Newspaper Page Text
Vol. IX. WEDNESDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 19, 1873. No.7.
EVERY WEDNESDAY MORNING,
At Newberry -. H.,
BT THOS. F. GRENEKER,
Editor and Proprie:or.
Terms, $2.50 per Jnnum,
Invariably in Adrar.ce.
37 Th paper is stoped at the expiration of
time for which it is paid.
C The o mark de:ote. expiratiou of sub
Colleges and academies.
Williamston Female CoIlege,
ZJ The Spring Sessiont Oenis February
Rates per Session of 2) weeks, I ADVA\CF..
Board, excluding washing and li;;hts, 7V.00
Regular Tuitio.-, includi;:g Latin.
Greek, and Vocal Music.. 10.m) to 25.60
Instrumental Music_. 2o.00
Williamiston is a quiet, up-country village,
near the mountains, on the Gre,nville and
Columbia Railroad. iS riles from Newber
rv. The Institution is non-sectarian, de
pending for its support upon its own ier
its, and earnestly laboring to elevate the
standard of Female Education.
The Annual Vacation occurs in the win
ter, so tht pupils have the benefit of a
tsummer residence near the
Celebratea Viliamston .Chalybeate Spring,
thus improving ti e'r health while prosecu
ting their studies.
No:.-I wi! leave Columbia on Satur
day morning. Feb. 1, to escort to William
ston any pupils who may meet me either
th-re or on'the way.
For a Catalogue, address
REV. SAMUEL LANDER. A. M.,
.1, 1-2. Presii nt.
This is, as to its present organiz-tion, the
oldest Female College in the State.
An able and experienced Teacher of Mu
sic and the Modern Ltguages, has recent
ly been added to the Faculty, in the person
of Dr. Henry Anisausel, of Geneva, Swit
The advantages are equal to the best and
tle expenses as reasonab!e as those of any
Over one hundred (100) pupils are now
There is room for a few rOre.
Apply at once to
J. 1. BONNER, P:es.,
Due West, Abbev;ile Co., S. C.
Jan. 29, 4-1m.
. P. PIFER, M . A., : : : Principal.
Miss FANNIE LEAVELL, :: Assistant.
Prof. F. WEREE, : : Musical Dep't.
TtIE Exercises of thme above School will
be resumed on TUESDAY, 7th JANUARY,
Tuition from $12.5Q to $22.50) per Session.
Paid in advance or satisfactorily secured.
Pupils will be charged from date of ent
trance to the end of the Session. No re
duction except in cases of protracted ill
Plain, substantial boarding can he ob
tained with the Principal at Sl5 per month.
For particulars, &c., apply to
S. P. BOOZE R, Es.q., See. B'd.
COL. S. FAlR, Pres't.
Jan. 1, 1--tf.
Invaluable in Teethxing, and Summer Comn
plaints of Children. Cures
DIARR HG A,
And other Diseases, incident to the period
Unlike thme "Soothinz Syrups," now so
widely, used, this CORDIAL contatins
Or other injurioue Drug. It is comn posed of
the very best materials, and should be
found in every Nursery. The best physi
cians reco:mnmend it.
Dr. H. BAER,
CHARLESTON, S. C
gy For sale by MOTTE & TA RRANT,
Newberry, S. C. May :3, 13-tf.
C. M. HARRIS,
Cabinet Maker &Undertaker.
Has on hand and will make to order, Bed
steads, Bureads, Wardrobes, Safes, Sofas,
Se ttees, Lounges, &c.
Cabinet Work of all kinds made and re
paired on liber.m! terms.
HIas on han:i a full supply of' Metalic, Ma
hugny and Rosewood Barial Cases.
Coffins matde to order at short notice, and
Oct 9 40 tt. MARTIN HARRIS.
THlE SUBSCRIBER has constantly oc
hand a full assortment of the above approved
cases, of different patterns, besides coffins
of his own nmake, all of which he is prepared
to furnish at very r.?asonable rates, with
promptness and despatch.
Persons desirous of haing cases sentby
railroad will have them sent free of charge.
A Hearse is always otn htand and will be
furnished at the rate of Slo per day.
