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[HE NATIONAL BANK OF AUGUSTA L. C. HAYNS, PreVt. F. G. FORD, Cashier. Capital, ?250,000. Undivided Profila } ?110,000. Facilities of oar magnificent Now Vanlt [containing 410 ^afoty-Loek B^xes. Differ ent Sizes aro offored to our patrons an?' the public at t3.00 to 910.00.per annum. THE PLANTERS LOAN AND SAVINGS BANK, AUGUSTA, GA. Pays Interest on Deposit?. Accounts Solicited. L. C. Kayne, President. Chas, C. Howard, Cashier. VOL. LXVII. EDGEFIELD, S. C.. WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER 8. 1902. NO. 41. I SIR JASPER'? ; Slr Jasper Peters was:the.:fortunate $on cf a'man who had made a' large j fortune in trade, and who had then aevoted" himself 'to one of the great 5 . political parties with so much dogged ness that he had been rewarded by a i baronetcy without ever having had to expose the defects of his early educa T tion :by making a long speech in the ? ^house. Whatever his party did was righi;" that was his motto, and he had lived . \ up. to it with a simplicity which had .. brought its inefable reward, j ; '. The consequence was that his only son was able to give up any active share in the business, and to play at . being a country gentleman of patri ... archal descent, while his wife' could ^assume the airs of a Lady Bountiful on the one hand, and, outshine all the great ladies of the neighborhood by r<, her diamonds, on the other, j j .'?eterscourt, the country scat of the distinguished pair, was of course an "Old place where many,generations of : ancestors-of somebody else-had lived their little day. It was. a large, rambling, two-storied 1 building, daliup from some far away rerlod, and altered in the castellated style in the early years ot Victoria's . reign. Beautifully situated in the southern p" rt of the country of Dorsetshire, it was a little too- far away from London to be quite to the taste of Lady Peters, .who was ambitious of playing a great part in society, and who would often run -up to town-for a few days at a ? time,-while her husband was enjoy ing.Jiis dignified seclusion within the well wooded grounds and park of Pet erscourt. It was on one of these occasions, when the baronet was sitting in soli tary state in his great library after , dinner, bis little electric lamp on the | ( table behind him and a pile of litera ture suitable to a country gentleman . . by his side, that he was disturbed J 1 In his leisurely perusal of his paper " by the sound of a footstep on the gravel outside. He had scarcely raised his head, when, to his surprise and alarm, a man in the unmistakable dress of a convict, panting, breathless, with starting eyes and hanging jaw, leaped upon the window ledge from outside, and then fell, exhausted, upon the carnot. :'.. "By Jove!" cried Sir Jasper as he , 3prang up and made for ty ' But the man was (oo <r " '.'Pantins still, indeed, f himself sufficiently to :feet and across the fie 3t?mer visitor threw hir ten-or^'sfj-icKfeii-rjarohe. nc growled out bctWee a threat to "do for" - . gentleman if he so moen ?o a^alUfor Jjg??. - Sir Jasper gurgled out a prOEirse-to refrain, which he did. not mean keep, amr-the* man -thereupon let him -down again into the arm-chair from which he had risen, and suddenly altered his threatening tone for one of abject en treaty. "Look 'ere. guvnor," said he, in a thick, hoarse whisper, moistening his .mouth as he spoke, still standing near and holding the poker in his hand, but no longer menacing his unwilling host "I don't want for to do yer no 'arm. I'm not so bad as what you'd think for to look at the dress Fve got on." "You're a c-c-convict!" stam mered Sir Jasper, half timorous and half surly. "You've escaped from Portland!" The man frowned uneasily. "Well, so's a many more than mc been convicts, and a many as deserve it a precious sight wus nor what I do," said the man. And as he spoke he threw from time to time an an xious glance toward the window by _3fhich.he. had entered. "But this ain't no time for to throw my failing? in .'my fa?e?