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f tawiton Syectator. j3=Litor and -TERMS, $2.OOA:YEAR. should be made by check raft, postal order, or registered letter. PKOFES I* tONAI,.~ CARTER BRAXTON, ATT()|!NF.V-AT-LAW, No. 2i 8, Augusta St. Special attention given to collections. CS. W. BARNES, , . ATT()"N<Y-AT-LAW, No. 4 West Main °treet, sept S7-*f Staunton, Va. WH I. WnES. . ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, STATTfTIIV, VA. '.'.» 2, Oourt House Square. ~ ... t f 1 ro ,\ A. tVPrnnitit in... • > coHeottous. . V. - . ■ ;. -. iruK. Hknki W. Holt. TTKK « HOLT, ATTO R N E VS-AT- L A W, No. 8 Lawyers' Row, Staunton, Va. Law Officii ALEXANDEH & TAYLOR, Lawyers, No 6 Lawyers' Row, oct 17-tf JM. QDARLES, ATTOBNEP-AT-LA W, STAUNTON, VA. feb 17, '86-tf Wm. A. P"Att, Hugh Holmes 'vdkr. PBATT & KERB, ATTORN E V'S-AT- LA W, No. 17 Court Place, - - Staunton, Va NOTARY PUBLIC. JOS. A. GLASGOW, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. • Rooms, No. 23 S. Augusta Street. Suinner Building. STAUNTON, VA. aug 10-tf DR. H. M. 1-aj.TERSON, STAUNTON, VA. Offers Uis professional services to the citi zens of Staunton. Offlce No. 121 East Mtain Street. T 3. CROSIER, O . ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Offlce on Courthouse square, STAUNTON, VA. Prompt attention given to all legal ousiness sntrusted to him. In state or Eederal Courts. Wil.l devote entire time to his profession, iune 1-tf T) E. R. NELSON, Attornev-at-Law and Commissioner in Chancery. OFFICE No. 10 LAWYERS' ROW, Jan 4-tf STAUNTON, VA. \ C. BRAXTON ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR. OFFICE.—Cbowie Ruildixo opposite Y. M. C. A. Special attention given to corporation and real-estate law. Having closed up all outside business, which Ijra year or two interrupted my regular law practice, I am now enabled to, and snail, from lthis time, give my undivided time and exclu sive attention to the law; and to such persons as my entrust me with their litigation, I prom ise, niy best efforts and such ability as I may possess. Lan 18-tf 395. The Sun! 1895 lIALTIMOItE, MD. TllE PAPER OF THE PEOPLE. For the People ami with the Peoi-le. Honest in Motive. Feahlessin Expression. Sou.no in PRINCIPLE. UNSWERVING IN Its allegiance to RIUHT I'HEOKIES AND Right Pkactices. The Sun Publishes am. the News Ale the Time, but it dues not allow its columns to be degraded by unclean. Unmoral or purely sen -±ti<in i i matter. Editorially, The sun is the Consistent ant unchanoi.no champion asl) defender ov popular rights and interests against politi u inaciiims and monopolies of every charac ter. Independent in all things, extreme in none, itisforgood laws, good government and good order. Uy mail Fifty Cents a month. Six Dollars a . ar. The Haltimore Weekly Sun. The Weekly Sun publishes all the news of each week, giving complete accounts ot all events of interest throughout the world. As an Agricultural paper The Weekly Sun is unsurpassed. It is edited by writers of prac tical experience, who know what farming means auu .fhat farmers want In an agricul tural Journal. It contains regular reports of the work of the agricultural experiment - nations throughout the country, of the pro ceedings of farmers' cluos and institutes, and the discussion of new methods and ideas in agriculture. Its Market REPORTS, Poultry Department ana Veterinary column are par tloularly valuable to country readers. Every issue contains Stories, Poems, Household a d Puzzle Columns, a variety of interesting a; d instructive selected matter and other fea tures, which make it a welcome visitor in city and country homes alike. line dollar a year. Inducements to getters up of clubs for the Weekly Sun. Both the Dally and Weekly Sim mailed free of postage vi the United States, Canada and Mexico. Payments invariably in advance. Address A. S. Abeel Company, Publishers and Proprietors. Baltimore, Md. dec 20. What is I Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitcher's prescription for Infants and Children. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. It is a harmless substitute for Paregoric, Drops, Soothing Syrups, and Castor Oil. I It is Pleasant. Its guarantee is thirty years' use by Millions of Mothers. Castoria is the Children's Panacea —the Mother's Friend. Castoria. Castoria. "Castoria isso well adapted to children that Castoria cures Colic, Constipation, 1 recommend it as superior to any prescription Sour Stomach, Biarrhrea, Eructation, Known tome." H. A. Archer, M. D„ Kills Worms, gives sleep, and promote*, ii -111 So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, N. T. gestion, . Without injurious medication. ' The use of ' Castoria' is so universal and •h merits so well known that it seems a work .. For yearg j hare rKOmm ..,.,_ supererogation to endorse it. Few are the your'Casteria,'and i.:k.:l al.vavs cc:.-.. Uirer.t families w'jo do not keep Castoria do as it has invariably produced bja ... in c.. ;.- reach." results." lUartto, D. D., Edwin F. Fart>ee, M. D., New York City. 125 th Street and 7th Aye., New V ork City. The Centabb Company, 77 Jlr-RRAY Street, New Tore City , _ „ < _- ... Stattiiiott UHI Spectator. VOL. 72. DYSPEPSIA Is that misery experienced when suddenly made aware that you possess a diabolical arrangement I Stomach. No two dyspep tkja have the same predominant ynsptoms, but whutrver form jrt'psi i takes ■"' ihfinq cause is LIVES,, is certain no one dyspeptic who will It will correct iityofttK ■ • . All y Irritatioi^ JciiSwand ac the same 'iaaiu.7 time ~ "3 ' the_ Liner working and all bodily ailments will disappear. "For mere than three yej._-s I suffered wirh in Its worst form. I tried several ;vn rs, but they afforded no relief. At last I tried bupraons Liver Regulator, which cured me in a short time. It is a good medic ; ne. I would not be -*-i:liout jtjl—James A. Roane, Philad'a, Pa. ■"Ite that ifou net the Genuine, with red r 7 i on front of wrapper. PREPARED ONLY BY 3. 