Newspaper Page Text
A certain schoolmaster occasionally
compares the achievements of hi? pu
pils with the work of noted men is
their boyhood days, much to the
"Now, Joho, have you solved the
problem," asked the teacher the other
"No, sir," replied the boy, "I
"How old are yon, John?"
"Sixteen," was the answer.
"Sixteen!" repeated the instructor.
"Sixteen, and can't solve a simple
problem like that! Why, sir, at your
age George Washington was surveying
the estate of Lord Fairfax."
The pupil looked thoughtful, but
made no reply.
After the class was dismissed a class
mate inquired of him if Washington
ever did anything else remarkable
when he was sixteen.
"I don't know," responded the boy.
"Ho was a surveyor when he was as old
as I am, and when he was as old as our
teacher he was president of the United
States. "-PhUadelphia Call.
I'm All Unstrung,
Is the remark of manya nervous Individual.
Ito or hhe will soon cease to talk that way
after beidnnin;: and per?isting in a course- of
Hostettcr's Stomach Bitter*. Nothing like it
to renew strength and appetite and good
dr.:es ion. It checks the inroads of malaria
and remedio* liver complain', constipation,
dyspepsia, rhe-iniatism and kidney disorder.
It ii ia every seuss a great household remedy.
A whale when -truck by a harpoon cannot
swim faster than nine miles an hour
To Cleanse the S v stem
Effectually yet gently, when costive or bilious
or when the blood is impure orsluggish, to per.
manentiy cure habitual constipation, to awak
en the kidneys and liver to a healthy activity,
without Irritating; or weakening them, to dis*
pel headaches, colds or fevers, uso Syrup of
Thc Esquimaux make water-proof clothing
of thc intestines of tho walrus.
Dr. Ki HIT'S SWAMP-ROOT cures
a'L Kidney and Bladder troubles.
Pamphlet and Consultation free.
Laboratory Binghamton, N. Y.
In United Stat*? gold coins, 00 parts aro
gold, y copper, and 1 silver.
I have hen greatly annoyed with a severe
attack of Eczsma f?r n year, after usine seve
ral remedi s with no benefit, I used Tetterine
with perfect success. Two boxes made a
complet" cure. I would not take one thousand
rol!a? fer the benefit I've derived from its
u-e. I tak^ pleasure in rr-commending it to
others. Salomon Cohen, President Savannah
Carriage Co. Sent by mail for 50c. ia 6tamps.
J. T. Suuptrine, Savannah, Ga.
Tobacco User's Sore Throat.
H's so common that every tobacco user
lin.- an irritated threat thot gradually devel
ops into a serious condition, frequently con
Mi:nptioD. and it's the kind of a soro throat
that never gels well as long as you uso to
bacco. The tobacco habit, core throat and
lvst manhood cured by No-To-Bac. Sold and
guaranteed to cu rc by Druggists everywhere.
I took, lilied '"Don't Tobacco Spit or" Smoke
Your Lifo Away," free. Ad. Sterling Iiem
cJy Co., Row York City or Chicago.
After tb* heartiest dinn*r adoseof TVNEH'6
DYSPEPSIA RUM EDY will remove all unpleas
ant feelings, aid ?Mi?estlon. and build up your
hea?h. A< an after dinner drink it is far su
perior to all othrr remedies, as it never disap
points, nnd h aves an appetite for the next
me il. For sale bv Druggists. Manufactured
by CHAS. 0. TYSEB, Atlanta, Ga.
Not So Convenient.
Physicians indorse Rlpana Tabules by pre
ff-ribini: the remedies they contain, but in
form not so convenient, mexpensivo and ac
curatt: as lu P.ipans Tabules.
S. K. Coburn. Mcjr.. Clarie Scott, writes: "I
find Hall's Catari-. Cure a valuable remedy."
Druggists sell it, Toe.
Get l?ndcrcer?s attd Usc it It
vcu want to know the comfort of no corns. It
takes them out perfectly. 15c at druggists.
I cannot cpcak too highly of Piso's Cure for
Corsumption.-Mrs. FRANK MODUS, 2^Y.22d
St., New York, Oct. 29,1894.
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
^eethmir, rottens tho gum*, redueesinflamma
i.ou.-allays pain, cures wind collo. 25c. a bottle
' - "Wife used " MOTHERS' FRIEND "before first
child-was quickly relieved; suffered but little;
recovery rapid. E. E. JOHNSTON, Eufaula, Ala.
Upon pure, rich, healthy blood. Thoreforo,
eec that your blood is made pure by
The only true blood purifier prominently in
tho public eye today. Get only Hood's.
UmA*r> G!PA act harmoniously with
K009 S r.llS Hood's Sarsaparilla. 2Gc.
The Greatest fledical Discovery
of the Age.
DONALD KENNEDY, OF ROXBURY, MASS.,
Has discovered in one of our common
pasture weeds a romedy that cures every
kind of Humor, from the worst Scrofula
down to a common pimple.
He hos tried it in over eleven hundred
cases, and DOvor failed except in two cases
(both thunder humor). Ho bas now in
his possession over two hundred certifi
cates of its value, all within twenty miles?
of Boston. Send postal card for book.
? benefit is al ways experienced from tbs>
Hist bottle, ODJ a perfect cure is warranted
when the right quantity ia taken.
When tho lungs are affected lt causes
shooting pains, like needles passing
through them ; tho same with tho Liver
or Bowels. This i3 caused by tho ducts
bei?g stopped, and always disappears in a
wook after taking it. Bead tho label.
If tho stomach is foul or bilious lt will
cause squeamish feelings at first
No chango of diet over necessary. Eat
tho best you can get, and enough of lt.
Dose, one tablespoonful in water at bed
time. Sold by all Druggists.
