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~?t --'A WBHBSgBE? REGISTER rt& ..-.-.gw:,, $ :y& ?? 1 ?;??"? ?-? j . t; -?? : , v.\ i ; ? J POINT PLEASjLW, J1 iSON COUNTY, WEST VIRGINIA, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 30.1907. NO. 13: * FORTY-SIXTH YEAR. SCOTCH humorT^T Examplss That Sum t* Provt The* Sydrtay Smith Was Mistakan. Ma* O'Bell, who as a humorist *m an expert and as a Frenchman vm impartial, said to Mr. Harry Kumiss that he found a hundred tine* more humor among the Scotch than among the English Vet Sydney Smith said of Scotch impenetrability to humor that "it takes a surgical operation to get joke -into a Scotch skull," and agaiil; that "there is humor in Scotch skull, but the only imple ment by which you can extract it ?a corkscrew!" Mrs. Seller's "Rec ollections and Impressions" strong lr supports Max O'Rell's as against Sydney Smith's estimate of her countrymen's sense of humor. When, says Mrs. Sellar, a clerical deputation waited on the witty Scotch judge, Lord Young, he ask ed them: "To what religious body dc you belong? The Free church?" "Well, no, not exactly/' they replied hesitatingly. "Oh, 'U. P.'s,' then?" "That," they answered hesitatingly "was nearer the mark. But there are *ome points on which we diverge from the 'U. P.'s.'" "Oh, well cried Lord Young impatiently, " shall write you down as split peas J" W hen a millionaire, who was not W#c?ely an exemplary Christian handed over during his life ?500 000 to the Church of Scotland Lord ^ ouaj desfcribed the deodand as "theheaviest insurance against fire 1 ever heard of." When Mrs. Sellar was dining one d?y at Lord Young's table this witty j'lilg* whispered to her, apropos a delay in handing around the soup "'0 Lord, make haste to help us! would- be- an appropriate grace." This reminds me of tfie grace which Compton, a moraber of the famous old Haymarket company, stam mered out when unexpectedly called upon to "ask a blessing." The only appropriate passage he could recall in hit confusion waj another of the proper book suffrages, "O Lord rn thou our lipe, and our mouths 11 show forth thy praise!" The wife of a Limerick canon, who was used to saying the litany daily in that cathedral, assured me in* his pro^ence?and he did not deny the profane impeachment?that when unexpectedly called upon after a table d'hote dinner at Llandudno to return thanks he stammered out, "From what we have received, good Lord, deliver us!" Then we all re member Elia's delightful remihis cence "of that equivocal wag (but my pleasant schoolfellow), C. V. G., who, when importuned for a grace, inquired, after first slyly leering down the table, "Is there no clergy man here?" significantly adding, "Thank God!"?T. P. O'Connor. Lard flunkat'a Bad Cook. In a chapter on verbal infelicities the author of "Collections and Rec ollection!" relates an anecdote con cerning Archbishop Trench, a man of singularly vague and dreamy hab its, who resigned the see of Dublin on account of advancing years and (ftttled in London. He went some time after to pay a visit to his successor, Lord I'lun ket. Finding himself back again in his old palace, sitting at his old din ner table and gaiing across it at his old wife, he lapsed in memory to the days when he was master of the house and gently remarked to Mrs. Trench: "1 am afraid, my love, that we j must put this cook dowu among our 1 failures." What the feelings of Lord and Litdy Plunket were on hearing this comment history does not relate. A Heavy Load to Carry. Along -with dyspepsia comes nervous ness and general ill-health. Why? Be cause a disordered stomach does not per mit tho food to be properly digested, and Its products assimilated by the system. The blood is charged with poisons which come from this disordered digestion, and In turn tho nerve* are not fed on good, rod blood, and wo see symptoms of nerv ousness, sleeplessness and general break down. It Is not head work, nor over phy sical exertion that does it. but poor stom ach work. With poor, thin Diood the body Is not protected against tho attack of germs of grip, bronchitis and consump tion. Fortify tha body at once with Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery ? a rare combination of native medicinal roots without a particle of alcohol of dangerous habit-forming drugs, A little book of extracts, from promi nent medical authorities extolling every Ingredient contained in Dr. Pierces Golden Medical Discovery will be mailed Irtc to any address ou request by postal card or letter. Address Dr. It. