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THE NATIONAL BANK OF AUGUSTA
L. C. HATXE, Pres't. F. G. FORD, Cashlor.
Facilitie; vi "ur magnificent New Vault
outaining 410 t-afoty-Locfe Boxes. Differ
ent Sizes urn offered to our patrons and
tho public at $3.00 to 310.00.per annum.
THOS. J. ADAMS PROPRIETOR.
Pays Intcrost I
on Deposita, j
h. C. HAINS,
W. C. WABDLAW,
VOL. LXIV. NO. 24.
"There hain't no summer cominV said tho
grumbler ia dismay.
And he trudged throughout the woodlands
where the leaneys trocs stood guard,
VThero the scene around bim darkened and
all Nature's grace was marred. *
By the blasts of cold midwinter that had
sternly held their stray.
But above a ruffled red-breast thrilled a
happy little song.
And a sparrow chirped with pleasure as h?
winged his way along.
**Thero hain't no summer comiu'." Why.
since now the sky is dark,
Must the sun forever leave us just because it
Can't the frowns of bleak December be re
placed by May time's smile?
? THE SILENCE OF
BY J. I*? ??
"I wish, to goodnessSiineou Savles,
that yon would shut ftp and keep shut
up!" said Myra Sayles in a weary tone
and speaking as if the words" were
forced from iu-r against her will,
'Too do.'hey?" replied her brother
Simeon, sharply and irritably.
rte had been scolding about some
trifling matter for ?early half au hour,
and his sister Myra had listened iu
patient silence. Now she spoke be
cause he had said something peculiar
ly annoying, and when he ha l replied
so sharply vue said:
"Yes, I mean it, Simeon Sayles. I
get r;o sick and tired of yonr eternal
scolding and blaming that I just wish
sometimes you'd shut your mouth and
. ?ever open it again while vou live."
""Yon do, hev?"
^ There was a sullen silence ia the
room for three or four minutes; the
wrinkles on Simeon's brow deepened,
and his lips were pressed more and
moro lightly together. Suddenly he
opened them with a snap and a defiant
toss of his head.
"Very well, Myra Say!es, I will
'.shut up,' and I'il stay ?shut up,' and
^you'll see how you like it."
"I'll have some peace, then," re
plied Myra, shortly. Yet she looked
at her brother curiously.
Th? Sayleses wore "noted iu the
country roundabout for rigidly adher
ing to every resolution they made.
The thought now came into Myra's
mind, "Will he do it?" She had not
meant him to 4ake her remark literal
ly. Simeon was as iron-willed as auy
of the family, aud yet Myra felt that
he could not keep such a vow lon". It
was necessary for him to talk. So she
"I guess you'll ba gabbling away
fast enough before night. There's no
such good luck as your keeping still
mt very lon". " - . !_
P*-- dlBrooiy um a ^iro~r ep'iy. oui zoos, -ui-r
old straw hat from a nail behind the
door aud went out into the barnyard,
walking very erect, but with little
jerks, indicating *bat the Sayles tem
per was high in him.
"Now he'll go out to the barn and
putch around ont there a while and
maybe patch all evening in the house
' and then talk a bine streak all day to
morrow to make np for the time he's
lost keeping still. I declare, if the
men-folks can't be the tryiugest!"
She stitched away steadily on the
sheet she was turning until the clock
struck 6, when she jumped up hastily.
"Mercy," she exclaimed, "I'd no
idea it wa3 so late! I hope to good
ness the tire hain't gone out. I must
get the kettle on and supper ready. I
did intend making some of the flannel
cakes Simeon like3 30 much, to put
him in good humor,but I don't believe
I tdiall have time now."
Nevertheless, there was a plate-of
steaming hot "liar.iel cakes" and a
bowl of maple syrup before Simeon's
plate when he came in to supper half
an hour later.
He ate the cakes in stubborn si
"Are you goiug to Seth Badger's
after sup'per," Myra asked, "to see
him about helping you c. fe that grass
After waiting in vain for the answer,
"I want to know it if you do go, be
cause I want to send Mrs. Badger a
?waist pattern of hers I borrowed lasl
No reply from Simeon. His sistei
gave her head an impatient toss, anc
they finished the meal in silence
When it was done Simeon went to 1
little table in a corner of the room
pulled out the drawer and took iron
it a scrap of blank paper and a stub o
a lead pencil.