Thankful for past patronage, the sub
scriber respectfully asks for a continuation
of thte same, andt assures the public that
no effort ont his part will be spar to render
thte utmost satisfaction.
A. C. Chd2MAN
Newberry S. C., July 31.
Music Given Away.
We will order "P:as' McstcAL. MONT
z.Y" to be sent for otne year to any one who.
wili ~:,d u- "ve ubscribers to our paper.
T.ittk of it !You can get at lea:t Sixty
B.aan:iful Sontgs. Duets, and Ghoruses, and
f--on fiftv :o sixty Piano pieces, worth at
lea.s: t 4, by seeding us five subscribers to
ou pmpe. Feb. 5. 5-tf.
Away to her, fresh morning breeze,
Uplift and blow aside
Her snowy cirtain, and with ease
Approach her undenied.
And lightly kiss her mouth and eyes,
And lightly lift her hair,
And blow about her where she lies
This scent that fills the air.
Of apple.blossomls sweet, tilat she
May, waking, long to know
What newly-flowering shrub or tree
Sweetens the morning so.
And past the cloudy curtain there
Lean forth, perhaps, to see,
Sweet, fresh and fair, and unaware,
Be seen herself by me!
'Tis long, long after sunset,
And cloudless is the sky,
Yet strangeiy Jaint the stars are,
And strangely faint an I ;
Behind the hiding mountain
They krow the moon is near
And shining at her window
Soon will my Love appear.
-From.The Al-line for January.
1Y GHRIST]WAS 000E.
HOW IT WAS COoKED.
HOW I GOT IT.
It was the day before Christmas
Day, and the warehouse had just
been- closed, and I was going home
ward to Simpole street, which, I
am aware, is not in the most aristo
cratic quarter ofthe town ; but I
am fond of it to this day, for it
was there that Annie and I learn
ed to be very happy on a small
Well, the warehouse had been
closed, and I was turning into
Denman road, when some one
slapped me on the back, and a
voice gave torth, "Why, Tom, my
lad, it's a long time since last I
saw you; where have you been all
these years ?"
I turned half round, and beside
me stood a rather tall fellow, not
very well dressed, and with a
countrified manner, whom at first
I could not recognize, but be see
ing my confused look, continued
"Well, L'm blest, don't you remem
ber the old farm-house, and the
lane, and the church with the
crooked steeple, and" --
"And how are you, Joe ?" 1
broke in. "What a numbskull I
must be not to remember my old
schoolmate, Joe Twining! How
is the old place getting on ?
"Getting on !" he echoed ; "nay,
it has not got on five inches these
twelve years that you have been
away. Get on? It has not the
power for any such exertion; it
just sticks there as if it had been
"founded upon a rock," and a con
foundedly barren rock into the
As he was going in my direction,
we joined company, and he told
me all the village news-that his
old sweetheart had jilted him and
gone off, whither, nobody seemed
to know. "But they do say the
young squire could say something
respecting her, if he would, for
you know he had to leave college
on account of some such scrap)e.
He had used to pass her father's
pretty frequently at one time; but,
latterly, he has not had quite so
much business in that neighbor
"You had better suspect me, Joe,"
I said. "You know, when we
were lads, we'vo often quarreled as
to who should carry her school
books-poor Lizzy !"
I"Suspect thee, Tom ?-nay, nay ;
I'd almost as soon suspect myself.
But we will drop thbe subject if you
have no objection ; it is not a very
pleasing one to me. But if I do
find out the right man"
We had now arrived at the cor
ner- of Simpole street, and I stop
ped and held out my hand.
"Won't you come and have a
glass with me,just for old acquaint
ance sake?" said he. "My! it is
It was cold, and so thinking
that both Annie and my tea could
wait a fe w minutes, I thankfully
accepted the invitation.
"Come along," ho resumed; "I
have some friends who keep a
smais tavern in Turner street;
that's the next street but one,
ain't it ?"
"Then, unless you have some
preference, we'll go there. They
are very decent people, though
they only keep a small house, and
they sell very good stuff."
