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THE NATIONAL BANK OF AUGUSTA
L. C. HAYNS, IWt F. G. FORD, Cashier.
J Capita!, $250,000?
Facilities of our mapnlflcont Now Yanlt
ontalulng 410 t-afety-Lock Hosea. Differ
font Sizes are offered to our patrons and
the public at 93.00 to $10.00j>er annum.
L. C. Ha jue,
Chas, C. Howard,
EDGEFIELD. S. C.. WEDNESDAY. MAKCH ll. 1903.
MAN AND H
I When a fellow's kin? of wobWy and uncer
tain on his feet,
And bas to work like sixty for to get both
tnds to tri?e:
When bo's not of tenon account and hos to
tako what hu can get
The poople dou'i wm'j liockin' to be friends
u -of his, you bet !
Thoy don't come savin' "Old chap, I'm tho
only friend you've got ! "
And " It.-ruembiT tbat we'ro brothers," and
that kind of totnur.yrot
Ho, iadbed !
And they don't got jealous over you when
friends aro what yon need.
If a fellow's kind of Jonesome and would
like u friend or two
Just to come aronui and jolly bim when
*" things are iookia' blue;
If the shin that ho's wearin' ls the only one
And he ncvor c-howcd the public that ho's
, t , ? really on tho spot,
$ THE PROFESS?
"Prof. McVint regrets that, owing to
his absence from town, his lecture on
'The Aspirate in Greek' is unavoidably
- v This was the-notice that greeted, th:
crowd of students as they surged in
one mass to class room No. 20 on the
morning of June 5, some two or three
"Hello! what's the meaning of this?"
said Pennington. "The old fellow was
here as late at 10 o'clock last night,
for I was with him at the science pic
nic yesterday, and it was after 10 by
the time we got back. He's gone off
"Perhaps he hadn't time to get his
lecture ready," suggested one.
"More likely his mother 's dead,"
"Ten to one he's in love, and gone
off to pop the question," ?dded a third.
At this there was a general laugh, in <
which you would have joined if you
had known the professor. Tall, lean
and angular, with a decided stoop, and
eyes that were screwed up almost to
vanishing point, he was hardly the :
personage with whom to associate any
idea of the tendar passion. His age, i
too, was against him, though no one 1
knew exactly what that age was. If :
you saw him walking home from col- ?
lege along the esplanade you put him
down at 50, but when you saw his face ?
aglow with enthusiasm as he lectured 1
on the beauties cf the Greek particles
you changed your mind and said he
might be 30. i
Anyhow, he was not popular. His :
dry Scotch humer was net appreciated i
-it very often bit too deeply into the ?
feelings of his. victim to be pleasant, ;
and all who came beneath the lash of
his tongue bore him no small grudge :
for what he made them suffer. Then !
he lived absolutely apart from college
life, not oven mixing with the other
members of the staff. Consequently he
knew little of what was passing around 1
him, and was given credit for knowing i
-atm l-?r . --_._]
He had never been known to miss a
lecture; even when one morning he
found on his arrival at college that
his class roora had been burned out in
.I -the night he calmly remarked to the
- crowd of students near the door. "I ?
think, ladies and gentlemen, with your ?
permission, we will deliver our lecture ]
in the corridor." No wonder, therefore, <
that there was no small stir when this j
historic notice stared the world un- ?
blushingly in the face. ]
"I wonder what it can be," said Eva <
Miller to her friend. Jemima Bates, as \
they turned slowly from the class room ;
door and walked away down the cor- ]
ridor. "Poor man, I am afraid there is' <
something wrong; acd he has no one j
to look after him or dc things for him. <
It seems a very lonely life." (
** "Oh, he is perfectly happy in his i
work," replied Jemima; "he doesn't 5
want any one to look after him." Jem- "1
ima judged all men (and women) by j
her own feelings, which is a danger- j
ous thing to do. ]
"I don't know," said her companion <
doubtfully. "However, it's no concern (
of'mine, so I'm off to the tennis field ?