& ASK YOUR DRUGGIST FOR *
* JOHN CARLE & SONS. New York. *
Variable Friction Feed Saw Mill
IN THE WORLD. Manufactured by
TUE BROWS & KING SUPPLY CO.,
Tolano University of Louisiana.
Ita advittit'iic-H for practical instruction, both in
am))!? laboratories ami abuil innt hospital i:i:it> rials
?ire unequaled. fftaa access is Kir?.n to the great
Charit? Hospital willi Tun bMs anti ?il,!>J:l patients SQ
uually. Special instruction is given dii:y ATTHKDKD
I:IT>F. OFTIM: K;<:K. Tin next Mvtsiun beginn October
I7tb, lsd For catalana1? and Information ad'lrens
Prof. S. E. CIIAILLK, M. I>., Dean.
jgy*P. O. Drawer 961. NEW ORLEANS, LA.
Clennw and boantlfie? the hair.
Promotes a luxuriant ?rrowth.
Hover Folie to Bestore Gray
Hair to lt? ToutUful Color.
QsrtB tcalp dUeaMi lc bair fiiiicg..
IF LOVE IS AT THE PROW?.
If Love is nt tho prow.
The Summer sky
fibril smile down, even as now;
And you and I
On rippling Summer seas of life shall sail
To blessed havens with a gent?o gato
If Love is at thc prow.
If Lovo our footstep leads,
Then shall we stray
Ia flower-scented meads,
Where all the way
Is balmy with tho breath of radiant J ila*
And tinkling brooks murmur a drowsy
If Love our footstep leads.
Ah, Love, let Love direct!
His beckoning hands
With garlands fnir ure decked;
And his commands
Are laid upon us for our happiness.
Ec hts the task to lead us and to bless,
Ah, Love, let Love direct!
-New York Recorder.
A STRANGE RESCUE,
E were very busy
at St. Alban's
and doctors were
bard at work from
night, and from
night till morn
ing agaim The
severe winter was
bringing its usuai
of starvation and sickness. Hurd
times and bad living were working
havoc among the poor ; tuc hospital
was full to overflowing, ?n unusual
number of casualties, at the sam9 time,
brought stretcher after stretcher to
the accidental room.
The great clock ov&r thc entrance
was just striking 6 as I threw my shawl
round me and hastened off across the
grounds to tho dispensary. Running
quickly through tho snow, I soou ar
rived at the door, and was greeted by
the customary growl which awaited
.'J am sorry I ara late in ooming for
the stimulant?," I said, as soon as I
could get my breath. "I could Dot
leave the ward before. Let mo sec,
sire ounces of brandy for No. 20 aud
little No. lG's portwine; that is all,
"Anything fresh this afternoon,
Nurse Deaton?" inquired the dispen
ser, as I busily packed the bottles into
my apron pocket, in order to leave
my hands free for my shawl.
"Nothing for us" I answered. "A
bad case has just gone ?p io Mary
Ward. A poor young fellow was
brought in this afternoon, fouud dead
in the 6now-good evcr-ing," and I
set off again across the wbito ground.
"Off duty at 6," I said to myself, as
I went. "I would not go off, only I
am so tired, and Sister says I must."
At the ward door I encountered
Nurse Flemming, my chum and fel
low-nurse, just emerging from the
ward, accompanied by two womeu,
one of whom was weeping bitterly.
"Oh, deane," exclaimed nurse as
she saw me, "I am so glad you aro
come. This is the wife of poor No.
12, who died this morning; tho wishes
to see him. I know you are off duty,
dear, but do you miud taking her?
I've just got a fracturo in, and Mr.
Hooper is waiting to attend to it ;
thank you." I nodded a cheerful ac
quiescence, and she turned back to at
tend to her many duties.
Taking the women with me, I went
to the room of the porter, who'kept
the morturary keys. With many
growls he lighted his lantern and pre
pared to accompany us, as ho was in
duty bound to do.
He was one of many male officials of
St. Alban's, who consider it right to
be as disagreeable as possible to the
nurses whenever they required his
services, so I took no notice of his
mutterings, but devoted my attention
to the poor woman at my side. While
she was telling mo of tho many vir
tues of her late husband, and of the
dark future in store for herself and
her eight children, we arrived at the
door of the mortuary. Leaving us
standing there, under a lamp which
projected from tho wall and which
the porter lit from tho Hame of
his lantern, tho man entered alone, in
order that ho might bring forward
from the large mortuary the particu
lar body we wished to see ; presently
he opened the door again to admit us.
Tho door by which we entered led
into a tiny chapel. It was hore that
tho relatives of the deceased looked
their last upon the pale, set faces of
their departed friends. Tho body
about to be visited was wheeled on a
light trolley into the chapel, which
was kept very clean, ond daily re
decked with wbito flowers.
As wo entered, the porter stepped
outside to do something to the lamp,
which did not burn properly, while I
went forward with the women and
gently turned back thc sheet from the
poor, dead face.
The two women were too much ab
sorbed-the ono with her grief and
the other with ber smypathy-to take
any notice of me. So I, remembering
a poor little waif who had died in my
arms a day or two before, and think -
iug I should like to seo him again, for
I had grown to love tho little mother
less creature, picked up tho lantern
from the floor and went in search of
my little patient. It was some time
before ? found him, and, after im
printing a kiss on the small, pitiful
face, I went to look at the new post
mortem room, which had lately been
fiuished, and which I had not seen.
I was walking round, the light of the
lantern gleaming weirdly on tho white
tiles which liued tho walls and floor,
when I suddenly heard a door bang.
Without knowing exactly what had
happened, 1 shivered with apprehen
sion and my flesh crept uneasily. In
a moment I had flown through tho
mortuary and into the chapel. Too
Ikte ! The door was shut and all was
in darkness !
