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SiWHLH Try r 4 THE PjTTTSBTJRG DISPATCH, SATURDAY; JUNE 25, 189a Q3&0 A LETTER FROM A QUEEN ' TO-MOIGFS DISPATCH. Charming Carmen Sylva writes or Kou- mania and Its people. ITOLLIAH D. HOWELIS Talks to T. C. Crawford on the secrets of literary art. HARRISON'S AMBITION; New light thrown upon it in a letter from Carpenter. ADVENTURE IN LUZON From the pen of John BaDe, D. D. S., now in the Pliillipines. OTHER BRIGHT FEATURES ARE: The31oons of Mars And the preparations to obserre them all over the world in August. Irish Hunting Tales From Ed Mott, who Is now In the wilds about Roulette, Pa. Riding on Passes And the system adopted by the railroads humorously described by Bob Burdette. An Aladdin's Cave Is suggested by a description , of the finest bachelor apartments in America. The rood ol Genius Is the text from which Bessie Bramble sings of Germany's beer and pretzels. Uncle Sam's Show As decided on this week in Washington willbe an imposing feature of the World's Fair. Fact ofthc Trfnity Is the subject of Rev. George Hodges' sermon: treated with exceptional bril liancy. The Last Signal, Dora Russell's story, is far ahead of any thing in the story lino now being offered. Latest in Science, Being new applications of electric and other principles to every day economics. Elaborate preparations for gathering all the news from TnE SUMMER RESORTS. Leading sporting paper, both in professional and amateur lines. THE BEST NEWSPAPER. READ TO-MORROWS DlSPATCE 49-$$&$$S-Q&&4$. O0 fl B$pfrj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1846 Vol. 17, So. HI Entered at Pittsburg Postoffice oYerobcr. JSST, as second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smithfield and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 78 and So Diamond Street, in New Dispatch Building. rATT.RV AnVTRTISINB OFFICE, P.OOM 78. TninrSEBUII.IMXO. NEW YOItK. where com plete files ofTIlE DISPATCH can always he found. Foreign advertisers appreciate the convenience. Home advertisers and friends of THE DISPATCH, hllelu'ew York, are also made welcome. THE DISPA TCITis renvlarly em talent Hrrntnnt't. f rtilon Sgvare, Seui 3rk, and 17 Ave dePOprra. raris. Prance. ichre anyone whn has been disap pointed at a Itotel news stand can obtain it. TEKMS Or THE DISPATCH. rOSTAGE FKEE IN TnE UKITED STATES. HILT DisrATCn, One Year t s tt Dailt Dispatch Per Quarter 2 to I) ailt Dispatch. One Month TO Dailt Dispatch, inclndlng Sunday. 1 year.. 10 00 Datlt DispATcn, IncludlngSundav, Sm'ths, S0 Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, 1 m'th.. 90 Fckdat Dispatch. One Year 150 WeekltDispatcij, One Year 1 15 The Daily DlSPATcn is delivered by carriers at 35 cents per week, or, including bunday Edition, at IC cents per week. PITTsBCRi;. SATCKDAY. JONES5. ISSi TWELVE PAGES THE ISSUE OF THE HOUR. In a letter from an English firm of manufacturers to Mr. Henry TV. Hartman, the iron and steel maker of Beaver Falls and Eilwood, a very strikins statement is made. The Englishmen say: The American branch of the works will not bebuilt this season. 'Xliey will await the result of your elections, as well as several other proposed American factories. If the Democrats elect the President we will keep all these good things at home. Xo American could more graphically describe the issue on which the national campaign will be fought than does this off-hand paragraph in a private business letter. It cannot be charged that this flat-footed expression of intention was brought forth by any political machine or written for any political purpose. It is a simple business proposition, Simply stated. It means that if the Democratic party triumphs, English manufacturers will have their work done at borne at such prices for labor as are current in the United Kingdom. To England, Cleveland is the prophet of English prosperity. His victory is an English victory, his theories are English theories, his benefit is English benefit. Slop for a moment and consider what this means, not to Pittsburg, not to Pennsyl vania alone, but to every hand tjiat wields the implements for the fashioning of metals in this country! With Republican success comes the transplanting of the industrial establish ments of other lands to these shores, here to assume new conditions, to meet new re quirements, to pay a new standard of hire. With Democratic doctrines paramount, this all changes, and we not only lose such accessions but most of what we had before as well. Free trade is a blunder, a Democratic blunder, a blunder which figures in the American calendar as a crime. A CENSUS DISCLOSURE. Some explorer in the wilds of census statistics has made an alarming discovery. It is nothing more nor less than a threat ened shortage in the supply of women. We have heretofore been accustomed to believe that while women were scarce and much sought after in the West they were superabundant in the East Bat the present census tells a different tale; and, worse than all, the deficiency strikes us near home. jot only are there 881,000 more males than females in the United States, but in Pennsylvania, the State pledged to home industries, the same pre ponderance is shown to the extent of 74, 000 more men than women. The news that the visible supply of women is decreasing is exceedingly dis turbing. Everyone will concede the ne cessity of woman and endorse the declara tion of her traditional eulogist that "as a mother she is unsurpassed; as a wet nurse she is without equal among men." If thjs prime necessity for the nurture of future generations is diminishing at the rate of one and one-half per cent for each decade which proportionate decrease, is dis closed by comparing the census of Penn sylvania in 1890 and 1880 the prospect is gloomy for posterity. Of course the disclosure will make -us prize women mpre highly than ever, if that is possible. We have understo od for some time that certain types of women, such as prime donnc, ladies of fashion, domestic help and first-class heads of families were scarce and naturally costly. The same appraisement must now be ex tended to female clerks, workers and school teachers. What can more thor oughlyVecognize pater familias to the bill for the summer outfit or the fall campaign than the knowledge that in the females of his family he is the possessor of what is growing rare and consequently more costly with each decade. . These are the mitigations of the disco ve ry, and yet they are wholly insufficient when we contemplate the difficulties that must arise if the softer sex should continue to diminish in this proportion. The only real consolation is that which has already served several ambitious municipalities, namely, to take refuge in the unreliability of the last census. A FOOLISH PROPOSITION. A remarkably radical and unconstitution al suggestion is made by a city cotemporary to provide the President with power to legislate in accordance with the platform adopted at his nomination by the party electing him. The strange proposition is made as follows: "The rule of the people will be incom plete until political parties are compelled to add to their platforms a plank like this: As a guarantee of the fulfillment of these pledges, we demand that Congress shall clothe the President with authority to in troduce and manage in both Houses of Congress all measures of legislation called for by this declaration of party principles." Such action on the part of "Congress is altogether beyond the power of that body as defined by the