.Had she only known that it was a 1
very great concern of hers she would ]
have given- the matter a little more 1
The previous day, as young Penning
ton had said, had been the science pic- 1
nie. Much to the surprise of everybody, <
th,e professor finally accepted his invit- <
atlbri-though he wrote first of all de
clining. A perusal of the list of in- ?
vited "arts" was the cause of his ]
change of mind. The fact was Prof.
McVint was in love-it had taken some :
time to convince him of the fact, and 1
he had argued it out pro and con with
himself in every imaginable way. But 1
from the conclusion he could not es- 1
cape; whatever his premises, the de- :
duction invariably came out: '"Hiere- \
fore, I love her."
He began to notice it first in this
way: Into h: ; mind as he was busy in ]
the preparation of his lectures, there ?
would creep the surreptitious thought, ?
"What will she think of this? How ]
will she take that?" Then he found 1
himself thanking Providence that by 1
ita. kindly ordering the lady students ?
sat in the front row during lectures, ?
and, therefore, more within range of ?
his somewhat limited vision. The next ;
thing that he was conscious of was that ?
he was hunting high and low in hi3 1
room for a pair of glasses far stronger
than those he generally used and not ?
at all necessary for mere reading pur- 1
poses. Two or three times he lost his
place in his notes and stood confused
and put to shame before the class, a 1
thing that had never happened before
in all his experience. Finally he came
to the conclusion that the tie Which ?
' he had been wearing when the senior ?
student was a freshman, and which he ;
had worn ever since, was a little the <
worse for wear and must be replaced,
and then what he had long suspected
broke fully on his mind. Such a whole- :
.sale revolution could mean but one ;
Thus it came to pass that on notic
ing the name of Eva Miller among *
. those invited to the picnic the profes
.sor-suddenly changed his mind. He was 1
a man of few words and prompt deeds. '
1 He Would try his luck that very day.
To describe his feelings during the
:drivc to the sccno cf action would be ?
impossible. Strangely out of place in
the middle of the chattering crowd, dis- 1
^ tasting his own powers and yet so
They don't come crowdin' round him, nor
stick out their hands and say:
"We'ro your friends, old man, wo lovo you;
we've the same blood, anyway ! "
No, indeed !
But they watch to give tho boot to you when
friends are what you need.
When things have got to comln' as a fellow
wants 'em to,
When his pockets aro all bulgin' and his
clo's are fino and new,
When he stops out proud and lordly and
ain't got a thing to fear,
There's a sudden chango comes over folks
that used to wink and sneer.
They come runuin' then to tell you that
they're all your friends, and say
That they've always been dead anxious for
to help you out some way
Yes, indeed !
Frionds are always mighty plentiful when
friends ain't what you need.
W'S REVENGE. %
bold as to amaze himself, the profes
sor sat alone and neglected in a corner
of the brake. The kindness of heaven,
however, aided a little by *.he cunning
of man had placed the object of his ad
oration almost opposite him. So, while
he gazed blankly into space, and was
supposed by any one who gave him a
passing thought to be elaborating a
new treatise on "The Particles," he
could all the time feast his eye unob
served on the vision of beauty not two
Lunch eaten, the whole party broke
up and scattered in all directions, as
parties will do till the end of time.
Now was his opportunity; he would
follow the group containing his idol at
a little distance, and surely he would
get a chance of speaking with her
alone before long.-Keeping the group
in sigbt and himself out of it, he
dawdled and hung about, as is the way
of people who are doing their best not
to overtake a friend a little way ahead.
He walked forward, then back a bit,
then on again, then back, then stood
stock still for a few moments, pretend
ing to use his watch as a compass,
and chen, finding that some one had
been watching his maneuvers with un
feigned interest, bolted straight ahead
is if he were shot from a gun. In less
than two minutes he was upon the
sroup, but, alas! his eyes had played
him false again, and she was not there.
What did he want with Jemima Bates?
Having tried to explain his sudden
swoop down on those unprotected fe
males, and having dismally failed
?herein, he turned aside, sick at heart,
and entered a small plantation of
young trees. A narrow footpath led
through this, and as he nsared the
stile that opened on the fields beyond
he saw two figures leaning against it.
