Newspaper Page Text
Gif tod That Way.
.?It is dead easy," said he. "Irode
.ll right the very first time, and have
n sver had a fall yet. "
"Oh, of course," said the girl, who
had been practicing "this-is-so-sud
don" before the mirror for mere than
nix months. "It is out of the question
fer one to expect yon to ever take a
By Brute Force.
Lansing-"They say Jack only won
Miss Bich by brute force."
Lansing-"He promised her his en
tire dog kennel if she'd marry him."
Detroit Free Press.
The Rock of Gibralter
Js ?ot steadier than a system liberated from
thc shackles of chills and ?ever, bili oas re
mittent or dumb ague by il anett cr's St omach
Bitter*, a perfect antidote to malarial noison
In air or water. It is also an unexampled
rem edy for bilious, rheumatic or kidney com
plaints, dyspepsia and nervousness, it im
proves appetite and sleep and hastens conva
Teec&noe. - _
Tile telegraph department of the London
pos'office employs 3,450 messengers.
The iron grasp of scrofula has no
mercy upon its victims. This demon
of the blood is often not satisfied with
causing dreadful sores, but raoks.the
body with the pains of rheumatism
untU Hood's Sarsaparilla'cures.
..Nearly four years as:o I] became af
flicted with scrofula and rheumatism.
Bottling fsores^broke out'onTmy thighs.
Fiecee^of bono came out and an operation
was contemplated, I had rheumatism in
ray legs, drawn up out of r.hape, I lost ap
p?tit?, could not sloep. I was a perfect
wreck. I oontinuod to grow worse and
final y gave up the doctor's treatment to
take Hood's Sarsaparilla. Soon appetite
eame back; the sores commenced to heal.
My limbs straightened out and I throw
.way my crutches. I em now stout and
hearty and am farming, whoreas four
years ago I was a stipple. I pladly rec
ommend Hood's Sarsaparilla." UUBAN
HUQCOKD, Table Grove, Il.inols.
lathe One True Blood Puri?er. All druggists. $1
Prepared only by C. I. Hood & Co.. Lowell, Mass.
?AAJ|9A DUI? curo Liver Ills; easy to
lill VII 9 rall9 take, easy to operate. ?5c.
As to Spelling.
If there is one accomplishment ot
which men are more proud than of any
other it is their ability to spell cor
rectly. That is why Deacon White,
Dr. Talmags, Henry "Ward Beecher,
Frederio B. Ooudert, Seth .Low and
the whole host of able and influential
men enter with such gleo into spelling
bees. And do you know not one of
them can spell? There are two pr
three ways of spelling almost every
thing these days, and no one can eay
which is proper. Worcester sticks in
nis two l's wherever he can, while
Webster aees only one. Stormonth
splits the difference, and the Century
dictionary does not seom to know
what to do. I am forever at sea, It
hurts me to have my idols shattered.
Pronunciation is a hard thing to mas
ter. I grew up with the "de-fio-it,"
and find it hard to say "def-i-cit." Fpr
years I said "fi-nsnee," and it comes
very hard to say "fee-nans." Old dogs
have tv hard time learniug the new
tricks of this generation.-New York
HER HAPPY DAT.
A CHARMING STORY OF M?DICINE
. Two Open Letters From a Chicago Girl
-How Happiucss Carno to Her.
Among the tens of thousands of
women who apply to Mrs. Pinkham for
Advice and are cured, are many who
wish the facts in
... Jctyt?&ei their cases made
. . Jytp^jt&M public, but do not
\j_^fifmj^^^rnrj C1VC permission tc
^TCoSflP?y publish their
^fgj^> names for reasons
/j^^- ^aa obvious as iu
/BS^Bk^vi an(* no name *s
WjS w^mE^m QVCT. Polished
/^^^?BSB faith which
/ ^^i^fek^ Mrs.Pinkham
J ?^^'^ didher so much good."
J f?la? I nm desperate. Am nine
teen years of agc, tall, and
Weighed 138 pounds a year ago. I am now
a mere akeleton. From your little book I
think my troublo is profuse menstruation.
My syn. atoms are * * * * etc.
Our doctor (my uncle) tells father that I am
in consumption, and wants to take me to
Florida. Please help me! Tell me what to do,
.nd tell me quickly. I am engaged to be mar
ried in September. SliaU I live to seo the
<tey? . . ? . LUCY B.W.
Chicago, June 16th, '05.
Hy dear Mrs. Pinlcharuiw
Thia is a happy day. I am well and gaining
weight daily, but shall continue thc treatment
?nd Vegetable Compound during the summer,
as you suggest Uncle knows nothing about
what you have Cone for me, because it would
make things very unpleasant in the family. I
would like to give you a testimonial to publish,
but father would not allow it. * . * . I
shall bo married in September, r.-d ns we go
to 3oston, will call upon you. How cen \
prove my gratitude? . * . *
LUCY E. W.
Just such cases as the above leak out
in women's circles, and that is why the
con fidence of the women of America is
bestowed upon Mrs. Pinkham.
Why are not physicians more candid
with women when suffering from such
Women want tho truth, and if they
cannot get it from their doctor, will
?eek it elsewhere.
