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THOS. J. ADAMS, PROPRIETOR. ' "~ EDGEFIELD, S. C., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 14, 1897. _YOL. LXII. NO. 12.
A poet sang a song lato tho night.
For but oae reason, that he needs must
And through tho darkness, like a ray o>
His simple song went slowly wandering.
It passed the mansions of the rich and great,
And none within its plaintive muslo heard;
lt pause 1 wh^re mighty monarch sat in
But not a soul was by Its muslo stirred.
At last lt found a woman, bent in tears
Above a blor, whereon her dead child lay;
Its music softly crept into her oars,
Anl to her stnekon hoart it seemed to say:
"Arise, fond mother,- do those tearful eyes,
And look no longer downward In dospatr,
But upward lift thy goss unto th? skies;
Por,lo!tby darling's angel dwelleth there."
-Lucius Perry Hills, In Leslie's Weekly.
ON TBE PUMPKIN VINE.
tho N; & D.
Short line, a
spur of the
main track of
its patrons the
X. and D. is
known ns the "Pumpkin. Yine" be
cause some one had once said that
the train went about as fast as a
pumpkin v.ne grows in wet weather.
The rolling stock consists of an en
gine, a passenger coach, a mail and
expresa car and four freight cars.
Early each morning the train leaves
Datisvillo, saunters across the fields
to Nankin, then back in time for din
ner ; in the afternoon the Same pro
gram id gone through with* the Pump
kin Vine getting back td Davisviile
like a schoolboy afraid of the dark.
It is some nineteen miles between
the towns and by strict attention to
business the four trips are generally
mado in twelve hours. The conductor,
Abo Bogers, acts as a brakeman ; it .
increases his pay and gives him exer
The N. ?fe D. is paralleled almost its
entire length by the old Stato road,
and boastful young men are wont to
match their colts against the battered
pony engine as it puffs along on the
other side of the fence. Truth to say,
any plug can distance the locomotive
as it bumps over its grass-grown
track. There is a story told of a hun
ter who once got aboard the Pumpkin
Vine with his gun and his dog. When
he saw a quail or a prairie chicken he
aimed from the window; if he brought
down bis bird Ihe dog wouH leap -off,
And it and jump on the rear platform.
People who aro fond of flowers step
off, gather a bouquet of Flora's paint
brush and prairie pointers, tako a
short spurt after the crawling train
and clamber on again.
On May day the Pumpkin Yin?
stood ot tho Nankitt station, a build
ing of abc.t the size and architectural
pretensions of a oigar box. It was j
warm for the time of the year, the
perfume of crab blossoms drifted in ,
through tho open windows of the
coach and the passengers sprawled .
- about in tho lassitude brought on by j
the first heat. A group of Swedes <
jabbered together in a corner, wag- ,
ging their yellow beards over the ]
misdoings of one Peter Oleson of their ^
people. Several Nankitt lawyers
were on their way to Circuit Court j
and Tom Hargrove [eat on the arm of
a seat, swinging his feet and talking ,
to old Squire Phinney, a looal J. P. (
A traveling mau came in, tugging at
two valises. He sunk into n seat and ,
wiped bis forehead. "Awfnl weath- ,
er," he sighed.
The conduotor helped lift a cultiva- (
tor into tho buggago cur, then he went ,
to the door of theTraiting room and ,
shouted "Allabud" lo the cannon btovc. ?
"Allebud," he said again on the plat- ,
form, waved his arm to the engineer
and hopped on to the rear platform. .
The whistle blew and the trees and ;
barns began to slide slowly backward.
A young man and woman ran
around the corner of the station.
"Stop that train I" tho man yelled to
the conduotor. They ran down the
track and before the conductor had
done anything the girl had swung her
self up on the rear platform and the
man had followed. They stood look
ing at eaoh other with palpable relief.
"It's dangerous getting on a car in
motion," the conductor said, sternly.
"You don't get no damages if you're
"I know, but we had to make it,"
m tho man said when he had the breatli
to spare. "We thought you wasn't
going to stop it." He had an hon
est, sunburned face, his clothes were
of broadcloth, his new boots creaked
and his paper collar was somewhat the
worse for the heat.
The girl had the beauty of seven
teen-color, without feature or soul.
She had adorned herself in a multitude
of bows and bangles and saw the world
from under the eaves of a huge white
They entered the car with tho oon
eciousness born of being in love.
"Looks ?ike a bride and groom,
doesn't it?" Tom said carelessly to
the squire. ''Hullo, that's Hink Bar
"Thought ho went- to I-oway," the
squire answered, "All the Barlow
boys Bold out here."
"I gueps he'ii baok visiting; I'll go
and speak to him." Tom walked back
to where Hink aud the girl had found
a seat. "Howdy do? Won't yon in
troduce me to your wife?"
Hink's face turned a deeper red
thun ever the sun had painted it. "She
ain't my wife-exactly-yet," he stam
The train was running along side
the State road. Hink suddenly started
np and looked out of the window.
"It's him," ho exclaimed excitedly.
