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[HE NATIONAL BANK OF AUGUSTA
L. C. HAYNS, PreVt. F. G. FORD, Cashier.
Undivided Profila } ?110,000.
Facilities of oar magnificent Now Vanlt
[containing 410 ^afoty-Loek B^xes. Differ
ent Sizes aro offored to our patrons an?'
the public at t3.00 to 910.00.per annum.
L. C. Kayne,
Chas, C. Howard,
EDGEFIELD, S. C.. WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER 8. 1902.
I SIR JASPER'?
; Slr Jasper Peters was:the.:fortunate
$on cf a'man who had made a' large
j fortune in trade, and who had then
aevoted" himself 'to one of the great
5 . political parties with so much dogged
ness that he had been rewarded by a
i baronetcy without ever having had to
expose the defects of his early educa
T tion :by making a long speech in the
Whatever his party did was righi;"
that was his motto, and he had lived
. \ up. to it with a simplicity which had
.. brought its inefable reward,
j ; '. The consequence was that his only
son was able to give up any active
share in the business, and to play at
. being a country gentleman of patri
... archal descent, while his wife' could
^assume the airs of a Lady Bountiful
on the one hand, and, outshine all the
great ladies of the neighborhood by
r<, her diamonds, on the other,
j j .'?eterscourt, the country scat of the
distinguished pair, was of course an
"Old place where many,generations of
: ancestors-of somebody else-had
lived their little day.
It was. a large, rambling, two-storied
1 building, daliup from some far away
rerlod, and altered in the castellated
style in the early years ot Victoria's
Beautifully situated in the southern
p" rt of the country of Dorsetshire, it
was a little too- far away from London
to be quite to the taste of Lady Peters,
.who was ambitious of playing a great
part in society, and who would often
run -up to town-for a few days at a
? time,-while her husband was enjoy
ing.Jiis dignified seclusion within the
well wooded grounds and park of Pet
It was on one of these occasions,
when the baronet was sitting in soli
tary state in his great library after ,
dinner, bis little electric lamp on the | (
table behind him and a pile of litera
ture suitable to a country gentleman .
. by his side, that he was disturbed J 1
In his leisurely perusal of his paper
" by the sound of a footstep on the
He had scarcely raised his head,
when, to his surprise and alarm, a
man in the unmistakable dress of a
convict, panting, breathless, with
starting eyes and hanging jaw, leaped
upon the window ledge from outside,
and then fell, exhausted, upon the
:'.. "By Jove!" cried Sir Jasper as he
, 3prang up and made for ty '
But the man was (oo <r
" '.'Pantins still, indeed, f
himself sufficiently to
:feet and across the fie
3t?mer visitor threw hir
nc growled out bctWee
a threat to "do for" - .
gentleman if he so moen ?o
a^alUfor Jjg??. -
Sir Jasper gurgled out a prOEirse-to
refrain, which he did. not mean keep,
amr-the* man -thereupon let him -down
again into the arm-chair from which
he had risen, and suddenly altered his
threatening tone for one of abject en
"Look 'ere. guvnor," said he, in a
thick, hoarse whisper, moistening his
.mouth as he spoke, still standing near
and holding the poker in his hand,
but no longer menacing his unwilling
host "I don't want for to do yer no
'arm. I'm not so bad as what you'd
think for to look at the dress Fve got
"You're a c-c-convict!" stam
mered Sir Jasper, half timorous and
half surly. "You've escaped from
The man frowned uneasily.
"Well, so's a many more than mc
been convicts, and a many as deserve
it a precious sight wus nor what I
do," said the man. And as he spoke
he threw from time to time an an
xious glance toward the window by
_3fhich.he. had entered. "But this ain't
no time for to throw my failing? in
.'my fa?e?- I'm a 'tinted man, that's |
what Isain. The -warders is- after
"What!".,- cried Sir Jasper, with
, something so "'"'like relief in his face
that his guest scowled him promptly
; info silence.
"Surely, guvnor, you wouldn't go for
to betray * 'unted man, a noble gentle
man like you, with everything 'and
some and comfortable about him! You
' wouldn't go for to give up a poor
! wretch that begs you to give him a
change of clothes, would you?
The sound he uttered was an inde
. Bcribable one, as he suddenly straight
ened himself and listened with strain
ing ears to the unmistakable sound of
a rapid footstep on the grave:.