11. ZElLiri ti CO., FfcOadelgMa.. Pa. nov 28-lvr flours for Arrival and Closing of Mails al Staun ton Poslolce, ARRIVE. BY C. AND O. RAILROAD. 5 a. ni. from north, south, east and west. 9.57 a. m. from west. 2.40 p. m. from Richmond and intermediate points. 7.05 p. m. from north, east and south. BY B. AND O. '.•ii a. m. from Lexington and intermediate points. 1.50 n. m. from the north. 9.09 p. m. from the north. Harper's Ferry and intermediate points. STAR ROUTES. 7 a, "'. from Plunkettsville., daily except Sun day. 10 a. m. from Mt. Meridian, daily except Sun day: sp. m. from Middlebrook, daily except Sun day. 5.30 p. m. from Monterey, daily except Sunday. 10.30 a. in. from Sant ersville. CLOSE. FOR B. AND O. 5.30 a. in. tor Lexington, 6.30 a. in, Harper's Ferry and points north. 8.15 a. m. for Harrisonburg, Woodstock and points north. 1.10 p. ni. for Lexington and intermediate points. 6.00 p. m. for Lexington and intermediate points. for c. and o. 9.15 a. m. and 2,15 p. m. for north, east, south -9.00 p. m. for east, north, south and west. 8.15 p. m. for Clifton Forge and intermediate points. 6.15 p. m. for the west. STAR ROUTES—DAILY EXCEPT SUNDAY. 5.30 a. m. for Monterey. 6.00 a. in. for Middlebrook 1.00 p. m. for Mt. Meridian. 6.15 p. in. for Plunkettsville. 12.30 p. m. for Mt. Solon daily, STAUNTON OFFICE Opens 7a. m., closes 7p. m. Money order and registry business opens at 8 a. m., closes 6 0. m W. T. McCITE. P. M. REMOVAL OF THE LADIES AND KHTLEJEB RESTAURANT! _ o l'lie undersigned have removed their i.adies md vjeutlemen's Restaurant to the lurley .juilding on the corner oi Main and Lewis -treets, where tliey hope thelrold patron* will •all upon tliem as heretofore as they will bo better prepared to accommodate them. They vill take regular boarders, to a number of •viiotn tiiev can furnish lodging or rent rooms is wcii as ooarJ at cheap rates. Kemember ne place —Hurley Bonding, second story, corner Main and Lewis streets. MAKGAUKIi LUCY CAUTKOKK. ieb 3rd PRIZES ON PATENTS. How to get $I OO and Perhaps Make a Fortune. We secure patents and to induce people to keep truck of their bright ideas we offer a prize or one nnndred dollars to be paid on the first of every month to the person who sub mits to us the most merit' iriousi uventi m dn*' ring the preceding month. «c win also ad vertise the invention free of charge in the National Recorder, a weekly newspaper, pub lished in Washington. I». C, which has an ex tensive circulation throughout the United States and Is devoted to the interests of inven tors. Nor so Hard as it Seems. The idea of being able to invent something strikes most people as being very difficult; this delusion the Company wishes to It is the simple tilings aud small inventions that make the grealest amount of money and the com olex ones are seldom profitable. Almost everybody, at some time or another, conceives an idea, which, if patented, would probably be worth to him a fortune. Unfortunatelj such ideas are usually dismissed without th'ught. i'he simple inventions like the car window which could be easily slid up and down with out breaking the passenger's back, the sauce pan, tho collar button, the nut lock, thebottle stopper, the snow shovel, are things that al most everyone sees some way of improving upon, and it is these kind of inventions that bring the greatest returns to the author. The prize we offer will be paid at the end of each month, whether the application has been acted upon by the Patent Office or lot. Every competitor must apply 'or a patent on his in vention through us, and whether he secures the prize or not, the inventor will have a valu able patent. THE PRESS CLAIMS COMPANY, John Wedderburs. Gen'l Manager, 616 F St. N. W. Washington, D. C. P. S.—The responsibility of this company may lie judged from the fact that its stock is held by about seventeen hundred of the lead ing newspapers of the United States. dee 19-tf THE ODD TRICK, "Lucile!" "Eh? I bog your pardon, Gilbert. Did you speak to me?" "Speak to. you? I asked yon three times to give me another cup of coffee." ' "Did you, denr? I'm so sorry I" and Mrs. Coriu extended a slim white hand for the coffee cap. "May I ask what ha engrossed your thoughts?" inquired her husband, a lit tle irritably. Lucile smiled. "Ob, you'll only laugh i at mo if I tell you." '•'Never mind. What was it?" reiter ated her husband, a little mollified. "I —I was thinking of some lovely TurLieh embroidery they showed me at Liberty's yesterday, and"— "My dear girl, what can you possibly do with Turkish embroidery?' 1 inter rupted Mr. Coriu impatiently. "Well, do you kaew that's what I've been wondering over since, and I've just discovered"— "But"— "Yes," continued Lucile, regardless of the impertinent monosyllable, "I think it would look perfectly lovely to trim a tea gown. It could outline a sort of crepo de chine, you know, and un derneath"— "Tut, tut! I don't want you decked out like a houri in a harem." "Gilbert!" "I don't like all these newfangled things women get up in to look like fig ures on a Japanese fan"— "But, my dear husband, there's noth ing Japanese about Turkish embroid ery!" exclaimed Lucile as she pushed back her chair from the breakfast table. "Never mind; I don't like it. Be sides you are really too extravagant, Lucile. I cannot see tho necessity for all these wonderful toilets." "My dear Gilbert, don't talk abont things you don't understand." And, gathering up the small pile of letters that were besido her plate, Mrs. Corin made her way to the door. "Oh, by the way, " said her husband, a little hesitatingly, "do you very much mind giving up the Claytons' ball to night?" "Giving up their ball! Why, in the name of all that's reasonable, should I do that?" "Becauso I ask you. " Mrs. Corin shrugged her shoulders iv silence. "You will writo to excuso yourself?" "Certainly not. Why, I've got a per fect dream of a gown to wear, and I mean to