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The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, March 08, 1870, Image 2

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(Iljc Stimcs, New Bloomftettr, J3a
wife, then, he argued, ancf he had .faith
that her love would be strong enough to
bind her to him. Her father could not
tako her from him, and he should be
Huro of her. A ud he gave them to un
derstand that he was rich, ' and being a
stranger in the State, no one was able to
contradict him, and his accepting a clerk
ship in a store was cited as a proof uf his
energy and industry, and a bright exam
ple tor other young nieu of wealth to
follow. Well, what do you suppose this
fellow did at last ?"
" I I dou't know," sho stammered,
confused by his steady gaze.
" No, and you would never guess.
When the wedding-day was fixed, and
this beautiful girl already to bestow her
self upon him, he left the country and
fled like a second Cain."
" Fled !" sho gasped, turning deadly
pale, and trembling from head to foot.
He looked a little surprised at her emo
tion, but resumed :
" Yes, he fled out of the country, and
staid three years, and people believed that
in some inexplainablc way he dropped out
uf existence. Ho justified himself fur
taking this strange step, on the ground
that it was better than deceiving them
until tho girl was his wife, and it was too
late for her to escape tho disgrace he
knew they would call it. lie was too
weak to face tho anger of her father and
bvothcr,and so he took this coward's way.
"Well, after three years he came back, for
tho face of this girl hauuted him perpet
ually, and perhaps he had some sort of
vague hope that fate might yet briug
them together, lie employed a man, a
stranger to himself, to travel tlirough the
Eastern States and inquire concerning
this family. The man returned with the
news that tho young lady had lately mar
ried a man twice her years, but possessed
uf great wealth. And so tho dream fa
ded, aud he set himself to the acquire
ment of wealth, and succeeded, but still
through all the long years there was a
teuderucss in his heart for this woman,
aud no other could ever take tho place
she had once occupied, and he fancied
none other ever could. But one day ho
met a woman whom he loved instantly.
lie did not know it himself, but he did.
He saw her day after day and the truth
at last dawned upon him that with all a
man's most passionate love he loved this
woman. But ho resolved never to de
ceive, in the slightest thing, another wo
man whom he loved. Sho should know
all his past weakness and duplicity, as
well as tho fact of his previous attach
ment. There, tho story is told ; do you
think if he came to this woman and told
her his love in a few bold, honest words,
that she could forgive and overlook his
past errors, provided she loved him'?"
" I think she could yes," she replied,
softly, a faint bloom stealing into her
cheeks.
" Could you do it, Mrs. Dinsmoro ?"
bending over her till his breath swept her
cheek, and looking eagerly into the down
cast face.
Yes, Lancelot, I think I could," she
replied, lilting her eyes suddenly to his
face.
" My God ! Lctty !" he gasped, drop
ping her baud, aud turning deadly white.
Mrs. Dinsmoro had no water, no vola
tile salts and something must be done to
restore him immediately. She adopted a
novel remedy ; sho put ono little soft
hand about his neck and kissed him on
tho lips 1 I am happy to record the com
plete success or the experiment. Mr
Montford revived with astonishing sud
denness, apparently strongly impressed
with the truth of the old adage, that
(i ono good turn deserves another," though
certainly he could not have thought the
pretty, blushing face held against his
breast either cold or unconcious.
" You have not known me all this time,
love '(" he asked, a moment after, " in
spite of my changed name, too."
" No ; I only know by the story, but
1 1 ! ...1 ? . 1
navo oeen siaruea sometimes ny some
chance expression or tone, and I loved
you ior them.
"My sweet Lctty!"
" But Lancelot," she said, gently, " I
should never have given you up. It was
very hard for mo to bear, and life had
littlo charm for mo then. My father
urged me to marry Mr. Dinsmore, aud I
finally consented, because I believed you
dead, and I had little choiee among men."
41 It is a wonder I was not killed for I
slipped from a freight oar whilo the train
was almost at full speed. I think I was
at that time, and for weeks afterwards,
nearly, if not quite insane. And Letty,
darling, I am not quite sure I am in my
right mind now," he added, smiling.