"He must V taw us get on."
Tom looked toward the road and saw
a man standing up in a backboard likr
n Roman charioteer, shaking his Hst
and apparently hurling opprobrious I
epithets at the train.
"Wo can't stop this here train now,"
they could hear the conductor shout,
"/or we've got to be in Davisviilo by
1.30." It was then 10.30.
.Til beat your old cow, theo," the
?an yelled "back iq derision, "Tell
'em I'll meet 'em at the Davii
"Confound it," saia Hink, "I \
he hadn't seen us got on."
The girl began to orv.
"What's the row? Who is thal
low?" Tom asked.
"Why, you see, Mr. Hargrc
Hank replied, "he's Mary's brc
and he's took a full notion that
sha'n't marry me-says our
cheated him swapping watches. 1
ain't eighteen till July and I've g<
get baok to I-oway to cultivate
corn and so her mother said fo:
jest to slip away and get married v
out letting Durfey know. "We c
to Nnnkitt this morning, I got
license and we was going to the 1
tist preacher's when we seen Du
coming. We was near the depot
so we jest skited and got on this t
-and he must 'a' saw us. "
"And now he's going to Dayisi
to stop you?" Tom queried.
"Yes-and he'll beat us, for I
bay be's driving can outtrot any hi
"Well, he can't prevent her fi
marrying you? can he?"
"I guess ho could-he's my gu
deen," M?ry said, hiting her face
ready swulleu With tears. "Th
anyway* if he meets us and say
mast go off with him I just know
do it. I won't want to leavo Hink
I always do what Durfey tells me. "
Tom wondered that any man sho
want to marry a girl with so lil
"baokbone"-so he termed her tim
i ty-but he kept this reflection
himself, knowing the ways of bri
grooms and their unreasoning foi
ness. "Perhaps we can got the c<
ductor to hurry np the train,"
That personage was oolleoting fa;
in his shirt slea ves but wearing his c
to give an official air. "Can we gi
little faster, Abe?" Tom said, as
gave up his ticket; "this gentlem
would like to beat that buckboa
man to Davisville. Runaways,"
whispered iu conclusion.
The conductor frowned, punoh
the ticket, then stuck it in Tom's I
band* "We can't go more'n ni:
miles an hour," he answered. "We'
got strict orders not to kill no stee
nor horses an J they're jest everlai
ingly on this here track. But we
try to keep that fmarty on the Sta
road in sight," he ended, vindiativel
for the insult of miscalling his trun
cow rankled in his bosom. "Whi
we stop at Sage I'll get off and tell tl
?Sage was a station where a grai
elevator reared itsclf'about the sui
rounding cornoribs and where
weather beaten platform served t
depot. By the time the tram reache
there everybody in the car knew tb
story of che runaways. At Sage tt
Swedes clattered out and the condui
tor ran to the locomotive and told th
engineer to "go a mite faster."
Tbc passenger could soe the man i
thu buckboard clippihg'rtoYigtho roa
about a quarter of a mile ahead
"He's bound to beat you," Tom said
drawing in his head after a survey o
their rival. "Hadn't you better ge
off at the next stop and try to get i
farmer to drive you baok to Nankitt
You say you have your license?"
"Yes." Hihk answered, despond
:atly, "here it is." He drew it fron
Iiis pocket and handed it to Tom
"If we did get off we mightn't fine
anybody willing to take us back."
"That's so," Tom responded. H<
ran his eyes over the license-a ne^
idea came to him. "Would you le:
Squire Phinney marry yon?" he asked,
"Ho's there on the front seat, lt wil
bc legal if it's, done beforo we react
the city line.
"You can bet I'm willing to marr}
if Mary is," Hink answered, joyfully.
"I never thought I'd ba married bj
& squire," sho said, "hut I guoas it'i
all right, for then I won't have to gc
back with Duriey." Sho wiped bei
eyes, patted her back hair and smiled
at Uer lover.
Tho squire consented to perform the
Beremony, although ho said he "disre
membered all tho quirks in the service,
not hp.ving his book." "But I'll make
i stagger at it," he remarked, "and it
will hold in law,"
"All right." taid Tom. He led the
bride and groom into tho aisle, both
looking vejy warm and timid. "Don't
bo bashful," no counseled ; "we're all
Thu passengers crowded around the
wedding party and tho conductor put
on his coat in honor of the occasion.
While the squire wiped his brow in
preparation, Tom looked ont of the
window. Mary's brother was bowling
along in JJ oloud of dust. "We've
fixed him, he whispered, gleefully, to
tho traveling man.
Squire Phinney mumbled through
the marriage ceremony, making noises
in his throat when he forgot the words.
Hink said "Yea" so loud that he was
covered in a wave of confusion, but
Mary peeped out her assent in the
voioe of a canary.
"I prouounce you man nnd wife,"
the i quire said as the train slacked up
at the second station. After the con
gratulations were over tho bride and
groom had a drink of ice water from
the cooler and then sat down on the
baok seat where they could hold hands
The car settled down to quiet. Tom
and the traveling man smoked on the
platform and the old squire, richer $3
than when he started, put his bandana
over his face and slept.
