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WA sh I ngto n times
NOVEMBER 7, 1918
ARTHUR BRISBANE. Editor and Owner
EDGAR D. SHAW. Publisher
Bntered as second class matter at the Postofrice at Washington, p. c
Published Every Evening (Including Sundays) by
The Washington Times Company, Munsey Bldg., Pennsylvania Ave.
Man Subscriptions: 1 year (Inc. Sundays). J7.B0; 3 Months. $1.95; 1 Month. C3g
THtmSDAT, NOVEMBER T. Mil.
They Are Not the "Bench Warmers," 'Although Ap
pearances "Would Lead TJs to Think bo.
A row of Failures sat on a bench inHhe Park and
watched the world go by.
The early fall day was raw, and the Failures didn't
have any overcoats, consequently they were disposed to be
pessimistic and to envy the well fed. warmly dressed peo
ple that were hurrying back and forth.
The Failures, of course, knew that they were Failures,
but they didn't know why.
They thought it was merely because their pockets were
empty, their ambitions dead, and their spirits low.
One of them begun the world happily, but had met
HI Health on the road and gone back down the hill with
Another had been spoiled by mistaking a LITTLE
SUCCESS for proof of ability and had grown conceited
and indolent in the belief that he was gifted enough to
keep going ahead without working.
A third had been stopped by Whiskey, who has more
ambushes and barricades along the highway to prosperity
than all the rest of men's enemies put together.
So the Failures sat, consumed with bitter envy, and
watched their smug and self-satisfied brothers rush to or
from their work.
If these men had only known it, they need not have
been envious of more than a tenth of the crowd passing
them in review.
For they at least were HONEST FAILURES.
They made no pretense of being anything else.
Among the crowd traveling the asphalt walks was a
man who had been intrusted with the money of a large
number of men and women and children, and FAILED to
refrain from stealing part of it
Another man had been elected to a high position and
FAILED TO ADMINISTER IT IN THE INTEREST OF
THE PEOPLE WHO OAST THEIR VOTES FOR TTTM.
Still another had a family of children whom he
FAILED TO GIVE A FAIR START IN LIFE, neglecting
them for business through the day and for a poker game at
a club at night.
AH these REAL FAILURES wore comfortable clothes,
smoked fat and expensive cigars and maintained an ap
pearance of prosperity which inspired confidence which
they failed to repay.
And, however their unhappy fellows might envy them,
they knew, down deep, that they were the ACTUAL FAIL
URES OF LIFE the men who have great opportunities
and either willfully abuse them, or fail to use them as they
It is one of the cheerful things of existence to know
that these REAL FAILURES are gradually being found
Some day we shall know most of them by sight, and
then we shall ask them why they failed, and make them
show cause why THEY, and not the luckless victims of
drink and ill-health the APPARENT FAILURES
should not be the outcasts of society.
Of course it would be too bad to hurt the feelings of
the REAL FAILURE to suggest to him that he ought
to be adorning a park bench or some even more retired
spot, but much dignity must be ruffled and many feelings
hnrt before we can even begin to make REAL FAILURE
known for what it is.
A Tribute to Congressman
J. L. LEVERTON
THE HOUSE OF FASHION
1106 G Street N. W.
Washington, D. C,
Oct. 23, 1918.
Mr. Arthur Brisbane,
Owner, The Washington Times,
Washington, D. C.
My Dear Mr. Brisbane:
L as an individual, merchant, and American citizen
desire to extend to yon thanks and appreciation of your
very able editorial published in Tne Washington Tunes,
Tuesday, October 22, in defense of Congressman Kitchin.
against the most unfair attacks of the New York Sun.
It so happens that I know the thing uppermost in Mr.
Kitchin '8 mind, in framing the tax bill, was to do justice to
alL andin doing so, he couM not, as you state so clearly in
your editorial, see why the big war profits and millionaires
should not be taxed heavily when all they were giving was
money gotten through the war, while at the same time, our
American boys were giving their lives. He figured no
cost should be commensurate with the giving of one's life.
I am a neighbor and friend of Mr. Kitchin, and for two
months I watched him night and day alone (his family being
in North Carolina), studying these tax problems with the
one idea to do justice to all as he thought the American
people wanted it
May I add, I had the pleasure of showing Mr. Kitchin
the editorial and he was most grateful for your defense, and
expresses himself as being anxious to have the pleasure of
meeting you at the first opportunity.
