Newspaper Page Text
Mr. and Mrs. Lewis Holmes an
nounce the marriage of their
daughter, Matilda, to Mr. Lomie
W. Ergle of Aiken. The marriage
will take place at the home of the
bride's parents on May 12, ?(.U4.
Sunday School Convention.
The County Inter-Denominational
Sunday School convention will con
vene here Thursday and Friday of
next week, May 7 and 8. The ses
sions of the convention will be held
in the Methodist church. It is hoped
that every Sunday school in the
-county will send a full dele
gation. All who eome will receivo
a cordial welcome.
Death of a Christian Woman.
Mrs. George Wright died sudden
ly at her home in the lower pan of
the county Thursday night last.
Her death was a great shock to her
friends and loved ones. The funeral
took place at Hardy's church Fri
day morning, being cor.i.inted by
Rev. P. B. Lanham. She was a very
devout member of Hardy's church,
her husband being one of the dea
cons. Mrs. Wright levaes a devoted
husband, one son and four little
daughters. The Advertiser extends
SJ rnpathy to these bereaved friends.
For County Auditor.
Mr. C. M. Mellichamp comes be
fore the people for the tirst time,
being now a candidate for the po
sition of auditor. While he is not
a native of this county he is no
stranger to our people. Soon after
graduating from the South Carolina
Co-Educational Institute he began
teaching the Red Hill school whore
he resided for several years.
For the past two years Mr. Melli
champ has been teaching the Mor
gan school. His services have al
ways given satisfaction. Should the
people elect him to the position of
county auditor he will serve them
faithfully and well.
Edgefield is a great town. Wes
are not so big perhaps as ?ome other
places, ami we haven't quite a
many people, but for good cheer
and kindly spirit, there is no place
on record which can surpass heroic
and historic ubi Edgefield.
Ore of the greatest undertakings
-?\*Toe^y,ear"~wa> iii* staging of *"1 he
Deestrick Skule*' in the Edgefield
opera house on Monday evening of
April 20. The largest audience as
sembled there and more money was
collected than for any other enter
tainment even given here. The au
dience came from every direction
to see their friends on the stage,
and these played the better because
they knew there was a kindly spirit
in their behalf pervading this great
concourse of people.
There were about thirty-three
characters in the "skule," and so
pleasant had been the relationship
in the arrangement for the play
the "girls" felt that there must be
some tangible appreciation shown
to the "better half" of the "skule."
At the last rehearsal, th" invitations
were sent out as follow-:
The girls of the Deestrick Skule
Will have a partye fur the boys
On Thursday night at Thankful
Walpole's house. Big spread!
No books! No swite?esi
If you don't come earl ye
You'll meet the Blue Witches!
Accordingly at the home of Mrs.
J. L. Miras the boys and girls be
gan to arrive early, but lo! and be
held! they were r.ot boys and girls
any longer, but had resumed their
former dignity as graciously as they
had assumed the role of little folks.
As the guests entered Miss Miriam
Norris and Mrs. Mamie N. Tillman
made the air thrill with beautiful
musie. Having waited until each
guest arrived, except two or three
who had been caught by the "Blue
Witches," the author of the famous
Mhisshisshipphi," Mr. 3. McGow
an Simkins, brought the original ar
ticle into the parlor and presented
each one with a card on which was
transcribed what this wonderful pie
contained. This happened to be the
menu for the
Silas' Three Hens and a Half
Mike's Tertatys A. B. C's
Josh's Apples and Giggling Jemimy's
Bubby's Sauer Kraut
Jason's Rigid Zone
Charity's Hamburg Ladies Cake
Jeremiah's Epicarean Draught
Penelope's Spearmint Rawsum
The Colossus of Rhody was fully
and most happily explained to us
by Mr. M. P. Wells, and while we
had often heard of this "wonder of
the woild," we never knew before
that there was anything funny
about it, but that aspect of the sub
ject was brought to light by the
captivating Irish wit of O'Flynn.
And the blue back speller. What
a subject fora toast! Even this relic
of antiquity which has not lost its
value nor its reputation, and which
is still one of the "seven wonders of
the world" was most aptly discussed
by Mr. L. Wigfall Cheatham, Jason,
(sometimes called Josh) Billings.
