill, and though he was covered with mud
and snow, wanted to go straight to the sick
room just as he was. Naturally the mother of
the girl demurred; saying-that with the snow
all over him his presence at the "bedside of a
girl dangerously ill with pneumonia might be
The boy was very persistent He had a
piece of important news to tell his cousin, and
to tell her alone. After much cross-questioning
he said: ''Well, I was down at Jones' and
while I was there I heard Dr. B say consin
Mary conldn't live, and I thonght she ought to
know it at once. And I want to tell her."
The news shocked the family enough, but
the lively young messenger of death was not
allowed to deliver the doctor's decree. Hap
pily, likewise, the patient 13 going to live.
She's a censor as she sits
At my elbow In a rocker;
And my pencil as It flits
Trembles lest a Word should shock her.
For she's told me once or twice
With precision monumental:
"Do, no matter what the price.
Do be gentle!"
"Bnt It's easier, my dear.
To be cold and very cutting,"
I reply, but she'll not hear
bays she's hsd enongh of bnt-infr.
"Easy, sir!"' she says again,
"To break glass, but ohl you'll rue It!
For you'U easier damage do
So I promised to obey
Once before I fancy she did
Bnt well, that was yesterday,
Perjury In love's conceded
Tp the woman. I'm Hot sad
All life's pleasures haven't missed me
You'll concur, sir. when I add:
That she kissed met
"When a friend of mine moved into a new
house last week he found some parts of the
ceiling in the dining room to be in need of re
pair. New plaster was put into blemished por
tions of the ceiling, and when it dried of
coarse the renovated spots were very white by
contrast A little girl in the family strongly
objected to the peculiar appearance .of the
ceiling. The glaring white patches frightened
Sat now the novelty of the room has worn
oft, and the small girl, throwing herself into
the third person after the fashion of a child
who wants to lend dignity to a remark, said
yesterday: "Frances doesn't mind the plaster
now, but she's a little bit bashf all"
PEOPLE OF PE0MINENCE.
A Sistee of Stephen A. Douglass, almost 80
years old, is postmistress at Clifton Springs,
"Washer Miller begins to show signs of
his recent disappointments. His hair has grown
very gray of late.
Dartmouth College may have to get
along without a head for another year. Presi
dent Bartlett now in California, is thinking of
going to Japan.
Miss Kbareb, an Esquimau, is lecturing in
Philadelphia. She is only a little over three
feet in height She speaks English fairly well,
with a pecnliar guttural accent
Senator Vance is -resting quietly at his
home in Buncombe county, N. C. He is im
proving in health very rapidly. His remaining
eye is stronger than it has been for years.
The Senator is much astonished at the re
port which is going about that he is totally
John T. Holmes, of Baltimore, is the latest
caller who has given President Harrison a relic
of the William Henry Harrison Presidental
campaign. It is a handsome pitcher of gilded
china, bearing on one side a picture of W. H.
Harrison and on the other" a representation of
an old log cabin.
Prof. Davis Swing said the other day
that he understood that President Harrison
intended to make a journey to New York in
George Washington's carriage, "andl've been
wondering," continued the professor, "whether
this vehicle was the back which George took at
the famous cherry tree.''
General Stuart Van Vliet, XT. S. A, be
longs to as many clubs as any man In the
country. He is a member of the Philadelphia
Club, the Somerset of Boston, the Union and
Knickerbocker Clubs of New York, the Met
ropolitan of Washington, and of others In
minor cities from San Francisco to Portland,
The Rev. Dr. George E. Beed, who will soon
be President of Dickinson College, says: "A
young man who plays baseball or pulls a stroke
oar can preach as effectively as the man to
whom long hair and a graveyard face gives
a sacred look." From which It may be Inferred
that athletics will have a great boom in Dick
inson under the new president
Charles Fendrich, who died recently in
the San Francisco Almshouse, was once the
companion of Princes and statesmen. He
was born in Switzerland, became an artist and
after coming to this country made portraits of
many famous men. During his latter, years he
lived on next to nothing and picked up what he
could by retouching photographs.
Spring Styles In the Buckeye State.
From the Akronlelegram. J
The new spring bat is on deck. It looks as if
it might have been modeled after the race
track at Fountain Parkv with the Old Forge
district converted into a flower garden.
A Natural Inference.
Glasgow (Ky.) Times'.! '
. When 60,000 is offered and refused for a
single horse, there is a prevalent opinion that
the man who wants to bay a couple of large
sized jackasses need go npfarther.
DEATHS OP A DAI.
James I. Christie.
Washinqtoit, Atrll Wnes X Christie, act
ing assistant doorkeeper of the enate, died at
6: 15 o'clock tuis morning, at his residence In this
city. His desth adds another name to the long
list ot victims of Inauguration weather, for nlj
friends say that fromrtne cold contracted daring
the open air ceremonies of that day he never fully
recovered, and In hU weakened state succumbed
to the bad weather and hard work which charac
terized the last week or the Senate proceedings.