Myra took the supper dishes inti
the kitchen; when she came into th
room again Simeon handed her th<
scrap of paper. On it was written:
" I'm a-going over to Badger'
Myra dropped the bit of paper o
the floor and stared hard at hi
"Well, Simeon Sayles!" she said t
last. "I call this carrying mattel
pretty far. Before ' I'd make myse
so ridiculous, I'd- What you goir
to do when you g3t over to Badger's
You'll look smart writing out win
you've got to say over there,now won
yon? You'll make yourself the langi
ingst?ck of the country if yon f
around writing out what you've got
say when you've got as good a tongi
in your head as anybody."
Simeon made no reply, but pick<
up the bit of pencil and wrote <
another scrap of paper:
"Whare is that patern?"
"I think you'd better learn to spj
before you go to conversing in writi
- spelling 'where'with au 'a' and 'p
tern'with only one Xl If you do:
get sick and tired of this sort o., to
foolery before two days, I miss 1
guess, Simeon Sayles!'*
Whether ho grew tired of it or n
Simeon Sayles .said all he had to sa\
writing frx?m that time forth. His 01
reply to his sister's ridicule and
monstrances was written in th
"Yon sed you wisht I'd shut up
mouth and keep it shut, and '.
a-going to do it."
Ho bought a little Wauk book
. which he kepi- a pencil, and a 1
commiiiiic.ttions to the world ant
individuals were made through
medium of this book aud pencil.
The neighbors said that "
Say.'eses always were a queer lot, t
"Why, the songsters are ia tra?ning,and we'll
soon hear from the lark.
Bads are pooping out o'eT hillocks; treos are
smiling through the min,
That will make them love the sunshine when
?? comes to them again.
"There hain't no summer comm'," but
ndown one storm-strewn dell
Romped a playful squirrel, happy in the
knowledge of a day
That was soon to bring its blessings and the
Violets of May.
While some stream "in gurgling protest, as
upon the moss it fell,
Mingled music or tho sunshine with thc
music of the rain,
And roused up a sleeping flower that for
months bad lifeless lain.
-W. Livingston Lamed.
how;" that some of Simeon's ancestors
had beeu rather eccentric, *ud that
Simeon himself had never seemed
quite like other men. No matter how
true thi3 maj have been, his sister
Myra was a thoroughly well-balanced
womau, with a large fund of strong
common seuse.aud her brother's freak
caused her great secret mortification
aud distress, although she had de
clared at the beginniug of it: "It will
be an actual rest to me to get rid of
your eternal scolding!"
But Simeon had not scolded "eter
nally," as Myra felt obliged to confess
to herself in her reflective moments.
He was, indeed, somewhat infirm of
temper aud sometimes gavo himself dji
to prolonged nts of peiulunce, bu.
there had beeu days and even weeks
at a time when Simeou had beeu as
serene of mind and as companionable
as any man.
Ho and his sister Myra had sat sid?
by side ou the little' porch over the
front door of their old red farmhouse
throughout many a peaceful summer
evening, quietly talking over the past
aud the future. The loug winter even
iugs had often beeu tilled with a quiet
happiness and peace for them both, ns
they sat at the same hearthstone at
which their parents had sat, Myra
with ber knitting aud Simeou reading ?
aloud or ? moking his pipe in peace. !
They bad nearly always eaten their 1
meals in harmony, and now, as they ]
sat at the table facing each other in 1
hard, cold silence, there were times i
when, although neither would have
confessed it to the other, their food al- 1
most choked them. 1
"This freak ot his is harder to nut 1
up with at the fable thau at any other 1
place or time," his sister confessed to '
a sympathetic neighbor. "Sometimes \
it just seeui3 as if I'd fly. There he ?
sits as mum as a grindstone. Some- Jj
nothing' was the matter, but lean ~]
never keep it up very long. I've tried
all sorts of little tricks to catch him 1
unawares aud make him speak once,
but he won't be caught. One day,
just when he'd come iu from the field,
I smelt something burning so strong
that I said, 'I do believe tba house is
on fire,' and lift opened bis mouth as .
if to speak and then clapped it shut
again and whipped oat that abominable
little book and wrote, 'Whare?'
