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TRE HTE RA L DA. IS PUBLISMED EVERY WEDNESDAY MOTQ4ING, At Newberry C. 1.,r . P. GRHNEKER, Edjtor and Proprietor. - *4) -er .f"""U)fl A Family Companion, I)evoted to Literature, Misellany, Nw, Agriculture, Markets, &c. Iuvariably in Advance. 4- ~'rhe,~issto~pedat the expiration, Of - --- - -- -- --- - - - aThe =rk denotes expirationo WEDNESDAY MORNING, DECEM BER 16, 1874. No. 5. Ad4TerjTi e rm s asdah aeo 10 aMiscellaneous. WE NEW YR TRIUNE "The -r.aming American Newspaper-" 'iDbi"'k ORACE GREELEY e recent elections the people have declarei SUior of honest'in politics and independenc lism. T'iTrmu.E, which years a_ declared that it was not and never more wouli .tssparty ergan,claims the verdict. as thepopu ar vdication of its course, and recognizes w 4he result the voice qf.he people for reterm, an ite ty in government, for candor and inde amo rs. During the cam a~z~ ds 4hed THE TalBUNE ha m nn its right to the title of t1s Ledin American Newspaper." This positiot it=sa earned and retained for the following Onjong other reasons: It publishes all the news, earlier, more fully and more intelligently than any other paper. It insists on ace throughout the whole coun. local self-goernment, and th -_ " Wladmes in the exercise of thel and legal rights. -It:advoctes codfdence and good feeling be tireen North and South and labors for an hon. st and abiding reconciliation. It maintains fairness and candor toward a] va2hJ&UeaaDAQU6onsand dignity and cour N&rdAuates rAvals. IpaUlahes scientific news, reports, discussion1 and. AKtO a decree of fullness and acca S if&ie attained by any paper. W ,es every wek ten or more columns of thf S hareuwm bme spk'ultural matter du Xft hbyer, zuWmore 1 the aggregate that i enthre contents of any other agricultura pub & a the wA rmin a departmen1 wb jnm heat i editor said any otherindeence which ever existed." It has published a series of scientidc and liter ary extras whice have met a wider sale and mor a ae than any similm TE SOUT N PRESS SAY 01 THE TIU We consider Tu Tatuxx a very valuabl( X. C. Citir.en. in. its faithful and of outrsge slanders on Ala States, o haSt done,immense service -.djatie.-Macon, Ga., Telegraph and T Nzw Yanx Tarmtrxx for it uwerl words in demanding Justice g[ Albsma.--Montgolnery, Ala. S hisse in the world is the NEw T1Tbarsuu .t combines the dignity and aWyof the Lndon Times with the repre atftivenwMenterprise of America.-taltimore A paper to be admired for its Independence of tone and its reliability of news.-Episcopal Xethod, Bltmore, Md. Any one wbo wants a first-class paper' which keeps fully up withthe times in literature, scienc ad art shouid subscribe for THE TEuBuNE. aabnrg, S. C.. Carolina Spartan. - imperial sheet of the world, THE NEW Yoax TaRusE-Jacksonville, Fla.. New South. We v ditls tbbestpaper of all published n e t ne Stats- orristown, Tenn., Ga =tte. TT.dW' VM Nw Yolm TzaU is undoubt edly Vhe&At:4tAmeisaan newspapers; whatever may be aid of its rivals, it has clearly won precedence of all, and very creditably does it repmeenttbejournalism of the country. Whilt dqsiUg-w&h al the topics coming within tht range of a newspaper. &a TaiBuxE makes a specialty of the. grest subject of agriculture. It bectmes therefore a matter of vital importance to the country that the direction of the Ideas of this ys,t section should be in able and couscien hands,tnd a =mtasfor congratulation that mer's newspaper par excellence has the hghOlanding of the THz TusacN.-The N. Y. South. -az Niw Yoax Tamuxic is doing a great wak in populariing Science, by the publication *feheapextras tothat great daily.-Our Monthly, Clinton, S. C. American newspaper enterprise is probably a' this %haoruRy ilJustrated in the daily issues of T9z Nzw- Yoar TRisBu. than in any other JOUMaML--Wim.4gton, N. C., Star. ruequalled in culture, dignity, comprehensive breadth, polish of expression and intelsectual; fettered : no party ties, boited indecencies ol 2ee*h amn-Iysteric with no wild sensations. Naleigh, . C., Agricultural Journal. Su the paper has maintaiued successfuliv the high popularity which he bequeathed it, and j=Mt air-ably conducted and. independent h now deserves even more justly y tUrneduring Mr. Greeley's life. Va., Inde and Appeal. TPRM OF THE TRIBUNE. Daily, by mi~~'afS10'~per fear; Seinmi-Weekly, p3 er year; five copies, $2.5. each. ec t eek .82er vear; ten copies, 15eah -aKcases.paid by TRxTmzntn Agents wanted in every tcwn to whom libera] cash commissions will be paid. Specimen copies, circulars and posters free. AddresTEE TRIBUNE, New York. T4v. 25, 47-tf. THE TRUE SOUTHRON, THE PAPER FOR THE TIMEES. Independent