- I'm a 'tinted man, that's | what Isain. The -warders is- after : me-" "What!".,- cried Sir Jasper, with , something so "'"'like relief in his face that his guest scowled him promptly ; info silence. "Surely, guvnor, you wouldn't go for to betray * 'unted man, a noble gentle man like you, with everything 'and some and comfortable about him! You ' wouldn't go for to give up a poor ! wretch that begs you to give him a change of clothes, would you? Ah-h-h!" The sound he uttered was an inde . Bcribable one, as he suddenly straight ened himself and listened with strain ing ears to the unmistakable sound of a rapid footstep on the grave:. ^ "They're -coming! They've traced me 'ore! For mercy's sake, sir, don't give me up!" " The baronet looked at . the close cropped head-, with the ugly ears standing out on each . side, and the coarse features distorted with fear, with a disgust he found it hard to hide.. He, too, heard the approaching . footsteps, and secretly . congratulated himself .upon his prospective deli ver ance from his tormentor. Before he had time to answer thc man's entreaties the noise of footsteps ceased ; ? the convict threw one glance at the window, a second glance round ithe room, and then he made for the door with all speed. \ Sir Jasper jumped up from his chair and ran to the window. Yes, there, at the distance, of but a dozen steps, was one of the prison warders, with a carbine in his hand. ' He was standing still and looking about him. -It was evident that for the moment he had lost the track of his quarry. Sir Jasper beckoned lo him quickly. "Warder!" cried he. "Warder! This way!" The man tu ned and came rapidly toward him. He,was a tall, strong, fine looking man. with shrewd eyes and clear cut features; and, even as Sir Jasper called him, he was smit ten by a sense of the inequality of the - "'?bntest between this stalwart, well fed, handsome pursuer and the under sized, lear?, grizzled rascal of whom he was in pursuit. i ADVENTURE, i j * Saluting- 'as he' came, the warder was Older the window in a moment. I "You"are "looking for a convict who his escaped 7" said, the baronet. "Yes, Sir Jasper." . ."'j : "You know me, then?" "Why, yes, to be-sure, we. all know Sir Jasper Peters," ? said the warder with a. smile. "Have you seen any thing of the man, sir?'; "Yes, yes; he's in my house at this moment," answered Sir Jasper, in stinctively lowering his voice with a sort of fear of retribution nt the hands o/ the hunted man if he were to learn he was betrayed. "Where, sir, where?" .Even before the baronet had finished the sentence the warder had put his hand on the window* sill and sprang into the room. Sir J?sper pointed to the door. "He got away through there the mo ment he heard you coming." The warder looked at him in con sternation as he crossed the room. "Then I'll be bound he's rifling your stions,-room, sir," said he. "The man's one of *the- cleverest safe thieves in England, and he's got some sort of tools with him he's managed to make; and as. you have got plenty of stuff to steal, I'll be sworn he's having a shot at it." "W-,w-w-what!" stammered the startled baronet. "How can he know?" Already he was leading the wander out of the room and across the hall, in the direction of the strong room. "These chaps know 'most every thing. Goodness only knows how. Else why should he come straight here? It's miles from the prison, your !\ouse is, and there's many a place he might have took in on his'way. in stead of making straight for here! tt was my guess to come this way, the mly one of the lot to believe he'd got ?o far." The baronet was hunting for his I! ceys. They were standing together it the door which led into the base ment and as Sir Jasper turned the laiidie he said, "We'd better have the butler with is, had we not?" . The warder smiled, and raised his 1 arbin e. ? "I think this will be protection nough for us both. Sir Jasper; and I .r couldn't call the man if I was you. 'ou're never qui le sure, with men ser ants, whether they'll be a help or a I S '""'Iranre." . .. ' ' '? ~-*t"?>- Into 'mtliS A,;" ..- - ?r?C* *ft C th- Stroll. T&v S ?g^a sign. iu osei uiet. Then he nodded and came tu rar? him, y . . - "Will you listen at that door, sir, nd tell me if you hear anything?" he c sked. jj Trembling, and sick with alarm, Slr asper took his place at the keyhole. "I-I fancy I hear a kind of scratch- r lg," whispered he at last. j Tho warder nodded. "That's it, sir. That's our man at t irork!" i Sir Jasper stood up. t "But how did he get in?" said he, ? vitli white lips. The warder shook his head. The baronet took his little key from lis watch chain and proceeded to fit it n the lock. "Have a care, sir!" Sir Jasper, thus warned, opened the loor most cautiously, and flung it vide. Then, hastily pressing the hut on just inside, he floored the small ?partment at once with light He Irew a long sigh of relief-there was ao one there.