He was in attendance upon the Senate when It ad.
Jonrned sine die last Tuesday, although not feel
ing at all well, and took to his bed on the follow
ing day suffering from a congestion of the lungs,
which, being complicated with weakness of the
heart-led tools death this morning. His brother.
Frank Christie, hsd been summoned by telegraph
from Dover, H.H., and arrived here Thursday.
Ha was born in Mav. 1842. In Dover. N. IT., and
coming to Washington 28 years ago, was sn-
Solnteda page in theBenate, and has remained on
le floor in various capacities ever since.
HONORING THE DEAD JUSTICE.
The United States Bar Pays a Tribute to
Stanley Matthews' Memory.
Washington, April a. The meeting of the
Bar of the United States Supreme Court to-day
to take action upon the death Of the late Mr.
Justice Stanley Matthews, was interfered with
by'probably the worst storm of the season, and
and in consequence the attendance was small.
Among those present were Senators Edmunds
and Evarts, ex-Senator McDonald, General B.
D. Mussey, ei-Governor Hoadley, ex-Solicitor
General Goode, Solicitor General Jenka, Assist
ant Attorney General Maury, J. A. J. Cress
well, W. C. P. Breckinridge, George Ticknor
Curtis, W. S, Flippen, William Plnkney
Whyte, Judge Stevenson Burke and J. W.
Senator Evarts, Chairman of the preliminary
meeting held a few days ago, called the meet
ing to order, and Senator Edmunds, on the
committee appointed at that time, submitted
the following resolutions for consideration:
.Resolved. That the Bar of the Supreme
Court of the United States deeply deplores the de
cease of the late Mr. Justice .Matthews, whereby
the country has lostan alwajs patriotic and re
spected citizen, alike eminent In hlsbubllc and
private career, the Bar one of Its longtime lead
ers, conspicuous as an example of the best rela
tions of our profession with the administration of
Justice, and the court itself a member fitted by
character, temperament, learning and industry
to the place he held In the highest Judicial
tribunal of a great nation. His name Is rightly
enrolled among those honored by their country
men. Besolved, That the Bar presents to the family of
the departed Justice its sincere sympathy and
condolence in their bereavement.
Beolved, That the Attorney General be re-
? nested to present these resolutions to the Court
or such consideration asmay be fit.
Kesolved, that the Chairman be requested to
transmits copy hereorto Mrs. Matthews.
Senator Edmunds spoke at some length in
supporting a motion to adopt these resolutions.
He paid a glowing tribute to the dead Justice's
conduct in his political, professional and pri
vate life. Addresses were also made by ex
Governor Hoadly, General R. D. Mussey. W.
D. Flippen, W. C. Breckinridge, ex-Senator
McDonald and Senator Evarts. The resolu
tions were adopted and the meeting adjourned.
TflBX WANT TO .FLU.
Hoosler Immigrants Beady to Start for
Oklnboma by Balloon.
Tqpeka, April 6. Among the manv Deonle
awaiting the signal to enter the Oklahoma
country are four Hoosiers, who are encamped
near Antelope Hills. They have a balloon, in
which upon the day of promise they will ascend
in fhe morning, drift in midair until noon, the
designated hour for the opening of the Terri
tory, and then descend, hoars in advance of
even the fastest teams.
The members of the State Board of Bailroad
Assessors, just returned from atrip through
Oklahoma, report army officers as saying that
thousands of boomers are still concealed in the
brush and that if the whole United States army
was there it could not drive them out Names
are taken, but nine out of ten are fictitious.
Captain Woodson and Lieutenant Carson are in
receipt of telegrams dally to hire horses, have
them saddled and bridled and In waiting on the
arrival of trains at Oklahoma City, April 22, at
noon. The object is to mountat once and by
fleet steeds distance rival boomers on foot and
capture choice claims.
State officlalsanticipate trouble and say the
country will be an El Dorado for good land
office lawyers. The excitement is Increasing
dally and all Southern Kansas is ablaze. The
assessors think that Oklahoma is not what it
has been painted. The soil is red and the land
is good chiefly for hay and cotton. Oklahoma
was surveyed some years ago, but the corners
are nearly all obliterated now.
Settlers taking claims will And it difficult to
describe the same when they go to the land
office to make a filing, and this will give rise to
innumerable contests. More will grow out of
the filings by boomers; who stayed in the coun
try against the President's orders, and will
come out of the timber April 22 and file any
way. Contests settled at first by Winchesters
will afterward have to be settled again in the
courts. Taue outlook for the country and all
the boomers is not Arcadian by any means.