Again expressing my admiration for your courage to
defend a Congressman's acts, when such is so deserved,
and as an advertiser in The Washington Times, I feel it my
duty to assure you of my support for such a worthy defense
of Congressman Kitchin. Sincerely yours,
J. L. LEgERTON. ,
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Beatrice Fairfax Writes of the Problems and Pitfalls of the War Workers
Especially for Washington Women
A MOTHER who has an af
with her son is doomed to
suffer, sooner or later.
The day when he falls in love
is sure to mean misery for her,
even though the son should re
main as constant as possible to
herself, and the girl he loved
were a seraph with glistanins
There's no escaping the wrench
that this brings. It's more in
evitable than the pangs of birth.
or than those of death, even.
But what does remain within
the control of mothers is their
way of meeting this experience.
And the mother who loves her son
in the right way isn't going to
let jealousy get the better of her,
at this highly critical point in
their lives. She may believe that
she's submitting to being displac
ed, but she's bent on doing it with
grace and sportsmanship.
The hardest thing mothers have
to realize, and the thing some
mothers never realize at all, is
that their son's relations with
girls or young women don't prop
erly concern them.
If they have conscientiously dis
charged every duty of motherhood
up to the time when a youth can
reasonably think of himself as a
lover, there is absolutely nothing
else they can do except withdraw
from the stage and watch for the
appearance of the starry young
creature who is going to play
leading role in the next act.
A mother may enjoy persuading
herself that her son needs her
advice and aid in choosing a girl
to fall in love with. But she is
making a very serious mistake if
she acts on this idea.
She may attempt positive Influ
ence, which takes the form of in
viting the colorless daughter of
well-connected friends to visit at
the house. And the son may set his
teeth and make tiimself agreeable
to the unmagnetlc young lady for
a week at a time. But he Isn't
likely to fall into the marriage
trap so unbeguIUngly baited, and
he is likely to feel some resent
ment toward his mother for her
Other mothers, with a talent for
Intrigue, try negative influence.
That is, they mako a point of de
feating every love-project that
they know their sons to entertain
After expert working In the dark
to discover where the young man's
Interest tends, they unscrupulous
ly devise schemes eiUw to tegar
rate the man and girl, or to cause
a disagreement between them.
There are mothers who seem
utterly without conscience, from
the extent to which they meddle in
their sons' love affairs. Their de
fense would be that they love
their sons too much to see them
get entangled with the wrong girl,
and that it's a great deal Under
and more benevolent to do one's
meddling secretly than openly.
And so skillful are these mater
nal schemes, and so confiding are
their sons that I say it with some
regret they almost never get
Lore Must Be Free.
It a son Isn't able to choose his
own beloved wisely, I can't see
that his mother can help the situa
tion any. He's grown-up. He's
the product of her training. Now
let him act Independently and free
ly. Artificially chosen beloveds
aren't ever satisfactory. Love is
of all others the department of
life where one has to do one's
Therefore, mothers, "Hands off!"
But there are mothers who do
keep their hands off. highly well
behaved mothers who seem to be
thoroughly regardful of their son's
Independence up to tbe time when
the love-affair crystallizes and the
engagement is made known; but
who can't seem to restrain them
selves from emotionally flying to
There seems to be some obscure
natural law that leads a son. even
a devotedly attached son, always
to choose a beloved of a totally
different type from his mother.
This In Itself seems a kind of af
front to the stricken parent If
her son had really loved her,
wouldn't he have wished to marry
a girl as nearly as possible his
Then It's an extremely pleasant
thing to be the person loved best
in all the world by an adorable
youth of twenty. To bo the person
always considered first, consulted
earliest, regarded most tenderly.
A woman couldn't be human and
at the samo time be glad and will
ing to give up all these precious
privileges, and forever, to a strange
girl whom she probably suspects
of being unworthy of them.
No Bride "Good Enough."
It goes without saying that no
girl in the world is "good enough"
to deserve to marry an Idolized
son; but this Is a fact it won't
ever do to comment on.
The important thing to remem
ber is that the self-respecting way
for a mother to act when tho crit
ical moment comes, is also the
only way that will prevent perma
nent alienation between mother
At any possible cost to yourself,
keep your jealousy out of sight.
Keep your wounds, and your tears,
and your hostility out of sight.
And If your son finds that you are
just as friendly and warm-hearted
and dependable as you used to be
In the days when he brought play
mates home from school, this will
be such a comfort to him that he
will love you more than ever.