^ "They're -coming! They've traced
me 'ore! For mercy's sake, sir, don't
give me up!"
" The baronet looked at . the close
cropped head-, with the ugly ears
standing out on each . side, and the
coarse features distorted with fear,
with a disgust he found it hard to
hide.. He, too, heard the approaching
. footsteps, and secretly . congratulated
himself .upon his prospective deli ver
ance from his tormentor.
Before he had time to answer thc
man's entreaties the noise of footsteps
ceased ; ? the convict threw one glance
at the window, a second glance round
ithe room, and then he made for the
door with all speed. \ Sir Jasper
jumped up from his chair and ran to
Yes, there, at the distance, of but a
dozen steps, was one of the prison
warders, with a carbine in his hand.
' He was standing still and looking
about him. -It was evident that for
the moment he had lost the track of
Sir Jasper beckoned lo him quickly.
"Warder!" cried he. "Warder! This
The man tu ned and came rapidly
toward him. He,was a tall, strong,
fine looking man. with shrewd eyes
and clear cut features; and, even
as Sir Jasper called him, he was smit
ten by a sense of the inequality of the
- "'?bntest between this stalwart, well
fed, handsome pursuer and the under
sized, lear?, grizzled rascal of whom
he was in pursuit.
i ADVENTURE, i
j * Saluting- 'as he' came, the warder
was Older the window in a moment.
I "You"are "looking for a convict who
his escaped 7" said, the baronet.
"Yes, Sir Jasper." . ."'j :
"You know me, then?"
"Why, yes, to be-sure, we. all know
Sir Jasper Peters," ? said the warder
with a. smile. "Have you seen any
thing of the man, sir?';
"Yes, yes; he's in my house at this
moment," answered Sir Jasper, in
stinctively lowering his voice with a
sort of fear of retribution nt the hands
o/ the hunted man if he were to learn
he was betrayed.
"Where, sir, where?"
.Even before the baronet had finished
the sentence the warder had put his
hand on the window* sill and sprang
into the room. Sir J?sper pointed to
"He got away through there the mo
ment he heard you coming."
The warder looked at him in con
sternation as he crossed the room.
"Then I'll be bound he's rifling your
stions,-room, sir," said he. "The man's
one of *the- cleverest safe thieves in
England, and he's got some sort of
tools with him he's managed to make;
and as. you have got plenty of stuff
to steal, I'll be sworn he's having a
shot at it."
"W-,w-w-what!" stammered the
startled baronet. "How can he know?"
Already he was leading the wander
out of the room and across the hall,
in the direction of the strong room.
"These chaps know 'most every
thing. Goodness only knows how.
Else why should he come straight
here? It's miles from the prison, your
!\ouse is, and there's many a place he
might have took in on his'way. in
stead of making straight for here!
tt was my guess to come this way, the
mly one of the lot to believe he'd got
The baronet was hunting for his I!
ceys. They were standing together
it the door which led into the base
ment and as Sir Jasper turned the
laiidie he said,
"We'd better have the butler with
is, had we not?" .
The warder smiled, and raised his 1
arbin e. ?
"I think this will be protection
nough for us both. Sir Jasper; and I .r
couldn't call the man if I was you.
'ou're never qui le sure, with men ser
ants, whether they'll be a help or a I S
. .. ' ' '? ~-*t"?>- Into
'mtliS A,;" ..- - ?r?C*
*ft C th- Stroll. T&v
?g^a sign. iu osei
uiet. Then he nodded and came tu
rar? him, y . . -
"Will you listen at that door, sir,
nd tell me if you hear anything?" he c
Trembling, and sick with alarm, Slr
asper took his place at the keyhole.
"I-I fancy I hear a kind of scratch- r
lg," whispered he at last. j
Tho warder nodded.
"That's it, sir. That's our man at t
Sir Jasper stood up. t
"But how did he get in?" said he, ?
vitli white lips.
The warder shook his head.
The baronet took his little key from
lis watch chain and proceeded to fit it
n the lock.
"Have a care, sir!"
Sir Jasper, thus warned, opened the
loor most cautiously, and flung it
vide. Then, hastily pressing the hut
on just inside, he floored the small
?partment at once with light He
Irew a long sigh of relief-there was
ao one there.-- '
"And the jewelry-is that all right,
Sir Jasper?" ' .