Another moment showed him Eva Mil
ier and young Pennington deep in con
versation and oblivious cf ah around.
Quietly and unobserved he turned baot,
md on reaching bia? rooms that night
b.e^ilflJij?JajTillaflylJie^b^d ^SLZO. away
by the early train for two or three
days. Hence tl .t notice on the class
The professor's dream was over;
there was but one thing left -evenge,
md the professor settied down to plan
md scheme how best to obtain it. Pen
nington was reading with him for a
classical scholarship at Oxford, so the
professor saw the way quite clear. In
stead of one hour extra in the evening,
iie gave his pupil two, and sometimes
;ven more, out of his own valuable
Lime. He looked up all his old notes
md helps, and lent them to his enemy;
ie corrected all his work with especial
:-are and went to thc trouble of writ
ing out model answers for his pupil to
:opy. In short, painstaking and thor
ough as Prof. McVint had always been,
ie had never taken such pains or used
>uch thorough methods with a pupil
jefore. Nothing was too much trouble
"or him. "At any rate," he used to
nurmur to himself, as deep in his
icart he nursed his revenge, "if she
:an't marry me she shall marry one
jf the best students Oxford and this
place ever turned out."
And when eighteen months later thc
lews came that Guy Pennington had
Dulled off the top "schol," at Balliol
:he professor's revenge was complete,
md his satisfaction knew no bounds.
"Congratulate you most heartily, Mc
Vint," said Dr. Smithers, the physics
iemonstrator, "one of youi best suc
cesses; won't Miss Miller be glad!"
"Oh, nonsense," returned the profes
sor, "no credit due to me at all. A fel
low with brains like that could get any
thing, no matter who prepared him.
But"-with a sign-"I'm very glad for
"Yes," answered the doctor, breezily,
"she always was proud of her brother.
Good morning, McVint!" and he was
;one like a shot. The professor stood
rooted to the ground. Her brother! Her
brother! What could it all mean?
And then was seen a sight such as
never before was witnessed by gods or
men. Students on their way to college
stopped, amazed. Amiable old gentle
men out for their constitutional forgot
:heir amiability, and swore horribly as
they were rudely hustled and pushed
aside; elderly females screamed, "Hi!
Stop thief!" butchers' boys whistled
md cackled; servant girls craned their
heads out of windows; little dogs bark
?d and yelped for pure delight; and all
the universe stood still, as Prof. Mc
Vint, gathering up the skirts of his
ample gown, flew down the length of
the esplanade in pursuit of thc unsus
"Brother, did you say," he burst out,
as he cought that worthy by the arm;
"did you say he was her brother?"
Smithers stared blankly at him for
a moment. "Oh, I had forgotten," he
said, looking around with an annoyed
air. "What a fuss about nothing! Of
course I said brother though he is real
ly only her step-jrother, Pennington's
father died soon after he was born,
and his mother subsequently married a
Miller. I thought everybody knew that.
But what di?j.erence docs it make?"
That was a question the professor
declined to answer. What difference?
Why, this difference-that before 10
o'clock that evening the professor had
told Miss Miller of the episode of the
stile (among other things), and she
had laughingly said: "You poor dear,
and so you really ihought Guy and I
were lovers. You see. even professors
don't known everything. And to think
we have wasted eighteen months!"
What the professor said in reply,
history does not record-Black and
SCOOPING UP FISHE?
Lured by a Headlight, They Are
Poured or. Board in a Steady Stream.
Thc houseboat Atlantic, built ex
pressly for thz purpose of catching fish
by drawing them to thc net by means
of a light, lies at the foot of Henry
street. The Atlantic hails from Norfolk,
Va., and was brought up hero to have
steam power installed.
Her owner and master is Capt. W.