WHAT IS ALABASTINE ?
f ' A pure, permanent and artistic wall-coating
ready for the brush by mixing in cold wattr.
FOR SALE BY PAINT DEALERS EVERYWHERE
rn rr S A-Tint showing IS desirable tints,
111 iLL Ialso Aiabastine Souvenir Rock sent free
? f io any ono mentioning tipa paper
ALABASTINE CO., Grand Rapids. Mich,
fall fe A ?nd har straggle for Freedom. Agent?
Vy.EAjtatfrd, 8,8,I^QaA.Cfl.B?xtford. Uh
A SBA <
UT it is a proof of
Preakness to be blind
ed by affection to the
faults of those we love.
I'or my part, I make
no such distinctions.
Even my mother, to
me, is first of all an
! individual, and", after that, my
Pretty Janet Dale gave the speaker
a distinctly disapproving glanoe.
-'No, no, Phil,*; returned his uncle,
indulgently reproving in that mellow
voice which was one of his charms ;
"first of all she is your mother, and
after that an individual."
Tho first speaker, Philip Drum
mond, had one of those vividly hand
some faces that would attract atten
tion in any orowd. It we s so eager,
so young-and his character, too, had
all the sharply defined anglos of youth.
He bristled with theories and opinions.
Th<;re was a strong family resemblance
between himself and his uncle. Mr.
Arnyii Tan Dyne was also a hand
some man, but naturally lin a more
elderly way, with more rotundity of
figure ; and the fact that hin dark eyes
were eot rather close together de
prived them of the t candor of expres
sion whioh characterized Philip's
! "Thank you for saying that, Mr.
Van Dyne," 6aid Janet, to whom the
wor l "mother" brought buck a sud,
"I cansent to waive the point," said
Philip carelessly. "It's too hot, any
how, to be argumentative," he added,
as he fanned himself with his scraw
The conversation took plaoe on
board the Tom Jones, a dingy little
steamboat that plied betweeu a South
ern ci ; y and an island of the pair.
They were now waiting to effect their
entrance through a canal dock, and
the pause was a tedious one, with not
a ghost of a breeze blowing, and noth
ing to be seen but a few gaping by
standers on the bank, and the spright
ly tiddler orabs scrambling about ic
the mu 3.
. "If this is a foretaste of the joys to
corni," sighed Janet, "what a happy
fortnight we shall havel"
"2\ow, my dear child," urged her
father, "don't mako up yonr mind be
forehand to dislike the place."
"YOT;. see," said Janet, triming to
Mr. Vaa Dyne, "papa has always rep
resented the island as a sort of earthly
paradis?, and as this is the first time I
have ever consenter, to visit it he feels
"It it a jolly sort of place when you
get usetl to it," s*?u?v in Phil. "Not
very exciting : out yon ca$ do pretty
much a? yov. please there-wear old
clothes and be as unconventional-and
as selfish-as you like."
"That is not my idea of bliss," re
"Whatever else the place lacks,"
said Mr. Van Dyne, "rhe air is deli
cious. ."It makes ono feel young and
strong, capable of any exertion."
By this time the tiresome wail was
ended, and the Tom Jones was puffing
and snorting its way between the
banks of the narrow canal ; into the
bayou, which presently widened into
a lake. The sky had been .growing
darker, aud now a sadder: squall
arose, with sheets of rain and a wild
wind. The feminine passengers re
tired io the small and stuffy cabin,
where most of them seized tho oppor
tunity to become seasick. A s a pre
cautionary measure the engines were
stopped, the Tom Jones not being a
crait suited to stormy waters.
"I trust this wi!! grow no worse,"
said Mr. Van Dyne, uneasily. "Are
you suffering any inconvenience from
the rocking of the boat. Miss Janet?"
"Not a-; all ; only I wish papa would
let me go outside. It is BO close in
Phil appeared just then, with a
"Such a joke !" he exclaimed. 'The
captait, forgot to bring the anchor
"Not really?" said Janet. . .
, "I don t see much of a joke about
that my boy, especially if tho wind
rises ar y Ligher."
One of the dejected sufferers raised
a languid head to ask : "Are we in any
"Oh, nc," said Phil, struggling to
open tte door. "It's rapidly going
She gave a hollow groan, "ile says
we are rapidly going down," ehe
moaned to a companion in misery.
"The wind, not the boat," exclaimed
Phil, ar d she fell back with a mut
Preseatly the squall passed and the
boat steamed on once more ; bat as
they had been delayed, it wa? dusk
before they approached tho island.
Then the painful news was circulated
that the tide was too low for tho Tom
Jones to reach the wharf.
"Must we stay on board all night,"
. "Wehre going ashore in a lugger
a romantic lugger that will satisfy all
your cravings for the picturesque,"
replied '.Phil, with unfeeling levity.
"Don't be alarmed-it won't last
lon??," ?lid Mr. Van Dyne re.issur
The passenger* embarked upon the
lugger with murmurs oF, "Dear me!
how hor rid !" "I wouldn't have come
if I'd known this," eto.
It was durk, very dark, with only
the glimmer of the lantern at the
boat's hsad to light their progress.
