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title: 'The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, August 19, 1896, Image 1',
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(Trie Forest Republican
Ii published every Wndn s lay, by
J. E. WEMK.
Office In Smearbaugh & Co.'i Building
ELM STREET, TIONF.8TA, TA.
Terma, DI.DOPoi Year,
No subscriptions received tor a ihorter
period than throe months.
Correspondence sollnlts I from All parts of
Die country. No notice will bo taken of
RATES OF ADVERTISING!
One Square, one ln?h, one insertion . .1 10)
One Hquare one inch, one month . ,, 8 00
One Square, one inch, throe months. . f
OneHquare, one inch, one year 10 (M
Two Hquares, one year 1 ,"'
Quarter Column, one year 8 W
Balf Column, one year. S'l IM
One Column, one year 101 IMJ
Leeai advertisements too cents per line
MarriAges and deith notice! gratis.
All bills for yearly advertisom'.'nts collected
quarterly Temporary advertisements must
be paid in advance.
Job work cash on delivery.
VOL. XXIX. NO. 18. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUG. 19, 189G. S1.00 PER ANNUM.
Tbo American Anti-vivisection So
ciety has declared that hydrophobia
is ft myth.
Over 2,0(10,000 people in the Unitod
States hiivo taken out regular lifo in-r-uranco
policies, whioh nro now in
A nice old lody put $1700 into a
Maine savings bank in 1872. Tho
other Jay the administrator drew out
85140.02. But what good did that do
tho nice old lady?
How much more important Taris is
than any otbor French city is shown
by their populations. Paris has about
2,500,000 inhabitant and of tho two
cities that ennio nearest her Lyons
and I Marseilles neither has quite
Georgia has nlready boeome tho
peach orchard of the world. Within
a few years tho number of peach trees
in the Stoto has grown until tho oroli
nrds count their troe no longer by
hundreds and thousands but by hun
dreds of thousands.
What's one's meat poisoncth an
other. Because Town Clerk Collins,
of North Anson, Mo., hoarkenod to
Cupid's hints and eloped, other poople
in North Anson who wish marriugo
lieonsos have got to wait for a special
town meeting to name a new olerk.
Ono of tho leading papers of Mad
rid is authority for the statement that
Spain has squandered no loss than
819,321,000 in her effort tosnbdtio the
Cubans. Kiuco the outbreak of tho
present revoluiou sho has Bent upon
this fruitless errand of subjugation as
many as forty generals, 562 chiefs,
47(58 captains and lieutenants, 112, 5(50
corporals and soldiers, 143 cannons,
150,000 rilles, COOO bayonets, 23,000
cases of canister shot, G1,878,3G8 cart
ridges and 72,32(5 kilograms of pow
der. Notwithstanding this enormous
expenditure of money and eupplios,
the cause of Spain has gained but lit
tlo advantage over that of Cuba during
the eighteen months. "The Cubans
nro making a brave fight," oxolaims
the Atlanta Constitution.
Lady Burton's will is a curious
document. She gave orders that after
Lor death a doctor should pioroo hor
heart with a needle; sho was then to
be eubalmod in a curious way and
placod by tho sido of hor husband ia
tho tent at Mortluko. She had bought
A vault, howevor, and left direotions
that in case a revolution should broak
out in England that aimed at the
desecration of tho dead, her body and
her husband's shall be placed in the
vault. The strangest provision, how
ever, in view of the loyal manner in
which bis wife stood by Sir Richard
Burton during his lifotimo, is that by
whioh Mr. Coote, Secretary of the Na
tional Vigilance Sooioty, the English
Anthony Comstook, is made a literary
trustee for Bnrton's works, and is
directed not to allow an indecent or
coarse word to bo issued in connection
with the publication of his books. It
was by Mr. Coote'B advice that she
burned her husband's "Scented
Garden," fcr which she had beon of
fered 830,000, and another work for
which 88000 was to bo paid.
