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? the current of the year. X sing, to-day, the mystic stream That curves its way through arches twelve, With crystal waves that dance and gleam As in their path they leap or delve; And ceaseless creeps its onward way, In steady course unvexed and clear, To far eter*ity's wide bay? The circling current of the year. It winds at first through verdant plains, Where blue-birds shout their songs of glee, Where robins pipe their joyful strains, And laughs the fountain free. T* Af lmr^innr Atirnro lb IUU1SIVH3 uauiwo yi wauuiu^ ?*v?w?a That to its life-brimmed border cling; Its spray supports the limpid showers That gem the flushing laud of spring. Then drowsy slips its laggard pace Like streams that glide through tropic climes; Hot airs lie pulsing on its face: Its ripples beat but languid rhymes. Here not a flower has deftly leaned Its petals o'er the surface fair, For blossoms lie 'neath broad fronds screened From summer's throbbing waste of air. Fext lands of golden tinted days, Where reapers crowned with harvest throng The fields that He in purple haze, And fill the vales with blithest song; The mists that fall o'er painted trees, The ainber streamers of the corn, The fruitage sweet, the crisping breeze, Rich autumn's lovely leagues adorn. At last approach the darksome skies That icy blasts surge madly o'er; The landscape dons a somber guise, A-s if it had all joy foreswore. A downy sheet Alls every view, On bleak lone hills and level glade; Bedecked are plain and avenue In winter's snowy masquerade. Thus back to spring the strong waves sweep Once more to track the seasons' round; Here, waking from the year's dull sleep, The earth's dead forms to life shall bound. W'ierd stream, our lives with thee are borne, With thee through all thy long career. By thy long banks we joy or mourn, Thou circling current of the year. ?C. M. Harger. i PLUCKY MRS, GRIME. It ain't every man that ha9 a chance to gee the worst side o' hi3 wife's charac ter before marriage and the sweetness after. But I bein' a tin man, with as good an 1 outfit as travels a Isew England road, : bilers. pans, brooms, tea-kettles an1 all orts o'knick-knacks bein' included, get a pretty good back view of what learned folks cal! socicty. And it was along o' j follenng my trade iu this fashion that I first saw the present Mrs. Grim?. She was at the wash tub, a:r the suds j whs tlyin' for all they was wuth. She looked pretty, too, though you might not think it from the won* she was at, I but the rubbin' hed made her cheeks . Fosy, an' somethin' I'll tell of when I get to it hed made her eyes snap. j i It was one o' them big houses in a j i suburb she was doin' work at to help the ?onir folks back on the farm. The l?ack yard to this house was a :' ?ort o' place with a lot o" bushes an' tiees j: afore you got in sight o' the kitchen 11 door, an' when I'd got where I was pretty < near, an' afore I could get another sight o' the little woman at the tub, I heard i omebody say, with lots o' meanin' in j the tones: ''You do that again, and I'll do more I than talk?now mind!'' I stepped out in full view o' matters, 1 an' there a little mite of a rigged-up ; babyhood was spilling dirt into the washtub.. j 1 It was an aggravatiu' thing, an' I j know jest how that little woman felt, j' Tnere sne was a-worKin away lor aear life?for it was late, au' I could see theie was still a big pile of clothes unwashed ?au' that little wretch a-grinnin' an' throwin' its fists full o'dirt. I jest wondered what'd happen. As I kept comin' nearer the house the young ras al ran out for another handful, : lively as a cricket, anticipating no doubt, the fun o' more scold in". But he misled his calculations. He hadn't no more thau put his body close to the tub than the lktle woman he'd been a tormentin' just swooped down on him easy and swift like, an' without a mite o' fuss or -waste o' breath landed him plump in the suds?slippers, velvet, I dirt, an! all! While you could perhaps count five, she held him there a bleached ! out little sinner, too completely knocked out o' his reckoning to even cry. Then j: *hc set him, all drippin' like a drowned rat, on the floor an' held him fast by the ?hou!ders. "lou've done that times enough," he said with a grain o' temper that I found it easy to forgive, "an' no one has ?topped you. Now I've taken you in , hand an1 will see what'll come of it. (io tell your mother, an' tell her I'm ready i to give her an explanation. Now you go"' ! With a howl that would have done credit to a Feejee Islander, the soaked torment started, an' his self-constituted discipliner weut to rubbin' fast an' furi ous, as if she hed still sometliin' to work off. Ia spite o' the temper I should hev like \ to give hc-r a hearty handshake, but I jcnew enougn aDour suouro ioiks ana their relations t'> their third girls to knowsu h a proieedin' wouldn't be prudent?it wouldn't help the third girl a mite?so I jest traveled back the way I hed come without a word about biters or nything else. I felt putty sure the fewer pectator9 to the scene that would follow when the youngster's mother came down stairs the better. The folks in the kitchen had seen me, but I knew at least one of 'em would be more comfortabler if I left an' wouldn't lay up agin me any leavin' out of man- ! ners. But I made it in my way a few j days after that to call 'roun I there an' see if they had any rags or old paper they wanted to swap for tinware. The third girl wasn't there, only the second girl, ironin' subdued like at a table. She said they didn't trade with Seddlers: they bought all their tin tilings own to the store. Then I looked 'round j careloss. an' asked where the other girl was, but