Two mer. marched up and down on
the thwarts, poling the boat along
through the shoal water; and the
passengers shuddered as they heard
the cry, "Hard off! hard ofi!"~for
they knew they were about to stick in
the mud. Three times they stuck,
and meanwhile the mosquitoes bit
"Even you, papa, must admit that
this is a poor beginning," said Janet ;
bat Mr. Dale only groaned and gave a
vicious slap at an invisible but very
audible s'varm of mosquitoes.
At last they reached the wharf and
disembarked with some difficulty, but
it was so dark that Janet began to fol
low a striy mule, uader the impres
sion that it was her father. She was
rescued fiom this vaiu pursnit by Phil,
who declared that her misnpprehen
.iic 9 watt very nntilia).
"How dreadful it ail as/' she said,
"bat at any rate it's something to b
on dry land once more."
The next morning, however, unde
a bright hine sky, tho island pat 01
its prettiest face and Janet could no
help being pleased with it. The fresh
ly painted cottages beneath the row
of trees looked very attractive, am
the old sogar house, whioh did dat;
as a ball room, gave promise of pleas
are to come.
The days passed lazily and pleasant
ly, for a stiff breeze had swept awa;
the mosqaitoes, and the air wa
like a daught from the Fountain o
Mr. Van Dyne was his own charm
ing self, and Janet could not help ow
ing that there wa9 something verj
winning also in Phil's good spirits
though she was repelled by some o
the sentiments he uttered.
"He must have a hard, selfish streal
in him," she thought, for she was stil
young enough to judge people by thei:
Bat presently the bright weathei
began to break ap, and on the day sel
for an excursion to tbs neighboring
lighthouse, the sky looked so threat
ening that Mr. Dale would not allovs
Janet to go with the party.
"Those long wisps of ?louds meai
wind," be said.
Janet felt inclined to pout as the ga]
party, headed by Phil, set forth 01
their quest of pleasure.
Darker and darker grew the sky
and toward afternoon it began to raie
in gusts, and the wind piped shrilly
Some anxiety was felton behalf of th<
absent ones, and Janet joined a group
of watchers on the dining room gal
lery. Presently the logger appeared,
her sail sometimes almost flat upoi
tho water as a fierce gust made her oa
reen ; but at last she battled her waj
to the whorl.
"What, are you among tho watch
ers?" said Phil to Janet.
"We feared you might have como t<
harm," she replied.
"You feared for me?" he questioned
eagerly and wistfully.
"You, who believe in the duty o
being selfish, can hardly imagine, '.
suppose, that one may fee!, interestec
in the safety of a fellow-being," shi
retorted, taming away from him anc
leaving him rebuffed and baffled.
All the next day the rain fell in tor
rents,, and the wind raged. Jane
slept little when night came, for thc
dark was full of strange noises.
Toward daylight she aros a and went
to the window. As far as the eye
could see the island was covered with
water. It had risen level with thc
gallery floor, and was gargling ani
gulping under the house. Still the
wind howled and the rain deluged thc
earth. A terrified flool: of cows
stampeded through the wat ?ur on theil
way to tho high groands ot the ridge.
Presently a rocking chair uame bob
bing along on the flood; then a wheel
barrow ; then a chicken coop ; then s
barrel. Janet looked across tho road
toward one of the cottages and saw thc
water flowing in at the front door,
under the bed, and out of the baos
door. She gave a little shiver as she
turned away, and went to knock al
her father's door.
"Get up, papal" she cried, "every
thing is under water."
Mr. Dale, after splashing forth, on a
hasty tour of investigation, found that
mos; of the cottagers had airea i j ad
journed to tho "ball room"-thal
being considered the safest place.
Phil was going around in a skiff tc
carry them thither ; trying to revive
their drooping spirits with the theory
that the whole thing was a great lark.
"This will bo something to talk
about next winter," he said, as he
helped Janet into the skip. "If evei
you get short of Fubjectsfor conversa
tion, you can always fall back on your
"Yes-if wo live to tell tho talo,'
Up at the ballroom they found ?
dismal enough o::owd. One stoat Ger
m?n lady shook her head automati
cally, and ejaculated at intervals.
"We'll never see our happy homet
again!" The children were fretful,
and their terrified mothers seemed tc
have lost the art of soothing them.
Phil made a heroio effort to cheer them
np-played with the children, joked
with the old folks and induced some
of tho younger'ones to gather around
the piano and sing ; but after all it woe
a fictitious gaye ty he stimulated, and
it soon flickered down again. There
was something too alarming to be
ignored in the fn rv of the elements
the rising water, tho never ceasing
wind and rain. Janet notioed with
some surprise that Mr. Van Dyne was
gloomy, and even snappish. He ans
wered shortly when spoken to, and
seemed more concerned about his own
comfort than aoything else. He
secured one of tho few armchairs, and
ensconcing himself in it, relapsed into
And still, as dark drew on, the storm
increased, wieh lashing ram and
screeching wind, und, above all other
soundR, the great hoarse roar of tho
breakers. Phil and some of the other
men made what provision they could
for the comfort; of the women- and
children ; but Mr. Van Dyne made no
move to givo up his easy chair. Pres
ently thero were people asleep on the
tables and benches-somo even hud
dled upon the floor.