Washington Critic: An open question
Where's the corkscrew T s
Baltimore American: Will the 899 follow
Ward McAllister's lead and resign, too?
Hutchinson News: Pocket ballots, like
pocket gophers, are apt to ba undermining.
Arkansas Democrat: The average United
-States Senator is a poor match for a man with
a big newspaper.
Atlanta Constitution: The freedom of
Edinburgh has been tendered to Mr. Parnell;
bat what he-wants is the freedom of his native
Utica Observer: There seems to be an Im
pression in New York that George Washington
was the Father of only 400 of his Countrymen.
Baltimore American: A whale from At
lantic City is to be sent to Washington. It will
not be lonely Washington just now is full of
Louisville Courier Journal: Mr. Harrison
has gracefully punctuated the name of Post
master Orlando B. Happy by placing the comma
Philadelphia Ledger: Prof. Barnard,
when a little short, just goes out and finds a
comet and with it 100. The big Lick tele
scope places blm beyond competition, so to
speak, from other astronomers, but his activity
in this field will overstock the market and quo
tations on comets will inevitably drop.
Washington fost: We have no ulterior
purpose in stepping out before this great
American people in the posture of an alarmist
but we can't help thinking what a dreadful
thing it would be if Somebody shonld happen
to find the United States Senate in secret ses
sion some day, and slip up and bolt the doors
on the outside.
THE SNAIE LIAE WAKES UP,
And Relates a Story That Would Blake
Albany, Ga., April 6. Two young men
drove out to a pond upon the. farm of Major
W. P. Burks, near Albany, the other day. They
had gone on a fishing frolic To their aston
ishment they fonnd the pond alive with mocca
sins. They were sporting in the water and
running in and out upon the banks. In the
spring their fancy had doubtless turned to
thoughts of love, for they were apparently
mating. They all were in pairs. Those that
they supposed to be of. the masculine gender
were small, saucy looking black fellows.
By the side of each of these slender snakes
was a great serpent as large as a man's arm and
nearly 3 feet long. These were spotted or
striped with black similar to the markings
upon a rattlesnake.
Intelligence That Travels Qnlckly.
From the Bprlngfleld Republic
Scientists estimate that "it takes abont two
fifths of a second to call to mind the country
in which a well-known town is situated, or7 the
language In which a familiar author wrote."
It takes the information that a man has been
appointed postmaster about the one-thousandth
part of a second to reach his brain if
he has any, which isn't always certain.
OUR TWO OPINIONS.
Us two wuz boys when we fell out
Mgh to the age uv my youngest now;
Don't reelect what 'twus about,
Some small dlff'rence, I'll allow.
Lived next neighbors twenty years,
A-hatln' each other, me 'nd Jim
He havin1 his oplnyln uv me
Nd 1 havin' my oplnyln uv him.
Grew up together 'nd wouldn't speak.
Courted Bisters, 'nd marr'd 'em, too;
'Tended same meetln' house oncet a week,
A-hatln' each other, through 'nd throughl
But when Abe Llnkern asked the West
F'r soldiers we answered me 'nd Jim
Be havin' his oplnyln uv me
Md I havm' my oplnyln uv hlml
But down In Tennessee one night
Tner wuz sound nv flriu' fur away,
'.Nd the sergeant allowed ther'd be a fight
-With the Johnnie Bebs some time nex' day;
Nd as I wuz thlnkln' nv Lizzie 'nd home
Jim stood afore me, long 'nd slim
He havin' bis oplnyln liv me
Nd 1 bavin' my oplnyln uv Mm I
Seemed like we knew there wuz goln' to ba
Serious trouble fr me 'nd him
Tjs two shuck hands, did Jim 'nd me,
But never a word from me or Jlmt
He went his way nd I went mine,
Nd lntp the battle's roar went we
I bavin' my oplnyln uv Jim
N d be bavin' his oplnyln n V me I
Jim never come back from the war again,
- But Ihalnt forgot that last, last night
When, waltln' fr orders, us two men
Made up 'nd shuck hands, afore the fight;
'Nd. after It all. It's sootbln' to know
That here I be 'nd yonder's Jim
He havin' his oplnyln uv me
Nd I havin' my oplnyln up him!
y wticwfB neiOM, i uauumujj ud iut uaiub ut iw i ui mm- -i 1 .Hat,i i&zkamemmKF .,
POWER IS POLITICS. v
Shrewd Party Management In the State
Legislature The Luring Oat of Mr.