"I was so put out that I flung the
book clear out into the gooseberry
bushes. I really doubt if he ever does
speak again in this world, aud the
prospect is pleasant for me, isn't it?"
The two lived alone in the old red
farmhouse in which they had been I: i
50 years before. They were without
kith or kiu in the world with the ex- |
ceptiou of a much younger sister j
named Hope,who had married a ]iros- |
porous young farmer and bad gone ;
out west to live. It had beer, a time j
of great sorrow to them when this I
pretty.youugsister had married Henry
Norton and gone from the old house.
They rejoiced in her happiness, of j
course, aud were quite sure that Hope j
bad "done well," but it was none the
less hard to give ber up.
She was only 21 years old at the
timo and so much younger than her
brother and sister that their affection
for her was much like that of a father
and a mother for an on'y child. They
had lavished the tenderest love of
their lives ou Hope,and their affection
had not lesseued by ber absence. In
the years since they bad seca Hope's
pretty face aud heard her cheery voice
they ofteu talked of her.
Myra had always stood as a strong
wall between Hope and barm or trouble
of any kind, and this loving thought
fulness had kept her from writing a
word to her sister about their brother's
"I wouldn't have Hope know it for
anything," Myra bad said; "it would
worry the child SD. And there's no
danger of Simeon writing it. He'd be
During all the fall and through one
whole long,, wretched winter the iron
willed Simeon kept bis resolve not tc
speak,and a decided shake of his head
or a written "No" was bis reply tc
Myra's often repeated question, "Don''
you ever intend to speak again?"
One dayin May a neighbor, coming
from the town, brought Myra a lette
that gave to her troubled heart tin
wildest thrill of joy it bad known fo:
mauy a day. Hope was coming home
She had written to say that she woul<
arrive on Wednesday of the followini
week with ber little girl of three year
and that they would spend the cntir
summer in thc old home.
Catching up her sunbonnet, Myr
ran all the way to the distant field i
which Simeou was at work, holdin
the letter out as she ran aud callin
ont before she reached him:
"0 Simeon! Simeon! A lett?
from Hope! Sue's coming boim
She'll be here next week with ber li
tie Grace, that we've never seen! On'
think of it -Hope's coming home!"
Simeon was plowing. He veined t
his horses with a jerk and opened ai
shut his mouth three or four time
but no sound came from his lips. H
face wore a half-wild, balf-frigbtem
look,aud bis baud trembled as be he
it ont for the letter.
"Simeon! Simeou!" cried Myi
with quivering voice and tearful ey?
"surely you'll have to speak now!"
He shook bis head slowly aud sac'
as he sat down on the ? low to rend \
letter. He banded it bade in silei
aud turned away his bead when
saw the tears streaming down Myr
I cheeks, and he bit his lip until it
most bled -when be beard ber
she turned to go back to the hi
When he came to dinner he ri
lotter again, but-he and Myr?
Hope came a week from th;
Myra went to. railroad statioi
miles distant to meet her.
"It'll be better for me .to mi
than for you, if you are bound ?
termined to keep up this no
while she's here," said Myra,
doesn't know a thing about il
may be*sure I haven't written ;
of it to the poor child, and I di
tell her of it now. It's a shnmo.i
ing shame,Simeon Sayles, for ;
spoil Hope's firet visit home just t"
ont a silly vow that it was wicfc
yon ever to make in the first
It's a piece of wickedness
A visible pallor had come into
eon's face at the mention of ?
little girl: No ode knew how
and how tenderly this little girl
he had never seed , had been
thoughts; H? was fond of chi
and uo child in the world could
dear to him as this little girl ->f H
He and Myra had looked iorwa
eagerly to the time whoa Hope s
bring her to thom, and they r?
proudly of all herinfautilecharm
accomplishments as set forth in H
He stole softly into tho sel
opened parlor when Myra had |
Several photographs of Hope's
girl, taken at different stages of
infantile career, were iu the albu
the parlor table. Simeon took UT
album and gazed at these photogr;
oue by one, with unhappy eye?.