"It looks now like a tramps' lodging
house," remarked Phil to Janet.
She turned and looked at him. "We
are in great danger, are not we?" she
asked. "I heard Captain Sanders say
we may expect the worat, if the wind
"Well, it hasn't veered yet, he ans
"13ut it may."
"Ye?, it may. I will tell you the
troth, because you have courage to
hear it. We are iu great peril, and
. heaven knows how it will end."
There was silence between them for
a momeot, and then ho took her cold
hand in his.
"Janet," he said, "I must tell you
-even bereaod ito?'-how much I love
you ; even if yon c innot love me, it
! easrs my heart to tell yon-"
"?ut I do, Phil,"'she answered,
I looking ap with her frank hluo eyes,
j The truth i?, I wa? afraid to let myself
love yon until I learned, through this
storr?, how kind and good and unsel
fish yon really are. Yon need tr say
sn oh hard things, but now I se? yon
are one of those who practice but do
And so they sat, side by side, hand
in hand, happy in spite of their peri]
-happy, as romantic youth can be,
even in the thought of dying together.
Bat no such poetis climax was pos
sible. The storm subsided gradually,
the waters began to recede, and as tho
two watched, with tired eyes, the oom
ing of dawn, they knew that fate had
spared them for life and love.-New
WORDS OF WISDOM.
Trath loves to be looked in the face.
A sunbeam in the heart is bound to
light the face.
One who boasts of lr s honesty will
Fine sense is not half so useful as
A covetous rich man may be said to
freeze before the fire.
He that wants the earth will be sure
to get it when he dies.
A boy all his life is the object of
some one's suspicions.
There is nothing in mourning a loss
that cannot be restored.
Many a supposed giant has turned
out to bs only a shadow.
Love never has to be watched to see
that it does honest work.
Arguments are like bones with dogs.
They set men together by the ears.
One ponnd of learning' requires ten
pounds of oommon sense to apply it.
Somehow people always applaud
singing, whether it is deserved or not.
It is easier to be brave in time of
danger than patient under suffering.
Do good for your own satisfaction,
and have no care of what; may follow.
An ass covered with go kl is more re
peated than a horse with a pack-sad
Better than he who wipes away a
tear is he who prevents it from start
He that speaks me fair and loves me
not, I'll speak him fair and trust him
A sinoere confession of ignorance is
one of the surest testimonies of judg
Families with babies and families
without babies are so sorry for each
There is only, one sure cure for
sleeplessness, and that is going to
The brightest intellects explain
their thoughts in the simplest lan
We admire a mean man who gets
out of town and does not try "to live
Many people haye so muoh business
on hand that they never accomplish
Sentiment costs more in dollars and
cents than any other foolish feeling in
A civil question always demands an
answer, but yon will find some who
will only'spare a growl.-The South
west. _ _
When. English and Boera Fought
In tha earlier encounters between
British and Dutch at the Cape, the
British invariably had the victory. In
1795 and 1805 at the battles of Muiz
enberg and Blaauwberg, on eao]i of
the occasions when the .British forces
took possession of the Cape, onr troops
had easily tho best of it. It can hardly
be said, however, that the back coun
try farmers had much to do with these
affairs. The battle of Blaauwberg,
thanks to whioh the English became
finally masters of the Cape, was a very
hot affair. The Dutoh fought bravely
and lost 700 men dead and wounded.
The British, under General Sir David
Baird, suffered to the extent of 212
dead, wounded, and missing. Between
1806 and 1848 there were various
small risings and insurrections in the
eastern part of Cape Colony, in which
however, the Dutch were invariably
worsted. When we remember Presi
dent Kruger's clemency to Dr. Jame*
son and his followers after the recent
raid, we can scarcely plnme ourselves
on our own deeds in similar emergen
In 1815 a small rising among the
Boers of the Eastern Province was
punished with extreme severity. Hen
drik Prinsloo, Stephanns Botman,
Cornelis Faber, Theunis de Klerk,
Abraham Botman, and J. Kruger, were
all sentenced to death as ringleaders.
Of these, Kruger, no doubt a distant
connection of the present Transvaal
President, escaped with transporta
tion for life. The remaining; five were
ignominiously hanged in the presence
of a great conoourse of friends and re
latives. The gallows broke down un
der the weight of these unfortunates
they were all turned off together-and
a long delay occurred. The ro was a
terrible scene, which one shudders to
think of even now. The poor half
hanged men as they sic wly recovero J,
crawled to the feet of the command
ing officer, and begged for -mercy.
Their prayers were aided by the .bit
ter cries and tears of tue multitude
standing around. But there was no
mercy for them. Just be for o sunset
these nnhappy Boers were hanged
again, this time effectually enough.
The neck between the hills, where this
soene took plaoe, is still well known
in Cape Colony as "Slaghters Neck"
(slaughter neck ;) and one of the big
gest grudges that the Boers still cherish
against the British is due to the undy
ing memory of that dreadful day.