As the train neared Davisville ex
pectation woke on overy face. Tom
felt a pleasant thrill at the prospect of
trouble when they reached the
station. As they swung around a
curve they could see a bay horse and
a buckboard tied to a post behind the
depot. "Ho'a there 1" Hink oried.
"Let mo go out ahead of you, Hink,"
Tom said as the train stopped with a
The other passengers filed out and
grouped themselves where they could
see what happened. Mary's brother
came up close to tho car steps, his
forehead was drawn into deep creases
and ho held his whip in his fist. Tom
came ont, closely followed by Hink
and his wife.
The brother took a better hold of
his whip. "You young hound I" he
Tom smiled ns if ho thought this
was for him. He waved his hand
toward the young couple, "Mr. Durfey
Maoey," ho said, suavely, "I have tue
pleasure of presenting Mr. and Mr?.
"You lie, and I'll horsewhip you, ,
too," tho man shouted, braudisuing ;
hil whip, y
, "No, I don't" Tom retorted. "They
were married on this train. Ask any
of these people." He indicated the
Squire Phinney stepped forward.
"I married 'em," he said, with a
chuokle, "while you was jogging along
the State road abont half a mile a hen J. "
Durfoy stepped back. "Well, I
wash my hands of tho busin?ss," he
said, suddenly. "Mary, are you go
ing back to see your mother before
you go West?"
"Yes, me'n Hink aro going back on
this train," she answered.
Durfey turned away with a grunt.
Squire Phinney felt that he had
played a strong part and thought to
round out tho whole by a joke of h?
own manufacture. "Good horse of
yours," he called, "you ought-a train
him for the race track. "
"He got hero before the Potato
Vino, anyway," tho man growled, for
getting the name of tho railroad of
"Woll, young man, there's more'n
one way of winning a race," the
squire retorted, in a triumphant look
The passengers laughed at his sally,
and then dispersed. Hink and Mary
went baok into the car, deserted now
save for the conductor, counting his
change on the front seat.
They went to Iowa the next week
and the romance of their wedding
gave'place to the prose of farra life.
Squire Phinney, however, never tired
of telling of the time he and Tom Har
grove made a wedding on the Pump
kin Vine and what he afterward said
to the enraged brother.-Buffalo (N.
I.) Times. _
SCIENTIFIC ABD INDUSTRIAL.
Roentgen ray photographs were ad
mitted as evidence in a Denver (Col.)
Colozed photographs taken at a
single operation aro shown by Dr.
Joly, of Dublin, Ireland.
A great international congress of
soience will bo held at Dover, Eng
land, and across the channel at Bou
Professor Amos E. Dolbear, of Tufts
College, an eminent electrician, pre
iiots that it will be possible ere long
bo flash signals to Mars by means of
A new source of true gutta percha,
japablo of adding 100 tons a year to
?ho world's supply, is reported to have
seen found in a creeping plant grow
ing in Frenoh Soudan.
A new device for ringing street car
gongs has two projections placed on
apposite sides of the car axle, the bell
ever being thrown into contaot by
Beans of a foot lever on the car plat
form. When tho oar is at a standstill
the bell is rung by the pressure of the
Acoording to the Botnuioal Gazette,
i notable cactus garden bas been estab
?sned at tho' University of Ar?soos;
'.t is the intention to bring together
sventually all the Cactaceae whioh are
udigenous to the United States, and
dready more than one hundred species
It is said that the Chinese wash fine
ilk in very pure water, and, as
>rdinary well water is unsuitable, it is
mrified by patting a quantity of
noliueks fe. g. Faludinoe, fresh-wate*
mails) in it for a day. These prey on
he orgauio matter it contains, and
hereby act as filters.
A recently patented machine for
lyeing cotton or other fabrics consists
)f a color trough in which a transfer
.oller covered with a spongy sub
it?neo is turned by the cloth pressing
>ver it, pressuro being brought to
sear upon it by means of two heavy
rollers, one on either sido of the trans
To facilitate the measuring of a per
on's head for a hat a new device has a
itrap running around the crown which
;an be drawn through a buckle to
Bake tho hat larger or smaller as (lo
ured, until it fits the person's bead,
Then the sizo hat wanted is indicated
.iy tho number on the strap next to
Tho speculative astronomers have
riven us some queer calculations and
>dd comparisons. One of the most
3nriou3 of these is ono in which the
relative sizo of the sun and somo of
tho planets is shown. They tell us
that if the sun could bo represented
by a globe two feet in diameter, the
?arth would bei represented proportion
ally by apea, Mars by a pin head and
Mercury by a mustard seed.
lt Magnifies Odors.
Among the latest inventions, sayb
the St. Louis Republic, is a machine
ivhich will take a liquid that has here
fore been regarded as odorless and
distil the most delicate perfume. A
drop of perfumery or essence placed
on the receiver will, on applying the
nostril to tho nosepiece or opening,
produce an overpowering stench that
would in a very short time, if con
tinued, cause symptoms of suffocation.