E. Cole, the patentee of a unique meth
od of applying the long-known fact
that a jight attracts fish. Last season
the Atlantic operated In the waters
near Norfolk, and proved a veritable
gold mine to her owner. The novelty
of thc plan excited the curiosity of the
guests at the hotels at Old Point, and
Capt. Cole t^ok them out for the night
when they would have a chance to seo
the Atlantic's strange apparatus at
work. As many as fifteen passengers
could be taken on these trips and they
paid the running expenses of the boat
' "You see," said Capt. Cole, "the idea
of attracting fish by means of a light
is nothing new. Stand under a light
near thc water and you can see for
yourself that the fish flock to lt. They
may retreat from the light, but as
soon as they reach the" dark they will
To draw the unwary fish to his boat
Capt. Cole had a powerful headlight,
of 4000 candle power placed in the
bow near the water. Experience has
proved that a headlight similar to
those used on locomotives is the best
suited for the purpose. The past sum
mer Capt. Cole tried a searchlight, but
it threw its rays parallel and they lay
"like a log on the water."
Thc headlight spreads the rays over
a wedge-shaped surface. All the while
the fishing is going on the Atlantic is
driven through the water at the rate of
four or five miles an hour.
In front of his craft Capt. Cole has
another boat which floats the far, or
wide end of a funnel-shaped net. The
net he used was 18 feet at the mouth,
tapering back to about 2 feet, and
four feet high. The rear or narrow
encl of the net is supported by a stage,
which gives a place for the workmen
to stand, for the apparatus needs sev
eral men to attend it. Behind tho nar
row end of the scoop net is a recep
tacle into which the fish fall. From
there the catch can be dipped up with
hand nets and passed to the men on
tho rear boat, who sort over the Ash
throwing back those under size and
storing the rest away.
By propelling the boat when the
fishing is going on a constant stream
of Ash, drawn to the trap by the light,
is forced out of the end of the net by
their efforts to reach the light and the
motion of the vessel. When the inven
tion is got to work the Ash pour in like
hailstones, and it requires eight or ten
men to dispose of them.
To facilitate the handling of the
catch Capt. Cole has invented a sort of
conveyer, similar in principle to the
machines used to elevate coal, ore, dirt
or other material. Capt. Cole's inven
tion is made of net, and lifts the Ash
from thc rear end of ths scoop to the
boat behind. Ey placing paddlewheels
in front of his vessel, which is driven
through the water by her engines, the
power that drives the conveyer is ob
tained. If it is impracticable to use this
device, power from the engines can
drive the conveyor.-Baltimore Herald.
QUAINT AND CURIOUS.
Specimens of four. Ave,, six, seven,
eight and nine-leaved clovers have
been prescted to Queen Alexandra by
a Welsh lady.
Waler is so scarce in the Japanese
island ol" Oshiraa that it is thc custom
for a bride to take a large tub of
drinking water with her to her new
home as a kind of dowry.
On the south coast of England there
is a holel in which a tropical tempera
ture is constantly maintained by
means of ?team pipes. The guests are
mostly pensioned officials and officers
who spent so many years in India that
they cannot endure the climate of
The most crooked railway in the
world is ene from Boswell to Friedens,
Pa.i the air line distance being five
miles. The road doubles on itself
four times, and at one point, after
making a loop of about five miles, the
road comes back to within 300 feet of
itself on a grade 50 feet lower.
A peasant in the Swiss canton of
Zurich, on a recent morning, found in
his stable a stork that had apparently
heen left behind by his companions on
their way to Africa. Thc bird, which
seems to feel quite at home with the
other animals, goes out tor a walk
when the sua shines, reluming to tho
stable in the evening.
Chinese doctors are very particular
about thc distinction between physi
cians and surgeons. A Chinese gentle
man was struck by an arrow which
remained fast in his body. A surgeon
was sent for, and broke off the pro
truding bit of the arrow, leaving the
point embedded. He refused to ex
tract it, because the case was clearly
one .for a physician, the arrow being
inside the body.
A Viennese engineer has construct
ed a small sailing yacht made entirely
of sheels of an Austrian daily paper.