Tho Largest American Mule.
The largest mule that ever walked
on Amerioan soil is now, or was re
cently, the property of one George H.
Johnson, a farmer living a few miles
east of Honey Grove, Texan. His
mulesbip is exaotly 18J hands, br 6
feet 2 inohds in height, being exaotly
7f inches higher than the lamons Los
Pecos (Old Mexico) mule, whioh was
so widely advertised iu 1890-91 as
being "the most gigantic specimen of
the mule family the world has ever
known." The Honey Grove mule is
not slim and raw-boned, but is built
in proportion to his height, weighing
1619 pounds.-St. Louis Repu bbc
Odd Place for a Needle.
The Hope (Idaho) Examiner says
that the little child of Mr. and Mrs.
Mnlvihill got a needle in its hip by
some means a few weeks ago, but as it
was not paint ni they conoluded to wait
till they came to Hope and then have
it removed. The needle soon disap
peared, and one day this week made
its appearance in the child's knee,
working its way partially out through
the liesa, so tnat Mr. Su son waa. able
to remove it with a pair of nippers.
A prisoner in a California jail out
off three lingers with a hatchet in ar
tier to avoid work,
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
The Girl He Adored-A Commercial
Outrace - Entrapped'- Not Im
possible - Unintentional-Be
Somebody, Etc., Etc.,
"There's only one girl In this world for
Is the song he was oft heard to holler;
And, come to And ont, the ono he adored
Was the girl on the almighty dollar.
He-"I am told that your admir
ers' name is legion. "
, She (blushing)-"Oh, no, indeed
his name is Jones. "-Brooklyn Life.
"Oh, everything goes against me!
I've played the game out."
"Tut, tnt, old man! Cheer np
Borrow some money and he some
A PROMPT DENIAI*
Schoolmaster-"Now, thou, who
signed Magna Charta? Come, be
quick ; who signed Magna Charta?"
Boy-"Please, sir - boo-oo-oo-I
A COMMERCIAL OUTR AGB.
"Is your new type writer girl
. "Clever? She's a blamed sight too
olever. She ean spell better than I
Customer (entering poultry shop)
"I should like to see a nice, fat
"Small Boy-Yes, sir. Father will
be down direotly."-Boston Post.
Excited Traveler-"Can't I catch
the four o'clock express for Buffalo ?"
Bailroad Official (calmly) - "That
depends upon how fast you can run.
It started three minutes ago."-Puck.
A FORTUNE FOB SOMEBODY.
Dazlin-"Look out for these;
fchoy'ro triok matches."
Blazlow-"In what way?"
Dazlin-"They light the first time
you" scratch them."-Boxbury Ga
HAS X BAYS, PERHAPS.
Miss Passee-"I assure you I do not
wear those glasses because I need
them ; I can see tc read tho finest
Giddy Girl-"How remarkablo!
Second sight, isn't it?"-Detroit Free
Counsel-"Did you observe any
thing particular about the prisoner?"
Witness-"Yes; his whiskers."
Counsel-"What did you observo
with reference to his whiskers?"
Witness-"That he had none."
NOTHING NEW TO HEB.
Mrs. Jones-"That Mrs. Tucker
next door must be an awful gossip."
Mr. Jones-"Why, what's the row
Mrs. Jones-"Oh, nothing in parti
cular, but I never can tell her any
thing bat what she's heard it before."
AN EXPERT STATEMENT.
"Is there any sure way of knowing
when a man is meaning to propose?"
asked the bud.
"You needn't worry about that,"
said the belle. "The knowledge comes
by nature. The most im poi tant thing
is to know when he isn't going to."
Mra Bigwad-"It must be terribly
embarrassing to bo as poor as they
are; they never give anything to
Mr. Bigwad-"But wo don't,
Mrs. Bigwad-"Well, they can't say
that it is because we haven't got it to
Excited Gent-"You go to Jericho
with your paper !"
Editor (who is used to it)-"What's
Excited Gent-"You stated the day
before yesterday that a thief had en
tered my room, broken opan my desk
and stolen a sum of money, but that,
fortunately, he had overlooked the
gold watch which usually lies in the
Editor-"Well, I believe tho facts
are stated correctly."
Exoited Gent - "They're correct
enough. But what is the result? That
infamous man comes again last night
and fetches the watch."-London Tele
A STUDY TN FEMININITY.
See the young woman at the railway
She is waiting to meet relatives who
are' coming on the train.
See her rush eagerly to meet thom.
They have come.
They are her dear cousins.
Fifth or sixth cousins.
See tho haste with which she runs to
kiss Cousin Arabella.
She doesn't lose an instant.
But she is not in such a hurry to
kiss Cousin Jack.
When she see3 him approaching she
does not hasten.
She seems almost provoked because
he wants to kiss her.
She keeps him waiting while
She lifts her veil.-Chicago Tri
A Sew Li fe-Boat.