The number of foreign estates await'
ing American inheritors does not di
minish, though the inboritors never
enter in and possess thorn, remarks
the New York Tribune. They vanish
on approach like the end of a rain
bow showing where the pot of gold is
buried. The last ono to turn up is
appraised at 80,000,000, and is
claimed by representatives of the
Holt family, resident hero. It dates
back about two hundred years, the
nest egg having been laid by a Lord
Chiof Justice of the reigns of William
III. and Queen Anne. It lay in the
pickle vat of chancery something like
one hundred and fifty years, and then
heirs-at-law began to appear, but the
only thing certainly known of thorn is
that none of them ever got anything,
and nobody has, yet succeeded in lo
cating any of the property. Still the
present American cluimants are cer
tain it is there, and their lawyer as
sures them that they have a good case.
They will, no doubt, bo called upon to
advance some money to carry on in
vestigations, and when thut is spent
they will be asked for more. So long
as enough is forthcoming to keep the
cogs and sprockets of the acting attor
ney well oiled, the property will con
tinue to present an alluring aspect,
but after thut it will go into tho
eclipse of chuuoory ugoiu, and remain
occulted fur uuotker hundred years or
to. I'erhnps another crop of fools
may turu up by tbut time ready for
nuother crab at the Fortnuatus
purbu of the old Chief Justice, and if
to, unless things ehunge materially in
the iutcrv.il, they will find plenty of
lawyers to encourage them.
LOSSES AND GAINS.
Though God has vollod Ills purpose
From our unseeing eyes, .
Ho bids us hope unceasing
Tho weakling as tho wine.
lie mnkne tho glowing future
To blossom from the Now;
Of ills He eoinirth blessings,
Although wo know not how.
And In the flory furnaco
Of sorrow and of loss,
His alohemy divorces
Truo motiil from tho Jross.
As who would oan tho pleasure,
Tbo verdant vale's delights,
Must first, with steps untiring,
Asoend tho mountain heights.
Mayhap tostnigglo onward,
With bruised and blooding feet,
Ere half the weary journey
Before him bo complete.
So rises Man, tho pilgrim,
On lessons bought with pain,
Aud learns there Is no losing
Without a greater gain.
-Frauk Futuam, Id Chicago Tlrnos-IIerald
M TWO DUELS.
inuuuti I am per
haps the least
in the world, it has
been my fate to
fight no loss than
two duels. One I
confess to have
sought; the other
was thrust upon
me ; both occurred
during tbo nine
tios of this nineteenth
oaoh I roceived some bodily hurt,
first of my duols took place in a smoll
town or Houtnorn France. I was i
resident there for the winter, hod t
tiny bachelor villa, and (through for
mer acquaintance with the place) was
on pretty intimate terms with a good
many of my neighbors. There was an
English element in the place, but the
French of course predominated, and
it was with the Frenchmen I usually
found inysolf. Tho man with whom I
fought was a Frovenoal, born close by.
He was a big, Btragsrlinir fellow.
lean, and with a bright bird's eye that
was alwayB glittering on you. He was
gentleman undoubtedly, had been
educated in Marseilles, and had never
wandered fifty miles from the Riviera
Boost. He wasprobably the most narrow-minded
man that ever lived, and,
on diet of books and Anglophobe news
papers, ho had imbibed a blind and
poisonous hatred for the British Na
tion that was unique in its complete'
ness. His namo was D'Arblay, and
be oalled himself my friend.
This was the funny thing about the
man. lio cultivated the society of
Englishmen, and individually (1 think)
he liked thorn. IIe was eternally
running down pernao Albion, but no
body took much notico of that. The
Englishman who lives abroad is so en
tiroly oonlldent about the superiority
ol nis own island that no doosu t ofton
break out in patriotio vein. It isn't
lis way. Besides, ho finds that one
ihort pitying smiio often servos his
purpose better than a whole volume
Now, for two years I had endured
D'Arblaj's roviliugs of my native land
with no more forcible retort than a
lorios of those pitying smiles ; and I
think in tho end ho bogau to hate me,
for one day, without warning, ho
started on a fresh topio whioh he must
have known was caioulatod to wound
me deeply. He commenced to talk
mild evil about some one I cared for
very much indeed, and that in a club
bouso before the ordinary mixed
gathering of other men.
I warnod him once, twice, and the
third time ; aud ho always said that
ho moaut no harm, and turned oil
what I had said with easy badinage
and continued his theme. But at last
I saw, or thought I taw, his motive,
and a hot anger boiled up in me.
"D'Arblay," 1 said, "if you want to
fight, Bay bo like a man. But drop
talking about that girl or I shall throw
this inkstand at you bead."
