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OLDEST BOAT Kf?OWN.
Small Craft la Use 4,500 Years Ago
Added to a Museum.
There is ia Chicago one of the five
oldest small boats known to exist in
the world. , It bas jost come, all
packed ar.d staid for its long voyage
from the Gizeh Museum of Antiquities
at Cairo. To the generosity of Mrs.
Cyrus McCormick the Field Colum
bian Museum is indebted for a rare
gift. E. E. Ayer learned in the course
of hit search for interesting things in
Cairo last winter, that there had been
placed in the Gizeh museum three
boats of marvelous age and curious
design. Investigation proved that
thc boats were indeed of the rarest
value, for never before in arohaslogi
oal history have there been discovered
anything of the kind which approached
these boats in age and interest. A
viking eraf t found in Norway sometime
ago was in use about the year 1000,
A? D., and at onoe became famous as
by far the oldest specimen of water
craft iu existence. Tho boats in the
Gizeh museum, it was decided by the
learned ones, wera used at least 4,500
years ago and were contemporaneous
with the Dashnr pyramids of the
eleventh Egyptian dynasty.-Chicago
Aa Instantaneous Portrait.
"I am tired to death," deolared Mrs.
Younghusband, as she reached home
from town the other evening.
"What's the matter?" asked her hus
"Been having baby's portrait taken.
They have a way of taking them in
stantaneously now, you know."
."flow long were you at it ?"
-"Three Lour i and a half."- Comic
No Tint Slioa'd be Lost
By tho*? troubled with constipation In keek
ing relief from Hostftter's Stomach Bitters,
lae disease is easily re ie v. d in its earlier
stage, and as it is utterly subversive of the
grcneral health, postjonement of the remedy
ls umrife. The ?ame holds good of delay in
rasen of fever and ?Rue. kidney compl.ilnts,
nervousness, debility and rlieumali-m. ail
meals to which tho bitters is particularly
"When love of money is the ecpreme passion
of life, thea it is a positive anns**.
Dobbins' Floating-Doms So ip is the only
floating soap that com nins Borax For toilet
or laundry uso it i s Incomparable A perfect
?oap for all uses. Try it once. You'll ase it
always. Order of your grocer. Ked wrapper.
Wo would not find much time to speak of
others' faults it wo would bo as careful to
Kure* out our own.
? Peela MI Cannot ba Cured
by local applications, M they cannot reach the
diseased portion of the earX lhere is only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by constitu
tt'wml remedies. Deafness is caused by an in
flamed condition of the mucous lining of the
Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in
flamed you bare a rumbling sound or imper
fect hearing, and when it is entirely closed
Deaf neds is the result, anti unless the inflam
mation eau be taken out and this tube re
stored to Ita normal condition, hearing will be
destroyed forever. Nine cases out of ten are
caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an in
flamed condition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness (caused iry catarrh) that can
not be cured by Hail's Catarrh Cure. Send for
_ F. J. Cnnirtv & Cow, Toledo, 0.
Sold by Druggists. 75 ..
Hali's Family Pi.ls are the beit.
Mrs. Winslow's SoothI iu Syrup tor children
teething.softens the cums, reduces inflammv
Uso, allays pain.cu res wind colic. 'J5c. a bottle.
WHEN bilious or costive, eat a Cascaret,
randy cathartic, cure guaranteed, 10c., 25c
Oars ot your health at this season. See that
your blood ls pure, appetite good aad al lt he
organs in a healthy condition. Hood's Sarsn
parilia ts the great building-up and blood
purifying medicine and therefore it is the
best medicine to take In the fall, when' the
atmosphere is laden with disease germs from
decaying vegetation. Hood's Sarsaparilla
prevents colds, pneumonia, bronchitis, fevers.
!. the beat-In fact the One True Blood Pu r i fl er
?AAJtA BIIIA the beat family cathartic
ROG M S rlllS and liver stimulant :5c
Home-Made Polishing Cloths.
Polishing cloth?, such as jewelers
use, are warranted to keep silver in
brilliant condition without the disad
vantage of a periodical upheaval of
the p?ate closet. They prevent, more
over, the scratching which thc applica
tion of powders to the metal usually
produce. To make them, boil soft
rags in a mixture of fresh milk and
hartshorn powder, and ounce of pow
der being used to a pint of tho milk.
When they have boiled for five min
utes they should be hastily passed
through cold water, so that they will
be cool enough to wring ont and dry
before the fire. After the silver is
washed and dried each day, it should
be polished with a cloth prepared in
Jost Like Her.
He-che asked me what oolor of
hair I liked.
She-That's like Maude; she's al
ways so anxious to please.-Puck.
Would Please Him Immensely.
Wife-What would yon do if I staid
out every night until midnight ?
Hubby-Jove, I'd stay at home.
BEA\E SPIRITS BROKEN
How often women wake up in the
morning cheerful and happy, deter
mined to do so much before the day
ends, and yet:
Before the morn
ing is very old, the
the brave spirit
sinks back in
hard she strug
upon her, .
should I suf
What can I
will stop the
torture an-g} L*
All such pains come from a deranged
uterus. Trouble in the womb blots
ont the light of the san at midday to
a vast number of women.