DIacee, and Why Be "Was Jumped on so
Hard Washington Expected to Hear
tFEOlt A 8TAJT CORBIRFONDENT.1
Haehisbubg, April 6, There is no mistak
ing the victory won by Messrs. Andrews and
Delamater over Mr. Magee on Friday. The
vote was so nearly unanimous that, the future
Governor and the State Chairman fairly
beamed after it was all over. It was a great
display of porter! and the preliminary dress
parade of the Philadelphia leaders and a num
ber of their most influential following was
hardly less interesting than the determined
manner in which Mr. Magee was jumped on
after he had laid down and confessed himself
beaten. It was a marvelous display of strength,
and a remarkable exhibition of the bitter feel
ing between the Quay leaders and the Pitts
burg chieftain. But this was not all of it
Mr. McManes, Mr. Leeds and Mr. Lane
were all present from Philadelphia the day be
fore the vote was taken to see that such of the
legislators as they could control were training
on the right side. Martin, Mercantile Ap
praiser of Philadelphia, Mr. Quay's especial
Jieutenaut in the Quaker City, two of the City
Commissioners, the Mayor's clerk and a con
tractor or two formed the rest of the conting
ent. Beside there were men here from various
counties laboring with members on the quiet
All of them were present ostensibly on other
business entirely, but the remarkable feature
of the whole matter was their opposition to
Senate bill No. TO.
The Bone of Contention.
Mr. Magee's principal weakness lay in the
fact that the measnre he advocated was not
one In any degree calculated to arouse popular
enthusiasm, while on the other band it gave
the opposition an opportunity to make a great
many representations that were not lost sight
of in the circular distributed among the mem
bers by ex-Speaker Long. But the merits and
demerits of the bill were almost entirely lost
sight of early in the fight The measure was
merely an excuse for It trial of political
strength. The result Is before the public in
the vote on Mr. Graham's motion to in
definitely postpone consideration of Mr. Laf
A More Successlul Effort.
Mr. Capp, of Lebanon, had a different ex
perience. Three weeks ago the necessitr for
a street railway incorporation Jblll was pointed
out In the Dispatch, in connection with the
statement that Mr. Quay had given orders that
all street railway legislation be killed. It was
shown in the same connection that the neces
sity, which is a vital one in many of the third
class cities, furnished the opportunity for Mr.
Magee or some of his friends to make a fight
that would at least jar Mr. Quay's power. Mr.
Magee's friends did not take advantage of it
but Mr. Capp, on the Tuesday following the
publication, did and, won his fight He ob
tained a large majority on his motion to sus
pend the rules for the purpose of placing the
bill on the calendar. He needed a two-thirds
-vote at the timd, and his motion did not prevail.
But on Flidav a majority of a quorum wonld
have been sufficient, and Mr. Capp's claim that
he would have It at that time was recognized
in a compromise by which the test of strength
was avoided, and a satisfactory street railway
Incorporation bill promised him and his sup
Politics In Legislation.
Since Chairman Keyser, of the Street Bail
way's Committee of the House, moved the re
committal of one of the street railway Incor
poration bills,in accordance with promises made
to Mr. Capp, Mr. Magee has made his fight and
suffered defeat If Mr. Magee had not waxed
belligerent another step toward redeeming the
promise made to Mr. Capp would probably
have been taken ere this in the shape of the
favorable report of the bill from committee.
It has been stated from time to time as a reason
for the delay that various amendments were
under consideration, and that it was deter
mined to make the bill as perfect as possible
before reportingit Beyond question there was a
great deal of truth in the statements. But
kewise beyond question the gentlemen who
desire this legislation wese less likely to stray
into the Magee fold while the bill was yet the
property of the committee than if it was before
me nuuse. Aaoioer peculiar circumstance is
that Mr. Fow, a Democrat secured a special
order for his liquor license transfer bill just
after Mr. Magee had been jumped on, while
Mr. Brooks, who has hitherto opposed all tam
pering with the high license law, never said a
word. And among those who jumped on Mr.
Magee on Friday morning none jumped with
more vigor and abandon than Mr. Brooks. The
reoommendation by the Appropriations Com
mittee last week of $27,000 f or,tno purchase of
the Willltm Penn farm in Bucks county, also
brought the Democratic delegation from that
district into line with Mr. Andrews. These are
only some of the straws showing the kind of a
rock-ribbed circumstance with which Mr.
After the Smoke.
Mr. Magee is supposed to be buried out of
sight Nevertheless, he Is not entirely disposed
of. All who voted against him are not his ene
mies. A large number who voted with Mr.
Andrews did not vote so much for him as for
their temporary self-interest. If their self
interest could have been- served by voting for
Mr. Magee they would have voted that way.
The victory was won by using the party whip
where it could be used with effect and by mak
ing promises where it could not be used. In
other words, it was a victory over the head
and not over tne heart Bat hearts don't figure
much in politics, and a3 an exhibition of
shrewd party management and manipulation
it is one of the finest on record.