"M'siou," he retorted, "I dispute
yonr right to be the oensor of my con
versation. Tho 'lady in question "
I threw the inkstand.
The glass missed him, bat the black
Quid spurted over his face, and the
technicul insult bad beon given and
He bowed formally and loft the club
house, I spoke to a couple of my friends
and followed bis example. Later be
appointed two seconds, und they con
suitea, wuu mine; ana a time was
fixed for the meeting, and swords
were chosen as the weapons.
D'Arblay was an average swordsman.
1 niul seen nun practise with a maitre
d'escrime, and has gauged bis powers
pretty well. For myself I knew of
the art of fenoing absolutely nothing
whatever; and, when everything
was snugly arranged (or the duel.
thought of this fuct with something
more tnan annoyance. 1 particularly
did not want to be killed, beoause
well, because a certain lady bad
promised to marry me within a short
time, aud I well, I did not want to
disappoint her. And there was no
bucking out of the duel. One could
afford to laugh at such a meeting in
England; but in France 'it is another
matter, i.veu the English winter res
idonts would have looked askance at
me if I tried to disentangle myself,
Moreover, tbore was another thing,
more dangerous than wounds or death.
and mat was jriaicuio. a man may
put up with being Killed, but be can
not endure being laughed at. So I
made up my mind that, if D'Arblay
aid not disable me nrst, i would leave
my mark on him in a way there was
no mistaking. Mind, I did not want
to kill the fellow, only I did not in
tend to be mixed up iu an affair whioh
the newspapers could define as
"another bloodness encounter" and
dismiss, with jeering purugrugh.
So, to sum no, I went on the field
determined on forcing a serious, fight,
and a good deal fearing lest I myself
should be the one to sutler.
Wo drove out to tbo placo of meet
ing in the early morning, with a keen
minstrel blowing which chilled ono to
the bone. The others arrived simul
taneously, Tbore was quite a congre
gation ot ns; four seconds, two doo
tors, and the principals. But D'Arb
lay, being a Frenchman, liked the
orowd, and I had to bow to the eti
quette of the country.
No politeness could havo been more
punotilious than ours, and none more
icy. Wo two principals stripped to
shirt and trousers, and I stood on the
frost rimmod grass in my stocking
feet. D'Arblay was opposito me,
smiling grimly. We saluted oue an
other with the bare, glittoriDg rapiers,
and a second took up position behind
each of us, standing ready with a
walking stick to knock up the blades
at tho least sign of a foul stroke. At
least so I was warned. To myself I
was wondering what a "foul stroke"
might be, so ignorant was I of the very
elements of fenoing. But I said noth
ing about this, and, when D'Arblay
crossed blades with mine, I engaged
him with whirling fury.
The blue steel flashed and stabbed a
thousand ciroles in the chill morning
air, and a pang of fear gripped me by
the heart. I seemed to feel his blado
passing through me in a hundred
places. Death appeared inevitable,
Every second I marvelled at finding
To myselt I aoeepted a mortal wound
as inevitable ; but 1 lusted to get my
own blado through D'Arblay's body
before I was killed. I could hardly
soe him. Our panting breath bung
gray under the cold morning sun, so
that we fought in a clammy mist. J
lunged aud passadoed, barely guard
ing at all, fighting on the offensive
only, through sheer greed of getting
in my blow before I was bore de com
bat. Then, before I knew what was hap
pening, the duel ended. I was con
scious of a feeling somewhere or other
of a soar as with a hot iron. I under
stood that it meant I was wounded,
and dully wondered where, though
without being able to locate the hurt,
I saw the walkingjstioks of the seconds
uprise to beat down our weapons, and
at the same moment 1 board L Arblay
utter a shriek of pain. A heavy oone
clashed down on my blade, and I drew
back nearly burst for want of breath.
These things take long to tell, but the
whole of them happened within one
tick of a olook.
The surgeons ruohod up to ns with
lint and bandages. Blood was run
ning from my fingers onto the rapier's
hilt. D'Arblay had scored my right
forearm with a shallow gash a dozen
inches long. He himself was in a worse
case; I had ran him through the
My seconds tried to hold me back,
but I was too warmed up to caro muoh
for the etiquette of tho French duello
then. I went to where D'Arblay lay
In the surgeon's bauds, with blood pat
tering from my fingers on to the grass.
