Newspaper Page Text
You Need a Tonic
ii you feel languid and depressed
di the time. The best thing to
help nature build up the system is
TONIC VERMIFUGE '
This great tonic ia not a false stim
ulant as many of; thc so-called "spring
tonics." It is a natural strength
giver. For ail run-down conditions
cf the health it is an invaluable rem
edy; imparts new life and vigor and
builds up the entire system.
" Sold b'j All Leading Druggists ir two
size bullies, 50c end 35c
Restore:-: Cray Hair to Wa tur: ? Color;
REMOVES DANDRUFF AMD 3CUIIF
Invigorates ami prevents th? h?ir from tailing ol?.
For Solo bj OrUKSIStS, or Sont DIroc : tty
XAfiTHINE CO., Richmond, Virginia j
- "-"rx 31 ft Bottle; Sample Bottle 35c Send lor ClrcuU'j
The ideal PALATAL ^.Cr?anV?T
Cpthnrtio ir***-??***- Cantor Oil
COILDKKM LtCXTHiflrOOH. K?llev>?Flatui-.:r, Corne*
Gi liane, Aide Mention. 23C. DKDQGlaT-..
??i?s? aviating fellows had belier
take swimming lessons.
Don't done yourself foi- ofsxy rHtle pain
It only hn';ts year sft?T?arV Such pain
COIPCS usually froui kimi ii^flasirnitioni A
little rfebbina with Paui'Ins Vi*L:ard Oil ?
Will Stop it imn?.i:-f.-l-_ I
Southern railroads will get a share
ot the chief executive's $25,000 ex
For COLDS and ?RIP.
Pick's ^APtmiM ls the best ivinrrlr
nllt-vfti the achine and feverishness-cures
Ui;-CVid and restores normal conditions. It's
liquid-erl cots immediately, ldc, '?io. and
lu-., aturuc stores.
There arc pleasures in madness
known only to madmen.-Dr. John
A Word of Hope For Despairing Ones.
Kidney trouble makes weak, weary,
worn women. Backache, hip pains,
dizziness, headaches, nervousness,
languor, urinary troubles make wom
.en suffer untold mis
[ery. Ailing kidneys
j are the cause. Cure
?them. Mrs. 53. G.
Corbin, ,84 N. Depot
St., Dalton.Ga., says:
"My body was racked
with kidney aches
land pains, and some
times my arms were numb. I was
dull and miserable all the time and
hoped for death to relieve me. Doan's
Kidney Pills soon brought improve
ment, and finally made me a well
Remember the name-Doan's. Sold
by all dealers. 50 cents a bos. Fos
ter-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
Goat's Hom Kills Python.
A goat caused the death of the
royal rajah python which Gus Lan
brigger was exhibiting at Logansport,
Ind., last week. The python which
is said to. have been more' than 100
years old, was twenty-seven feet long j
and weighed 300 pounds.
Thc snake, aroused from its dor
mant state, showed signs of hunger.
Pythons cat not hing but live animals,
and although Hildebrandt, ofScer ol'
the local humane society, had served
notice on Lambrigger, ordering him
tc kill all animals before giving them
to the snake, a live goat was forced
into the feeding pen.
The huge python fastened its e.yes
on the cowering animal, and soon had
'Then, before the spell was broken,
the snake sprang forward and wrap
ped its huge body about the terrified
Bones were crushed like egg shells
and life was squeezed from the ani
mal almost in the twinkle of an eye.
The snake then began to swallow the
One of billy's horns became im
bedded in the python's throat and
in the snake's effort to obtain -elief,
the horn severed an artery. In its
dying agonies, the python lasled and
squinted about the tent. Cages were
knocked down, monkeys were liberat
ed, and one of the employes was
struck and knocked fifteen feet.
Poor maids have more lovers than
Tia'j crisp, brown flak?
Come to the breakfast table r
the package-no bother; no d
They have body too ; thes
to give you a delicious substan
away. "The Taste Ling
Wade by POSTUTI CE
A Dead Shot on Rmg Worms.