In a moment I knew what had hap
pened. The porter, supposing that I
had gono and left the visitors to him,
had turned out the gas, locked the
door and gone away with them. Oh,
it was too horrible! I beat ou the
door with both my tist3. I raised my
voico in a fearful scream, but that was
worse than tho awful silence, for the
hollow walle took up tho sound and
the mocking echo came back to mc as
if the dead were shrieking in their
places. I sank to my knees on tho
damp stouesaud covered my face with
The building stood far away from
any other; the blustering wiud would
prevent my voice being beard even
had I the courage to shout again,
which I had not ; uo one would be in
tho grounds in such weather as this;
7 should not 1>G missed. In tho ward
I should bo supposed, being off duty,
to be in my own room. Nurse Flem
ming, iniwfing me from the supper
tubb-, would imagino that I bail gone
to bed, and would probably retire
without, as she thought, disturbing
I glanced at tho lantern ; how loi
would it burn? Could I depend on i
light lasting till dawn? I lookod
the trolley with its cold, still b?rde
then, with a mighty effort, I crossi
the chapel, and seizing the end of tl
ghastly carriage whirled it quickly i
to the large mortuary. With as mm
strength as my arms still possessed
sent it into the darkness and flt
back into the dimly-lighted chap(
closing the door behind me.
Now, at least, I was alone, wi
nothing more unearthly than whi
flowers and a large ebony cross wbi<
hung against the wal!. Sinking dov
into the corner most remote from tl
inner door, wrapping ray shawl clos
ly round my shivering shoulders,
placed the lantarn beside me ar
16trove vainly to think of pleasai
But all in vain! My eyes won
keep glancing round at the horrib
door. My ears would strain thee
6elves so listen for sounds from tl
silent room. Oh, I should go mac
I could not bear it ! How wickec
how cruel ! that no ono came to see
me! What was that? Tho grei
clock at the entrance was strikint
Onet two!-bnt no, 6even ! eighi
then silence. Only 8 o'clock ! On!
two hours Kineo I ran through tb
garden to fetch tue stimulants!
Almost involuntarily I slipped m
hand iuto my apron pocket. Yoi
thero wero tho two bottles, carofnll
wrapped ronnel with my handkerchiel
as 1 had put them.
Whether I fell asleep or not I hav
never since been ablo to determine
but when I roused from tho scmi-cor
eciousness into which I had fallen, se\
eral hours appeared to have elapsed
Instead of the dim light of the lantcr
at my side, the chapel was flooded wit
silver moonlight. In spite of my thic
shawl, I was fearfully cold and crampe
with leaning so long against tho chill;
stones. I was awaro that 6omethin
had roused me ; something beside
moonlight and discomfort. A glano
at the skylight ovorhead showed m
the moon sailing calmly through th
dark, blue vault of heaven, surroundei
by fleecy clouds ; and even as I looke:
and listened, tho great clock strucl
For nearly sis hours I hal lain un
couscious in that awful place. Th
fact did not tend to bring me comfort
I felt sick and ill, my limb3 ached
the black cross, touched by the moon
beams, loomed dork and awful agains
the whito wai). Oh, to dio and forge
everything! What was that? A sound
-a groan ! Ob, Heaven J cominf
from the other side of that inner door
1 hid risen to my feet, but now '.
sank back, frozen with horror, inte
tho sheltering corner. For a few mo
meuts silence, then it carno again. '.
listened-a low, long moon-but t<
my confused bruin it was not the hoi
low, unearthly groan of the stage ghosl
such as we aro wont to associate witl
rattling chains and lurid bluo fire, bul
rather tho groan of a human creature
in pain. As soon as this idea tools
possession of my weakened mind, my
courage rcturuod. All my nursc-liki
instincts came to ray aid.
The thought that a living humai
being was near, much more a fellow
creature who ncedid help, filled me
with new energy, and I roso and took
up my lantern. What I expected to
find I hardly know; perhaps some
workmen who had beau assisting with
the new building had fallon asleep, or
been overcome with drink, and shut
in, like myself, throngh misadven
ture. How improbable a theory this
was did not, fortunately, occur to me
until long afterward, andi opened tho
door and looked into tho dark inte
rior. At the sound of the opening
door- the groaniug cea3ed, and for
awhile I stood, uncertain which direc
tion to take.
Presently a movement at the fur
ther end decided me, and I made my
way slowly round the stone ledges,
casting the light of the lantern on the
ground as I went. No sign of a hu
man figuro could 1 soe. No British
workman's recumbent form gladdened
my eyes. I stood still, in perplexity.
Oh, heavens! uhat was that? Close
beside me, not yet placed in a shell,
but lvingon the stone slab, lay a long,
still figure. Still ! Oh. horror ! As
I looked, unablo to stir, I saw tho
white 6hect that covered it move-a
long, thin hand pushed itself from
beneath and almost touched me. All
my former experienco was nothing to
this. In a moment tho lingers had
pulled tho sheet from the face, and a
pair of dark eyes gazed into mine !
How long I stood thus I shall nover
know. At length, a long, quivering
sigh from tho whito lips called me to
myself, and I gathered courage to bend
over and touch tho prostrate form.
Enough ! Tho sp- '.i was broken ! I
knew then that this was no timo to
hesitate-no time to give way to wom
anish fears. I took tho cold hand in
"Do not fear," I 6aid, in as calm a
voice as I could command, "I will do
all I can for you;" and, taking tho
3hawl from my shoulders, I folded it
round the shivering form. Instinc
tively. I remembered the bottles in my
pocket, and, drawing them forth,
drojjped a little brandy between tho
chattering teeth. After a while the
returning color in the lips, tho in
creasing warmth of tho limbs, told mo
that my efforts had not been in vain.
Oh, if I could only summon aid ; but
that was impossible ! If 1 could keep
life in my compauion, my patient,
until help arrived ! . Fortunately, my
shawl was a large, warm one ; fortun
ately, old No. 20 hod not got his
brandy, but I had it safely here.