Constitution. If by any chance it could be given the necessary power by amendments to the Constitution, the result would be disastrously revolu tionary. The balance between the Execu tive and the legislative authorities the maintenance of which was the leading thought of the framers of the Constitu tion would be entirely abolished. And nothing could have so ill an effect on American institutions as the disturbance of this balance. The evils of patronage are great, and the trading of official appointments for support in accomplishing desired legisla tion is to be heartily condemned. But, to provide the President with the combined powers of a British sovereign and Prime Minister for a term of years, with no check whatever upon his actions, one would have imagined was far too foolish a proposition to be dreamed of, If it had not actually appeared in cold print The wisdom of the fathers who established the framework of America's democracy was great, but all their foresight was none too much to provide against the follies of their degenerate descendants. Having sug gested that the President shall "hold the powers of legislation in addition to his executive functions, our neighbor may as well complete the matter and vest in him the authority of the judiciary and save the expense ot the Supreme Court. TO BUKT liAILROAD WIRES. It Is understood that ever since the loss suffered in the blizzard of 1885 the Penn sylvania Railroad Company has been con sidering the advisability of burying the electric wires. The result of the seven years' thought on the matter is that a committee is said to be now Investigating the best method to adopt for putting this immense network under ground. The action of this enormous and pro gressive corporation in the direction indi cated will be closely watched by the general public. If it take the initiative" in burying its wires, other corporations will rapidly follow suit Hot only will the cities be rid of their unsightly and dangerous overhead encumbrances, but the wires will practically disappear from every landscape. And besides the con siderations of ffistheticism and public safety, which make this rpvolution de sired, there is the immense advantage which will accrue to the public when the prompt delivery of its messages is ren dered independent of wind and weather. A COMMON EXPEEIENCE. A case recently presented in the Phila delphia counts embodied a common but futile wish of urban mankind. A property-holder went into court through his at torney and requested an injunction against the erection of a third telegraph pole in front of his house. Two poles already planted there he managed to endure, but the third was the large-sized straw which broke the back of the property-holder's forbearance, and he wanted the court to stop it Battle satisfaction was obtained from the court, however, the Judge re marking that the property-owner did not own the sidewalk, and if the erection of the pole was authorized by Councils there was nothing to do but, stand it. The complainant's attorney left the court with the Parthian remark that his client did not want "a hedge of poles" in front of his property. In these words was expressed the com mon lack of deire among property-owners for that adornment And the same fate seems to attend that negative wish. Property-owners in other cities as well as Phil adelphia are finding out that they do not own the sidewalks, while it seems to be the practical conclusion that the telegraph companies do own them. So the hedge of poles goes up. In addition to this demonstration as to the title in sidewalks, this case 'gives a further suggestion that the triumphantly announced work of putting the electric wires under ground does not progress more effectively in Philadelphia than else where.. THE SCHOOL, TEAK'S END. Yesterday was the last day of the public school year, and to-day the pupils and teachers begin their two months' vacation. That they will all enjoy it and make good use of their time in recreation should go without saying. What a difference it does make to the public whether school keeps or notl What a change there is about all homes where there are youngsters, and what an altered character the streets, and even the public cars; have at the times around the usual hours of commencing and leaving the day's work in the class room. The public school system is one of the finest features of American national life, and cannot be made too much of. Public school teachers have a tremendous re sponsibility in their opportunities .for forming the character of those in whose hands the future of this country lies. The children; too, have an immense weight on their shoulders which has to be bope by their guardians until such time as they shall be able to appreciate for themselves the duties as well as the rights of American citizenship. Weary mothers are apt to find the boys and girls somewhat of a trial when the time hangs heavily on their hands and the first novelty of holiday time has worn off. But the opportunities for education in the wider sense are hardly less during the weeks of vacation than in the months of school days. With a little thought such opportunities can be well utilized to the benefit of the youngsters and the relief of their elders. Books and talks coupled with exercise and observation are a sup plement to the sehoolhouse lessons which are more valued the better they are em ployed. DISCOMFORTS ON KA1XKOADS. It is at this time of the year above all others that one regrets the shortsighted ness of the railroad companies in falling to rid the traveling public of an easily remediable grievance. One has to choose between partial suffocation with whole sale stewing or the risk of being blinded and the certainty of becoming filthy. Th's, of course, refers mainly to the gen eral public who make use of the ordinary cars, and in a much less degree to the comparatively exclusive" few who patron ize the more expensive Pullman vehicles. Walk Into any car and look for a clean seat after a train has been In motion for a few miles, and you will fall to find a rest-' ing place that is not copiously sprinkled with cinders ranging from the Impalpable in size to the dimensions of a good sized pea. Dust one of the seats off with a newspaper or any other available imple ment, and take your place. Sit with the window down and you will smother while inconvenienced by the burden of the draughts of fresh air coming through your neighbor's open casement Throw up the sash and your eyes are in serious danger, your lace is rapidly necked, and your clothes are covered with dirt, while the cinerary matter finds its way into the innermost recesses of your anatomy unless you take exceeding and most inconvenient care to enshroud yourself in kerchiefs and dust coat Yet almost all of this conld be pre vented by the adoption of some proper arrestive apparatus in the smoke-stack, or at least greatly mitigated by fixing proper screens alongside the windows. But, while railroad companies are run on the principle that they must yield the ut most profits, and while the value of human life is disregarded to a great ex tent, it is hardly to be expected that any attention will be paid to a matter of such mere detail as the comfort and cleanli ness o'f passengers. THE CHINESE BIOTS. The late news from Foochow, China, indicates that the lady missionaries there have mainly to thank themselves for the persecutions they suffered. Christianity and Western civilization are doubtless glo rious things, but it should