at that she looked scared, an1 j mid she didn't know, she'd been discharged and no one knew where she'd {tone. | I was mighty sorry at th.il-. for I'd admire 1 that plucky dousin* in spite o* the bit o' temper. Well, I said good by to Ihe second girl and traveled Ija k to in\ fart. ^ I For more'n two months I jangled round on my tin cart, makin' good bar-1 pains and swelliu' my bank account a few dollars each week. I always was of j a thrifty turn, aud it come easy to layby 1 aomethin' so I don't speak of it to take | credit, only as a fact. I thought lots j buoui inei wasniQ nay, ati wonuereu what the two women bed sed when the j young torment bed told his ina. I always smiled when I thought on it, because I wa? pretty sure the mistress ; didn't get the best on it in words, any- j bow. An' somehow, between you an' i k me, mistresses could have a deal o' plain speakin' done to 'em without havin' more'n their share. But one afternoon I drove into a farmyard an' came near runnin' smash iuto another tiu peddler establishment that hed got there ahead of me. With due respect for the feller's righrs, I was preparin' to turn 'round an' get out, when I heard a voice. "You're a swindler," it^was sayin", nn' you know it! The bottom to that kittle is just the poorest kind o' stuff, and the nose h;i3 come off au' been fastened on again. I don't want to trade with you, an' I won't, so you may as well go!' "It's my little wash-tul> beauty,'" says I to myself, wonderful glad, an' so it was. She followed the man, a mcech'n' chap, to the door, an' I could see she was almost as angry as she was the first mornin' I'd seen her. She wasn't so pretty this time, either, for she had a towel 'round her head, an' a faded out calico dress, an' boots thet was o .t at the toes: but somehow my Jieart gave a thump, an' I was down o:l'n my waggiu in no time. "Maybe I kin make a trade with you," I says, more jerky than I ever spoke before. "Well, maybe you can," she says, eveiti' me. I "knew she was trvin1 to place me. but couldn't. I wanted to help her, but couldn't find the words. I could only bring out my best kittles an' knock off half the regular price on the ground that I wanted to dispose on 'tm quick, so's to lay in a new an' improved i stock. I was longin' to know if this was her home, but couldn't th:nk o' no way to find out without askin* in so many i words, and that I hadn't the courage I to do. < She handird the things carefully, but < all of a sudden, when I thought she was !_i_* ii r us.?1 examiniu tiie uusi* ui my icoan<- I i tie, she spoke up quite quick and sharp; 11 "I know where I've seen you," she ' < said. "It was when I doused that i i Charley Cranby. Maybe you don't re- j i member, since you didn't lose your tern-11 per an' place?but losin' your place , I makes you remember." 1 Somehow them words made me light- < headed?she remembered me! i "I recollect," I said, fast as I ever could, for the fit thet hed seized my j 1 tongue, "an' I wanted to shake hands ] with you. He deserved all you gave? 1 the varmint." | l She smiled a little?but sighed, too. | \ "It lost me my place, of course," she , < weut on,takin' up a bread pun an' turnin' j i it over. "I ain't hed the heart to look I up another one yet; so here I am at s home?a scoldin' one peddler an' telliu' j i my affairs to another. You must have a J ] pretty poor opinion of me, an' no j ] |i wouuer. I , She ended with a little laugh, an' said j she guessed they'd take the bread pan t an' the smaller kittle. |1 "Do you calkerlate to stay around ] home all summer?" I asked, hating my- ] self because my face was getting red as t fire. . ... , She aDSVcred hack quite fierce: 11 "I shall stay till I learn to manage my j s temper better in trvin' times?which, j accordin' to present appearances, won't t be any too soon."' I ( I said some peddlers was enough to < try the patience of a saint, an' then grew A 'Kj- Kflrtoneo T TXTOQ O frOlH oVlfiM 1 LCUUCl U CVClj Uovu uou a. ??t?-j wttv v* j think I meant I was above all sich an' an < exception to 'em. But she didn't seem ( to take it that way. She laughed an' j 3aid there was peddlers an' peddlers. 11 Then we settled for the things, an', 1 there being no excuse for my stayin' j < longer, I went. ] 1 said to myself a good many times that day: "She's got a temperbut it ] didn't keep her out o' my head a mite nor i hinder me from getting round to that ? farmhouse attain in a week. ! t This time we didu't make no trade, t but we hed a few words of nonsense t over, an' we noticed the hearty way i things was growin'. It was near twilight, an' when J went away I had a feelin' as if I'd tucked a ' bite o' peacefulness down iD my heart to ' , make me glad an' thankful in the dust . an' flies o' the road. It needed it putty often that summer, j for it grew to be a dredful dry season an' the traveliu' was vile. I hied to go to | that farm house a good many times?it ? was no use tryin' to keep away, for the thought o' them bright eyes drew me ^ there as sure as honey draws bees. r J. fill r Snnof ( x maue k.vcuscj i? ui^s&u, uu x unsov forgot I was a Methodist in stood an' 1 regular stun din'. Then I drew myself up short. "It's no \;se. James Grimes 1" I said; "you've lost somethin' an' you won't find it unless you find it in them brown eyes down on the Gray farm." * So I put on my best suit o' clo's an' a light overcoat, for it was gettiu' near fall, an' the nights was chilly, an' I hired a team of the livery stable at the village where I was stoppin' an' started. But I hadn't goue more'n a rod or two when I turned Ijack. "No, you don't," I says, "go dressed , ud invour best an' behind a hired lioss! } You ain't goiu' to take no such advan- ^ tage o' the little girl. Like