"WheroamI?" asked the man, as
ho looked round tho dim place, his
face full of surprise-and no wonder,
for his surroundings had, to say tho
least, au unusual appearance. I did
not think it wiso or necessary to ex
plain mattera more than to tell him ho
was in St. Alban's Hospital, and would
soon, doubtless bo well. Ho told me
what I had already guessed, that in
traveling on foot through the suow he
had been overtaken by intonso fatigue,
and being unable to overcome the
drowsiness ho knew might bo fatal, he
had fallen asleep. "It's a wonder I'm
not dead," ho concluded, and I made
I had been so absorbed in my work
that I had taken no account of the
hours as they went by, until now I
heard tho clock riug out six ! Oh, tho
joy of that sound !
We kept curly hours at St. Alban's,
and at six o'clock we were expected to
risc. I should be missed, sought for
and found !
I was shivering and sick. Tho mun
had fallen into a doze, from which I
could not find it in my heart to rouse
him, louely and misurablo as I felt.
Oh, how cold it was ! My thin cotton
dress was Beauty covering from the
icy air. How brag would it be before
they found me?
Would they .sock long before they
thought of tho mortuary? Would
they think ol' tho mortuary at all?
tfow thsso thought* tormented mo,
chasing each other through my aching
bruin until, at lust, a sound of a key
turning in the lock-the voice of my I
dear nurse companion saying, in be
wildered tones, "She cannot be here,
porter. " Then the whole place spnn
round, and I &aw and heard no more.
It was long before 1 returned to my
work. Pneumonia set i^. and foi
weeks I was too ill to leave my bed.
Tenderly was I nursed and much
was I praised for what they were
pleased to call my bravery. My pa
tient, I learned, had recovered and
was full of gratiiude for his strange
rescue from an untimely end. The
case of "suspended animation" was
much talked of among the doctore, and
the medical men took it up with in
terest. "You saved his life, you
know," said the nurses to me, appar
ently to console mo for my unpleas
ant experiences ; and the patienthim
self has told me the samo thing a hun
dred times sine 3 that day, for I am
now his wife.-Strand Magazine.
WORDS OF tVISDOX.
Prudence is a plug to prosperity.
An army is a great monster with a
head, but no heart.
No man can be happy without shar
ing it with somebody.
Cupid is a physician who never
takes his own medicine.
A dead beat that is hatched from
laziness is of few days and full of
Some men will "bet you ten dol
lars" when they aro at the encl of their
The man who becomes a successful
hypocrite has to work at it every day!
in tha. week.
Hate is two points with poison tips
-one toward your enemy the other
There is no pkco Uko home, and
that is why so many men spend their
evenings down town.
It takes some pcoplo a whole lifo
time to find out that no dollar is big
enough to give on hour's happiness.
There are two sides to every ques
tion, top and bottom ; and the man ou
the bottom side is liable to be crashed.
As a rule, women say almost every
thing elso of a woman who is engaged
except that she is too young to marry.
Some people never want certain
things until they seo others anxious
for them and then they want them
Tho man who falls in love with s
pretty faco alone, gets over his disap
pointment as soon as the pretty face
grows old. .
One of the most imoortant, but one
of tho most difficult things for a pow
erful mind, is to be its own master; a
pond may lie quiet in a plain, but' a
lake wants mountains to compass and
hold it in.
A Novelist's Story.
Mr. Frankfort Moore was for many
years one of the leading journalists of
Belfast, before ho took the English
literary world by storm with his suc
cession ot brilliant books-so brill
iantly paradoxical in subject and
phrase-"I Forbid the Banns," "A
Gray Eye or So," and "One Fair
Daughter." His "Journalist's Note
Book" is full of good stories of his
experiences; but thc other night ho
told me ons which has never yet seen
daylight on paper.
A slim, fair-haired young man, al
most a boy, called on him and sent in
his card as Mr. Archibald Clavoring
Gunter. Mr. and Mrs. Moore hap
pened to bo familiar with tho huge,
curly, Max O'Bellish appearance of
tho author of "Mr. Barnes of New
York," but they welcomed the visitor
none the less, though Mrs. Moore was
at pains not to leave them alone, for
sho intuitively grasped what the
pseudo Gunter wanted. So things
went on till it was timo for Mr. Moore
to go to his office. The stranger fol
lowed him there. Of course, he
wanted money, and when Mr. Moore
suggested that the American Consul
would be glad to assist so distin
guished a fellow-countryman, he ex
plained that he and that fnnctionary
had taken opposite sides in the Civil
War, so he was afraid he Tvould haye
to ask Mr. Moore to lend it to him.
"Pd bo delighted to do so, my dear
fellow," said Mr. Moore, with his
ready Irish wit, as tho office boy ap
peared in answer to his ring to show
tho visitor out, "but the fact is, you
haven't told me who you are." He
pointed to a print of tho real Archi
bald, but the stranger had fled.-Lon
don Queen. ^^^^^^
Daniel Webster ou tho Great West.
When wo think of tho toeming popu
lation which now fills many portions
of our country west of tho Eocky
all over tho world, ia their singular
beauty, and their incomparable value
to tho tourist, tho health seeker, tho
agriculturist and the horticulturist,
as well as thc miner, it is interesting
to read what so intelligent a states
man as Daniel Webster thought of
them just fifty years azo, and to know
that hi3 views wero shared by many
other prominent public men of the
time. In a speech delivered in tho
United States Sonate in 1844, with re
gard to the proposal that a mail ser
vico should bo established between
Missouri and the Pacific coast, Web
ster said :
"What do we want with this vast
worthless area, this region of savages
and wild beasts, of deserts, of shifting
sands and whirlwinds of dust, of cac
tus and prairie dogs? To what use
could we ever hope to put these great
deserts, or theso endless mountain
ranges, impenetrable, and covered to
their bases with eternal snow? What
can we over hope to do with the west
ern coast, a coast of thrco thousand
miles, rock-bound, cheerless and un
inviting, with not a harbor on it?