be understood that they are not generally so regarded in the Celestial Empire. In giving permis sion to missionaries to do what they can to enlighten the Mo'igol race, the Chinese Government is really granting a privilege which costs it a great deal of trouble from the risk of disturbances among the ignor ant, prejudiced and superstitious populace to which it gives rise. As a return for favors received it is due from the missionaries to act in accordance with the wishes of the established authori ties. And especially so when those wishes are expressed on behalf of the safety of the missionaries themselves. To refuse assistance and disregard warnings honestly tendered Is to fly in the face of Providence. And such carelessness fre quently brings its punishment with it as it did on this occasion. To unnecessarily endanger human life is criminal at all times. And to court martyrdom and pro voke riot is uncivilized and can only tend to retard the cause of truth. Day by day the weather prophets prom ise us something cooler. Dut the only pal pable thing of that namo is a vessel for hold ing water or other liquid with ice in it. Fsee-tbade England, with a desire to extend her market, is pleased with the nomi nation and platform adopted by the Demo cratic party. That should be enough to de stroy any remaining illusions, and convince all patriotic Americans that the success of the Democratic party would mean the set back not to say the ruin of American in dustries. This much clearly understood, (here can surely be no doubt as to the de cision of the people In November. When bunko men manage to rob an ex sheriff as they recently did in Armstrong county to the tune of $6,500 it Is time for de tectives to beware of pickpockets. Natubally the immigration bill com plied by Keystone representatives is knowD as the Quaystone bill. It appears that the tail of the Demo cratic ticket has no war record after all, and that he is mainly known lor his dexterity in removing Republican postmasters when he acted as Cleveland's First Assistant Post master General. lie is thus only "General" Stevenson on goneial principles of courtesy. Cincinnati was under the weather yes terday and Pittsburg managed to come out at the top of a ball game for once, J us thy way of variety. There are few complaints of a natural gas shortage Just now, and draughty win dows are unheeded. Quay is not in the habit of flinging his money away, and his offer to bet $10,000 that Harrison will be re-elected is strong evi dence of how this shrewd politician expects things toco, while it should put an end at onco to all doubt as to the sincerity of his nilegianco to the Minneapolis ticket. Bayachol is to be guillotined after all. So there is some possibility in France of overcoming a Jury's cowardice by a sense of Justice. Both platforms ignore it, so the country may consider itself liee Irom Free Coinage dangers. A woman in Washington State who saved the lives of three seamen of t lie British ship Ferndale has received a gold medal from the United States Government as a testimony of her heroism. Medalsome wo men of this kind are beloved by all men and cannot be too highly honored. Pittsburg is to have a grand display of fireworks on the evening of the Fourth, and tho Juud only needs a little more assistance. There were plenty of leaks in the wig .waui, and Tammany had to eat some of them. For a man of his size Cleveland should bo leeling remarkably comfortable this weather, as the editor oi the Rocky Mountain A'oiFi which, by the by, has bolted the Democratic ticket once described him as being "cold as a walrus on a cake of ice." Pittsburg's contributions to the Oil Creek relief fund were prompt and gener ous, but they did not continue long enough. Cleveland will spend the summer at Buzzard's Bay, but there w ill be no Croker there. France will soon be able to compete with the far West us a roomy i egion for the reception of immigrants. For some time Its population has not only declined to Increase, but it has positively Inclined to deorease. As a . typical representative of the "spoils" system, Stevenson rather spoils Grover's civil service reform reoord. Hope 'deferred raaketh the heart siok, and hopes differed a good deal at Chicago. The Chicago convention has given the railroad people some practice for handling the World's Fair traffic, and It lias given the public an insight into the treatment it may expect from Windy City hotel tolk. The Chicago convention was the scene ot several free-trading transactions between various factions there assemoled. Public school vacations have begun, and tho llsing generation owns the earth. There is nn amount of warmth about the granting of privileges for those refreshment stands in Schenley Park which warrants the assumption that the proprietors at least will bo thirsty. Speculation on the Yale-Harvard boat race will help to pass the time until tho Fourth arrives in all its glory. Hiohland Pakk was wonderfully popu lar last night. As a eulogy of the spoils system and an indictment of the crime of mugwnmpery, Bourko Cockrnn's speech in the Democratic National Convention is absolutely un rivaled. PERSONAL FACTS AND FANCIES. Vice President Morton has 'been elected a trustee of Vassar College. President Harrison and Mr. Held are both graduates of Miami University, an In stitution which Calvin S. Brice also at tended. John D. Hawkins, of Indiana, is the veteran conventfon-goorat Chicago. Ho was. a dclegato to tho conventions th:it nominated Douglas, .Greeley, Seymour and Tiltlen. The little Queen of the Netherlands has been made chief of the Second Regiment of Westphalian Infantry, known as the "Prince Frederick of the Netherlands," by Emperor William. Pndp. Josef Well, ot Newark, N. J., recently bought a picture for $100, which proves to be a genuino Rubens and com panion to one now in the Royal Academy, Munich, valued at $125,000. They are talking of making M. M. Mnr dock, of Wichita, Republican candidate for Governor of Kansas. He is the editor of a newspaper.'tho Eagle, and it is said that he was the first writer of town boom articles. It now appears that Alcaeus Hooper, ot Baltimore, is the person who gave $250,003 forji woman's college at Johns Hopkins University a few days ago. At the time the gift was announced his name was withhold from the public. The Duke of York was formally commis sioned Commander of the cruiser Melatnpus yesterday. Tho Prince of Wales and other members of the royal family bado him fare well on board the Melatnpus, on which ship he will shortly start on a two-months' cruise. The Duke of Connaught has opened the new People's Palace in the East End of Lon don, Princess Beatrice has inaugurated tho Working Ladies! Guild, while Princess Loniroand the Marquis of Lome presided at a meeting of the Nursing Association, be sides opening the Scottish Industrial Bazaar. JOE XEFFJ3BS0N OH GS0VEB. Why He Is Very Well Pleased With Cleve land's Nomination. Buzzard's Bat, Mabs., Juno 24. Joseph Jefferson, the actor, expressed deep personal interest in the nomination of his "boon fish erman," as be is pleased to call Mr. Cleve land. "The details of the proceedings at Chicago are an enigma to me," he said, "but I understand the situation sufficiently to say that I know tho convention has made a wise selection. Great men are apt to be good fliherrhen. You can Judge a man's charac teristics better when you fish with hbn than under nlmostany other conditions. Mr. Cleveland is an eminent philosopher and a profound thinker. He