as net she'll be tired with her day's work, an'in her common every-day dress, and you ain't j goin' in upon her all fixed up, as if you r had no work to do nor nothiu', do sir, j not by a long shot!" So I took off the shiny store clo's an' ! put on the old ones I had on when I first see her. Tliev wer prettv se dv, 1 - - ? -X--J t j I r but I put era on, an wnen i u uurucu the old mare into the tin cart I felt a c a eight more square and confortable. ' I j wa? no better as fur as clo's went than , the dear little woman I wanted for my wife was. As to character, I thought of ' my i>;.pes and rough ways, and I felt 'way below her. But then 1 thought, too, 1 of her brown eyes, and drove on It was just suppor time when I got to the house, and they all asked me in to c take souiethin1 with 'em, only Elizabeth 1 Jane she didn't press me too much. I suppose that supper was as long as 11 common meals, but it scorned to fly by tn me. After we was through I talked crops to the old gentleman, but watched Elizabeth washin' the dishes. She was so easy and good to look at as she worked , I couldn't help it no how. Spite of my determination to keep my mind on her ' father, an' my e es. too, I looked an' i looke 1 an' couldn't get enough o' |s IUUMII . After that I don't jest remember what ! happened, but somehow we found our- ' selves outou the porch alone, lookin' at1 j the we-t that was all a mass o' gold an' purple. It was one o' them moments that 1 come to a nuin now an' then au' keep ! him sure there'3 a heaven?tender, an' j ' ? 4. 41 ' J deep an' Sllll. I C1011 s, mcau tuaay uiuic . weren't no noises, for there was?the \ tree toads a singin' an' the frogs a creakin' an' the leave* a rustlin' but they ] were still noises an" tender. 1 'Eli abeth," I says, fccliu" how hard ] it would go with me if she refused me. ] ' Elizabeth," I've ?ot lots o' faults, and ; < I hain't got no polish like the city chaps | to cover 'em, but I love you, dear, an' ] want you for my wife?do you suppose, you could care for me like that?" I; I was standin' very n: ar her, an' could J hear lier heart beat fast, but she answered !, with a -oft little laugh: I " "You ain't got a temper,'* she says, under her breath, "an' you ain't lost your place on account of it?an' I think you've made & mistake an' don't want me?at least, I don't see how you can, anyway." I didn't waste no words. I knew?my heart told me the peacefulness was to be mine?the brown eves had what I'd lost in em an* somethin' besides. I jest put my arms around her in the deep summer uight an' held her fast. "I love you, temper an' all,' I says, "wash tub an' everything. Don't you care for me. ;est a little?'* "Yes." she whispered bar.k, "in spite of my temper.'" An' that's my wife F.li/abcth Jane, that I call ".Mother'' now,because there's am tner i.nzaueui . anc in me iuiuuy. Wc live on the old farm, an' barrin' the mistakes that come into all housekeepin' arrangements an' have to be made straight by experience, we've been as happy as the day is loug. I still peddle tin, an' sometimes when I'm ridin' along in the evening I think o' bein' without the wife an' home I'm goin' to, an' by the weight of my heart I know how much they are to me. "Bless the wr. es, all on 'em, but more particularly bless my wife.''?Portland Trumscript. A Chinese Silversmith's Trick. One of the ablest of British Ministers to China, and a fine scholar of that language, in his bachelor days, made a contract wit'i a silversmith at Pekin, by \f TUrte + A film icVl YVJLilUU UlU IlllUiObgi TftbO IV XUluiou Mexican dollars which the silversmith was to melt and make into a pair of candelabra, reserving three per cent, of the silver for his labor. In due time the candelabra were delivered, and gave [jreat satisfaction. Having used them several years, and being about to return to his native land, the Minister der ided to sell them, and called in, as it happened, another silversmith, who, after examining them carefully, offered two dollars and a half for them. A conversation ensued, in which the Minister learned that while he hnd theoretically put three hundred Mexican Jollars into his candelabia, there was not in ounce <Jf sil. er in them. In a great rage, at the trick that had seen played upon him, the Minister sent for the original silversmith, when the following dialogue took place, it being inderstood that it is a mark of respect "or a subordinate to repeat words adIressed to him by a superior, before inswering them. The British Minister?"You infernal icoundrcl! Didn't I make a bargain with you three years ago to make me a i>air of solid silver candelabra, and didn't [ furnish you three hundred dollars for :heui!" Chinese Silversmith?"You infernal^, icoundrel! Didn't I make a bsfgaui~ with you three years ago Jo "make me a 5air of solid silver oanclclabra, and didn't f furbish you three hundred dollars for hem? Yes, Your Excellency." British Minister?"And aren't those four work, and there isn't an ounce of lilver in them?" Chine.-e Silversmith?"And aren't hose my work, and there isn't an ounce >f silver in them? Most true, Your Ex:ellencv." ^ ' ?/ *' -- 1 t .1 it.'.f uritisn Minister?" 1 ou uure-iaceti imui, < f before sunset you don't bring me every lollar I gave you, I'll send you to prison. Set out of my sight! " Chinese Silversmith?"You bare-faced hief, if before sunset I don't bring i'our Excellency every dollar Your Excellency gave me, you will send me to prison. Quite right, Your Kxcellency." The silversmith bowed and departed. 