" Nor I either," she retorted, trying to
free herself from bis arms.
"Ah well," he laughed, "it'a a pleas
ant delirium, and I hope it will last for
ever. Suppose, though, you try the rem
edy which restored mo just now," he ad
ded, wickedly.
" But of course sho did not.
A Singular Story.
A YOUNG man working on the farm
of Gen. Davis, in "West Virginia,
tells the following remarkablo story. We
give it in his own words, as near as we
can recollect it :
' I was plowing on Gen Davis' farm in
1850," he said, " unconcious of being on
insecure ground, when suddenly the earth
seemed to fall beneath me. 1 saw the
horses descending, but was too frighten
ed to let go the plow handles. The pitch
of tho horses with tho earth gave my
fall an impetus, and somehow I caught
the uamc ot one ot thcin in my fall, and
so held on instinctively. What I thought
when falling I can hardly tell. At any
rate, 1 am some rapid thinking. Y hen
I landed I fell on the horso whose mane
I had hold of, and although the horso
was instantly killed I was merclv stunned
and confused. On recovering mvself I
looked up and the hole through which 1
had fallen looked so small I concluded 1
must have fallen fully 150 feet. My first
thought was to call lor aid. but I instant
ly recalled the fact that I was at least a
inilo from Gen Davis' house, and that
there was not tho remotest possibility
that any one had seen my descent into the
earth.
" It was then early in the morning.
aud as I had brought out my dinner witli
me, no one would miss me before night
fall. While going over these facts in my
own mind, I heard the rush of water near
at hand, and it occurred to mo that 1
must have fallen upon the bed of Sink
ing creek, which, as you know falls into
tho earth above Frankfort, and does not
come out but once till it reaches the banks
of the Sweetbrier river. To sav where 1
was, or to attempt to follow the subterra
nean passage, was tho next question. I
sometimes took the team to my own ten
ant stao.es, ana therefore might not be
missed for days; so I determined to fol
low tho stream. I waded in it. aud.
judging of its depth of from ono to three
leet, l concluded it must be the identical
Sinking creek spoken of. . Leaving my
dead companions behind me, I followed
the stream. For tho most part I had
pretty easy work of it, but sometimes 1
came to a deep place, where I was forced
to swim for a considerable distance j again
was often precipitated headlong into tho
deep water by the precipitous naturo of
the rocky bed of the stream.
" Talk about darkness of the grave!
The grave itself could not have been
moro impalpably dark than the passage I
was following. The occasional rippling
of tho waters was an inexpressibly dear
sound to my ears. Day and night were
the same to me. At last, wearied with
my effort, I laid down on a comparative
ly dry rock to rest, aud must have slept
for hours. When I awoke again I took
to the water, carefully ascertaining which
way it ran, so as not to lose labor by re
tracing my steps. It seemed to mo that
the further I went the more diilicult my
progress became. When I had gone per
haps a mile, I came to a place where the
archway narrowed so much that 1 had to
crawl on my hands and knees in tho wa
ter.
" Hero was a dilemma I had not looked
for. I tried either bank of tho river, but
found no passage. I could swim under
water for a considerable distance, but the
distance before mo was unknown, and I
halted long before making the dangerous
venture At last I concluded that my
fate was equally doubtful in returning as
in proceeding, and plunged boldly into
the current, and soon found that it was
so swift in its confined passage that I on
ly needed to hold my breath to go through.
In tho course of twenty or thirty feet, I
again got my head above water, and took
a long breathing spell. Again tho arch
way above seemed to enlarge and the bed
of the stream became more more even.
I sped along comparatively rapidly, keep
ing my hands outstretched to prevent my
running against the jagged rocks. Wea
ried out, I again laid down and slept
soundly in my wet clothes.