Anything that bears upon life sav
ing at eea is of great interest to hu
mane persons. There have been many
inventions in the way of life-boats,
but most of them have many objec
tions, and some have proven them
selves in emergencies entirely worth
less. A new boat is divided into two
lengthwise sections. There are water
tight compartments which are filled
with air-tight metallic tanks. These
are fastened to the floor of the boat,
and are intended as receptacles for
provisions, water, clothing and the
like, and in cases of emergency,
ammunition. It makes not the slight
est difference how the boat comes in
oontaot with the water-whether she
be pitched in headforemost or dropped
backwards or sidewise-as she rights
herself almost instantly and is pr nc ti
nnily non-sinkable. The tanks for
food assist in keeping her afloat, as, if
properly used, they alone would keep
the boat from swamping.
Those who have studied the build of
this boat declare it the most sensible
and praotical article of it* kind that
has as yet been produced,-New York
1 WITH MAGGIE AT THE h ARS)
Thia ls truth-aa we grow older, and go
farther from the times
When the days were formed In measure, and
tho nights were writ in rhymes,
We grow fonder of the old things-for, in
that romantic age,
All our living was a poem, printed on a
And the sweetest lyric written was at eve be
neath the stars,
Long ago, there at the farmstead, with sweet
Slaggio at tho bars.
I have had somewhat of pleasure from a
worldly point of view.
I have mot with kindly bosom?, with their
hearts pulsating true;
But. somehow, tho woods and meadows
have no flowera quite as fair
As (?ey bloomed when ? was younger, in tho
While the moons are not as tender, and not
quito so bright tho star?,
As they shone when we were trysting-I aut!
Maggie at tho bars;
-Will T. Hale.
PITH AND POINT.
Love's young dream often goss by
A good many of the people who
danes contrive to owe the piper.
Thc world may owo us a living, but
it isn't easy to hypothecate the claim.
If a man does not know when ho is
beaten, some kind friend is pretty sure
tb tell him.-PUCK.
More loss of sleep has been caused
by defective stomachs than by guilty
To write an epigram all you have to
do is to think up something mean in
two line3 and niako it rhyme.-Texas
Jinks-"Would you call Brobson a
fool?" Filkins-"Well, hardly ; but
I think hu knows the least on the most
subjects of any man of my acquaint
Poetry Fed: She (sentimentally)
"What poetry there is in fire !" flo
(sadly)-"Yes; a groat deal of my
pretty poetry has gone there."
How He Found Them : Jimmy the
Con-"How are you finding things
these hard times?" Mike, the Porch
climber-"Easy. Been using the X
"How large were the diamonds?"
asked the press agent, pausing in the
writing of the account for publication.
"About as large aa chestnuts," con
fessed tho actress, unwittingly.-In
Winterbloom-"Don't you think
?200 is rather high for a tailor-made
gown? Von Blumer tells nie his wife
paid only $150.11 Mrs. "Winterbloom
-"True, my dear, but she got hers
before I got mine."-Harlem Life.
Game Warden-"Look here. Don't
you know that you can't shoot deer
just now!" Proud Amateur Sports
man-r"Can't I? (pointing to ft fine
dead buck). Look at that and see
whether I oan't."-Boston Courier.
Proud Pop (to old bachelor friend)
-"I tell you, Dawson, there's no baby
like my baby." Dawson-"I'm glad
you've waked up to that fact. I knew
mighty well there never was a baby
like the one you desired."-Harper's
"What a nasty smell burned powder
has!" said Johnny. "Powder?" ex
claimed his elder sister, Miss Maud,
looking up. "Why, it hasn't any
sm-ob, you mean, gunpowder!" And
she turned a lovely, creamy shade of
verni il! ion and became absorbed in
her fashion magazine again. -Chicago
OJd Koala Bear of Australia.
A firm in Loudon, acting as special
agent for Australian wines, publishes
a striking advertisement representing
a koala or Australian tree bear, with a
cub upon her back. The firm, which
is one of thirty years' standing, an
nounces that it has in its possession
the only specimen of a tree bear in
The koala is an interesting animal,
not because it helps to serve an Eng
lish wine merchant to advertise his
wares, but from the standpoint of the
zoologist. Tho koala is a marsupial
Phalaogistidae, resembling tho pha
langers in dentition, but possessing
much larger molar teeth. The koala
has hardly thc ru liment of a tail. It
resembles a small bear. Its scientific
name comes from two Greek words
meaning respectively a pouch and a
bear. Its forefeet have five toes, two
of which are opposed to the other
three. This peculiarity does not ex
tend to the hind limbs.
In speaking of the koala an author
ity says that the animal "live3 'imcB
on trees." The hasty reader should
not infer from this that tue koala de
vours trees in its efforts to sustain life.
The idea meant to be conveyed is that
the tree bear spends a large part of its
life in the branches of the Australian
trees. [The name koala is of Australian
origin, and seems to be an effort to put
into one word the peculiar .sonnda ut
tered by the tree bear. As an adver
tising feature tho koala how leading a
lonely lifo with her cab in London is
a thorough success. Many people who
are not interested in Australian wines
have visited the tree bear.-New York
Life of a Caution.