'Al Biou will apologize, 1 hope? I
may mention that the lady is engaged
to me." v
"I didn't know it," said my oppo
nent. "Why didn't you toll me bo-
fore? My dear follow, 1 am most
abominably sorry for having chattered.
You have given me a pig of a stab,
and that ought .to settle accounts be
tween us. Will you oome and break
fast with me when we're both tied up?"
One of the seconds murmured at
Sir," 1 said, "if you nave auything
to complain of, may I bear it?"
"Monsieur, he replied, "1 think we
had better consider this affair as ended
The other duel in which I took part
was none of my peeking. It happened
last year in Florida, where my wile
and I were spending the winter, and
was thrust upon me in a manner little
ehort of murderous.
The beginning was in this wise ; I
detected a man cheating at cards. I
was not playiug myself, bat the cheat
ing was douo to swindle a fellow who
was mv friend, aud, because I saw it,
beyond, shadow of donbt, I called out
to him to stop play. Of course, there
was a row, and if the sharper had not
been in a minority of one there might
well have been shooting. But, as it
was, the thing was uttorly flagrant ;
iudeed, tho man himself did not at
tempt to deny it, and he went away
scattering nothing more dangerous
than venomous wordy threats. We
were left triumphant possessors of the
fiold, and I waxed pedantio to my
friend ovor tho danger of playing
games of chanoe for the coin of the
realm with casual hotel acquaintances.
Three days later I went off into the
Everglades alligator shooting, and for
deer also, if I could come across any.
Now what the spot was like will not
be spoken of here in detail. Sufficient
to mention that a:nong otber things l
came upon an orchid which I imagined
to be new, aud all thoughts ol shoot
iug were for the time submerged be
neath the ardor of the collector. I
laid down my rifle (a Remington .400)
against the stem of a magnolia tree
and began to feast my eyes upon the
trails of banging blossoms.
I suppose I must have dawdled there
a full hour, sketching, measuring, tuk
ing notes, culling specimens, when of
a sudden something went wisp pant the
top of my head, and then, close to,
sounded the noisy crack of a heavy
ride. By a sort of useless instinct, the
first thing I did was to start backward
aud to duok my head ; the next to
sture wiidly around tue. A glance
showed beyond question where the
bullet hnd come from. Down a glade
of live ouke, not sixty yards away,
man was busily engaged iu slipping a
fresh cartridge into the breech of a
ride, which hud gray smoko wreaths
still crawling slowly from its muzzlo
It was the fellow I hud exposed for
i cheating at curds.
As I gazed, he finished loading and
sharply raised his weapon. I turned
and ran like a frightened dog, zigzag
ging in ay course to oonfuse his aim,
and making for the magnolia tree.
There I snatched up my own rifle, and
darted behind tbo trunk. I stopped
and listenod. Not a sound was to be
hoard which rose above the warm hum
of the insects and the other never
ceasing noises of tho forost. I oould
not doubt that the man was watching
me and waiting for bis next opportune
ity to pick me off. My gorge rose at
the thought of him. Brute I If he
could fire a sitting shot at an unsus
pecting man, I knew what I had to ex
pect, and what I must do if my own
life was to be saved. I bad to depend
on myself. In that solitude the next
human creature might be twenty miles
A bullet bad struck the tree, and the
noise of the shot oame close upon its
heols, I swung out from behind the
trunk and lifted my rifle, when an
other shot whistled out from beneath
the live oaks, and I was poorer by the
loss of an ear lobe. My own bullet
rattled harmlessly among the tree
twigs, and I strode back to shelter,
raging and bleeding.
The passion nf murdor burned in me
then like a torch. The heat of the day
seemed to have passed completely
away. The perspiration which stood
on my body turned cold as an ice
douche. Never before had my thoughts
gushed up with such clearness and
strength. It was a duel to the death
between me and the sharper, and he
had drawn first blood, and I had got
Tbe words seemed floating in the
hot air before me "Kill I kill I kill I"
I had reloaded the Remington, and
stood with ears strained to catch the
slightest sound whioh told of my en
emy's moving. Till that moment I
had supposed his rifle was a repeater.
Now another idea came to me. There
had been two reports; one short and
sharp, the otber heavier and more
noisy. Of course, the thing was clear.