Thc yacht is 15 feet long and three
feci. wide, is decked ?all over- and is
provided with a centreboard. The
hull, deck, masts, sails and rudder are
all o<" paper. Thc inventor has made
many trips on the Wocrth See, in Ca
rinthia, and has proved that his paper
boat can sail rapidly and safely even
when the water is rough and the wind
"Do you think that women arc as
brave as men?"
"Braver," answc?ed Miss Cayenne.
"You will observe that, the scientists
who keep talking with terror about the
bacilli in a kiss are all males."-Wash
An albatross has been known to fol
low a ship for tw>> months without
over being seen to alight.
Kew York surgeons, hampered In th
where there is no electric power, 1
obtaining their power from th
mobiles. Thc wires are ca
mobile in the street
Resting Places of Alen Killed in Jap
anese Blood Feuds.
Scattered through the mountain dis
tricts of Japan there are many little
stone tombs, carved in thc conventional
Buddhist design of tile cube, pyramid
and sphere superimposed, and situated
in peculiar places-some lu the midst
of fields, some by the banks of streams,
and some In the rocky beds, of dried
up rivers. They are tho vendetta
feather grass which covers hilltop and
valley for many miles, and which is
cut only by the narrowest of foot
paths, worn by generations of.moun
The Hakone country folk tell the
story of how, some ninety years ago,
the two young mon, who were buried
tombs of men killed in blood feuds
and burled by their surviving relatives
or friends at the places where they
The double tomb In the illustration
ls of two brothers who met death in
a romantic manner on the mountains
of the Hnkone district, near Lake Ila
koncr, and who were buried in the
midst of the vast rolling expanse of
A JAPANESE VENDETTA TOMB.
beneath the feather grass, were sons
of a retainer of tbe local feudal lord.
How the feudal lord killed the retaiuer
and appropriated his wife, taking her
to Kyoto, very many miles away,
where the Emperor held court. At
which the two sons swore vengeance
and followed to Kyoto, arriving there
after much hardship and many adven
tures. In Kyoto they found the feudal
lord of their district and killed him
decently and quietly and then fled back
to Hakoncr. On this mountainside,
however, they were overtaken by thc
Emperor's men and died after a most
brilliant battle, which is still sung by
local bards to-dny. At the place where
they foll together they were buried by
the mountaineers, and late a night, if
you should happen to pass over the
narrow footpath that runs by their
MONUMENT TO THE MEMORY OF NANCY
LINCOLN. ERECTED ABOVE HER GRAVE A
-From Harper's Weekly,
o uss of the X-rays in private houses,
liave recently devised the scheme of
? storage batteries of their auto
rriel! direct from the auto
to the patient's room.
tombs, you could, lt is said, hear the
faint clash of swords and the voices of
the two brothers cabing to one another
to stand firm and strike hard.-New
Remarkably curious is a device
wt?ich will interest military men. It
is an apparatus for technical gun prac
tice, and it consists of a gun-support,
a pointer, a bull's eye mark, an auto
matic clamp and tripping arrangement.
The support and pointer have uni
versal joint supports, and are so con
nected with each other that parallel
ism of thc pointer is maintained with
the deviating line of the gun sight.
The bull's eye mark is located In the
line which the pointer occupies
when the gun is truly sighted, and
there is also' an adjustable mirror,
which is used for bringing tho images
of the pointer and the hull's eye within
the visual range of the instructor.
When thc trigger ls pulled the auto
matic clamp serves to lock the parts
In the proper positions, and the clamp
Itself is held In readiness for action
by means of setting devices.
To those Ignorant of the art of war
it seems rather a complicated mechan
ism, but soldiers will at once see its
Editor to Bc Envied.
No wonder tho city editor envies his
country brothers. Said one of the lat
ter at a press association meeting re
cently: "I have an income of .$1200 a
year. I pay no oilice or house rent.
My provisions cost me little. I travel
whenever and wherever I please. The
commercial agencies rate me nt from
$5000 to $7000. I have no worries, no
debts. At least two days of the week
I need do no work unless I wish."
Took Moro Space.