There is some question though as to whether
the thing was not carried too far. Even thick-and-thin
followers of Mr. Quay have been
heard to remark that it was rubbing it in a trifle
too hard and that Mr. Laffertv's confession
ot defeat should have contented Messrs. Dela
mater and Anarews. With this feeling abroad
among their own friends It is not surprising
that those who at heart are unfriendly to them
shonld have a warmer regard for Mr. Magee
after helping to defeat him than they had De
fore. Consequently Mr. Magee is not so
thoroughly out of politics as may at first glance
appear. Besides there are those who voted
against him who did not fully make up their
minds to do so until he had confessed defeat.
when they thought it advisable to get in out of
S ft ft ft
Tho Milk In the Coconnut.
Jumping on Mr. Magee so severely as to cre
ate sympathy for him atftlrst glance looks like
bad politics. Undoubtedly both Chairman
Andrews and Senator Delamater enjoyed do
ing it But they had weightier reasons than the
mere pleasure it afforded them. Had there
been nothing in it but enjoyment they might
have considered magnaminity much the
better policy as well as the wiser course.
. But an impression that necCed correction had
gone abroad, growing ont of tho Capp compro
mise in the House and the virtual defeat in the
Senate of the resolution to adjourn on April
25. That Impression was that -Mr. Quay was
losing his grip on the Pennsylvania Legislat
ure. It would never do, for reasons that will
immediately present themselves, to permit
such a belief to gam ground at Washington.
It was felt to be no time for a display of mag
nanimity, and none was shown. The powers
at Washington are duly notified that Mr. Quay
still owns the State of Pennsylvania and they
will be expected to act accordingly.
Mr. Qnny'a Problem.
One.very interesting point to remember Is
that Matthew Stanley Quay's power in Penn
sylvania politics has been shown at its full. Its
retention is now the particular thing to ocenpy
his mind, and it is a mind that has worked on
seemingly greater problems. Simpson.
MAKING. MEAL OP M0NE)T.
Silver Coin Gets In the Hopper and Stops a
Albany, Ga., April 6. Over in Lee county
the other day, at Sam Hawkins' mill, the
machinery suddenly stopped. Something bad
fallen intd the hopper and shut down the
whole concern. Warren Baxter, a negro who
was attending ,to the corn grinding, put his
hand down beneath the upper stone, which he
removed for the purpose, and to his astonish
ment fonnd a lot of silver coin, which had been
the cause of the. trouble. There were some
five or six pieces ranging from a dime to a half
dollar. He was very much surprised to dis
cover it and could not imagine where It could
have come from. ,
When he went to depart he placed his hand
in his pocket and discovered" that it was his
own money. While shoveling the com in the
sacks tl 75 had fallen into it, and been ground
into unrecognizable shaoe by the great stones.
He brought the mutilate'd pieces to town, and
an enterprising jeweler secured it for SO cents.
The Need of the Times.
From the St. Paul Globe 1
Homes for old soldiers are all right andre
reats for Inebriates are useful, but the great
need of the time is an asylum for disappointed
office seekers. Bat then there couldn't be
room for half the Republican party.
Cold Comfort for Consumers.
From the Boston Herald. J
The biggest thing oa Ice this summer will
probably be the price of It
GOSSIP OF THE METROPOLIS.
Mr. Grover Cleveland's Return,
Inew Tons BtraiAV- specials. J
New Yoek, April 8L A little knot of friends
welcomed Mr. Grover Cleveland as be stepped
alone from the Pullman car "Wanderer," in
Jersey City, at 6.30 o'clock this morning. Mrs.
Cleveland was not one of them. Mr. Cleve
land's partner, Mr. Stetson, accompanied him
to the Victoria Hotel and took breakfast with
him. Shortly after breakfast Mr. Cleveland
went to his office, where he worked hard all the
morning, declining to see reporters. Ex-Secretaries
Bayard. Dickinson and "Vilas, who left
Jacksonville with Mr. Cleveland last Thursday,
bade him good-bye In Washington last mid
nlgnt Mr. Cleveland Is somewhat browner
and a bit less corpulent than when he began
Ashing some days ago.
A Pretty German Bride In JnlL
Wilhelmina Krings, 19 rears old, made a big
stir at Castle Garden last August because she
was considered the prettiest German girl who
had ever come over In the steerage. Three
weeks ago she married John Dejon. a prosper
ous baker. To-day she is in jail. Sixty-five
pairs of trousers are the cause of her trouble,
ifour weeks ago she agreed with a clothing
house to have the trousers done In three weeks,
.but the excitement of a fortnight's courtship
and marriage and Incipient housekeeping led
her to neglect the trousers and to forget to tell
the firm for which she worked that she had
moved her home to Dejon's bakery. The
clothiers thought she wanted to steal their
trousers, and bad her arrested. Mr. Dejon has
lingered around the police station almost con
stantly during the 16 hours of her incarcera
tion, and the whole Dejon family are threaten
ing the bride's employers with legal proceed
ings for false arrest
The Drift Toward tho Paris Expo.