Even the bride herself will meet
a dangerous rival In the mother
who can face her son's beloved
A son longs to be proud of his
mother, and he will be if she meets
this supremely difficult test.
It's not the easiest thing in the
world to be a mother, at any stage,
from the cradle to the football
field; but the hardest time or all
comes when you must sit smiling,
with hands tied, and watch your
grownrup child make his own
choice between happiness and what
you believe to be destruction.
But don't try to break loose and
You will regret It all the rest of
FROM THE PUBLIC TO THE
Copyright, 1918. Internationa Features Service, In,e.
DOES THIS APPLY TO YOU?
There are a lot of little things you do not know because you aro
too proud to esk questions.
Some day you will be greatly embarrassed because of your lack of
knowledge of small matters any high schooi boy does know.
Several times you have squirmed and beat about the bush to pre
vent certain persons from realizing your deficiencies, but are yon awake
Why not get some books and study up alone the lines you need?
Nothing to be gained by waiting; and the older you are the harder
for you to assimilate knowledge the greater the risk of being found
Of course it is no disgrace to be ignorant if opportunity has
been denied you to be better educated, but it is disgraceful to lack knowl
edge which is yours for the effort.
No one is too old to study, and it is far better for your mental
state in old age to have exercised your brain all along the way.
Don't lose precious time in getting started.
Don't dream don't drift get busy and apply yqursclf to greater
Clerk Wants Pay in Cash.
To tha Editor at THE TIMES: "
Here is a littlo suesestlon to th
Government which. It followed out.
ulll roxull In having the clerks feel
contented Instead of causing them to
grumble at the Injustices done toward
I have been employed in Washing
ton nine months, and during the
whole time have been paid In cash.
Tfie system which was used In pay
ing off ths clerks was very laudable
and efficient. Thousands were paid
off in a few hours. Now we hare re
ceived a notice that we are to be paid
by check two days later than tha
usual pay day. I received my check
thli. afternoon and went to four dif
ferent banks and main postoffiee In
an attempt to cash It, but without
avalL I tried to make another pay-
Great Parade and Review
At Close of War
By BILL PBICE
"Why should not Washincrton beein tentative plans iunr
for the biggest parade and review in the world's history to
commemorate democracy's victory over militarism and
"Why wait for New Tork or some other city to obtaia
official approval first! This city, the workshop which turned
out the army and naw that has done the iob or will do it
in a few months if the Hun hasn't sense enough to know
he's beaten, is the logical place, and now is theological
time to approach hijrh officials who will determine the
matter? . '
It is stated that plans are already being considered for
returning some of the bovs whose valor, steadfastness, and
vim have -helped push the blood-drenched Hun almost back
to ius own soil.
Grandly such an event would stir the nation from end to
end. "When the victorious armies of the North passed in
review before Lincoln only a little better than, half the
nation tingled with triumphal emotions of the hour. The
other -portion was in gloom and despair. A glorious anited
nation would rejoice in this culmination of a harmonious
country's efforts and successes.
From bevond the boundaries of this nation would be
drawn admiration for the heroic accomplishments of the
soldier boys who are types of the people of the United
Allied and neutral nations would look on with pnde and
applaud this method of national and 'world-wide thanks to
men returning to peaceful occupations after the dangers and
hardships of war.
Sister republics of South America which threw their
lot with the United States would doubtless claim a place
somewhere in this mammoth undertaking as an evidence of
the close tie that now binds all the countries of the western
Washington is the one biff city in the country which.
would, from past experience, be able to successfully handle.
sucn a nuge unaenaKing. Her leaaers oi civic organiza
tions have time and again staged' the nation's greatest
parades and reviews, and they would be able to handle the
world's mammoth event of that kind.
"With Pershing's veterans there should march also the
Bed Cross nurses and delegations from -war work organize .
tions that have contributed so splendidly to the happiness
and contentment of the soldiers abroad.
And not to be overlooked in any plan should be '
prominent place for the thousands of civil service employe
in "Washington whose sacrifices for their country through .
health and illness have been countless. These people made
possible the outfitting of the military branches whose
entrance into the war finally threw corroding fear into -the
hearts of the bombastic Teutons, who had been deriding this
country's abilities to do anything of consequence against
It will be possible to have on the grandstand with Presi
dent "Wilson and General Pershing the brilliant military
leaders of the allied countries Foch, Haig, and Diaz, and
even military detachments from the allied armies that
fought side by side with America's brave boys.
