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r,3 Somerset "Herald.
Wm4T sE-aieg a
0 Tbia maa-.bcr Aaaat
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iiAY. A- U . HAT.
JAY & HAY. ATJ
lAiLEB L. PUGH,
J AnVuk . i-Al-i-A .
ji3.Ui kUauDoOi BJoc, or - -ra. JkB-
Savie. riM iia eauinBi. aa U
m. ds .uacuea w wiia praijaaaa
4.J.C0LBOES. 1- C IXtfJWHS.
I xU4CKN A COLBOKN,
J AriuiO a. X Al-LiW,
j2 acsuia. eciraoea to oor cart ia
L. BAS, ,
Will trw-lce ta Someraet aiid 4r.ir.t
araiapl ailri m
A H. OUFFttCTH. W. H.
KFFKcrH A ECPPKJU
a; ksm eatfBaVed o Ueu- eJ
fi.tiniiT -j kUxoota to. uno
K Ua iuM) pjwsa aUainrxwn
?- E. F. BITTNtK,
rutalcLali aU aCBiiJioS.
'.--f ace "x Ci. ixiajeraeW Peon'a.
ut Fisbar'a Cook
I. MARsDilN, 5L
t-.. , fit KlkutUA,
'"fHA a. kMcuuuii aicn 4 uc caa of tli
j W. CAlyjTHtKs, M- !.,
.- oa Pu-io. tuxaaL ccpOMVa L". B.
ua at offica. "
Dfi. P. F. bHAFKEB,
'oum tut frureMKMai i
cru aii r&Lnut unM.
i. M. LOLTHER,
oa Mm r. auvat, reax ot ni( awoca.
jji h. s. ki-;mf.i.i,
'a l-J proJeuaooaJ aerrieM lo Ui. etli-
J4 X. KiiEilER, D. D. ti
l?PrriJ aiUoo giK3! to tbe e;uns
aueiiuoo to Uac pimarraOoa
t.ici.i Iecui. ArUAcaiti aria LDtwnea.
"-- ovr u. H- iwrni A Co aura,
crwa a4 PauuM atrae.
j.'AXK B. FLUCK,
(OPERATIVE MUTUAL FIRE
iaaunmoe aX dal cost by losur-
t hoaie. We ii tre Town and
'''a property. Vrii for iafurmaXioa.
JA'J. J. ZORX,
4 - "i-no win ail uoaera impnraDnu
w "'' andrr tua bi.iu-ibsii1 d( Joiin
uaaa u nawlubaTtan aaea
J on ii riurray
J A LONG,
- itfi-r Park Bulld f. PITTSBCBU, PA.
tJlBsin.ry .keu-h pnrparod and .cbmiN
H'Fai. Ourmpuodooo. aoiictted.
i l .
VOL. XL V ill. NO. 4(5.
Hade frora the pre
scription cf an cli
Tested by years of use.
Pleasant to Uke does
cot settle in the bottle.
Last dose is the same
strength as the first.
The oae s&f e, Beyer
filling remedy for
coughs nd colds cf
. At a3 Drug Store.
26 oeai a, Boul.
First MM Ml
etoerra acccivc inuiiiU
tiiovm. rrai.t en di
tccotiiT or macHiiirt. ata,
Teca otALtaa. tut ctmck loucint
DISCOUNTS DAILY. -
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
CH AH. O. t CIL. GEO. V HCTUU
EDWARD 8CTXI, : : PRKirEXT.
VAiTi HAY. : VICE PKKII'tT.
Htkvn U. BKRkl.fT. OHIEH.
Th. rand uid wraritie. of h)i tact .rr ae
enrr.j proimeA ia a c-rorle3 Ciua Bra.
Jacob D Swank,
Witchmtvitr and Jawalar,
Next .Door Wert of Urthertt Churok,
Somerset, - Pa.
I Ara How
preyavrfd to supply tbe public
with Clocks, Waicfae, aod Jrw
eliy of all descriptions, m Cbp
M the CbeapeeU
AH work guaranteed. Look at my
Block before making your
J. I). SWANK.
HffEB'S NEW SHOE STORE!
VrZ BCYS. WOBCT'S, 6!8tS' ta ChlOHDI'S
SHOES, OXFORDS v4 SUPPERS.
Black, and Tan. LausrtStjlea sod Shapes
AiMoinitjf Mra, A. E. XHO, Sooth-oast
comer of aqcar.
fiSti:" e.r wiw ft. wkeua
tSnrb Ka Co. N
! it ovn. la ta.
cf t noulc Tot.. a a
f. firLl hftJl M.I
iwl a F Bt Waattara. D. C
CASTOR I A
Tor IeIaiiU asl ChildaRL
Ue Kind Yes Han AIwsjt ftnga
Siraatare of (jCxi&zTcUC&'f'C
I I rr.' 1
j festive scene .ccn uircarn
br miM CaCClCA
The lipUt U:ct btipttrrs
beauty's charm, that pivt&lLe
fin i lied touch to the drawing
room or dir.Lc" tooa, ia the
mellow plow of
Sold ia all color acd ataJes
to hirmonLce with any interior
bangiags or decorauota.
Few aai. ewrrrcfm.
WASTED I.tti to inak by pootmrt. MM
furnifeMuc truurruil for aj M ao4 upward, ao
t mnai3rrxl. Ptflm jreara' xprn-nea
f.l-tJCL JOHN tVMiHDILU Uprt, Pa.