M. Coquelin, the actor, his son and 13 mem
bers of his troupe, sailed for Europe to-day on
the steamship La Bourgogne. General Will
iam B. Frankllnaand Soraervillo B. Tuck,
United States Commissioners, who will have
general supervision of the American depart
ment at the Paris Exposition, and Prof. Spen
cer EL Newberry, of Cornell University, in
charge of the American Mining and Forestry
department at the exposition, also sailed for
Paris to-day. La Bourgogne carried a consign
ment of exhibits for the exposition.
Thirteen Weeks on Strike.
The thirteenth week of the Higgins Carpet
Company strike closed to-day. Both sides are
apparently as firm as when the lockout began.
A week ago about 500 of the strikers found
work in other mills, and since then about 100
have found employment A big entertainment
for the benefit of the strikers will be given by
40 artists at the Star Theater on Easter Sun
day. A Jail Bird Again la the Tolls.
John GUI, who has been making bad silver
dollars off and on for the last 15 years, was up
in a Jersey City court for counterfeiting to-day.
Last fall New York was flooded with spurious
coin of the most clever manufacture. Gill was
arrested this morning on the charge of leading
the gang that put this bad money in circula
tion. He was remanded to wait the arrival of
Secret Service agents,who have conclusive evi
dence against him. Gill has served two terms
in Sing Sing and one tend in Auburn prison.
Evaded the Law's Grasp a Long Time.
Henry H. Marshall, formerly postmaster at
St Clair, Schuylkill countv, Pa., was arrested
In the Bowery for embezzling 31,600 from the
money order department of the St. Clair post
office some time ago. The United States au
thorities have been looking for him for a long
time. Marshall has been living in this city for
the last eight months nnder an assutfled name.
He admitted his identity before United States
Commissioner Shields to-day, and was taken to
Philadelphia this afternoon.
HADE B1CH BI MOLASSES.
How a Colored Woman Paid for a Farm
br Selling Cakes.
Onancock, Va., April 6. Maria Bivins, a
well-known colored woman residing near this
town, is dead. She was 56 years old, and for
more than 30 years she has been engaged in
maklngand selling molasses cakes, from which
she accumulated a comfortable little fortune.
Both she and her husband werebom in slavery,
as were sevei al of their children. She had ac
cumulated enough money before the war, to
pnrchase the liberty of herself and husband,
and during the war she made enough money
out of the Federal soldiers quartered here to
purchase her children.
After the war she bought a farm near this
town, on which she employed her husband,
paying him 75 cents a day during the springand
summer months, and 60 cents during the win
ter. She used two barrels of flour every month
in the manufacture of cakes, always making
3,600 cakes ont of each barrel. During the
long period she was engaged in this business, it
was estimated she had made nearly 4,000,000 of
cakes. She was an honest Industrious woman,
and enjoyed the respect of all who knew her.
THE. L0IAL LEGION Ef LIKE.
It Will Hold Ita Sixth Qnndrennlal Congress
During the Week.
Cincinnati, April 6. The sixth quadrennial
congress of the military order of the Loyal
Legion of the United States begins its session
here on Wednesday, April 10. It is composed
of the Commander In Chief, ex-President It! B.
Hayes: the Recorder in Chief, Lieutenant Col
onel John P. Nicholson, of Philadelphia, and
three delegates from each of the eighteen State
commanderies. As the sixth annual dinner of
the Ohio Commandery is given on that evening
the members of the Congress will be guests of
the Ohio Commandery.
Members will be present from California,
Oregon. Pennsylvania, New York Miue,
Massachusetts, Wisconsin. Illinois, Ohio,
Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska,
Kansas. Iowa, Colorado, Indiana and the Dis
trict of Columbia.
The Power Behind the Throne.
From the Chicago Herald.
Mr. Harrison was nearly an hour late at a
White House reception the other afternoon,
and the 200 or 300, people in attendance were
unable to account for the unusual- delay. It is
said to have been caused by Baby McKee, who
had a little crying spell, and would bo consoled
by no one but his grandfather. If any one ex
cept the President himself is running this ad
ministration it is not Blaine;. it is Baby
What Boalanger Shonld Do,
From the Steubenville Herald.
Boulanger is in Belgium considering what he
will do next He had better behave himself.
Celesttne, a beautiful crystalline mineral
used in making fire works, Is found in the rocks
of Bellwood, Blair county.