and Fearless-Devoted to thei Interests of the Good and True People the Country, and especially of the - SUTPRMACT OF THE WHITE RACE. Published without the aid of any Officia: Fatronage whatever, and appeals alone ~Jthe FIBDSOF RONtESTY AN~D GOOD) gaVEsKT for. support in its ight against villainy. We call upon the WHITE MEN oF SorTE CAEOLzNA-tbose who desire to redeem ou: State from the abomination of thieving in truderi domestic scoundrels and mongre. leie5 ho have acquired place and pow ezlra&the tnstrumnentaHty of negro su: Radcial corrpioit e nve aaa trueCrlna Wes ta te are adetrermi, hernfort the ublaiono earlsapet oveir view ye.say, candidyo, patnge.or supportn Tharty i iller ven dnethoer ulon1 AoDVAr CE, with endavong to depruebs. To Business, and allrs eashiis t( rition ouc evrer t rue th a o inan iche il plasceusy ondt l te n rea nito al the r dornhae aen eaed Coo the te Stliatoe ftisppr.vreg er-nd sap yor ponage copy. S.CBSCRIPET0 EPRICE, S'MTA EA, . C ADACE, wihAeuctiopretorub. ToBuin esMenl nfohrs, desifrind.t advertse, we b t say nthal, thira Tin osc is tuplied th ompetet paperul ointsr. wtih erveant es. gLiberiall tie dad Eto ern Coun egunean sanp foranseientpy DAB PLI OSTEE , oreos COLUMBNDY Ei.AU, E S. . C toe entalHoe ranry H otel,$ C.C.CH SE Pro prietot f ieWelr.io * d rsp tfly inform m y fraiendgp leta,iogctO mitaine to,r ol aoching ose asonistlc oc i i - oTine huse pics spplieooth aompeten 6 aiCto poite tat atentio servanth. s e lreduothe ions mae ptato'neekl an oha bordr . Ar. 2P,L16-tf WhouWantanTrnsin Orgns locatind is coheint adeintge re pyto thera Ho eTrasen BoardC$ 1 . B. LEOAI9& 0 WhlCe and Retail Dealers in Imported and Domestic Segars Of which w. always have on hand a largo and superir :tock. Imported and Domestic Wines and Liquor OF BEST QUALITIES. Always in store Pure North Caroliz CORN WIISKEY, APPLE and PEACE1 BRANDIES. J. B. LEONARD & CO. Nov. 4, 44-3m. JN0. E. WEBB & CO. COTTON BUYERS, Will always PAY THE HIGHEST MAR. KET PRICtS FOR COTTON, and also make LIBERAL ADVANCES to partie2 wishing to ship to either New York, Bos, ton or Charleston. STORIGE ! STORIGE ! STORAGE !!! Parties wishing to STORE COTTON will do well to call on MESSRS. JNO. E. WEBB & CO., who will store on the most reason able terms, also insure when desired. Sep. 23, 38-tf. F. N. PARKER, SUCCESSOR TO WEBB, 10ES & PARKER, (Between Pool's Hotel and the Post Otice. DEALER IN HARNESS, SADDLES and LEATHER 1Having bouaht the E N T I R E S T 0 C K of the 1arness and Saddle Manufactory o Messrs. Webh, Jones & Parker, I am pre pared to do all kinds of work in this line. Also wili keep on hand for sale, HARNESS, SADDLE3, &e., HARNESS LEATLHER, SOLE LEATHER, UPPER LEATIlER, &c. of the best and chcaest. REPAIRING and all work done to order At Cash Prices and at Shortesl Notice Apr. 15, 1~-tf. THE FALL SESSION OF THE NEWBERRY FEMALE ACADEMY WiL.L COMMENCE ON THE 16TH SEPT. A. P. PlIER, A. M., Princial WITh COMPETENT ASSISTANTS. The adva:.tages afforded by this institu tion tor a thorongh anid comnplete educa tion, re second to no other in the State Tuition is low, viz: from $12.50 to $2'2.5( in advance, or on satisfactory secarities. Boarding in private families at moederate rates. For further particulars enquire of the Secretary of the Board, Mr. S. P. Boozer, or of A. P. PIFER, July 29, O0-tf. Principal. AB. MORRISON, JMRIWIAT TILOR, NEWBERRY, S. C. IHavng permanently located in Newber ry, I respectfully inform the citizens of th< town, and surrounding country, that I art prepared to execute all orders which ma.r be entrusted to me in my line. My loni expeiencee as a Merchant Tailor, makes m< confident that I will give entire satisfaction and all I ask is a fair trial. Cutting in the latest style, and all work done in the neat est manner. Piace of business over Capt. J. F. Speck' -Jewelry Store. Cleaning and Repairing done prmptly Se p. 30, l39--4m. WM. C. BEE & CO. FACTORS AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS Adger's Wharf, Charleston, S. C. Liberal advances made upon consignment: of Cotton and other produce to them u Charleston, or through them to their cor respondents in Liverpool, New York an< Baltimore. Particular attention given to sale o upland C'otton. JRVY w. C. Bas, |ErGsEEP xvY T E. I). JERvY, j LAcaRss N. CursotM Oct. 2S, 4.3-4mr. OUR MONTHLY, Is a rehgious Manzine. Advocates Brotherly love amuong ChriL Ias a Local Department. Advoates Tempernne. c*inttc aund Literary Notes. Twentyfour P'ages and Cover. 