So along Turner street we went,
and entered a rather dingy hostel
ry, laving a frontispiece of white
paint, daubed at random on a black
ground. I followed Joe into the
bar parlor. Eight or ten men
were talking, smoking and play
ing cards before a large fire; they
welcomed Joe as an old acquaint
The landlady soon after entered
the room. "Mesthur Twining,"
she said, addressing Joe, "we're
goin' to have a raffle for that
goose," pointing to one that hung
in a corner of the room. "Will
you try yore chance, or will yore
friend hev a shillin's worth?"
Joe declined-said that he was
not a married man ; but I had not
yet bought my Christmas dinner,
and knew that I should have to
provide one. Moreover, if I won
the goose, it would certainly be
cheap; while if I lost a shilling is
nothing to cry about, so I paid my
shilling and inouired at what hour
the raffle was to take place.
"Nine o'clock, an' its aftber eight
now," said mine hostess; "you'd
better stay till it' o'er."
"Very well, bring me some more
ale," I replied.
Joe and I now began to talk of
school days and our juvenile com
bats which often had been the
means of giving each of us a
swollen nose, pair of black eyes,
not to mention the sound thrash
ing that, from our respective
fathers, invariably followed our
encounters. Soon, one of Joe's
friends proposed that we should
join him at a hand of "all fourst'
and accepting his offer, just to pass
away the time till nine o'clock, we
ordered some more ale, and sat
down to cards. The impression
left on my mind by that game of
cards is, that Joe and his friend
were always winning, while I, on
tbe other hand, was always losing;
but the two praised my p!aying
so highly, and said with such
earnestness that I should ruin
them, that I could not but believe
their statement that I had won
nearly every game. Once or t wice
we were almost quarreling over
some point of the game, but we
recovered our tempers, and on ac
count of these slight interruptions
became the more thoroughly jovial
AL last the clock struck nine,
and when our hostess made her
appearance, bearing a large basin,
we left our cards and the whole
party got around her like so many
liens about to be fed. It would be
needless to recoun t in detail - the
dicing-for two ivory cubes were
the appointed judges upon whose
decision the fate of the goose de
pended-suffice it that I chanced
to throw double sixes.
"And a fine cheap bird it is;
plenty of people will have to spend
a vast deal mnore' nor that's cost
you for their dinners," said one of
"And not every one who has
spent a shilling has had the good
fortune to get a goose for it," said
As I handled the noble bird
and it was very plump and fat
I bccame thoroughly happy..
Here,.indeed, was a present such
as any wife ought to be glad to
receive just before Christmas D)ay.
How Annie would stare when I
should gravely inform her that it
only cost a shilling. In my delight
I hugged Joe, and tried to do the
same to the landlady ; being foiled'
in this I turned to the party, ask.
ed them to order something to
drink, promising to pay tbe score,
$nd persisted in shaking hand
with each person in the room. Uip
to that moment, I fancy that they
had drunk nothing more expensive
than beer; but, at my invitation,
wine became in full requisition,
and I was by all stated to be a jolly
good fellow, and one who deserved
success in life.
After some time spent in doing
something-I don't know what
I said something to somebody
here again memory fails to record
oither the anibient or the nergo..
and somebody knocked me down,
giving rme a black eye, after which
I became filends with everybody,
and said. it was getting tea time
and I must go home. I have some
sort of recollection of trying to
persuade the goose to come home
with me, an.d, on its refusal, of'
calling it an old fool, and threaten
ing to carry it, if it wouldn't
walk. It did not seem disposed to
comply with my wish, so I carried
it. The goose was heavy; I had
grasped it by the head, its neck
being on my shoulder and its body
swinging against my back. I
eculd hardly hold it; it made me
halt at every step, and the motion
of its wings caused me to walk
from one side of the road to the
other in a very peculiar manner,
until at length, quite exhausted, I
full at full length on my own door
step. Of what followed I have
no knowledge; but when I awoke
next morning I found myself in
bed, and Annie in one of her worst
tempers, and when I attempted to
appease her anger by telling her
of the cheap goose, she called it a
nasty slutchy thing-and it is true
that the bird was rather muddy
and, somehow, I got a dreadful cold.
HOW WE COOKED IT.
Th. week before Christmas was
rapidly passing away, Saturday
had become "to-day," and I was
not sorry that the week was so
nearly over. I had asked Annie's
pardon, and it had been given me
-not that I had dore any action
that required forgiveness-not
that I had been drunk or any
way near it-I knew well that all
night had passed without my
being in the least intoxicated.