"The Hancinjr (Maidens of Ba
byloy"! and whoever thought of
there being anything amusing about
this great wonder of the world, but
in the hands of one of thc scholars
of the Deestrick Skule, this became
one of the most amusing features
of the program, as you will see if
you read all that was said about it
in another column of this paper.
"The opera house pi an ny" was the
toast of Mr. P. B. Mayson, and he
was able to give a climax to his
wonder that no one else could offer,
and that was two of his violin se
lections * Ith accompaniment by
Mrs. May n, our own beloved
Charity Mayflower. As they finish
ed the music, they resumed their
seats, and another toast was made
to "The pyramids of Egypt" by
Mr. W. B. Coghurn who said some
very amusing things about these
wonders of the world, and made
everybody laugh and feel good, and
after all, that &is one of the main
things we "learnt" in the Deestrick
Skule, and one of the best lessons
we all ought to learn in the big
?"skule" of life. Among other things
[he said that the pyramids were
siukin' and some day they will
come "straight through.'' If they
should it would be a great thing,
because we wouldn't have to go to
Egypt anymore to see them.
"Should Skule acquaintance be
forgot". Now the wonder of the
world about this would be the for
getting. Mr. Simkins [said we could
not and we all said we would not,
and then we sangi"Auld Lang Syne"
and in oar hearts pledged eternal
loyalty to all our skule.
The guests then repaired aeres
the hall where they were seated. Be
fore partaking of the refreshments
Mr. J. L. Miras who had spoken
very kindly words to the Deestrich.
Skule as a committeeman a few
nights before, greeted the skule in
a different capacity and assured the
guests of their hearty welcome in
behalf of the "skule girls."
Here began a hiller explanation
of the "Seven wonders of the
world" which badbeen so amusingly
lined out for us at the the Deestrick
Skule by Capt. E. H. Folk, alias
Ebenezer Langhorne. The toast
master was our "teacher dear" Capt.
N. (y. Evans.
The first wonder was the largest
bouquet of flowers in che world,
which were brought in and set up
on the table by Miss Marie Abney
who very graciously said that on a
previous occasion she had present
ed the teacher with a bouquet, but
at this time .?he would give to each
child one of its own. At this Jemi
my Touchstone (Mrs. Feltham)
arose and rrom cards tied with
green ribbons which she said was
appropriate as our skule color, read
original and very complimentary
verses to each one present and she
did it so willingly that we forgot
and forgave that she said our color
was "green" skule mates in the
Deestrick Sknle. We are so sorry
vacation has come, but next year
we must have another and a larger
Deestrick Skule, and never change
When the teacher had told every
body else to ptomulgate, and they
had all tinished, he waa called upon
to do tho same thing himself, and
although did not talk long, one lit
tle girl said that what he remarked
was the best of all.
What tells tales out of Skule.
Ebenezer Langhorne's Toast.
Mr. Skule master and brothers
and sister pupils of the Deestrick
Skule: By way of prefatory remark
I will say that my non de plume is
"Ebenezer Langhorne" but I am
not here to explaterate about my
nam- but to lecturize this august
assemblage a little on "The hanging
gard, ns of Ba-by-lon." and all that
sort of thing until I reach the 90th
round of the ladder which by the
way i> my number in this distin
guished and unextinguishable Dee
But as the Frenchman says "A la
moutons"' Nebuchadnezzar rebr.ilt
the city of Babylon. With his "un
boundec command of naked human
strength" he applied himself to
those works which afterwards call
ed forth :!ie celebrated boast:
"ls thi> not great Babylon, that
[ have built for the house of my
kingdom, by the might of ray pow
er and for the honor of ray majes
Babylon was a square city at
least ? times as large as the present
city of London and traversed
diagonal!} by the Euphrates river;
its walls were 338 feet, 2 1-9 inc
high by 35 feet and 9 inc
thick, studded with towers i
pierced by brazen gates.
Its palaces and its hanging g
dens (a system of terraces in imi
tion of mountain scenery) forn
to please Nebuchadnezzar's Med
queen were among the wonders
the world. I mention this in on
solely that wo may not folget.
But these beautiful gardens a
his Median queen did not ki
Nebuchadnezzar at home all t
time for in 586 B. C. he went a
took Jerusalem, so that the Phoei
cians could invent an alpbab
give it to the Greeks and Roma
that we could inherit it from Ci
mus, in order that we boys a
crirls of this late day can write
! each other when far, far away wii
out having to travel over mounta
and s?a and Edgefield's roads
say a word to each other.