What use have wo for such a country?
Mr. President, I will never voto ono
cent from tho public treasury to plaoe
tho Pacific coast ono inch nearer Bos
ton than it is to-day."-Scientifio
A Kind Voice.
There is no power of lovo so hard to
get and to keep as a kind voice. A
kind hand is deaf and dumb. It may
bo rough iu flesh and blood, yet do
tho work of a soft heart, and do it
with a soft touch. But there is no
one thing that love so much needs as a
sweet voico to tell what it means and
feels ; and it is hard to got and keop
it in tho right tone. One must start
in youth, und bo on the watch night
and day, at work and at play, to get
ami keep a voice that shull speak at
all times the thoughts of a kimi heart.
It is often in youth that one gets n
voico or a tone that is sharp, and it
sticks to him through life, and stirs
np ill will and grief, and falls like a
drop of gall on the sweets of homo.
Watch it day by day us a pearl of
great price, for it will bo worth moro
to you in days to como than the best
pearl hid in tho sens. A kind voico is
to the heart what light is to the eye.
lt is H light that sings as well as
BUDGET OE FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FR031
Wliat Turned Her Head-Sheriff Will
Wipe Out tho Gang-An In
^ dignity-The Unhappy
-, ? , fe_
She had a lovely neck,
And everybody said
Who. indeed, might doubt it?
That that's what turned her head.
STiEEEFF "WILL WIPE OCT THE GANG.
"Yon say the desperados came in
and cleaned out the town ?"
'Tes; and now the town people are
out scouring tho country. "-Kansas
A I?EWARD OF MERIT.
"Goodluck has had his salary raised ;
was it for extra work?"
'Tes. He always listens when the
proprietor tolls his baby's smart say
SHE WOULD NOT BE FLATTERED.
Gent-"Mademoiselle looks more
beautiful every dar."
Lady-"You have been telling mo
so for a good many years ; what a hor
rid fright I must have been to start
~ THE ART OF CONQUEST.
"Has the King of Umsquog ever in
sulted us?" askod Great Britain.
"Never," replied the warrior.
"Well, go out and irritate him a
bit. He's got sorao ground that I'd
like to own." -Washington Star.
THE UNHAPPI GROOM.
Friend-"What makes you write all
Groom-elect-"Practicing how to
write Jibson and wifo on a hotel regis
ter without having tho clerk ask me if
wo'ro newly married." - Syracuse
"So tho insolent fellow rofusod to
pay his rent"
"He did not say so in words, but
he intimated it."
"Ho kicked mo downstairs."-La
SOMETIMES THE WAY.
"Who's this man who has grown so
rich in your ward?"
"Oh, that's Skayte, an ignorant sort
"And tho man who's bankrupt?"
"That's Mazzlea, tho eminent au
thority on financiering. " - Chicago
A TRUTHFUL SAYING.
"Well," muttered the colloctor, as
ho sank wearily into a chair and
turned to his employer, "there is one
old saving that I can vouch for."
"What is it?"
"The one that says : 'You never find
a man ont till you trust him. ' "-At
A THEORY INDORSED.
"What' the Indian needs," said the
eminent sociologist, "is a rational sys
tem of supervision."
"That's right," ropliod tho "nan who
has lived m the far Wost; "what tho
Indian needs is gettin' his rations to
'im reg'iar an' enough of 'em." -
TH03E MUDDLED ORATORS.
"I enjoyed your lecture on the
financial issue very much," said the
oitizen to the orator, "but I would
like to ask you one question."
"Certainly," said the orator; "go
"What side of the quostion are you
Warden-"Well, what's tho trou
Prisoner-"I'vo been unjustly hu
miliated. I am serving a term tor not
being able to account for S3,500,000,
and you've put mo in a cell with a
man who.is doing timo for counterfeit
ing nickles."-San Francisco Exam
Doctor-"Take a stated amount of
Patient -"Will it bo enough if I
walk twice around my wife's theatro
hat every day?"
Doctor-"You'd better not risk
over-oxerting yourself at first. Begin
with once and increaso tho laps os
you feel able."---Life.
FLATTERY THAT WON.
"How did Hopson manage to bo
come engaged to the wealthy Miss An
tique? I thought she was a man
"So sha was, but when ho advised
her not to get a bell for her bicycle,
for when she rode it thero was already
one on it, she immediately succumbed. "
WHY nE WAS SAD.
Spike McGafTncy- "Say, Peto,
when I iook inter a house like dat an'
seo all der people happy ra' der pres
ents all spread out on der table, it jist
brings tears to me eyes."
Second Story Pete-"Brings tears
to yer eyes! What fer?"
Spike McGa?ney-"Canso dey keep
two bloodhounds, an' dey's got double
burglar alarms on der windy."
"How did you got your title of
'General?' " askod the hero-worship
"I cut my wuy to it," was the proud
"On tho field?''
"No ; in Bill Wiggins's hotel. There
was only two mon in our town that
had ever been in the army at all, so
we cat tho cards to seo which should
.be 'General' and which 'Colonel.' "
Tho Eskimo chieftain was as hard
as to his heart as tho bergs of his na
"Back," he commanded.
The explorer was iain to parley.
"I am but one," ho urged.
"I know it," rejoined the Arctic po
tentate, "but if 1 admit you there'll
bo all the way from fourteeu to 15G
relief expeditions after you, and our
people will know no such thing as
Of course, it was nobody's busiuess,
but ho did uot mind saying he was not
born yesterday.- Detroit Tribune.
TUE NOVELIST'S 1IEFITOE.