The barpJistSadvanced into the room
and opened a safe at the father end.
Lady Peters' emeralds and diamonds
w?re almost world famous, and* a sud
den momentary doubt flashed through
ihe baronet's mind as to the wisdom
of letting even the prison warder
know the exact place where they were
kept v/hen her ladyship had them for
use in the country.
But a glauco at the warder reas
sured him. The stalwart guardian had
his watchful eye. not on the safe where
the baronet was busy, but on the dark
corners inside and outside the room,
and even as he looked about him he
held his carbine ready in case of a
surprise from unseen enemies.
"It's all. right!", cried Sir Jasper,
with relief, as he came to the snug vel
vet nest where the" jewels were spark
But even as he uttered the words
the wardens cry broke upon his
ear,- - " - *,--v '
."Ah, would you!"
And, looking around, Sir Jasper saw
the convict .rush/past the warder from
some unseen corner outside, and,
jerking up; the arm which held the
carbine, make a dash for the jewels.
The next moment, before the baronet
had time to make all safe, he per
ceived that the warder's weapon had
fallen to the ground, and that, his
right arm hung limp, while he crie/1
"Seize him, Sir Jasper, seize him!"
The convict, evpfi as these words
were uttered, was springing upon the
baronet, who, good man, living an easy
life, was uot in condition to grapple
on equal terms with the lithe, spare
frame of his assailant. In another
moment both were on the floor, the
convict on the top.
There was a sho-t, sharp struggle,
during which thc baronet felt him
self for some moments blinded, chok
ing. Then the man was pulled off
him hy the superior force of the war
der. Who even with one arm disabled,
knew a trick or two whi?ft made him
more than a match for his%man. ?
"Now sir. up with you. and help me
with him," cried the warder, while
the convict muttered curses on ihein
both and vainly struggled to get 1-ee.
it was some seconds even then be
fore the warder was able to clap the
handcuffs on the desperate prisoner,
at' the cost of much pain to himseli
from his wounded arra. But with the
baronet's assistance he at last over
powered the wiry rascal and dragged
him upstairs, where, with the help
of the men servants, who now, hear
ing the noise of the scuffle, joined
their aid to the master's, the convict,
still definant and sullen, was led out
of the house and hoisted up Jr.to a
light cart which happened to be
"To Portland!" cried-the warder, as
barely remaining long enough to re
ceive the congratulations of the baro
net, he sprang up in the cart and
laid a powerful detaining hand on the
Then Sir Jasper, who was some
what dazed as a result of these un
wonted exertions and excitements,
turned back to the mansion with a
sigh of rolief and a distinct conscious
! ness that he was considerably bruised.
He could not, however, wait to at
tend to his wounds or even to ascer
tain the extent of them, as he sudden
ly remembered that he had left the
door of the strong room open, and that
even the safe where his wife's jewels
were kept was still unlocked.
As the lights were burning both in
side and outside the strong room,
however, it was a matter of a few
seconds only to retrace his steps and
to regain the velvet nest where the
What was his amazement, his hor
ror, to find, on looking into the case
which he had previously opened, that
the chief treasure cf thc collection,
his wife's tiara of hung emeralds
mounted in brilliants was gone!
The unfortunate baronet stood for
a moment petrified by Iiis discovery.
He could not remember at what point
of the hurried proceedings of the last
half hour it was that the convict had
had the opportunity of seizing the
Jewels; yet that he had made good
use of some momentary chance was
only too plain..
A trembling examination of Ute"
ither cases showed that a magnificent
-hat the rsst of the collection was safe.
Scarcely able to walk, the baronet ?
nade all safe and tottered upstairs. |
"Order the phaeton around at once," j
?aid he to the first servant he met,
md then, as he paced up and down the
ian, he debated the chances of his
.ver recovering the property.
He knew well enough that if the
ascal were to take tho jewels back
o Portland with him the search he
rould undergo would discover thc
tolen property; but his fear was that
he man, whom the warder had de
ome means of getting rid of them
" the w?y Ff they were to be flung
as Deeii >-.
"Oh, yes, there has," said Sir Jas- *
er, impatiently. "I tell you he was I
aught in my house-Peterscourt- I
ot an hour ago." 1
The warder looked at him, rccog- 1
lized one of the magnates of the 1
leighborhood, and begged him to step
nside. the lodge.