3e returned in half an hour with the nonev. which he handed to the minister, ind with many assurances of his disinguished consideration and best wishes ;hat the minister might have a pleasant , risit home, took his leave.? Youth's Companion. What Constitutes a Ration. An interesting order recently issued rom Array Headquarters, at YVa.?hingon, lays down this rule as to what a ioldicr's ration shall be: " By direction of the Secretary of Wur, >aragraph 3150 of the regulations is imended to read as follows: " 2150. A ration is the established laily allowance of food for one person. ?or the United States Army it is now jomposed as follows: Twelve ounces of jork or bacon or canned beef (fresh or :orned). or one pound and four ounces >f fresh beef, or twenty-two ounces of ialt beef : eighteen ounces of soft bread >r flour, or sixteen ounces of hard bread, >r one pound and four ounccs of corn , neal. To every one hundred rations, | ifteen pounds of beans or peas, or ten j )ounas 01 nc 1 or iiominv: ren pounas 01 i j:eeu colTee, or eight pounds of roasted I or- roasted and ground) coffee, or two j >onnds of tea; fifteen pounds of sugar; | .'our quarts of vinegar; one pound and light ounces of adamantine or star asidles: four pounds of soap; four uninds of salt; four ounces of pepper; md to troops in the field, when neces;ary, four pounds of yeast powder to the >ne hundred rations of four." "When questions arise hereafter as to he sufficiency and succulence of the ation, this will be the proper basis for he discussion. What Wood Pulp is Used For. "Are those things made of papier nacher" repeated a New York wholesale lealer, as the question was put by a re- j ji'i ivi iui uic iuurc ?/m ijtojsiio-i* ?i uv nuo i landling a pail formed in one piece. 'Why. no. Thnt is wood pulp. Papier | naehe would break, while you can turn ! his on its side and jump upon it, if you | .lioose, and it will not give?" "How is it mader" "The makers lake the wood, prin- I :ipally elm, grind it into powder, then nake it into a pulp. When tit for the jurpose, steel dies are used to shape the irticle, which is next submitted to a ; ?rcatheat and to a process by which it is lardened. It is then lacquered and , inished off by adding handles and so i Tf io afrnnnrnr frlifin flnv wnndpn I vare. They will not break. Washtubs, liters, umbrella stands, bathtubs, wash)OwU, and, in faci, almost everything cquired in a household, are made of the agie material." A Successful Merchant's Acrostic. \? stands for Action, which makes business move. 0?for the Dash, which ne'er gets in a j irroovo! | lr .-tanris for Vim, which e'er leads to success, K? for the Energy hustlers posses; El?stands for Reason, to which good sense yields, r?stands for type, which the world's scepter ! wields; [?stands for Industry, handmaid of thrift, 3?for the Sales which don't come a3 a Rift; I?stands for Indolence, man greatest curse, V?for Nothing in Lazybones' purse; S?stands for Gold, which you all want to ' get; P?stands for Patience, which bids you not fret, for Advice that you keep out of debt: V?stands for Yon, sir, whom thus I ad-; vise, 9?for Success, if you but advertise. ?Columbus Dispatch. | r*. i23. ~ BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. Understood Feminine Nature ? A Poor Blind Man?A Valuable Animal for Sale?A Degenerate Son?Etc., Etc. Photographer (to sitter)?"I saw you at ('hureli last Sunday, Miss Smith." Sitter?"Oh, did you?" "Yes, and your friend Miss Brown ? if you could raise your chin a trifle. thanks?and what an atrocious looking hat sie had on. (After a pause.) There, Miss Smith, it is over, and I think wc have caught a very pleasant expression. ?New York Sun. A Poor Blind Man. Col. Hamilton Milton is celebrated at Austin, Texas, as being able to eat more withnnt. n. rpst. than nnv nfchpr two men in the city. Of late his eyesight has be come affected. Giihooly asked him the other day if he experienced any serious inconvenience. "I should say I did. I can't read the bill of fare like I used to. Yesterday I overlooked two kinds of soup and slipped up on the custard pie. I can ne.er tell now when I am through with diuner."?Si/lings. A Valuable Animal for Sale. "Grigsby, let me sell you a dog." "What sort of a beast is he?" "A watch dog." "Good one, is he?" "I should say so." "Strange?" "Yes." "Why do you want to sell him?" "I can't get in the house when he's around."?Nebraska ?tate Journal. A Degenerate Son. Old Croesus?"Tom. I'm disgusted with you. How could you be such an ass as to get caught in a defalcation?" m i-M? T i.1 ....Li. i lom?"I'm very sorry, sir. i uiuugui I would be able to adjust matters before the crash came." Old Cnrsus?'-Bah! How do you suppose I would be able to give bail for you to-day. if I hadn't been more discreet in my time, about matters of this sort? But there, my boy; live and learn, live and , learn!"?Tid-Bits. E-. plained. Wife?"What is meant, John, by the , phrase 'carrying coals to Newcastle?''' , Husband?"It is a metaphor, my dear, showing the doing of something that is , unnecessary."- " , Wife?"I don't exactly understand. , Give me an illustration, a familiar one." < Husband?"Well, if I was to bring , you home a book entitled: 'How to , Talk,' that would be carrying coals to , Newcastle."?Bjston Courier. * vat m. > v}>t/awi. "Leap year is a great snap, isn't it?" re- j marked Snobkins. "Just why?" queried Smith. "A girl proposed to me last night." , "Xo, you don't say?" "Yes, and I accepted.'' "Worse and more of it. How did it happen "Simplest thing in the world. She proposed to me to leave the house or she , would call her father, and I left. That was all."?Washington Critic. Plowing in California. Southern California Agent?"There, sir, look over into that field. Did you ever see a man plow so easily as that?" Eastern Farmer?"By gum! The plow does seem to go easy, dou't it? The man seems to enjoy it." "Yes, sir; keeps jumping and dancing along like a boy; just see his heels fly " "Looks a go a a >ai use a jig, i muse say." Little Boy (native)?"Pop ain't dancin'; he's tryin' ter keep outeu the way o' the tarantulas an' rattlesnakes wot he turns up."