"On awakening, I pursued my course
down the subterranean stream, and at
last in the long distance ahead saw a
glimmer that looked very bright in tho
darkness I was then shut in. Nearing
this, I found that it did not increase in
brightness; and when I had gone perhaps
a mile, I camo to another place where my
path narrowed to tho very tunnel filled
by the water. My case was now become
more despcrato. I could not possibly re
trace my steps, so 1 submitted myself to
the current, and was immeasurably over
joyed to find myself rapidly Hwcpt into
daylight. Exhausted and half drowned,
I crept out upon the land, and was not
long in recognising the objects around
me. I had conic into tho Greenbrier riv
er, as I knew from the familiar look of
Geu. Davis' mill on tho bank. On reach
ing homo I found I had been over forty
eight hours in making my perilous jour
ney of six miles underground. Tho hole
where this man went through is now
fenced round. On listening one can
plainly hear the rush of water below, and
a stone thrown down will sometimes be
heard to splash in the stream. .I'W
crn l'upcr.
A Bridal Episode.
Although the first recorded miracle in
the New Testament was tho converting
of water iuto wine at a niarriago ccremo
ney, it is nevertheless not always safe to
imbibe, even at a wedding, unless you
know something of the vintage. Mis
takes will happen, as was the case not
long since with tho Bev. Dr. , of
Newburyport, who was called dowu from
his chamber to marry a couple. The
hour was late, and the minister's wife,
who had retired for tho night, did not
rise to witness the ceremony, but gave
her husband particular directions for the
entertainment of tho wedding guests.
" Dou't forget and pass the cake and wine,
doctor,,' said she. The cake is in the
corner cupboard, and you'll find the wine
on the third right-hand shelf in the side
board." The doctor promised obedience, aud
putting on his garments, went down to
perform tho ceremoney. When he re
turned to his chamber, half an hour later,
ho found his wife sitting up in bed, with
an auxious expression on her face.
" Doctor'" sho cried, " did you give
them any wine?"
' Certainly, my dear, just as you told
me."
" Not from the decanter on the third
shelf of the sideboard?"
" That is exactly whero you directed
me to find it, wife'
' Dear! dear ! Did they drink much of
it?"
" Why, yes, they emptied their glass
es." ...
" What shall we do? Doctor, I made a
mistake it was tho ipecac wiu'.e you
gave them. Oh, how sick they niuU be !
Do, dear, put on your cloak and go right
after them they can't have gone far."
Tho minister found his bridal party at
the corner of the next street. What
niado you drink the wine?" he asked.
" Couldn't you tell by the taste that there
was something wrong about it?"
The bridegroom answered, between his
qualms, " Sho whispered to me that it
tasted dreadful queer, but I told her 'twas
because we was gotten' married."
An Acquaintance he did not Hare.
AMONG the people who attended the
Philadelphia market tho other af
ternoon, was a citizen of West Jersey.
He brought a stock of eggs and butter.
In a big coop in the rearmost part of his
wagon ho had a splendid peacock, whose
tail spread out, beautiful even to gur
geousness, like the trail of a lady.s dress.
An Irishman passing' ho observed tho
splendid plumage of the bird, and asked
its price.
"Thee can have it for fifteon dollars."
was the reply of tho owner, whose garb
indicated him as a member of tho Society
of Friends.
" That's a good price," was the inter
rogative remark of tho Celt, as ho
smoothed tho ample tail of the feathered
biped.
" There are plenty of people who will
givo that for hi:u," was the placid and
very true rejoiner.
The Celt surveyed tho bird, admired
his proportions, but still endeavored to
chcapcu him.
" Mister," said he, at last, to tho gravo
gcntlcmeu who held tho bird for sale,
" Mister people say that theso birds
havo a very bad voice."
" I havo nothing to say about their
voices," was the quiet reply. " If thee
wants the fowl thee can take it; if thee
docs not, its voicodoes not make any mat
ter to thee."
"But," says the Celt, "don't thim
birds holler like the divil ?"