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. Many years of active practice convinced Dr. Pierce of the value of many native roots as medicinal agents and he went to great expense, both fn time and In money, to perfect his own peculiar processes for rendering them both efficient aud safe for tonic, alterative and rebuilding agents. The enormous popularity of "Golden Medical Discovery" is due both to Its scientific compounding and to tho actual medicinal value of its ingredients. The publication of tho runncn u) the ingredi ent* on tho wrapper of every bottle sold, gives full assurunco of Its non-alcoholic character and removes all objection to the use of an unknown or secret remedy. It is not a patent medicine nor a secret one either. This fact puts it in a cUis? nil hu itself, bearing as It does upon every bottle wrapi>er The Badge of Ilonesty, in the full list of its Ingredients. The "Golden Medical Discovery ? cures, weak stomach. Indigestion, or dyspepsia, torpid liver and biliousness, ulceration of stomach and bowles aud all catarrhal af fections na matter what parts or organs may be affected with It. Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are the original little liver pills, first put up 40 years ago. They regulate and Invigorate, stomach, liver and bowels. Much imitated but never equaled. Sugar-coated and easy to fftka M candy. One to three a dose. Her Ambition. This Incident was told by nn afr tiess who was once playing Rosa lind, and playing It, as she fancied, rather acceptably. As she entered her dressing room at the theater one night a note from a woman was handed to her which read in this wise: "Dere lady I work for n dentist but I have spoiled so many of his teeth saying over your part In the play thai n&w 1 can say It Just as well as you tin. and 1 want you to let me try It tonight and see If I can't for the den tist says be cannot have me any mori and I must pay for his teeth, and so I must go on the stage and I will be here at 7 o'clock." The exchange was not made. Th* Trouti*. Jones?I understand there Is trouble between Mrs. Poet and her liusbanu Smith ? Yes. Ht couldn't sell hi poems, and she cwikln't eat them, so she left him. The man who gambles Is a deluded fool, but the nif.n who gambles whet he continues to lisu Is a colossal fool WE' WANT Your Trade For Ice Oream. Confer tionaries. Lunches server at all hours. MRS. J. R. GASKIN, North Point Pleasant Sip 11 .NOTICE TO TKKSPA53EICS. All persons are hereb notified not not to trespass on my farm in h;i\ manner, or they shall suffer tho full penalty ot the law. W. J. KEISTER. Sept. 11, tf pd A BUSINESS PROFOolIION aron? BUSINESS MEN who Mag for Mors ta?. Sell the "HAND-OVER" shoo for men and wo men, which is correct in every way as to style, leather and manufacture. Sell the "WATSOXTOWX" shoe, for lumber men, of which we have fifteen different kinds to retail from $3.00 to $7.00. The demand for these and our other well-known brands clearly demonstrate their popularity. Our large and complete stock enables us to make prompt shipment, and our location insures cheap freight rates and quick delivery. PAYNE SHOE CO., Charleston, W. Va ?05-90? Virginia St. Etehteen Years in Business. FIRST GLOVE WEARERS. Sauntlets of Ancient Hunters?Saints I Who Wore Gloves. Not only on account of the in trinsic beauty of many specimens that have been preserved, but also because of the symbolism connected with them, gloves will ever have a special interest for the student of the past. That they were worn at a very early period there is no doubt, though exactly when they first came into use it is impossible to say, for there are no actual references to them in early Greek or Roman MSS. The first mention of gloves is in the "Odyssey," in which it is stated that Laertes, the father of Ulysses, wore them on his hunting expeditions to protect his hands from the thorns, and in his "Cyropaedia" Xenophon reproaches the Persians for their ef feminacy in covering their hands. Both in the east and west the glove w! Vn once adopted soon be came of importance as the recog nized sv.libol of the transfer of property, the seller of land giving the purchaser a glove as a token of possession, for which reason it is generally supposed that in the much quoted passage in Ruth iv, verse 7, "To confirm all things a man pluck ed off his sh?e and gave it to his neighbor," the word shoe should have been translated glove. In Christian iconography a glove was very early associated with cer tain saints, notably with St. Front, who is said to have left his glove behind him after attending the- fu neral of St. Martha, the sister of, Lazarus, and with St. Cc6arius, bishop of Aries, who is