-- ' "And the jewelry-is that all right, Sir Jasper?" ' . The barpJistSadvanced into the room and opened a safe at the father end. Lady Peters' emeralds and diamonds w?re almost world famous, and* a sud den momentary doubt flashed through ihe baronet's mind as to the wisdom of letting even the prison warder know the exact place where they were kept v/hen her ladyship had them for use in the country. But a glauco at the warder reas sured him. The stalwart guardian had his watchful eye. not on the safe where the baronet was busy, but on the dark corners inside and outside the room, and even as he looked about him he held his carbine ready in case of a surprise from unseen enemies. "It's all. right!", cried Sir Jasper, with relief, as he came to the snug vel vet nest where the" jewels were spark ling. ' But even as he uttered the words the wardens cry broke upon his ear,- - " - *,--v ' ."Ah, would you!" And, looking around, Sir Jasper saw the convict .rush/past the warder from some unseen corner outside, and, jerking up; the arm which held the carbine, make a dash for the jewels. The next moment, before the baronet had time to make all safe, he per ceived that the warder's weapon had fallen to the ground, and that, his right arm hung limp, while he crie/1 out excitedly, "Seize him, Sir Jasper, seize him!" The convict, evpfi as these words were uttered, was springing upon the baronet, who, good man, living an easy life, was uot in condition to grapple on equal terms with the lithe, spare frame of his assailant. In another moment both were on the floor, the convict on the top. There was a sho-t, sharp struggle, during which thc baronet felt him self for some moments blinded, chok ing. Then the man was pulled off him hy the superior force of the war der. Who even with one arm disabled, knew a trick or two whi?ft made him more than a match for his%man. ? "Now sir. up with you. and help me with him," cried the warder, while the convict muttered curses on ihein both and vainly struggled to get 1-ee. it was some seconds even then be fore the warder was able to clap the handcuffs on the desperate prisoner, at' the cost of much pain to himseli from his wounded arra. But with the baronet's assistance he at last over powered the wiry rascal and dragged him upstairs, where, with the help of the men servants, who now, hear ing the noise of the scuffle, joined their aid to the master's, the convict, still definant and sullen, was led out of the house and hoisted up Jr.to a light cart which happened to be within hail. "To Portland!" cried-the warder, as barely remaining long enough to re ceive the congratulations of the baro net, he sprang up in the cart and laid a powerful detaining hand on the rascal's shoulder. Then Sir Jasper, who was some what dazed as a result of these un wonted exertions and excitements, turned back to the mansion with a sigh of rolief and a distinct conscious ! ness that he was considerably bruised. He could not, however, wait to at tend to his wounds or even to ascer tain the extent of them, as he sudden ly remembered that he had left the door of the strong room open, and that even the safe where his wife's jewels were kept was still unlocked. As the lights were burning both in side and outside the strong room, however, it was a matter of a few seconds only to retrace his steps and to regain the velvet nest where the gems lay. What was his amazement, his hor ror, to find, on looking into the case which he had previously opened, that the chief treasure cf thc collection, his wife's tiara of hung emeralds mounted in brilliants was gone! The unfortunate baronet stood for a moment petrified by Iiis discovery. He could not remember at what point of the hurried proceedings of the last half hour it was that the convict had had the opportunity of seizing the Jewels; yet that he had made good use of some momentary chance was only too plain.. A trembling examination of Ute" ither cases showed that a magnificent -hat the rsst of the collection was safe. Scarcely able to walk, the baronet ? nade all safe and tottered upstairs. | "Order the phaeton around at once," j ?aid he to the first servant he met, md then, as he paced up and down the ian, he debated the chances of his .ver recovering the property. He knew well enough that if the ascal were to take tho jewels back o Portland with him the search he rould undergo would discover thc tolen property; but his fear was that he man, whom the warder had de ome means of getting rid of them " the w?y Ff they were to be