Baebeb Stedge was voted a Turkish smok
ing pipe 7 feet long and wholly of glass as the
homeliest man at a Bradford entertainment
A sen of polecats was found under a culvert
in Heathvllle, Jefferson county, and the
officers got dynamite and blew up the whole
Jacob Slangenvatte, hunting near Mon
tonrsville, shot an English heron, the firstone
ever seen there. It was S feet tall, and the
thick feathers were of a bluish tint
Mb. Rhodes, of Elk county, felt an unusual
glow in his hip, and, lookipg down, fonnd that
his pocket was a thing of the past an excursion
train cinder having softly nestled in it
A little boy. too young to know where he
lived, tearfully told a Norristpwn officer that
his name was Charles Wright and that he was
out hunting meat for his dog. He had the
meat clutched tightly in his fist as' he was led
E. B. Mtllioan, of Westmoreland county,
caught a young crow last summer, which be
came tame. In September it left for the South
A week or so ago it came back as tame at be
fore, flew down off a tree, and did its best to
The prisoners in Smethport jail a few days
since, as a joke, told one of their number, J. W.
Snyder, of Bradford, that he had swallowed a
deadly poison. The fright so sickened him that
the Jailer believes be would have died If he had
not been assured that the fluid was harmless.
AN absent-minded Willlamsport man in want
of a smoke, finding the pavement too wet to
light a match on, drew a silver dollar from his
pocket, used it for the purpose, then threw It
away and put the burnt match In bis pocket
He rose with the lark nex morning to hunt
the coin, but some early bird had bees ahead,
of him, ' -i
Another wave motor, the invention of
a Lynn (Mass.) man, is reported to have been
A Swiss named Polelfi, of Santa Claris,
CaL, slept 'constantly for 25 days. When he
woke up he was crazy.
The total cost of the Paris Exposition
is expected to be 510,000,000. The Government
contributes the greater part and the city of
Paris most of the rest
At the recent London diocesan confer
ence the Bishop of Bedford advocated card
playing in workingmen's -clubs, but rather
strangely disapproved of dominoes.
A Texan woman, known simply as
Widow Callahan, owns 60,000 sheep.and is one
of the largest stock owners In this country.
There are many Texans who just hate to see
her retain her distinguishing title.
They have careful housekeepers down
East A family in Hope, Me., has been keeping
house for 13 years and never broke a lamp
chimney until last week. It was another in
stance of ill-luck following the number I3.v '-
Some Washington ladies Adopted an
original method of making their pastor a dona
tion on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his in
stallation. They gave him a bouquet of 26
large lilies, and in each lily was a $5 gold piece.
Ceylon people are interested in a rivalry
as to who shall find the highest palm tree. An
English railroad builder named Cantrell made
the first record at 110 feet, bat Mr. Paton-Cray
has just shown a palm 117 feet high, and takes
A church in Southern' Illinois 19 about
to have a fair in which one of the features win
be the pigs in clover with real pigs. A large
fac-simileof the toy will be Built intbehaU
and a prize will be given to the man who pens
Burglars have broken into the historical
rooms at the old State House at New Haven
and stolen a sword presented to Admiral
Foote by the citizens of Brooklyn, and valued
at 53,500. The sword was of elaborate design
and inlaid with jewels.
Kinchen Jefferson, an old negro who
carried a wagon load of dirt and mica to Fort
Valley, Gx, supposing the same to be gold, is
now wild over his mine. He imagines that it
is worth millions. He claims that in a dream
It was revealed to him where to find much gold,
and he found it
A man, while eating lettuce in a Bos
ton restaurant came upon a piece of gravel so
suddenly that it snapped a tooth off. He sued
the proprietor of the restaurant for $500 dam
ages. The Judge gave the case to the jury.
The latter found ont what an entire set of new
false teeth would cost and made that the
figures of their award.
A sea cow, captured in the St. Lucie
river, Florida, is now on exhibition at Thomas
vflle. Ga. It is ten feet long and weighs 1000
pounds. Its tall is 20 inches across. A seine
300 feet long, made of Inch rope, was used in
catching it This is a very small cow. They
grow from 15 to 21 feet long, and tp weigh from
10,000 to 50,000 pounds. They are very power
ful, and often break the strong rope of the '
seine like spool cotton thread.
The members of the Salvation Army at
Goshen, Ind., are indulging the remarkable
freaks. One of the recent cenrerts went into a
trance and threw herself against a hot stove,
the skin being burned oft her hands and arms.
Strange orgies take place nightly. Members
of the band fall to the floor, use on their arms
and remain for hours perfectly rigid. The lady
Captain of the band is said to exercise mes
meric Influence over her followers.