I Rrad most tofUv and. 1
&e wma one of lbae acotmdoua, cn
motbred treatorvs who ae toed lata
tict witboat any aBeestry to apeak
cf, and who are then kft to fight it oet
or po book into tbe tmrk again froca
wbenoe fbry emnie.
Her name was Biliy, ber parentage
cskfiown. And Lad it not been for a
certain icberect, combative force, and
tbe saving arms of Whisky gal, sbe
would never have staved in a world
thai did not seem to want ber. For it
was night and a ni?bt wben tbe first
soot-Uackened anowfiakes were finding
lodgment in the beart of tbe slams
that that lad, happening to be leas
intoxicated tbaa usual, caught the
sound of a piercing wail amidst tbe
confused noises around ber, and pok
ing ber bead into a disused ab barrel
drew out a little caked body, which
sbe covered up in ber thawl and car
"Here, Jimmy," abe exclaimed to a
roogb-beaded urchin of 9 or 10, wbo
was aitting boddied up in tbe warmth
of tbe bed as sbe entered, "here's
soroetLiu' for ye," and sbe Jossed the
bundle into bis arms, and so relieved
herself of all farther rofponaibility in
"It's a kid, eure's your born," said
Jimmy, in tbe awed tones of youth to
youth, and from that moment the
"kid" was bis.
He christened ber Billy in tbe vain
hope that sbe might some day become
a boy; he fed ber with area milk flavor
ed a ith water; be dressed ber in pawn
tbop garments bought with bis own
meagre earnings, and next to bis old
young beart be kept ber warm at night
wben tbe thermometer was low and
Her life and ber upbringing and ber
future career depended entirely upon
his own unaided efforts, and be knew
it; for Wbitky Sal was one of those Ir
responsible beings wbo live for the
moment. Sbe was not brutal; she was
only whifcky-eoeked and sodden. Sbe
would not voluntarily hurt anything,
fibe would not murder a child or pris
on a cat, but tbe whole world might
die or go to pieces or be swept into ob
livion for all sbe cared.
Sbe carried ber comfort in a smal1
flat bottle, which sbe wore buttoned
into tbe bosom of ber drew; and wben
it was empty sbe worked to fill it, and
wben it was full her one aim in life
was to empty it again.
"I've got no use for babies and tbe
l;ke of tbem," she remarked confiden
tially tc a neighbor one day, in one of
her sober relapses; "but if Jimmy"
want the job of raisin' bf r he's wel
come to iC"
So Billy's lot in life was cast, and in
spite of the age and sex of her nurse,
and of eery argument to tbe contrary,
sbe lived through the different phases
of babyhood, and found ber feet and
developed ber tongue and ber teeth as
successfully as tbe most careftily nur
tured infant in tbe land.
And Jimmy did it, and did it all
from pure instinctive love; did it with
out a muimur or a notion of the mean
ing of self sacrifice, and be did it,
moreover, for six years. But at tbe
end of that time be concluded sagely
thattbe was old enough and mature
enough to do for berwelf. So accord
ingly be provided ber with a broom
and a crossing and turned ber out loose
to do tbe best sbe could.
Perhaps he was right Billy was
large and strong for ber age. fibe had
big black, bold eyes that feared noth
ing, and a pair of tough little fists. Sbe
could bold ber own against children
double ber size, and sbe held it, too.
without he&iUtioo or partiality.
And so for four years sbe kept her
crossing by rtb.t of might and posses
sion, and entirely without Jimmy's
aid or protection. Jimmy, it is true,
would occasionally saunter up to where
she stood with her buy oroom, and
accost her with a superior air of conde
scension; for Jimmy worked In a ci?ar
factory, and moreover be bad reached
that time of life when grown-pp ladies
ere more to his fancy than saiall
girls. There was a certain Ltx Baker,
for example, wbo walked out with him
on Sundays and wbo exercised a par
ticular fascination over bim. She was
16; she worked in a factory, and she
wore tbe most wonderful LJack bat.
trimmed with straight blue ostrich
feathers, that ever ravUhed the beart cf
Billy hated her. Of course she bated
ber. Had she not all th atttibutes
that call forth that emotion ? Was sbe
not older and richer and stronger, and
did she not wear better clothes, and.
moreover, was sbe not the beloved of
Jimmy? And Billy hated ber with a
b-iruing, smothering hate, which made
ber beart burn like a big bnt eaL
Had Lis been a small girl l.tf could
have emphas z her feIiB?4 wiih the
challenging tips of ber a alive fingers.
or tbe ready vituperation of hex still
m r active tongue. But L'x was big
and grown op, and sbe tiered ooL She
darxl not even air ber reproach, to
Jimmy, for Jimmy would only have
laughed at ber, and ridicule, as every
one knows, Is harder to tear than con-
So, womanlike, she bore tbe situation
wish an cutward meekness and an in
aaard s'.'ife. and said nothing, tfhe
swept ber crossing more vigorously,
that was all, arud avoided Jimmy with
a strady purpose which was entirely
thrown away upon that Infatuated
youth. His eyes were filled wilhoce
vision and bis beart enthroned upon
But as weeks passed by and Jim
my's affections remained unaltered,
Billy's breast became a very penthouse
of emotions, and so strong w as her
hatred that sbe wore out a whole new
broom ia less than a month. It wi
fatal extravagance; it must be put a
stop to at any cost, and Billy was
aware of it; but wben Jimmy found it
out and lectured ber on tbe sut jeqt, sbe
repaid (be liberty by splashing him
plentifully with soft yellow mud oflT
tbe end c f tbe damaged Lroom.