Certainly I may have spent rather
more money than we could well
afford. But all my knowledge
was of no avail; Annie had settled
in her mind that I had been drunk,
and, in consequence, she was in a
bad humor, and seemed very un
happy ; so in order to bring about
our old state of happiness and
quiet~comfort, for the sin of drunk
enness I asked and obtained par
During the week I had been
"counting cost," and found that
my estimate of the price paid for
my goose had been considerably
below the reality. for on reckon
ing may cash I discovered that
that evening had caused in it a
diminution to the extent of twenty
shillings, whereas had Annie and
I gone to market an outlay of
from four to six shillings would
have procured a goose, in every
way equal to the one that now
hung in the celler. Therefore, I
could not but consider that the
goose had cost fourteen shillings
more than its value, and in addition
to this I caught cold, of which I
had some difficulty in ridding my
It was Christmas Eve-the
goose-"m y goose" Annie would
persist in calling it-wvas roast
ing before the fire; this was the last
item of our Chiristmas dinner, and,
of course, it would be the chief;
all the others had been cooked and
laid aside, so that on the morrow
we could go to church without any
fear of finding burnt pies or sooty
gravy awaiting us on our return.
Every one knows that there are a
thousand andone never failing rem
edies for a cold; and the morning
had made me acquainted with one
to which I had hitherto been a
stranger. A friend, seeing my con
dition, had prescribed two wine
glasses full of raw brandy boiled,
and I had decided upon taking
alike his advice and the brandy.
Annie and I were seated one on
each side of the fire-she watch
ing the goose-I, the brandy,
whbich was in a small saucepan on
the fire. The goose hissed in a
pleasant, if not melodious manner,
while the cat on the boiler purred
a monotone accompaniment, keep
ing time with her tail.
"Just a quarter of an hour, and
your goose will be beautifully
done," said the wife.
But she was not quite correct,
for the goose wvas done in less
time than she imagined. Hardly
five minutes had elapsed, when a
mouse stole along by the wainscot
board: nna made 2. anin 'fdr.
ward, knocked against the sauce
pan handle-over went the sauce
pan into the goose-tin, some of the
brandy caught fire by coming in
contact with the hot bars, the fire
was communicated to the iat from
the goose, and before we fully;
comprehended what was taking
place, our Christmas goose was
hissing derisively at us from
behind a buckler of flame.
Aanie screamed-I look amazed;
and I fancy that I used bad
language. Happily, there was
nothing inflammable close by the
goose-tin ; but before we could ex
tinguish the fire, our goose-"my
goose"-was cooked-to a cinder.
WOOL AND WOOL PRoDucrs.
The wool product of the coun
try in 1871 was set down at 146,
000,000 pounds, and the imports
during the same period exceeded
78,000,000 pounds. The clip for the
present year, if* the latest statistics
may be relied on does not much
exceed 100, 090: 000 pounds. The
losses by the fire in Boston, taking
all woolen goods and reducing
the whole to raw material, are said
to have been equal to the destruc
tion of 40,000, 000 pounds, but this
is probably an exaggeration.
Previous to the fire there was a
surplus of woolen goods in the
country and this is one.aeason why
manufacturers sought to fo r , o
down tLe price of the last clip.
Fai mers, how':'-r chose to hold,
except those who were sagacious
enough, or whose necessity caused
them to sell at, or contract before,
sheariug time. The reaction being,
decided, it is not improbable that
wool will continue to bring remun
erative prices during the whole
BANES AND ANTIDOTES OF Do
MESTIc LIFE.-The banes of do
mestie life are littleness, falsity,
vulgarity, harshness, scolding, vo
ciferation, an incessant issuing of
superfluous prohibitions and or
ders, which are regarded as imper
tinent interferences xith the gene
ral liberty and repose, and are
provocative of rankling or explo
ding resentments. The blessed
antidotes that sweeten and enrich
domestic life are refinement, high
aims,great interests,soft voices,qui
et and gentle manners, magnani
mous tempers, for bearance from all
unnecessary commands of dicta
tion, and generous allowances of
mutual freedom. Love makes obo
dlience lighter than liberty. Man
wears a noble allegiance, not as a
collar,but as a garland. The graces
are never as lovely as when seen
waiting on the virtues; and where
they thus dwell together, they
make a heavenly home.