The instrument eau be utilized in
nearly 'every walk of life. To the
grooer it will prove invaluable in de
tecting adulterations ot goods. The
chemist, druggist and physician, of
course, can find ready use for it in
their buriness, while it has been sug
gested that bank paper can be tinc
tured with a special odor, impercepti
ble to the ordinary senee of smell, but
whioh could readily be detected by thu
scentograpb, thus greatly lessening thu
liability of banks to fraudulent opera
tors. It is also claimed for th?
machine that it will becomo popular
in the homes of the wealthy, for by
the aid of its mechanism tho atmos
phere of a largo mansion can bo kept
constantly permeated with a most del
icate and choice perfume at a nominal
expense. For hospital and sick rooms
its service will prove inestimable. The
maohiue itself is a small affair, about
twelve inches square and eight inches
high. It is made of wood, and the
opening where the nostrils aro applied
is niokel plated.
A Bath (Mo.) man, aged sixty years
and weighing 250 pounds, fell three
stories on to r. p lo of iron ono day ro
cently, but Le immediately got up and
climbed back to the loft from which
he had fallen.
Daniel Clay, of Straf?brd, N. H.,
carried a bag of meal weighing IOU
pounds i distance of three miles ro
cently on a wager without putting it
down. Ho is seventy-six yearH old,
and the feat was a tost of endurance,
JEANETTE WAS THE PIONEER j
ELEPHANT OP AMERICA.
Death of the Old Beast Said to Have
Come to This Country In 1823
and to Have Had Forty
or More Owners.
JEANETTE, an elephant whioh.
most showmen believe to have
been the oldest ia the United
States and the first ever brought j
to America, is dead at Fern, Ind. Her
age is known lo have been 116 years.
The Chicago Times-Herald says she
has been a tenar, of menageries in
this country since ir?24.
Jeanetto really disd of old age. Her
skin was wrinkled and drawn and her
JEANETTE, AMERICA'S PIONEER ELEPHANT.'' |
eyes had that peculiar lackluster np
pearance which always accompanies
decrepit old age. Jeanette had passed
'through the hands of so many show
men that to anyone of these her entire,
history is practically unknown. She
came in possession of her last owner
in 1885. Frevions to that time, it is
estimated by those who know scraps
of the aged elephant's career, she had
been owned by at least forty different
person?. She was of African birth and
was sold for a bagful of gold. Anyone
who saw her, and was familiar with
elephants, would know in an instant
that she was an African. Her ears
were of the enormous, "umbrella"
kind, which make elephants look not
unlike huge foxhounds.
The first that was known of Jeanette;
in this country was in 1823. At that
time an agent of an American menag
erie was m England, and there saw the j
elephant, in company with a number j
of others just arrived from the Cape,
as Africa is termed in Britain. She
had been employed as a working ele
phant for some time in Africa previous |
SETTLING AN OLD SCORE.
(Two scenes in tho
to her purchase by an English official,
who was engaged in gathing a small
herd to export to England. At that
time, it is asserted, there was not an
elephant in the United States. The
agent from America conceived the idea
that he had found a tremendous card
for his menagerie. He purchased!
Jennette for $25,000. The purohasejl
was tho talk of London.
The next thing to do was to get
Jeanette to the United States, and that
was no trifling matter. The year
1823, it must be remembered, was far
in advance of the ocean greyhound,
and the voyage across the Atlantic for
even a human being was considered
an event. The agent, however, was
equal to the emergency, and one June
day when a clipper ship sailed from
Liverpool she had aboard of hor, snug
ly Btowed in the hold, the bulky form
of the comparatively youthful
Jeanette. Detail is lacking as to how
Jeanette ea joyed the voyage, but Bhe
reached New York with but a few
abrasions of tho skin and a sour tem
Naturally Jeanette created a sensa
tion in Gotham. People came from a
great distance to see her lodgings not
far from Battery Park. Then her
owner placed her in a tent, beoause
the lodgings were not largo enough to
accommodate tho people who came to
see her. Ho made money rapidly and
Jeanette waxed fat aud strong. Af
ter a while patronage began to slacken
a bit, however, and Jeanette's owner,
who had long ago given up the idea of
placing her in any menagerie exoept
his own, put her in a wagon that was
cousidered a triumph of architectural
skill, and with just enough other
things to justify him in calling bis
outfit a menagerie started out to tour
Jeanette's fame spread far and wide,
and alter exhibiting her until he had
made his fortune her owner sold her
to a menagerie. How often she
changed banda after that even the
best posted menagerie and circus man
refuses to estimate, beyond the fact
that it was at least forty times. It is
certain, however, that there has been
no prominent menagerie in the coun
try in the last half century which has
nut had a claim on Jeanette nt one
time or another. When elephants be
gan to be common Jeanette's fame
faded. She was probably the most
traveled elephant the world ever
kuew. Tho fact that she fell from the
pedestal of fame so many years ago
did not sour her temper, for she was
always considered a special pet by
everyone who ever had anything to do
Although possessed of this good
nature, sho was resentful of lanced
or real injuries, and if she once took a
dislike to n person woe betide that
unfortunate individual if be ever
vc nturcd within reach of her trunk.