"I hate your she aaid, ber big fierce
eyes dashing as sb spoke; "and I hate
Lis Baker worsern!"
'Ahr retorted Jimmy, and he gave
ber the end of a healthy pink tongue
to examine. "Tbet for ye!" and be
snapped Lis fingers and walked away
Tnsxa the climax came. It cappened
on a bet, depressing spring day, when
Bfiiy'a of strength and ber second
broom were both approaching exhaus
tion. Sbe was standing at ease, with
one hand outstretched and bar eyes
fixed on tbe faces of tbe paaset-by,
wben a lady in a short brown skirt and
thick boots came stepping gingerly
over tbe crossing and paused In front
"What Is your name, my dear?" sbe
asked, looking down at the child as
abe spoke, out of a pair of keen gray
Billy frowned and remained silent
Sbe w as not in a communicative mood.
But tbe lady was not to be bafied.
Sbe waited a moment or two, and then
said gently, "Has the poor little gtrl
lost ber tongue that she won't an
Billy bated grown-up people with
playful ways, and she did not wish to
be civil, but at that moment there oc
curred to ber tbe idt-a that perhaps this
lady might be aUe to take ber away
from ber broom and ber crossing, and
from Jimmy, and from Lix Bake, and
from everyone. She would like that
So sbe collected ber senses and answer
ed "Billy," with as much civility as
abe could muster.
"Billy r echoed tbe lady. "What a
fanny little name. Wbo gave it to
you, my dear? Your mother?"
Billy shook her bead.
"Your father T'
Billy shook her bead again.
"Ah!" said tbe lady, musingly. "No
father, no mother; sweeps a crossing
and looks uncared for." She pursed
up ber lips in a businesslike way, and
taking out a notebook from ber bag
wrote down something in a rapid
band. "Now," sbe resumed, bending
over Billy caressingly, "how would
you like to leave all this dirt and mis
ery and come to a place where you
would have plenty to eat and drink,
and nice clothes to wear acd a beautiful
bed to sleep in? Would you like it,
Billy's black eyes flashed enthusiast
ically and ber face glowed as sbe nod
ded in afilrmation.
"Then let me see," said the lady, in
ferring to her notebook again. "This
is Monday. Well, on Wednesday, two
days tfter to-day, you understand, you
meet me here and I'll take you to that
beautiful home. And now, goodbye,
my dear, and God bless you," and sbe
bustled away with a litbie bopping,
business: ike walk.
It was late that nigtt when Billy
related ber experience to Jimmy, as
they sat side by side on an upturned
barrel tn tbe lee of a row of tenement. I
Sbe bad intended at first to keep it a
'deadly," but love and tbe excitement j
of telling got the better of reserve.
"So that was her dodge, was tt?"
remarked Jimmy, with a dangerously
reserved reflection ia bis voice, after
the narrative bad been narrated with
tbe assistance of many interjections
and interpolation a
"Sbe wanted to give me a beautiful
home," Billy explained, readily, "and
I'm goin', too-see if I don't,"
Yes, you're goinT he echoed scorn-
fjlly. "Do you know what she is?
She's Old Mother Gobbleap, and ber
beautiful home's jist a stone jug, and
once she sweeps you in there you'll
never see daylight agaia. Now you're
goin' ain't ye ?"
"Yes, I am. Any place's better'n
"Yea, it is "
"Billy! And I raised ye, and gave
ye milk out of a bottle, and kep' ye
whea ye'd have died ef I hadn't An'
this's all ye care, le'd go to Old
M ther Gobbled p, or any other old
mother, to get away. Oh, Billy! I
didn't think it of ye; no I didn't"
Billy turned ber head away quickly.
"Ye ye don't cars."
"Yes, I do."
"Xaw, ye don't Ye like that old
Liz Baker thin g; and ye can keep her,
too," sbe exclaimed, defiantly.
"I don't I was only foolin. I don't
care a red cent about ber," be asserted,
lying with manlike giibness.
Billy's hard little fist stole, into Jim
my's with a quick shamefaced move
ment "Swear ye don't"
And Jimmy swore with' convincing
" Ye're 10 now, ain't ye, Billy ?" he
asked, thoughtfully. '-I know ye are,
c'os I raised ye. Well, ia three years
ye'll be growed up and big, and then
I'll marry ye, BilL"
Billy's eyes dacoed. To marry a
man, and a man wbo worked in a fac
tory! Could the bountiful gods have
devised a prospect of greater bliss!
Her bead dropped low on Jimmy's
"Swear it. Jimmy," f he repeated,
And again Jimmy lifted up his voice
and swore with loud aud fearful deter
mination. "That's good," murmured Billy,
softly, and ber arms went round bis
neck rn an enthusiastic burst cf love
Jimmy unweund ber arms slowly.
"I'm goin' to marry ye. Bill, ain't I?"
"You've swore it," she answered
"Yes, and I'll slick to it, too. And
now you see your mine f-.r keeps." be
continued with that air of possession
rhich is man's prerogative, "and I like
ye. But Lix has got ber feelin's too.
and I'm goin' to kindly shake ber off
"Yes" answered Bill, and ber head
dropped a trifle.