credited with having sent his glove full of air to a district in his_ dioce9e suffer ing from a protracteil calm, A glove worn on the lefthand by a eaint is a token of noble birth, probably because the faloon was carried on the left wria^ and as early as the third centmy A. D. gloves were given by tluB 'emperor to bishops on their investiture. St. Ambrose of Milan, who djpd in 398, is represented in a paintfrig now in the satis try of the Cathedral of Aix-la-Chapelle wearing gloves on tin back of which a,star is embroid ered. Gloves are among the em blems of St. Amadeus of Savoy, whose sister is supposed to have giv en him a glove she had received from the Blessed Virgin, and the story goes that St. David ofWBweden when his sight was failing him from old age hung his gloves on a sun beam, taking it for o cord. As is well known, the throwing down of a glove was in feudal times a challenge to sin.'le coniat and the picking up of that glove an ac ceptance of the defiance, a fact skillfully turned to account by Browning in his beautiful poem "The Glove," in which he makes the heroine dash down her glove at the feet of the lion, only tn have it flung back in her faco bt her lover. Knights used to wear a lady's glove in their helmets as a token that they would defend her cause against all comers, and to this day a spccial s: nilicancc attaches to the gift of a pair of gloves from a man to a woman. The custom of taking off the right hand glove be fore shaking hands with a hidy is probably a survival of the Says of hivalry, as is also the presentation of a pair of white gloves Ho a judge when there are no cases to be tried at an assize as well as tc the. giving of black ;r'o\ es to mourners at a funeral.?i'rs. Arthur BelQjn Col lecting. Knotty Problem. She was a passenger 'on the search for information, ajjil as she was pretty lier quest woe not in vain. "Captain," .-he 6aid, 'tow fast can your steamer go?" "\V ell," replied the wan with the ornate cap, "last night we made about twenty knots an hour." "Twenty knots 1" she repeated blankly. "And what did ?ou do with them all ?" The captain's face was one of those pictures that tell a story, but he answered promptly: "Threw them overboard." "Oh, fancy that, now!" she said. "What a waste of time! I-thought you made the poor dear sailors un tie all those knots the next day!" Dutiful 8on. The MacTavish family were en joying their Sabbath dinner after their five mile , tramp home from the kirk, and they eagerly watched Mr. MacTavish carving the fowl, none so eagerly, however, as the dog, for that intelligent animal nev er took its eyes off the luscious bird. The dissection was proceeding apaco when suddenly the knife of the carver slipped and sent a frag ment of poultry rolling on the floor. "Michty me!" cried MacTavish. "The leg! Ma a'n favorite bit! The dogll get it!" "Nnw, faither," said the voung c t oli'shoot of the clan MacTavish; "he'll no get it. I've putten ma foot upon't!"?Dundee Advertiser. V/fcat R??trained Him. A stranger in a small town want mi the advice of a lawyer and as ha wr.q hunting for one one day he ccnie upon ft sign which read, "A. S > indie, Attorney at Law." lie entered the office and after rc:eiving the necessary advice said the lawyer was a fine man, b" he wanted to know why he ii "ie his name sound 60 ridiculous and why he did not put his first 11;: .0 in full. I would," replied the lawyer, 1c King, "if my first were nvi Adam."?Magazine of'Fun. A DRAMATIC EXPERIENCE. It Had to Do With the Reacue of Nordenekjold. Most dramatic in its experience of all the 1901 expeditions, hardly surpassed by any crossing either cir cle, was tbat of the Swedes under Nordenskjoid, says II. L. Bridgman 1 in the Outing Magazine. Landed > at Snow hill, on Seymour island, Nordenskjoid and his party bade goodby to Captain Larsen and the Antarctic, built them a house and settled down to scientific work for the summer and, as it turned out, for the winter. Larsen's instruc-.' tions were to refit at the Falkland islands to give the zoologists of the party a chance at Tierra del Fuego and to couie back to Snow hill in the summer of 1902. That summer and the next win ter passed, and Xordenskjold and 'lis companions saw nothing of Lar en or of the Antarctic. One" Bay hey saw coming over the ice and .?ocks two objects which every one it first asserted were emperor pen guins, but on coming nearer proved to be l)u>e and Anderson, who, landed the year before by Larsen and cut of! by open water from their iroposed journey overland to Snow ill, had spent nine months in a hut 'juilt of the stones which they could collect