5.ubscriptions recived at the Newberr; r s end W3LM P. .TACOBS, Nov IL 45-tf. Cliniton, . C. NEWBERRY MERCHANT! GET A GREAT DEAL OF TRADE FRoM LAURENS COUNTY. They will find it to their advantaget to ar vers in OUR MONTHLY, No.1L 45-tf. CLINTON. s. C. JOHN C. DIAL COLUMBIA, S. C., Has a full stock of Building Materia ICarpenters, Blacksmiths', Masons' and Tar ner Tools. All RoodIs warranted as represented. , Prices as low as the lowest for good good y Orde.rs.-with the cash, or satisfactory r fernces, promptly attended to. o. 4A M-8n. .-. podrt. AFT 1) Vj~ OE R Af.ter flhe stio-.er, Tih ranquil sun Siv i'tr hen T!:e day is done. Arter the snow, Thc ;nera'd leaves AfMer the harvest, Golden sheaves. A fter the Clouds, The violet sky; Quiet woods when The wind goes by. After the tempest, The lull of waves; After the battle, Peaceful graves. After the knell, The wedding bells; Joyful greetings F.-n sad farewelLs. After the bud, The radiant rose; Af:(r our weepiug, Sweet repose. After;he burden, The blis3ful meed After the furrow, The waking seed. After the flight, The downy nest; Over the shadowy River-rest. A arrag oI Snpeculation. --- TEANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH. -0 The French entered Amsterdam the 20th of January, 1815. The soldiers stacked their arms on the pavements, and waited anxiously for their billets for quarters, Despite the severity of the weather, the citizens turned out in large numbers to welcome and ad mire the veterans in their rags. There was a general rejoicing throughout the city, which for the most nrt was illuminated. At the extreme end of the town there was a single house, whose dark, forbid ding aspect was in strong contrast to the If-illiant appearance of the neighboring buildings. It was the residence of the rich merchant Meister Woerdon. He was com pletely absorbed in his commercial operations, and neither knew nor cared to know what was going on in the political world ; and then, he was too familiar with the rules of economy to think of squandering canales on an ilhumination. At this moment, when all was joy and enthusiasm throughout Amsterdam. Meister Woerden sat quietly in his big arm-chair beside the fire. On the table there was a little brass ]amp, a mug of beer, and a big clay pipe. On the other side of the fire sat an old maid-ser vant, whose rotundity betrayed her Flemish origin. She was occupied in shoving back the coals that had fallen out on the hearth, when there tame a ioudl knock at the street door. "Who can that be?" "Go and see," said the old merchant to the maid, who had risen to her feet. A few mo.ments later a stalwart young man entered the room. He threw off his mantle and approach ed the fire. "Good evening, father," said he. "How ? Is it you, William ? I did not expetL you back so soon." "I left B3roek this morning, but the roads have been made so bad by the army-trains that we have been the whole day on the way." "Well, did you see Van Elburg ?" "Yes," said the young man, seat ing himself before the fire ; "Meis ter van Eihurg consents to the mar riage, but he adheres to his determi nation to give his daughter a dowry of only four thousand ducats." S"Well, then, he may keep his daughter and his dowry," replied Woerden. with a frown. "But, father-"' "Not a word, my son ! At your age we have no more sense than to saciificc every thing for love, and to d<spise riches." "But Herr v-an Elburg is the rich est mcrehant in Holland, and what he does not give now will be ours at his death." "Nonse:nse " reop lieda Meister Woerden. "Am I too, not sick ? Listen, my son. You will soon fol low .ne in my business. Never for get these two rules; never give more thr.n you receive, and never further another man's interest to the dettiment af your~ own. Guided by these principles, one will better his conition in marriage as well as in trade." "But father--" " 'Not another word, my son-not another wocrd!:" William knew his father too well to say any thing more, but he could not avoid evincing his displeasure.by his manner.- To this, however, the old man paid no attention ; he calm ly-filed his pipe, lighted it, sand be man tQ moke. - Again there was a loud rap at the street-door, while at the same N time the dogs began to bark. k --Aba said Meis'er Woerden. ft "it muist be a stranger, or the dogs P wouldn't bark so. Go and see who n it i. Wiliai.