Wysacklngr, XL. 'j.j June 2, 1908.
Mr. J. T. Shuptrine, 'Savannah, Gal
. Derr Slr:-Enclosed you will find $1.00
for which please send 'ne at once Tet
terlne. It ls a dead shov on ring worms.
f mrs truly,
W. S. Dudley.
Totterlne cures "Eczen.a. Tetter, Ring
TVorm, Ground Itch. Itching Piles. In
fant's Sore Head, Pimples. Boils, Rough
Scalv Patches on the Face, Cid Itch'ng
Sores. Dandruff. Cankered Scalp. Ou li
ions. Corns. Chilblains ard evt>-y form of
Skin i/lsease. Tetterine 50c: Tetterine
Soap 25c. Tour druggist, or by maii from
the manufacturer, The Shuptrine Co.,
Jack Binns, who has gained lasting
fame for his D. C. 0. messages that
brought re?ue to th? Florida is
suing to stop moving cicturc concerns
from bellttlinar his fame in cutting
the presentation on tlie canvass. He
asks $25.000 damage from the via
F* r H KAJDAiB?a:-rilckx' I'A PU PINE
"Whether from Colds. H.?at. Stomach or
Nervous Troubles, Capudlim will relieve you.
Ivs llcju1.'!-pleasant io uke-act? injinedi
atWv. Try it. lue.. 25c sad 50c. &z (?rae
The new York lawyer whose life
was saved by a foivnti.i pen probably
feels that the pen is also mightier
than the bullet. So. 3-1- '09
I>r. Blg;or? Kncklo?>iury Cordial
Will convince the most skeptical when it
comos to ourlag Diarrhoea. Dysentery,
Children Tdathlag.eto. 20o iud ?OJ per bottle
A certain father who is fond of
putting his boys through natural his
tory examinations is often surprised
by their mental agility! He recently
asked tliem to tell him "what animal
is satis'ic? with the ?east nourish
''The rrcth." one o:: them shouted
confidently. "It eats nothing but
holes. ' '-Youth's Companion.
Chronic dyspepsia result5 from neglecting
slight attach? orm??ue.<ti?^.TakePairikiller
'Parry Davis') io:-cramps ann indigestion.
Count Zeppelin does not seem to be
allowing any grass to grow under his
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, ..educes inflamma
tion, allays pain, cures wind col ic, 25e. a bo ttl e.
There are enough guards, police
men, gendarmes? etc.. acompanving
Tsar Nicholas to prevent his becom
ing St. Nicholas.
Bough on Rata, unbeatable exterminator.
Rough on Hen Lice, Neut Powder, 25c,
Roagh on Bedbugs, Powder or Liq'd, 25c.
Rough on Fleas, Powder or Liquid, 25c.
Rough on Roaches, Pow'd, 15c,Liq'd, 25c
Rough on Moth and Ants, Powder, 25c.
Rough on Skeeters, agreeable in use, 25c
E. S. '-Veils, Chemic. Jersey City, N. J.
Writ to Get Deg Out.
Atlanta, Ga., Special.-Four law
yers, a sheriff, five or six of his dep
uties, a negro woman and a learned
judge are tangled up in an argument
over one yellow mongrel dog, for
which a writ of hebeas corpus was
sworn out here.
. The dog, named Wilbur, is held as
a witness in an asault case. The
animal is believed to have been with
William Webb, a negro, when he as
saulted Mrs. Exa Brown, a young
white woman. Webb narrowly es
caped lynching. The victim identi
fied the dog and the State ordered
Wilbur locked up until the triai,
when it will bc expected to identify
Webb by running up to him in court.
Grace Davis, a negress and a
friend of Webb, owns the dog and
ha" hired lawyers to get it out o?