. HEARD AND SEEN
Go Over the Top for War "Work!
It ought not require urging for
tvery Washingtonian to put his
shoulder to the wheel that is mov
ing here for the United War Work
Campaign beginning next Monday
and running one week. Whether the
war ends soon or not the fund will
be needed to carry on the great
work of the Y. M. C. A., K. of C
and affiliated organisations. There
must be no neglect of an American
soldier abroad. They must all come
home happy that the folks here con
tinued to think of them and back
DAN CALLAHAN advises me
that it's getting to be quite the
popular thing for whole families to
subscribe to War Savings Stamps
to the maximum amount allowed by
law $1,000 for each individual. E.
D. HATHAWAY, who is prominent
in fraternal circles, has enrolled
Mrs. Hathaway, the two Hathaway
youngsters and himself in "The
S1.000 Club," presided over by
CHARLES J. BELL. Another "W.
S. S.-to-the-limit-family" is that of
W. A. SCHLOBOHM, newspaper
man, with five memberships to his
A fat man signing himself "Ev
erett True No. 2," commenting on
the fac-simile of, the signature of
Commissioner Gardiner, says he
would not like it to strike him.
"Looks too much like the quills of
a porcupine and might prove fatal,"
Commending the Lady Traffic Cop.
Writine at 4 a. m.. a well-known
reader of Heard and Seen says he
thinks it's up to me to say some
thing encouraging about the work
of Mrs. Leola King, the lady traffic
cod at Seventh and K streets. "In
sriite of facetious remarks from
ment on my Liberty bond, and even , funny fellows," he observes, "she is
that was not sufficient to get It hnndllnir tha traffic all riehL"
cashed. We Government clerks have There ;s rather unanimous agree-
?n,buToplnTon to hV.P usout. and , cnt "J L hCds T
your paper Is the only medium. We , Pie watch her each day and she
are patriotic enough to submit to gets away wjui me juu in uusiness-
hardshlps and inconveniences, but in ' like manner. Some of her admirers
ihis case there
them, ana the reasons which are
irlven are entirely inadequate to
cover up the situation.
I am speaking on behalf of the sev
eral clerks In my office, and perhaps
an article by sou will open the eyes
of the officials who are trying to In
troduce efficiency but are really caus
I hope you ulll give thin letter pub
Inlty which will be the means of the
Covrrnment paing out our salaries
in tha oli IfHIWI cash. way.
Is no necessity for declare that she has all the men
traffic cops skinned a mile. Driv
ers of machines and teams do not
try to put anvthing over on her,
either, according to the crowds of
Readers of this column, who are
constantly commenting on things
going on, might write their views
on this subject Give your name,
i r&ED S. WALKER Tha Hydro
electric Commission of Toronto,
Canada, supplies electricity to 13
towns, and has not increased tha
rate, which is now 3 cents a
thousand against the previous rat
of 9 cents under private ownership.
Referred in aemral iIiw4Iom
where it may do good.
Good Stuff for Earl Godwin. '
My Dear Earl Godwin:
(That's Roosevelt's style in
Your request that I write yoa
a few real clever lines that yon
may spring among other army
officers or in vaudeville stunts
in the camp has resulted in tha
It's not the flu bugs from
That trouble ths Kaiser's
It's the flee germs In Heinle's
That make the Crown.
Although I spent forty min
utes on this, I now believe I
could go right on and on reel
ing ofT good stuff of this sort
I must go slow, though, because
these Heard and Seen readers
are on the job and do not hesi
tate to write me wallops of the
PHILANDER JOHNSON may
become become jealous, and I
don't want to mako anybody
Please forward me whatever
war medals there are for ex
traordinarily stirring poetry.
You know me, EarL
JULIA C. BRADLEY Now that
the goat meat question is up, if
people knew how fine goat meat is
they would change their minds.
Raising goats is profitable. They
are wonderful pets, intelligent and
clean. They are better to eat than
chicken. Wish I had a milch goat
Goats giving fair quantities of
milk are priced as high as $35.
PAGE A. COCHRAN asks me about
a new dance, said to have come from
China and to be 2.000 years old. Ha
wonders If it Is really true that tha
world is an eternal cycle and If
there is nothing new. Is It Impos
sible for man to find a new way to
make himself ridiculous?
Answer You've struck the wrong
chap on dancing; but there are
many clever dancers among Heard
and Seen readers. Some of you
write me the history of well-know
da , -u