[The Friendship of Women.
DEATH OF THlE NOBLE YOUNG MAN.
-A young man in Indianapolis re
cently determined to abandon the use
of tobacco. He was told that iced
drinks Wvould diminish his hankering
for the weed. So on' the first day he
drank three gallons of iced water, and
still feeling a desire to smoke, he add
ed two qluarts of cold buttermilk.
He went to .bed with the cheerful
conviction that he had conquered his
craving, and so he had. The next
day he did not desire to smoke at all,
for the simple reason that he was dead.
The iced water, the iced buttermilk,
the abandonment of his cigar, and two
doctors who were called in consulta
tion, proved to be too much for the
noble young man.
FATAL RAILROAD ACCIDENT.-Two
fatal accidents occurred on Saturday,
at Shelton, on the Spartanburg and
Union Railroud. Charles Oglesby, in
attempting to get on the train, made
a misstep and falling, was dragged to
the trestle beyond the station, when
he fell through, a distance of forty feet,
striking a piece of timber below, caus
ing death in about an hour.
On the sanme day Robert Burns,
colored, fell from the bridge at Alston
into the river and was drowned. An
inquest was held by S. W. Raff, Coro
ner, and a verdict rendered in accord
ance with the fact.
A mischievous boy in Oil City,recent
ly, put some nitro-glycerine in his
sister's bustle when she was going out
skating. He is now an only child.
Newbern is to have a "Shadow
Ball," that is the dancers are to wear
iFox THE HIRALD.
MOUNT PLEASANT, S. C.,
MR. EDITOR: We have fully come
in for our share of cold weather, which
has been the severest experienced in
this section for a number of years
not only bitter cold, but of a longer
continuance than any spell most of us
can remember. As a consequence,
our Truck Farmers began to be very
uneasy, and to wear rather lugubrious
faces, but, though the early Peas 1
which had ventured above ground
have been cut down in some cases, it
is not believed that any very serious c
or permanent damage has been done
so early in the season, and the fact of
the cold occurring so soon, induces
the hope that the greater proportion
has already come, and that chances of
a favorable Spring are to be looked
for. This is a desideratum "greatlyi
to be wished," and would do much to t
enable vegetable growers to make up t
the losses of last season, the results of
which were not encouraging, especially t
to an enterprise almost in its incipien
I have not heretofore mentioned
the improvements effected by the pro
prietors of "Fogarties Book Deposito
ry," in the Bend of King Street-the
great resort of the ladies, and of many
who have the time to avail themselves
of the facilities and accomm,.dations
furnished by the courteous gentlemen
who conduct the business.
The store has been lengthened sev-1
enty feet, with skylights above, which
last arrangement has greatly aided in
lighting the building-a great help to
the readers whose eyes want aid, and
improving the effect of the whole.
The Circulating Library has been re
moved to the rear, is well supplied
with all the newest publications of the
day, and is well patronized, especially
by the ladies. The tables supplied
with all the leading magazines, offer
very tempting inducements to spend
an spare hour. and in the constant
stream of visitors many opportunities
occur of meeting with acquaintances
from various sections of the country,
and in forming pleasant associations
with new ones.
On the second floor are the rooms
of the "Pro. Episcopal Society, for the
Advancement of Christianity in So.
Ca.," in which the Library is located.
This is a very old and valuable Socie
ty, well known and justly popular
throughout the State, which has done
much in former years, and yet in re
duced means from the results of the
war, is doing a great deal, and work
ing nobly in "building up the waste
places of Zion."
On the third floor the "Clerical
Union" have their neat and comfort
able apartments, where the clergy of
all denominations hold their weekly
meetings; a pleasant interchange of
good feeling and brotherly association,
which must do much to develope a
true Christian spirit and charity.
The Messrs. Fogartie seem to be
lieve in the efficacy of Printers' Ink,
to judge from the long advertisements
I observe in your paper and several
others. The stock of miscellaneous
publications is very large and varied,
and ample arrangements effected for
supplying any works which may be
needed, and all the leading American,
Einglish and Standard Books.