Bc advised-do as many others have
done and are doing-procure Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound at
once, and commence without delay to
realize the rel ief it is su re to bring you,
? Qr MT to ??ll Lett nee Cream and Townee
RpCfl i Crean Span to consumer. Quick
M teUar. IUBSBALCOXXIMIOX. Send 96c. in stamps
ie* samples. L*TZVCXC%IAXQQ?M Mb Ave. N.Y.
S this story traveled
in a roundabout way
it may have been
elaborated and built
up before it came to
hand, but the facts,
RS nearly as they can
be learned, are about
Mr. Melton, a young man interested
in the lumber trade, traveled on a
suburban train one Friday night to
attend the weekly dance at the asylum
fer the insane.
Mr. Melton is constantly longing
for "experiences." He would rather
look at an opium joint than a dona
tion party, and would rather go slum
ming tun attend a Sunday-school pic
nic The ball at the insane asylum
appealed to his love lor the pictur
esque Lowry, the politician, had
premised to take him out, and Melton
haa not allowed him to forget the
Lowry came aboard the train at one
of the stations on the way out, and
the two were warmly welcomed when
they arrived at the asylum, for this
Lowry was a coinpaiiioaablo man of
As Melton stood in the doorway of
the ballroom and glanced at the rows
of well-behaved and rather abashed
people against the wall, he could
hardly believe that he was so different
from the others. He reflected that if
he were to arise some morning and
tell the other boarders that he was the
Emperor of China and had more money
than he could use, he might become
one of this company,
Except that many of them were
pale and melancholy and a few
of them were heavy-eyed, intent
on studying the floor, tho assemblage
would have compared favorably with
any chance gathering of respectable
He knew, of coarse, that the violent
patients or those totally demented
were not allowed at the ball. The
company was made np of convales
cents orthose whose vision was merely
twisted so that they could not see
things in their proper relation. Some
of the younger men had attired them
selves with particular care and wore
buttonhole bouquets. Many of the
women', too, bore tho outward signs
of gayety. Melton was rather disap
pointed. He had wanted to witness
"I want you to dance this evening,"
said Superintendent Lucas, standing
at his elbow. "One trouble with the
visitors is that they stand around and
stare at the patients as if they were a
lot of freaks. Now, these people are
sot dangerous. You needn't believe
, everything they tell you ; but if you
mix. up with them and. are friendly
you'll find them very easy to get along
with. Come on, I'll introduce you to
some of them."
The little orchestra was turning up,
and a patient who had been installed
as floor manager was giving a correct
imitation cf a sane man who had been
thrown under the same trying respon
Melton -.uJ attended many evening
parties, but he felt a new embarrass
ment as he passed along a line of de
mure women patients, and bowed to
eaoh of them in turn. He shook hands
with several of the men and then
baoked up to the wall to watch the
opening. The superintendent stand
ing beside him, said :
. "Oh, bv the way, you must meet
He beckoned to a young woman
who was talking to the leader of the
orchestra, and as she came aoross the
room Melton whistled to himself and
"Here's a case of blighted love, and
abe's not over twenty."
"Miss Caldwell, I want to present
Mr. Melton," said the superintendent.
"He's rather bashful in company,
but perhaps you can entertain him.
Now I'll go and look after Lowry."
Melton found himself staring at a
very pretty girl, who returned his
Raze in half frightened manner.
His head buzzed, and he never be
fore was so mnoh in want of a topic.
How was he to begin a conversation
with a young woman who might
fancy him to bo the prince who had
come to rescue her from the tower ?
"Do you dance?" he asked in sud
She gave a start, and he imagined
that she shrunk back a little.
v "I'd rather not," said she timidly.
. "Well, then, let's sit over hero in
the corner and watoh the others. "
They found an out-of-the-way
place, and Melton, who had recov
ered a little, remembered the instruc
tions given him by the superintend
"These danoes are very pleasant lit
tle affaire," said he. "They seemed
to be attended by an agreeable lot of
"I think it's a good idea to have
them," said she. "You know most of
these people, of course."
"I've met a number of them," he
.Ton like Mr. Lucas, don't you?"
"Very well, indeed. Nice fellow."
"Ho didn't tell you,- did he, that I
was a cousin of his?"
Mr. Melton began to suspect the
nature of her delusion. He resolved
to be diplomatic
"Oh yes. I knew that," he said.
"So you're a cousin of Mr. Lucas?"
"Yes, I'm hore- visiting him. I've
been here abo at two weeks. Mrs.
Lucas is so good to all tho-people
here, isn't she?"
"Yes, indeod. She's very consider
Melton now understood the situa
tion. This girl did not know that she
was in an asylum. They had told her
that she was a visitor.
"It's a nice place to come to visit,"
said he. "1 came out here with a
friend of mine, a gentleman named
Lowry. I live in Chicago."