Sir Jasper, with a terrible sinking of
he heart, accepted thc invitation,
;ave a minute account of what had
aken place, and was shocked to see
i more dubious look come over the
warder's face. When he paused, the
"I'm very much afraid, Sir Jasper,
that you stand a poor chance of see
ing your jewels again. You've been
the victim of a very artful robbery,
md, by your description of the men,
[ should think it was the work of
Netherby and Fletcher. If it is them,
and they've pulled oil a big thing like
that, I should thing they'll be out of
the country before tomorrow morn
ing. They've evidently laid their
plans very well, down to having the
cart in waiting to carry them off. I'm
very sorry for you, Sir Jasper, but
you'd better drive to the nearest po
lice station and lodge your complaint
a', once. It's your only chance, and
I'm afraid lt's a very poor one."
And so poor Jasper found.
Not only were the police convinced
that he had been robbed and that he
stood a bad chance of recovering his
property, but it even seemed to him
that they took a misguided pleasure
in hearing every detail of ?ie affair at
great length, In order to express some
thing very like admiration of the
means by which the two artful scoun
drels had possessed, themselves of the
"Then-then it must have been the
one that pretended to be a warder that
took the things!" he stammered, white
. "That's it, sir," said the officer,
cheerfully. "While you was on the
floor struggling with the convict-I
mean the one dressed like a convict
why, the tall chap was helping him
Sir Jasper groaned.
"He never seemed to look at me oi
the safe either!" sighed he.. "He's the
mort artful rogue 1 ever heard of,
and I'd give the world to see him in
Sir Jasper did have that pleasure
some six months later, when Nether
by and Fletcher, after having expatri
ated themselves for a time, rashly re
turned to their native land.
The baronet had thc satisfaction ol.
seeing them, forlorn and dejected, re
ceive a sent, .nm nf some years pena:
servitude. But neither he nor Lad}
Peters ever saw the jewels again.
Black and White.
.Wot?nu >*n<Ht-io? In Virehilii.
Th?j first" official act of Hie Gover
nor under the new Cons. it ul ion o?
Virginia was the appointment of a
number of women notaries, an Innova
tion provided for by the new Instru
ment. There was strong comp?tition
for the first appointment, and several
ladies were here trying to secure thc
honor. It was awarded . to Miss
Carrie N. Gregory, cf Lynchburg, whe
was the prime mover in securing the
privilege for her sisters.-l'aliimori
A NEW GREAT SEAL FOR THE?
GOVERNMENT AND A NEW FL^fi
FOR THE PRESIDENT. .
THE State Department, Wasi
ington, is about to provide F
self -with a new and Interest
ing piece of "office furniture'
in tiie shape of a freshly cut "Gren'
Sea] of the United States," to replay
the present old one, which is so wort
with excessive use ns" no longer tc
make thc proper impression upon thc
important State papers to which J1
must be attached. Provision was made
expressly by Congress for the recutj
ting, to cost $1250, on recommendation
of Secretary Hay, custodian of that
important implement, and the work ls
now in progress.
All the world over seals have beenl
JSO? from remote antiquity to authenti
cate the signatures of sovereigns andi
no adequate device has yet been ln
PRESIDENT'S FLAG WITH NEW OBESTII
vented to take their place. In the eh?j
tire history of the United States onljj
three great seals .have hitherto been
used in succession, a new one of th?
?ame general pattern as its predecessor
having.been cut as each existing one
became worn out. These thrcerWer?
cut respectively in the years 1782; 38ft
and 1SS5. efftj
The old worn-out seal now in use $(n
the State Department was that cut ju '
1885, when Frederick Frelinghiiyse?
was Secretary of State under President.
Arthur, after the design had first bejflj?
submitted to historical scholars and mr
thorities on heraldry nnd had been
rnoved by them.
Its Immediate predecessor, cut j'n
LS41, when Daniel Webster served as'
Bal s^al otherwise in sevci?,.
iails. The evolution of thc original
seal, ns it has come down from the
rounders of thc Republic, is full of in
This first and original great seal, cut
In 1782 in Philadelphia, in exact cou
Sormlty with the provisious of the act
of the old Congress of June 20 of that
year, was the result of no end of in
quiry and experiment and revision, and
was finally based upon designs pre
FIRST PSESIDBKl's FLiAO.
pared nnd submitted by Charles Thom
son. Secretary of Congress, aid by
William Barton, of Philadelphia.