There are three Stores under the
"Masonic Temple" instead of two, as
stated in my former letter ; the mid
dle one being occupied by Messrs.
Melchers & Muller, and neatly ar
ranged for Dry Goods.
The large red Iron Front Store of
Mr. J. W. Linley, which he has so
appropriately arranged and fitted up,
in King, near Cumberland Street. ap
pears to draw largely, and evidences
that he ".is at home" in his vocation,
as well as courteous and attentive to
Some Washington gossip about the
rival railway schemes in Mexico, here
with printed, is flavored with genuine
Americanism. it is gravely asserted
that the representative of one of the
contesting companies lost $300,000
while playing "poker" with a party of
Congressmen, and that they immedi
ately after got their scheme through
Congress. The inference is that theI
loss at cards was a trick to cover the
transfer of a bribe, and that the game
"wasn't on the square." Investigating
Coamme are not in vogne in i
TOO MUCH FOR MIDGET.
Tinikins, Tarbox, and Midget, a
,onvivial trio. They were mar
-ied men, and yet they spent many
>f their evenings at the tavern,
hus leaving undone duties which
ight to have been done, and do
ng a great many things which
>ight never to have been done.
)ne night the trio sat at the fes
ive board of Pimple's tavern un
il very near midnight, at which
iour they were about as drunk as
nen could be and not be dead. A
lispute arose touching the pay.
nent of the bill for the evening's
"Hold on." said Timkins. "Let'r
ie till t'morrow. When we get
ome our wives '11 be sure to tell
is to do some unaccountable thing,
,nd if ary one of us refuses to do
he first thing his wife tells him
o do after he gets into the house,
e shall pay fur the whole bill for
This was agreed to, and it was
urther stipulated that each should
,ive a true account of the result
-t their next meeting. On the
ollowing evening the friends met
gain. Timkins led off:
"Well, boys," said he, "I had a
ough one, but I did it. It was
lark as pitch in the house when I
,ot home, and as I was lumbering
brough the kitchen, I stumbled
gainst the store, and knocked
lie tea-kettle off on to the floor.
'hat started my wife, and she sang
>ut to me:
"Say, you brute, tip over the cook.
ng stove, and be done with it !"
"No sooner said than done. I
;ave the old thing a h'ist, and over
t went. My eyes! Didn't my
vife come out of bed! but I did
Tarbox next gave his experi.
"Good for you, Tim.; but I'm
iven with you, though my job
vasn't quite so tough. When I
)ot hone I had to get into the
iouse through the butterz win
low, as usual, and I've no doubt
,bat I made considerable of a clat
,er among the tin pans. If my
wife had been asleep she woke up.
"That's right !" she called out,
it the top of her voice. "Tip
hings over, won't you? Don't
niss the cream pot. Upset that too."
"I knew the pot must be nearly
'ull of cream, but I'd got the or
ler,'and was bound to obey, and
ver went the next churnin' on to
he floor. What befell me very
hortly afterward and what par
icular language Mrs. Tarbox used
>n the occasion, I won't say, but I
Midget came next, and he ap
roached the subject of his narra
~ive with downcast looks:
"Well, boys," he said, "I s'pose
['ve got to foot the bill. UJnfortu
sately my wife asked too much of
me. When 1 got home 1 found the
sack door unlocked,ao I got into the
house without making much noise;
ut in going up stairs, I stumbled,
Lnd the racket of my fall was
iuickly echoed by Mrs. Midget's
roice, pitched in a most snappish
mnd peremptory key :
"There," Midget,she cried, "turn
:e again ! Tumble and break your
vorthless neck !"
Says I: "That's too much for
Kiidget! I'd rather pay the bill at
~he tavern." "A.nd so boys, I'll
ExcuRsroN TO EURoPE.-A Ma
onic excursion is in course of prepara
ion at Columbia, Pennsylvania, for a
~rip to Europe, with a special purpose
f visiting the great laternational
Exhibition at Vienna. They start
i,bout the first of June next, and will
make an extended tour through Great
Britain as well as on the Continent.