and subsisting on the Bcanty ?upplies left with them, but chiefly on the penguins and seals they had been able to kill. Men were never more warmly welcomed than these 1 two, wintering unknown within I twenty miles of comrades and head quarters. Finally, as hope was almost de parting and the summer drawing I tact to a close, one fine day Captain Irizar, commander of the cruiser I dispatched by Argentine, called at I Snow hill and bade Nordenskjoid! ?nd his reunited party make ready to leave for home. The welcome 1 summons was, of course, willingly obeyed, but "if Larsen were only here," said the released and re lieved Swedes. And the very next I day whom did they see tramping across the floe but Larsen nnd five sturdy sailors from l'aulet's island, where they had wintered after the Antarctic had been crushed and I sunk by the ice, following a gallant fight of weeks to keep her afloat and bring off the party from the rocks of Snow hill. The world rejoiced at Norden-1 skjold's rescuej?and the more when the scientific results of his long iso-1 lation were found to be of the high est importance. George Grossmith'a Autograph. A good tale is told of George I Grossmith and the signing of his name. The proprietor of a certain I hotel where "Gee-Gee" was staying during one of his recital tours I brought in a volume containing the autographs of distinguished visitors I and begged that Grossmith would I write a few words beyond the bare I record of his stay. The ex-Savoyard I turned over the leaves to see what friend had preceded him there and saw a signature which gave him an I idea. It was that of Mrs. Alice I Shaw, the well known "aiffleuse," and in the book was recorded this I reason for her whistling: "I whistle I because I must." The opening was too good to be neglected, and it was not many seconds before the book received this addition: "I sing I because I can't. ? George Gros-1 smith."?London Standard. Roughing It. On one occasion Archbishop Tem ple was welcomed and entertained I overnight by a clergyman during I the absence of that clergyman's I 1 wife. On leaving the host politely I | expressed the hope that when next I his lordship honored the house Mrs. I Temple would accompany him. "No, thanks," the archbishop la conically replied; "Mrs. Temple I doesn't like roughing it." The clergyman's feelings were I deeply hurt, for the visit had meant some expense and much anxiety to I him. He unburdened his soul to I his wife on her return. I "Why, my dear," she exclaimed, "you didn't surely put the bishop in the pink bedroom, did you?" He I did. "Oh, then that's it 1 I put all the plate in the bed!"?London Out A Tender Hearted Girl. Softer than swansdown was her I heart?more tendor than spring tints in the sky. She could not bear I to give pain to any living thing. As thev walked through the woods such was his love that he went first I and brushed away the spider webs with his face. "See!" he cried, pointing to a for est giant. "See!" And on it she saw a graven heart with their names cut inside it. "Oh, cruel, cruell" she wept "Our engagement is broken. I would not marry a monster who thus inflicts pain on"? "What!" he cried. "What have I ione that is so cruel ?" "You have cut a live oak tree!"? Pearson's Weekly. Knew How It Would Be. The simplicity of children is sometimes bard to fathom. In the following case, for instance, report ed by an exchange was the boj^s in-! nocence real or affected? He had brought home his monthly school report, which made a poor showing. "This is very unsatisfactory,'' said his father as he looked it over. "I am not at all pleased with it." "I knew you wouldn't be," an swered the little boy. "I told tb? teacher so, bat she said she couldn't change if | A LIFE OF HUSTLE IVy'nfl to B? Happy In a Hurry la ? Way Americana Have. Ihe strenuous life in America is not confined to a business or mon iy. making career. It appears in our pleasures. Americans do not seem to be able to enjoy themselves even without hurrying up. At our pleasure resorts we see men hurry ing and hustling, as though they were late for a train or right in the rush of business. We become so fitted, so accustomed to the Ameri can pace that we cannot slow down even when we quit work. We do not seem to know how to do any thing in a leisurely way. The same high pressure that we put into our business and professions is evident in pur play. We get so used to "'stepping lively," hurrying for an appointment or for trains, rushing ^"sii^eM, that we cannot go slow 6'ficl take things easy when we have leisure. Not long ago I was trying to con vince a,London merchant of the