Fred. L. Ames,. the millionaire capital
ist, has at North Boston the finest and most
elaborate conservatory In the United States,
and it Is devoted almost exclusively to the cul
tivation of tropical plants. -The new orchid
house was completed recently and on Tuesday
It was inspected by the members of the Massa
chusetts Horticultural Society. Mr. Ames'
collection of orchids is believed to be unsur
passed in this country, there being upward of
A citizen of Xenia, O., had the family
horse dipped, and then told his wife and
daughter that he had traded off the faithful
animal. Both were astounded, and began im
mediately to criticize the new one. "How ugly
his color is," said one of tbem. "What an un
gainly shape, too," remarked the other, "And
see how wild and restless he acts," said the
mother, who always doted on the gentleness of
the old horse. In this wav thev dissected the
new horse for quite a while, and when told the
truth could hardly refrain from apologizing to
the old horse they had so slandered.
Here is a story told as a solemn fact:
"Ladles and gentlemen." said the manager of a
Boston theater, coming in front of the curtain
at the end of the fourth act "we have just dis
covered the cause of the stifling temperature
from which yon have all doubtless been suffer
ing. The house has been on fire for nearly half
an hour. In assuring you of my regret at the
occurrence and the unavoidable necessity of
bringing the performance to a close, yon will
Eermlt me to express my heartfelt joy that we
ave succeeded at last in thoroughly warming
up a Boston audience."
.Belief in voodooism has not yet died
out from among the colored brethren. In
Macon, Ga-, there is an educated negro who,
when he grew ill, consulted a- woman with
some reputation for cures. She gave him med
icine and cuffed him, and then drew from his
side live frogs and worms and bugs. He there
fore began to make a mental survey of bis
friends to see if be possessed an enemy, and,
finding that he did,knew then and there that it
washe and no other who had putpowderedfrog3
and snakes' heads into his whiskey. The en
chantress keeps herself In seclusion and none
of her patients are willing to betray her where
abouts. A rather curious episode in natural
history occurred on board the French steam
boat Abd-el-Kader daring the passage from
Marseilles to Algiers. Just as ths vessel was
about two hours ont the sky became quite
black with swallows. It was then about 6
o'clock in the evening. The birds alighted in
thousands on the salts, ropes and yards of the
Abd-el-Kader. After a perky survey of the
deck from their eminences aloft they de
scended coolly on deck, bopped about among
the sailors and passengers, and eventually
found their way into the cabins, both fore and
aft The birds were evidently fatigued after a
long flight and allowed themselves to be caught
by the people of the ship, who gajre them a
welcome reception and provided them with
food, which they enjoyed heartily. The little
winged strangers remained all night on the
vessel, and in the morning at 7 o'clock the
whole flock made for land.
An Irish whisky trust been formed.
How long will it last? Is now the Irish question.
Jftio Tent World.
A Boston paper speaks about a vacancy
ln the Senate, but does not give the Senator's
name. Muntty's Weekly.
The smile is the same in all languages.
OK Ctty Dtrrlc. In certain srctlobs of Kentucky
it Is Interpreted ss "whisky straight." Inter
How long will our American girls con
tinue to count on counts who don't count? There
is a countless list of dupes already. New York
It Was Not There. "Can you tell me
where I can find 'Blenzt's Address ?" asked a.
young lady of a clerk In a Brooklyn bookstore.
"Have you looked in the directory?" he replied.
Bella Don't I look like a perfect fright
in my new sacque, though?
Clara (absent mlndedly) Yes.
Bella-Ton mean thing I I'll never speak to yoa
again as long as 1 lUe.-Burllngton Fret Press.
It Depended on His Influence. Ardent
suitor (to Kansas young woman Miss Grade,
may I hope that
Miss Grade (candidate for Alderman)-JIr.
Chugwater, befpre proceeding any further will
yon please tell me how many votes yoa control In
the Second ward? Chicago Tribune.
' He Had Watched His Parent Bobby
(whose father is a grocer) Look, pa, what I got
for my birthday a regular little grocery store. '
HU Father (lndulgently-Ob, yes; that's very,
Bobby Ain't, it thought Little places for coffsej
and sugar and spice, and I say, though, pa, there
ain't no sand drawer. Harper's Jlazar.
Consolation for Missionaries. Mr. Jason
A nice fool yoa made of yourself at that sociable
Mrs. Jason Me? How? " '
Mr. Jason ices, you. Telling Mrs. ChaTJy that
her baby looked good enough to eat.
Mrs. Jason--Well, what's the matter with 1 that?
Mr. Jason Oh, nothing, only yoa know that
they start as missionaries to the Cannibal Islands
next week. Ton) Haute Express. -
Conclusive Proof. Carboy Mr. Pipes,
I believe there is gas escaping in my house. What
shall 1 do to prove It? I
Pipes (the plumber) Why don't you take a
match and test the Joints. ,.-
Carboy (la alarm) Bat it might xplode,1aad
blow me up I "jLjii
Pines (eooly) Well, yon wouldn't .wanFisT
better proof than that, wouldyyouTJra'
1 "?:'. ai . J. , ' & 'fca- Jt !?. r ' . . . Ht( . . tfMn..KAn. mm