Newspaper Page Text
lu 1608 King James published his
famous "Book of Sports" and, thinking
to render the Presbyterian form of
worship less rigid, ordered that cer
tain of the sports therein commended
. should be played in the, several church?
yards every Sunday at the close of
divine'service. John Boss, a minister
of Blairgowrie, adopted a novel method
of withstanding the royal ordinance.
He was a strong, athletic man and
seemed much interested In the recrea
tions enjoined by the monarch. Foot
ball was selected by the parishioners
of Blairgowrie from the list of "Sun
Cay games." When the services of the
church were completed Mr. Boss ap
peared among his people in the church
yard and joined them in their sport
None of the assemblage kicked more
eagerly at the- football than did the
reverend incumbent But constant
misfortune seemed to attend him. Ev
ery kick missed the ball and fell heavi
ly on the ankles of those who stood
near. Apologies were promptly ten
dered and, of course, received, though
evsry Sunday many of the parishion
ers returned home halting. Finally it
was agreed that on account of the
minister's awkwardness the games
should be abandoned. Thus the in
genious divine gamed his end and pre
vented compliance with the obnoxious
Where Greek Met Greek.
The marble clock in the dining room
had just announced in mellow tones
the hour of 3 a. m., when the wife of
the plumber nudged him and whis
"Horace, there's a burglar in the
"There is, hey?" answered the hus
band, BOW thoroughly awake. "I'll see
With cunning stealth he got out of
bed and tiptoed out of the room. For
ten minutes no sound broke the awful
stillness. Then the house shook, with
a. crash. There was a century of si
lence. Then a chair fell, the front dcor
slammed and a heavy bundie thumped
down the front stairs and into the
The terrified wife fainted, to be
brought back to consciousness by the
voice of her husband.
"It's all right dear. I threw him
out" he chuckled as he turned on the
light "But the scoundrel had only
$4.30 in his clothes."-Judge.
How Mayne Reid Won His Brid?.
It was through his novel, "The Scalp
Hunters," that Captain Mayne Beid
won a bride. He was thirty years old
when he met a damsel of thirteen, with
whom he at once fell in love.. The
child took no notice of him, but he
gave her the story to read. Two years
later the young lady was at a public
meeting where Captain Held spoke on
behalf of the Polish refugees. "An
electric thrill seemed to pass through
me as he entered the room," she said
afterward, and when the meeting was
over she went up to him. "I leave for
London on the nert train," he said hur
riedly. "Please send me your ad
dress^_ "I do not know where," she
instantly handed out Ihis^HToT?nd was
gone. A formal little note followed:
"Dear Captain Reid-As you asked me
to send you my ad<lress, I do so." By
return of post came the answer, "Only
say that you love me and I will be
-with, you at once," and then the reply,
.T think I do love yon."
In his declining years the poet Whit
tier was extremely absentminded. He
attended a church meeting where there
were a large number of persons. As
his presence was known., it was deemed
fitting by one of tlie speakers to quote
the poet's lines:
I ksow not where his islands lift
Their fronded, palms in air;
I only know I cannot drift
Beyond his love and care.
Great applause greeted the quotation,
and Whittier wae? noticed to join in,
the handclapping. "I suppose I must
have had my mind on something else.
I had no recollection of having written
the verse," he said apologetically when
his attention was called to the author
Says Sir Henry Maine in his "An
cient Law:" "A legal fiction is the as
sumption which conceals or affects to
conceal the fact that a rule of law has
undergone alteration, its letter remain
lng unchanged while its operation has
been modified. The fact is that the
law has been changed; the fiction is
that lt remains what it always waa."
Columbus Washington Johnson Smith
-Wafs de price er dem watermelons,
Mr. Jackson? t
Mr. Jackson (cunningly)-Ten cents
erpiece and I picks 'em; 20 cents er
plece and yon picks 'em, Mr. Smif.
Mr. Smith-All right Mr. Jackson. I
guesses m take 'em ail, and you picks
'em, ef you please !-Puck.
What He Want.id.
"You are a poor young man?"
""Then what you want is a thrifty,
"Not at aid. What I want is a rich
libera wife." .
"Ifs no fun being married. M j
wife is coming, to me all the time and
asking for money!"
"You're lucky! I have to ask m j
wife always for money when I wan'
Reading In Bed.