"Ob, yes. Well, I'm eure yon'll
like ii out here. "
"I'm sorry I can't etay longer. Tm
going baok to town to-night on the
"Going away to-night?"
"Yes, I have lo go to Milwaukee in
"Why do you have to go there?"
"i'm going uj) to seo about a deal in
lumber. I may buy some [hardwood
lumber up there."
"How muoh?" she asked.
"Well, she's inquisitive enough,"
thought he, but he was tolerant and
answered: "Oh, perhaps 1,000,000
"Oh, 1,000,000 feett Won't that
be nice? I hope you'll get ii.".
Melton was rather amused at her in
terest in his affairs. Ho began to
"Will you remain here long?" he
"No, I'm going to leave in a few
days and go to Now York. I have an
uuole there, and I expect 1,0 take a
trip with him on a yacht "
Melton repressed a smile at the
references to the "uncle" and the
"yacht." He resolved to investigate
further. He had heard ti. ut put lents
were always willing to talk of their
"I notice thf.t yon are wearing an
engagement ring," said he. "80 you
are to be married, are yon?"
For a moment she appeared startled
and then she laughed heartily.
"I'm engaged to one of the nicest
fellows in the world," i?id she.
"You're not jealous, are yon?"
This was moro than Melton had
bargained for. Ho had been impelled
by the cariosity of the student, but
he was not enough of a ghoul to have
fun with the delusions of an unfor
tunate girl. He had detected the
maniacal tone in her laugh.
"Oh, no," said he hastily. "I con
She laughed again.
"If I remain here I'll have hoi
I violent," thought he. So he excused
himself and hurried over to rejoin
As they rode to the city oa the late
train Melton told Lowry tha t the most
interesting patient he had met was a
girl who thought she was only a visitor
at the asylum, and who expc cted to go
to New York and ride on a yacht, and
who, saddest of all, wore an engage
ment ring and really believed she was
soon to be married to some nice yonng
man, who existed only in her dis
No longer ago than last week Mel
ton was at luncheon in a qu iet restau
rant. He looked up from the bill ol
fare and eaw at the next table-th?
asylum girl !
She was radiantly attired and wai
chatting gay ly with an elderly woman.
"By George, she's cured," said Mel
ton to himself. "I wonder if she re
members anything that happened. Ii
she does remember, it will be mighty
embarrassing if she happens to recog
Then he asked himself whether it
would be proper to speak to her in
case she recognized him. He knew
the society rules as to ballroom intro*
deletions, but he had nevsr learned
what was good form in the case of
, asylum introductions. If he spoke to
her he would have to refer to their
former meeting. That won ld be pain
ful to both of them.
Suddenly the pretty girl looked
toward him and gave a startled "Oh !"
and then blushed furiously,, He was
recognized I He simply stared at the
bill of fare to hide his confusion.
The voice of Superintendent Lucas
"This is Mr. Melton, isn't it? Come
over here. I want to tell yon a
"No, no!" exclaimed the young
But Mr. Lucas, who had come into
fthe restaurant to keep his appoint
ment with the women, seized Melton
by the arm and led him over to the
"Mary," said he to the elderly
woman, "this is Mr. Melton, who came
out with Lowry that night. Melton,
I'm going to tell von this. You've met
The girl's faoe was one fiery blush,
and she seemed ready to cry.
"Well, sir," said the superintendent
without pity. "She met me that
evening yon were ont there and told
me that the most interestiirg patient
she had met waa that Mr. Melton.
She said you seemed to be all right
until you started to talk about
"I'll never speak to you again," said
Miss Caldwell decisively.
"And, by the way," continued Mr.
Lucas, "she say<i you asked her if she
"Really, I must apologize," said
Melton, a great light breaking in upon
bim. "I wouldn't have talked that
way only I thought-well, you didn't
say-T supposed she was one-"
"What!"' exolaimedthe girl.
Mr. Lucas roared and poor Melton
collapsed. Then there was a general
understanding. They insisted that he
take luncheon with them and he did
so, devoting the entire time to a la
bored explanation.-Chicago Record.
The Funnel Trick,
Jerry Lynoh has finally learned
the funnel trick. He took it in two
doses-one on one evening and the
other the next. The Senator sauntered
up to the Bohemian Club the other
day and saw two or three of the
younger members attempting a new
feat, and he watched them, with in
terest. Ono of them stuck a funnel in
the top of his trousers, threw his head
back, placed a fifty oent pieoe on his
forehead and tried to drop it in the
funnel by slowly lowering his head.
After all had failed Jerry insisted on
trying it, though all bad tried to dis
suade him from attempting a feat too
difficult for them. The funnel was
placed in the waistband cf his trousers
and he threw back his head to reoeive
the oom on his expansive brow. At
that junotnre a pitcher of ice water
W88 emptied .into the funnel, and by
the time Jerry had got through danc
ing the jokers bad vanished. The Sen
ator's temper improved with dry rai
ment, and the next night at the dub
he started to show a couple of friends
the funnel trick.