La Nature contains a short note in
which the horse power of a cannon is
calculated. An Italian cannon of one
hundred tons, with a charge of 550
pounds of powder and a shot weighing
about two thousand pounds, will give
an initial velooity of 253 meters pbr
second; the length of time during
which the powder acts is less than one
hundredth of a second, from which il;
follows that the horse power developeo.
is about seventeen million. The writer
adds that after about one hundred
shots the cannon is put out of service,
and its total active life is therefore
only ono second! In large modern
canuon the horse power mus as hi^h
as twenty-four million. If the writer
had carried out those calculations still
farther, he would have found that,
after all, this 24,000,000-horse power
does not represent a large amount of
energy, as it would be just sufficient
to run thirty-one incandescent lamps
for only one day.
The story is told of a famous mathe
matician that he was frequently guilty
during his courtship of walking the
greater part of a mile with the young
lady of his choice without speaking.
One evening she took advantage of
his absentmindedness to play him a
trick. She slipped her hand from his
arm an 1 hurried home a nearer way.
He continued to hold his arm in the
Hams position, walked up the steps of
her father's house, and raug tho bell,
when, to his astonishment, she her
self opened the door. Ho starte i in
an incredulous manner aird exclaimed,
"Why, S-, how in the world did yon
get on that sido of the door?"
MODERN BIO THINGS.
One of the largest checks ever drawn
in this country was $16,000,000 by
President Soberts,of the Pennsylvania
railroad, in payment of 200,000 shares
of Philadelphia, Wilmington & Haiti
more railroad ?took.
The pavement in front of William
H. Vanderbilt's residence in New York
oity cost over $40,000. The single
stone lying direotly in front is th?
largest known paving stone, and cost,
transportation and all, $9,000.
The largest bronze casting ever made
in America is the buffalo's head, which
hangs at the eastern entra ace of the
Union Pacific bridge between Omaha
and Council Bluffs,
The largest statue in the United
States is Bartholdi's "Liberty En
lightening the World," which stands
on Bedloe island, New York harbor.
The statue alone, without base or
pedestal, weighs 400,000 pounds.
The highest building in the world,
monuments and towers not consider
ed, is the Cologne cathedral. The
heighth of this building from the
pavement to the copper tip on the
spire is 511 feet.
The 5,000-horsepower pumping en
gine in the mines at Friedensville,
Pa., raises 17,500 gallons ok' water at
each revolution of its gigantic fly
wheel.-St. Louis Republic.
The great hammer at the Woolwich
gun works, Woolwich, Eng., weigh?
forty tons, and its drop is a sheer fall
of forty-four feet threo inches.
"Maw,"said the little boy, "Johnny
is such a mugwump that I don't want
to sleep with him any more."
"Yes, mamma. . Didn't you tell me
that a mugwump was come one who
would not take either side? And that's
tho way with John Dy. Ho always wants
to sleep in the middle of the bed."
Didn't Need lt
"I have here," said the agent, "a
little book that will show you how to
be your own lawyer."
"Et it would show me how to be
somebody's else's lawyer,".said the
man with the black beard that was
gray at the roots, "I might buy it.
But what is the use fer a man to learn
bow to rob hisself?"-Indianapolis
How to Remove a Fixed Ring,
When a ring ii fixed on the finge*
From the swelling of the skin or joint, '
rab the finger with ?oap and cold k
irater, and it will then generally ad?
mit of its removal. If this fails, take
a strong thread or piece ot fine twine,
and, beginning at the end of the fin?
ger, wind it regularly around and
around it, with the coils dose to?
gather, till the ring is reaohed; then
slip the end through the ring from the
sido next to the end of the finger, and
begin to unwind the string, whiob, aa
it progresses, carries the ring with it.
Sometimes, however, when the finger
is very much swollen, and when the
ring is deeply embedded, even this
plan will not succeed, and the only
resource ia to cut through the ring
with a pair of cutting pliers, first slip
ping under it a thin piece of metal or
cardboard to protect the skin.
Needs assistance it may be beat to render lt
promptly, but one should remember to u?
even toe most perfect remedies only whoa
needed. The best and most simple and gentle
remedy is the Syrup of Figs, manufactured by
toe California Fis Syrup Company.
Since the commencement of the present
year over 11.500 doss have been taken to the
London Battersea Dogs1 Home.
Floating-Borax ts now the only pur? floating
soap nude. Be ?ure Dobbins' Soap Mi'jf Co.,
I'hill., ls on every wrapper and cake. Ask
four iTOcer for lt. Bed wrappers. Ko chapped
hands with Dobbins' Float in?-Borax.
Micbipan produces '?no fifth of the Iron of
his country, mi nine 9.000,000 ?ons a year.
Gold Dollar fl! onnmen*.
"It is due you and a pleasure for me to reo?
ommend your TETTERINC. Truly, it ls an in?
fallible remedy and cure for tetter. My wl:?
hid been annoyed by came for about twelve
years, and after using the TETTEBINK for Ave
days it disappeared entirely, to her great re
lief. She is ready to s ng your praise, and I
em prepared to contribute my cold dollar In
erecting a monument to your name."
Yours, etc, A. M. KAYWOOD.
To J. T. SHUPTRIXC Savannah, Ga?
1 box by mall for Wo. in stamps.