A contract has already been entered
into for carrying a limited number
:>cean passage, railroad fare, hotel bills
and all other expenses incident to the
trip, all paid. A fine opportunity
here presents itself for making a cheap
a.nd pleasant tour to the Old World.
Persons desiring further information
on the subject should address A. M.
RAMBO, editor of the C'ourant, Colum
The President has pardoned Eli Ross
Stewart and Robert Hayes Mitchell of
this State, who had been convicted as
Ku Klun, and wer in tbe Albany
Advertisements inserted at the rate of $1.00
per square-one Ineb-forfirst insertion, and
75c. for each subsequent insertion. Double
column advertisements tenper cent on above.
Notices of meetings, obituaries and tributes
of respect, same rates per square as ordinary
Special notices in local column 20 cgnts
Advertisements not marked with the num
ber of Insertions will be kept in till forbid
and charged accordingly.
Special contracts made with large adver.
tisen, with liberal deductions on above rates
Done with Neatness and Dispatch.
TURKEY TOO MUCH.
Several mornings since a gentle
man residing-no matter where
bought a fine turkey in the South
ern Market, and ordered it sent to
his home, mentioning the number
--as we will say, 46. Now 46 is
a few doors from our friend's
house, and is occupied by a very
pretty and dashing widow of lim
ited means. A little later in the
morning Mrs. - had occasion
to go to the market for sone cele
ry, when the following confab en
Market-man: "How did you
like ihat turkey ?"
Mrs. -: "What turkey ?"
"Market-man: "Why, the one
your husband bought and sent
bome to No. 46. Wasn't the num
ber right !"
Mrs. - smelled a large-sized
mice, but said, "Oh, yes, that is all
right," and she left, smiling as
hough some one was boring a
balf-inch auger bole through the
small of her back.
At dinner her husband said, "My
Jear, will you have some of the
Mrs. - : "No, I'll take tar.
Husband: "I don't see any tur
key. Where is it?"
Mrs. -: "Why it's in No. 46,
just where you sent it, and you
bad better go right there now and
get your dinner !"
The blushes of the culprit were
hidden by a scene which occurred
at this juncture. His physician
says he don't think the mark of
the plate will remain permanently
over his eye, but all the efforts of
dermatology will never restore his
hair that has been removed by the
boiling coffee. Served him right ;
he should follow Sam's advice, and
bevare of vidders.
SIIOPPING IN PARIS.
The following scene, it is said
took place in a Paris rmagazin :
An elegantly dressed lady asked
to see some material for paletots.
The shopman mounted the steps
and took down several pIeces of
"The rain would spoil it," said
the lady. "Show me some swan
Several pieces being laid upon
the counter-"Too thick," said
the lady, after an examination of
ten minutes; "show me some la
Several great rolls were laid be
fore her. They were too thin.
Then came velvet, silk, satin,
moire, until the counter disappear
ed under the piles of stuff, behind
which stood the nearly invisible
shopman still patient and polite.
At last, "I have decided," said the
customer, "in favor of flannel, blue
Ten or twelve pieces were laid
upon the heap.
"That will do," she said, after a
long and minute scrutiny. "How
much will it take to make a dog's
paletot ?" and she held up a micro
scopic toy terrier.
"A paletot ?" asked the shop.
man, not at all disconcerted, and,
appearing to make a mental calcu
lation, "Will it have pockets, mad
There is a wheat field on the west
side of the San Joaquin river. Califor
nia, .35 miles in length by eight in
breadth, with an area of 179,000 acres.
Estimating the average yield at six
teen bushels to the acre, it would give
a total yeild of 2,864,200 bushels, or
86,015 tons. This amount of grain
would load 8.601 ears, which, if made
up in one train, would reach for over
Florence Nightingale urges women
to put themselves in training, precise
ly as men do, for special lines of busi
ness.. This is exactly what all women
would be glad to do. if they were per
mitted-and what many of them, we
are cheered to believe, are doing in this
country at this time.
An old Dutch tavern-keeper who
had his third wife thus expresses his
views of matrimony:
"Well, you see, de first dime I
married for love, dat ish goot ; den I
marries for beaudy, dat ish goot doo,
aboud ash goot ash de first; but dish
dime I marries for money, and dos ish