"I can't bring my fagged-out fancy
up to the point ol' portraying the cul
minating lovo scene between the hero
and heroine of this story," solilo
quized the gifted novelist, "and I'll
just say 'the interview between Koder
ick and Penelope, those true hearts so
sorely tried, now so happily reunited
at last, may bo safely left to the read
er's imagination.'' This .may be a lit
tle disappointing to the reader, but it
flatters him and saves lots of work.
There's cheating in all trades but
ours," continued the gifted novelist,
making a row of stars across the page,
adding a quotation from Byron and
j writing the words : "The end."-Chi
STILL noon FOB nESEAncn.
"What is this new substance that 1
hear so much about?" asked the emi
nent scientist's wife.
"What new substance, my dear?"
"The element in the air that has
just been detected."
"Oh, that, my dear," ho answered,
beaming over his spectacles with the
good nature of superior wisdom, "is
known as Argon. "
"Yes. Its discovery is ono of the
most remarkable triumphs of tho age.
It has revolutionized some of tho old
theories ; or at least it will revolution
ize thom before it gets through. "
"What is it?"
"It's-er-a-did you say 'what is
"I said that."
"Well-ahem-you see, wo haven't
as yet discovered much about it ex
cept its name."-Washington Star.
There is quite a difference of opinion
among recognized authorities as to the
usefulness of tho after-dinner nap.
Some of these people claim that the
merest dropping off to sleep is much
better than the heavy, undisturbed re
pose in which somo temperaments
seem inclined to indulge.
In this matter, as in almost every
thing else in thc world, difference in
constitution, condition and circum
stances is lost sight of. As a general
rule, it may be said that whoever falls
asleep and sleeps long and heavily
does so because tho system has need
of that sort of rest. Sleep is a com
modity that docs not como by will,
but on the most imperativo demand of
nature. People who work hard, cither
mentally or physically, who are in any
way overtaxed or exhausted by effort
of any kind, must in some way restore
tho nervous balance, and in no way is
this so readily and satisfactorily done
as by long continued and undisturbed
sleep, if the individual can indulge
There are few things more coveted
than the ability to sleep quietly and
naturally, and it is very rare indeed
that one gets too much of this kind of
To be sure, there aro persons of
sluggish habit and people who are
given to over indulgence at the table
which is productive of inaction and an
almost continuous sleepy condition,
but these are exceptions rather than
the rule. Thc masses of people sleep
too little, and it is scarcely worth
while, save in exceptional cases, to
curtail tho hour3 that nature demands
for this most efficient means of restora
tion. Above all things should chil
dren and young persons, those under
twenty especially, bo given all the op
portunity consistent with their occu
pation and oducation for untroubled
sleep. Tho fact that nature demands
a thing is most excellent reason for
granting it. "Porty winks" may do
very well for some temperaments, but
it is by no means to be recommended
to persons who are in any degree weary
or overworked.-New York Ledger.
$7500 For a Sot of Teeth.
A well known firm of bankers in
London have just mado a profitable
investment. Some time ago a man
who had defrauded them of a largo
sum of money was taken into custody,
convicted and sentenced to a long term
of penal servitude.
As may be imagined, the prison fare
did not agree with a man who had by
means of fraud lived on the fat of tho
land. Tho change affected him iii
many ways, but he complained more
particularly of the effect tho ford had
upon his teeth. They were n^u num
erous or in good condition when ho
was sentenced, and as 'hey rapidly be
came worse he applied to the Gover
nor of tho prison for a new set.
He was told that the Government
did not supp'y prisoners with artifi
cial teeth, ?.nd at the first opportun
ity he w^ote to the oauking firm in
question offering, if they would send
him a new set, to give them some val
Thereupon the bankers, thiuking
tho offer might be a genuine one, sent
tho Governor of tho prison a check for
$25, and askod him to provide tho
convict with a set of artificial teeth.
In due course the convict kept his
promise, and sent the bankers certain
information, by means of which they
were enablod to recover no less thau
$7500 of which they had been defraud
ed. They naturally regarded this as tho
best investment they had ever male,
but it proved even better than antici
pated, for they h ivojust received from
tho prison authorities a remittance of
$5, tho teeth having cost only $20.
Thc Japanese shop is like a big and
highly ornamental box, with one side
knocked out-the side toward tho
8troet. Especially valuable goods are
not exposed in tho shops, but kept iu
godowns or safe deposit vanlts, to be
brought out wheu wanted, but in
most shops the whole stock can be
seen from tho street. If the purchaser
is in a hurry he simply sits down on
the edge of thc floor, which projects
over the street-there is no sidewalk
and calls for what he wants. For
purchases of greater momo ut he cn ten
the ehop, squats cross-legged, and is
treated to tea by the salesrnau.
Not only can ono seo whatever goes
on in a Japauese shop, but even in a
homo there is no privacy. If it is
night, and tho sliding shutters of culed
paper aro drawn, the lamp light
throws strong shadows of tho people
within on tho opaque shades, aud
shows precisely what all are doing.
Some say that this lack of privacy en
courages in the Japanese their polite
ways. They are always on their good
behavior.-New York Becorder,
Virgil, describing a boat race, says
of the winning crew : "They are able,
because they think themselves able.
M. de Lesseps, tho engineer of tho
Suez Canal, took for his motto at tho
commencement of th*<t great work,
"Believe that you eau and you will."
He was convinced of the need of tho
work, he fairly estimated the obstacles
in tho way, ho studied the methods of
overcoming them and he built the
canal. This is true confidence, in
contradistinction from vain confi
Thc longest submarine cable is that
from Brest to St. Pierre, placed in
1809, measuring 5033 kilometres,
In Southern Hospitals.
Some conception of the magnitude
of the labora performed in field and
hoBpital service by the officers of the
medical corps of the Confederate army
may be formed by the consideration
of the following general results :
Yoar.. Killed. Woundod. Prisoners.