thoroughly enjoy myself." "That is to say you intend to make yourself conspicuous by your flirtations, as usual." Lucile laughed. "1 will not allow it. You shall not go on in this ridiculous fashion. " "My dear Gilbert, don't you think that it is you who u'e ridiculous just now? You silly fellow," sho continued, drawing near him, "what does it matter to yon if half the men in the room are in love with me when you know that I'm not in love with them? There, don't talk Djnsense, and bo off to your ride." "Why don't you come, too?" asked her husband, half mollified again. "I—oh, no! Couldn't possibly spare the time, dear. Heaps of things to do and letters to write! Goodby for tbe present." And with a hughing farewell she tripped out of the room. The smiles, hoy 'ever, vanished as she sank into a low chair in her boudoir and picked ono yiote out of tho heap that lay in her lap. Mrs. Coriu's pretty dimples disappeared and her brows con tracted into a frown as sho read: Dear Mils. Cokis—You know, of course, that lam engaged to Miss Kathleen Mayse. Don't under the circumstances it would be better for yon to r turr me some vt ry fool ish effusions of mine whii ii you stilt hnvef 1 am sure you will see the advisability >:f this and will be <■;'>.i:l enough to give the packet to my friend Applegarth, who will call upon you at 12 this morning. Yours sincerely, W. E. "I shall do nothing of the sort," ex claimed Lucile when she had reread the letter for the third time. "Engaged to Kathleen Mayse, indeed! Engaged to her thousands, he ought to have said— a horrid, plain, little, red haired thing without an idea in her head. It is per fectly disgusting, the things men will do for money, but I did think Wilfrid was different. I did believe in him at least. " And she rose from her chair in dignantly. "Why, not a year ago, he was; ready to blow his brains out because I would not marry him, and now"— She finished her sentenco with a dra matic gesture worthy of Duse herself. A dangerous little person sho looked as she paced up and down tho pretty bou doir. The fact was that Mrs. Corin was suffering acutely from the complaint which in our nursery days we called "dog in the mangerness. " Married before the close of her first season to a man whoso hold on life and fortune was more unstable than any one had supposed, at 21 she was left a widow with an income which allowed small margin for opera boxes or Pari sian toilets, both of which, with tout cc que s'eu suit, were exceedingly dear to the little woman's heart. Launched among a certain set, however, she was • swimming with the stream to no very |afe port when Gilbert Corin—an elder ly banker—came, saw and was con quered. Some one says somewhere that there are no wedding bells which do not ring tho knell of somebody's happiness, and certainly on Locale's second marriage morning Wilfrid Endicott might well have been dubbed the "Knight of the Rueful Countenance " Ho and the pret ty little widow had, for some time be fore Conn's appearance upon tho scene, been engaged in a very serious flirtation —so serious indeed that when her elder ly suitor declared himself, aud Lucile murmured the fateful "Yes," sho had a nearer approach to a qualm of con science than she had ever experienced. Without doubt had Wilfrid been suit ably endowed with this world's goods there would have been small chance for Gilbert; but, as things were, "marriage was a luxury they could not afford," as Lucile told the angry young man when ho came to upbraid her for her faith lessness The little woman was not with- j out a taste for dramatic situations, and on the whole she rather enjoyed her farewell interview with Wilfrid. She wept a little iv a becoming fashion and gavo utterance to a lew sentiments of the "Blanche Amory" typo and ended by saying that sho would liko to keep bis litters as a souvenir cf their "dream." Though eho had laid express com mands ou Wilfred as to their conduct to each other after her marriage, Lrfcile iiad no intention of their bt;ng obeyed. Un fortunately, however, and as every silver lining has its dark cloud, Gilbert Corin was as jealous as a Aloor, and some STAUNTON, VA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH <>, 1895. wiiiSLiers concerning ms who mm r,mn cott having reached his cars it was j speedily mado clear to Wilfrid that Mr. Corin was by uo means likely to find a ' place among the maris complaisanta Acting; on the principle that when a man's heart is broken he gathersup the pieces and melts them together again at 1 the nearest candle, Wilfrid had gono to Kathleen Mayso for consolation, which consolation was possibly all the mors ' effectivo that, as a setoff to bet red hail and hazel eyes, tho young lr.dy was solo heiress to one of the richest iron found ers in England. The engagement had brcn formally i announced a fow days ago, and some how Lueile's maid had not found that her lot lay among the lilies and roses of life ever silica, and this letter capped everything—tho calmly impersonal tone of it —it might have been from any one to :;.iy one--:;.id her hands clinched as she thought of the contents of the packet i that she was sj summarily called on to deliver up to this Mr. Applegarth. Mrs. Corin unlocked a drawer in her writing table and took out a small par ed neatly tied up and docketed: "Letters from W., June—August, 1803." She untied it aud glaucod over one or two of tbe nio.-t passionate. "To think that he could write like that and then be so utterly faithless," sho exclaimed. "I've a great mind to i send the whole lot to that little Mayse girl!" Sho paused. It would be a de lightfully dramatic thing to do. It sa vored of French novels and Dumas' plays. "No, no. It wouldn't be safe. There's no knowledge, she might make a scandal, and if it got to Gilbert's ears it might be awkward. No, I suppose there's nothing to do, after all, but meekly deliver them up. How wretch edly tame! What a stupid,commonplace ending! 