He wandered round the housi
yard until the time drew neai
Myra's return with Hope and
Grace. Then ho went down the
to meet them. He had gone pei
fi quarter of a mile when he sat (
by the wayside to wait until
should drive around a turn in the
a hundred yards or more distant.
He had waited not more than
minutes when he heard the soun
ivheels and voices around the cur1
the roar!. He heard the sudden, s
laugh of a child aud was on his fei
At that saina instaut a man on i
uyele dashed past him. Bicycles :
still au almost unheard of" thin:
chat part of tho country. Simeon
never seeu but three or four of tl
iud the appearance of this one wi
mg alou^' at such speed startled 1
Its rider sent it fiyiug on down
.oad, aud it whirled around the cn:
co the surprise of Miss Myra au
che terror of old Hector, the horse
ivas driving. The reins were lj
Loosely in Myra's hands, and be:
?he could gather them up old He<
?umped aside, reariug and piungi
uag^?af^ gVaitfflaMoitTOf stag
lim, while Hope cluug to little Gi
"Whoa! Whoa,Hector!" cried M
in a voice so awful with terror tha1
frightened old Hector the more.
"Whoa, Hector, whoa!"
This time old Hector pricked up
ears, for the voic3 that spoke wa
firm, commanding ono, aud the r
moment a strong hand grasped
bridle while the voice repeated:
It was a harsh, steru voice, bul
sounded like the sweetest piusi
Myra's cars. It was Simeon's,
Simeon was holding to tho bit.
held it until old Hector came to a 1
and then he turned and said calml;
"Don't be scared, Hopo, ch
vou're all right now. Give me
He held out his arms and Hope
the little girl into them, saying as
"It's your Uncle Simmy, dear!
your arms around his neck and |
him a kiss, and let him hear how 1
you eau say 'Uncle Simmy.'"
A pair of soft little arms stole aro
Simeon's sunburned neck; a soft, li
j cheek was laid on his rough, bear
oue, aud when she had kissed
twice she said:
"The blessed littlecreeturl" he s
winking his eyes and hugging
close to his heart.
Aiyl when she and her mother T
asleep iu Hope's old room that ni
I Simeon came iuto the kitchen wi
! Myra was setting some bread to
aud softly humming a gospel hym
praise out of the joy of her heart,
"Well-er-well, what did I
say, anyhow, wheu yon told her?'
4 'When I told her* what ? Ob, al
your-your-la, Simeou, the mini
clapped eyes on that blessed chi
knew there wasn't auy use iu tel
Hope anything about it. I knew y
just have to speak to that baby!
[ I never lisped a syllable about i
, aHope, and she never shall km
[ word about it if I can help it. I
, you'd fetch me in a basket of nice
t chips. The'moou shines so bright
can" see to pick them up. I wa
r quick lire in the morning, so I can
r hot biscuits for Hope's breakfast.
a alwavs was so loud of them."
r Aud Simeon took the chip-bi
i and went out iuto the moonlight
I long-silent lips softly humming
y same song of praise Myra had
I singing.-Youth's Companion.
A Wailer's Dilemma.
a It was in one of the large down
n restaurants that the short little ;
g an and lier tall husband went for
rr ner one night last week.
"Will yon have oysters?" askei
?r man, glancing over the bill of far
B! "Yes," said the short little wo
tl as she tried in vain to touch her
|y to the floor. "And, John, Iw
lp Johu nodded, aud, as he hande
ul order to the waiter, he said, ''Yes
a- bring a hassock for the lady."
is "One hassock?" asked the wi
ad ! with what John thought more
ld ordinary interest, as he nodded ii
I affirmative. Still tho waiter di<
.a ! go, but brushed tho tablecloth w
js* j towel and rearranged the articles
' ' I several time*, while his face gov
Uv i red. Thoa he came around to J>
i/o 1 sid ?, an \ t; ?. i*4*? sofcto voce'
,ce ?Vnv.inis?er.I haven't been hero
he I and I' ?? not on t > all these th
a's ! Will the I- Iv have the hassock bi
ol. I or flied: '-Chicago Chronicler.
. > Trofessor Guglielmo Marconi, the in
Visit America next fall, is only twenty-fi
won him fame and fortune. He began !
Government gladly paid him a high prie
ships. Then ho removed to England,
ventor in his line, and has been the mo
men who are working upon wireless tel?