"I'll shake Lix off cently," he re
peated, "and I'll take you on for keeps.
And in the unwritten history of the
slums it is recorded that in both cases
Jimmy kept his word. Chicago News.
A Delicate ComplimeaL
Fiancee "The pearl necklace you
gave me made me very happy; I am
envied wherever I go. It is really so
difficult to find pure pearls?"
Fiance "Of course, my dear Madge,
I was thirty ears old before I found
one." Fliegende Blaetter.
Xoral Talse ef Seatnesa.
One of the serious mistakes made by
mothers in training their children, is
in supposing that careful habits can be
cultivated in careless surroundings. A
ragged or worn carpet, so little valued
by the mother that grease or ink spots
can be left on it without cauaicr com
ment may becoma a moral calamity.
Tying tbe child cp in a bib and giv
ing it tbe liberty to spill its food wben
eating, is responsible for bad table hab
its in tbe men and women whom we
meet A child wbo is made eat its
food carefully, ia a room where tbe
furnishings are respected, where a pen
alty will follow carelessness, naturally
acquires careful manners.
Mcy a mother speuds more time
repairing damages, tbe result of care
less habits, doe largely to tbe furnish
ings in tbe dining-room, than she
would need to spend in setting a table
carefully and keeping tbe room in or
der, so that its order and neatness com-
mai ded tbe respect of the children.
The ounce of prevention is worth
several pounds of cure in tbe training
of children, and it is a pity that tbe
ounce of prevention is not administer
ed in tbe infinitesimal doses necessary
in childhood, rather than in the radic
al doses necessary to overcome neglect
in matters that are never minor, for
manner and habit mark the man. A
man may be a moral maa and eat with
his knife, but be would be a more val
uable man in tbe community if be rec
ognized the uses for which the knife
was designed and applied it only to
those uses. And so with many other
habits and manners that prove to be
such trials to the men and women of
to-day, which might have tea avoid
ed if in their childhood the "moral
value of neatness," and tbe necessity
of thoroughness is training, bad been
TJaiipe Wediicj Present
Most people know of tbe peculiar
circumstances trader which Robert
Lobert Louis Stevenson won bis wife.
But evea more romantic and astound
ing was the unique wedding gift be
got with ber.
Wben Stevenepn met bis future fate
at Barblzon, a famous artists' re
sort nar Paris, she was the wife of
Mr. Osborne, an Oakland gentleman.
The friendship thus formed led Steven
son to pay a visit to California. He
arrived at Monterey in a dying con
dition, but the loving care of Mrs.
Osborne and ber sister, Nellie Van der
Grift, gradually won bhn back to life.
The nursing completed bis iufamatioo
for tbe lady an infatuation which he
did not pretend to conceal. Fortu
nately Osborne raised no objtionA
He not only agreed to the divorce, but
ilh a magnanimity rarely excelled
actually attended the wedding break
fast There he found bis opportunity.
Mrs. Svenson's one source of regret
was the positive loss of her son, Lloyd
Osborne, whom, of course, tbe father
had tbe right to claim. Osborne made
a bappy speech, felicitating the happy
couple, and wound up by offering the
most original of wedding presents.
"To tbe bride," he said, "I give that
hi oh of all things is nearest and
dearest to her heart, ber own son."
Costly Easpberry Pie.
Because the proprietor of a hotel at
Fluvana, on Chautauqua lake, would
not allow a guest a second helping of
red raspberry pie, be has been driven
out of business and the town has ceas
ed to be known as a summer resort.
says a Jamestown, N. Y., dispatch in
the New York Evening World.
Tbe guest was a member of tbe fami
ly of the late Mahlon C. Martin, a mil
lionaire of New Brunswick, N. J. Tbe
story once told, was always remem
bered, and no one of the successive
proprietors of the hotel could do a
Finally the hotel was shut down,
and now Fluvana is known only as tbe
summer borne of the Martin family,
wbo, after the pie incident built a flue
Indian Sock Carvings.
Professor Gould, of Nebraska Uni
versity, gives an account ia Science of
the Indian piclographs on tbe sand
sWwie occurring in Northeastern Ne
braska and Western Kansas. Upon the
walls of many of tbe canons occur fig
urea of men, horses, weapons and
birds. These evident'y bad a meaning
to tbe men who made tbem and to
their contemporaries, but are now un
decipherable. Many of tbem are so
inaccessible that it is impossible to see
bow their creators reached the point
to grave them from. Professor Gould
wisely refrains from any gess in re
gard to lluir significance or origin.
An Epidemic of Whooping Ganga.
Last winter during an epidemic of
whooping cough my children contract
ed tbe disease, having severe coughing
spells. We had used Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy very successfully for
croup and naturally turned to it at
that time and found it relieved the
cough and effected a complete cure.
John E. Clifford, Proprietor Nor
wood House, Norwood, N. Y. This
remedy is lor sale by all druggists.
A Sharp Retort.
Sir Robert Ped was once going
through a picture collection with a
friend where there was a portrait of a
prominent Englishman who was fa
mous for saying sharp things.
"How wonderfully like!" aaid tbe
friend. "You can see the quiver on
"Yes," replied Sir Robert, "and the
arrows coming out of it" Youth's
Why suffer from weak nerves wben
you can get a true specific for sick
nerves. Wheeler's Nerve Vltalizer
can always be depended upon to build
up you health and make you strong.