I regret, that MO far as my rea
ing of Grecian, Roman, Frene
English, Spanish, Japanese, "borij
nal, ancient and modern histo
including Chapman's his to
of Edgefield county, Alexand
Popham's disquisition on cow
Bubby Honeysuckle's spiel on Y<
scarce expect one of my age,"
Silas Daggett's ''twinkle, twink
little star," or Isaac Ledbette;
liquid How of words, or even Jo:
Ashley's voluminous loquacity,
have failed to find what became i
thc Hanging Gardens of Babylo
therefore and hencely you cann
view me with a critic's e;
but pass my imperfestions b,
should I fail to mention my subje
again in this augustus presence, Bi
really boys don't you know tb
queen must have been a daisy f<
old Nebuchadnezzar to have ban
rupted himself to please her; bi
Oh what would Nebuck have dor
if he had lived in this day and tin
and his orb-, had rested on some <
Edgeiield's fair daughters bt
may be after all it is best that h
did not or else there woul
have been more lost to some of t
than the hanging Gardens of Babj
lon and then there woul
have been G wonders of the worl
for us school children to remembei
instead of 7 unless we coull
roll back the scroll of time and s
forth and get the Solons of antiqu:
ty to adopt some of the wonder
mentioned in this Deestrick Skule
Honored skule master and belove*
skule mates: As ray mind rever
berates thro the corridors of timi
from ancient on thro mediaeval ant
down through modern times,
know not when, or where or hov
to take my pen iu hand to typewriti
you a few lines for behold there ii
Athens, and Sparta, and Rome, and
Carthage clamoring for us to tall
about; and to descant on the au
th Topology, the archaeology, arie
the philology of the Hindoos, th?
Persians, the Greeks, the Latins,
the Celts not lo mention tl (
Phoencoians, Assyrians or the Hang
ing Gardens of Babylon (Pardon
me if I should forget myself and
refer now and then to the Hanging
Gardens of Babylon) and perhaps
others, which in my great haste I
may have forgotten to mention.
1 came not here to talk or slate
my views on politics or woman's
suffrage or those other burning
questions of the hour, to quote HIV
friend Napoleon Bonaparte. "When
Greece her knee in sun-pli-ance
bent" or 'Bozarrii cheer his sulitc
band" or to distmb the eloquent si
lence ol" Josh Ashley: or hear Cassi
bianca at the hands of that Irish
orator and patriot Mikey O'Fiinn:
or to provoke the silence of that
good but tardy Tommie who never
did reach the skule during a single
day dur int; the term, cr to remark
on the velvet breeches of Jason
Billings or to refer to Jeremiah
Winslow who will issue to you boys
aud girls when old euough any pa
pers you desire or that Charley
Burts will record any paper I hat
givet .ule to your home, but I des
pair Vi call tbe roll of this illustri
And with due apologies to Prof.
Obediah Th ree wits. On
pedagogy I next shall treat, phre
nology leaving behind, prove by
the pumps of the feet, man's organ
ic structure of mind That
the head is the source of the Missis
sippi (See-See--Isaac Ledbetter) (I
hope his toe will get well) 'tis wis
dom that ascends from Buddie's
bright red shoes or the naked
feet of John Bull the Henglishman.
The dust of antiquity rests upon
the Hanging Gardens of Babylon,
but Ebenezer as you will see, is
an enquiring animal and so partic
ularly is woman. We must know
about things-ours in general and
others in particular and this as
Thos. Jefferson said, is a natural,
inalienable, indefensible and indes
tructible and insurmountable right
of a free citizen of a free country
like this used to be.
Before closing this "extempore"
disquisition on Hanging j Gardens
pemit mo to say to Patience Peier
kin and Thankful Walpole, to whom
we are indebted for this most
original conception and most glori
oas and successfal fruition-this
1 think that every mother's son
And every father's daughter
Should drink at least till twenty-one
Just nothing but cold water
(Thich is funished by Silas Daggett)
*nd after that, they might drink
But nothing any stronger;
If all folks would agree with me,
They'd live a great deal longer."