"It's this way," he explained ; "you
put tho funnel in the top of your
pantaloons, so, then throw your head
back PO, and-vow!" '
Again Jerry was forced to change
his raiment, and he is not showing
people what ho knows about the fun
nel trick,-Sun Francisco News Letter.
WOBDS OF WISDOM.
Beading makes a full man, conversa
tion a ready, and writing an exact
Virtue, if not in action, is a vice ;
and when we move not forward we go
Every noble life leaves the fiber of
it interwoven forever in the work of
Life's a reckoning we cannot make
twice over. You cannot mend a wrong
subtraction by doing your addition
It is awful hard 1-p convince a man
that his wife loves him when he gets
up in the night and finds the match
Many a man who claims to be look
ing for work wouldn't recognize a job
if it stepped up and tapped him on
To be free minded and cheerfully
disposed at hours of meat, sleep und
exercise, is one of the best precepts of
If you would be pungent, be brief ;
for it is with words as with sunbeams,
they more they are condensed the
deeper they burn.
The wise man is hat a learner in
fact, spelling letters from a hiero
graphical, prophetio book, the lexicon
of which lies in eternity.-The South
Curiosities of Hailstones.
Humboldt, the great scientist anc
au undisputed authority on atmos
pherio aa well os other natural phe
nomena, tells of a hailstorm which,
passed over Tuscany on Mr.roh 14,
1813, every ice globule of the entire
fall being of a beautiful orango color.
Five years prior to that extraordinary
event, Carniola, Germany, was treated
to a fall of five feet of blood red
snow. This was followed by a fall of
blue hail, which is said to have given
.'the whole fooe of naturo an exceed
ingly curious aspeot."
Bed hailstones fell nt Amsterdam in
1726, at London in 1663 (during the
time of tho great plague), and at
divers places in Ireland anJ. France
during the early part of the present
In 1823 a monstrous hailstone fell
at Munson, Mass. It is describe 1 in
the Waltham Register of July 15th of
that year as follows : Extremep, four
feet long, three feet wide and two feet
thick. After the rough part of the
body had been removed there re
mained a clear, solid block cf ice two
feet three inches long, one foot and
six i aches wide and one foot and three
The most extraordinary hailstorm
of history, as far as the queer shapes
of the hailstones were concerned, was
that which occurred on the Wadi
oasis in the desert of Sahara, in IS31.
Tho individual ice ohnnks were of all
imaginable forms. There were wheels
with four, six and eight spokes, dumb
bells, large and small, triangles,
cylinders, both solid and hollow, some
of the solid ones being as much as six
inches in length and not larger in
diameter than alead pencil. The
common round hailstones congealed
together in their descent, forming
into fantastic pyramids, like tho old
pictures of the piled-up cannon balls;
some took upon themselves the forms
of gigantic bunches of grapes, and
other masses "fell in the shape of
neoklaces, crowns, crosses, eto."
In a hailstorm in Wisconsin in
1886 the individual "atones" were of
many odd shapes and forms. Some
were shaped liko ginger snaps, others
like watches, loaves of bread, tlc.^
Firing a Cannon Un 1er Water.
The most curious experiment evei
made with a piece of ordnance was al
Portsmouth, England. A stage was
erected in the harbor within tho side
mark ; on this an Armstrong gan o:
the 110-pound pattern was mounted.
The gun was then loaded and carefully
aimed at a target-all this, of course,
during the time of low tide. A few
hours later, when the gun and tnt
target wero both covered with watei
to a depth of six feet, thc gun wa:
fired by means of electricity. We said
"aimed at a target," bat the faots are
that there were two targets, but only
one was erected for this special experi
ment, the other being the hull of an
old vessel, the Griper, which lay di
rectly behind tho target and in range
of the ball. The target itsolf wa;
placed only twenty-five feet from the
muzzle of tho gun. It was composed
of oak beams and planks, and was
twenty-one inches thick. In order to
make the old Griper invulnerable, a
sheet of boiler plates three inches
thick was riveted to the water-logged
hull in direct ranpre with the cour.-e
the ball was expected to take if not
deflected by the water. On all of these
-the oaken target, tho boiler plates
and the old vessel hull-the effect of
the shot from the submerged gua was
really startling. The wooden tai get
was pierced through and through, the
boiler-iron target was broken into
pieoes and driven into its "baoking,"
the ball passing right on through both
sides of the vessel, making a hage hole,
throngh which the water poured in
torrents. Taken altogether, tbs ex
periment was an entire success, de
monstrating, ns it did, the feasibility
of placing submerged guns in harbors
in time of war and doing great dam
ago to the vessels which IQ enemy
might dispatch to such points for tho
purpose of sLci?iu g citied-7. .vention.
in Int xicating Well.
When a temperance man bores fot
well water, and is rewarded with a
sparkling stream, whereof he dunks
delightedly, only to find that ite
effects very closely resemble tho?e of
a good brand of whisky, is he to be
banished from tho society of the elect?