The petition declares that "thc
canine is of a tender a<;e, under six
years, is uneducated and knows noth
ing of the solemnity or nature of an
oath, and therefore cculd not be a
competent witness in any event. Fur
ther, the said canine has been entitled
to thrre square meals a day and the
privilege of all canines at night of
baying at the moon and hunting fresh
eggs in the neighborhood."
"The sheriff did not consider the
writ a joke and became angry. The
ordinary of the county has grantr-l
the writ and will hear the case.
Proverbs and Fhrases.
Rage furnishes no weapon.'
In prosperity no altl-.rs smoke.
He that hath a trade hath an
A good man's pedigree is little
He who helps the wicked repents it
The internal condition of Spain has
been such as to make Gip Castro feel
quite at home.
ight, and exactly right from
B Post Toasties are firm enough
.tial mouthful before they melt
!REAL CO., LIMITED,
THE WAIL OF THE SOCIALIST I
Whoso little ha by am I?
Nobody seems to know.
Tve coo>:-d And I've cried till I've t
But il uoesn't r.ppcar to go,
For there Isn't tiny muzzer,
And there aren't any aunts,
And I haven't oven a grandma to se
?. boy needs pants.
I haven't any playthings,
I haven't any folks;
I can't quite frame a name I can cl
I'm tis vague as a funny man's
I own everything around me,
And every one hero owns me,
And lt's awfully kind of mixing,
think you'll all agree.
. Tm everybody's bruzzer,
But nobody loves .lust mo.
I can pout or can smile In my own <
But who's there to watch and s<
For -nurse ls a lot of women.
That toss me to and fro.
And there ain't any special cuddle t
fellow scemn to know.
,v And If nny one wants to take n
I don't think It could be wrong;
I am lonely and sad, and I'm not
And I'd mightily like to belong.
For the earth and all its riches
Are aa nothing to the bliss
Of a pair ol' arms around you, and
ownest muzzcr's kiss.
-Emma H. De Zouc
j By Elizabeth ?nscla Gould.
Nobody could have looked at C
i Toppan on the evening of his re
j from a visit to lils nephew wit;
1 'mowing that he had enjoyed the v
I "I've got a little something-to tell
j about my new niece," he said to I
?.tain Saunders and Captain Bo
when his wife had thoughtfully dep
I ed to a neighbor's house, and left
with his two friends.
"Tell on," said the two capts
promptly. "You let us light up,
then you needn't lcok for anythin;
the line of interruptions," added (
tain Bolles. "We'll nod if we see
"You know I've always had s<
doubts what kind of a wife a fe
like Henry, with his head way up
the clouds, would pick him out," i
! Mr. Toppan, and the captains r
"Well, I guess Providence had a h
in the choosing ol.' Emily," contin
J the host. "She's as neat a little c:
: as ever I set'eyes on, and she's
' a first-class head-piece, what's mi
j They're living about ten miles
j of the city, in a mighty pretty li
' suburb, and they've got the corner
? in a good neighborhood-nice hou
on both .streets.
j "I said to Henry, 'Doesn't it cost
pretty steep?' For I knew his writ
? didn't bring him :in any great of
I income yet, though he's coming
! And he said, 'It dem't cost what ye
j think 'twould. In fact, this was
? considered a very desirable lot
\ Ernily got to work on it.'
I "Well, of course. I wanted to kn
j the meaning of that. So he told
; Just what, happened. Seems they wa
i ed to be about that far from to\
j and they met the agent for a1 lot:
j new houses somewhere, and he ti
.'em of this place. Said he and ]
wife had lived there for a few moni
and then moved in town, and 'twas
pretty place. So they went right alo
j out to sec it. The rent was rcasonah
I so reasonable that Emily got kind
I thoughtful. Henry was for taking
? as he always does good things, as if t
j ravens had fetched it to him. B
j Emily's built different
"She looked the agent right in t
eye, and she said, "What's the o
j about it?' And he saw 'twasn't a:
' use to make up any pretty stories
j beat round the bush, so he told t
i " 'You sec that big house dov
i there?' he said. 'Well, that man pa;
j rent for three of these houses, h
own and two married sons' and 1
"Henry said Emily began te smi
! and nod.