'You've come for a parcel for Mr. Endicott? So sorry to have given you so much trouble Thank yon. Good morning.' No, I won't! I can't lot it end like that Wilfrid shall come for them himself, of course. I'll tell this man so. He shall come tomorrow morn ing. I'll receive him here, and we will say our last goodby. " And Mrs. Corin's busy brain imme diately went to work with the mise en scene—the gown she would wear, the attitudo sho would assume, the words she would use—ah, Wilfrid should re member that interview, she was telling herself, when the maid brought her a rard. "Show Mr. Applegarth in here." He bowed a littlo 6tiffly as he ad vanced, and certainly, if ho was suffer ing from nervousness, Lucile's manner was not calculated to reassure him. "Mr. Applegarth, will you be good enough to sit down?" Tho young man took the seat she in dicated, and began: "Endicott told mo that yoa would be i kind enough to receive me, and"— "May I ask what else Mr. Endicott has thought fit to tell you?" Applegarth looked up iv surprise—it was rather the tone ono might use to a presuming footman. "No doubt you are acquainted with tho whole story," sho continued loftily. "I am aware that there aro certain letters of Endicott's in your possession, which he thinks you wor.i»l be glad to get rid of, and as such things occasion- ' ally miscarry in tho post ho fancied that the simplest way would bo for yoa to give the'ii into my charge. Th.it is all I know of or i are for in tbe matter. " "Why did not Mr Endicott come for them himself?" Applegarth suppressed a Einilo. 'It wool I not have In en quite i would it? He i not, I believe, a rcgn tar visitor at your house. " "Neither aro yon " "True; but I ;uu aiioatotal stranger, whereas ho was—l mean every one knows that jou—that is," ho concluded hurriedly, "as yua were formerly ac quaintances comments might be made if ho were seen doing so unusual a thing as calling upon you. " "Oh, is Miss Mayse so jealous, then?" Tho embassador became interested in a minute speck upon his coat sleeve, ' and made no reply. "Here aiu the letters," continued | Lucile, after a pause, holding np the lit- i tie packet, "but you can tell Mr. Endi cott from me that unless ho conies for ■ them himself they shall not leave my hands"— "Bnt, Mrs. Corin"— "I am quite determined. Your friend can call upon mo tomorrow morning at 11:30. I shall beqnitefree then,and" — "He cannot possibly do that"— "Why not?" "He has to travel np to the north this avening with Mr. Mayso on business, md ho is particularly anxious that"— "What can it possibly matter to him traetber the letters remain with me a few days longer? Is he afraid that I may address them to Miss Mayse by mistake?" Applegarth's hurried denial was a ] trifle too emphatic not to have a doubt- ; ful ring about it, and Mrs. Corin was too keen not to notice it. Ho was afraid of her. Then he would put off tho jour ney and come to her. "Let me entreat you, Mrs. Corin, to reconsider the matter. It would make things so much easier for every one if you would trust me! Won't you seal np the letters and let me take them away?" "I have already told you that I will give them to uo one but to Mr. Endi cott"— "But"— "My mind is made up. Thank yon very much for all the trouble you have taken, and excuse me if I must wish you {,ood morning. I have somo shop ping to do." Applegarth rose. "If you would"— he began, when suddenly a man's voice sounded with out. "Mrs. Corin is in the boudoir, you said?" "My husband!" exclaimed'Lncile in consterna ion. "What shall I do?" Applegarth looked iv surprise at her changed countenance. Was tho worthy banker a veritable Othello that sho ap peared so alarmed aB she stood there, tho letter still in her hand. Ah tho han dle of the door turned she looked round wildly for some hiding place for them, and then suddenly catching sight of a palo green cardboard box, with a big gold "Liberty" painted upon it, she flung them hastily into it, jammed down the lid and sunk into a chair just as Mr. Coriu appeared en the threshold. "Lucile— Oh, I beg pardon," he added, stopping as he noticed Apple garth and glaring at him with an air of suspicion. "I did not know that yon were engaged," he continued, address ing his wife, who was nervously fidget ing with her rinfs in a way that was anything but reassuring. "Havo I disturbed you?" Applegarth stepped forward quickly. 'I was endeavoring to persuade Mrs. Corin to purchase some of our newly imported goods." "Then"— "I am a traveler of Messrs. Liberty sec," Se eonnnuea tioif.fy, the box, while Lucile gazed at him with wide open eyes. "I see,"said Corin without relaxing hia frown. "You've come about the Turkish embroidery, I suppose. " "Exactly," replied Applegartb promptly. ' 'It seems to me that shopkeepers de quite enough in their chowrooms to in duce people to spend money uselessly without pestering them at home. " "We only ventnre to call on our old customers," explained the young man apologetically, "and really this em broidery is bo very beautiful." "Yes, I daro say," interrupted tbe banker, "but I particularly dislike that sort of thing. So gaudy and"— "Oh, excuso me, I assure yo'? the col ors are most baejutiful! "My good man!" exclaimed Mr. Corin, cheeking what looked like a tend ency to display his wares, "it's quito useless. Mrs. Corin does not wish for any of your embroidery. " "Oh, but I do, Gilbert," pnt in Lu cile anxiously. "I do very nro-h." "There is afovely stiipheic for £20," interposed .tepriegarth at random. "Twenty pwMs!" cried the banker. "Twenty pounds! Perfectly preposter ous. Certainly not. We don't want your embroidery; we won't have it, do yon understand? Good morning." "Good morning," replied the other quietly, taking up the bandbox. "Oh, but won't you leave the box?" cried Lucile hurriedly, "perhaps"— "No, no, take it away; I hate that sort of thing lumbering up the place." Applegarth bowed, and the door olosed on him—and the