Jeanette bad nu antipathy to a
painter uamed Fraser, which seemed
to tum her against all painters. Once
ehe broke lapse ned discovered a gang
of painters outside the gate on their j
j way from work to dinner. She gave a |
shrill warning and thundered after
them. They ran as fast as they could,
but Jeanette gained so rapidly that
they were forced to take refuge in a
barn, the great doors of which swung
right open, Jeanette pressed them
so hard that they climbed up into the
haymow, and there the elephant kept
them until their cries for help brought
Jeanette was not a large elephant.
She weighed only three tons. She.
had a persuasive way, however, when
ever she took after anyone. To tell
the complete story of her escapades
would be an almost endless task. The
greater portion of them were good
natured, and she was never known to
really hurt anyone who had not in
jured her. It was a favorite pastime
of hers whenever she broke loose in
the menagerie tent to make for ibo
lemonade venders, pnt them to flight
and drink all their lemonade. This
she seemed to consider a most delight
ful treat. The same method of treat
ment was applied to the men and boys
who dispensed candy, and Jeanette
appropriated so much of their stock
that they grew to be afraid to venture
- The people of Pera mourn for Jean
ette. She was one of the sights of the
town during tho winter season, and
was a friend of two-thirds of the popu
lation. Her funeral was as largely at
tended as that of the most prominent
citizen would have been. She was
only an elephant, but it is something
to havo been a good elephant.
Bismarck is Borod.
A sadder utterance can hardly be
imagined than that said to havo boen
lately made by Prince Bismarck, now
near the end of his life, after having
oocupied the position of dictator of
"I feel weak and languid, but not
ill. My illness is want of the joys of
WEAKNESS FOR LEMONADE,
lifo of Jeanette.)
life. My existence is no longer of
any use ; I have no official duties, and
what I see as an onlooker gives me no
pleasure. Should I live longer it will
still be the case. I feel lonely. I
bave lost my wife, and as regards my
3ons, they have their own business.
With growing age I have also lost in
terest in agriculture and forestry. I
rarely visit the fields and woods, since
[ can no longer ride and shoot and
move about as I like. Little by little
politics begins to tire me."
The faculty of retiring gracefully
from active labor and responsibility
when years become a burden and
others can do the work better, is ono
Bismarck has not learned. He has no
such resource as Gladstone has in
other interests than statecraft. Ho
finds nothing to do but to meddle and
complain. The knowledge that he
created a Btrong empire gives him lit
tle comfort, lor ho has not faith that
anybody but himself can keep it
strong. When Milton was old, and
had for "this three years" lost the
sight of his eyes, he could say :
"What supports me, dost thou ask?
The conscience to have lost them overplied
In Liberty's defense, my noble task."
But liberty is a better work than
empire.-New York Independent.
Compressed Air as Motive Power.
* The attention of inventors has been
so concentrated on electricity and its
possibilities, that compressed air,
which is almost as wonderful in its
capabilities, has been quite lost sight
of. Just what it is capable of we can
not as yet understand, but wo do know
that it runs locomotives, transfers tho
United States mails, hurls the charge
of an explosive a mile and a half, with
a foroe sufficient to pulverize a regi
ment. lt operates block signals on
railroads, loads guns, drives machin
ery, works pomps, and carves out
all sorts of beautiful things from stone
and marble, lt is coming into use for
thousands of minor purposes. As a
deaning and dusting agent, it is inval
uable. It copies letters, shears sheep
and is utilized in the stock yards to
slaughter and dress meat. As to its
future, prediction is made that it will
clean house, run dumb waiters, take
the place of the horse as a means of
locomotion, will wash dishes and rock
the baby. There are inventors who
deolare that compressed air is already
quite as useful as electricity.and ranch
safer and more manageable. To bring
it into its best uses, large distributing
stations must be built, from which
compressed air will como os we now
get gas and water. There will, no
doubt, be a ehurp rivalry between the
twe great powers, electricity and com
pressed air; aud between the two, we
oup;ht to be able to get most of our
minor services well and cheaply per
His Thrilling Adventures.
John Elliott, a Canadian, told a
story at Ellis Island, which caused tho
members of the Special Board of In
quiry to open their eyes in wonder.
He had two trunks filled with curiosi
ties, which he says ho brought from
Madagascar. Elliott said that he was
cast ashoro on tho Island of Madagas
car. He was taken as a spy, and was
to have been shot, when a pretty Mad
agascar girl tell in love with him and
saved his life. They .were married.'
Elliott then received n high office. At
the first opportunity he escaped. His
wife was not with him when he ar
rived, -Ne w York Press.
BUDGET OF FUN,
H?310ROUS SKETCHES FROJI
Her Stern Papa-Ho Was a Stayer
A Novelty-The Latest Pluto
Thc children built a snow maa
Down by the garden gute,
But early in the morning
(Sail story to relate)
They found that dissolution
Had b?on tho snow man's falo,
'Twas at tho breakfast table
The children had their say.