flung as Deeii >-. "Oh, yes, there has," said Sir Jas- * er, impatiently. "I tell you he was I aught in my house-Peterscourt- I ot an hour ago." 1 The warder looked at him, rccog- 1 lized one of the magnates of the 1 leighborhood, and begged him to step nside. the lodge. Sir Jasper, with a terrible sinking of he heart, accepted thc invitation, ;ave a minute account of what had aken place, and was shocked to see i more dubious look come over the warder's face. When he paused, the nan said, "I'm very much afraid, Sir Jasper, that you stand a poor chance of see ing your jewels again. You've been the victim of a very artful robbery, md, by your description of the men, [ should think it was the work of Netherby and Fletcher. If it is them, and they've pulled oil a big thing like that, I should thing they'll be out of the country before tomorrow morn ing. They've evidently laid their plans very well, down to having the cart in waiting to carry them off. I'm very sorry for you, Sir Jasper, but you'd better drive to the nearest po lice station and lodge your complaint a', once. It's your only chance, and I'm afraid lt's a very poor one." And so poor Jasper found. Not only were the police convinced that he had been robbed and that he stood a bad chance of recovering his property, but it even seemed to him that they took a misguided pleasure in hearing every detail of ?ie affair at great length, In order to express some thing very like admiration of the means by which the two artful scoun drels had possessed, themselves of the jewels. "Then-then it must have been the one that pretended to be a warder that took the things!" he stammered, white with rage. . "That's it, sir," said the officer, cheerfully. "While you was on the floor struggling with the convict-I mean the one dressed like a convict why, the tall chap was helping him self!" Sir Jasper groaned. "He never seemed to look at me oi the safe either!" sighed he.. "He's the mort artful rogue 1 ever heard of, and I'd give the world to see him in the dock!" Sir Jasper did have that pleasure some six months later, when Nether by and Fletcher, after having expatri ated themselves for a time, rashly re turned to their native land. The baronet had thc satisfaction ol. seeing them, forlorn and dejected, re ceive a sent, .nm nf some years pena: servitude. But neither he nor Lad} Peters ever saw the jewels again. Black and White. .Wot?nu >*n<Ht-io? In Virehilii. Th?j first" official act of Hie Gover nor under the new Cons. it ul ion o? Virginia was the appointment of a number of women notaries, an Innova tion provided for by the new Instru ment. There was strong comp?tition for the first appointment, and several ladies were here trying to secure thc honor. It was awarded . to Miss Carrie N. Gregory, cf Lynchburg, whe was the prime mover in securing the privilege for her sisters.-l'aliimori .American. A NEW GREAT SEAL FOR THE? GOVERNMENT AND A NEW FL^fi FOR THE PRESIDENT. . THE State Department, Wasi ington, is about to provide F self -with a new and Interest ing piece of "office furniture' in tiie shape of a freshly cut "Gren' Sea] of the United States," to replay the present old one, which is so wort with excessive use ns" no longer tc make thc proper impression upon thc important State papers to which J1 must be attached. Provision was made expressly by Congress for the recutj ting, to cost $1250, on recommendation of Secretary Hay, custodian of that important implement, and the work ls now in progress. All the world over seals have beenl JSO? from remote antiquity to authenti cate the signatures of sovereigns andi no adequate device has yet been ln y*4 mMf PRESIDENT'S FLAG WITH NEW OBESTII vented to take their place. In the eh?j tire history of the United States onljj three great seals .have hitherto been used in succession, a new one of th? ?ame general pattern as its predecessor having.been cut as each existing one became worn out. These thrcerWer? cut respectively in the years 1782; 38ft and 1SS5. efftj The old worn-out seal now in use $(n the State Department was that cut ju ' 1885, when Frederick Frelinghiiyse? was Secretary of State under President. Arthur, after the design had first bejflj? submitted to historical scholars and mr thorities on heraldry nnd had been rnoved by them. Its Immediate predecessor, cut j'n LS41, when Daniel Webster served as' Bal s^al otherwise in sevci?,. iails. The evolution of thc original seal, ns it has come down from the rounders of thc Republic, is full