18G1. 1,315 40M 2.772
1862. 18,582 68 659 48.300
1863. 11.87? 01,313 71.211
1804-C.j.... 22,200 70.C00 00,000
63,073 194,026 202,283
Daring the period of nineteen
months, January, 1862, to July, 1863,
inclusive, over one million cases of
wounds and disease were entered upon
the Confederate field reports, and
over four hundred thousand cases of
wounds upon the hospital reports.
The number of cases of wounds and
diseases treated in the Confederate
field and general hospitals were, how
ever, greater during tho following
twenty-two months, ending April,
1865. It is safo to affirm, therefore,
that more than 3,000,000 cases of
wounds and diseases were cared for by
the officers of the medical corps of the
Confederate army dnring the civil war
of 1861-'65. Tho figure of course do
not indicate that the Confederacy had
in the field an army approaching
3,500,000. On tho contrary the Con
federate forces engaged during the
war, 1861-1865, did not exceed 600,000.
Each Confoderato soldier was on an
average, disabled for greater or lesser
period, by wounds and sickness, about
six times during the war.-Galveston
This is an improvement on the tele
phone. The instrument originated in
tho * sst, and by its use it is said that
the human voice can be heard over a
mile. A dispatch from Cincinnati, O.,
states that the Melaphono was tested
on a steamboat and that the pilot
talked with parties on cither shore
with the greatest ease and distinctness.
It ia regarded by the steamboat men
of great value in river traffic.
?Thc Royal Baker
Ile Was Desperate.
Said Mrs. Fussy (who had kept thc
long-suffering shopkeeper in agony for
over an hour)-You needn't show me
anything more; there is nothing here
that suits me.
"Can't I show you tho door,ma'am?"
asked tho shopkeeper, desperately.
I COOK BO
Every housekeeper w;
things to eat, and h
% Contains One thous;
f every kind of cookir
? Rudmani, New-Yoi
Free by mail. Addr
mentioning this pape:
g ROYAL BAKING
If TP Tf If IJT 7J? 7$ T^t -ip
To Clean Silk ^aTsI?T"*
Both light and dork silk waist?,
when soiled, may be greatly improved
in apperrance by sponging them well
with pnsoline or naphtha. Take a clean
piece of old bleached cloth, wet it in
.?ne gasoline and rub quickly all over
the waist, rubbing tho silk length
wise. Wipe the silk over with a clean
dry cloth and hang in tho open air for
the odor of the cleaning fluid to evap
orate. If wrinkled, press tho silk on
the wronk side with a moderately
warm iron, first laying a cloth over
its surface. This kind of cleauing will
remove all grease and much grime,
thounh not all kinds of spots. Car
pets and furniture coverings aro often
greatly improved by denning them in
the same way. Do not bring the gaso
line or naphtha near a firo or light
and thoroughly air anything denned
with it. When a carpet has been
deaned by it, leavo windows open for
an entire day.-JYcw York Post.
There is an interest in old trees
which seems to be a never-failing topic
of discussion. The oldest tree or the
biggest tree in any country is sure to
have a reputation hardly equaled by
any other local curiosity. Old peo
ple, too, lovo to talk of these familiar
topics, and their children after them
repeat with pleasure the queer old sto
ries and ideas about "the old trees"
which still live, whilo everyone else
grows old and drops away forgotten.
Here is a practical argument to the
young of tho present generation to
plaut trees for all futurity. They may
fall from the ranks of life at any time,
but the trees they planted bear their
names on for years with many a pre
cious memory. And of all old trees
none are so fraught with reminiscences
as old fruit trees. Everyeno who has
planted a fruit tree is a benefactor,
and long after the planter has gone to
his last rest and beeu forgotten, somo
one, gratoful for tho fruits which bo
enjoys, will ask, "Who planted that
old tree?"-Farmer's Voice.
the illness at
birth, or who suf
fer from the ef
'fects of disorders,
ments of thc wo
will find relief
and a permanent cure in Dr. Pierce's
Favorite Prescription. Taken during
pregnancy, the "Prescription"
HAKES CHILDBIRTH EASY
by preparing the system for parturition,
thus assisting Naturs and shortening
"labor." The painful ordeal of child
birth is robbed of its terrors, and the
dangers thereof greatly lessened, to both
mother and child. The period of con
finement is also greatly shortened, the
mother strengthened and built up, and
an abundant secretion of nourishment
for the child promoted.
Cumberland Island, Ca.
PIlMtt toa bnaoh in tho South. Kithing unexcelled
on tim Continent, Street cars froo to tho boaoh.
Naphtha Inuach and ll:et of row-boats. Splendid
lirery appointments. Ampio accommodations (or WO
guestx. Grand orchestral Music moi mu; and ovon
ing-. Popular ratas.
ijEE T. S HACKELFORD, Proprietor.
? Slave From Boyhood
.rr? ? " ? V
(From (he Sed Wing, Minn., Republican!)
"I am now twenty-four years old," said
Edwin Swanson, ?l White Book, Goodhue
County, Minn., to a Republican representa,
tire, "and as yon can see lam not very large
ol ai at ur:. When I wai eleven yours old I
became amie ted with a eiokness whloh bai*
fled the skill and knowledge of the physician,
I was not taken suddenly Ul hat on the cen*
tra ry J can hardly state the e wet tiru o when
it began. The first symptoms were pains in
my hook and restless nights. The disease
did not trouble me much at first, but lt
seemed to have settled In my body to stay
and my bitter experienco during the lost
thirteen years proved that to be the ca-e. I
was of course a child and never dreamed ot
the suffering In store for me. I complained
to my parents and they concluded that In
time I would outgrow my trouble, but when
they heard me groaning during my sleep
they becamo thoroughly alarmed. Medical
advice was sought but to no avail; I grew
rapidly worse and was soon unable to more
about and finally becamo confined continu
ally to my bed. Tho best doctors that could
be nad were consulted, but did nothing for
me. I tried various kinds of extensively ad
vertised patent medicines with but the same
"For twelve long years I was thus a suf
ferer In constant agony without respite,
abscesses formed on my body in rapid suc
cession and tho world Indeed looked very
dark to me. About this time when all hope
was gone and nothing seemed left but to re
sign myself to my most bitter Tate my atten
tion was called to Dr. Williams' Pink Pills
for Palo People. Ll ko a drowning man
grasping at a straw, In sheer desperation I con
cluded to make one more attempt-not tore
gain my health (I dare not to hope so much)
but if possiblo to ease my pain.