- T T"he young man went to the win- P dow. ti "It is one of the militia horse men," said William. ai "Militia horseman ! What can he i want ?"bi At this moment the maid-servant I entered and handed Woerden a let ter. He carefully examined the 01 seal. "From the provisional govern- rr( ment," said he. th His hand trembled as he hastily in opened the letter and read it, but CC suddenly the old tradesman's face 'a lighted up with a joyous expres- at sion as he cried: at "Good-good! I accept." ON The letter contained an order for at four hundred thousand herrings for the army to be delivered within a ri' month. V, "William," cried the old man, "I ec have a capital thought. You would marry Van Elburg's daughter, and a have a handsome dowry with her ?" ca "Yes, father, I would; but-" qi 'Well, leave the matter to me," interrupted the old man. "But tv see that there are two horses ready di for us to-morrow morning, early." ui The next morning, at sunrise, father and son were on the high- to road from Amsterdam to Broek, hi which they reached about midday. tL They repaired immediately to the residence of Van Elburg, who, when se he saw them enter, cried out: "Ab, good-morning, M e i s t e r ti: Woerden ! Have you fled from the d Parl- Ious.? In any case, you h are welcome." tC "No I flee from nobody. You know I have nothing to do with si politics. I come to propose a good b; speculation to you" b "es'? What is it?" "I have an order from the govern ment for four hundred thousand herrings. to be delivered within a month. Can you furnish me with that number in. say three weeks ?" "At what price ?" "Ten florins a thousand." "Ten 1lorins! Yes, Iwill furnish them." "Veig well, and now to dinner:; I am half famished. At the table we h will talk of another matter." Woerden introduced the subject of th.e marriage, but Van Elburg could not be persuaded to increase i the dowry he had offered to give his daughter to the amount of a single b stiver. They nevertheless decided that the wedding should take place l that day next week. The following day, Woerden ande his son returned home. Hardlyc had they left Broek when the young man asked: "Then, father you have changed your mind ?" "How so ? "Have you not decided to accept thie dowry offered by Meister Van Elburg ?" . "Let me manage the matter in my own way, my son, and ask no questions." When the wedding-day came. Woerden and his son returned to c Broek. .Van Elburg received them kindly, but he was so flurried and nervous that William feared he hadV some bad news for them. His fa S ther, however, had no such misgiv ings; the old fox knew too well the cause of his colleague's disturbed manner. "What is the matter, Meister V an BElburg ?" he asked, with a sardonic smile. "You seem to be worried about something." "Ah, my friend, I am greatly em barrqssed. I must speak with you."~ "What is it ? Have you changed your mind with regard to the mar riage. SpeaLk frankly ; it is not too late." "No no: it is another matter en tirelv." "XVeli then, let us first proceed wit.h t he wedding-erem ony. A.fter wva:d I shall be quite at yoiu' ser The company, therefore, repaired to a neighboring church, and in a fw minutes the young p)eople were husband and wife. When they re turned to the house, Van Elburg asked Woerden to go with him in to his private room. "Miy friend," began Van Elburg, when he had carefully closed the I door. "in accordance with our agreemien t, I should within two weeks from now deliver to you four~ hundred thousand herrings. Thus far, however, I have not been able to procur'e a 'single one. There are none in the market ; they have been all bought up." "Certainly they have, I bought 4hem up myself," replied Woerden, smiing. I "But-but-how about my con tract,n aammered Yan Elburg. I "You will fiill it. Listen, friend an lburg: you will sone (ay av.e vour daughter a handsome >rtano; I shall leave my son at as muh: it is therefore unn cesarv to discuss thcir future. his, however, is not true of the :esent I shall soon give my en- I re business to my son, while you .ve your daughter only four thous id ducats. I could not oppose te wishes of the young people; it when I consented to their union, determined to compel you to do >ur duty toward them. With this >jcct in view, I contracted with II for four hundred thousand her ags, at ten forins a thousand, al ough I then had all the herrings the market. Now in order to mply with the terms of your -reement, you must buy from me, td my price is fifty forins a thous d; you have therefore, only to pay er to me the sum of sixteen thous A forins, and we shall be square." While Meister Weorden was ar ving at this mercantile deduction, m Elburg regained his wonted [uanimity. "I see, I see," said he, "you are clever tradesman. I am fairly ught, and must bide the conse tences." Their conference ended, and the ro merchants rejoined the wed ng-company, as though nothing Lusualhad occurred between them. A week later, Van Elburg went Amsterdam, ostensibly to see s daughter. Now the tables were rned. "Ah, meister," cried Woerden, on eing his colleague from Broek, am in a terrible dilemma. The ne is approaching when I must eliver the four hundred