"Boya and girls under eighteei
should be strictly forbidden to read ii
bed," says the Lancet on the author
ity of Dr. Hugo Feilchenfeld of Bei
lin, who declares that in the case o
young persons whose eyes are no
fully developed the practice is liker,
to Induce myopia. While young pee
pie run the greatest risk, the Lance
thinks that reading in bed is unde
sirable for persons of any age am
states that "in the case of aged, ans
ions, worried and bedridden people, t
whom it would seem cruelty to den;
what may perhaps be almost thei
only luxury, for fear of Inducing som
slight error of refraction, care shout
be taken that the light ls sufflclentl
brilliant, the eyes being shaded froi
it, and that the patient Hes on b!
back with head and s?Gnl?ers raised.
An Adveesto cf Pur? M?l'.<. *
Nathan sti-?u.;. Ww New Vor!;-mer
chant who has been selected as presi
dent of the'. Bryan and Kern Business
Men's association, ls better known as a
philanthropist than politician. For fif
teen years he has heeu .striving to im
press upon the world the necessity of
a sanitary milk supply and has spent
hundreds of thousands of dollars upon
this and other charitable work.
Through Mr. Straus* efforts plants for
the pasteurizing of milk have been es
tablished in mauy European cities.
The all important plank of Mr.
Straus' platform for Increasing the
physical welfare and prolonging the
lives of human beings is summed up
in this statement: "Neither war, pesti
lence nor famine claims so many vic
tims as impure milk. It ls the.most
terrible foe of humauity. all the more
because lt gives uo outward sign of
the danger. Let us pasteurize our milk
supply. Let us have for our motto.
'Medicine and hospitals are possible
cures, while pasteurization is positive
A natlre of Bavaria. Mr. Straus
came to New York in 1S54 with his
parents when but six years old. He
has accumulated a large fortuue in
Hard and Soft.
"What," asked the teacher, "does
"That's a kind of coal," said little
"Yes. Anthracite coal is what we
call hard coal. So 'anthracite' must
mean 'hard.' Now, can you tell me
what 'bituminous' means?"
.That's coal, too," Willie replied.
"But it isn't the same kind of coal
that anthracite is, is it? Bituminous
coal is what we commonly refer to as
soft coal. Now, Willie, let us see if
you can form a sentence containing
the words anthracite and bituminous."
S?53 'MnH?ijnatter over for a
"Here's one: 'This morning^?e?oW"
pa started downtown ma wanted -.$5
for groceries and things, and she tried
to get it by sayhig bituminous words,
but pa gave her an anthracite look,
and when he disappeared around the
corner she was weeping bitnminous
ly.' "-Atlanta Constitution.
The "Sm rt" Schoolboy.
Modern children";; Intellects seem to
bud and unfold much earlier than they
did a generation or two ago. You of
ten get some rare posers from the
youth who is having his first taste of
schooling. The other morning at break
fast an admiring father asked his bud
ding prime minister how he liked
"Oh, very well, pa, except the mas
ter with the star teeth!"
"Star teeth! Star teeth!" puzzled
the father. "What do you mean by
"Why, you know, pa, those that
come out at night."
The attendant servant maid dropped
the muffins, and pa suddenly found
something o? exceptional interest in
the morning paper.-Edinburgh Dis
To The Planters
There seems to be a c
of the planters to hoi
er prices and we take
them our Warehouse
will store and insure I
cents per bale, per rn?
advances on same.
We have just recei
'.Which are as good as
the most", which we v
to the wagon using pu
We would also state,
cotton-seed, at our Wa
ways find Billie Lott or
Give us a call, and ii
will be no fault of ours
Tlio Mental Jog.
"There is a certain type of person."
said the business mau, "especially in
New York, who seems unable to un
derstand what is said to him-or her
unless the.statement or remark ls pre
fixed by some catchword, usually the
"For instance, 1 have a stenographer
who simply stares at me in dumb
amazement if I say anything to her
without first saying 'Now, listen.' If
I begin to dictate a letter to her she
will not write a word if I forget to
give that mental jog. When I snap
that at her she will scratch like mad.
She is not the only one. The tele
phone girl cannot take a message un
less lt has that prefix. When I nm
out of the office and try to talk over
the wire with her I must always be
. gin, 'Now, listen,' or else she is hope
lessly at sea and seems not to under
stand a. word I say." -New York
. Different In Books.
In the books this Is the way they
"Outside the wind moaned unceasing
ly, its voice now that of a child which
?obs with itself in the night, now that
of a woman who suffers her great pain
alone, as women have suffered since
life began, as women must suffer till
life wears to its weary end. And min
gled with the walling of wind ram fell
-fell heavily, intermittently, like tears
wrung from souls of strong men."