,l Friend," was the placid reply, " thee
probably in that, respect has an advantage
over mo. Thee evidently has acquain
tances that I havo not. If thee thinks
that the scream of this bird is like to that
of thy friend, whom thee has named, I,
in my ignorance, will not presume to
contradict thee."
The Mysterious Joker.
N
OT LONG since tho writer was sit-
ono evening, in a country
store not far from Chicago. There was
the usual crowd of town and country
folks loafing around, sitting on nail kegs,
and on the counter, smoking villainous
tobacco, and expectorating in every di
rection. And then there entered a sedate indi
vidual, with a countenance ministerial in
its gravity, and with a short coat in
which were side pockets, lie leaned
over the counter, called fur some article,
and gave his whole soul to its examina
tion.
Then entered another person also a
stranger. He was young sprightly and
jolly. His countenance was brimming
with humor. He greeted the crowd with
a jolly " How are you, bosses ?" in a way
that, at onco piepossessed every haw
buck iu his favor.
lie was restless as a monkey. First
he begged a quid. Then he took the
plug aud jack-knife and tossed them over
and under, catching and throwing them
with one hand. Then he made a smutty
remark or two ; and, by this time, he was
the observed of all the crowd.
Except one'. The ministerial gentleman
who was leaning over the counter gavo uo
sign. He never once looked around.
The jolly youth caught sight of the
grave man, and gazed at him with a
quizzical expression. Then he picked up
a piece of paper, in a pantomiue, pinned
it on tho tail of the grave man's coat.
Whereat, there was much expressed
horse-laughing in tho crowd.
And now tho young joker spied a
little piece of white string hanging from
the pocket of the other. Approaching
him on tip-toe, with many a wink to the
rustics, he took hold of the string and
carefully drew it forth. With tho same
little parcel wrapped in twine.
Swiftly tho joker unwound the twine
and a covering of white paper. Inside
was a common business card folded
together through the middle. Within it
laid a three-cent stamp. This the joker
with a grin, handed to a by-stander, then
quickly refolded tho little parcel, and
replaced it in the other's pocket.
And now the joke was getting so broad
and funny that many ot the hilarous
spectators were tickled nigh into convul
sions. Finally attracted by tho laughter
tho gravo man looked around. He was
confused, lie found himself the centre
of all eyes. Ho thrust his hands behind
him. Ho glanced over his person.
Then he put his hands iu his pockets,
and, in withdrawing them, there came
out quite accidentally of course the
little parcel. It fell to the floor. lie
stooped aud pick it up'
" What you got done up so well ?" in
quired the joker with a smile at his grin
ding auditory.
" 0, nothing," answered Gravity, con
fusedly. " Nothing? A heap of pains you take
to wrap up nothing !"
" Well, then, if you must know, I have
got a three-cent silver piece iu there,
which I wrapped up for my littlo boy."
"A three-cent piece! Haw! haw!
haw !" said the joker, aud " Haw ! haw !
haw !" said the crowd.
' Yes, sir, a three-cent piece, upon my
honor," and he was about to put it back
in his pocket.
" Hold on, mister," said the other,
" you can't play that, you know! I'll
jist bet my life, you haiut got auy three
cent piece in that parcel."
" Young man, you're a fool, and I'll
just teach you a lesson. I don't bet as a
general thing, but I'll betjou $10U that
there is a three-cent piece iu that pa
per." " I'm your man," said tho joker. Ho
pulled out his wallet and counted out
$15. " See here," said ho, " I've only
got $15 ; I'll just bet you that."
" An hundred dollars, or nothing,"
said tho other, as ho laid out five $20
bills on the counter.
Tho joker was nonplussed. Then a
bright idea struck hiui. Ho turned to
tho crowd. " Say, boys, let's pool in and
make up a hundred, and then divide.
Serve him right to beat him."
Tho boys pulled their pocket books.
A five here and a ten there soon swelled
tho $15 to glOO. Tho joker held tho
stakes. And then the serious man undid
the parcel. Ho opened the folded card.
Ono corner of it was split, and within
the split was a three-cent piece.