su periority of the American way of doing things and was telling him how much more progressive, enter prising and pushing we are. He pimply smiled and said: "What of it ? \\ e Englishmen do not envy you. We believe in living, in en joying ourselves us we go along. The lunch counter is not popular in Lon don. We believe in taking our time to eat and talk witli our friends and have a good time. What if Americans do make more money? The} drop down with sotno disease, arc stricken with apoplexy or die of paresis right in the prime of life. We do not call that success. That is foolishness. They lack that con tentment, that poise, which marks Europeans." The American youth hurries to the man, hurries Ids education, hur ries his meals, hurries his work, hurries everything relating to his career, hurries his life, and he can not understand why he cannot hur ry his happiness. lie arranges his pleasures by a set programme, just as he does his business, and he runs his vacation 011 a business plan. So cial life, exercise and recreation are all on a strenuous plan, with little opportunity for rest or reflection. 0. S. Marden in Success Magazine. Hi? Only Chanca. He was a late in life sportsman and had taken to golf because it was fashionable, don'f you know. But his success in the "sport was limited in fact, like the dividends of some limited companies, it did not exist. He had placed his ball in a favor able position; but, do what he might, he could not move it from there. He tried first one kind of club and then another till at last he had used them all. Then he turned to his caddie. "Boy," he said, "what should I do now'{" The caddie gave the problem his best professional consideration for a moment; then he said: "\our only chance, maister, is to gi e it a whack wi' the bag." That is why the player has drop ped golf.?London Express. Tho "IV and "Vt." By a rule of our accidence y is changed to i whenever es or ed is added to a word ending in y after a consonant, but no change is made when s or ed is added to a word ending in t after a vowel. Famil iar examples, besides money, are bay, key, toy, buy, alley, attor ney, chimney, donkey, journey, kid ney, pulley, valley. Nothing can be said against the change .of y to i, seeing that in earlier times there was scarcely any distinction between the two vowels, but there is some thing monstrous in the thought of changing the combinations ev into ie when we would add s, and'into i when we would add ed. "Monies" and "honied" are, in these days, oddities reconcilable, like "donkies 'monkies," etc., only with igno rance.?London Notes and Queries. In Shakeepeare's Tima. The big yellow moon climbed above the trees. "Be careful, Romeo," cautioned the fair Juliet. "If.papa hears vou, there will be trouble." "But what objection has he to me ?" said Romeo, somewhat piqued. Didn't you tell him I move in the best society?" "Yes, dear, but he insists that you are only a climber." And then and there Romeo decid ed to cut out the balcony scene and make love out on the lawn.?Chica go News. Feeding Tlma. A guide in A enice, discussing with an American tourist the sights w hich should be seen by a stranger, ?aid as if without fear of contradic tion: "Of course you will want to see the Lion of St. Mark, sir." "Ves, I s'pose so," replied the tourist, with mild enthusiasm. 'About what time do they feed him ?" Law Term Explained. ell, priwcod," said the lawyer. The plaintiff resorted .to an Ingen ious use or circumstantial evidence," said the witness. ?Tor the beueflt of the Jury state In plainer language exactly what you meau by that" interrupted the Judge. "Well, my meaning is thut be lied." If Women Couldn't Read. "Then you don't believe in higher education for women?" "Certainly not. I think It's a shame to even teach 'em bow to read. If a woman couldn't read the bargain aJ vertisenienta, she wouldn't be so an happy over the lota of things she can't fffwd to bUT." MAGICAL CURES. Mete of the Orient That Are Appealed to In Case of Sickness. Of magical methods used to core disease a writer in the Scientific American says: "Powerful aid is be lieved to be rendered by the various 5ods and goddesses in China, India, ava, Korea and other countries in exercising disease. The Hindoo goddess who had a superintending power over smallpox, lor example, was approached with solemn cere monies and presents to propitiate her. She was represented as stand ing with two uplifted fingers, threatening to strike on the right and left. Before her was a band of the executors of her vengeance, two of them with red grinning masks, black shields and naked