The oldest document that hat: been
preserved bearing Its imprin' is a
parchment commission dated Sptem
ber IG, 17S2, granting full powr and
authority to Geueral Wnshingon to
arrange with the British for tn ex
change of prisoners of war, slged by
John Hanson, President of Cogresa,
and countersigned by Charles Thom
As adopted by the old Congrss, the
great seal was continued in foi'e and
effect under the pi osent Federl Gov
ern ment by tiie law of Congresiof Sep
tember 15. 1780, creating^ theDepart
ment of State, and was place In the
custody of the Secretary of Stte, who
was required to affix it to all eil com
missions to officers of the Unltl States
appointed by the President by ad with
the advice and cousent of tlnSennte,
or by thc President alone, a er they
shall have received the Pisideut's
In thc new great seal no' cutting
there will bc thirteen olives oihe.olive
branch, and the eagle's dav will be
turned forward, ns in the prent worn
out seal, not backward, as'i the'two
preceding ones. Otherwise' tr newide
sign will resemble that of t* present
seal, except that it will be rae artistic
aud of more perfect finish, lanka to
the progress.of modern art.: .
When the President of t United
States .steps aboard-a vesl, be lt
steam launch or lnan-o'-waiplensure
boat or troop ship, there floafrom the
main a flag .of-hew deslgi Not all
new, hut so changed that nny who
have for nearly forty years en famil
iar with the President's-liner will
:|ueslion the ownership of tl hue new
The design on the flag is I changed
excepting' the "crest." It ally isn't
n crest at all, according heraldry
technicalities. The sunburabove the
eagle's head in the Amorli cont-of
nnr?a bad to have a title, ?HBO "crest"
ls its signification. But tlrolors are
changed, and, ninny bclievmuch for
Hie belier. The Preside* flag, in
[>]nin 'Tidied Sta!es."- ftc coat-of
!irms of the United Statem a blue
The President's flag is a century-oli
Institution, and has practically been ?j
'existence ever since there has bdrm i
With the consent of the President thi
design Is now a pure white eagle, it:
fe1 fP?i ?
THE ORIGINAL CHEST.
feathers heavily outlined with black,
the constellation In white, with the
mys In heavy stitching of yellow on a
blue ground. This (Ins i? of bunting,
fourteen by ten and one-half feet, for
outdoor use, and of heavy taffeta silk,
I .gold thread and embroidery, for Indoor
decoration. The President's flag ls
used only at sea.
Printing I? l'eraln.
Printing from tj-pc in Persia Is not
regarded with popularity. This coun
try is at the present day entirely de
bgndent upon lithography for thc na
^tfVe production of books and Journals
jsyhtch are very rare. A short time ago
a press with movable types was set
np, and upon which a certain number
of books was printed. Thc effort, how,
?ever,.met with no encouragement and
.had to be abandoned. The unpopular
ity of type-printing in Persia is due
to two principal causes: First, the
straightness of the lines offends a Per
sian's nrtlstic sense, and, secondly, In
printed: books the character of the let
ters is entirely lost. The Persian
reader prefers a well-written manu
script, n nd, failing this, he contents
himself with a lithograph, which is us- j
haily the facsimile of the writing of
some fairly good scribe.-Scientific
En^lluli of I.onR ARO*
The King's English has changed aq
kings have come and gone. Here Hi
a passage from the record of a crown
ing of long ago: "The Cardinall, av
(true) and riglitfull, and uuuuumc?
heritour by the lawes of Cod and mau
to the corouue and rotuli dignit? of
England, with all things thereunto en
nexed and nppertcynlng, electe, chosen,
and required by all three estats of the j
same laud to take yppon him the said
coroune and roiall dignit?, wbenippon
ye shall vnderstnnd that this dale Is
prefixed and appoynted by ail the piers
of this land for the consecraci?n, en
vncclon, and coronaci?n of Ihe said
most excellent Prince Henry; will'ye,
assentes to thc same consecraci?n,
envncclon, and coronaci?n?' Where
uiito the peple shall saie, with a great?