England, in which he sent a message w
miles, were perfectly successful. Mar
the French to the Euglish coast, but
fused. Learning, however, that the Qt
matter, the French Government agreed
tion on its soil. He says the system co:
i th a
IFUNST?N'S STIRRING CAREER!
& Has Sought Adventure in Many Places SS
3$ and Has Never Shirked Danger. g
A red-headed man
voice, is making the
sas tho most famou
mont now figlitiug tl
only weighs 115'poi
fight. More than t
) Tfafl Story nf Ttrinrn
from, the exploits of ?
pauy," a romance of
than a matter-of-fac
a nineteenth centu
Funston's character as a soioier uuu
combatant is summed up in the terso
expression of one of his own men
The Twentieth Kausas is not a regi
ment composed of handsome meu. As
a beauty show .it would go into bank
ruptcy. So far as possible every man
in it was selected for his ability to cu
dure and fight and not with a view to
his good looks. The selection of the
men wa3 largely left- to Funstou, aud
that his Judgment was exceptionally
good is proved by the terrible deeds
his men aro porformiog on the islaud
The mer. are Kaunas farmers, of the
horny-handed type, bullwhackers from
the plains, blacksmiths, city laborers,
descendants not only of thc old Free
Soil settlers, but of the early Confed
erate rangers; meu who can shoot,
swim, live on air, and sing a hymn.
Fuuston fought in Cuba with the
Cuban army until the destruction of
the Maine brough', bim back to bis
own country. He is but thirty-thrco
years old, yet be has engaged in
twenty-three battles in Cuba and six
or more in Luzon. His left arm has
been mutilated for life by a shell, his
lungs pierced by a Manser bullet, his
thigh crushed by a horse plunging
during battle, his system racked by
Cuban feverv He was captured by 1
Spaniards in Cuba and sentenced
death, but escaped While on an
pedition to Alaska he was pitched i
the Tnkon Piiver and narrowly esca]
drowning. Within the cucumfere
of the arctic circle be was nearly fi o
to death, aud then fought pneumn
tothe very door of death. Of pra
cally uo physique, but live feet f
in ehe? iu height, bis endurance
escape nia'i:n bim one of the most
markablo personages connected i
the American array.
ventor o? wireless telegraphy, who will
ve yearspld, but his work has already
experiments in Italy, and the Italian
se for th? use of his invention on war
He is admittedly the foremost in
st successful of the numerous scientific
Jgraphy.r . His recent experiments in
itbont wires for a distance of thirty
coni proposed to send a message from
the French Government at first re
aman Emperor was investigating the
to permit'Marconi to build his sta
tild be operated across the Atlantic.
Love-making and fighting are all ono
to nie tj.vave General Funston. He
wooed a$d won his pretty wife with
the same) vim he showed in battle. He
met MisKEdna Blaukard, of Oakland,
Cal., a lnjusic teacher, while in camp
MRS. EDXA ULAVKAnD FCXSTOX.
in San Francisco, and married her in
three weeks' .time. She is with him
in the: Philippines, having been
smuggled on board a trausport by her
; husband in thc disguise of a soldier
boy. ? _
Queer Pince For a Oinelerj.
The Honolulu authorities ara consid
ering the advisability of locating a cem
etery in the crater of the Punchbowl,
an extinct volcano. The only ob
jection thus far offered is that if not
used for a cemetery it might some day
become available for an amusement
resort and residence section, espec
ially if an adequate water supply could
be conveyed to so groat a height.
Says the Hawaiian Gazette: "Every
thing looks beautiful inside the crater.
Tho Mawe trees are growing well.
These and other trees were planted
by the direction of the late Kiug Kala
kauo,. The lantana nourishes, of
course, The view in any and every
directhn from Punchbowl is well
known to all for its charm. A walk
\L FR) ERICK FUNSTON.
fri the city to the place would ni
bt trying undertaking and the roa
isettei* than ever."
Future of Funston.
should Funston survive the Lu::c
cipaign, he is fairly destined to b
oe one of the heroic figures of tl
iericau army. Bisjuen idolize hit
I appears to have just as much e
alive ability as ho does fightir
brit. His judgment bas never be<
?estioued; and he stands foremo
tong the American commanders doii
SKI S with the Filipinos.