is a Sherman, conse quently of a high order, as eminent philoso phers generally are. He flshos with a rod In a scientific manner, and possesses the art of cajoling a bass to his hook with almost abso lute certainty. "Mr. Cleveland, Mr. Gilder, of the Century Magazine, my son and myself own a lake and three islands at Marsh Pee on Cape Cod. We named them in spirit of mild satire, after tho name of the capes, which very fre quently terminate in 'it;' for instance, Ma nomit, Cotontt, and Naquussit. The islands' names are Getonit, Notlntt, and Coraefflt. "Some or the fishing that I bavo seen Mr. Cleveland do in the vicinity of onr camping grounds at Marsh Pee would sound so in credible that I do not wish to rforil my repu tation as a reliable relator of piscatorial an ecdotes. During our gi eat raids on the finny tribe, Mr. Cleveland observed that wise reti cence that indicates an interest in the sport complacency, and peace and harmony with all mankind. "Speaking of tho last subject, I do not re member that I ever heard our distinguished friend make an unkind allusion to an op ponent. He has been sorely tried, no doubt, us the newspaper reading public are aware. Mr. Cleveland rarely mentions political sub jects among his fUhing friends, except of a very general nature. Last evening, while at his home conversing with Mr. Cleveland and his guest Governor Russell, I drew upon my limited political knowledge and ventured to ask some questions legardinjr tho gathering at Chicago. 'Thev aie abso lutely certain to nominate you,' I said. "Mr. Cleveland laughingly replied: 'It is never best to be too certain in politics. A convention may sometimes be compared to a petit Jury and act exactly as they see fit, and oitentlmes exactly opposite to tho wishes of interested counsel.' "Several times when I havo expressed friendly solicitude, after reading some newspaper disquisition on the probability oi we uemocranc nomination, Mr. Cleve land would anstverseriously: " "I allow myself to foimno anticipation." I ically believe that ho Is the coolest man in America, and, if 1 were to add the greatest man this country has ever known, I would only expres my feeling. Therefore, when I burned fireworks to-night I let off my py rotechnici with quite as much enthusiasm as any other American displayed to-day." A SUCCESSFUL TEST TRIP Made by the City ot Para, One of the Aux iliary Naval Crnlsors. New York, Juno 24. The Pacific Mail steamship City of Para made a successful test trip yesterday morning 'to prove lior fit ness as an auxiliary naval cruiser. Captain James L. Lockwood is proud of the vessel, lor shu made an 'average of 14 knots an hour on a four hours' trip, while- an average of not more than 11 knots is required. It was 5 o'clock Wednesday afternoon when tho City of Para left her pier at tho foot of Canal street. North river. On board wore Captain Byron Wilson, Lieutenant S. H. May and Chtef Engineer E. A. McGee, of the Naval Board ot Inspection. The steamship anchored in Gravesend Baylor the night, and about 6 o'clock yes terday morning she passed Sandy Hook lightship on her trial trip. From that point she ran 53 miles to the southward, making the aveiago speed named. Her sciewmade 73.2 revolutions a minute, and her coal con sumption was at the rate of 40 tons in 24 hours. Tho vessel leturned to her pier yes terday afternoon. Tho members of the naval board were well pleased. Captain Lockwood says tlieTJlty of Para is capable of 16 knots an hour, her screw making SO revolutions a minute. The steamship was built of iron, at Chester, Pa., in 1878, and she registers 2.504 net or 3,532 gross tons. She is barkentine rigged, has a single sorew, and compound engines. There are seven water tight bulk heads, and the vessel is handsomely fitted lor passengers. THE HEW B0UVENIB HALF DOLL AB. Its Design Complete and a Proof Soon to Be Struck at Philadelphia. Philadelphia. June. 31. The design for the proposed souvenir half dollar to commemor ate the Columbian Exposition has been made and a proof piece will soon be struck off. The coin will be silver and will be oolncd Irom old silver dollars instead, of bullion. A oopy oi the design is to be seen at the United Suites Mint here. On the one side of the coin is the Adminis tration .Building at Chicago fronting on the lake:' On the other side will be a head or Columbus taken from Kicous' portrait of the discoverer now hanging In the Queen's library at Madrid. Suitable Inscriptions, indicating the purpose of the coin, will be engraved upon It-. 1 A LOOK AROUND. "I am going to England,'. remarked a Plttsburger who travels much, 3uBt to see a boat race. I don't know anybody who will row and I don't care who wins. 'That may sound odd to yon, "but I will explain by say in? that I am going to seethe Henley re gatta. It is about the prettiest sight I know of, and one whioh ah American can thoroughly enjoy. It is a regatta between college crews and thobe of the rowing clubs, and then, too, fliore are singles and doubles. The regatta lasts a couple of days at least, and during that time the Thames is a delightful sight. Three years ago one of the lock-. keepers told me hat over 6,000 pleasure boats had passed in one day to the regatta course. There are house boats, launches, punts, skiffs of all sorts, canoes, shells and ordinary rowboats, and each of them is,sure to carry all tho people" it will hold. The ladies make a great show of gay costumes of flannel or some other outing material, and are brave in parasols and bonnots, while the men wear flannels and straw or felt hats or caps of the colors of their colleges or so cieties, and the effect is about as pretty as that or any gathering I know of. The ladies nowadays look upon the Henley regatta as the Jolllost sort of break in the season and new effects in out ing or more pretentious costumes are first shown here, Just as racing combinations are at Ascot, yachting rigs at Cowos and court robes at a drawing-room. Henley gives you a hotter glimpse into English life among all classes than any other one event and there is a charm about it that I have not been able to shake off. There are dozens of ottier re gattas during the summer, but none of them can compare with Henley." By this time Major Ned Montooth Is well on his way to Europe. A few days be fore bo sailed ho told mo a story or the Old Drury Theater, whioh was the predecessor of the ODera House. He is fnll of theatrical anecdotes as everybody knows who has listened to his interesting, gossipy talk. Forrest was appearing a Matamora one night and was at his best, Old "Daddy" Fox, now dead, but known for years as crier of the United States Court and in the Pennsyl vania Railroad service, was at that time the gallery police ofllcer. He was told to keen order among the boys and for this purpose carried a long rattan rod with which he rapped the baoks of benches or boys, as tho case might be. At the end of the second act Forrest enme off storming with rage. He demanded Manager Henderson's immediate presonce.and when he came Forrest shouted: "What is the meaning ot this insult, sirran, this insultT" "What is itt" asked the as tonished manager. "Why, sirrah," stormed Forrest, "You have a burly ruffian up In the gnllery, who is actually repressing the en thusiasm of the audience with a clnb, do you attend, sir, witn a clnb, by heavens, and he leaves the house orl do, sirrah, at onco." As you can imagine, Fox was hidden away until the enrtain fell on the last act. Heated term A cuss word. Indiana. Giay-tituoe. charges