? Omaha 11 'orld. Confession Good for tlie Soul. He (holding a skein of worsted while she winds)?"Do you notice how my hand trembles, Miss Julia:" She (shyly)?"Yes, Mr. Sampson." lie?"And cannot you divine the cause:" She (shyness increasing")?"N-no, Mr. Sampson." He?"Miss Julia, I have a confession to make. Will you hear it?"' She (shyness becomes painful as she anticipates a proposal)?"If you like* Mr. Sampson." LT*. times stuf wiMi onmrt nf tlif* IiAttq ? last night, and it was 2 o'clock when I reached home.''- Si/ting*. How to Frighten Drummers. Friend?"Don't you nave a great many 1 drummers coining in and boring you j ( with their samples and their talk f*' |, Merchant?"A good many drummers ( come in here, but they don't bore me." !. "Dou't they ask you to look at their ] samples?" , "No." "Don't they ask you to give them ] orders!'' _ jl "2s*o: they go right out without say- < ingaword." !, ~-IIow do you manage to get rid of i, them?" L "It's the simp'est thing in the world. j j I put a plug hat and an open gripsack on j} the counter every morning. When a f drummer s-ees thess signs of another 11 drummer being on the premises he goes ! , off. Every ten minutes in the day a i y drummer comes to the door, looks at the t gripsack, and goes away, and I am left ( in peace."?Iitftivg*. t He Figured It. "Got a pencil'" asked a farmer on the j market yesterday of a citizen. "Now. then, let's figure a bit?" "What on?" "Well, I come in mo-it everyday with something, and generally start for home ] about dusk. One boy in particular up J c Grand Hivcr avenue hu3 bothered me aj . 1-_1 1 ?? 1 Tka Al l,nr I : great ueai uy uiw uiuf; uu. umu x ni"ht I thought I'd give him a lesson. J "When he got on I gnbbed his cap."- I ' And the boy?" t "He sut down ou some bags of oats I j hadn't sold and was taking back home, I and didn't seem to rare nui h about it. i I lie rode about a mile and tiien got off without his cap.'' i 2 "tut what about the figures?-' IJ ' I'm coming to them, ile threw out j \ six empty bags worth 35 cents each. He i slashed into three bags full of oats with ( his knife and let 'ein run out. lie threw t away a new tea kettle which cost me 80 ; cents, and he dropped overboard a horse \ blanket for which I paid $1. Aild up s these suras, subtract a two-shilling I s cap and see how much I came out ahead.'' \ ?Detroit Free Press,. -y Soap vs. Law. < A Missouri constable r?*le out to a 1 farm near St. Joe armed wifha subpu?na i for a woman who was wanted as a wit- ( a'ess in a case in court. He found her in ( X-? j. -"Ja V V .. ' < .J - v !i-r back-yard,busily engaged in stirring a boiling/bubbling raasa, in a large ulack kettle. He stated his business, and i-he said: "I can't go to-day." "But you must." "What's the hurry?" "Why, court's in session, and the case ! is now on trial. They want you by noon." "Well, I ain't going. -You think I'm going off and leave this hull kittle o' -aft soap to spile, just to please your old court? No, sirree!" "Why, my dear madam, you must. You really don't seem to understand " "I understand that I've got a big kittle o' splendid soap grease on to bile, and it'll make thin, sticky aoap, if it lin'f: finished Vnii orrt Kiolf and tell the jedge so." "You'll be fined for " "Pooh! I'd like to see the Missoury jury that'd fine a woman for not Iciiven' her soap-bilin' when it was at a critical j p'int, as one might say. Tell the Jedge j I'll come to-morrow, if we don't butcher j our pceg* then: an' if we do, I'll come j some day next week." "But I tell you that won't do. You . must come now." "Lookee, young man, you think I'm a . fool? I reckon you never made any 1 soap, did you? If you had you'd know that " "What doe3 the jedge care about your j soap?' "Well, what do I care'bout the jedge, i if it comes to that? Law's law and soap's j soap. Let the jedge 'tend to his law, ! an' I'll tend to my soap. The good book says there's a time for everything, an' I this is mv time for a bar'l o' saft soap." j ikWnli murlnni if vnn tirnnf fA hd ! YT Cllj iUUUC* . Hj XI JVU H H ** V WW w I fined for contempt of court, all right. I you will be fined sure as " "Bah! I know all 'bout the law, an' there ain't anything in it, nor in the Constitution of the United States, nor j in the Declaration of Injeependence, nor j in nothin' else, that say3 a woman's got ; to leave a kittle o' half-cooked soap, and j go off to court, when she ain't a mind j to. I guess I know a little law mvBelf."?Tid-Bi't. Acting in Japan. The Jaonnese school of acting might j be called a natural one, the whole j progress of the play being carried on in | the quiet, even tones of every day. | There is little bombast or rant except in the classical interludes, when srerything j is as stilted and conventional as possible. Pot-Vine io alwowa rloAn Anil Inner rir.iwn. I I uvuw *?5 W...WJW ?.vvr,M?w --O 1 I and the last tear is wrung from the eyes , of the audience, that responds with hand- j kerchiefs ta tl\e slightest appeal to the ; smotional side. 1 Tragedy is very tragic, j ind murders more-gory than we would i ijuite enjoy. Deatk, ou the Japanese i stage always results from sword cuts, j nud the antics of the fencers, the won ierful endurance of the hacked victims j ind the streams of red paint" that pour ; from all over them before they die are I rather too much. The audience, en joys 1 this, however, aud they shout, shriek ' and whoop with delight when a good gory combat goes on. To express greater , approval they throw pieces of their j clothing or any of