HOME-LIFE OF AGUINALDO,'
ls Motlier, Sliter mid Wife Are' Carina
For the Insurgent Wounded.
Tho character and life of Felipe
gninaldo, ibo Filipino leader and
encrai of Iho insurgents w,ho have
:b?!lcd against the authority of the
failed States, aro somewhat familiar
) the people of this country. Aguin
Ido, however, has a wife, mother
ud sister, to whom very little atten
ion has been directed.
MOTHER OF AGUIN'AL THE FILIPINO
The insurgent let is now about
thirty years of age. e is a mestizo
-that is, of mixed Sj is? and native
blood. He is of mea a height and
slender in appearance, ' bese physical
characteristics being common to the
Filipino. Aguinaldo's father was a
planter in the province of Cavite. His
mother has Chinese blood coursing
through her veins, being the daughter
of a Chinaman and a native woman.
Aguinaldo's grandfather, on his
father's side, was a Spaniard, who
married a native woman, and hence
the racial features of Aguinaldo are
Aguinaldo's mother has had little to
do with the career of her son, for he
was sent away at an earlv ace. His
yji ^.yuiuuiuo o wno very little is
known. She has been doing good
work among tho soldiers of her hus*
band's army in attending to the sick.
She has organized a hospital corps,
somewhat modelled after our Eed
Cross Society, and in many ways baa
MISS AGUINALDO Y JAMY.
(Sister of the Filipino leader.)
made herself useful to the arm j
There is a pretty 3tory told of Agnir
lido's wooing, but how much trnt
there is in it it is impossible to tell
During tho lirst rebellion agaim
Spain, when the Spanish soldiers wer
committing almost every outrage cor
ceivable on tile Filipinos, a troop (
soldiers was sent to arrest a plant?
who was supposed to be aiding th
rebels. Somehow Aguinaldo heard?
the intended capture, aud, at a grei
risk to himself, went to the planter
house, informed him of his dango
and took him and his daughter to
place of safery. While in retrei
Aguinaldo's kindness to them, i
many ways saving them from captnr
softened tho heart of the planter's fa
daughter, and Aguinaldo made love
her after the fashion of the Filiph
youth, which does not differ matei
ally from tho fashion the wide wor
over. In tho course of time they we
?Marketing in Cuba.
Probably une of tho most peculi
customs noticeable in the Cuban mu
kets is tho extremely small purchas
-small in quantity-made by tl
lower class of natives. Small gou
cups holdiug scarcely more than
tablespoonful are used in measuri:
rice, flour, beans and peas. Cabbag
are cut in wedges the. size of a C?K?
turnips into eighths, squashes ic
minute chunks and odious in halv<
Potatoes aro sold by number.
It is no uncommon thing to see
woman buy a piece of meat weighi
a couple ounces then'pass through t
market, purchasing a tablespoonful
vegetables here aud a piece of gar
there, and finally, after an hour
gossip, depart with food produ
worth five or six cents.-Philadelpl
?N ?D? DEPOSITOR*
Sis Methods Foolei? the Mun Who StoojJ
Behind the Desk.
The cashier of a thriving bank in a
jig western town was doing the talk
"When I began my career in tue
banking business," he said/ "it was
in an old established bank in au Ohio
city to which my father had beeu
elected president. We didn't live in
the town until his election and moved
there when he took charge. After
about six months' experience I was
made assistaut receiving teller, and
between that and my youth, aud the
fact that my father was president, I
guess I was about four sizes too large
for the earth. But I got over it, and
one day'when there was a lull and tho
receiving teller had gone across tho
street to look after a check that he had
taken1 i popped up'to the window and
took my first lesson. A rough-look
ing old fe'lldw came in that I thought
was a farmer from Hay vii le. He came
straight for me',- a'?d srii? that he
wanted to deposit som'e money. It
wasn't my business' to Undertake a
new customer, but I thought I knew
it all, and began to talk to him. He
said he wanted to deposit a cent that
day, but had more. Well, I gave him
the ha ha then and there, and to'.d him
to run around to the Dime Savings
Bank and become a depositor on the
installment plan. I also said some
more funny things, and after I had
had all the fun there was he said that
while he wished to deposit only a cent
that day, he would put ia two cents
next day, and four next, and so on for
four weeks; I gave him tba laugh
again and told him we really couldn't
do a small business like that, and he
must be a good boy and run along to
the penny auto bank around tho cor
ner. Tilda he went away and I was
still laughing when the receiving teller
"I told him what waa making me
smile and he looked' at me kind of
funny, I thought, and went to figur
ing on a sheet of paper without
further comment. Presently lie
handed the paper over to nie. 'That
old fellow,' he said, is . millionaire,
whose business we hare been after
for a year. Those figures will show
you that what you consider is a penny I
ante bank business would have
amounted to something over $210,000
in four weeks or twenty-four banking
days, during which he wished to de
posit his money. He's a crank, but
he's got the cash, all the same, and
we want him. Just what effect your
abln fnnnv business has had upon
A .Slight Misnnderktandint*.