Cleveland with in- One of the beauties of Anglo-Saxon law is that in court even a deaf man can havo a hearing. TnE local Democrats seem to be bent upon getting ahead ot local Republicans in showing allegiance to the ticket. Of course, there is need for this in Allegheny, county, where the preponderance of the Republic ans leads to sleepiness sometimes. All this is apropos of the fact that on the front of tho old University building on Diamond street 1 noticed u big streamer yesterday morning announcing that within could be found headquarters for Cleveland and Stev enson. I havo not as yet caught a glimpse of any Harrison and Held decorations of a similar character, but they will no doubt be found at the polling places in Novomber. At the time of the death of First Assist ant Postmaster General Malcolm Hay, A. L. Stevenson made a good many friends here among the leading Democrats. At that time he was Seoond Assistant in the Post office Department and be came to Pittsburg as the representative of the administration at the Hay funeral. He was a great ad mirer of the courtly and polished man whose early death had boon hastened by tne worry incident to his office, and he was so thought, ful and attentive that he made a most favor able impression on all who met him. Later he made much of Postmaster Larkln, who became a sort of protege of his. You would suppose naturajly that an as sistant postmaster of so big an office as that or Pittsburg would be above the weakness or forgetting to mail the family letters, especially when there were special delivery stamps to be placed upon them. This is "what Assistant Postmaster Edwards did yes terday, leaving tho mail on his breakfast table like an ordinary citizen with a literary wife and family. Speakin of- the postoffice here, Mr. Edwards tells'me that Pittsburg ranks next to Ne,w York and Chicago in special delivery work. There are 22 boys employed for this branch of tho work here and they earn from $25 to $28 a month each. This shows that al most 5,000 special delivery letters a month are sent out from this office for local de livery. "I have had enough of big seaside hotels," remarked Captain McKinney, the veteran hotel proprietor, yesterday. "I gave up the Manhattan Beach and Oriontal hotels two years ago, and 1 do not think I will try any more or them. What crowds we used to have, and yet I managed to take care of them all, for nobody can say he ever found me short of eatables. At Coney Island or Manhattan Beach I never used to have less than 25 tons of meats on hand dally, and other things in proportion. On Decoration Days we used to be overrun. One Decora tion Day thore was such a crowd I had to open up the Oriental Hotel, although its season had not begun, and we fod 62,000 people,that day. They used to cat a gre.it deal, and they did not forget to drink, and it was a common occurrence to nse a carload of wines and bottled beer daily In the season." Printing a man's portrait in the papers seems to havo a good effect upon him. Por traits or Postmaster Gilleland were pub lished when it was said ho was dying, and now ho is reported to be much improved. Walter. A BBAVE WOMAN HONORED, Her Services in Life-saving Recognized by tho Government. ' WASHinoTOif, June 24. Senator Allen, of the State of Washington, has lecelved irom the Secretary or the Treasury, for trans mission to a woman in his .State, a magnifl. cent gold medal, engraved In a circle around the face with tho words: "In testi mony of heroio deeds in saving life from the perils of the sea," and on the face of tho shield with the words. In very small char acters: "To Mrs. Martha White, for heroic deods in rescuing. three men from drown ing." On the reverse side of the medal are tho words: "United Slates of America, act of Congress, June 20, 1874. The story of the remarkable act that has called forth this recognition from- the Gov ernment is set out In a letter from the Sec retary of the Treasury which accompanies the medal, in which, after reviewing tlio facts of the rescue of three ship-wrecked sailors of the ship Ferndale, he says: "Such achievements as these are usually wrought by strong men, and are thon Justly con sidered or great praise. Accomplished by a woman they attain the highest degree of heroism and are entitled to a recommenda tion or extraordinary examination. It is said that you have been accustomed to frequent the beach during dangerous weather, in quest of such errands of mercy as the mis lortunes or tho sea might lay in your power, a signal evidence of those blftb moral qualities, unfailing courage, and a spirit or generous self-sacrifice without which no person, man or woman, could have achieved your heroic work." West Virginia's 3 uperlor Orator;. Chicago Times. West Virginia oratory is a very much bet ter quality of oratory than such a specimen of Kentucky oratory as Henry Watterson forced npon -the convention. Wilson is im measurably the superior of Owens. A NEW PAETT POSSIBLE. Free Sliver Men Anxlons to Make Show of Their Strength. WAsnnroTOir, June 24. Special. Aside from the faotlonal differences among tho .Democrats, lfls quito evident rrom the talk here that the silver question Is to bo a mat ter of serious dissension. Neither the free sliver men nor the anti-tree silver element are satisfied with the platform, and tho only offset to tbo dissatlsfaotlon Is that the Re publican platform, while satisfactory to tho "gold bugs," because, notwithstanding its trimming the party Is known to be opposed to tho free coinage fallacy, they havo prac tically driven the free coinage men from the party. Moreover, tho Republicans are not at odds with their candidate, while the Democrats, regardless of the unintelligible nature of the sllverplank in their platform, are known to be, in a large malority, op posed to the opinions held by Mr. Cleveland. The great query here Is as to how the can didate will treat the matter In his letter or speech of acceptance. Will he slur over the question, or will he, after tho conscientions manner in which he has treated it hereto fore, speak out boldly and say that the ut terance or the platform is sadly ambiguous, and that In so tar as It looks toward free coinage or silver he must reject It andadopt his personal convictions! Scarcely any or the many Congressmen who wont to the convention nave yet arrived at tho capital, but the free silver men, who did not go, and who are visible, nro much dissatisfied, and speak gravely of the trouble which tney fear will arise in the party on the silver problem. They are carofnl not to speak too plainly, on account or the possibility, or even the probability, or an open rupture, and the union or the free sliver men with other discontented elements, such as the Alliance and People's parties: but privatelv they admit that the time has como when both ot the old parties should be taught that they cannot safely persist in ignoring tho convictions or a great body the majority, as they think or the people or the country in response to the influence, as they assert, of the banking and money lending million aires. There are more than whispers ofa formid able movement, and the nomination of a third ticket, which will give the free sliver people opportunity to express their honest convictions. It is believed by this element that such a movement would assnme grand proportions, far beyond anything dreamed of by the opposition, and that, though it might result only in throwing the election into the House, and therefore in tho elec