" 'And every afternoon when they':
let out they make right for this corm
lot,' says the agent 'J don't kno
what 'tis attracts 'em so, whether it
I the slope, or the grass is groener, <
what, but here's where they land, ar
scratch and dig till they're calli
home for supper. And he says he ca
not help it-small fowl have got I
have their liberty. And my wi;
likes a flower garden and smoot
" 'I see,' Emily said, when he sto]
ped. 'So do I lilce a garden, and
shall have a pretty one here.' And thi
very day Henry .signed a five year
lease, with a couple of portable hei
houses thrown In.
"'Going to keep kens?' the ager
asked her, when she bartered for th
hen houses, and Emily smiled an
said, 'For a while, maybe.'
"Henry was kind cf uneasy till sh
explained her plan.s to him, for he's n
farmer, nor he never tock to hem
But he saw the light after she'd talke
j to him a while. They did their wor
and moving mornings till the day the
moved in-that was their first after
i noon. Emily took a rest after dinnei
? and when she got up and looked out oi
the lawn, there 3ure enough, was i
whole posse o' hens and seme chick
! cns! Henry set their portable hen
houses up that night, and next morn
lng a farmer brought them some hen:
and put 'em in the houses, likewisi
chickens. . Henry superintended thc
job. Emily never went near 'em no:
asked a question.
"That afternoon Henry let out thei
live stock while Emily was taking hei
rest. Then he sat doun and wrote foi
an hour or so In a complete little plac:
they call his 'study,' at the back o
the house. When Emily waked up slit
went in there and rumpled up hit
hair and told him he'd written long
enough, and to lay off and take a
snooze before tea-time, same, as wa.*
their usual arrangement.
"I'll call the hens and feed 'em, and
get 'em under cover,' says Emily,
"lhat'll be my part of the work.'
"Well. Henry said he stretched ou'
on the lounge she has all fixed up cozy
for him, and fell ol? into a doze. When
ho waked up 'twas most dark, and he
lay there listening to voices, Emily's
and a mon's. Emily's was cool and
pleasant, but tie raan'9 bad a prettsr
"I should like to know what yo?'Y?
done with my. hens!' he was saying,
" 'Yours hens!' Emily repeats aftei
him', in a real surprised tone. 'Why,
where were they?'
" 'Well-'hem'-says the man, 'they
-why, i suppose they were on your
" 'Oh, says Emily, 'how unfortunate!
You see, we've just moved, and our
hens only came this morning. I have
not even asked by husband how
many he bought. I've been so busy
getting settled, you know. He let
them out while I was taking my nap,
and now he's getting a little rest, after
his writing. I told him I'd call the
hens in, feed them, and get them un
der cover every afternoon. I had some
meal for them, and they came running
to me just as fast. And you think
your hens were all here, too? Now
we'll taite my little electric lantern and
go right out to the henhouses, anil
you've only to pick yours out and take
them right away. Of course I would
not keep them. I don't know much
about hens, but they will follow you,
won't you? Won'tx they know your
"Henry said he held his breath ex
pecting maybe tho man would say
something that would oblige him to
get right up off'n the lounge and go
in and deal with him; but instead of
that,, he said the man bust right out
Into a roar.
" 'See here' he said, 'you've got the
best of me, and I'll wager you know it,
whether you know much about hens
or not You keep 'em overnight and
let 'em out j tomorrow at the usual
time, and I'll see that they're sorted
out by my man and taken home, and
kept home. .I'll have a little place
made back of the house, where they'll
get room enough. And any eggs you
get from their visit,' says he 'you're
welcome to. And look here, when you
get settled I'll have my folks call on
you' he said. 'And now I'll bid yen
" 'Good night!' says Emily, sweet as
ever. 'We'd love to have them come.
And, O Mr. Brown, when it's later
in the season, 1 hope you'll accept a
couple of broilers for this trouble I've
put you to. I think perhaps we shan't
keep hens so very long.'