The joker handed over the- stakes, and
left in disgust. A moment later, the
others followed him.
And a solemnity like unto that of a
sad funeral fell upou the faces of tho as
sembly. .
For several days after, two gentleman
from Chicago enjoyed themselves. They
belonged to the order of confidence men,
and they were iu funds. They had just
returned from a six hour's trip into the
country.
A Sharp Trade.
4 CONNECTICUT broom-peddler
Xjl a shrewd chap, from over among
the steady habits, wooden-clocks, school
masters and other fixins drove through
the streets of Providence, heavily laden
with com brooms. He called at several
stores aud offered his load, or ever so
small a portion of it; but when he want
ed the cash and nothing else iu payment
they had uniformly given him to under
stand that they had brooms enough and
that ho might go further. At length ho
drove up to a wholesale store on the west
side and offered his wares.
" Well, 1 want the brooms badly
enough," said the merchant, but what
will you take in pay?"
This was a poser. Tho peddler was
aching to get rid of his brooms; but he
would sooner sell a single broom fur cash
than the whole load for any other article
especially that he could not dispose of
as readily as he could of brooms. After
a moments hesitation, however, he screw
ed up his courage to the sticking point
it required some courage, aud utter hav
ing lost his chance of selling his load
half a dozen times by a similar auswer
aud frankly told the merchant he must
have the cash. Of course the merchant
protested that cash was scarce, and that
he must purchase, if purchase at all, with
what he hud in his store to pay with.
He really wanted the brooms, aud ho did
not hesitate to say so ; but . the times
were hard, and he had notes to pay, and
had goods that he must dispose of.
Finally he said he would put the goods
at the cost price, for the sake of trading,
and would take the whole load of brooms
which the pedlar had labored so unsuc
cessfully at tho other stores to dispose of.
" So unload the brooms," said ho to
tho man from Connecticut, " aud select
any article from my store, and you shall
have them at cost price."
The peddler scratched his head. There
was an idea there, as the sequel will
show.
' I tell what it is," he answered at
last, '-just say them terms for half tho
load and cash for t'other half, aud I'm
your man. Blowcd cf I dou't sell out, if
Connecticut sinks, with all her broom
stuff, tho next minute."
The merchant hesitated a moment but
finally concluded the chance a good one.
Ho would be getting half tho brooms for
something that would sell as readily; as
for the cost price, it was an easy gammon
in regard to it. The bargain was struck,
the brooms were brought in, and the cash
for half of them paid over.
" Now, what will you have for the re
mainder of your bill '!" asked the mer
chant. The peddler scratched his head again,
and this time more vigorously, lie walk
ed the floor, whistled and drummed with
his fingers on the head of a barrel. By-and-by
this reply came slowly, deliber
ately and emphatically :
" You Providence fellers are cuto; you
sell at cost, pretty much all of you, and
make much money. I dou't see how it's
done. Now I don't know about your
goods, barin' one article, and ef I take
anything clso I may be cheated. So,
seein' as 'twont make any odds with you.
I guess I'll tako brooms. I know them
like a book, and can swear to just what
you paid for them."
Aud so saying, tho peddler commenced
reloading his brooms, and having deposi
ted half of his former load, jumped on
his cart with a regular Connecticut grin,
aud, leaving tho merchant cursing his im
prudence and his own stupidity, drove off
in search of auother customer.
BS?L. Onco upon a time, during a debate
in the United States House of ltepresent
atives, on a bill for increasing the num
ber of hospitals, ono of tho Western
members arose and observed :
" Mr. Spoaker My opinion is that tho
gincrality of mankind in gineral, aro
disposed to take advantage of tho yiner
ality of mankind in gineral,"
" Sit down, sit down," whispored tho
Colonel, who sat near him, "you are com
ing out at the same hole you. went in at."
jflgy Very rich gold and silver discov
eries have been made on the Place river,
Vancouver's Island, and the people are
all leaving the lower part of the country
for the new El Dorado.

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