He bad fired a revolver shot first, to
draw me from my oover ; had dropped
the smaller weapon the moment he
pulled trigger ; and had fired on me
with the rifle directly I emerged from
oover. The fiendish ounning of tbe
man made my hate for him glow in me
like a draught of raw spirits.
All idea ot fairness (if indeed such
bad ever occurred to me) was com
pletely swept away by that time. I
would fight him by bis own methods.
Tbe only question was one of means.
As matters stood, I lay ensoonsed be
hind the stem of the magnolia, and,
if I stepped out of its shelter, I should
have to take his lire before 1 could get
in my own. As a snap shot I was very
consoious of my own defioienoies;
from observation I had a high estimate
of his skill.
But a brain working at the presiure
which mine was put to then yields np
unexpected fruits; and when the idea
did at lost come to me I could have
sung for very joy. But there was too
much danger in it to increase the
risks unnecessarily. I slung my rifle
by its strap aoross my shoulder, and
turned round and commenoed to
climb the magnolia.
The stem had been split by light
ning, or I could not have got up with
out my hands being seen ronnd the
sides, and, as it was, the climb to the
first branch was desperately hard ; but
I had the strength of ten men in me
then, and the silent wilyness of a
Seminole, and I gained the cover ot
the foliage without having made a
slip or oraoked a twig.
With the caution of a lynx I made
my way np tbe ladder of branches,
going higher and higher till there was
barely one layer of the dark green
shining loaves botween me and the
burning sky above ; and then I looked
about me till I found a steady Beat ;
and then I unslung the Remington
from my shoulders. I brushed the
rustling ourtain of leaves softly aside
with the muzzle and peered out. My
enemy was on his old ground, stand
ing beneath the live oaks with his rifle
at the ready. Some indefinable sus
picion must have got bold of him, for
at that moment he looked np.
The reports of the two rifles rang
np into the heated air simultaneously,
but mine was the better aim. His
bullet whistled through the durk green
leaves a foot from my head; mine
broke bis right elbow joint.
I reloaded and hailed him. There
was a pool of black water on the
nearer side of tho live oaks, and the
snout and eyebrows of an alligater
showed upon the surface like two
knots of dead wood.
"Take your ride," I said, "and that
revolver aud throw them into the
He hesitated, nursing his wounded
arm in the palm of his hand, and glar
ing at me like a fiend.
"Quick I" I said. "If yon take time
to think twice more I'll shoot you
He picked up the weapons one by
one and then dropped them into the
water with sullen splashes. . The rep
tiles in the pool, frightened by tho
noise, sank down to the mud below,
where they luy.
"Now," I said, "go!" and he went,
and I watched until he was out of
sight among tho tree trunks ana the
Then I climbed down and gathered
my orchids und went home by another
way, koepiug a very sharp lookout. I
trusted little to thut man's chivalry.
I have &t en another fellow cheat at
curds since then, but that was in
South America, aud I did not feel
culled upon to interfere. Two duels
have been quito enough for mo.
Eleven hundred aud thirty-one per
sons have entered for the preliminary
examinations to Yulo University; 728
of these are for the aoii lotuio depart
meut aud 40 ) fur the Sheffield Suieu
THE MEttU'K SIDE OF LIFE.
8T0RIK3 THAT ARE TOLD BT TUB
. FUWNT MEN OF THE PRESS.
A Convenient Place Too Had Knew
What Was Comlog In Confidence
i' Quite Necessary, Ktc, Etc.
In the days of Hiawatha,
When the' Injun wasn't fighting,
Then he used to put tho hatohut
'Neath the oartli or 'neath a rockj
If the Injun lived to-day, I
Think that when this wor was over
He would hie him to his uncle
Aud would put the ax in hock.
1 . New York World.
"' TOO BAD.
A. Wheeler "Doesn't he look well?"
T. Ires (in disgust) "Yes ; ho's
ono of those cranks who won't ride a
KNEW WnAT WAS COMINrt.
Cnmso "Rickotts is about to chango
Cawker "Where is ho going to open
his bicycle store?"
Friend "What are your reasons
Suburbanite "Malaria and the
lawn mower." ruck.
HE IiOOKED TO THE RIflHT AND IjEFT.
Miss Wheeler "Isn't the scenery
beautiful along that road?"
Rydor "Very I I'm using court
plaster and arnica on account of that
THE PBOPER COtTBSE.