"'I knew that before you told me,'
says the man. And Henry said that
as he passed by the side window on
his way home the window was open,
and Henry could hear him chuckling
good an' hearty." .
Its Interesting History-Extravagant
Prices For lt.
In almost every collection of "Old
Blue" you will find at least one ex
ample of Syntax china, perhaps the
most famous of ail the different series
made by Clews. The history of the
pictures on this china is amusing, for
the text was written around the pic
Thomas Rowlandson, a caricatur
ist, says the Circle magazine, made a
series of pictures representing an eld
erly clergyman and schoolmaster oc
cupying his holidays in search of what
he called "the picturesque."
A printer, R. Ackerman, saw the pic
tures and 1 called on a man named
William Comb to make the verses. This
he did, and the pictures and verses
made such a success when they came
out, about 1815, that many editions of
the first book, called "Dr. Syntax in
9earch of the picturesque," were pub
This William Comb who wrote the
verses was for forty-three years con
fined to the King's bench debtors' pris
on and it seems a strange place in
which to evolve comical ideas. He was
80 years old when he wrote the "Sec
ond Tour" in 1820.
He not only wrote the verses for thia
first book but for a second volume
called "Second Tour of Dr. Syntax in
Search of Consolation." This was
brought out in 1820, and in 1821 the
third volume was published and named
"Third Tour of Dr. Syntax in Search
of a Wife." Thirty-odd designs from
the books were used by Clews on sets
Although the work of this series of
pictures is good, Clews having the
printing well done and clear, the val
ues which are placed on the different
pieces are all out of proportion to
their merit. Some of the platters bring
three or four hundred dollars and the
plates as high as thirty or forty.
Indeed, so much in demand are these
pictures on china that forgers have
gotten in their work and "Dr.. Syntax
Painting a Portrait," "Dr. Syntax asd
the Bees" and "Dr. Syntax Mistakes a
Gentleman's House for an Inn" have
all been produced, but the fraud la
easily detected by the heaviness of the
ware, poor printing and clumsy repro
duction of the Clews mark on the back,
An Ail-Potato Feast.
One of the most remarkable menus
ever drawn up must have been that
of thc feast in Paris to which Benja
min Franklin, Lavoisier (the found
er of modern chemistry), aud other
distinguished men sat down as guests
of Parmenticr. Every dish at this
banquet was made of potatoes, even
the brandy and liquers were the prod
uct of the same vegetable. This waa
Parmentier's final proof to his skep
tical fellow-countrymen that pota
toes were not poison, as they persist
ed in believing. Louis XVI hlmselJ
was one of Farmen tier's earliest con
verts, granted him land on which tc
grow his plants, and did not disdain
to wear the potato flower in his but
tonholt;. Then Pannentier cleverlj
posted guards around his p?tate
fields; by day and withdrew them bj
night, so that people were tempted
to come then, steal, eat, and be con
vinced. The all-potato banquet was
thc climax of the great campaign.
Kansas City Star.'
His Father's Occupation.
Teacher-Yvhat is your father's oe
Little Boy-I can't tell you.
Teacher-But you must.
Little Boy-My father doesn't wanl
me to tell.
Teacher-I insist on your tellinj
me. I have to know.
Little Boy (tearfully)-He's-he's
the fat lady at the dime museum.
o i? a ????
To Remove Dirt.
To remove dirt from brown boots
Jissolve a little saddle soap In warm,
50ft water. Put the boots in this and
with a piece of sponge wash the boots
thoroughly without making the leath
er very wet. Wash off the soapy wat
er and dry in the air. Then polish
the boots in the usual way.-Detroit
Quaint Little Clock.
'An odd little clock is in the form of
a crystal ball suspended by a leather
?trap to the top of a stirrup iron.
The iron, which is really of silver
or gunmetal, stands on the desk or
dresser on the metal base on which
the foot rests when one rides, and
the clock swings from its tiny leather
This would make an Ideal gift for
the girl who rides and drives and
loves horses.-New York Times.