tion of Mr. Cleveland. It would give a show of hands which would astonish everybody, and establish a permanent movement which would at no distant day win success. The mere idea, they believe, of vastly Increasing the bulk of the circulating medium of the country, would be so catching as to bring the popular vote for free silver up to an equality with that or either of the old parties, and that even in manv or the eastern States. It Is boldlv claimed bv thesn silver men that even such States as Pennsylvania and New York, II a chance were given for free and direct expression, a majority would be found on the side of free silver. A Repub lican Senator of the United States said this evening that he would be willing to wager a good round sum that the real sentiment of Pennsylvania is not expressed by the Con gressmen fiom that State, aid that ir a di rect vote could be had upon that question, alter a vigorous campaign, a majority would be round upon the side of free coinage, whether this feeling in favor of an inde pendent movement is spasmodic and will die out as the old parties get under headway In the campaign, it is impossible to guess, but at this time it is exceedingly strong. The hODe Is that the Alliance and People's parties will unite on satisfactory candidates and omit from their platform all or tho crank features, and thus give the tree silver men a ohance to support these candidates without a formal secession from the old par ties with which they have been affiliating. STEVES SON HOI A S0LDIEH. Be Won His Title In Civil and -Political Strife Only. Philadelphia Press. The political career of the Vice Presldcntal candidate of the Democratic party has been an exceedingly varied one. Ho has been at times a Republican, a Greenbackor, ,an In dependent Reiormer and a Democrat, and to tbo latter party he owes about all tho distinction he ever got out of the political trade. i At various times during tho past levr months since Mr. Stevenson's name has been mentioned in connection with the Vice Presidency reference has been vaguely mado to his war. record and there is a popn lar delusion owing to his title or "General," that he served during the rebellion in the army or the Union. The fact Is 'that Mr. 8tevenson not only has no military reoord, but all through the Rebellion he was known as an anti-war Democrat and a sympathizer with the Southern cause. His only claim to the title "General" Is that at one time he was Assistant Postmaster General and offi cial executioner of the Democratic Admin istration in that department. Mr. Stevenson is a tariff-fof-revenne-only Democrat. Ho regards the McKlnloy bill as the crowning evil or the present genera tion. On the night or October 27, 1S90, he addressed a large Democratic mass meeting in Chicago. Mr. Stevenson, with his varied political experience, makes it a point to let no bit ordemagogerv interfere with his suc cess as a speaker or politician. So, know ing his nudience, he stepped to tho front of the platform, removed his cravat and collar, and began a hal&hour's anti-tariff address, in which he lauded Mills and denounced McKinley. PBOTECTION 8PBEADING. How the Sentiment Has Been Strengthened Out In Indiana. Indianapolis Journal. Marcus R. Snlzer, of Madison, a member of the Republican State Committee, was at the Denison last evening, on bis way home from Gas City, where he has large real estate In terests. Said Mr. Sulzer to a Journal re porter: "You people outside of the gas belt in Indiana can scarcely appreciate the strenghening of the protection sentiment that is going on in the gas belt. It Is con sidered little short of treason there to talk free trade, and Democratic doctrine receives no encouragement. The cause of it is tbo Influx of manufacturing interests that bids fair to substitute tho factory whistle for the dinner horn. At Gas City everybody talks tin and everybody bas tin statistics at his tongue's end. Go np there and you will learn that 99 per cent of the tin plate of the world is made in WalPS, and that 75 por cent of it Is consumed in the United States. Four hundred and forty-five tin factories there enmlov 161000 men. As one or tho re sults of the McKinley bill 20 tin mills will be moved from Wales to Gas City. These mills will employ 2,000 men, nnd their em ployment means an addition to the popu.a tlon of Gas City or 7,000 poople. Tho same conditions, to a greater or less extent, ob tain in every part of the gas belt. The people have got the idea Into their hoads that this is the result of the McKinley bill, and it is going to be difficult to dislodgo that notion. Put it down that we will gain several thousand votes in the gas belt. Tho drift there is in our direction." Summing Up the K?salt. Philadelphia Bulletin. The result of tho Chicago Convention may be summed np in tho declaration that tbo Democratic bird In the hand has been sur rendered for a chase after the Mugwump bird in the bnsh. This Is what the office cat would call rainbow-chasing of the most approved kind. DEATHS HERB AXD ELSEWHERE. Ex-Coneremmsn.Thoma K. Cobb. Hon. Thomas B. Cobb died at bis borne in VIncennes, Ind., Thursday, aged 63 yesr?. He was a member or the Indiana Legislature from IgjS to 1866; was delegate to the National Convention that nominated 'i'llden: was a member of Congress from 1876 to 1838, and ns a member of the lTorty seTenth Congress attained considerable fame as Mutli-mmi nr thn Committee on Public Lands br in troducing a bill forfeiting the lands of railroad cor. porallons lor non-iuinument oi cnnirai-is, saving to the people many millions of dollars. thus J. J. Brooks, Memphis, Attorney. J. J. Brooks, a well-known attorney, for merly Assistant Attorney General of Tennessee, died at tho Southern Bl-Chlortae of Gold Institute Thursday night. The flrst hypodermic iujtctlon of bl-chlorlde of gold made him a raring maniac, and It required four strong attendants to prevent him rrom Injuring the other Inmates. Thursday night he displayed all the symptoms of hydrophobia and died In convulsions. The Southern i:i-C'h!orlde of Gold Club Is not operated by the Keeley people. Ubltnnry Motes. Samuel Btokeb was found dead In bed by his daughters. Death was caused by heart trouble. ills age was 67. His wife was absent In the East. William E. Hollo wat, Peruvian Consul, and head of the firm of Grace A Co., of San Francisco, died yesterday. He was thrown from his horse friar days ago and sustained a fracture of one leg. which necessitated amputation, and the shock. In connection with blood poisoning, caued bis dtatn. , THE UNIVERSITY ALUMNI. Hew Cfflcors Chosen. After Which the Slom bers Sit Down to a Banqurt and Then Llnten to Entertaining Addresses So da! Gossip. The "Western University Alumni Asso ciation held their annual banquet last night at the Monongahela House, 84 graduates of the institution being present. Judge James H. Beed, the President, ocenpied the scat of honor. After the coffee, letters of regret were read from Chief Justice Paxson.Unlted States Senator McMillan, of Minnesota, and other members of the association. The tonstmaster was Dr. John M. Dnff, or the class of T2. Dr. Dnff is one of the most dis tinguished graduate of the university, oc cupying an enviable position in tho medi cal profession. He is nlso President of ono of the sections of the American Medical As sociation. In his introductory remarks tho doctor referred to -the fact that some people claimed that but little was heard of tho graduates of the University. That was be cause the institution