Voice, 'Yo. Ye. So be hit. King Hen
ry! King Henry!'"-St. James's.-Ga
Tho Now Chlneso Minister.
Slr Liang Chang, the new Chinese en
voy to this country, Is a many-sided
man. He ls thirty-nine years old, and
was one of the 120 students sent by
China, beginning . in 1872. to learn
American ways. Ile entered Amherst
College, but was unable to graduate be
cause of recall by bis Government. He
was an expert catcher and pitcher on
the baseball nines at Phillips and Am
herst. He is fond of society, anti is un
entertaining conversationalist. It re
mains to be seen whether he can.. m>- j
preach thc retiring minister Wu tts un j
after-dinner speaker. Slr Liang Is * !
widower. . - ...- ?
A <?r?-nt Crop.
Potatoes form the world's groat ni; j
single crop. 4,000,000,000 bushels belting i
produced annually, equal in bulk to jtlV? j
entire wheat and cora crops.
There are no habilitai Inebriates lu J
Montrose, Scotland, report? Hie ebie? j
constable of that town.
1 i THE NEW JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT.
1 i Judge Oliver Weudell Holmes, the sou of the author of "The Autocrat of
the Breakfast Table," was boru in Boston in 1841. After graduating at Har
* vartl he entered the law, and then took active part in the Civil War. In 1882
ne became Associate Justice of the Massachusetts Supreme Court, and In 1S97
became Chief Justice. He has just been appointed by the President to
luceeed Justice Cray as a member of the United States Supreme Court.
A wheelbarrow with ball bearings
las been put on ibo market by an Ohio
BALIJ BEAIUXGS FOB W?IEELBABBOW.
oncern. The ball cups are made of
old rolled steel and "each contains
* The tray is larger
High Fees For r ii yuk-ian*.
The coronation baronetcy conferred
on Sir Frederick Tr?ves will not be the
great surgeon's only reward for his
successful conveyance of King Edward
VII. "out of danger." For his foin
weeks' attendance at Sandringham anc
recovery of the King from typhoid
fever in 1871, Slr William Gull received
$50,000, as well as the dignity of baro
net. Twice this amount was paid t<
Slr Morell Mackenzie for his treatment
of the late Emperor Frederick of Ger
many, and in addition he was pre
sen ted with the Order of tile Rei
Eagle. The doctors who attendee
Queen Victoria in her last.illness re
:he labor of pushing is reduced nny
The Law'* Delny.
Have patience, and the law will see
/ou righted, even inough you may have
Main for a century dead." An amused
..orrespondent, according to the London
Chronicle, found the other morning In
his letter box a notice from the Bank
ruptcy Court, inviting application for a
.third and final dividend of 2Vid. in
:he pound." The bankruptcy occurred
u the reign of William iv. and the
lebt was owing to our correspondent'*
father, who had been dead Cor sixty
rears. How many of the other cr?dit
as can be traced to-day. we wonder?
But think of the bulldog tenacity, her
itage of our unrivaled race, that fol
lowed up that twopence farthing, for
ave aud sixty years and got lt at last.
The Strength of I.enther Helta.
It has been shown by testing that
beliing made from the middle of the
bide is much stronger than that made
from the shoulders. A double belt,
made altogether of middles, stood a
strain of 80,000 pounds per foot of
width, while one made from shoulders
would hardly stand 15,000 pounds.
A Record Salmon.
Tiie salmon shown in the above pic
ture was caught in the River Ewe.
Rosshire, Scotland, with a Oy. Ii
measured four feet long and weighed
tifty pounds, being said to be th? ;
largest salmon ever caught with a roi
in that part of Scotland.
The astronomer who discovers a ne*.\
star has reason to be proud of his good
BLACKBIRD'S CASTLE ON THE ISLAND OF ST. THOMAS
The old castle of Blackboard, the famous buccaneer and pirate, Still stands
on the heights overlooking the harbor and town of St. Thomas, in thc West
Indies, lt was here he kept his wife or Avives, and rumor has it that slight
cause wnasulliHoiit to ?mint mie ??among tim missing. On thu stairs av\\\
walls lending lo tin? lipperSlorlt's are still shown the red bloodstains where tlM i
Old villain smashed-one ol' his many wive? to death. . I
THREE AGES OF WOMAN.
At Jlfteeu. Uko an oponing bud, j?