The washable rug is being manu
factured by fingers proficient in the
use of the crochet hook. Any ot the
materials, old or new, eotton, silk or
wool, which are suitable for rag car
peting, may be used for the crocheted
rug. For a thin rug adapted to bath
or bedroom,- variegated cretonnes
combined with plain colors are pretty
and durable; figured flannelet makes
thicker and softer rugs. Strips for
these rugs are torn about half an
inch wide and are sewed ? together.-*
New Haven Register.
Rack For Lids.
The tidy housekeeper finds the
many lids of pots, pans and kettles
j needed in the kitchen a problem to
arrange with any degree of order and
j They cannot be hung up, many of
j them, owing to the shape, will not lie
j in a pile and they are woefully un
j handy in the dresser drawers'.
A bright woman to whom the lids
I were as the hosts of the evening has
j now solved the question in a way both
I easy and inexpensive.
She got a length of strong wire,
. stretched lt across the pots and pans
j shelf by means of a couple of nails,
j and on this the lids accompanying all
the cooking utensils are neatly ar
j ranged. The wire supports them
; perfectly, and the even row of shiny
I tin things is by no means unorna*
! mental in addition to its handiness.-.
; New York Times.
! Have you ever peeped into the
i kitchen of some German hausfrau
i and been enraptured by its immacu
! late cleanliness, not to say the va
j rious attractions that make you want
I to linger there?
The German matron never hides
her own exclusive workshop; she does
not screen off its very door as if she
were ashamed to own such a room.
It is to her the most important in her
home, as is evidenced by the scoured
pots and kettles and by all her little
efforts at beautifying.
Her closet shelves are covered, not
I with manila or lace paper, nor with
I painted oilcloth, but with homespun
. linen resembling our coarse crash,
j This is fastened by a few buttonholes
slipped over some small china knobs
.at the back of the shelf.
The cover hangs down, lambrequin
like, over the front edge of the shelf,
and It is on this fall of linen that the
German pots, pans and kettles are re
produced in cross-stitch in a nice
Delft blue to match some of the plat
ters and soup plates that stand in
rows on the shelves. The patterns
i appear only at intervals, and the lin
I en is finished by a row of coarse but
tonholing along its straight edge.
The Danish do these nice household
bits, and the goose and gander are
popular designs for outlined work on
many of their hangings. - Bostor
Chocolate Caramels.-One-half cup
molasses, one cup sugar, two and one
half cups milk, flavor with vanilla.
Boll fifteen to twenty minutes. . Pour
in greased tins and cut in squares.
Fried Rice.-Cook one cupful of
rice in three cupfuls of milk and a
little salt. When tender put into a
deep dish. When cool cut in slices,
dip in flour or egg and crumbs and
Raisin Pie.-Cover one-third pound
raisins with water and stew until
soft. Make crust as usual. Cover
bottom crust thick with flour, add
raisins and sprinkle with flour. Add
three tablespoonfuls of juice from
stewing and one glass of sugar.
Cream of Asparagus Soup. - Put
two ounces of butter in a saucepan,
with three tablespoonfuls of flour;
stir well and moisten with three
pints of white (veal) broth. Put in
the equivalent of half a bunch of as
paragus; add a boquet (parsley, cel
ery, thyme and bay leaf), pepper and
salt .to taste. Eoil thoroughly for
thirty minutes. Strain and add a
cupful of cream. Serve with cooked
asparagus tops of croutons (bits of
Lettuce Salad.-Slice lettuce into a
dish together with several onions;
hard boil three eggs, fry until crisp
three thin slices of bacon and add to
salad; take yolks of one or two eggs
and mash with one tablespoonful of
sugar, teaspoonful of flour, one-half
teaspoonful of mustard, one teaspoon
ful of salt, some pepper, dilute with
water and one-half cup of vinegar.