thousand arrings, and not a cask can I find I put them in !" "That does not surprise me," an vered Van Elburg, smiling; "you ugiit up all my herrings, and I u"It up all your casks." ECEIT OF SONG WRITERS. BY TIHE .FAT CONT1MU'ToR. The man who w r o t e "Home, weet Home," never had a home. \Exchange. No, of course not, all his folks at ome says he didn't. Nobody who 'r writes about anything ever had .If a man is out of anything he amediately goes and writes about .No man writes so many "head gs" as the man who is out of his ead. Certainly he didn't have any ome. The man who wrote the Did Arm Chair" never had an arm 2air in all his life. The best he had as an old split-bottom without any ack to it. The author of "Take Me Back to witzerland" never was in Switzer ~nd. The nearest he came to it as sitting in the William Tell- Sa on eating Switzer kase; kase why? aat was the best that he could 0. "Mother, I've Come Home to >ie" has not spoken to the old wo ian for years, and wouldn't go near e house. Besides he's of that lass of spiritualists who don't be eve they will ever die. His health 'as never better. His mother is othing but a mother-in lawv, and be is dead now, anyhow. There is the author of "Old Oak n Bucket," too. There wasn't a ucket on the old farm, water being lawn with a tin pail and a cistern ole. "If I Had but a Thousand a Year' tated privately to his best friends hat he would be contented with half hat sum, as he was doing chores for is board and three months school g in the winter. The author of "Champagne Char ey" never drank anything but 1.0 ent whiskey. The man who wrote "Mary Had ,Little Lamb" knew very well it sas nothing but a little iamb fry. "Shells of Ocean" is a humbug, The very plaintive poet, who repre ents himself as wandering, one umnmer eve, with sea beat through. > a pensive shore,was raised in the atrior of Pennsylvania, and never tas ten miles from horne in all his ife. "Gathered shells," did he ? ll the shells that'he ever gathered vere some egg-shells back of his aother's kitchen. "Hark I hear the Angels Sing' pent all his evenings in a beer sa jon. Angels indeed. The man who wrote the "Song >f the Shirt" hadn't a shirt to his ack, wearing a wampus for the ost part. "Oft in the Stilly Night" used to ~et on a spree and make the stilly light howl till day' light. The -author of "We Met by hance'! knew very well it 'was' ar anoed haforehand. He had beeil a weK contriving it-and she ad 11-Ared his conLivance. The author of "I know a Bank," &c.. didn't know one where he coulti get his note discounted. The only check he ever had was a white check on a faro bank. He never held a red check in all his life. "What are the Wild Waves Say ing ?" knew very well ihey were re proaching him for running away from Long Branch without paying his hotel bill. "Who will Care for Mother now?" Who, indeed. You took the old woman to the poor-house just be fore writing the song, and there is nobody but the poor-master to care for her now. "Hear me, Norma" was deaf and dumb. He couldn't make his pa hear nor ma. "My Mother, Dear" used to thrash the old woman within an inch of her life. The author of "Rain on the Roof" always slept in the basement except when he slept out of doors. "Let Me Kiss Him for His Mo ther" got mad because his mother wouldn't have him, and whipped her little boy within an inch of his life. "I Dreamed I Dwelt in Marble Halls" used to cheat at marbles when a boy, and his dream was a horrid nightmare, brought on by the remorse at the recollection of fraudulent marble hands. "I'm Saddest when I Sing" was tickled almost to death when invited to. "Happy Be Thy Dreams" sold benzine whiskey. You can fancy what kind of dreams were produ ced. SMILEY'S GUN. Recently it occurred to Mr. Smiley, of Darby, that it would be a good thing to go out to see if he could not shoot a rabbit or two. He al ways kept his gun loaded and ready, in the corner of the room, so he merely shouldered it and went out. After awhile he saw a rabbit, and taking sim he pulled the trigger. The gun failed to go off. Then he pulled the other trigger, and the cap snapped again, and then, taking a pin, he picked the nipples of the gun, primed them with a little pow der, and then started again. Pre sently he saw another rabbit, but both caps snapped again. The rabbit did not see Smiley, so he put on more caps, and then they snapped too. Then Smiley cleaned out the nipples again, primed them, and fired the gun off at a fence. Then the caps snapped again. Smiley became furious, and in his rage he expended forty-seven caps in an effort to make the gun go off.