That would seem to be the problem
confronting the people of Mill Creek,
Putnam County, Ind., where one Casa
Broad&treet, an hitherto upright citi
zen, found a well of this description,
whose product made it utteriy impos
sible for him to maintain his upright
ness. He was obliged to secure a cer
tificate, based on a chemical analysi-j,
from the professors of Depauw Uni
versity, that the water in question
contained no whisky. But its effects
were obvious, and the saloon men near
by insisted that Mr. Broadstraet
should either take out a lio3nso or
plug up his well.-Detroit Freo Press.
Spoons With Hollow Handle?.
The latest novelty with which silver
smiths have surprised the public is the
lemonade fpoon. The handles of these
spoons are nollow and can be used in
stead of a straw. It is told that these
hollow handles are easily cleaned. The
new lomonade spoons aro things of
beauty, with gold bowls in leaf shape.
Plain common folk, however, will con
tinue to drink their lemonade in the
old-fashioned way, for few sideboards
are large enough to hold the infinite
variety of new things in silver that the
enterprising silversmiths are devising
to gratify luxurious pocketbooks?
BUDGET OE FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
Over the Handle Bar-Sore Indica
tion-Superior Talent-A Difler
euee-The Laugh Saved ,
She smiled at me as she swiftly passed
Over the handle bar;
That sonny smile was tho maiden's last,
Over the handle bar;
She carromed hard on a cobblestone,
Rho took a header she couldn't postpone;
Her twinkling heels in (he moonlight shone
Over the handlebar.
-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"What do you regard as the most
reliable weather report, professor?"
"Thunder."-Detroit Free Press.
She was married to her third hus
band and they had had a quarrel.
"I guessed how it would be, Will
iam," she said. "Iou are as bad as
"Madge, you've been married un
happily onee; why do you risk it
"Well, you see, this is another
"Does your wife understand poli
"No, but when she puts up a lunch
with eggs in it she does not forget the
Bait and pepper."-Chicago Record.
THE LAUGH SAVED TROUBLE.
"Why do you laugh at his stale
"If I did not laugh he would think
I did not understand the jokes and
would try to explain them. "-Truth.
Little Tommy-"Why does the
leader of the orohestra wave his stick
about in that manner, mamma?"
His Mother-"To keep tho flies off
jhe music, I suppose."-Louisville
OUGHT TO BE EXCUSED.
"Every human being should do his
share toward uplifting the masses of
"Well, I've done my share-I ran
au elevator seven years."-Chioago
WHAT PB.EVENTED HEH.
Deaf Mute Lover (speaking through
finger signs)-"Please sing for me,
Deaf Mute Loved One (ditto, re
gretfully)-"I can't dear; I have a
A NATUE AL INFERENCE.
*'The most curious thing in the
world," began Bixley.
"Hush!" hoarsely whispered the
horrified Junkies, with a gesture to
wards the door, "?he's in the next
DISCOUNTING THE FUTURE.
Clerk-"What shall I oharge Love
leigh for this suit he is to be married
Tailor-"Triple prices. He won't
be able to buy another suit of olothes
for the next five years."-Truth.
Ficgol- "I had a bir of good for
tune at the races the ocher day."
Ellis-"Indeed 1 backed a winner?"
Ficgel-"Oh, no I but I discovered,
echen I got there that I hail left my
money at home "-Boston Globe,
"I tell you," said Mr. Winterberry
after his return from his trip, "there's
no place like home."
"Yes, there is, pa," said little John
"Ah? And where, my son?" asked
"Home, of course," said Johnnie.
"If there wasn't any heme, there
wouldn't be no place like it."-Har
Wiping the gore from hi? glittering
weapon the desperate looking young
man seized a piece of cloth and re
moved, as well as he could, all traces
of his horrible work from the face of
Then he straightened himself up,
pushed the unhappy wretch away from
him, and, in a voice of thunder,called
He was the apprentice.-Chioago
ON THE SAFE SIDE.
"Hello!" said tho voter to the Bill
villo election manager, "Ten o'clock
at night, and the polls still open?"
"Tee," sighed the manager, "very
"Why, the law doesn't allow you-"
"The law be hang?di" oiied the
manager. "Major Jones hain't voted
yit, an' he bought a new rifle yester
day, an' sent word he wnz a-coming:.
I hain't got a thing ag'in the law, but
89lf-presexvation's the fust law er na
ture, an'Tm a self-preservationist!"
WHY. SHE WEPT.
Willy-"I fopnd mother the othsi
day crying ower your book of poems."
His Sister's Fiance (delighted)
"Oh! is that so?" (Asido). "Ah!
what glory. What fame awaits me !
A man who can bring tears to the eye;
of such a ll?nt-hcarted woman as that
is certainly great, and no mistake."