In conclusion, fellow students of
this Deestrick Skule: This day we
celebrate the gbrious event and
epoch of the settlement, foundation,
establishment, commencement and
beginning of this illustrious Dee
strick Skule. When we contemplate
that great event our mortal intel
lects are whirled' away into a con
glomeration of rotary confusions
and wc are hardly able to tell
whether or not time has touched us
and rolled back his winged wheels
or simply whether we have been
taking a little Rip-Van-Winkle
?leep and been suddenly waked in
to the electric light of the 20th cen
Woman's Christian Temperance
The regular meeting of the W.
C. T. U. will be held on Tuesday
afternoon at 4 o'clock at the home
of Mrs. BL E. Barker and Mrs. C.
A full attendance is desired that
we may pay tribute to the memory
of our late national president, Mrs.
Lillian M. N. Steven?, who has
passed into "the great beyond"
since the last meeting.
Devotions, Mrs. Rainsford.
Business and financial report.
Mrs. Lillian M. N. Stevens,
March 1, 1844-April 6, 1914.
Biographical sketch, Mrs. E. J.
"My mother," Mrs. Gertrude
Stevens Leavitt. Mrs. W. E. Lott.
Mrs. Stevens last words written
for the public," Mrs. J. W. Stew
Mrs. Stevens parting hours, Mrs.
Song, Shall we meet beyond the
'Some good news from the
front," Mrs. J. L. Mims.
"South Carolina hills" solo and
quartette, Mrs. R. G. Shannonhouse,
Mrs. J. R. Tompkins, Mrs. W. L.
WE endeavor \
plete line fron
shipment of wi
In this line yoi
terns. The ei
crepes are espe
nice line of sill
find a fit for a
Red Cross ar
styles. The C
to supply the h
on it this seaso
in the operation and upkeep of a METZ "22" as compared with
other cars, eventually equals the purchase price. The original cost
of a METZ is actually returned to you in economies. You save
money when you buy it, and everv hour you run it.
1914 I IMPROVEMENTS
METZ "22" $475
WINNER OF THE GLIDDFN TOUR
TH K li KARL ISSS ('AK-Xl) PLUTCII To ?LU1 - SO I? KARS TO STRIP]
THE METZ **22M is the most economical car on the market to
operate. It travels from 28 to 32 miles on ONE -.-allon of gasoline,
ll j miles on ONE pint lubricating oil, and from 10,000 to 12,000
miles on a ??ingle set of tires. It is speedy and stylish, and exceed
ingly duranie-a thoroughly practical car.
The METZ team of three cai- .von miles per hour on the high speed,
the last Glidden Tour in competition and climbs h?ls as fast as any regu
with cars costing from five to ten lar stock car made. It is a fully
times us mn;'1.; and the three METZ guaranteed car, torpedo semi-enclos
cars were the ONLY team that held ed body, left-hand drive and center
a PERFECT .SCORE, without addi- controi, fitted with standard equip
tional allowance or time ex tension of ment throughout, including 4-cylin
anykind, for ?he entire eight days j-g?^^^?5
of the contest. best quality Goodrich clincher tires,
The METZ "22" makes from 5 to 50 etc.
DEALERS WANTED FOR EDGEFIELD AND AIKEN COUNTIES.
R. H. MIDLET0N, Gen. Distributor
Clarks Hill, S. C.
Dunovant, Mrs. G. F. M i ms.
This selection has been adopted
[)y the state executive committee as
:he W. C. T. IT. state cong.
Mrs. J. L. M i ms.
, 15.00 Flannel suits at $8.00. We
ire determined to give the best
,-alue in Augusta for the money.
Palm Beach suits $6.50, $8.00
F G Mertins, Augusta, Ga.
We have just received a large
shipment of eastern Irish potatoes
for seed. Can supply all of the popu
Penn & Holstein.
We have added a touring car to
our livery equipment and all calls,
either day or nislit, will be prompt
ly answered. A competent driver
will have charge of the car.
Wilson & Cantelou.
to always carry in stock a cbm
i which our patrons can make
3 and have just received a large
ash goods to replenish our stock.
i will find many attractive pat
mbroidered crepes and figured
ii Hosiery in ladies and mens, four
3d for 4 months for $1.00. Also
k hose at 50c. and $1.00 per pair,
led American Lady Corset. You
3 Tango Pumps just received.
id American Lady Oxfords in all
olonial Pump in Patient and Gun
^ Department is kept well supplied
irge demand that nas been made
Yours to serve,