~ When the forty-seventh cap missed also, Smiley thought there might perhaps be something the matter with the inside of the gun, so lie tried the barrels with his ramrod. To his utter dismaiy he discovered that both barrels were empty. Mrs. Smiley who is nervous about fire arms, had drawn the loads without telling Smiley, for fear of making him angry. If there had been a welkin anywhere about it would would probably have been made to ring with Mr. Smiley's excited de. nunciations of Mrs. Smilev. Final ly, however, he became cooler, and and loading both barrels, he start ed again after rabbits. He saw one in a few moments, and was about to fire, when he noticed that there were no caps on his gun. He felt for one, and to his dismay found that he had snapped the last one off. Then he ground his teeth and walk. ed home. On his way there he saw at least six hundred rabbits. HE has been out hunting every day since. however, with his gun in first-rate order, and he has nevei laid eyes on a solitary rabbit. Smi ley is beginning to think something is wrong in the government of the universe. The latest new thing in Brook lyn. New York, is a Lady Washing ton Tea Party, at the Academy3 of Music. Revohitionary uniforms have been obtained from the Pnt man Phalanx and elsewhere. Ladies andi getintl will attend in the dress5 of the time3, the gentlemet in knee b)reeches, silk stockings cntaway coat and bag wig, and thE ladies in the cap, scarf. stomacher and petticoat of jye olden time." Have the corage to cut the mosi agreeable acquaintance you hav when you are convinced that hE lacks principle. A friend shioul bear with a friend's infirmities bu not with his vices. A fashionable lady went to a part~ not long since. She arrived ther4 about the first of the evening, bu the last of lier dress did not arrivi nntil after -12 o'clock. AN IN'TER VIEW WITH MARK TWAIN. Mark Twain has been interveiw ed. It took some preparation to get Mr. Twain's mind in a condi tion to be interviewed-he didn't take to it naturally though he was extremely willing. At last how ever, the interviewer got Mark's wandering attention fixed and at it they went in good earnest. Q. How old are you? A. Nineteen, in June. Q. Indeed! I would have taken you to be thirty-five or six. Where were you born? A. In Missouri. Q. When did you begin to write? A. In 1836. Q. Why, how could that be, if you are only nineteen now ? A. I don't know. It does seem curious somehe w. Q. It does indeed. Who do you consider the most remarkable man you ever saw? A. Aaron Burr. Q. But you never could have met Aaron Burr if you're only 19 years A. Now, if you know more about me than I do, what do you ask me for? Q. Well it was only a suggestion; nothing more. How did you hap pen to meet Burr? A. Well I happened to be at his funeral one day and he asked me to make less noise, and Q. But good heavens! if you were at his funeral, he must have been dead-and if he was dead, how could he care whether you made a noise or not? A. I don't know. He was al ways a particular kind of a man that way. Q. Still, I don't understand.it all. You say he spoke to you, and that he was dead? A. I didn't say he was dead! Q. But wasn't he dead. A. Well, some said he was, and some said he wasn't. Q. What did you think? A. O, it was none of my busi ness! it wasn't any of my fune ral. Q. Did you-However, we can never get this matter straight Let me ask about something else. What was the date of your birth. A. Monday, October 31, 1693. Q. What ! impossible ! T h a t would make you 180 years old. How do you account for that ? A. I don't account for it. Q. But you were only 19 rud now you make yourself out to be 180. It is an awful discrepancy. A. Why, have you noticed that ? (Shaking hands.) Many a time it has seemed to me like a discrepan cy, but somehow I couldn't make up my mind how quick you notice a thing ! This was but the beginning-be' fore that interview was over there must have been one, at least, of the race of inquirers who had his curi osity satisfied. EARLY DAYs Pn TE-zssEE.-When a lady went to Dover or Palmyra, our commercial cities in those days, and bought a calico dress, says an exchange, speaking of early days in Tennessee, it aroused and excited the whole community more than the killing of a bear caught in the cow-pen, which was a frequent oc currence. When a calico dress was purchased, the news spread like wildfire. It was narrated abroad that such a one had bought a calico dress. In those days we had our sugar camps, and made our own sugar; coffee was bought at our commercial cities, and used only on Sundays. Milk, the best and most healthy beverage in the world, was daily used, and the rose bloom ed and played upon every girl's cheek. There were no calomel doctors' bills