Assistant "Wasn't it Harvey who
discovered the circnlation of tho
Editor (absently) "I don't know.
Didn't be mako an affidavit?" Puck.
Cobwigger "Didn't you think it
rather foolish for her to ubk you if her
hat was on straight?" j
Merritt "No. It was on a rai
train, and we had just come out u v
TUB OIF! HOItSE.
"Pretty soon, I suppose," mur
mured thecx-cowboy, "we'll even havo
to chango our proverbs."
"Which ono, for instanoe?"
"We'll have to say that one should
not look a gift bicycle in tho spokes."
Jack "There goes a man who is
knewn in nearly every city in tbo
United States, yet I don't believe ho
has a friend in the whole world."
Madge "Who is he?"
j Jaok "A basoball umpire." Nor
A BMAIJj BEGINNING, BCT
"I am poor," ho said ; "it would ho
many years beforo I could give my
wifo a yacht."
"Well," answered the girl of 'Ol;
"couldn't yon commtuou with a little
i And so it came to pass.
Invention Enthusiast "I - under
stand that Kcely has constructed a
cylinder that will stand a pressure of
3500 pouuds to the square inch."
Pretty Girl (who hasn't been hugged
for a year) "Huh 1 I don't think
that's muoh?" New York iVcekly.
First Boarder "I understand that
tho landlady is to take a trip to tho
! Second Boarder "Is that so? If
the train would stop loner enough at
the stations, she could give tho rail
way - restaurant people some groat
I A CULTIVATED TASTE.
, Mr. Moth "What a horrible flavor
of moth balls this sucque has I"
Mro. Moth "Dear mo, Algernon,
yon are positively disgusting. Dou't
you know thai a liking for carbolic
acid and tar is the best evidence that
one has moved in good society an I -inquired
a cultivated taste?" Ciu.'iii
HOIST BY HIS OWH rETBD.
, Casey (confidentially, to tho fore
man) "Oi've bin ai'ther watou.u'
Kerrigan for th' lusht two hours, an'
devil a shtroko uv wur-ruk hoz ho
done in all thot toimo."
Foreman "Bo bivins! Kerrigan
wuz just afther oomin' t' mo wit' tu'
same information about yorsilf. Ye,
are botj discharged, for wutchiu' iu
etid uv wur-rkiu'." Puck.
1118 COIN TIIEOnY.
"rop," said Willie, "what's a gold
bug?" i "That, my son, is what they call
the men who want gold money."
"And I suppose a silver-bug is a
man who wants silver mouov?"
"That's it exactly."
"Well, say, pop I'm ouly a little
feller, aud am Mitisfic 1 with being a
nickel-bug. Uimmeone, will jer?"
A COMIC DCEr..
Reddit "I see tho French htve de
vised a rather novel regulation for
their dueling code, which is expected
to do away entirely with bloodxbed."
Wellnow "What is it? Have them
fight simply with expletives, or use
brass knuckles tit oue hundred feet
Reddit "Xo ; it provides for the uso
of bullet-proof veets."
Wellnow "It seems that if tho au
tagouists can wcartlioe things they'll
be making a field of honor out of every
four-acre lot iu Frauce. "
Reddit "Ob ! but tbevebUnrjfjr
SCIENTIFIC AND ISDCSTKUU
A pound of phosphorus heads 1,000,.
The latent application of asbestos in
electricity is called the olectrotherm,
and is used in hospitals, in place of the
old-fashioned hot-water bottle.
It has been noted that there baa
been no drought in Southern Calt-
fornir in those districts in which tbo
eucalyptus trees have been extensively
Permission has booa asked tho au
thorities of tho City of Moxioo to al
low the chango from mule power to
olectrioity on the streot railroads with
in the city.
On the eastern coast of Irelnnd it
rains on an average of 208 days in the
year, in England about 150 days, at
Kazan about ninety days and in Si
beria only sixty days.
The elephant is commonly supposed
to bo a slow, clumsy fellow, but when
excited or frightened can attain a
speed of twenty miles an hour and can
keep it np for a half a day.
No parental care ever falls to the
lot of a single member of the insect
tribe. In general, the eggs of an in
sect are destined to be hatched long
after the parents are dead.