scimitera. White lines, like ravs, issued from the bodies of the others to indicate infection. On the right was ai group of men with spotted bodies afflicted with the malady. Bells were hung at their cinctures, and a few of them waved black feathers. These were preceded by musicians with drums, who supplicated the pity of the fu rious deity. "From behind her advanced a bevy of smiling young women, gracefully carrying on tneir heads baskets with thanksgiving offerings, in gratitude for their lives and beau ty having been spared. A little boy with a bell at his girdle conveyed something emblematic of inocula tion from the arm of the goddess. By such means and humble inter cession the benign goddess grad ually stayed her fury, and the dis eased were thus made whole or were at least supposed to be cured, wliich appears to Iteve answered just as well. In Java 6ome idols ire provid ed with bells for calling the atten tion of the god and goddess to the need of their exercising sacred pow ers in behalf of the siclc and unfor tunate. "Akin to thiB blind faith is the credulity of some claescs of Japa nese, whose doctors know very little more of anatomy and physiology than the patients themselves, and for purposes of diagnosis they rely mainly on the pulse. Three pulses are found to be in each wri6t, they explain?viz, the heart, controlling the right upper pulse; the lungs, the left upper ihiIho; the stomach,1 the right middle pulse; the liver, the left middle pulse; tho right kid ney, the right lower pulse, and the left kidney, the left lower pulse. Thus by a careful examination of! the six pulses the doctor at once discovers what is the matter with the patient and proceeds in hia own way to effect a cure. "In Korea and among the North American Indians images are made out of various materials, each kind having a peculiar power over some special form of disease. Thus the Zuni Indian makes a clay image to represent a mountain lion, and the spirit of that animal, which is the guardian of the northwest and the master of the gods of the hunt, comes to dwell in that object, pro tecting the owner from injury by accident and helping him to success in the chase. A Korean sorcerer's image, stuffed and covered with buckskin, is used to avert calamity and death." Mir*. Mars possesses about one-half the earth's diameter and one-sev enth its volume. It is some 140, 000,000 miles from the sun and con sequently at a mean distance of nearly 50,000,000 miles from us. It receives lees than one-half the sun light and heat a square foot that we do, has an atmosphere less dense than ours and possesses water and ice. The planet exhibits two ice caps at its poles and orange and greenish tints between these poles. Those peculiar lines or markings, the "canals," concerning which there has arisen much discussion, form a sort of faint, inexplicable network over the surface of ruddy Mars. T ram way*. The word tram is derived from a man's name, On tram?Thomas Ou tram. Outram lived in Derbyshire, England, and in the beginning of the last century he invented a pe culiar sort of track that diminished the friction between wheels and roadbeds. These tracks of On tram's, though nothing like a trolley track, were called at first cm tramways, then tramway*, and when street lines and street cars came into ex istence they were dubbed respective ly tramways and trams. His Income. The teacher of a Sunday school class in Wilkesbarre once put the following question to a new scholar: "What did Moees do for a living while he was with Jethro ?" There was a long silence, during whiah the other members of the class took occasion to "size up" the newcomer. The latter, however, was undismayed. After due reflec tion he answered: "Please, ma'am, he married on* if Jethro's daughters." A distinguished lawyer of Indiana when a struggling young attorney had a client whose mental sound ness was questioned. There was a lunacy Inquiry, and the client was adjudged insane. The squire asked the lawyer: "Do you wish to appeal this case which has been decided by * jury of your client's peers J" "No," replied the young lawyer. "Since your honor Bays that the jurymen are his perrs. I think we I will let it go at that. ?New York ,8un. ROYALTY COULD MOVE ON. It Was When Buffalo Bill's 8how Reached ths Eternal City. Buffalo Bill's Wild West arrived under the walls of the Eternal City, and toward the great scout's whoop ing arena we bent our steps, writes Booth Tarkington in Everybody's. The dance was on when we arrived, but we found an usher who was shoving and haranguing a confused^ seat seeking crowd of Italians, ex horting thera in