"We built our pretty snow man;
Wo wanted him to stay.
We left him there last evenincr;
What made him run awayV"
The maid of eighteen summers
Looked wiso and shoot nor head.
A snow man at the garden gate,
Whence other mon had fled!
"What made him run away?" they cried;
"I guess 'twas pa!" sho said.
HE WAS A STATER.
HO-"Pm going to kiss you when I
She-"Do it now whilo I'm still
"How did Sharpton win that $50 of
"Bet mo he could show mo a sta
tionary engine running." - Detroit
TUE LATEST PLUTOCRAT.
"Boxley, why is it that you never
assooiate with the Roberts anymore?"
"Gracious, man! Roberts is only a
plumber. I'm a bicycle repairer. "
Detroit Freo Press.
"That man Flasher hus broken out
"What a temper ho must have."
"It isn't temper. It's buckwheat
cakes."-Cleveland Plain Doaler.
Uncle Fred-"What a good girl you
were not to cry when you broke your
Good Little Girl-"No, I didn't cry,
but I'se just a3 damp inside."-Truth.
CARRIED A SUPPLY.
"Air! air!" gasped the dying man.
The bravo girl heard him and hesi
tated not a moment. Leaping from
her wheel sho punctured both her
tires with all possible haste.-Detroit
"I believe you men think moro of
your wheels than you do of your
"Whynot? Wo can get an im
"Scientists say that the secret of
life is vibration."
"Pooh ! I've had lots of peoplo give
me the shake, but there wasn't 'any
thing secrot about it."-Chicago
TUE LAW OP AVERAGES.
"Bidston averages up pretty well as
a pleader at the bar."
"Yes, that's the word exactly. He
averages. When bis ideas get thick
his arguments get thin,"-Indianapo
THE LIQUID SCHOOL.
"What doctor's treating you,
"Treating mc? Three of them como
hero regularly and loot my sideboard
every visit. I'm doing all tho treat
in^."-Detroit Free Press.
DIDX T BEGIN AT HOME.
"They say he left all his property
to charitable institutions?"
"Well, that was only fair,"
"Do you think so?"
"Yes, the institutions have got to
support his family."-Detroit News.
Bobbie-"Mother, wero all the bad
men destroyed by tho flood?"
Mother-"Yes, my son."
Bobbie (who has just received a
whipping from his fathor) - "When is
there going to bo another flood?"
TOO BUSY TO EAT.
Hobbs (to friend in restaurant)-"I
say, Nobbs, how's business?"
Nobbs-"Great ; never saw such i
rush. No time to sleep, and even be
hind in meal.?. That was day before
yesterday's lunch I just finished."
NOT TO BE SEEN THROUGH.
"Did you suy to me," remarked the
youag mau, "that Miss Fluvvies
very shallow and transparent?"
"Yes," replied the girl who gossips.
"Well, you did her au injustice. I
had occasion to 6?t behind her at the
theatre lust night, und 1 have positive
information to the contrary."-Wash
j.ou;4H ox THE DAUGHTER.
Fourth Floor Neighbor (apologeti
cally)- "foes my baby annoy you
when it t ries?"
Fifth Floor Neighbor-"No, in
Fourth Floor Neighbor (pleased)
"Oh! f m f-o glad."
Fifth Floor Neighbor-"Yes; it
drowns tho noiso j our daughter makes
on thc piauo."-Puck.
TUE LATTER OF THE LAW.
Irish Justice-"Now, Mr. Johnsing,
yez Bhwears that td' pris'nor kilt the
game out av fceason?"'
Colored Informer-"Idoes, sab."
Irish Justice -"Tin dollars line, half
fer th' inforuier."
Prisoner-"Haven't auy money,
Irish Justice - "Thin, begorra, 'tis
six month's in jail, wid th' half to th'
informer, accordin' to law."-Judge.
THE KITHING PASSION.
Tho young woman was very ill, and
the attendant leaned over the bed.
"Haveyon any friend to whom yon
wish to send ?my Lae-sage?" ehe risked.
Tho paticut nodded.
?'Yes; I havo a clear idead wboc-"
"What shall 1 write to her?" askjd
The patient shook hor head.
"Nothing," ehe answered. "I had
forgotten. She owes me a letter. "-.
A MODEST DESTBE.
Perry Patettic-"Kind lady, could
you give a poor old man a old suit of
"Ermebbe a pair of pants that ain't
"Er a old vest?"
"No old vest."
"Mebbe you could hand me out a
slice of pie?"
"Mebbe I could, but I won't."
"Kind lady, would it be askin' too
much of you to ask you to gimme your
moral support?"-Cincinnati Enquir
Tho Indian Way of Driving.