their value! belong- \ ings on the stage, just as excited young : ladies at the opera hurl their bouquets at Patti, amd Queens draw o!f diamond 1 rings and bracelets to hand to Nilsson. A foreigner who saw thernin of coats, v< sashes, etc., falling on the stage after a ! thrilling scene, tos-ed his hat over, too. 1 It was an old one that he did not care 1 for. He had a soft cap in his pocket, and ho thnnaht it rather a nice thinff to be able to follow the fashion of ?the i country. At the end of the play the manager brought his hat to him and asked for the $10. The enthusiast then ; found that all the things tossed to the i star were merely pledges to be after- , ward redeemed by money, the actors hav- i iug a regular^ohedule, so much for a coat, a kimotnLi sash and a pipe, and ! correspondin.j^Sims for foreigners' hats ! and loose articles. The enthusiast sadly j paid his $10 and took back his abused hat, as the manager only bowed and continued (o hold out in spite of his gener- . ous protests in wishing the star to keep 1 it qq q anvil! QnnvAnir Crawling Through Fire For Life. { Hiram Coller, engineer at the Glendale (Pennsylvania), iron works, had a frightful e .perience and narrow escape from a shocking death a few days ago. He had crawled iuto one of the boilere in his charge for the purpose of cleaning it, taking with him a cau of crude petroleum. He placed this can in the boiler, near the open end, and crept to the other end of the boiler While he was examining the interior the oil in the , can exploded by some mysterious cause . ai:d it caught fire. The end of the boiler ; was at oncc filled with the flame of the ' burning oil. Engineer ( oiler crouched down in his end of the boiler, with his back to the flames, supposing that he nnnli-l Vinl/1 rmf nunii ef tTio nr>nt. nnd , smoke of the fire until the oil was all lon^umcd. The heat became so intense md the smoke so dense and suffocating, i however, that C'ollersaw he must either jscape from the boiler at once or meet j with a terrible death. The only way for :iim to escape was to crawl through the lame and smoke I etweeu him and the jpening in the boiler. His progress wa91 lece^sarilv slow, and his torture, as he ; passed through the three or more feet of I olid fire, was frightful. He held his breath 1 :oprevent inhaliug the flame, and closed lis eyes to protect them from the tire, ind reached the open air. He was able :o get but a few feet from the boiler vheu he fell unconscious. His clothing i vas in flames, but they were quickly ex-1 inguished by workmen who were near, "oiler's hair and whisker; were burned ! 1 J- 3 1 o the roots, ana nis iace nanus auu ucck. ind other parts of his body were terrri>ly blistered. He received no fatal inury.?Jlocheatir Union. i ? State Nicknames. The BrooKlyn EagU publishes the folowing list of nicknames applied to the j iti/.ens of the various.States: Maine, foxes; New Hampshire, grants boys; Vermont, Green Mountain boys: ilassachusetts, Bay State boys: Ifliode slaud, gun flints; Connecticut, wooden lutmegs; New York, Knickerbockers;^ "*cw .Jersey, blues or clam catchers;! 'eunsy I vania, Penamites or leather heads; )cla\v*are. blue hen's chickens; Maryimd, clam humpcrs; Virginia, beagles;; "forth Carolina, tuckoes; South Caroina, weasels: Georgia, buzzards: Ala-' >ama, lizards; Mississippi, tadpoles; j Florida, Hv up the creeks; Louisiana, j Creoles; Texas, beef heads; Arkansas, j oothpicks; Missouri, pukes; Tennecsee, j vhelDs: Kentucky, corncrackers; Ohio, mckcves; Indiana, hoosiers; Illinois, ! uckers; Michigan, wolverines; Wiscon-j in, badgers; Minnesota, gophers; Iowa, lawkeyes; California, gold hunters; Ne-: rada, sage hens; Oregon, hard cases;! Nebraska, bug eaters; Kansas, jay hawk-! ;rs: Colorado, rovers; Dakota, squatters:1 L'tah, polygamists; New Mexico, Span-! sh Indians; Idaho, fortune seekers 01; juttliroats. The natives of Nova Scotia' ire called blue noses; of Canada, canuc k? J ? ? JL . . .. %'& ? " ? Y: ' POPULAR SCIENCE. Street cars lighted and run by electricity (the Julien-Brush motor), are in successful operation in St. Louis. The Medical Record says that expired air is optically pure and contains no microbes. Respiration, therefore, purifies air as tur as microbes are concerned. Seven varieties of fishes examined by naturalists of the Challenger expedition are found totally blind in the deep sea, but have eye3 when i habiting shallow water. A chair which may be conveniently moved from place to place, and wherein the occupant may be protected from sun and wind, or may throw the chair open nt tnn ;ind <iirlps at. will has been nat entea. According to Muahall's dictionary of statistics the average age of all the people living in France is 32 years 2 months and 12 days. In the United States the average is only 21- years 10 months and 24 days. Ashe3 from the volcano of Cotopaxi, which fell at a distance of 120 miles from the mountain, were found by analysis to consist of quartz, feldsj ar, maquetite and specular iron ore. Silver was present at the rate of 200 grains per ton. Sir Douglas Galton, in a recent lecture in London, discussed the troub'esome fogs of that fowgy city, and suggested that; nrnhahlv hv distribntins? the elec f "*J "J ? a I tncal condition of the air by kites or balloons, rain my be cau-ed, and the fog by this means dispersed. Sometimes the pressure of an artesian flow of water results from a ga9 pressure instead of from a high head of water. Dakota, for instance, has several artesian wells 1,000 feet deep, with 250 to 280 pounds pressure, but theie are no high places near by to give this head of water. In the phonograph of Mr. R. M. Hunter the aid of electricity is secured. Mr. Hunter takes a trace on a sheet