of in terest. ' This first and original great seal, cut In 1782 in Philadelphia, in exact cou Sormlty with the provisious of the act of the old Congress of June 20 of that year, was the result of no end of in quiry and experiment and revision, and was finally based upon designs pre FIRST PSESIDBKl's FLiAO. pared nnd submitted by Charles Thom son. Secretary of Congress, aid by William Barton, of Philadelphia. The oldest document that hat: been preserved bearing Its imprin' is a parchment commission dated Sptem ber IG, 17S2, granting full powr and authority to Geueral Wnshingon to arrange with the British for tn ex change of prisoners of war, slged by John Hanson, President of Cogresa, and countersigned by Charles Thom son, Secretary. As adopted by the old Congrss, the great seal was continued in foi'e and effect under the pi osent Federl Gov ern ment by tiie law of Congresiof Sep tember 15. 1780, creating^ theDepart ment of State, and was place In the custody of the Secretary of Stte, who was required to affix it to all eil com missions to officers of the Unltl States appointed by the President by ad with the advice and cousent of tlnSennte, or by thc President alone, a er they shall have received the Pisideut's signature. In thc new great seal no' cutting there will bc thirteen olives oihe.olive branch, and the eagle's dav will be turned forward, ns in the prent worn out seal, not backward, as'i the'two preceding ones. Otherwise' tr newide sign will resemble that of t* present seal, except that it will be rae artistic aud of more perfect finish, lanka to the progress.of modern art.: . When the President of t United States .steps aboard-a vesl, be lt steam launch or lnan-o'-waiplensure boat or troop ship, there floafrom the main a flag .of-hew deslgi Not all new, hut so changed that nny who have for nearly forty years en famil iar with the President's-liner will :|ueslion the ownership of tl hue new uno. The design on the flag is I changed excepting' the "crest." It ally isn't n crest at all, according heraldry technicalities. The sunburabove the eagle's head in the Amorli cont-of nnr?a bad to have a title, ?HBO "crest" ls its signification. But tlrolors are changed, and, ninny bclievmuch for Hie belier. The Preside* flag, in [>]nin 'Tidied Sta!es."- ftc coat-of !irms of the United Statem a blue held The President's flag is a century-oli Institution, and has practically been ?j 'existence ever since there has bdrm i nation. With the consent of the President thi design Is now a pure white eagle, it: fe1 fP?i ? V A THE ORIGINAL CHEST. feathers heavily outlined with black, the constellation In white, with the mys In heavy stitching of yellow on a blue ground. This (Ins i? of bunting, fourteen by ten and one-half feet, for outdoor use, and of heavy taffeta silk, I .gold thread and embroidery, for Indoor decoration. The President's flag ls used only at sea. Printing I? l'eraln. Printing from tj-pc in Persia Is not regarded with popularity. This coun try is at the present day entirely de bgndent upon lithography for thc na ^tfVe production of books and Journals jsyhtch are very rare. A short time ago a press with movable types was set np, and upon which a certain number of books was printed. Thc effort, how, ?ever,.met with no encouragement and .had to be abandoned. The unpopular ity of type-printing in Persia is due to two principal causes: First, the straightness of the lines offends a Per sian's nrtlstic sense, and, secondly, In printed: books the character of the let ters is entirely lost. The Persian reader prefers a well-written manu script, n nd, failing this, he contents himself with a lithograph, which is us- j haily the facsimile of the writing of some fairly good scribe.-Scientific American. i - En^lluli of I.onR ARO* The King's English has changed aq kings have come and gone. Here Hi a passage from the record of a crown ing of long ago: "The Cardinall, av (true) and riglitfull, and uuuuumc? heritour by the lawes of Cod and mau to the corouue and rotuli dignit? of England, with all things thereunto en nexed and nppertcynlng, electe, chosen, and required by all three estats of the j same laud to take yppon him the said coroune and roiall dignit?, wbenippon ye shall vnderstnnd that this dale Is prefixed and appoynted by ail the piers of this land for the consecraci?n, en vncclon, and coronaci?n of Ihe said most excellent Prince Henry; will'ye, assentes to thc same consecraci?n, envncclon, and coronaci?n?' Where uiito the peple shall saie, with a great? Voice, 'Yo. Ye. So be hit. King Hen ry! King Henry!'"