Stir this into bacon grease on stove
and stir until it thickens; then pour
over lettuce. Garnish dish with sliced
eggs. Must be served imraedijjely.
"Mav I-may I kiss you, dear?"
"First I want one thing made clear,*
"Have vou e'er kissed maid before,
"No." he answered-ehe was sure
Then,.with willing lips, she whis
Yes, you may, since you don't kiss
? Trne to Life.
Teacher-"Johnnie, do you know,
tfhat a blotter is?"
Johnnie-"Yessum. le's de fing
ivot youse hunts fer while de ink gets
?ry."-Chicago Daily News.
"New thought will beautify the
"That may be so, but very few
girls are going to give up lotions for
j "I love my work."
"Now be honest. Do you really
I' "Well, it's an extremely platonic
"Did you tell your wife you had a
? "I did not; I told her I had pur
chased a new typewriting machine. I
believe in being explicit."-St. Paul
--?-* ' Tf\
A Satisfactory Explanation.
Mabel-"I don't believe you really
meant it when you said you were
anxious to hear me sing."
Sam-"Oh, I assure you I did!
You see, I had never heard you sing
A Gilded Grouch.
"Wealth does not always bring
1 "No," answered the woman who
had been reading the latest divorce
news, "sometimes it merely brings
"Did you have any sort of a joy
ride?" . 1
"Nothing to brag of. We did hit
three or four pedestrians, but not one
was hurt seriously enough to go to a
De Style-"What makes you think
Gotrox has almost finished the cigars
his wife gave him for CL... :imas?"
Gunbusta-"Why, I met him to
day, and he said he was almost at the
end of his rope."-Harper's Weekly.
Rubbing It In.
"Yes, I was fined $500 for putting
coloring matter in artificial butter."
"Well, didn't you deserve it?"
"Perhaps. But what made me
mad was that the judge who imposed
the fine had dyed whiskers."-Cleve
The Usual Way.
"In the natural fitness of things, I
wonder"- ruminated the Curious
Youth, who was always wondering.
"Yes?" inquired the Wise Chum.
"If they could get anything out of
a milk trust by pumping it?"-Balti
A Haunting Fear.
"What do you think of this whisky
question, Colonel?" asked the brisk
"I am afraid, sah." said the Ken
tucky Colonel, gloomily, "that straight
whisky is going to get a crooked
Just the Word "O?d/?
Gunner - "Yes, that's a girl's
yachting club and they run a yacht
without any male help."
Guyer-"And they will never for
give that editor for writing them up."
Gunner-"Why, he merely said
they were 'tars.' "
Guyer-"No, he said they were
'old tars.! "-Boston Post.
Into the Vernacular.
"My dear woman," said the liter
ary visitor, seeking local color in the
slums, "do you ever castigate your
"Wotyer mean?" asked the lady ol
the tenement, with a scowl at the
"She means," translated the ac
companying settlement worker, "do
you ever wallop your kids?"-Ealth
Meanest Man on Earth.
Irate Barber (to customer as he
seats him in chair)-"You see that
guy goi?g out the door?"
Customer-"Yes. What of it?"
Barber-"He's the meanest maa
Customer-"What has he done?"
Barber-"Why, the scoundrel sal
in my chair for half an hour and nev
er told me he was deaf." - Every,
"And what, may I ask, is your busi
"I am a writer of popular songs."
"Indeed? That must be a very in<
teresting occupation. Do you belong
Love me all the time
In rain or shine,
or to the
Then unto me did say
school of popular song writers
Man Is the only animal whose nos
trils open downward. Even in.the
highest apes the nostrils open to the
The sensitiveness of growing plants
to the influence of light is well illus
trated by the results of recent re
search on hellotropism-the bending
ol! stems toward light.