box. The next moment Lucile's sobs caused her hus band to turn toward her with astonish ment. "What on earth is the matter?" A" fresh burst of weeping was his only answer. "What's wrong, Lucile?" "You — are—so—unkind—to—me," came brokenly from behind the flimsy bit of embroidered muslin that did duty for a handkerchief. "Unkind? Whatnonsense! Because 1 won't let you throw away money by handfuls on mere nonsense?" "It isn't nonsense. Besides you al ways say that—you never do anything to please me now!" "My dear child,"die said soothingly as the little frame shook with hysteric al emotion. "Oh, I know, you don't care about me now. Yon think I'm silly and friv olous and"— "I think you tbe sweetest little goose in the world," he ejaculated as he drew her hands away from her faco and look ed into a pair of blue eyes that possessed tho rare and enviable quality of looking all tho prettier through a few tears. "No, you don't," and a big drop that had trembled on the eyelashes fell with a splash upon his hand, and Lucile knew by experience that the battle was won. "You never let mo have my own way." "Is it about tho ball tonight?" he asked coaxingly. "I didn't mean it, of course.'' "It isn't that," shesaid, withashake of the head, aud only half yielding to his encircling arm. "Surely you wouldn't cry about the embroidery, darling?" "I did want it so much, and'"— "You silly child! Well, dry tho tears. You shall have it. We'll send after the man at once. Ho can't have got very I fur, or I'll go round to Liberty's myself. Will that do?" Before Lucile could answer, however, tho maid appeared at the door holding the fateful green box. "Please, madam, tho gentlem -i said that perhaps the box hail better oe left till the firm's cart called for it." "There, isn't that lucky?" said Mr. Corin as he smilingly placed tbe box ou his wife's lap. "Now you've got all you want." a # a # v a But having taken ont every "oparate piece of embroidery several times Mrs. Corin did not think it so lucky. She found that she had by no means got all she wanted, and whilo she cried with rage Wilfrid Endicott and his friend shouted with laughter. Of such con trasts is our little life composed.—Lon don Truth. iLudicroas Rage. Possibly as ludicrous a thing as ever happened was tbe experience of my friend, Professor Roswell Park of Buf falo. A man's life had been saved by the beautiful surgical skill of a success ful laryugotomy. When health had been restored, my friend proposed to his pa tient the insertion of an artificial larynx, so that vowel tones, or true voice, could be added to the whisper that necessarily resulted bona tho absence of the vocal chords. This apparently highly desir able thing was done, but the tone, ol j course, was uniform. There was no change of pitch posisble to the mechan ical larynx, and expression, modulation, timbre—everything that makes voice pleasant and more than useful was ab sent. The man could speak, convey ideas perfectly, but when he tried to give emphasis, nuances, shadings, di-, verse meanings and especially when he tried to express emotion, anger or resent ment there were only the monotonous drone and squeak of the intolerable ma chine. Nothing could control the con vulsive laughter of the surgeon and as sistants. Tho poor man's indignation sought outlet in speech, but the very words of wrath were turned to outra geous absurdity by the infernal device. In a spasm of ebullient rage ho tore the mechanism out of his throat, cursed the man who had saved his life and is probably running and hoarsely whisper- ; ing invectives at him still. Ho never came back.—Dr. George M. Gould's "Meaning and Method of Life. " Stevenson and Carlyle. Robert Louis Stevenson used to tell this story of his early days: He was en tering in an absentminded way the fa mous secondhand bookshop of James Stillio when he ran into a fuming old gentleman who was leaving tho estab lishment. The latter ejaculated in an angry tone, "Man, can ycu not look whero you aro going!" Stevenson apolo gized for his awkwardness and was then confronted by Air. Stillie, who was also excited. The bookseller exclaimed: "The creature has been trying to make out that an old book I sold him is spu rious I He may bo ablo to write, but he knows nothing about black letter books. He's the most disagreeable customer that ever entered my shop!" "Who is he?" asked Stevenson. "Oh, that's the great Mr. Thomas Carlyle," wa.? the answer Wife —William, i cio tliluK our uy, are the worst I ever saw. I'm sure the;; don't get it from me. Husband (.snappishly)—Well, they don't get it from me. Wife (reflectively)—No, William; you seem to have all yours yet.— Detroit Free Press. PUNCTUATION. When y.a wish t • road r.t a headlong speed Or to write a sen :i nee fleetly, You should mind your stops, or the meaning : drops. And sense p ts lost completely. So I wVito Ifct so Ha s to commend the signs Which we use in our punctuation. For the sign that's best, though I like the rest , la the note of interrogation Now, :i clever child hr.; been i-nr.ctimcs styleu Th-: most pi rfeet type of beauty, Eut (he infant mind is to knowledge blind, Sn to touch is an cider's duty. Yet i would not ask for a lirirder task Than a juvenile's odacattan. For each child I know, until twelve or so. Is a note of interrogation , It is passing sweet to a maid to m*-efc With the touch of the tcnc'T passion, When a iover lice i-; r.t head to woo In the old but immortal f.:.