Commenting on the attempt made
by the Government in 1867 to civilize
the prairie Indians by supplying them
with the garb and food of the white
mdn, Colonel "Bob" Dodge, of Dodge
City, says: "The authorities senk the
Indians thousands of saoks of flour;
pantaloons in abundance, and a big
lot of Etiff-rimmed hats, bound around
the edge with tin or German silver to
hold the rim in shape. They also
sent them a few light-running ambu
lances. The savages, to show their
appreciation of these magnanimous
gifts from the 'Great Father,' threw
the flour on the prairie in order to
get tho sacks for breech clouts. They
cut out the seats of the pantaloons,
and they cut the crowns oft the hats
md utied them as playthings, shying
thom in the air, like a white boy does
? flat stone, to see them sail away.
"The ambulances they woro proud
at. The Government neglected to
send any harness with them, so the
indians manufactured their own.
They did not understand anything
ibout lines, and, instead, ?hey drove
with a quirt, or short whip; when
:he near horse would go too muoh
'gee,'they whipped up the off horse,
ind when he would go too much
haw,' they pounded away at the near
?orse again, and so vioe versa all the
;ime. This unique manner of driving
:ept the poor animals in a dead ran
nost of tho time. I remember taking
i ride with Little Baven, Chief of the
Arapahoes. At ?rst we started off
rently, but hie ponies did not go
itraight, so he kept tapping them,
low the off horse, then the near, until
inally he got them ou a rapid gallop,
md I thought at one time my head
vould surely pop up through the roof
)f the ambulanoe. The country was
rery level, fortunately, or I don't know
vhat would have been the outcome."
-Kansas City Journal.
Exploring With Tia Cans.
Cripta ur rr. H.-ar* ?w-j-,-^? oi_
centh Queen's Lancers, left England
ome time ago for a journey across
Chibet from west to east, says the
jondon Times. He intends on the way
o throw soldered-?p tins containing
mrebment notices in English and
drench into the tributaries of the
[\sanpo and into the other large rivers
vhieh ho may meet with, in the hope
hat some of thom may be pioked up
ar down stream, possibly in tho Brah
naputra, Salween and Mekong, and
hus Uolp to solve tho vexed problem
)f the origin and connections of these
The notices will be consecutively
lumbered, and the tins in which they
viii be inclosed will have a brass label
loldered on the outside, bearing the
vords "Please open this" in English
ind French, and Captain Deasy's name.
Che parchment inside bears the request
?hat it bo forwarded without delay to
;he Boyal Geographical [Sooiety, Lon
lon, with as accurate a statement as
jossiblo as to where it was picked up.
Captain Deasy is trying to render on
mportant eervico to geographical
cnowledge, and it is hoped that the
)fficials, English and Fronoh, in the
leighborhood of the rivers alluded to
nay bo able to arrange for a lookout,
io that the tins may be secured and
;he parchment delivered to tho proper
Queer Calilornla Soil.
The oil resources of California aro
being carefully investigated by the
Stato Mining Bureau, which looks for
? grsat development some day of the
sil industry along the slopes of the
3oast range from San Francisco south*
tvard almost to the Mexican border
line The recent extensive explora
tions made in the southern part of the
3tato by W. L. Watts, of the Mining
Bureau, formed the subject of an in
teresting popular lecture given last
night before the Acedemy of Sciences.
The discourse was made additionally
entertaining by a stereopticon display
of views of the oil wells, bitumin
ous deposits and petr oleum-bearing
regions visited by the lecturer.
One of the views showed an asphal
tum flow in which were stioks aud
stones and bones of animals. Some
times, the lecturer explained, cattle
lie down in the usphaltum when it is
warm; they never get up again. At
other timos, on warm days, cows at
tempt lo walk through the soft black
stuff, but they stay in it until they are
rescued or until they die.-San Fran
A Frost-Time Flower.
A curious plaut is that oddly named
annual, the Cosmos, lt has a feathery,
asparagus-liko foliage, and grows
freely all tho season through, until
the owner begins to think it will never
stop and never bloom. And it does
not-at least in Albany-till mid
October and white frosts arrive, al
though tho floral guidos speak of
August and September flowering.
Then, at an altitude of six to eight
feet, it throws out a mass of buds
which open from day to day, almost
regardless of tho weather, but doing
better in mild, suuny weather. The
blossoms thus far Lavo been white and
pink, of cup-shaped form, and while
not very handsome, they till a gap in
the flower world in their season. Wo
picked the lirst bloom on October 5.
Tho tallest one was eight feet from
tho ground. A little pinching back
earlier iu tho season will bo desirable.
Some growers complain that their
pluuts do not bloom at all before
hard frosts arrive, and they have been
compelled to pot them and let them
bloom indoors-New York Observer,
MOTHERS READ THIS.
For Flatulent Colic, Diarrhoea, Dysen
tery, Nausea, Coughs, Cholera In-1
fantum, Teething Children, Cholera (
Morbus, Unnatural Drains from,
the Bowels, Fains, Griping, Loss of.
Appetite, Indigestion and all Dis
eases of the Stomach and Bowels.!
PITTS CARMINATIVE .