homelike Xebras kan words. "Everything's gone all to thunder today," he remarked to us crossly. "That there king and queen's here." (His manner of alluding to the royal personages suggested that he thought of them as cards in a deck.) "We never got a word they were comin' till half an hour before we opened. The boxes were all took, and we've had one blank of a time fixin* things up and gittin' that king and queen settled right. These cou pons call for the next box beyond em, and the dago ushers have gone and stuck some people in there, somebody that belongs to the king and queen, I reckon, and"? "Then we'll have to give up our box?" 6ome one asked nervously. "Nawl You got the tickets, ain't you? You git it! Come on 1" A lady and three gentlemen were seated in the box numbered upon our coupons. "You git out o' there," said our guide informally. "That ain't your box." There was an exclamation of hor ror from an upper tier, and one of the English speaking Italian ushers .?ante rushing down an aisle with a blanched face. He bent himself louble before the occupant* of the x>x, uttering 6tricken apologies in Italian, which were abruptly check ?<1 by our guide. "Here! I ain't got no more time to waste. These folks got coupons for the whole box. Tell them peo >!o to git out o' there, and "tell 'em to hurry." "Get them out?" repeated the Italian, immeasurably shocked. ? 'Impos-s-sible! You do not un-1 derstand! It is the Prince and Princess di"? Our guide bent upon hiln a look >f withering pity. "That cuts all! '.he ice in Hudson's bay, don't it?" i he replied, with venomous distinc-1 dvenes?, and then, exasperated to the extent of his self control, "You {it 'em out o' there!" We interfered at this point and iffected a compromise by squeezing more chairs into the box, to the pained surprise of our usher, who as he slouclu'.i ^_way manifested his opinion of us as "easy." Our Honeybtei. All the honeybees in this country having originally been imported from Europe or Asia, there is no racial difference between the wild ones and the domesticated. Those that live in trees are simply the de fendants of those that from time to time have taken "French leave" from their owners' hives and revert ed to a state of nature. The vast bulk of the wild bees are of the German or black race, while the standard domesticated bee is the Italian. But that, however, is only because the Germans were the first to be introduced here. Just when the Germans came is in doubt, but t was some time in the seventeenth :entur_v. Certainly it was not until near the close of the eighteenth jentury that any bees were found west of the Mississippi. The In dians used to say they could mark the advance of the white man by the apperanoe of bees in the woods. ?David Almon in Outing. Helping the Witneti. For more than an hour a witness for the defense had dodged ques tions. His faulty memory was par ticularly exasperating to the counsel for the plaintiff, who was seeking to recall to the witness' recollection an event of four or five years previous. Eventually the man remembered "something about it." "Ah," continued the lawyer for the plaintiff, "what did you think of it at the time?" "Heally," said the witness, speak ing before the lawyer for the de fense had time to interpose objec tion, "it was so long ago I can't re jall exactly what I thought of it." "Well," shouted the cross exam iner excitedly, "if you can't recall ?xsctly tell us what you think now vou thought then." ? New York Times. Not to Be Waited. Ben Cary had near his house a swamp, which was a breeding place for herds of man eating mosquitoes. Some enterprising neighbors, who learned of the crude oil treatment, went to Ben and tried to persuade him to exterminate the pests. "Exterminate 'em!" said Ben. "Not much, not much. Why, Mis' Cary an' I just paid $32 for screen ing the side piazzer that she's been pestering me about for years. How we goin' to get any good of it if we i kill off the skeeters?" ? Youth's Companion. Valiant Indeed. During an invasion panic which spread through England when some French colonels addressed their em peror, Napoleon III., in very fiery terms a certain Yorkshire colonel of volunteers distinguished himself by the following utterance at a lo cal banquet, "Gentlemen, on behalf of my comride? I can assure yon that if Napoleon's colonels shojld land at 8jrarn the First East York rifles will not be the last to flee," a declaration that remained a* a joke ! n tains t the regiment for many 'jean. MEANING OF MUSIC.' What It Can and What It Cannot 8cg> to You, Music is called the tmrrtrul lan guage, and jet when