A motor tricycle attracted ranch at
tention at a recent display of autocars
in London. The inventor is an Ameri
can. The car is seated for four per
sons and weighs only 400 pounds.
Compressed hot water is said to bo
a remarkably cheap motive power,
and the New York Central authorities
are thinking of running fast trains
between New York and Albany by its
Professor Charles Stewart told the
the British Royal Institution the other
day that there are 334,000 hairs on
the human body. He said that be
would not be particular to a hair or
two one way or the other, but the
above number was the average, for he
bad counted them.
Two English bacteriologists oon
slude that an average of 1500 microbes
.must bo inhalod into tbe nose every
bour, while in London the numbor
)St often reaoh 14,000. The organ-
ms are caugut oy tne nose and passoa
to tha digestive organs, which in
health destroy them.
Long distance telephones have been
placed in tho smallest Swiss villages,
making it possible to oommunicate
from one end to the other of tho coun
try on instruments kept in perfect re
pair, and on whioh one can hear dis
tinctly. The fee varies from two to
eight cents a message. Electric light
ing from water power has been iutro
dvced in even small places.
Preaching Still at Nincly-Ono.
It is an unusual thing, indeed, for a
minister to be in active service at tho
ripe old ago of ninoty-one, and it is
a more unusual thing for a minister
to continue without salary as pastor
of one ohargo for fifty-five years with
still no definite time for retirement
therefrom to look forward to. There
is such a minister in Montgomery
County, however in the person of
Eldor Jonathan Van Clove, pastor of
tho Indian Creek Baptist Church.
The venerable Jonathan Van Clove
is tbo recognized patriarch ol his do
nomination, and throughout the cen
tral States his name is a household
word in all Primitive Baptist families.
He has been a great traveling
preaoher, always at his own expense,
and while "oveiy third Sunday" finds
him in his own pilpit, every othor
Sunday finds him in soane other pulpit,
perhaps hundreds ot miles from his
Although ninety-one years old, his
form is erect, his eye clear aud spark
ling, his voice resouaut aud ringing
and his mind and memory unimpaired.
Ho remembers with distinctness every
incident of his youth, and, what is
unusual with old men, he perfectly
romembors all iucidents aud circum
stances of his later years. He reasons
as ho always reasoned, and iu tha
revolution of church an 1 creed he
clings to the religious tenets of his
early ministry. He has tho hearing
of a man of sixty, tho tireless energy
of a youth of thirty. Indianapolis
A Remarkable Counterfeiter,
Walter N. Owofis, a farmer of Okla
homa, was sontencod on Friday, at
Wichita, Kan., to servo a term in the
penitentiary at Leavonworth for coun
terfeiting. The case, to some extent,
is a remarkablo one. Previous to his
arrest he had always borne a good
reputation. Two years ago ho was a
juror in the United States Court here
and tried a counterfeiter. Duriug the
progress of tho trial counterfeiters'
tools were exhibited aud evidence in
troduced showing bow false moneys
were coined. Owens examined the
tools closely and listened to the evi
dence attentively. After the conclu
sion of tho trial be went home and
made counterfeiting tools himself aud
proceeded to work. Owing to his
good repututiou he made aud passed
a great deal of spurious money before
he was detected, New Orleans Times
Democrat. Mule birds Lead tho Way.
Whea birds are inigiatiu; the male;
usually precede the females. The
robins, for instance, which uro seen
curly iu the year are almost invaria
bly males, which apparently traveled
on before their mutes. The female
bird follow, perhaps because they are
not such powerlul flyers, aud uUo,
porhap.', because they like to take
their time uud gossip with oue au
other. In the full the male birds leuve
first the old ones while the females
travel along together with their
youug, solioitious for their welfure,
uud still traiuing them utter the
iu.sliioi' -' mother birds. New York
The giant powder In the blast
Is blowing up the bouMorsi
Tho maiden with pneumatlo sloovj
Is blowing up her shoulders.
Tho baker to the kitchen maid
Is Wowing up his crumpets;
The milkman in the lower hall
Is blowing up tho trumpets.
The gentle zephyr from the SouIU
Is blowing the narcissus;
The cook who thinks sho knows It "11
Is blowing up the "missus."
The father, down upon his knot,
Is blowing up the tires;
Tho daughter In her bloomer suit,
Is blowing up tbe tires.
nunon of the day.