The expert in handwriting had made
A number of very interesting and con
vincing demonstrations with a piece
of chalk on tue blackboard. He would
flourish a few lines and then stand
back and describe them, and the^yury
was profoundly impressed.?. -
"This," he said, holding a piece of
paper out beipre-uiin ia his left hand,
while with Iris right he made passes
i? freatof the blackboard so as to get
ft running start, "is the handwriting
of a person who is not used to ham
ling a pen; not necessarily an nued .
cated person. It might be one w .0
had been so much iu the habit of dic
tating all correspondence that his
handwriting failed to settle iuio any
permanent style or had drifted into
unsteadiness through lack of prac
The testimony did not have any par
ticular bearing on the case, but the
jury looked at one another and the
spectators nodded their heads signifi
"The weakness of the npward
strokes especially indicate that this ia
the handwriting of one who is not ae
cu s to med to clerical labor, while the
intelligence is shown in punctua
"May the court please," exclaimed
a man who had been on the witnest
stand a short time before, and wlu
had been fumbling through bis pock
The expert paused and everybody
turned to look at the man who har,
made the interruption.
"May it please the court," ho re
peated, with much embarrassment
there is a mistake here. The expor
has boen testifying as to handwrit
"Of course, "said the expert. "Tha
.is what I am here for."
"Well," the paper he has been talk
ing about is not tho one I meant t
hand to tho prosecuting attorney,
got the documents confused, some
how, aud what he has is a letter frot
an old friend of mine-a mau whom
met long ago when I was in the dim
museum business. He writes to m
very frequently to let me know ho
he is getting along. He was the arn
less phenomenon. Judge, your hoi
or, that ain't handwriting at all. It
Wonderful Food Condensation.
A retired olficer of the British Roy
artillery is reported to have invente
a new food which is thought to off?
inestimable advantages lor purpose
of military and naval sustentation. Tl
new food has been subjected to tl
severest tests, and it is declared I
experts that it has succeeded in tl
very point wherein all other condense
foods have failed - the preservation
the flavor as well as the food qualiti
of the original article. Eggs, mea
fish and vegetables have all been su
cessfully treated. Fifty-three pou m
of this food, occupying oue cubic fo
of space, is equal to the carcasses
13 1-2 sheep. Thin a '?000-tou vess
could carry the equivalent of '?24
000,000 pounds of ra at, or ratio
enough for th i;,whole population
tho jjriiish alas fo eight days. T
war o Bice, which is hiking up the i
vention, preserves the strictest sevre
as to the 11-etliodd ot condensation ej
rbis ls tba Queen of Nonsense Land,
ihe wears ber bonnet on ber band;
>be carpets ber ceilings and frescoes ber
ibo eats on ber windows and sleeps on her
)b, ho ! Oh. bo I to think there eouid be
i. lady so silly-doW?-dilly as abe J
>ha goes for a walk on an ocean wave,
ibo Ashes for cats in a coral cave-,
5he drinks from an empty glass of milk,
ind lines ber potato trees with silk,
['rn sure that forever and never was seen
3o foolish a thing as the Nonsense Queen f
Jhe ordered a wig for a blue bottle fly,
ind she wrote a note to a pumpkin pie;
3be makes ali the oysters wear emerald
ind does dozens of other nonsensible
Oh ! the scatterbrained, sbatterbrained lady
Her Boyal ??kybigbness of Nonsense Land!