(To Willv). "She was really weeping,
Willy-"Yes: she said it nearly
broke her heart to think that a daugh
ter of hers was going to marry a man
who would write such rot as that
Old Mrs. M-, who was seriously ill?
found herself in a trying position,
which she defined to a friend in these
"You see, my daughter Harriet is
married to ono o' these h?meypatb
doctors and my daughter Kate to au
ally pat h. If 1 cill in the homeypath
my allypafch son-in-law an' his wife git
mad, an' if I call in my allypath son
in law my homoypath son-in-law an'
his wife git mad, an' if I go ahead an'
git well without either o' 'em, then
they'll both be mad, eo I don't see but
I'd better die outright."-Detroit
THE CRUELTY OF WARFARE.
"I hate to do such a thing," said
the editress of n oampaign newspaper
in a woman's suffrage community.
"But politics is politics."
"What's the matter?" asked her
husband, who was waiting to carry
some copy into the composing room.
"I've written an article that -rill
lose the rival candida tess two thou
sand votes, at the lowest calculation."
"Have you discovered something
damaging in her record?"
"Yes. I can show beyond a doubt
that she is wearing a last year's bon
net, and that her clothos don't; fit her,
because she makes them herself."
AX EVEBT-DAY SCEXE.
Pedestrian-"What's all that fust
about in that house-wedding?"
Resident-"No. A new baby ar
rived last night, and all the women ii
the neighborhood aro going into ecsta
sies over it."
"Who is that tall man all tho wo
men are crowding around?"
"He is a minister, come to asa dalt
for the christen^-*."
"And . ia ..ac .. ._<rt man who at
tracts .o much attention?"
"He ia the doctor."
"Ah ! I see. That no-account fel
low, who is being pushed out of the
way or mn over, is the hired man, I
"No; he's the father."-Ntw York
Queer Animal Pygmies.
Pygmios are not confined tc the hu
man race, but are found among the
lower animals. Ono of the most re
markable of these dwarfs was a species
of elephant which formerly lived on
the island of Malta and in variou?
parts of Italy, where its bones are
now found. This creature, judging
from the bones which have been col
lected, was about the size of a sheep,
30 we can imagine the baby pygmies,
a perfect elephant not muoh larger
than a cat ; an snimal readily held .in
the open palm of a strong man's hand.
Dwarf elephants are not unknown to
day, and several have been brought to
this country, where they seom to de
velop wonderful intelligence.
The Shetland and other ponies are
the pygmies among horses, and in the
early days there was a horse hardly as
large as a fox, if we may believe the
evidence of the rocks which have pre
served the remains of various fossil
A very beautiful pygmy deer group
is found on the Sunda Islunds. These
little creatures are not much bigger
than a cat, while the young are beau
tiful little animals, hardly the sizo of
a small rabbit, yet perfect in shape
and form. The ordinary musk deer of
Central Asia is a pygmy in every senso
of the word, and one of the most at
tractive of the tribe. To the natural
ist it is an undeveloped creature. It
is about three feet in length, twenty
inches high at tho shoulder, and hos
in the male largely developed oanine
teeth that project, so that they are
very conspicuous, and are used as
weapons in the contests which the lit
tle creatures wage ono with another.
The sperm whale is perhaps the
largest, or very nearly the largest, liv
ing animal, and in singular contrast
to it is the pygmy sperm that was dis
covered on the New Jersey sands a few
years ago and forwarded as a rare
prize to the National Museum at Wash
ington. While the real sperm whale
is possibly eighty feet in length, the
pygmy speciman is but eight. Thia
little creature has the peculiar blunt
head,the toothed jaw of tho hg sperm,
but is a very diminutive edition of it,
especially when seen with the man
who found it. Its newly bo.rn young
are when nursing not muoh longer
than a rabbit, while the ordinary
sperm infant is thirteen or fourteen
feet in length.-Denver Republican,
Sheep Jumping Hedges.
Anent sheep jumping hedges I may
venture here to tell a tale of a certain
old rogue who went by tho namo of
Tup-Harry. This is how he got his
nickname : Harry was a small farmer
and he had a neighbor with better
means and a better farm than his own.
One very dry season Harry had come
to the end of his grass for a flock of
sheep he possessed. His neighbor had,
however, got a line field of mangel
wurzel. Harry looked over the hodge
-a hedge furnished with outstanding
slates-and greatly longed for those
mangels for his sheep ; but he did not
relish the risk of being caught taking
them. So he went in the evening into
his field, that was bare of grass, put
his head against the hedge, bent his
back and called : "Tup 1 Topi Tup 1"
whereupon up ran his old ram, jumped
on his back, went onto the hedge and
ovor into the mangel field and all the
flock in Indian file scampered after
him over the back of Harry.
Very early in the morning the rogue
went into the devastated mangel field,
put his head against the edge, bent
hisbaok and called: "Tup! Tup!
Tupi" and up came the ram, ran over
his baok onto the edge and returned
to the barren q- -ter again, followed
in Indian file 1/ al the flock. That
was done sevoral times and no sign:
appeared anywhere of the hedge heine
broken through or of a padlocked gate
having been open?d. At last the far
mer who was robbed hid himself one
night and saw the wholo proceeding.