-hion, And the girls all lot:}! i'or the same sivnt song Of a lovo throughout life's dozatiaa. On its sweet strci is llioy dote, but its sweet est not.' Is the uutj ot Interrogation. —Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. What She Missed. "Did yon have a good rest over at your Sister Mary's?" asked one of Mrs. Jennie Woolson's ueighbjrs. "I s'poso I had a good rest enough," answered Mis. Woolson. "I didn't I have a thing to do for a week. But I was as homesick an lonesome as an old cat." "Why, 1 thought they'd entertain you first ratej" exclaimed the neighbor. "I understood Mary kep'- a hirod girl and lived real stylish. "Well, so she does," admitted Mrs. Woolson. "An they did everything they could for me. But Mary's husband's shop is right across the street, an he's always homo just on tho tick for his meals. An she's got a hired girl that's just as capable as sbo can bo an don't need a mite o' lookin after. An her two boys are just like little clocks—l never see two sech stiddy young ones in all my days." "Well, I should think you'd have had a real peaceful time, "said the neigh bor. "I did," returned Mrs. Woolson, "but it want like what I'm used to. There want a thing for me to worry about from moruin till night—an I missed the excitement; that's jest what the trouble was. An I come home two days before my visit was out because I got so dreadful low iv my mind I be gun to feel kinder sick." "You look all right now," said the neighbor, with a glance at Mrs. Wool son's red cheeks. "Mossy sakes, yesl Why, when Cyrus met me at the depot yesterday, he said fust thing that he thought by tho looks of the corn 'twas all dryw up, an we shouldn't have anythin to pay for all he'd spent on tiie field this year, ai he said that Miry looked to hint as if she was comiii >:; ." ; :. lies an Johnny had cat sometlnu that he reck oned was p'ison tho day before, an was liable to bo took sick any minute. An, lawzee, I begun to feel jest as homey an contented as ever I was in my life. An by the time wo drove up to the door I was all chippered up an ready for any thing!"— Youth's Companion. SHE TAUGHT HIM A LESSON. A Traveling Man Who Discovered That lio Annoyed the \Vrong s Girl. As the drummer came into the smoker a man in tho corner got up and went out rather hurriedly. "You seeni to havo a bad effect on that party," remarked a man from Chi cago. "Well, yes," langhed the drummer; "ho doesn't like to s:eo me around." "Who is he?" "I don't know his name, but I hap pened to see him utterly put to rout' on a train once, and now whenever he sees mo he feels better to get out of the way. " "Whatwss it? Tell us about it," camo in chorns. "He's one of the kind of traveling men who aro always discreditable to tbe profession, and 1 think ho travels for some third rate house in New York. 1 never saw him until the day I saw him get what he deserved, and from what I have seen of bim since I should say it had taught him a valuable lesson. It was ou a train going out of Louisville, and there was a pretty girl ahead, who was of tho typo that grows into virago hood perhaps, but of that let nsnot talk. In any event, she had a section in the middlo of tho car, aud this fellow came in, and after looking the territory over sat down where ho could look into her face. There was no other person ou that side of the car, and only two old ladies and myself on tho other. He had just begun to ogle tho girl by grinning aud gazing at her when sho changed her place and turned her back on him. In a few minutes he had taken tho seat be yond and had begun his operations again. She stood it some time and changed hir position again. He did the same, waiting quite a little while, so as not to attract too much attention. She changed again, aud he went to tbe smoker. Then I stepped over and asked her if she needed my services in stop ping the annoyance. She thanked me and said sho would attend to it herself. Pretty soon he came back and sat down facing her again, with a smile as if he thought ho was having a great joke. She changed again, and so did ha This tirno I could see her cheeks redden and oould almost hear her eyes snap as she reached over and opened a little hand bag by her side. She took from it :i re volver, and as she looked up again she nodded and smili d as it she wanted him to conio to bei Bnt sho didn't, though it looked t; t way when she got up and taking mlt . Eps sf lin front of bim Then she shoved tbe revolver close to his face. " 'There,' she said, loud enough for us all to hear, 'that's loaded, and if you look at me again I'll put a portion of its contents into your ugly face.' "Sho trembled so as she spoke that tho revolver shoe': in her hand, bnt she turned and walking firmly bick to her place, sat down again, and the remark able part of it was sho sat so if he raised his face he would look directly at her. But he didn't raise his face. He slunk out toward tho smoker, and he never came back. I've met him several times since," concluded the drummer, "but I have never seen him so much as look tho second time at a lady on a train." — Dotroit Freo Press. , Can Drive a Bargain. The small nephew of a friend re ceived 15 cents from his father a few days ago and was told to get his hai7 cut. The boy walked boldly into tb« barber shop and put this question tc tho tonsorialist: "Say, mister, can you give me 14 cents' worth of hair cut?" The barber said he could and gave the boy the regulation cut. Tbe young ster then blew in his penny for taffy, and it was his smeared face that led Srst to suspicion and then to confession jf what he bad done.