had not been in the habit or blowing its own trumpet. It was a fact, however, that some of the most distin guished men In the country claimed the university ns their alma mater. The toasts wero as .follows: Alma Mater, William D. Moore. '41: Trustees. Kev. John Crocker White, D. D.: A Poem, George II. Barbour, oj: Lav, xinn. i ames xi. neeu, -ni jieuicine, John J. Buchanan, M. D.. '77: Sister Colleges, R. T. Knox: Lafayette '92, Walther Biddle, 1)2; Tne University's Future, Chancellor Holland. Among those who took a great in terest in the addresses was David Todd Cnrnahan, of Banksville, Pa., or the Class or '40, who was the oldest graduate present. The University Glee Club furnished some pleasing selections. Previous to the banqnet the association held a meeting and elected these officers: President, Judge James H. Roed: Vice Presi dent, Dr. John M. Duff:. Honorary Vice Presidents Judge Daniel Agnew, s. R. J. McMHlen, Judge Magce, Jndgo J. II. Bailey, Rev. Alex. Young, Rev. C. A. Holmes, Dr. RoDcrtB. Manrer, Dr. .Robert M. Tlndle, William Thaw, Jr., and James D. Layng; Recording Secretary, R. T. McCormick; Cor responding Secretary. Beid ' T. Stewart; Treasurer, Benjamin Thaw. The now con stitution, which was adopted, orovides for a committeo of 13, to consist of five regular officers and eight others, to be appointed by the President, to take control of the affairs of the association ana prepare an annual year book. The dimensions of this department did not rise to tho needful elasticity or tho oc casion on Friday morning, and in conse quence the Interesting rose fete given at Mrs. Wade's honse in Edgewoodville had perforce to bo held over. This annual event is the one circumstance of the year in the club, and by it is formally wound np the year's activity prior to tho club entering upon a certain intellectually relaxing and restful condition. The fete was held this year at Mrs. Wade's house, vho is the Presi dent of the clnb, besides having the honor to sneceed herself lor several years: and was rendered doublv enjoyable by serving also to celebrate the wedding anniversary of the hostess-President. Social Chatter. The second evening of the outdoor festival of Butler Street 31. E. Churoh emphasized the success or the night before. There was the usual rushing or trade at the flying horse. If the fine weather continues the fete will be open to-night for the last time. Mr. A3D Mrs. .TosK.ru Waltot will leave for Europe abont July 1, SDending the heat ed term traveling through the continent in hopes or restoring Mr. Walton to a robust ness, which, unhappily, for some time he has been deprived of. Miss Margaret Dixsmobe Duxcax will bo married to Frank Crawford Waddell on Thursday, June SO. at 8 o'clock. The cere mony will be a home one, followed by a re ception and a wedding tour. Curry University will spend to-day at Bock Point, when a Daseball contest for a silver cup will take place between the uni versity club nnd that of the business col lege. A marriage has been arranged between Miss Stephenson, daughter or John G. Stephenson, Eq., and William Y. Hum phreys, of Point Breeze. Mrs. Johk Hats, or Allegheny, and Miss Stella Hays, her danghter, sail rrom New York this-mornlng for Europe. GE0EGE ALF&ED T0WNSE5D. Kngeno Field's Fen Picture of the Tfoted Correspondent of The Dispatch. Chicago News. George Alfred Townsend be whom you all know ns "Gath" is an early bird, one of those unhappy people of whom Mark Twain has said that they get up In the middle of the night to eat a meal. He Is a man or sr.lendid physique and or regular habits. He makes a practice of getting through his work by noon every day. and therefore he bas to start in upon it by 9 o'clock. So ho rises at 630 o'clock, and by 7 o'cloc c Is ready for breakfast no cotfeo and toast affair, but suoh a square meal as is qualified to stay by its possessor through six hours of hard work. He does little writing. Pacing the floor of his room he dictates to a stenog rapher'; this practice gives to his work that conversational, hair-familiar character that is a consplcuons cnarm tnereor. Mr. Townsend lias a larger personal ac quaintance than nnv five other men in tno country. His fnnd of information UDOn every conceivable subject is simply enor mous, for he is essentially an Inquirer and an observer; his memory is wonderfully broad and retentive. In many respects, he Is as remarkable a man as we ever have met with. THEEE HUES ABO OUT. Two Distinctions Which Mr. Cleveland'En Joys All by Himself. Philadelphia Ledger. Mr. Cleveland enjoys two distinctions as tho Presidental candidate of his party in 1892. He is the only man ever nominated against the united vote of his own State, and that a State which Is doubtful and neces sary to win. The action of the convention,, however, was based upon the assumption that the delegates did not truly represent their constituency. It is, nevertheless, un usnal to disregard the wishes or a State delegation in this way. Mr. Cleveland Is also the only man who has been nominated bv party conventions three times for the office or President. Before tho days of party conventions Washington. John Adams, Jef ferson, Pinckney, John Jay, Clinton, Burr, Jackson, John Qulncy Adams and Clnv re ceived votes in three or more electoral col leges, and Van Buren, In later years, was throe times a candidate for the Presidency, but the last time he wns tho candidate of a third party and received no electoral votes. It is altogether an unusual distinction for any man to be nominated by his partv con vention for a third time lor the office of President. TAHllAKi'S WATERLOO. The Tammany braves marohed up with Hill and then marched down again. iV. Y. Ileiaid. Otm Tammany friends may be thankful that they got out or that Chicago Wigwam alive. i 1 Telegram. TnE Tammany tiger was choked to death at Chicago, but there will be a resurrection in November. Ohio State Journal. TnE Gothamltes and their "satraps and dependents" who make up Tammany went to Chicago to gather wool, lint have come borne shorn. Brooldyn Standard Union. Tamjiaut may undertake to control tho action or fnture Democratic National Con ventions, but it is a rather safo assumption that she will be slaw bere.tfter to undertake open dictation in that direction Philadel phia Ledger. Well, Tammany has boon turned down. Herpiotests have been hurled hack Into her teeth and her candidate has been relent lessly slaughtered. She has been told that she has neither influence nor standing in the Democratic party. PMadetphia Inquirer. For years the most powerful and most feared political organization in the Demo cratic party, its dominant spirit always con trolling tlie destinies or men and principles, it is to-day a broken reed and, a powerless factor in national politics. Grand Rapids Herald. Grover's Disposal of a Boom,. Chicago Inter-Ocean. 