Carolyn Wells, in Puck.
A boy of 15 thinks he is too old to
ran errands, bnt after he is 25 and
married he begins again.
"Cousin Josephine hides her deaf
ness with great tact" "How?"
"She talks all the time."
"D'ye*r think Bunker's renched the
age of discretion yet?" "Well, hard
ly I He's getting married for the
third time. "
Old Gentleman (to convict)-What
is the most objectionable feature you
find in prison life, my dear friend?
"Love ievels all things," sighed the
sad-eyed swain, with a paug of pain,
as his sweetheart sat on his new high,
silk hat and smashed it fiat.
"What are you doing, Tommy?"
"S'audin' before the lookin' glass,"
said Tomir ; "I wanted to see howl
would look if I was twins."
His Daughter-Yes, the story ends
in the same old way; they many and'
live happy ever after. The Furniture
Man-Ah ! Antique finish !
He kissed her! She neither drew back nor
And she did not deliver a slap on bis car;
He kissed her ! No word by the lady waa
Sbe had ceased to be thrilled-they'd been
married a year.
Mother-Dear me! The baby has
swallowed that piece of worsted.
Father-That's nothing to the yarns
she'll have to swallow,.:if she lives to
Teacher-Johnny, you must stay
after school and work two examples.
Johnny-What, and get fired from the
Scholars' union for working over
i:-0 Not much !
SO?" nv -
"That's what they au ^ttj^~.~..iy.
Don't you believe,Jib-a "until he ?Toes
Teachfti^-Once upon a time there
weve"Wo rich men, one of whom made
his fortune by honest industry, while
the other made h:s by fraud. Now,
which of these two men wonld yon
prefer to be? Tommy (after a mo
ment's hesitation)-Which made the
The Caves of Porto Rico.
I It is astonishing how little is known
about the geology of the island of
Porto Rico and the profouud manifes
tations which nature has there made
of her power in earth-making. At
Ponce, San Juan and Cayez noone
knew of caves in the land; the j.eople
had all heard rumors of mineral
wealth, but could not definitely state
tho localities. Even at Caguas, six
miles away from a great tavern which
may develop into as much of a wouder
as our own Mammoth cave, few people
have ever heard of it, and no one has
ever seen the interior of its expansive
chambers. At Aguas Bnenas, t? hich
lies five miles to the westward from
Caguas, the people of the little village
were aware of great holes in the"
mountains toward the south, but only
two negroes had ever explored them
and they only to a limited extent.
The owner of this unknown marvel
of Porto Rico is Senor Munoz, a large
coffee-planter. He told us th t sev
eral years ago an Englishman, a mem
ber of some British scientific society,
had paid a short visit to the cavern
and was much interested, and it is
quite likely that a report of its won
ders has been published in the scien
tific journals of Great Britain.
The expedition to this cavern, known
as the "Dark Cave," is filled with al
most as many surprises to the exploder
as the actual fiaish of the journey, en
vironed in walls of white and pendent
stalactites, a mile beneath the eaith's
K om an stace Carpentry.
The excavations now going on in
the Theatre of Dugga, ia Tunis, sh >w
that the Romans possessed for their
theatres a system of stage carpentry
equal if not superior to the appliances
now in use. An ingenious contrivance
enabled those who stood underneath
the stage to see what was proceeding
above. A number of trapdoors opened
in the centre of the stage, and grooves
have been discovered showing the
way in which scenery and stage fur
niture were lowered and raised Eight
large holes led to several dry wells
three yards deep under the stage,
while a large receptacle served to store
the curtain during the performance.
Tho floor of the stage was covered
with mosaics.-Rome Correspondence
of the London Poet.
Whero Moliere Died.
For many years it has been a muoh
disputed point whether Moliere died
at Xo. 34 or No. 40 Rue de RicheXeu,
Paris, France, and whether 34 or 40
should bear the bronze tablet. Both
houses had their partisans, which
caused many marr?is. At hist it has
been decided it wa-i in Xo. 10 that the
g oat writer of co:i.e ies .Jed.
Tl e increase in tue number of rfiqf
?ila' ...siciiins ii Bc lin, Germany,
since 187s) hus been 172 per cont,