Outside the books we say:
"It's raining."-Alchlson Globe.
The Brakeman's Joke.
"Ran over a cow this morning up
above Coffeyville." said the brakeman
to a reporter.
"How did lt happen?" asked the re
"She was drinking out of a creek
under a bridge," shouted the brakeman
as he swung on to the last car and
went grinning out of town.-Kansas
JImson-Where's your wife? Haven't
seen ber often lately. Weed-Oh, 1
sent her away on a little vacation.
JImson-So? Where'd she go? Weed
To the Thousand Isles. JImson-Stay
long? Weed-Yes. I told her to take
a week to each Island.-Judge.
A Saving Grace.
Florence-I can't understand why
Ethe] married Mr. Gunson. He is old
enough to be her father. Lawrence
Yes, but he is rich enough to be ber
Waterproof Coats of Grass.
In the tropics of Mexico, where
torrential rains fall a part of each
year, raincoats are a very necessary
part of man's apparel. Owing to the
intense heat which prevails in ?je
summer season the ordinary rubber
raincoat cannot be worn. A rainproof
coat is made from uative grasses and
is worn by the men of the middle^
and upper classes. The grasses are
woven close together, and it IS'IJII?HW
slble for the rain to beat through
them, no matter how hard the storm
may be. Some of these coats are
Ith a hood which protects the
One Was Enough.
"Papa, why didu't you wear a pair
"A pair of what, child?"
"A pair of skates."
"What does the boy mean?"
"Why, Bill, the coachman, told the
cook that you had a lovely skate on
last night when you came home."-Ex
Trotter-When young Blffkins left
college a few years ago, he declared he
was going to forge his way to thc
front. Did he make good? Homer
As a forger-yes. He's now occupying
a front row cell in the penitentiary
Spector-Your new ^ house doesn't
look much like the architect's original
design. Victome-No, but lt looks
more like it than the cost looks like
his original estimate-Smart Set.
If no fight, no victory; no victory,
of Edgefied County:
lisposition on the part
d their cotton forhigh
: pleasure in offering
facilities, where we
their cotton for thirty
Dnth and make liberal
ved a car load of
the best, and better than
yould be pleased to sell
, that we are buyers of
rehouse, and you will al
i the spot,
we don't do business, it (?
For upwards of half a hundred years our store
has been supplying" the needs of the Christmas
shoppers of Edgefield County.
While our experienced buyer was in the Northern markets lie made his purchas
es to suit the the people of every class and taste.
See Our Beautiful Assortment ofC ut Glass
Prices very low. We have the prettiest assortment of China ever shown in this
market. Our vases are -particularly handsome and are being greatly admired.
OUR DOLLS ARE BEAUTIFUL,
All sizes ?nd prices. Just the kind we brought to Edgefield for Santa Claus.
Have you seen our pictures? Large assortment at popular prices.
We Want Everybody to Come and See
PENN & HOLSTE
Successors to G. L. Penn & Son.
Shopping Made Easy
The season in which hearts are made happy by the exchange of Christmas
gifts is almost upon us, and to those who have great demands unon their
time the selection of suitable gifts for father, husband, brother and Senti*
man friends is rather a difficult undertaking. This problem is made easv
at our store by our large stock of useful as well as beautiful merchandise
that is suitable for holiday gifts. wwnoise,
We eappy a very large stock of stylish
and dependable clothing :n all the popular
fabrics, weaves and colors.
We sellthe celebrated Crossett Shoes and can fit you in
vici, gun ietal? French calf or patent leather. Full assort
ment of ?es in all of the popular lasts.
We mj af lill stock of stylish hats for men and boys in
all of thaatest blocks and colors
Here ard few suggestions for Holiday gifts:
SHOES LINEN HANDKERCHIEFS
SUITS. . UMBRELLAS
CRAVATS SILK HANDKERCHIEFS
COLLARS OVER COATS
CUFFS KAIN COATS
HOSIERY DRESS GLOVES
SUIT CASES DRIVING GLOVES
A verlrge shipment of Beautiful Neckwear has Just beeii received; ordered
?special|)r the holidaj' shoppers. Other lines have also been recently replenish
ed in of to meet the needs of our patrons and friends.
We if e you to call at our store. It will be a pleasure to show you
througfur large stock.