—New York World. ' • NO. 26. JUST LIKE A WOMAN. i i i ; THIS IS WHAT A "BEAR OF A MAN SAYS ABOUT LOCOMOTIVES. - I Iron Horses Are Freaky Creatures and Fall of Whims Some of the Odd Thing* They Uo—They Seem lo Have Instincts Jnst Like Live Horses. That locomotives aro freaky creatures j | and deserve classification as "she"—for ' uo ono ever heard of an engineer calling j his machine anything else—is attested [ by William H Crawford, chief of the I constructing engineers' corps of tb.9 j Baldwin works "It is..ot an uncommon expression, " said Cnief Crawford, "to hear that such j and such a thing works with the regu larity of a machine, and one ia not sur prised when n a comparison is made, for machines are supposed to work with mathematical regularity and never to vary from the speed or action to which they are set The locomotive, though, is a striking exception to this rule. It I seems decidedly opposed at times to a monotonously perfect performance of its work, and to rid itself of tho depressing effect of sameness it indulges in the most fanciful and inexplicable freaks, driving its master into bewildering wonder. To attempt to tell you all its curious ways would be as great an un dertaking as to tell why a woman does thus and so. In this respect there is a great similarity between locomotives and women. "No one ever heard of an engineer speaking of his machine as 'he,' and no one ever will unless it becomes niore submissive to reason or less inclined to act according to its own whims and caprices. Thus an engineer must know his engine before he can manage it. He cannot mount a cab in which he has never sat before and obtain good work. He must become familiar with its hab its and ways, and whenever he changes engines he has to begin all over again. Engineers do not like to go out on any other engine. They never gain complete mastery over any, bnt approach it nearer when they have been on one for some time. This seems strange, in view of the fact that there are so few levers to be controlled to manage a locomotive. The only parts of tbe machine necessary to be touched to move an engine for ward, back it or bring it to a stop are the throttle, the revereo lever and the air i brake The throttle is the controller of j tho main valve, which admits or shuts j off steam to the cylinder. The rev n I lever mis over a semicircular bar of i iron, in which there'aro several notches. When this lever is thrown open, the en ! gine trill move forward To reverse it ever is thro . .......aid. | The only other lever necessary to be j used jovenbi tiio braJtM, "Like horses, engines seem to know who holds the reins. An engineer on an engine not his own is at an ntter loss what to do if it begins playing tricks, one of the most common of which is running away. Tho onginocr will get ont of the cab, leaving the machine standing quietly and submissively as can be, when of ■ sudden it starts along tho track at top speed aud genorally keeps on running until steam is exhaust ed nnless it- rnns into another train and is brought to a sudden stop. Just why engines do this is a mystery. How the throttle opens itself or how it can run with the throttle closed is beyond tho knowledge of engineers, but they do it and sometimes play havoc too. "Another trick is foaming. Without warning the water in the boiler will begin to foam, and instead of generat ing .steam will bubblo like a teakettle. This can bo remedied, though, by tak ing a new supply of water. It is an old trick for discharged employees and dur ing strikes to have a piece of soap drop ped in tho boiler to produce this effect Often, too, it will go 'lame.' This hap pens when the eccentric is slipped or it does not 'cough' properly. The eccentrics work on the axle of the main driver, and often tho outer ring will slip and fall on tho axiu. As thty work the steam chest, the supply is cnt off when one of them slips, and the engine comes to a standstill. 'Coughing' is not the resnlt of a cold, but is the discharge of the steam from the cylinder after it has been nsed. There ought to be four 'coughs' to every revolution of the driving wheels, bnt when tho valves choke it will 'cough' only once or twice, and the relief is a large dose of oil. "One of the oddest freaks of an en gine is jumping. Ido not mean to tell of the wonderful tales of engines leap ing across canyons when bridges were gone, but frequently when running at a high rate of speed, if some small ob struction is met on the track, the engine will jump 10 or 12 inches and drop squarely on the rails again. These are a few of the ailments a locomotive is subject to, and they begin as soon as it leaves the shop and continue until it is consigned to the junk pile. "—Philadel phia Inquirer. Philadelphia Broil. In Philadelphia we have what is known as tbe "Philadelphia broil," which, by the way, is not a broil at all. The oysters are cooked after the follow ing fashion: Drain the oysters; put the liquor over the fire; boil and skim it; for each 20 oysters allow a tablespoonful of butter, which pnt in a sauet pan and brown; add a tables;, loufiil of browned floor; then add a ball pint of the oy.-ter liquor, wbicbbasbeen boiled and skimmed; stir the mixture until boiling; add half a fate of , sherry and a tablespoonful of paprica. Turn all this into a double boiler and add a teaspoonful of "Kitchen Bou quet. " Have very hot an ordinary rjke griddle; brush it lightly with buttei. throw on a few oysters at a time. As soon as they brown and cnrl turn and throw them at once into the saucepan, and so continue until all the oysters are broiled. The griddlo must be very hot, or the juice of tho oyster will prevent the browning. —Household News, Tea In China. Numerous volumes have been written by Chinese authors on tea and on its preparation. Tho well known writer, Lu-U, has, among others, produced an exhaustive work on tho preparation of this beverage. Tho Chinese lovo to dis cuss matters pertaining to their favorite plant, and many curious lines appeal in tho national literature in praise of this fragrant herb. As a rula tho Chinese prepare their tea thus: A Ni-Hung pet, made of a species of terra cotta, with an unvar nished interior, is partially filled with rain or spring water and allowed to boil until a few bubbles begin to rise. It is then taken off tho fire, and the tea is thrown in, when it is allowed to stand for five minutes at tho most Good tea when ready for use should be clear and baroly yellow in color. —London Illus trated News. j 11 tarorton Bpectator, RATES?OF AOVER . ISINC Advertisements are inserted at the rate of l- - cents per line, (or tbe flrst. and 6'»' canto for each subsequent Insertion. Local Notices are inserted at the rate of W cents per line for the flrst, and 10 cento for each subsequent insertion. Business Notices are inserted at the rate of 15 cents tor the flrst and 8 cents tor each sub sequent insertion. A liberal discount will be made on all'ordcM for U.