One of the proofs that newspaper ad
vertising pays is the fact that the pub
lishing house which first adopted mod
ern display methods to advertise books
has Increased the amount of its news
paper space every year.
HANKS LINCOLN, MOTHER OF ABRAHAM
T LINCOLN CITY. INDIANA
An Improved Pe vice For the Oculist's
A self-luminous retinoscope has been
recently devised by Dr. Henry L. De
Zelig, of Now York, which promises
to be very valuable to the oculist. Ac
cording to the New York Herald the
improvement consists of combining an
electric lamp of special construction
with thc device which bas been in use
WASHINGTON IN 1785. AGE
From the original marble, in the SI
don caine to th.s country to model Wi
dered by the State of Virginia. He on
day night, October 2, 17S?, and rema li
studying his host's pose, action nnd pl
mold of Washington's face, head and
accurate mensurcments of the entire f
life-size statue within the contract til
pince ready for Its reception, it wns i
when it wns placed where lt is no^
seems to have paralyzed tho power of
delineate him. Even the great Houdon
of the mau, nnd tims hus overcrowded 1
the sword, the ploughshare nnd the 1
and simple dignity of the figure, until
the "Father of His Country" required !
awkwardness knew not what to do wi
artistic qualities of the head are bey<
of comparison for all other portraits.
for examining the interior of the eye
by rcllectiug a beam of light into its
The incandescent lamp used in the
uew instrument has the smnllest light
filament ever.made. It ls only one
one-hundredth part of nu Inch In
length. Tho average 10-eaudle-powor
lamp has a filament of from five to six
inches in length; but this wonderful
little lamp gives, proportionately, more
than twenty times ns powerful n light.
By an ingenious arrangement of
lenses nnd reflectors the light from
this tiny lamp, which ls deftly incased
in and mnde n part of tho instrument,
ls accumulated nnd projected as a
Everyone lins seen an electric search
light-how the mys of light cut the
darkness like a sword of fire. The
light from this new instrument is
really a small and powerful search
light adapted so as to reveal the hid
de"n visual errors of the eye.
With this new self-luminous retino
scope the benin of light, modified to
any brilliancy, mny be thrown into
the humnn eye. The light entering the
pupil of the eye does not cnuse lt to
nppear luminous, but thc light th?t the
retina of thc eye reflects ' nek through
the refracting system ot the eye onuses
luminosity. The optical expert using
this instrument almost instantly deter
mines the variation from normal, or
perfect, sight nnd cnn prescribe with
marvelous exactitude thc form of
glasses needed. .
Fruit Culture In ICngJnnri.
In the very near future we nro hop
ing to see n great rivalry of hardy fruit
culture in England, for this question Is
coming to the notice of the people, ?ind
when our small capitalists have been
sufficiently bilton by American and
foreign "wild cuts," then wc may hope
that the land ol' old England may have
some attention.-The Fruit Grower.
Hopeful IT Vain.
Sfost of tho mon who own flying ma
chines ure holding them fm^rt-isc.
Vials, the Uses of Which Are Known
io Few Er.ro7.ean0.
The quaint frisaos or bottles depicted
In the accompanying photograph are
two rare Perfilan tear glasses of a
beautiful blue color, standing thirteen
inches high, and having a like circum
ference at tho thickest part. Although
it Is pretty generally known that wid
ows in Persia collect-their tears in
glasses to spiaukle on their husbands'