For sale at Carman's Drag Store,
Berlin, Pa, and Mountain it Son's
Drug Store, Confluence, Pa.
MAY 2. 1 1300.
Su Eics't Lear&ei Pi;.
Daa Rice nsed to tell a good story of
a happening in a Pennsylvania town.
"My first hit" tbe atory ran, "I
made with tbe pig at Greensburg, Pa
A Dutch farmer named Jack bad re
cently bad his barn burned and sus
pected that a recently discharged hand
bad touched tbe fire. I beard of tbe
fire and old Herr Jack's suspicions and
saw a rare opportunity for a rich jok
and much advertising.
"Jack and his wife were induced to
visit my educated pig, and the former,
after seeing the creature perform seem
ingly wonderful feaa of intelligence,
asked me if the aniaial could tell who
fired Lis bam. I assured bim gravely
that the pig possibly could tell him all
about it. I bad seen the suspected in
cendiary, and ostensibly proceeded to
describe bim to tbe pig, asking it occa
sionally if be was tha man. From time
to lime tbe pig Dodded assent and led
the Dutchman to Infer that it kr-er
tbe incendiary's age and habits of life.
In amazement Herr Jack declared the
pig to be ia le.vgve with tbe devil, as
by no other means oould such a
knowledge of the unseen be attained.
Farmer Jack at once had a warrant
issued for the suspect's arrest and the
pig and myself were subpoenaed as
witnesses for tbe Slate. I shall never
forget that court scene. Tbe Judge
bad been duly posted and the crowd of
spectators looked breathlessly on while
the pig gave the testimony that sent
the accused to jail f jt 30 days for arson
as tbe Dutchman thought, but in reali
ty fur disorderly conduct, for the pig's
testimony was all a farce, as tbe court
ofilcials knew I prompted. But tbe
public was in ignorance; and the news
of the affair sped through all the coun
try and brought thousands of people to
see the educated pig. That was a
clever stroke of advertising."
The death of the pig broke up Rice's
first attempt at the ahow business.
After that be drifted out to Nauvoo,
IL-, and joined tbe Mormons under the
leadership of Joseph Smith. He drift
ed back Into the show business in Wi,
however, making his appearance in
New Vork in th t year as a cown and
negro song and dance performer.
The Constable Gasped;
Somebody should make a collection
of cycling yarns. They would certain
ly outvie the very finest of fishing
stories. The latest I have heard re
counts bow a wheelman was riding in
the neighborhood of Worcester after
dark, when a brawny constable stop
ped bim and demanded to know why
be was riding without a light Not a
moment's pause elapsed before the cy
clist framed bis excuse. "See that
bicycle?" be said, pointing on ahead
to the glimmer of a light ia the road.
Well, that machine is my better half;
it is part of this machine, ou under
stand. I was riding uautem. when
the parts became uoglued; my wife
rode ahead, not knowing what had
happened; when I recovered my senses
sbe was out cf shooting distance." The
constable was, it is said, still gasping
when the cyclist bad got up to 12 miles
aa hour. London Sketch.
Jtodel Picnic Ground.
E. C. Schlueter and Constable Joe
Roderick, wbo went up into tue Niles
canon to-day in search of cattle, bad an
experience with a ratilesuake while out
and though neither was bitten Schluet
er had a narrow escape. When well
up in tbe canon he had occasion to dis
mount from bis horse, and in doiijg so
he all but stepped on a rattlesnake
which was coiled up near by. Rderick,
as soon as be saw the reptile, called to
his companion to run, at the same time
drawing his pistol aud taking a shot at
the snake. Fortunately tbe ball struck
the snake in the bead. The snake.
wbich Roderick carried to bis place as
a trophy, measured over five feet in
leegtb, and had 14 rattles. Hitherto
the people who had been frequenting
the canon as a picnic ground have be
lieved the place free from reptiles, this
being the first poisonous snake ever
killed there. San Francisco Chroni
Hobton far Tice President
The following letter explains itself:
"Manila, P. I.
"To the Secretary of the Navy:
"Sir You will probably remmber
me as tbe man who was remotely con
nected with tbe sinking of the Merri-
mac, and who later swung around the
circle and was banished to these islands
for reasons satisfactory to your depart
ment I have the houor to report that
I am older now and know more; be
sides, I hare given up kissing almost
entirely now as a beverage, and would
like to come home for the purpose of
running for vice president Perhaps I
eight not to say it but but I am a
Democrat Very respectfully,
"P. S. I understand my place here
is wanted for Admiral Dewey." Jop
lin. Mo., News-Herald.
He IP as Talking in Canada
Frederick D. Kilburn, State Super
intendent of Banking, made a cam
paign speech for Governor Roosevelt
l&-t fall that was a record breaker, says
the New York World. Kilburn, the
colonel, and other spellbinder were
touring the extreme northern part of
the State. Early one morning- the
engine stopped for water near a lumber
camp. Kit hum got out on the end of
the car find delivered a rip-roaring
speech on tbe evils of Tammany Hall
and kindred campaign topics. Tbe
lumbermen listened with no show of
A trifle nettled, Kilburn returned to
the car. A brakeman, noticing his
gloom, said, cheerfully:
"Don't mind those French-Canadians.
They're a wooden-headed Jot"
"French-Canadians," said Kilburn,
with surprise. "Where are we?"
"We're just over the line in Canada.