Tup-Harry did not try that trick or
again. -Chambers's Journal.
Tho Largest Ship.
The Great Eastern was the larges,
ship ever built. She was C80 feet long.
It was in 1851: that tho ship was com
menced at Milwall and not until Janu
ary, 1858, was she launched after manj
From first tho Great Eastern wa;
unfortunate financially. Several trips
were made to tho United States at n
loss each time to her owners and nol
until she was employed in tho laying
of the cable did she redeem herself.
After the successful completion ol
tho laying of the Atlantic cable she wa?
utilized in laying other cables acros;
the Atlantic, through the M?diter
ranean and Rod Seas.
1888 the Groat Eastern was sold at
auction in Liverpool to be broken up.
The price she brought was $280,720.
It is thought that if sho had been
fitted up with the improved machinery
of to-day she could still have been run
at a profit.
Feed Your Bamboo Chair*.
The pretty and inexpensive bamboo
furniture so much used now requires
to be treated differently from the
ordinary wooden furniture. As bam
boo is liable to crack and come apart,
it must be fed so as to counteract the
ill effects of dryness iu the room. The
furniture should be exposed to the air
whonevcr possible. Do not place too
near a fire, and it should be rubbed
regularly with equal parts of linseed
oil and turpentine applied with a flan
nel and then rubbod in with a soft
cloth. An occasional wash in cold
wafer, followed by a thorough drying,
is good for bamboo furniture.
There are 113 firms in Michigan en
gaged in the salt manufacture. The
yearly output of the State has in
creased within the last thirty-five yeart?
from 4900 barrels to nearly -1.000,000.
Ills Ono Great Trouble.
An old, bedridden fisherman at fash
ionable watering-place was frequently
visited daring his last illness by a kind
hearted clergyman, who wore one of
th oso close-fitting clerical vests which
The clergyman saw the near ap
proach of death one day in tho old
man's face, and asked if his mind was
perfeotly at ease.
"Oo ay, I'm rich," came the feeble
"You aro sure there is nothing
troubling you? Do not be afraid to
The old man seemed to hesitate.and
at length, with a faint return of ani
mation said: "Weel, there's just ae
thing that troubles me, but I dinna
like to speak o't."
"Believe me, I am most anxious to
comfort you," roplied the clergyman.
"Tell me what it is that troubles and
perplexes you. "
"Weel, sir, it's just like this," said
the old man eagerly, "I canna for the
life o' me raak' oot boo yo manage tae
get intae that westcoat. "-Tit-Bits.
A Bapt smal Sensation.
While the sacred rites of baptism
were being performed at Friendship
last Sunday morning, a very sensa
tional occurrence took place. Bev.
Mr. Gibson had immersed twenty-nine
candidates, and while I'D the act of im
mersing the thirtie ist, a large
channel catfish ran u*? nu? good broth
er's trousers and proceeded to horn
him in an unmerciful manner. At
this point the ceremony was cut short
with "I baptize you," and a general
rnsh was made to rescio the reverend
gentleman from his peculiar predica
ment,- Pontotoc (M?ES.) Sentinel
DTJBINO tho existence of the British
Parliament it has passed about 20,000
statutes, of which about 5,000 are still
in force. Of these 8,300 were passed
in Queen Victoria's reign, 151 date
from Henry Iii, the first three Ed
wards and Bichard II, 23 from the
House of Lancaster, only 3 from that
of York, 170 come from the Tudors,
G9 from the Stewarts, 92 from William
III, and Anne and 1,132 from ths
four Georges and William IV.
"The pill that will,
won't. Their name is le
piU that will" is Ayer'i
pill to roly on. Proper]
stipation, bilicusness, J
other ills that result fr
pills aro not designed
momentary activity, I
incapable condition aft
is. past. They are con
pose of toning up tho <
the obstructing condi'
liver into proper relatif
organs for natural co-o
Ayer's Pills during tho
been in public use este
permanent value in all
* a ^? years ^
?3 increases every yeal
2 will see why*
By J. HAMILT0
A 600-page Illustrated Book, conti
ing to diseases of tho human system,
simplest of medicines. The book
marriage; rearing and managemea
scriptionf, recipes, etc., with a full <
ico that everyone should know.
This most indispensable adjunct t
be mailed, postpaid, to any address or
116 Loyd Str
your Druggist don't
keep T KIT KR I NE,
send 50 cents In cash
or stamps for a box
J. T. SHUPTRINK,
It Curca all Skin Discours.
?J, Is interesting, especially when lt tells
all about the NEW FRUITS as nell
as tho old ones, and offer' all at very low
prices. Ifs Free. Send for lt. Address
W. D. BEATIE, Atlanta, Ca.
. 7 BE CUT KNIFE.
Wo can cure you without, it. If you have
tho PILES use Planter's Pile Ointment.
We guarantee to ?ive instant and
permanent relief. Send live two
cent ctamp* to cover postage and
we will mail FREE packaze. Ad-_
:'irc8H Dept. A.