The maiden fair is aeen;
And she would have the world believe
That she Is full eighteen.
Nest, by the time that thirty years
Their steady courso have run,
She then would have us understand
She is but twenty-one.
I Time rolls around, her girlhood friends*
Aro nothing moro but nam^s,
'rhough sh?j has seen but ninety years,
A century she claims.
-New York Tiutea.
Wigwag-How did you get along1
abroad, noe knowing any of the lan
guages? Newrkh-Oh, money talks.
Tom-If I stole one kiss what would
you think of me? May-Not much; I
have little sympathy for petty larceny.
.Stubb-There goes a man who is
full of mystery. Penn-You don't say!
Stubb-Yes, he just ate a bowl of chop
Nell-At any rate, I shall never be
disappointed in love. Belle-How do
you know? Nell-I'm going to marry
More cruelty-"I make it a rule," he
said, "to learn something every day."
"My!" she replied. "How fast ' you
Timid Suitor-I wish to ask for your
daughters hand, sir. Father-You
might as well take the entire daugh
ter, young man.
Mistress (to newly engaged cook)
And now, what shall we call you?
Cook-Well, mum, me name is Bertha,
but me friends all calls me Birdie.
The youth-I think Bessie Billus is
as pretty as'she can be. Don't you?
The Maider-Oh, yes; if she could
think of any way to make herself
prettier you can bet she'd try it
"His attentions to you have been
marked, have they not?" said the
young woman's experienced friend.
"Oh yes. He has never taken the
price tag off any of his presents."
Clara (to her old chum)-And that
horrid Jones boy that used to pester
you with his love-making-does he
worry you as much as ever? Ethel
Well, hardly; you see, we'er married
Cassidy-Shtop luckin' about yer
hard luck, man! Some mornin' ye'll
wake up an' find yersel' famous.
Casey-Faith, 0*11 bet ye whin thot
mornin'. comes 'twill be me luck to
Bizzer-It makes my wife angry
when I refuse to let her have the last
word in an argument. Buzzer-Why
don't you let her have the last word?
Bizzer-Wei), then she says I am afraid
to argue with her.
Influences Which Render It a Product
The moulding influences which
render the patrician nose to some ex
tent a product of culture seem mainly,
traceable to a close association which
exists between certain muscles at
tached to the more flexible parts o?
the nose and those in the immediato
neighborhood. Nowhere is the last
ing mark of dominant mental habits
more plainly seen than in the muscles
about the mouth. They are contin
ually in action when we exercise the
will-either in self-control or in at
tempts to control other men or things,
and every time they come into play
they give a chastening tug at our
Finally it may be said that, for
the maintenance of a patrician nose
at its best, a well balanced mind Is
almost as necessary as carefulness
in outward behaviour. Its chastity of
tint and outline is endangered, not
only by high living and low thinking,
but also by the habitual and unre
strained indulgence of emotions, gen
erally deemed innocent, and even
laughable. These, through their
strange secondary influence up
on :thc nerves which regulate
the circulation and nutrition
of the skin of the face, are
quite capable of inducing a certain
coarseness of expression curiously
akin to that induced by indulgence in
vicious pleasures. Herein, perhaps,
may be foiled some sort of crude and
general recipe for an aristocratic nose,
which is offered., in all good faith
but with no absolute warranty-to
every one with good powers of mental
There can be no doubt that the or
dinary plebian nose, with its some
what low bridge, concave profile and
wide nostrils, is, above all others, the
nose which is proper to mankind. All
other types are developed from lt.
Even now the whole human species, of
whatever race, possesses it in early
HU Idea nf Old Acc.
The idea of old age is relative, 'de
pending on one's point of view A
New Yorker, imprisoned In a "tonsor
ial studio," fell victim to the garrul
ousness of the "artist" executioner,
and was informed that the latter, re
cently married, was about to set forth
on a visit to the old country.
"I suppose you'll take your wife
along," suggested the victim help
"No sir. I'm not going for pleasure
this time. I want to see my father
before he dies." (
"Isn't he well?"
"Oh, be's well enough; but one
never can tell what may happen. He's
getting along in years."
"How old is bc?"
"Forty-nine."-New York Post
A kitten bas been brought up on an
exclusively vegetable diet by a family
of vegetarians. The result is that it
will not touch animal food and it pays
no attention io rais or mice.