I thought you knew that," said the
Bad blood and indigestion are dead
ly enemies to good health. Eur Jock
I Blood Bitters destroys them.
Xo&iih X atria JSJ.
All the expenses of a wedding are as
sumed oy tbe bride's family card,
carriages, fl wal decoraiions every
thing. Tbe bridegroom's first privilege is
to pay tbe clerKymna's fee.
It is the bride's prerogative to name
the wedding day.
Tbe fashionable hour for tbe cere
mony is "high noon."
Church, clergyman, and all details
of the wed Hug are lett to tbe choice of
It b the present fashion to have four,
six or eight bridesmaids, as many
ushers, a maid of honor, a best man,
and sometimes one or two little giris.
Tbe bride decides what the gowns of
ber bridesmaid- shall be.
The briiie ilaays wears tbe bride
Tbe bride wear ber veil over her
face so that immediately after the cere
mony, tbe maid of hooor may part it
disposing of it becomingly.
Fashion now dicta.. wbisa suede
gloves. The left one is removed when
the ring is given.
Presents are sest at any time after it
is known that the date has been fixed
for the wedding, but the receipt of the
invitations is tbe general signal for
It is a recent fashion to invite those
who have sent presents to cfoie and
see them oa 'a? day shortly before
the wedding, if they are not to be dis
played at the reception.
A widow bride wears pearl gray, or
some light silk; or a traveling oxtame
with boneU She removes ber f.r.n-r
weddiug ring. She may no more wear
both rinc than she my bear buttt
name-. Mrs. Burton King!aad in lb
Ladies Home Journal.
She Was Converted.
I was talking to a lady whom I was
sittir.g ty at a dinner party last week.
and deploring the l-s of so many use
ful British lives in South Africa. She
took this coolly, for she said that Great
Britain is overpopulated, and that it
can well allord a little Mood-telling, l
pointed out however, to her that there
are about a million more women iu
Great Britain than men, and that con-
sequently, the difficulty in finding a
husband would be even greater after
the war than it already is. The lady U
unmarried herself, and this view of
the South African butcher's bill so
struck ber that by the time we arrived
at the entree, she had ber doubts as to
the policy of tbe war; at the sweets.
sb was convinced that it was an im
moral war; and I left ber a peace-at-acy-price
girL London Truth.
The Buttalo Times says: These are
sotne interesting f n-ts about the Priocw
of Wales, which are condensed from
his bioaraphy as written by his private
He is colonel eight times over.
assistant secretaries, and a staff of J
clerks to assist them.
He receives letters a day. and an-
swers most of them.
Every minute of his time In London
is spent according to schedule.
He is in every order of knighthood
His uniforms are worth J7VCOX
He is the chief horse owner, dog
owner and yachtsniau in England.
lis goes to church every Sunday
Jle started life with aa income of j
$"vi,000 a year. J
He says be has no debts.
He loves to travel inguito la Paris, j
His favorite vehicie In London is a
hansom cab, yet his stables costT5,CXX
He has friends in every nation, and
speaks German, French, Italian and
Hi Is 5 feet 6 inches tail and weighs
H is 57 years old and has 4 grand
When he was youa Le was very
tenderhearted, and cried for days when
his tutor left him.
He is said to be one of the best shot
H. sets tb fashion for clothes fori
the wholi world.
He popularhid the Alpine bat
He has thirteen university degrees.
He has made more speeches than
any other maa in the world, but most
ly short ones.
He was the first Christian to dint.!
with the Sultan of Turkey.
I consider it not only a pleasure but
a duty I oae to my neighbors to telL
about the "vonderful care effected In
my case by the timely use of Chamber
lain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy I was taken very badly with,
uux sua rrocurea a u-kiis oi iul .
remedy. A few do of it effected
permanent cure. I take pleasure iu.
recommeuding it to others suffering
from that dreadful disease. J. W
Lynch, Drr, W. Va This remedy
is sold by all druggists.
"He openly boasts that no great or
poration has ever dared to appro ten.
him," said tbe acquaintance.
"He ought to be careful about hoar
be talks," answered Senator Horgbtaaa.
"Tbe first thing he knows people will
think he hasn't any infloenos worth
buying." Washington Star.
Tue ancients believed that Theuruav
tisru was tbe work of a demn within,
a maa. Any one who ha- had aa
aUack of striatic or inflammatory rhvw-m-Uisn
will agree that the I jflictios ft
demoniac enough to warrant the bekef.
It has sever been claimed that Cbavns
berlaia'a Pain Balm would cast e&
demons, but it will cure rheumatism,
and hundreds bear testimony to th
truth of this statement One app&ss-
tiou relieves the oain. and this mtirti
relief which it affords Is alone wvrth
macy ime its cost. For sale by
"WHOLE NO. 2514.
Convincing the Ixglithaaa.
Some of tbe negro talk dow a South
was so different from their dialect in
tbe North that I couldn't understand
it at aiL
Tbey really said "gwine" for "go
ing," "and "Maa" fo "here," and
some of tbem evea said 'il'' fvr
"that," so I w compelled to admit
that the dialect writers bad not mis
represented lbs spch of tbe ixgroes
as badly as I had supposed, says a
Chicago Record writer. But I did cot
hear any of theta say ol.b.' for
A man at Selma told a story concern
ing the stractre speech, of the negroes.