of specially prepared carbon paper, ana tne instrument repeats the words through a telephone receiver by means which will readily suggest themselves to the electrician. An English chemist has shown that the brittleness of the bones of the aged is not due, as is generally supposed, to an increase of the proportion of mineral salts with advancing years. From a section of the femur of fifty subjects of different ages, uo difference in the proportion of ash could be determined. The gun that was cast at Pittsburg a few weeks ago has been hollowed out, and the indications are that the casting has been a success. The steel of which the gun is made is without a flaw. The outside of the gun is to be '"turned off," and then it will be annealed. Afterward it will be taken to Washington for j i. nnuijr UUU ICSllUj;. It has been observed that snow is destructive of marble statuary; and thi3 may be due, in part at least, to the recently discovered fact that snow absorbs sulphurous acid from the atmosphere. This sulphurous acid, according to Herr Sendtner, becomes ozonized into sulphuric acid. In the neighborhood of gas works the results are likely to be more marked. Professor Vaughn reports to the Michigan State Board of Health that he gave typhoid fever to a cat by inoculating her with germs obtained from the water used by 300 victims of the scourge at Iron Mountain, Mich. Outside of its novelty, th-> experiment is of little benefit to medical science, unless it be farther demonstrated that a scratch by this cat will inoculate a human being against the disease. ty. J. Beale and C. E. St. John presented, in the American Association, a study of the hairs in Silphiura perfoliatum and Depsoous lacinotus in relation to insects. The upper surface of the leaf in 'these plants," near the apex, is thickly set with small hairs, all of which point toward the tip. Similar hairs were found all along the mid veins, side veins, and veinlets of the upper surfaces of the leaf. The cavitie3 formed by the perfoliate leaves are very small and hold but little water. They are very full after anv rain or heavy dew. These cups do not seem to serve any purpose as insect catcheis, as only a few insects were caught during two weeks in which the plants were watched, and they could afford but little nutrition. It seems more probable to the authors that the object of the c:ips with their water is to protect the plants from crawling insects, and this is done most effectually. Tlie Height of Waves. It is a very common phrase to speak of I the waves during a storm as running mountains high; but this really means nothing. Accurate measurements made by Scoresby proved that during storms, waves in the Atlantic rarely exceed 43 feet from hollow to crest, the distance between the crests being 3150 feet and their speed 32$ miles an hour. More recent observe ions in the Atlantic give from 41 feet to 4^ feet as the highest ? I ^ O fa illCUSUI I'U >Yil\U>, w-ik OUV.U uv,i^ut.o Ui w rarely reached, and, indeed, waves exceeding :J0 feet arc very seldom encountered. The monsoon waves at Kurrachee breakwater works were found to dash over the wall to the depth of IS feet or about 40 feet above mean sea level. The greatest heights of waves on the British coast were those observed in Wick Bay ? so famous for the exceptionally heavy seas which roll into it?being 37J to 40 feet. Green seas to the depth of 25 feet poured over the parapet of the breikwater at intervals of from seven to ten minutes, each wave, it was estimated, being a mass of 40,000 tons of water and this continuously for three days and | niyni-1. L/Urmg SCVC1C oiviins IUC *rarco used to rise high above the top of Smeaton's Eddystone tower, while at the Bell Kock the seas with easterly storms envelop the tower from base to balcony ?a height of 400 feet. A Numismatic Curio. <;Hangit!" ejaculated a gentleman who had dropped a 'iO-ccut piece on his foot while showing it to a New York Sua reporter the other d.iv. "That's enough to make a saint swear!" And he sat down upon a chair and proceeded to J nurse the unfortunate pedal. , The gentleman was a wcu Known cum i, collector, and the 20-( cut piece was an I' old and rare specimen of the hard cash ] used in Sweden years ago. It was a piece of cast iron about six inches square and a half an inch thick, and bore a number of strange figures and hieroglyphics , about as easily transferable to paper as the diagram of a Western blizzard. ''This piece," said the numismatist," is, or rather was when in use, equal to about twenty cents of our money, and if you wanted to borrow five dollars from a 1 Swede you would have been obliged to send your horse and wagon, or at" least a ' wheelbarrow, after twenty-five of them. A man in Sweden, when such hard cash was in vogue, would never be obliged to ^ fumble in his vest pocket with a heavj ^ pair of cloves, in cold weather, for suf- . ficient cnan?re. if 1 A TERRAPIN FARM. RAISING A TOOTHSOME REPTILE FOR THE MARKET. i Terrapin Found in Greatest Number Along Chesapeake Bay?Habits and Methods of Catching Them ?Good ard Bad Terrapin. It would scarcely be accurate to say that the terrapin has leaped into international popularity, but no one who knows the history of the much praised reptile can deny that it has crawled there with a great deal of success. Forty years ago, two or three thousand dollars would have been a verv liberal estimite of the sales made from the Chesapeake Bay. To-day the value of the annual ratch from this body of water and its tributaries will exceed a million and a half of dollars. The Chesapeake, the largest and moit interesting of the indentations on the Atlantic coust, furnishes three great delicacie? to the world?terrapin, canvas-back