to pay. They are worthy and useful profession of the present day. We had meeting houses in those days, made of log; and clapboards. We called it going to meeting. The elegant phras< now is to attend church, and to g< in buggies and carriages. We walk ed from three to five miles in going to meeting, playing with the girl all the way. I have seen fron fifty to one hundred ladies walking barefooted to meeting. carrying their shoes and stockings in theia hands, and on arriving, sitting dowr along the branch, washing thei beautiful feet, and putting on theia stockings and shoes, prepars :or; to going in. An exchange gets off the follow ing : 'We don't want to interfere with anybody's domestic affairs. bui if your wife asks you to read fron the sixth chapter of Hebrews often, the followving may account for it: "A old citizen of Hopkins, Mo., whc has been insane through constant reading and study of the sixth chap ter of Hebrews, recently committed 8nicide by hanging.'" TRIALS AND TRIUMPHS OF JOHN B. GOUGH. A New York correspondent of the Chicago Times writes: One of the most successful lecturers of the day is John B. Gough, who began his career as a speaker in favor of tem perance. Born in Landgate, Eng land, fifty-seven years ago, his father being a pensioned soldier who had fought under Wellington, and his mother a school-mistress, he came to this country as appren tice to an emigrating tradesman, in his thirteenth year, and took up his abode on a farm in Oneida county in this State. Soon after, he removed to New York, and went to work as a book binder. Con vivial habits grew upon him until he became a confirmed drankard. Penniless, homeless, degraded, it was his custom to resort to the low est grogeries in the Sixth ward to play the buffoon for liquor. At twen ty-two he attempted to reform, .md got married. He was doing quite well as a book-binder when he fell once more into intemperance, lost his wife and child, and sunk to the condition of a wretched outcast. A benevolent Quaker, meeting him in the streets one day, induced him to take the pledge. After that he went to a temper ance meeting, and related his expe rience with such power and effect that he became a prominent orator in the cause. Two or three years later he violated his pledge; made confession of the fact in Worcester, Mass., and has since had strength enough to be entirely abstemious. In 1853 he went to England, at the invitation of the London Tem perance League, and lectured to immense audiences. 0 f recent years he has devoted himself to the Lyceum, and has found his profit in it. He has twice as many offers he can fill, and is, probably, the most popular speaker in the country: He has lectured as many as two hun dred and fifty times during a sea son, and has cleared from $20,000 to $25,000. DRiNInG FoR THE EFFEcTS.-He said he didn't care anything about liquor, only the effects. He never liked the taste of it, always made him "gag" to drink it; and he made up an awful face as he took it down. But it was the effects he was after. If it wasn't for the effects he would never drink a drop of liquor in all his life. He was a nice young man when we first beard him say that. He had health, good looks, proper ty and a respectab!e position in so ciety. The only perceptible effects of his potations then were the height. ened color in his cheeks, increased brilliancy of the eyes and vivaci ty in conversation. He was gener. onls and liberal with his money, too' and had a "host of friends." Well. he kept on drinking for the effeets and he got them, as every man will who keeps at it long enough. The last time we saw him he was that most pitiful object a human wreck. He was standing at a bar pleading for a drink on time, his trembling fingers being unable to Thmd even a solitary nickel in the pockets of his ragged apparel. He had kept on gagging over his whiskey and drink. ing for the efe'ets until he hadn't any effects left except those painful. ly apparant ones, poverty, disease. privation and vanished respectabili ty. Verily, he got the effects. WI'SDOM OF THE EGYvrnxs.