-St. James's.-Ga zette. Tho Now Chlneso Minister. Slr Liang Chang, the new Chinese en voy to this country, Is a many-sided man. He ls thirty-nine years old, and was one of the 120 students sent by China, beginning . in 1872. to learn American ways. Ile entered Amherst College, but was unable to graduate be cause of recall by bis Government. He was an expert catcher and pitcher on the baseball nines at Phillips and Am herst. He is fond of society, anti is un entertaining conversationalist. It re mains to be seen whether he can.. m>- j preach thc retiring minister Wu tts un j after-dinner speaker. Slr Liang Is * ! widower. . - ...- ? A <?r?-nt Crop. Potatoes form the world's groat ni; j single crop. 4,000,000,000 bushels belting i produced annually, equal in bulk to jtlV? j entire wheat and cora crops. There are no habilitai Inebriates lu J Montrose, Scotland, report? Hie ebie? j constable of that town. 1 i THE NEW JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT. 1 i Judge Oliver Weudell Holmes, the sou of the author of "The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table," was boru in Boston in 1841. After graduating at Har * vartl he entered the law, and then took active part in the Civil War. In 1882 Pl wk My. ne became Associate Justice of the Massachusetts Supreme Court, and In 1S97 became Chief Justice. He has just been appointed by the President to luceeed Justice Cray as a member of the United States Supreme Court. Improved Wheelbarrow. A wheelbarrow with ball bearings las been put on ibo market by an Ohio BALIJ BEAIUXGS FOB W?IEELBABBOW. oncern. The ball cups are made of old rolled steel and "each contains * The tray is larger High Fees For r ii yuk-ian*. The coronation baronetcy conferred on Sir Frederick Tr?ves will not be the great surgeon's only reward for his successful conveyance of King Edward VII. "out of danger." For his foin weeks' attendance at Sandringham anc recovery of the King from typhoid fever in 1871, Slr William Gull received $50,000, as well as the dignity of baro net. Twice this amount was paid t< Slr Morell Mackenzie for his treatment of the late Emperor Frederick of Ger many, and in addition he was pre sen ted with the Order of tile Rei Eagle. The doctors who attendee Queen Victoria in her last.illness re inn... . :he labor of pushing is reduced nny )or cont. The Law'* Delny. Have patience, and the law will see /ou righted, even inough you may have Main for a century dead." An amused ..orrespondent, according to the London Chronicle, found the other morning In his letter box a notice from the Bank ruptcy Court, inviting application for a .third and final dividend of 2Vid. in :he pound." The bankruptcy occurred u the reign of William iv. and the lebt was owing to our correspondent'* father, who had been dead Cor sixty rears. How many of the other cr?dit as can be traced to-day. we wonder? But think of the bulldog tenacity, her itage of our unrivaled race, that fol lowed up that twopence farthing, for ave aud sixty years and got lt at last. The Strength of I.enther Helta. It has been shown by testing that beliing made from the middle of the bide is much stronger than that made from the shoulders. A double belt, made altogether of middles, stood a strain of 80,000 pounds per foot of width, while one made from shoulders would hardly stand 15,000 pounds. A Record Salmon. Tiie salmon shown in the above pic ture was caught in the River Ewe. Rosshire, Scotland, with a Oy. Ii measured four feet long and weighed tifty pounds, being said to be th? ; largest salmon ever caught with a roi in that part of Scotland. The astronomer who discovers a ne*.\ star has reason to be proud of his good looks. BLACKBIRD'S CASTLE ON THE ISLAND OF ST. THOMAS The old castle of Blackboard, the famous buccaneer and pirate, Still stands on the heights overlooking the harbor and town of St. Thomas, in thc West Indies, lt was here he kept his wife or Avives, and rumor has it that slight cause wnasulliHoiit to ?mint mie ??among tim missing. On thu stairs av\\\ walls lending lo tin? lipperSlorlt's are still shown the red bloodstains where tlM i Old villain smashed-one ol' his many wive? to death. . I THREE AGES OF WOMAN. At Jlfteeu. Uko an oponing bud, j? The maiden fair is aeen; And she would have the world believe That she Is full eighteen. Nest, by the time that thirty years Their steady courso have run, She then would have us understand