duck and oysters. All oi these are shipped to points in every section of this country and to Europe. A canvas-back duck never acquires the perfection of flavor which epicures so fervently admire until it has several weeks of feeding in the Chesapeake. The same is true of terrapin. Both facts come from the same cau;e, and that is the abundance of water-celery or water-cress, which grows in submerged fields on the muddy flats, shallow bays, and estuaries on the Chesapeake. Wherever this celery grows, terrapin are found. They have been m the bay from time immemorial, but it has been only within the past half-cen* turv that they have been appreciated. Old Maryland records show that the slaves on one or two estates used to rebel because they were given terrapin instead of pork. Gradually, however, the dish has secured the recogn'tion that it deserves, and to-day it is known and appreciated in both hemispheres. Presi dent Cleveland gets terrapin from RaJti-_ more, and so do all the rich entertainers of this country and Europe. Many New Yorkers get prepared terrapin bv the barrel from the chef of the leading clubin Baltimore. The demand for this delicacy has em* boldened several gentlemen to start terrapin farms. As a money-making entcrEnse a farm of this sort is not a sucopB, ut in the matter of accommodatioJund if io o ranr trolnaKlo ftf iUlbi WCW 1U AO I* f VI J TUIUUV1V ?V*>?w v. any estate. Perhaps the most su&jSdfu! one in Maryland consists of a salt-watei lake large enough to contain a thousand or more terrapin. Boxes partly filled with sand, ana arranged so that when the females enter they cannot get out until taken out are the hatcheries. Young terrapin are kept in the nursery ten months or a year. One of the ter- . rapin's greatest traits is hi3 curiosity, and this enab.les the owner of the farm , . to train them so that they will readily respond to his call. The food generally consists of crabs ground to a powder ana kneaded into pellets. The terrapin seaaon extends from about the middle of November until the 1st of April, About five hundred men catch over six thousand terrapin each year. Very frequently, during the summer, people along the bay catch terrapin and pen them up until the legal season opens, but these terrapin are of a very inferior quality, bccause, to be really good, a terrapin must always be "fiesh caught." The ways of capturing this reptile are many. The favorite is the old method -A'ikft* WACAmlJiM Von. OI U pruugcu Slll'n. bliiu itoguiwiw v|# tune's triaent. The expert, who is generally a colored man, prods this stick in the mud until he feels something move, and then he reaches down ana hauls forth a diamond-back. Sometimes around marshes several terrapin are taken from one bed. Iron dredges and^__ loa ed seines are used with success. Of course terrapin are in a lethargic condition in cold weather nfonths. They oat enough in spring^sumj^Apnd fall to enjoy a winter Baltimore dealer securely naflSB^ two tenapin at the beginning of winter, and dia not open the box until the followiug spring. They had had in thi.t time no fppd or drink. "When the box was opened, one weighed exactly the same as at first, and the other had gained two ounces. A gentleman on the eastern shore of Maryland buried twenty-six terrapin about eighteen inches deep, ou the 1st of June. In December he resurrected them, and found them alive, fatter, and in better condition to eat than when they were placed underground. Many rich people in Maryland put a large number of tenapin in their cellars at the beginning of winter, and use them as the exigencies of the table require. The "Maryland tcrrap'n''that one gets _ in the average restaurant is an imitation and a sham. Even in Baltimore restaurants the humbug is practised. Those "** 1 J- y?- i.'AiU aisnes are maue irom nwe uv wuun or '-bull" terrapin, under-sized specimens that lack the flavor of the real article. To be good, a terrapin should measure at lea>t six inches across the back. A seven-inch terrapin is called a <;couut,"' and all others are sold according to size. Experience of a very fine order is required to cleanse a terrapin successfully. It should always be killed by plunging it head-foremost into a pot of boiling water. The more simply the dish is cooked the better, for the terrapin unadorned is adorned the most. The female is preferable to the male because of the eggs. A favorite Christmas present from a Maryland man to a Kornern friend e\ery December is a lot of a halfdozen or a dozen of these reptiles.?Hirw/i Wee/.liy. < - - >/ Durability of Roman Buildings. A proof of the remarkaole durabilityof Roman buildings was found in the resistance offered by the foundations of the pillars on which the bridge rested which led from the Roman settlement of Maguntia (modern Mainz) over the river to the right or eastern bank of the Khine. Theie were fourteen stumps of pillars under the water, resting upon piles sur- . rounded by beds of stone to prevent undermining by the current. The woodwork has been destroyed to the depth of not more thau an inch and a half, and having been taken out and dried it was found unusually hard and well adapted to tine furniture. The expense of removing those pillars is $15,000, or nearly j>l,l00 each, on account of the great Trent amout of time and labor that had .o be spent ou them. ? Commercial Adrertis r. To Next Year. 3 longed-for of my weary soul, Next Year! 0 year when bachelors secure may rest! tVould I could sleep, aud wake to find you here; Then peace would live again within my breast I [n his own hands again, in 'Eighty nine. Will each man hold his matrimonial fate, ind girls whQ fain would wed must then rw sign ?, The privilege they held in 'Eighty-eight.. r %