you arc strug gling to understand what a com poser is trying to say always remem ber that he is speaking a primitive language that frames vaguely a sen timent or a mood or a tangled fab ric of sentimenU and moods. "The best definition I ever heard of music," says Rupert Hughes in. the Delineator, "is that of Taine, 'Music is a cry,' and, to my thinUng at least, the beet music is that in which to the largest degree each, note represents an outcir. But then a cry may mean so much or so lit tle! "The spirit of brooding music may be found in the story of Robert Schumann and his cherished friend, I rau ^ oigt. One su nnier evening he took her out in a rowboat, ship ped the oars and sat for an hour in complete silence. When they land ed again Schumann pressed her hand in farewell and said: "'We have understood each oth er perfectly.' ' There is the message of contem plative music in a nutshell. Wo have understood without words, and with words we could not explain. "Music cannot even hint at a glo rious' contour or a ripple of music which sculpture can maie immortal, nor suggest the color of a land scape or a woman's eyes, which painting can give to posterity, nor spin out skeins of thoughts well chosen and deftly arranged as poetry and prose aro wont to do. It cannot with a gesture grip your heart or with a grimace make you laugh as drama can. It cannot nar rate a romance nor indulge in the whimsies of an essay, the patriotio lire of an oration, the fact mosaics of a history, the massive flights of architecture. "Music is eternally debarred from even attempting any of these fields. And yet one finds compensation in being allowed to noetic a little closer to the heart of things in themselves and emotions as emotions any other of the muses that make the world worth while." Qraataat Volcanio KrupHon. The greatest volcanic eruption of all history was the eruption of Ivrakatoa, in the strait of Bunds, between Java and Sumatra, in 1883. It caused a cloud seventeen milea high. It was heard 3,000 miles away. If it had taken place in Lon don, it could have been heard in New York, Constantinople, 8t Pe tersburg, Cairo, Egypt, and Green land. The velocity of the explosion was three times that of an Arm strong gun. It raised tidal waves 100 feet high that rolled up on the land for miles. It creatcd dust finer than any rock can be ground by man. This dust was carried around the earth for three years in the air. It caused air waves that encircled the earth several times. It broko windows^ more than 100 miU. dj,. tant.?New York American. A Curious 8tag* Custom. ?' It is not generally known that tho last three or four wordfl of a new dramatic production are never spoken during the period of the re hearsal of the piece. Most frequent ly they are never written by tho author. The superstition of the theatrical world is that it would be certain to bring ImnI luck to tho piece if the last words were pronounced on the stage before the first night. But as the plav must have an end, and it should be known to all present that it is at an end, the actor or actress intrusted with the lest lines usually interpolates a word or two. For in stance, the actor would say, "My dear girl, my dear boy, kneul before me, that I may forgive you and bless you with?a farthing cake." London Globe. Accommodating. "I shall refuse to pay for attend ance," said an irate tourist who had been staying at an old fashioned country hotel and had just been presented with his bill. "Why, the bells in the rooms are a perfect dis grace. Not one of'them would ring I Everytliing I wanted 1 had to fetch myself. I must have spent eome hours tugging at those bell pulls." "It's true we have charged for at tendance," said tho proprietor, "but we can change that and charge yon for a physical culture course."? London Graphic. Th* ramity Enjoyad It Too. When the minister, who was a bachelor; had been helped to Mrs. Porter's biscuits for the third time he looked across the table at Rhoda, taring at him with round, wonder ing eyes. "I don't often have such a good supper as this, my dear," he said in his most propitiatory tone, Rhoda's face dimpled. "We don't always," she in her clear little voice. "I*m awful ?flad you came."?Youth's Compan ion. . - What We RaaJly Naad. Each of us in our own small omn. Ism possesses a germ or whatever yon ?16 shorn " wh,cb. Properly develop eo, should eventually lead ua to th* relation or a,l our ambitus AO thnt Is wanted aro energy fnafM tration.?London Tindiep" Field. ? _ <>f Practice. W3K5SSKSK,; "?V I suppose he stutters as ffllyM "Oh, no! He's qnlto an adent at la ?ow."?HmadalpKa Presa?