I have never seen it ia print so I will
Aa English travekr was making bis
first vLit totbeSo;h ia the company
of a southern gentleman, who answer
ed many qiiesiion and took a slight
advaatage of tbe Englishman's ignor
ance. What language is spokea by the
negroes here ia tbe Suth?" aked tbe
"Tbey have a language ef their own,"
was tbe reply.
"Is it possible? I thought tbey
spokea corruption of English.
"No; it is more like tbe language of
tbe North American Indiana
"Is it possible r
"Yes, and I can speak a little of it
myself. Now, wben we get off the
train I'll go op to tbe first negro I meet
and speak to hi in in his native tougue
and he will answer me, and then you
car get some idea of how diff-rent it
When they alighted ai their destina
tfcia the usual number of shiftless ne
groes were leaning against the station.
The southern man walked up behind
oae of them and said, loudly and
fiercely: "Whah be?"
"Whah whah who?' Aked the
And th Englishman wa convinced.
The Weight cf Precedent
There is a story reported as havirg
been told by Col. Fred N. Dow, of
Portland, Me-, which shows well how
customary usage "broadens down from
prv-eedent to precedent" And no less
plainly does it show the weight of the
Colonel Djw once visited friends at
Q and while seeing the sights of
the city and its surroundings he took a
tvblic carriage to visit the falls of
Montmorency. At a half-way house
on the road the driver pulled up his
tiorse and remarked: "The carriage
always stops here."
For what purpose?"' asked tie
For the passengers to treat," was
"Bit none of us drink, and we do
not intr-nd to treat"
The driver had dismounted and was
wi'irg by the roadside. Drawiug
iiiinselfup to bis full height he said,
"I have driven this carriage now
more than thirty years, and this has
f bappeml but once before. Some years
ago I had f r a fare a crxuk from Port
land, Me., by the name of Neal Dow,
who said he wouldn't drink; and, what
was more to the point, he said be
wouldn't pay for anybody else to
Tbe son found himself occupying tbe
same ground a that on w hich his
father had stood. Youth's Companion.
When the matron callea npoa the
bride of three lujaths, she discovered
ber ia tear.
"Why, my dear, what is ths matterr'
"I want to die! I want to die!" sob
bed the br Ma.
"There, dear, there; what is tbe mat-
It'sit's Harry," sobbed the girl
"Has he been abusing you ?"
"N-o-o, but oh, dear, what shall I
"He he oh, I can't tell you!"
"You must Has be been staying
out late nights?
"Has he been drinking T'
"Then what is tN matter?"
"His he doesn't love me any more!
I "Teil me all about it, dear; I am sure
5 it is nothing serious."
"But it is," sb
know I shall die!"
s-ibbed the brlJs.
The matron drew the sobbing girt to
"Now tell me all. dear." she whis
"When wben he c-cam home Usi
night he didn't k-k-kiss uie!" she sob
tv ilir " j:.t th matron, "vou'll
(j vf Whea husb,nd
came bome last night be did kiss me,
and I have been wondering ever since
what he has been up to." Detroit Free
In its advanced and chronic form
cold in the head is known as Nasal
Catarrh and is the recognized source of
other diseases. Having stood tbe test
er" continued successful use, Ely':
Cream Balm is recognized as a specific
fur membranal diseases ia the nasal
masages, and you should resort to this
Ueatment in your own case. It ia not
drying, d ies not produce sneezing.
Prica So eta. at druggists or it will
be mailed. Ely Brothers, 56 War
ren St, New York. Give up prejudice
and try it.
A Smooth Citizen.
"What kind of man Is her
"0 be'a the kind that arouses you
v " Yea; fMt have to fl sorry for other
men whs go Into business with him."
l "Take time bv the forelock." If
your blood is out of order, begin tak-
all! log Hood's Sarsaparilja at once and
prevent seriou Illness.
It is feared is r-r, t-Kat the seriou
ill Dews of E.l-nnd K caad may re
sult ia permanent inaruty, if the pa
tient does Xol d".t.
rvnatr BeveridV maH red one o f
the Mlv i -n'er during his recert
eastern trip and is now emptying sns s
of hisrpare uroe ia the study of others.
Dr. E-lw&rd Urv.; rvvn!y ve a
concert in tVpeufcagt a, .t bu-h otily
mall bo keiaws Wens iuvUed, Lis idea
beirg that, as :a tire cf a1!, art
should appeal to all clasps.
The Tulare Utivf rsaiy of Lotisiar a,
which has been w:tVt:t a premier t
since the death of CoL Wuliaai Pt
ton Johnston last J-!r, has choen IV.
Edaia AMerman, wbo has been presi
dect of the Vaiversi'y of North Caro
lina since and is known as one of
the mv progressive teat-kers cf the
Capt. Peter Asil Scott R. N-, for it
years nautical avlvbr to the Dominion
of CanAia, died recently at Kalbsm,
near London, at t!.e ace of M. lie
entered the navy ia February 1"C,
and front lv to 143 wasempWtd
onderCart Fraucis KawdouM. Cro
lier as male ia Terror oa her voyage to
tiie AalarJc Ocean for purpwes cl
magnetic researih and grograj ticat
The w ill of the late Ge.rp? II. Car'.e
too, cf Georgetown, Mass., tvj:-)ca.bs
f.Vi,XVI for the establishment of a
Carietoa Home in Georgetown fcr sgd
people of both seies; f-",C0 for tbe
Periey free school: for Protective
Lodge, I. O. IK F.; f..r the poor
fund of the Porley tr-istce; J '..coo es h
to tbe firrt Oottgregaiional, Memorial.