-Philol ogists. astronomers, chemists, pain ters, architects and physicians must return to Egypt to learn the origin of writing- a knowledge of the calen 1dar and solar motion-of the art os cutting granite with a copper chiseil and of giving elasticity to a coppet sword-of making glass of the va Iriegated hues of the rainbow-of Imoving single blocks of polishe: syenite nine hundred tons in weight -for any distance by land or water of building arches round and point ed, with Masonic precision unsur passed at the present day, andante cedent by two thousand years t< -the Cloaca Maximd of Rome-o sculpturing a Doric column on thiousand years before the Dorian: are known in history-of fresc< painting in imnperishable colors and of practical knowledge in ma Isonry. And it is no less clear tha 1every craftsman can behold oi -Egyptian monuments the progres -of his art four thousand years ago .whether it be a wheelwright build jug his chariot, a shoemaker draw ing his twine, a leather-cutter using -that selfsame form of knife which is considered the best form now or a weaver thr>wing the same hand shuttle. What is the best key for a Christ. ma;.box ? A tur-key. LThe vegetable that young ladies love is. to-match-oh1 RICHARD HIMSELF AGAIN. The irrepressible Defoit Free Press man writes: "It has never been definitely settled to the satis faction of the public who the Man in the Iron Mask was, but genera tions to come will know all about Dick Palmer, who got inside of something worse than a maak His mother sent him after a brass ket tle. which one of the neighbors had borrowed, and on the way home the boy turned the kettle upside down and put it on his head. An other boy struck it a blow, and it shut down over Dick's face as close as a ciam in his shell, one of the ears digging into his head behind, and the other pressing on his nose. The victim jumped and shouted and clawed at the kettle, but he couldn't budge it. A man came along and lifted at it, but Dick's nose began to come out by the roots. and the man had to stop. A crowd ran out of the corner gro cery, Dick's"mother was sent for, and the boys jumped up and down and cried 'Oh golly !" without ceas ing. One boy said they would have to take a cold chisel and drill Dick out of the kettle, and another said they'd have to melt the kettle off; while everybody tapped on it to see how solidly it was on. Then they tried to lift it off; but Dick roared 'murder' until they stopped. Soma said grease his head, some said grease the kettle, while the boy's mother sat down on the curbstone and cried out, '0 Richard, why did you this?' The crowd took it coolly; it wasnt their funeral, and a boy with a brass kettle on his head isn't to be seen every day. Tears fell from the kettle, and a hollow voice kept repeating, 'Tll never do it again.' Finally they had Richard on the walk, and, while one man sat on his legs and an other on his stomach, a third com pressed the kettle between his hands, and the boy crawled out, his nose all scratched and twisted out of shape, a hole in his head, and a bump on his forehead. His mother wildly embraced him, all the boys cried 'Hip la!' and little Richard was led home to loaf around on the lounge and have toast and fried eggs for a week." Two STRANGE HuAN BNS.-I was once sitting in a cool under ground saloon at Leipsic, while without people were ready to die from heat, when a new guest enter ed and took a seat opposite me. The sweat rolled in great drops down his face, and he was kept busy with his handkerchief.till at last he found relief in the exclamation, "Fearfully hot." I watched attentively as he called for a cool drink, for I ex pected every moment that he would fall from his chair in afit of apoplexy. The man must have noticed that I was observing him, for he turned toward me suddenly, saying, "I am a curious sort of person, am I not?" "Why ?" I asked. "Because I per spire only on the right side-" And so it was ; his right cheek and the right half of his forehead were as hot as fire, while the left side of his face bore not a trace of perspira tion. I had never seen the like, and, in my astonishment, was about to enter conversation with him regard Iing t?he physiological curiosity, when his neighbor on the left broke in with the remiark, "Then we are the opposite and counterparts of each other, for I perspire only oni the left side." This, too, was the fact. So the pair took seats oppo site to each other, and shook hands like two men who had just found each his other half. [Popular Science Monthly. If a woman's child plays truant now-a-days, she frantically tears away to the police, screaming that her darling has been kidnapped. With touching filial affection an agricultural paper remarks, "make manure of your old fodder." The Shah of Persia has given or Fders for a full corps of blonde ballet gifrls. Have the courage to acknowledge your ignorance, rather than to seek for knowledge under false pretenses. how sharper than a serpent's thanks it is to have a toothless child--SLakespeare Revised. Sorrows are the shadows of past joy. When does a man feel gir'lish ? When heC makes his maiden speech. Silver sardine boxes are now given to bridal couples. IIow to find a girl out-call Swhen she isn't in. Trails are worn to some extent.