She is but twenty-one. I Time rolls around, her girlhood friends* Aro nothing moro but nam^s, 'rhough sh?j has seen but ninety years, A century she claims. -New York Tiutea. HUMOROUS. Wigwag-How did you get along1 abroad, noe knowing any of the lan guages? Newrkh-Oh, money talks. Tom-If I stole one kiss what would you think of me? May-Not much; I have little sympathy for petty larceny. .Stubb-There goes a man who is full of mystery. Penn-You don't say! Stubb-Yes, he just ate a bowl of chop sucy. Nell-At any rate, I shall never be disappointed in love. Belle-How do you know? Nell-I'm going to marry for money. More cruelty-"I make it a rule," he said, "to learn something every day." "My!" she replied. "How fast ' you must forget." Timid Suitor-I wish to ask for your daughters hand, sir. Father-You might as well take the entire daugh ter, young man. Mistress (to newly engaged cook) And now, what shall we call you? Cook-Well, mum, me name is Bertha, but me friends all calls me Birdie. The youth-I think Bessie Billus is as pretty as'she can be. Don't you? The Maider-Oh, yes; if she could think of any way to make herself prettier you can bet she'd try it "His attentions to you have been marked, have they not?" said the young woman's experienced friend. "Oh yes. He has never taken the price tag off any of his presents." Clara (to her old chum)-And that horrid Jones boy that used to pester you with his love-making-does he worry you as much as ever? Ethel Well, hardly; you see, we'er married now. Cassidy-Shtop luckin' about yer hard luck, man! Some mornin' ye'll wake up an' find yersel' famous. Casey-Faith, 0*11 bet ye whin thot mornin'. comes 'twill be me luck to overslapc mesel'. Bizzer-It makes my wife angry when I refuse to let her have the last word in an argument. Buzzer-Why don't you let her have the last word? Bizzer-Wei), then she says I am afraid to argue with her. Influences Which Render It a Product of Culture. The moulding influences which render the patrician nose to some ex tent a product of culture seem mainly, traceable to a close association which exists between certain muscles at tached to the more flexible parts o? the nose and those in the immediato neighborhood. Nowhere is the last ing mark of dominant mental habits more plainly seen than in the muscles about the mouth. They are contin ually in action when we exercise the will-either in self-control or in at tempts to control other men or things, and every time they come into play they give a chastening tug at our noses. Finally it may be said that, for the maintenance of a patrician nose at its best, a well balanced mind Is almost as necessary as carefulness in outward behaviour. Its chastity of tint and outline is endangered, not only by high living and low thinking, but also by the habitual and unre strained indulgence of emotions, gen erally deemed innocent, and even laughable. These, through their strange secondary influence up on :thc nerves which regulate the circulation and nutrition of the skin of the face, are quite capable of inducing a certain coarseness of expression curiously akin to that induced by indulgence in vicious pleasures. Herein, perhaps, may be foiled some sort of crude and general recipe for an aristocratic nose, which is offered., in all good faith but with no absolute warranty-to every one with good powers of mental assimilation. There can be no doubt that the or dinary plebian nose, with its some what low bridge, concave profile and wide nostrils, is, above all others, the nose which is proper to mankind. All other types are developed from lt. Even now the whole human species, of whatever race, possesses it in early iDfancy.-Blackwood's Magazine. HU Idea nf Old Acc. The idea of old age is relative, 'de pending on one's point of view A New Yorker, imprisoned In a "tonsor ial studio," fell victim to the garrul ousness of the "artist" executioner, and was informed that the latter, re cently married, was about to set forth on a visit to the old country. "I suppose you'll take your wife along," suggested the victim help lessly. "No sir. I'm not going for pleasure this time. I want to see my father before he dies." ( "Isn't he well?" "Oh, be's well enough; but one never can tell what may happen. He's getting along in years." "How old is bc?" "Forty-nine."-New York Post A kitten bas been brought up on an exclusively vegetable diet by a family of vegetarians. The result is that it will not touch animal food and it pays no attention io rais or mice.