Handsome is as handsome does, and
handsomo often does as handsome
We may not be able to teach an old
dog new tricks, but lots of ns learn a
great deal while trying. Puck.
"T ts bettor to laugh than be sighing"
Iu poetry sounds very nine;
But laughing will not pay the coalman
And so it won't out any ice.
Don't let your troubles blind you to
the fact that your neighbor's sym
pathy is two-thirds curiosity. Atchi
The wealth of our language is shown
by the fact that "hang it np" and
"chalk it down" moan precisely the
Miss Huggins "My father is very
good at reading faces." Mr. KiBsani
"Then I hod hotter not print any
"One swallow may not make a sum
mer," but it may have occurred to you
that one grasshopper makes more than
a dozen springs.
The more delighted a girl is when a
young man calls on her, tbe longer
she stays np stairs to primp up before
she comes down. The South-West.
A man doesn't fully realize the re
sponsibilities of life until he is called
upon to open a can of salmon with a
pair of scissors. The South-West.
Doctor "If you bind salt pork on
your face it will cure the toothache."
Patient "But, dootor, won't it give
me pork chops?" Detroit Free Press.
As to some of our statesmen, it is
doubtful whether they look the oour
ngo of their opinions, or the oourago
to admit that they haven't any
opinions. Puck. (
Jim Senn "Why do they call
money the 'long greou?'" Joo Cose
"Negatively, 1 suppose; beoause
without it you are short and blue."--Philadelphia
Proprietor "Whore is the book
keeper?" Oflice Boy "He isn't in.
His wife sent him word that the baby
was asleep, and he's gone home to see
what it looks like." Standard.
"Whoro nro you going, my protty
maid?" "Going a-walkiug, kind Bir,"
she said. "May I go with you, my
pretty mnid?" "I don't walk with a
stick, kind sir," sho said. Wrinkto.
Hoax "What! You buying a bi
cycle? I thought you detested them.
Joax "So I Wo, but I'vo boon run
over long enough. Now I'm going to
havo my revenge." Philadelphia
He "When I nm married I'll mako
a practioo of coming down to dinner
every evening in a dress suit." She
"And after you've been married awhile,
I've no doubt, you'll como down to
breakfast in one." Truth.
Invontion Euthusiaht "I under
stand that Kecly has constructed a
cylinder that will stand o pressure of
8500 pouuds to the sqnaro inch."
Protty Girl (who hasn't been hugged
for a year) "Huh I I dou't think,...
that's much." New York Weekly.
"Your son, I believe, made name
experiments while at college?" "Yes,
he discovered what he calls his 'soion
tilio paradox.' " "What is the nature
of it?" "He succeeded iu demon
strating thut debts are expanded by
contracting them." Washington
President Rox "But your account
is already overdrawn, bo I don't see
how we can honor your further de
mauds." Sho "But I sco lots of
poople depositing! why cau't you give
mo some of tnoirs? They've already
paid in much more than I've drawn
Sho t'iur;iit lit in.
A young married woman was look
ing at a vacaut house on I'acillo ave
nue tbe other day with a view to rent
ing, when sho beard a noise in one of
the upper rooms. She went up to see
what it was, and was almost sure that
sho saw a man dodge into a closet and
close the door after him. Her first im
pulse was to run aud scream, but see
ing tbe key iu the door she walkod
slowly across the room aud turned the
key. Then she ran for a policeman.
It was in the morning and she could
Uud none, so went home to lunoh and
forgot all about her prisoner till evon
iug. Theu she hunted up an officer
aud wont to tho house.
Whon tho ;closct door was oponed
the half suffocated owner ot the house
tumbled out. He bad gone to the
hcuseto .do some little chores, and
was ohaugiug his clothes wheu his
toilet wus interrupted by tho yonnft
lady's unexpected appearauce, aud he
was forood to seek a refuge iu tho
closet. Sun Frauoisco Post.
Hits I.iltlo (iiil t'ati Iron.
James Gardner, a worker in the
iron mines at Bessemer, Mich., has a
three-year-old daughter who has ac
quired a tuste for iron ore, which she
eats with avidity. Wheu kept from
the mines tho scrupos her father's
shoes aud eats tho scrapings with rel
ish. Doctors do not understand tho
case. Despite h, r strange diet tho
child U healthy and briyht.