graves, yet, says a contributor to t!io
? v-t.5 ?2?Sf& 'it
Strand Magazine, such glasses are hy
no means common, and very few Eu
ropeans, however long they have re
sided in the country, or however ex
tensively they have traveled therein,
have seen them, or, having seen thom,
have guessed to what purpose they
are put. This is chiefly due to the
fact that only nntivcs:a're allowed lo lie
present on tho groat ' occasion when
widows-or, for the matter of that, mon
also-shed tears profusely, viz., the
'.Tazich," or religious play to cou*
53. MODELLED BY KOUDON.
ate Capitol, Richmond, Virginia. Hou
lshingfon from life for tho statue or
.ived at Mount Vernon late ou a Sun
ned Washington's guest a fortnight,
lysiognomy. While there he made a
tho upper part of the body, and took
rame. From those ho completed the
ne of three years; but lhere beiug no
jot delivered until the spring of 1700,
?v. Washington's supremo manhood
many of the artists who undertook to
essayed to convoy too completo an idea
lis statue with symbolism. The cane,
fasces take away from the majesty
one might irreverently suppose that
i support on either side, or in boyish
th his hands. The truthfulness and
md criticism, and must be the canon
mem?rate the deaths of Hassan and
Russian, the sons of Ali. considered by
Persians and ail Shiah Mohammedans
to be the rightful successors of Ma
homet thc Prophet. The drama setting
forth the courage and resignation of
the martyrs, tile sufferings ol' their lit
tle children and the heroism ol' their
followers moves the audience to sob
as if their hearts would break. The
women cover their heads with straw
to represent the sands of the desert;
the mon make bare and smite their
breasts; some strike themselves over
the bare shoulders with heavy chains;
others cut their heads with swords
and knives; the track of the cortege on
the tenth day, when frenzy runs high'
est, is marked with blood.
An Indiana Golden fioose.
There are two birds to which one is
tempted to compare a specimen of In
diana poultry which was killed last
week. One hs Aesop's goose that laid
the golden eggs, tho other the Christ
mas goose in the crop of which Sher
lock Holmes found tho famous blue
carbuncle. Tho janitor of a building
In Indianapolis entered if "goose raffle''
and Avon tho capital prize, .which was
still alive. He bought ton cents' worth
. of corn, which the goose ate, and thou
he killed the creature. His wife
dressed the bird and roasted it in tin;
familiar manner. So far all was nor
mal. Tho wonders began when she
mixed tho gravy. Chittering particles
appeared In thc bottom of tho pan.
She scraped thom together and her hus
band took them to the jeweler, who
pronounced them gold. Ono can imag
ine the careful way that goose was
oaten. Every slice and sliver was ex
amined before it was swallowed. Urie
and there ibo collide found moro gold,
like the pearls of price which every
one expects some day lp di ?coyer in i
his oysters. The janitor is now irving
to discover ibo family history o'f lh?*t
goose. If ho succeeds in tracing it
J nick tho quotations fer poultry in tho 1
neighborhood of tho bird's ancestral
homo aro likely to bo high.-Now York
Alack for the lay of the indolent man,
He's built on an unsatisfactory plan;
Weary of risiDg when morn is aglow,
Weary of hearing tho ice water go,
Into the bath tub with ominous flow,
Weary of fried eggs and weary of ham,
Weary alike of the oyster and clam,
Weary of water and weary of bread,
Weary of drinks that ascend to the head,
Weary of roadine: tho old paragraphs,
Weary of news items, weary of laughs,
"Weary of novols und weary of plays,
Weary of nights and weary of days,
Weary of smiles and weary of frowns.
Weary of mountains and weary of towna;
'Tis useless to chide when he chooses, to
Can you blame him for being too weajv to
"People call me flighty." she said.
"Do they?" said he. "Then fly with
'Considerate Little Girl-Please, Mr.
Keeper, wil it hurt the elephant if I
give him a currant out of my bun?
"There is something, darling, I
?want to tell you." "Oh, then, let us go
away from the rubber plant. Come,
tell me under the rose."
'"Some folks." said Uncle Eben, "is
so anxious 'bout de future dat dey sits
aroun' worryin' an' lets de present get
clean past wif nuf??u' done."
"Hallwood's wife has such a sour
disposition." "Yesf and he used to say
she was the apple of his eye." "H'm!
He must have meant a crabapple."
.General-I see here's an article cm
"Revolution in the Mince Pie." Colonel
-That's tho kind of revolution you
like to put down. I suppose, General.
"What would you do if you were to
wake up tomorrow morning and find
yourself famous?" "Lie down again
and sleep till I felt like getting up, for
Bacon-What's that ambulance go
ing at such a speed for, do you sup
pose? Egbert-Why, another ambu
lance went down a few minutes ago
and ran over a man.