"1 bought a box of the pills and they
seemed to do me good. I felt encouraged
?nd continued their use. After taking six
boxes I was up and ablo to walk around the
house. I have net felt so well for thirteen
years as during tho past vear. Only one
year have 1 taken Dr. Williams' Pink Pills
and I am able now to do chores and attend
to light duties.
"Do I heditato to let you publish what I
bavo said? No. Why should Ii It is the
truth and I am only too glad to let other suf
ferer* know my experience. It may help
thoso whose cup of misery ls as full to-day
us mino was in the past."
Dr. Williams' Pink FJHs contain, In a con
densed form, all tho elements necessary to
give now lifo and richness to the blood and
restore shattered nerves. They are also a
specific for troubles peculiar to females, such
as suppressions, irregularities and all forms
of weakness. They l uild up the blood, and
restore the glow of health to pale and sallow
cheeks. In men 1 hey effect a radical euro in
all cases arising from mental worry, over
work or excesses of whatever nature. Pink
Pills aro sold in boxes (never In loose bulk)
nt CO cents a box or six boxes for ?2.D0, and
may be bad of all druggists, or direct by
mail from Dr. Williams' Medicino Company,
Schenectady, N. Y.
OK FREE. I
ants to know the best
ow to prepare them. *
and Pastry Cook-" *
and useful recipes for #
ig. Edited by Prof. #
rk Cooking School. *$.
ess (writing plainly),
j POWDER CO. $
06 Wall Street, N. Y. f
$ $ %;$%f ?
?^a_Liigiiy^i i HUH ' rn-frgaai
One Way of Getting Home.
One dark, foggy night there was i
knock at the door of a doctor in Shef
"Oh, doctor, make baste. My wife
is dangerously ill !"
The doctor uttered a suppressed
growl of impatience, for tho village to
which he was summoned was about six
miles out of town. He ordered his
carriage and the two drove on through
the damp, cold night.
Just before they reached the village
in question thc husband of the sick
woman alighted on 6ome pretext or
other, but did not roturn; and after
driving into thc village the medico
found nobody who needed his assist
A week later ho recoived a note,
without signature, explaining the mys
"Dear Doctor-I am exceedingly
obliged for you giviug me a lift in
your carriage, for I found it impossi
ble to procure another conveyance,
and it was a dreadful night. I hope
you will forgive mo this once."- Ex
Heroine (despairingly)-How much
are you paid for thus relently pursu
Heavy Villain-A paltry SI5 a week
and expenses, ma'am.-Butfalo Cou
Lady-Are you sure the tea is gen
uine? It has u very peculiar smell.
Dealer-Very possibly ; gunpowder,
no doubt; they're having war in China
Thc Reviving POTTOM of Parker's Ginger
Ton'c make it th?! need of every home. Stom
ach troubles, colds and all distress yield to it.
If afflicted willi sore ere* use Dr. Isaac Thomp
son's Eye-wat cr. Dm eirists set I a t25c per bott le.
] Mine?d H&autae
School of Shorthand and Telegraphy.
No text books ns>d. Aitual business from day of
cn ??rilli.'. Bii.inii-.il m per-, colirio curr-ney and
good, II ed. Send for handsomely illustrated cata
logue. Hoi.-J cheap. K. R. fare p?:d to Augusta.
TYBltK ISLAND, GA.
This Hotel is noted for its excitent serries and
sp'rndidcn nine, I hs tab". - be ? . sunn ?ed with all tho
iwlcaowfl thx m ir-c.it afford <? An abundant supply ot
tish, crib', ?hr mp, etc. Loin's Ana orchestra en
gaged for season. Specially loir rates this s-ason.
Writ? for terms. Special iuducoments to "partiel of
Icu ur mure KO I IAN ?fe IUI WAN.
Notice to Mill Men
And farmers owning .?mall powor: Tho nnest ont
most com l?te Saw Mi'l in ex stenco to-day, is manu
factured l.v tue Dcl.OACH XII.I. lU'l?'?;. CO.,
330 iliuhlrioii Ave.. Atlanta, lin, Touk first
prize nt World1!" Fair st Chicago. All nixes, from 4 h.
C. up to the Inrgt'st. Prices reduced. Sond for oats
gue showing new improvements; a'so. of Portable
V>rn Mil s. Bali?g Prts-es and Turbine Water Wheels,
Pulleys and .shifting and all kindsof mill supplies.
ffsfc H ct tra np" D i ft n rt1 tinv?n valuable ro
11 H BBJ|L B LU (JU erip: for purifying
fbtV BJ g] r ino blood, driving array pimples,
^.r ? B MUM blotches fallow skin, ?c., giving
?5? a fresh, rosy color to the face, lt Js nourishing
to tho system. Will cure Dyspepsia Simple
lo prepare. Contains no drugs, bm a grand brood
purifying tonic. I will MM iheieco'pttoanyonefor
fl. Addrts? E. M. COLL, Box SS5, Sioux etty, Iowa.
A. N. U. Twenty-six, '95.
Beat Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Usc 19