3 - Vhen a boom gets to booming too lively Grovor Just lies down and rolls over on It and a grease spot marks tho remains. Boles nnd Hill a'ld Palmer nnd Gray and Morrison and Carlisle have each been rolled on. nrrenvllle Democrats Parade. Gbeetvilie, June 24. fipeclaLl Tho Greenville .Democrats ratified the nomina tion of Cleveland and Stevenson this even ing with a street parade, beaded by a bras baud. CURIOUS C0NDENSATI0NS- Steel chimneys are becoming common. Philadelphia is now to have a college of undertakers. United States farm mortgages amount to $15,330,575,000. American tourists spend 5100,000,000 each year In Italy. In a year 8,500 chnrches have been built in the United States. Twenty million acres of the land of tha United States are hold by Englishmen. The oldest building in the world is the Tower of London. Itantedates Cajsar's con quests. The first tinware ever made in this conntry was manufactured in Berlin, Conn., In 1740. The total value of unclaimed mail matter in the London postoffice Is some thing over $50,000 a year. Siam has just sent over to England 2T youths, all belonging to the Siamese aristoc-' racy, to complete their education. Violin makers prize above all other kinds of wood that which they extract from' the seasoned timber or old houses. There are over 2,000 tons of silver bars, 55,000,COO silver dollars and $35.0000.000 in gold: coin stored in the Philadelphia mint. London has a firm of opticians whose, snecialtyls the sale or spectacles for horses. The object or the spectacle 13 to promote high stepping. , Prior to 10CC the horses of England were never shod, William the Conqneror being the person who Is given the credit of intrc-l during horse-shoeing in the British Isles. There is a very curious word in the, dictionary that is spelled l-i-a-r-d, and means n small French sliver coin, a dapple gray horse, and also a balsam poplar tree. A farm in Pithole, Pa., which wa? bought some years ago during the oil et citement by Chicago speculators for $1,500, 000. was sold recently at a tax sale for $1C0. Bean Swift proposed to tax female love liness, and to have each lady rate her own charm", naTlng, "Tho tax would be cheer fully paid and would prove very produc tive." The custom of shakinsr or giving hands can bo traced to the days of the ancjent Israelites and wai intended to signiry peace, to swear friendship, promise alliance, or give security. A mining expert, jnst returned from, Alaska states that the country is rich in minerals or nil kind, and ventures the opin ion that tho finds of gold there will exceed' that or 1S49 in California. There is in Ireland or has been a class or proressional mourners who attend f nnernls and wakes for .pay, and wall until the welkin rings. Those people are called , teeners, and when in full blast are satdtoba keening. The block which probably ha3 tha largest population of any in tho world" is in Now York, bounded by Avenues B and C, Second and Third avenues. It lias a popu lation of 3,500, or at tho surprising rate of 1,000,000 to tho square mile. The snake story of the season comes from Borne. Ga. A snake was scon near' thore recently, lying asleep bv the road side. A man stabbed it with his umbrella, nnd it Immediately stretched out "two long wings like a goose, and sailed away across the field." An Austrian provincial paper lately contained the following advertisement: "A widow, who still possesses the entire ward robe of her deceased hnsband. is disposed to enter into correspondence with a suitable gentleman, if ouch can be found, with a view to matrimony." A curious illustration of the domestic economy of the Egyptians bas been met with in the unwinding of the bandages or tho mummies. Although whole webs of final cloth have Deen most frequently used, in other cases the bandages are fragmentary, and have seams, darns and patches. ' The Hindoo places a clock in his ptsi lor, not because ho evor desires to Suow what the hour Is, but because a clocsSis a ! foreign curiosity. Instead, therefore, of. contenting him seir with one good clock, ba will nave, pcrtans. a dozen in one room. These clocks are signs or his wealth. A boy, 14 years old, who lives near. Wavcross, Ga-, is said to greatly resemble an alligator. Scales or a delicate texture can be seen all over his body. He has a flat; hend. a long, wide mouth and eves like an alllgntor. His legs and arms are fiat and crooked at the joints; he can neither talk nor walk, but bellows and crawls like a rep tile. , One of the most interesting sights alongl the Rio Grande Is to seo a regiment of Mexi can soldiers taklnga compulsory bath. It is only under compulsion that the rank and file or the army ever do bathe, nnd when tha caremonv Is in Drogress. one-hall of tho roc- lment enters the water while the other half stands guard on bank, rifles in hand, to shoot down any man who deserts. The Esquimaux when he goes fishing, uses a funny-looking boat made of seal skins stretched over a wooden, frame. He calls : this craft a kayak. On the upper side or tho kayak, directly In tho middle, is an opening through which the fisherman climbs intoj tbo boat, wrapping himself up in a flap or sealskin, which he laces tightly about tho opening so as to keep out the water. , A man went into a bank in a town down East the other day and laid down a peculiar piece of paper before tho cashier. It was the exact size of a dollar silver cer tificate, but not the color. Tho man ex olalned: "Ton soe. I" accidentally loft tha bill in a coat I had dyed brown. The coat tookflrst rate so did the bill." The bill was sent to Washington and redeemed. One of the latest methods of loosening the earth to a depth or two or three reot and allowing the absorption of considerable moisture in periods or drought, is by the uso or dynamite olcctrically fired. Tho inventor drills holes two or threo foot deep and fivo feet apart, making 1,000 to the acre. In each hole is placed a sufficient quantity of the ex plosive, connected with a wire leading to the battery, and after the earth Is tramped down the whole is discharged by a spark. The filigree artisans of India still con tinue making tho beautiful round plaited gold chains for which tbolr ancestors have been so famous. From some of theso chains hang smaller ones or finest wire, almost ltko gold threads, having minute fishes and other pendants drooping from them. In tho English and French collections or Jewelry, still guarded as treasure gems, ono may seo enrrings so dexterously wrought that from connecting pendant chains tiny birds cov ered with enamel "droop with shimmering beauty." JOKELETS ritOSI JODG& His mother Winthrop Frothiugham, I told yon that I should pnnlsh you ir yon went in bathing again to-day. and now yon must take the consequences. Winthrop Very well, mother; I recognize that I must accept the Inevitable, but won't you kindly allow me to get out of this bathing suit and into my corduroys berore tne execution wginsr Danghter You know, father, they are? going to have a fair at the church next week, and I thought I would like to get something for It. Father (banding her a check) Certainly, my daughter. In the cause or charity I am always liberal. What were you going to get? Daughter Something In the way of a new gowa. The eel to ne'er be skinned, Tlie'nsh to ne'er be caught My hope orjoy has thinned To reel with them this thought. That 'tis the greatest bliss The greatest woe to miss. He (after an elopement from boarding school) You led me to infer that yon would in- . herlt a hundred thousand dollars. She Xo,l didn't. I said my father was worta that much. He-Well, but you never said a word about hav ing II brothers and sisters. She I didn't suppose you wanted to marry tha whole family. In truth she was a pretty lass Who gazed Into the looking-glass. She murmnred, as she gazed again, I'm sure I was not made In vain 1" And echo answered, Malden-valnl" Eenbcn Hello, Phil! what yer goin' to do wld dat old drain-pipe? Phil-Big snap. I'm selllu' to de Decorative Art j Society fer nmbreller-staads. I've stole all de plpo in Horseheads, X. Y. "What do your clnb letters, B. S., stand i for?" "You won't ten. win yon?" Oh. no." Then why should B" y