Doctor-Your temperature is up to
107. Auctioneer (drowsily)-Hnndred_
an' seven! Hundred an' seven! Goi?gT
going at hundred an' seven! Who'll
make i. a hundred an' eight?
Gertrude (tho big sister)-Maud, I
do wish you'd stop your chattering to
that dog. Can't you see I'm talking to
Mr. Lovedale.- Maud (aggrieved)
Well, I've dot a right to talk to my
"Don't you like thc book?" "No, the
heroine is a most impossible creature."
"Is that so?" "Yes, she doesn't ap
pear to have a single 'gown of some
simple material that enhanced rather
than hid her graceful figure.
"Nov/, then, children," said the
teacher, who had been commenting
upon polar expeditions, "who can. tell
me what fierce animals inhabit the re
gions of the North Pole?" "Polecats,"
shouted the boy at the foot of the
Toss-You and Miss Sere don't
seem to be good friends. What's the
matter? Jess-Why. she remarked
that she was 24 years old. and- Tess
-And you doubted it? Jess-Not at
ail. I merely said, "Of course, but (
A little 3-year-old miss while b**.
mother was trying to get her to j?L ,
became iutcK^i?dTn~?'Tjec?Tr?r noise
and asked what it was. "A cricket,
dear," answered her mother. "Well,
remarked the little lady, "he ought to
get himself oiled."
Little Mike (at his lessons)-I-m-im
p-i-!-e-s, plies, implies. What does dat
mean, pop? Big Mike-Don't ye know
phwat that manes? Phwat good's
y er school in' to ye? Shure, that's
phwat a mon does to ye whin we gives
gives ye a job o' wurk.
.'His retirement from the board was
du'? entirely to his poor health." "Sure
there wasn't a squabble of some sort?"
.'Positive. If there had been a row
tho papers would have been full of in
terviews with the other members ex
pressing their 'cordial appreciation of
his services and their regret, etc' "
The "Sudd" of the White Nile.
A recent number of the Geographical
Journal contains a paper on the "sudd"
of the White Nile, by Dr. Edward S.
Crispin, explaining the method of
opening up the true river bed employ
ed by Major Matthews, who command
ed the Sudd expedition of 1901-1902.
The first difficulty is to find the posi
tion of the river bed; this is done by
probing, the depth suddenly increas
ing to 15 or 2"> feet. Next the top
growth, consisting mostly of papyrus,
is cut down or burnt; and it was noted
that when thc papyrus was fired the
fire frequently spread along what was
afterward found to be the true bed of
the river. Men are then landed on the
clean surface and the sudd cut along
the river banks with saws; next trans
verse cuts are made, dividing the sudd
into blocks of size convenient for the
steamer to tear out The bows of the
steamer are run into the block, and
the loop of a steel hawser, both ends of
which are made fast to the steamer,
is passed over the bo>vs and trodden
into a trench cut on the surface of the
block. The steamer then goes full speed
astern, men standing on the hawser to
keep it in position, and after a number
of trials the block is torn away. The
block is then towed clear and cast
adrift to float down stream, when it
is gradually disintegrated.
The chief growths in the sudd are
papyrus and tiger or elephant grass,
a kind of bamboo growing to a height
of 20 feet or moro. Up these climbs a
creeper of the convolvulus species.
There is also an abundance of am
batch and a long sword grass that cuts
like a knife, known as "oom soof." The
steamer could cut its own way througji
the latter in the presence of a current,
as it. would break up and float down
stream. In the absence of current Vi
does not float away, and obstructs the
steamer by fouling the paddlewh?el.
Another source of obstruction is a very,
light kind of duckweed which jeovers
some of the small open pools.-Nature
"Miss Kitty-Darling," he began.
"Sir," interrupted the young wom
an, "you will oblige me by not paus
ing so long between my first name and
my last."-Chicago Tribune.
About 5000 workmen aro employed
in'the meerschaum ? l-es'bt Turkv.v