?Is the standard. It carries children over'
the critical period of teething, and(
ls recommended by physicians as.
the friend of Mothers, Adults and*
Children. It fs pleasant to the taste, (
and never fails to gire satisfaction..
A few doses will demonstrate its su-'
perlativc virtues. Price, 25 cts. pert
A bottle. For sale by druggists.
THE YOUNG FOLKS,
A FAIRY'S WASH-DAY.
A fairy washerwoman down in a dell
Set her acorn-cup tubs under a drooping
She washed her clothes-queer little dubs
With the greatest of care in sea-foam for
To make them look as good as new,
She rinsed them well in the fresh morn
And for indigo used a bit of blue sky;
Then, on a cobweb for clothes-line, they
were hung up to dry.
A LAD'S MOTTO. ;
A manly boy of fifteen entered the office
of a London merchant and asked for em
ployment He gave satisfactory answers
to a few questions, and then the merchant
inquired, "What is your motto?" '"Same
as yours, sir," the boy replied; "just
what you have on your door-Push."
He was promptly engaged,.
TREES TITAT FLOWERED IN TIIE WINTER.
What would you think of trees that
would bear Howers in the midst of wintert
A grove of such trees ex'sted in the city
of Paris, and during the recent Franco
Uussian celebration in that city it blossom
ed out in a way really maryelous to see.;
But the blossoms were all of paper, and
they were made by a clever manufacturer
of artificial flowers. You see, the French!
did not want to have their trees look cold1
and bare during the time that the Hus
sians were visiting them. So they had
a great many thousands of flowers of
different kinds made and fastened to the
lifeless branches. It was a most wonder
ful and impressive sight, the trees having
thc appearance o' being in full bloom.
WnERE DEAD LETTERS GO.
Just think of it-over 2?V000 letters are
sent to the dead-letter office at Washing
ton each day. They are from all sorts of
people and from all parts of the world,'
and in many cases they contain money or
Twenty clerks are employed to open
contain money, money orders, checks or
any other article of value. If they do,
every etfort is made to return them to tho
When a clerk finds money in a letter
he immediately writes the amount, the
date and his name on the back of the
envelope, and it is then sent to another
clerk, who studies the letter to find some
elev by which the money may be re
turned. Sometimes success crowns his
efforts, and sometimes thc puzzle cannot
be solved. The address on the envelope,
the name of the examining derk, the
amount of money and the date are re
corded, and the money is put aside for
two years. At the end of that time, if
no inquiry has been made for it, it is seot
to the United States Treasury, where the
owner, by furnishing conclusive proof
that it is Iiis property, may redeem it any
lime within four years of thc day the
Treasurer received it
A LIFE-SAVING D03.
How a mongrel, "good-for-nothing"
dog, a cur of the streets, saved a man'
life was lately recorded by the Louisville
Courier Journal as part of the news of
Loui3 Carr was painting the rear of a
vacant house in Louisville. As the noon
hour approached he was at work at the
very top of his ladder, just under the
eaves. Being in haste to tinish his stint,
and not wishing to spend time to go down
and move the ladder, he stretched as far
as possible to one side.
Just then he felt the ladder slipping
away from him, and as the only means
of saving himself he dropped his brush
and seized the gutter with both hands.
Down went the ladder, and there the
paiu?er hung, thirty feet from the ground.
lie shouted for help, but no one heard
him. no one but a small dog, which came
round the corner in respanie of his cries.
Evidently the dog took in the situation
at once. He barked furiously, winding:
up with a long howl. Then he ran out"
of the yard and across the street to a
poMee station. There he barked again,
and then ran b.ick to thc yard. These
manoeuvres he repeated two or three ?mei
till the policeman began to see something
was the matter, and followed him to the
rear of the house.
Then it was but the work of a moment
to put up the ladder and rescue Mr. Carr,
who was all but ready to drop from ex
haustion. No owner could be found for
tiie dog, and .Mr. Carr, of course, adopted
him as his own._
The 1895 census of the German em
pire reveals the same industrial ten
dencies which are observable in the
United States. Thus the number of
women engaged In gainful occupations
has come to equal about 20 per cent,
of the total female population, where in
1SS2 it was only 18.4 per cent. A small
er proportion of the female population
was engaged as domestic servants in
1S95 than in 1882. The number of the
population engaged in agriculture has
fallen from 50 per cent, of total work
ing population in 1882 to 43 per cent,
in 1895. This represents an even larger
decline in agriculture than has taken
place in the United Suites, where now
about 47 per cent, of th 2 population en
gaged in gainful occupations are fann
ers, against about 50 per cent.. In 1880.
IKE'S MIslN t'EKl'KKTATIOX.
Tourist-No doulit tlie stranger whe
called you a liar was badly perturbed
when you fired at Lim?
Alknli Ike (who has been telliug a rc
miuiscence- Wal, yes; but he was well
enough to git out of bed an' leave th?
county in about two weeks.
The introduction of the new quick
firing artillery in the French army will
cost $50,000,000. The new Canet gun
delivers five 110-pound sheila at a range
of four aad a half milos ta one miaute,