New Sp?nc?r Medicine Co.,
CHATTANOOGA, TENN. .
His Own Doctor,
By J. HAMILTON AYERS, M. D.
A COO page Illustrated Itook. onntalnine
valuable information pertaining todiseases ci
tho human system, ?rbowing how to tr? nt and
cure with simplest of medicine.-. Will be
mailed, postpaid, to any aduress on receipt o.
price, SIXTY CENTS. Address
Atlanta Publishing House,
116 Loyd St., ATLANTA, (*A.
fl DI 11 M >n<1 WHISKY babitscured. Bookseni
U I I U III rree.Dr.B.M WOOLLET.ATLAHTA.QA
k. N. D.Forty-two, '9d
vSm -a KM J Titi ^ AI ? ?
CUKfcS WliEHt ALL ELSE T?lLSr
Best Gu?b fjrup. Taxies Good. Use
In time. Sold br druggists.
A Healthful Temp?rature.
As tho season has arrived for tire
overhauling of the heating apparatus
let each living room be supplied wi h
a thermometer as a necessary adjunct.
A temperature of about seventy de*
grees should ba maintained as most
conducive to health and economy. An
enervated system, susceptibility to
colds, and other disorders are superin
duced by overheated apartments. A
person who dwells constantly in a tem
perature of eighty degrees oannot ex
pect to enjoy either comfort or health
under such nobygieuio conditions.
"Dann is a good shot, isn't he?"
"Very good. We were practicing
with oar guns at my country home the
other day, and he hit tho ball's eye the
"Yes; bat he had to pay f. r the
That Joyful Feeling
With the exhilarating sense of renewed health
and strength and internal cleanliness, whloh
follows the use of Syrup of Figs, is unknown
to the few who have not progressed beyond
the old-time medicine* and the cheap substi
tutes sometimes offered but never accepted by
Goodness and knowledge onght to co to
gether, bat lt is a sad fact that they do not.
Don't Tobacco Sp li and Smoke Your J. I fe
If yon want to quit tobacco usiner easily and
forever, romain lost manhood, be mode well.
8tron.', magnetic, fall of new life and visor,
lake* No-To-Bac. the wonder-worker that
mak'S weak men strone-. Many gain ten
pounds In ten r'ays. Over 400.000 cured. Bay
No-To-Bac from your own riruiraist. Under
absolute guarantee to cn ,-P. Booknnd ?ample
free. Address Sterling Remedy Co., Ch'cago
or New York.
FITSstopped freeand pormnnentlycured. No
Ats after first day's use ol' DB. Kuyi*I GitiAT
NEUVE RESTOHE it. Free J? trial bottleand treat
ise. Send to Dr. Kline. ?Kl Arch St. Ph?a.,Pa.
CASCABKTS simulate I ver, kidneys ml
bowels. Never s'ckcn, weaken or gripe, lue.
I cnn recommend Piso's Care for Consump
tion to sufferers from Asthma.-E. D. TOWK
I 8BKO, Ft/HowarJ, Wis., May 4, '9t
If afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Isaac Thomp
son's Ere-water.Dmcsrists sell at 35c per bottle.
JUST try a 10c. box of Ca-carets, the finest
liver and bowel regulator ever made.
St. Vitus' Dance. One bottle Dr. Fenner's
Specific cures. Circular, Fredonia, N. Y.
* implies tho pills that
gion. The name of "the
i Cathartic Pill. It is a
Ly used it will cure con
sick headache, and the
om torpid liver. Ayer's
to spur tho livor into a
saving it in yet more
or the immediate effect
ipounded with the pur
sntire system, removing
tions, and putting the
sns with the rest of the
peration. The record of
half century they have
iblishes their great and
/alter Baker & Ca
.de Cocoa and Choc
id the demand for it
\ Try it and you E
& Co., Ltd?, Dorchester, Mass? j*T
>N AYERS, H. D.
lining valuable information pertain
, showing how to treat and euro with
contaios analysis jf courtship and
it of children, besides valuable pre
;omplement of facta in materia med
0 every well-regulated household will
1 receipt of price, SIXTY CENTS.
cet, ATLANTA, GA.
When the girl comes to be a woman
look out. If she starts out in vigorous,
womanly health then it is pretty safe to
say she will be a healthy, attractive,
The beginning of womanhood is tho
real crisis in a woman's life. Nearly
always something is wrong then in the
distinctly feminine organs. Maybe it
isn't very serious-no matter-thc time
to stop disease is when it starts.
will bring girls safely through the crisis.
Taken at the first indication of weak
ness, it never fails. It regulates the
monthly periods with perfect precision.
Its action is direct upon the feminine
organs that above all others, ought to
be strong and well.
Start the girl right. Don't expose her
to the dangers and tortures of dragging
weakness, bearing dowr. pains, nervous
prostration and the debilitating drains
so common t* women.
McElree's Wine of Cardul, is a home
treatment. It does away entirely with
abhorrent "local examinations."
SOM at 11.00 . Bora? bj Dealer? lo Medicine.