«. or 12 months. Obituaries, Announcements ot Candidates for offlce, and all communications of a person a! or private character, will be charged for an advertisements. AWBEOg 1 . ons exhaust • ion, nervous debility, impaired memory, low spirits, irritable temper, and a thou ■ saud and ono derangements of mind and! | body. Epilepsy, paralyris, softening of the brain and even dread insanity sorna- I times result from such reckless self-abuse. To reach, reclaim and restore such unfort j nnates to health and happiness, is tbe aim of the publishers of a l>ook written in plain but' i chaste langu-igc, on the nature, srmptoma' ; and curability, by home treatment", of suck, diseases, luis book will be sent sealed, in. plain envelope, on receipt of ten cents in stamps to pay postage. Address, World's Dispensary Medical A*. soaation, C 63 Main St„ Buffalo, iTy. aprii IK-Iyr BICKLE & HAM RICK UNDERTAKING PARLOR N09.11 AND 13 W. FREDERICK STREET, NEXT TO JESSER'S We keep constantly on hand fhe Inert ttacX of goods in our line ever seen In the city of Staunton. All the latest 9tyles and novel tics. Calls attended day and night. FUNERAL OUTFITTED In every detail and under careful personal at tentlon BICKLE & RAMRICK au»; 4-tf N os. and W.Frederick St. CHURCH DIRECTORY. First Presbyterian Church, on Frederick By between New and Market streets, services II a. m. and Bp. m. Pastor, Rev. A. M. Fraser Second Presbyterian church corner Freder Ick and Lewis streets. Services at 11 a. in and 8. Pastor, Rev. Wm. Cununlng. Emmanuel Episcopal Church, worship at Y. M. C. A. Hall. Services at 11 a. m., and Bp. m. Rector, Rev. R. C. Jett. Trinity Episcopal church. Main street, be tween Lewis and Church streets. Services at U a. m., and Bp. m. Rector, Rev. W. Q. Hul lihen United Brethren church, Lewis street, be tween Main and Johnson streets. Services at 11 a. m md Bp. m. Pastor, Rev. J. D Don ovan. Methodist church, Lewis street, between Main and Frederick streets. Services at U m. aud Bp. m. Pastor, Rev. J. H. Boyd, D. D Christ Evangelical Lutheran church. Lew is street, between Main and Frederick street* Services at 11 a. m. and 8 p. m. Pastor Rev. Hi F. Shealy. Baptist church, cornei Main and Washing ion streets. Services at 11 a. m. and 8 p. m Pastor, Rev. w. j c. Cox. St. Francis Roman CathoUc, North August! street. Mass at 7 and 10.30 a. m. Vespers and benediction of Most Blessed Sacrament *t p. m. Pastor, Rev. Father McVerrv. Young Men's Christian Association, corner Main and Water streets. Services at 1 p. m. Sunda . OIRETORY OF LODG EB. MASONIC LODGE. Staunton Lodge No. la, A. F. and A. M., meet! every second and last Friday night In each month, in Masonic Temple, Main street. Jas M. Liokliter.w. v ; U. A. Eskridge, Secy. UNION ROYAL AHC'H CHAPTER. No. 2, meets third Friday in every month, in Masonic '1 emple, on Main street. W. W. Mc Guftln, High Priest: A. A. Eskridge, Secy. ODD FELLOWS' LODGE.; Staunton Lodge. No. 4T>, I. O. O. F. meets cv cry Ttua-sda\ night in Odd Fellows' Hall, ovei Wayt's drug store, on Maui street. John C Fretwell Noble Grand: C. A. Craftou, See.' . KNIGHTS OF HONOI/ ODGE. Staunton Lodfco, No. 756, of Honor meets every first iL-i-J third Tuesday In each month, In Pythian Hall, Main street. W. h. Olivier. Dictator; W. A. Burnett, Recorder. MOUNTAIN CITY LODGE. No. 118,1. O. G. T., meets every Friday night In 1 heir lodge room over Wayt's drug store on Main street. A. S. Woodhouse, Chief Templar F. n. Kennedy, Secy. DISTRICT LODGE. No. 22,1. O. G. T., meet! every three months £;<,£.-? * i ii ple >"' D - G - T - : s - H - BausermTn District Secretary. ROYAL ARCANTJM. Augusta Council, No. 490, Boyal Arcanum meets every second and fourth Tuesday In ths month, at Pythian Hall, Main street. W. w. Robertson, Regent; Jos. B.Woodward, Sec retary. SONS OF TEMPERANCF Charity Division, M. A., Sons of Temperance meets every Monday night at Odd Fellows" all. W. A. Rapp, Worthy Patriarch; John U. Coffelt, Secy. UNIFORMED RANK, KNiGHTS OF PYTHIAS. E. B. Stuart Division, No. 10, meets second and fourth Mondays each month at Pythian HaU. SB-Knight Captain. F. B. Berkley; » Knight Recorder, S. H. Rosenbaum. KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS. VaJley Lodge, No. 18. K. of P.. meets Monday night at Castle HaU. on West street, over Dr. W&yt'» dm* store. C. T. Ham mond. Chancellor i omniaiider , Albes Keener of Kecords and Seal. KMGHT TEMPLARS. StauntonCuniiiiHici.lv, So.n. Knights Tern plar, meets Hist Urhi«\ night in ever} month :. Masonic Temple, on Main street. W. B. McChesnoy, Eminent Commander; A. A. E k ridge, itecorder. ONEIDA TRIBE, NO. 88,1. O. R. M., Meets in their wigwam, in Valz Building every Wednesday at 7th run 30th breath setting of the sun. S. S. Peterson, sacher Tmihus W. Blackburn, chief of records. J visiting brothers welcome. AMERICAN LEGION nF HONOR. Valley Council No. to meets on the first arc third Mondays in each month. Commando- A. S. Woodhouse; secretary. Dr. J. M. Hange collector, Isaac C. Morton, Jr. CATHOLIC HIBERNIAN BENIFICAU SOCIETY.) Meets first Sunday In every month In tbelr hall on the church lot. M. f, B presi dent: J. J. Kllgalen. first vice-president: J. J Murphy, second vice-president; D.J. O'Connell recording secretary. "STONEWALL" BRIGADE BAND. ■ Band meets every Monday and Thursday orchestra, every Wednesday, at 8 p. m.. in City Hall. Mr. J. M. Breretou, director, T. \. Art> entrout, president, and C. Harry Haines, secretary. CENTRAL PROHIBITION CLUB. jde.t on Thursday night of each week, In the uo room, IU Kast Mam street. Jas .W. Bod y, Act'ng President; Preston A. Ross, Secre a-y CHAMBER OF COMMERCE. Monthly meetings. Fourth Tuesday In the month at 7:30 o'clock. Hoom in City Hall build lag taiaiM mss> uresUeiu; J.C.Shields, «cor tarr.