Beetles possess an enormous
amount of strength. The common
beetle can draw 500 times its own
weight, and a stag beetle has been
known to escape from underneath a
box on which a weight had been
placed 1700 times greater than the
One of the most remarkable ap
plications of wireless telegraphy is
an ingenious arrangement by which
the message received works the key
board of a typewriter. This Invention
has further been applied to the type
setting machine, so that wireless mes
sages can now be made to print them
selves by means of the linotype ma
An improved form of the quartz
mercury vapor lamp is about to be In
troduced in England as a substitute
for carbon arc lights. It is claimed
that the new lamps will give the same
illuminating power as the carbon arcs
at about half the cost. ' One great ad
vantage is said to be the avoidance of
the necessity for frequent trimming.
The quartz mercury vapor lamps will
run aboiit 1000 hours without atten
tion. Some progress has been made
in reducing the disagreeable color of
the light, but it has not yet been
eliminated. , ?
In the big desert of Chile there Is a
considerable amount of brackish wat
er, but no water that either human
beings or stock can drink. Science,
however, says the Los Angeles Times,
has come to the aid of this rainless
section of the country in the form.of
an ingenious desert water works, con
sisting of a series of frames contain
ing 20,000 square feet of glass. The
panes of glass are arranged in the
shape of a V, and under each pane is
a shallow pan containing brackish
water. The heat of the sun evapor- '
ates the water, which condenses upon
the sloping glass, and, made pure by
this operation, it runs down into little
channels at the bottom of the V and
is carried away into the main canal.
Nearly a thousand gallons of fresh
water is collected daily by this means
NO TIPS IN FINLAND.
Maid's Surprise Upon Receiving
Money From Her Mistress' Guest??.
A country where there are no tips
and where small services are ren
dered to the stranger without hope
of reward would seem hard to find
yet such a country ls Finland.
So far the tourist has not appeared
In any great numbers, and conse
quently the commercial spirit which
his advent always marks has been
absent. As an example of this Mme.
Alno Malmberg, a Finnish lady who
is paying a visit,to this, country, tells
an amusing story. Two English-.,
friends whom, she had met while
over here had been staying with her
at her house in Helslhgfors, and on
leaving gave the maid a tip.
She was very much,astonished and
did not know what it meant. Seeing
Mme. Malmberg's son coming down
stairs, she ran to "him and said,
"They gave me money. Did they,
give you any?" Hearing that they
had not done so, she was much mys
tified. "I cannot understand why
they should give it to me and not to
you, when they know you much bet
ter than me," was her perplexed com
ment on the incident.-London Morn*
The Judge Felt Safe.
"Some of the West India islanders
have learned that when a foreigner
misbehaves on their shores it is bet
ter to suffer in silence than to mete
?ut punishment at the risk of a de
scending gunboat from the miscreant's
native land," said Frank H. Griffiths,
of Kingston, Jamaica. "A Judge in
Hay ti, however, recently took occa
sion to pay off old scores and to re
deem his self-respect in the case of
an offender brought before him.
"To his first question, as to the na
tionality of the accused, the interpre
ter had answered that the prisoner
was from Switzerland.
" 'Switzerland,' said *the Judge,
'and Switzerland has no sea coast,
" 'No sea coast, Your Honor," said
" 'And no navy,' continued the
" 'And no navy, Your Honor,' was
" 'Very well, then,' said the Judge,
'give him one year at hard labor.' "-< .
Where to Live Long.
Yarmouth is living up to the repu
tation Charles Dickens gave it when
he advised the purchase of an annu
ity and residence at Yarmouth to at
tain the age of Methusaleh.
The annual report of its medical'
officer of health, issued yesterday,
states that In 190S the average rate
of mortality was much below the pre
vious ten years and was two per cent,
lower than the corrected average
death rate for the seventy-six' great
towns, so that on its population o?
50,000 no fewer than 100 lives were
saved last year as compared with the
mortality in the country generally.
"I rather pride myself on OL.
thing," said the young father. "Al
though I have the brightest, smart
est, cutest, best youngster I ever saw.
I never brag about him."-Kansas
It is said that in the last five years
the membership in temperance so
cieties in Gsrmany has more thisiD