Raptit a:id St. Mary's churches, to t
Used for the beceSt of tbe poor.
Cbacg Yen Hiin, successor to Wu
Ticg Fang, Ctiiiie amtassador a;
Washington, is k a as "the Jacd v
of the Oner.L' H:s iitiliiuer's bill is
said to eqaal that of a society womau
and hi gerseral hal us are of the o.t
expensive kind. Lite Lis preclecvssors
be is a ready after-ci.aner talker, hav.
itg acquired great reputation ia this
accompliyhmeiit -hiV attached to the
Chinese legation ia Lot; Joa so:i;e yars
"It used to bi thought that the soiiS
of clergymen were;-t to be wcr;i.!t-s
hje'r-d.vweei-s' a:id ti.ere wtre s.i
i for that," savs J.evph IHa M.ilt r
The Sutjrday E.euing Post. "But
De Caudale, the i;sti;tguihed Frem h
savant, says thsl lie sons ot iuu:isteis
Lave contributed to sci.ioe more eui:
nect men thr arsy other cias. lie
miht have adii!, l.x tljst they have
a.!0 sad.ea lae ra:is oi tne poe.
heoiogiaus, and n. a few . f the mili
tary heroes vt the pst."
A Brooklyn druggist who exhibited
in bis window a troi of y.-u'.g chiik
ens brilliantly dved ia ar.iliue eoior.
receivtd waning fro;u the S. P. C. A.
He defends bim.-H'if bv r:irg that t o
ved the e-.;.r not the chickens, ar.d
riles proof to th contrary. Soien?::
in biology have the ca-? under advis
Twenty societies ati l asstciations in
Philadelphia interested iubcaui.fyit.tr,
lh city p.rks public pla-.vs and ave-
ues have formal a;i orii'i;ioa cvll-
ed the Art Federation cf Phi'adelphia.
Theide.i is th it un.ud effort wi.lte
fsr more efiVctiv than the separate
actiou th;tt has hitherto been the rule.
"I dida't tell you, did I, Mildred,"
id Mr. Cavil to bis wife, "mat I saw
your si.ttr Jane downtown -.his day a
"No, you didn't, Charits Augustus
av.L," replied Mrs. Cavil. "Why
Well, you :'
"Yes, I see. You mvt the only sis
ter I have in the wo: Id, and instead of
comiug straight home and teliing ne
about it, a ar.y re-p-.-ctab'.e h'lt-barid
wihiI.I have d ne, th svne tiny, you
kept the matter a ret a whue wk.
and then ask cirr-!rs-!y if you have
mentioned the fact fi.it you si her."
"But my dear''
"Don't b:t r.!. Charles Augustus
CaviL I fcave it. d .;:t that she wnt
me a mess;re by y -u, and you not only
failed to deliver it, but by t'uis time you
have forgotten what it athnit. TH
me if thai is:i't the esse?''
"My dear, it w . t!.u way"
"Don't teil ras it was that way.
Charles Augustus Cavil; I know exact
ly how it was. You i:vp!y dida't care
straw whether I knew that you had
wea MsterJsne or not, or oti wou:a
not have waited a whole week tot el
me you had seen hr."
'But I didu't say I saw her, Mr.
Cavil said at length.
"Then I'd like to know wh it you
did say, Charhs Ai!utus Cavil."
"I A-ked you if I had told you that
I saw her," explained Mr. Cavil.
"Well, wby didu't you tell me ? '
"The rA-oii I didrt'l tell you was
because I didu't o- her. That's a!L"
Mrs. Cavil gapei aud was speech
less. Harper's Hjur
Australian S'-oke Story.
Having oftc'.i ht :ir.l that over n
your side of the woiLlmany "ssake
yarns are told which ur? bird to beat, I
send the foliow u g from Au-traii and
do not fancy yJ ran yet overreach it.
It appeared ia a I-hmI pqT as au epi
sle which had jus-, occurred: "A
woaian in a country district was wash
ing outside, put the bahy with ftedit.g
bottle iu per.vubulator: a sanke gt into
'pram,' took .et f bottle out of child's
m-Hith. began to suck it, pu:tiig its
ta I into child's mouth a a suiMt u'e to
keep it quiet-" A'tr;i:a Lttur ia
New York Sun.
A Sclticis Jcke.
-Yea," rer.nrkid the funny sh v
nifcker, ' I'm in fiv.r of w.meu'a
rights also h.r lefW
"Is that your lv-itjtki?" .-vk rdtho
Suoe-er," answere ths Ir:mk..r,
"and it's awl right at that" Ci:ca'
"What do you thiuk? Ye-terday I
earned my first money?"
"Is that so? How? '
"I sold three dozen emjty wiue bot
tles." Fliegende Blsctter.
"All men are bora equal," q-i ted
the Stcialist "Oh, I d-n't know," re
plied the TrinVr; "sorue aro born with
more wealth of hair tiua others."
The corporation of Scarborough,
England, has decided to aaaje a new
thoroughfare "Ladysmith avenue."
It is not intended, however, to imply
that If a person once get into the new
street he can not get out fcr four
A littltjlire may Us
acriiievd to a
sudden attack if cra-.p, if you dou t
have Dr. Tho.nas's Electric Od oa
hand for the emergency.