M. I*. Thompson A Co., Druggists, Couders
port, hu, say Hall's Catarrh Cure ls the best
and only ?ure our? for catarrh they ever sold.
Druggists sell lt, 75c._
Plso's Caro i? the medicine to break npchil
dren's Coughs an?! Cold*.-Mrs. M. G. BLUKT,
Sprague, Waih., Mnrch 8, *9i.
FITS ?toppeil free by Du, KLIIU'S OHE AT
N'ERVB RESTORER. VO Ats after fl r?t dav's u<*.
Marvelous CUMS. Treatise and S2.00 trial bot
tle free. Dr. Kline. 931 Arch St.. Phlla.. Pa.
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
teething, softens the gums, redness inilammx
tion. a-.lays rydn.cures wind colic. 25c. a bottle.
If afflicted wltii sore eye* use Dr. Isaac Thomp
son's Eve-wate r.Drneuists aol I at '.IV per bottle.
ASK FOR THE BEST AND YOU'LL
ASK FOR AYER S AND YOU'LL GET
The remedy with a record :
? ....50 years of cures.
The many imitations of
HIRES Rootbeer simply
point to its excellence;-the
genuine article proves it
Uade ont/ BJ Tb? Cbtrlti B. niru Co., PblUdelpbla. ;
A lie. ; .ck?i? mik?? i filloa?. Sold ewjirhef?.
Mr. Charles Austin Bates, the fa
mous advertlaing writer, makes a
specialty of medical advertisements.
He has studied medicino And baa a
habit of analyzing the ingredients ol
every medicine about which he ls
asked to write, refusing to write
advertisements for medicines which
he cannot indorse. Ho says of
Ripens Tabales: "I had the formula
a;.d wont through it from tho
ground np. I found that evory ona
of the ingredients was put In for
Bomo special purpose, and was good
for tho pnrpcsu intended. I have as
much confldeaoo In Bipans Ta jules
as I havo in anything I ever wrote
about. I take them myself when I
bare eaten a Ultle too much or feel
nausea or symptoms of headache
coming on, and I And them quicker
to act than any medicine I over
took. I know some peoplo who
think they can't possibly get along
without them. Hy wife went to
call one day on some friends she had
kn own al ways. She found they
swore by Bipans Tabules. They did
not know that she knew anything
about thom or that I had written
anything for them. By the way, lt
- you swallow them properly, you
don't taste anything in the mooth*
Swallow them quickly and yon are
all right Iou can feel their action
In tho stomach almost immediately)
a very pleasant sensation."
H ?pans Tabules are sold by druggists, or by
mail it the price (60 cents a box) is Kent to The
Kipnns Chemical Companr, No. 10 Spruce St-,
New York. Sample vial. 10 cents.
I"* For yourself and your Stock. Good
*n for man and beast. Finest Nerve
_kand Bone Liniment made. Cures
I rash LUIS, wounds bruises, eores, rheumatism
and pains of all kinds. Sold by all medicine
dealers Price, '?6and 6C cents. Get Cuban
Relief for summer complaint. Manufac
ture d only by the New Spencer Medicine
Co., CHATTANOOGA, Tass.
tau COIN MONK? selling NU? HT
INGAI.U TOV WHISTLE.*.*.*.
- . Just out. Sells at sight. Kample, etc.. 6 cents.
Superior Wire Mat Co., Heaver Falls, Pa.
History for Ready Reference
and Topical Reading.
By J. N. LARNED. Ex-Prei. Am. Library A ts'm.
tyOlvlni: History on All Topics In the Exact
Words ol the Historians Themselve?. Not th?
opinion of one man, but thc thoughts cf many
men have been diligently sought out and ar?
ranged for tba Ready Reference of thc Reader.
In every respect a valuablo publication.
J. G. CARLISLE, Sec. of the Treasury.
A valuable work.
W. L. WILSON, Postmaster General.
I have found this work very useful and aL,
wars keep it near at hand.
JUDSON HARMON, Attorney General.
I believe it will provo one of thc most vain,
able reference books in existence.
DB. JOHN FISKE, Historian.
Where tho dictionary coes this History
should go. RT. REV. JOHN H. VINCENT, D.D.
I cannot now estimate the value of the tim*
I have lost for the want of such a guide and
helper. REV. HOSES D. H?GE, D.D., LL.D.
Sold only bf subscription. Stnd for Circular.
CHAS. L. VAN NOPPEN, General Agent,
128 Corcoran Building, Washington.D.C.
to M ?lavy?. RapaytUl?..,
is a vigorous feeder and re
sponds well to liberal fertiliza
tion. ? On corn lands the yield
increases and the soil improves
if properly treated with, fer
tilizers containing not under
A trial of this plan costs but
little and is sure to lead to
Our pamphlets are not advertising circulais boom,
ing special fertilisers, but are practical works, contain
ing latest researches on the subject of fertilization, and
are really helpful to farmers. They are kent free foi
GERMAN KALI WORKS,
03 Nassau St., New York.
nDIIIU&nd WHISKY habits cured. Book ?rat
Ir I Um nuts. Dr. a ?. noouxr. ?TLUTA. ?A.
a. N. D.Tiriniy, '90.