Newspaper Page Text
A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c
Vol. X . WEDNESDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 6, 1876. No. 36.
THNE H E RAL D
EVERIY W.EM\,p-A.Y MORNING2
At Newberry, S. C.
BY THOS. F. GREMEKEIR,
E ditor and Proprietor.
Terms., $2.50* jper .fssnu
InVariably in Advance.
1:Q The paper is stopped at the expiration of
time for whic it Is Paid.
a3l The >4 n4rk denotes expiration of sub
SOftY, 0, softly the years have sweptbr
Touching thee lightly with tenderest care;
SO=rw and death they did often bring nigh
Yet theY bave leh thee bat beauty to-wear.
Qowig old gracefully,
Gt acllly fai..
Far frOm the storms that are lashing the
Nearer each day to the pleasant home light;
Far from the waves that are big with com
Under full sail and the harbor in sight.
Growifig old cheerfully,
Cheerful and brigh t.
Past all the winds that are adverse and
Past all the islands that lured thee to rest,
Past all the currents that wooed thee un
Far'from the port and the land of the blest.
Growing old peacefully,
Peaceful and blest.
Never a feeling of envy or sorrow
When the l2right faces of children are seen;
"Good!" he said kissing her. "As
a matter of form, I will make all
arrangements for our marriage,
and will be at the edge of the wood
in rear of your father's house, at
exactly eight o'clock this evening,
and will have a buggy not far off.
As a signal, I will imitate the cry
of a whip -poor-will, which I can do
with great exactness. On hearing
that, you come out at the rear door,
run across the lawn and join me.
Then, very quietly-without ever
speaking-we will hurry away to
They supposed that only the in
nocent little birds heard this very
confidential dialogue, and. there was
no fear that they would reveal the
plot. Alas ! how the lovers must
have trembled had they caught a
glimps of the angry face that
frowned upon them from behind a
great tree a few yards distant.
An hour later, old Jacob Morton
entered the village, which was only
a half mile distant, and walked into
the real estate office of Lewis Hard
ing, finding that gentleman in.
"What do you think ?" he ex
"I don't know. What has hap
pened ?" asked Harding.
"Why; they've met again-had a
confab in the wood."
"Ah! How did you find it out?"
"I was there." -
Harding turned pale.
"What! you don't mean-"
"Without their' knowledge," ex
plained Mr. Morton. "I stood be
hind a large end heAA them
will you believe it ?-planned a de
liberate elopement. Oh, the au
"An elopement! When?"
"This very evening."
"What! And did you-"
"I felt like rushing forth and
striking hini, but a better plan oc
eurred to me. Let the elopement
go on, but you be the party instead
of Jordan." (Here Mr. Morton de
tailed minutely the plan of the
lovers as he overheard it.) ~"Now,
you go to the appointed place in
the edge of the wood, and there
conceal yourself; Gd a little ahead
of time. Then he will come and
give tjhe'signal at the proper time.
It will take her about two minutes
to reach the place, because she will
move slowly in order to make no
noise. Meantime there shall be
another person in the lawn-whom
I shall bribe for the purpose-who
will step out and join him before
Clara has time to get- out of the
house; and he thinking it is my
daughter will~ hasten away .with
her. Soon after, Clara will .join
you, thinking that you.are Jordan.
Then take her to where you have a
buggy waiting, and drive to the
church, which you can to day ar
range to have open and lighted up.
She will not discover her mistake
till she is standing at the altar by
your side. I will be there, and I
believe- she will marry you without
without a word.".
"Capital! capital my dear fa
ther-in-law-for I think I may now
safely call you so. What a dear,
shrewd father-in-law it is !" said
Mr. Morton placed his index
finger, by the side of his nose and
looked very knowing after which he
bade his intended son-in-law a glo
rious good-afternoon and left.
On reaching home he asked
where Clara was.
"Out walking yet, sir," replied
the servant girl, Mary Malone.
"Well, Mary," said he, I want
you to do me a great favor, and if.
you succeed I will make you a
present of a twentyfdollar bill."
He then confided to her that he
had overheard Clara and Will Jor
dan planning an elopement, gave the
details, revealed his plan for check
mating them, and informed her of
the part he wished her to play.
"Very well, sir ; I'll do it," said
'Thank you; and you shall have
your money Lo-morrow."
Mary went about her work, mut
tering to herself:
"Twenty dollars ! oh ! I wouldn't
betray Clara for twenty hundred.
I'll tell her every word, you hard
hearted old sinner, if I lose my
Iplace by it."
Ten minutes later Clara returned,
and promptly sh~e tQld her tJs
"Oh, dear! that will deteat us for
the present," said Clara.
"No, it will only assist you," re
"I will tell you."
And Mary lowered her voice, lest
the very wall should hear, and told
what her plan was.
"Oh, Mary, you dear girl!"
Clara exclaimed, "You'll lose your
place by it, but you shall have a
Mary's plan-whatever it was
seemed to please Clara, and as the
afternoon wore away, five persons
waited anxiously for eight o'clock.
The shadows of night were gath
ering, when a male figure crept
along the edge,of the wood, and
crouched among some bushes op
posite the rear of Mr. MQrton's
"She's getting ready. She little
imagines. she is going to elope with
L. H., Esq, _Ha ! ha ! The old
buffer an I .are just six too many
for William Jordan, and Clara
Harding that is to be.
About the same time, a sly old
man quietly seated himself by a
back window of the lower floor,
"It's working nicely," he mut
tered, as a female figure glided
across the l4wn and *hid in the
shrubbery ne.r the wood. .
About this time female figure
number two, let us call her--took a
seat at a window of Clara Morton's
room, and gazed anxiously towards
the gloomy wood.
Finall, anTther~male fig
number two-appeared at the edge
of the wood, where a gate led into
the lawn, and the cry of a whip
por-will was heard upon the still
ness of the night. Instantly female
figure number one passed quietly
out through the gate, seizing the
arm of male figure number two, and
hurried away into the gloom.
"Good !" chuckled the sly old
man at the window.
"Good!'' said miale figure number
one, who lurked in the bushes.
A quarter of a minute-a half
-three-quarters-a minute - two.
"Why doesn't she come ?"
"Why doesn't she come ?" also
muttered the sly old man at the
lower window. "Oh, there she
goes, at last ! Probably forgot
something. Nervous, no doubt.
ow for the village !".
A female figure-number two
emerged from the rear door of the
building, stepped out a few paces
into the lawn, looked around ner
vously, then walked stealthily to
ward the wood.
At the gate she met male figure,
number one, who had now come
forth from his place of concealment,
and they hurried through the wood
toward a lane not far off. A buggy
was waiting there, and they got in
and drove toward the village.
They stopped at the church and
went in. The interior was lighted
up, and-a score or more of people sat
in the front pews. The.newly arrived
pair .walked straight up the aisle
and stood1 in front Qf the gitar. A
moment later the-sly old man came
in and complacently took a seat.
The lady was closely veiled, and
her male companion - who, of
course, was lir, Harding-kept his
own face somewhat averted, as if
"She may say the word that
makes her my wife before sh dis
covers that I am not Jordan," he
muttered; and he trembled a little.
The minister proceeded with his
usual solemnity, and was just ut
tering the words."If any man can
show just cause why they may not
be joined," etc., when the sly old
man started from his seat and
"Look here ! what's all this ?
That isn't my daughter !"
"What !" exclaimed Harding.
"Why you haven't got her, you
blundering donkey !" exclaimed the
plain spoken old man. " There she
And he pointed excitedly to a
pew at the right of the altar, where,
lo ! Will Jordan and Clara sat
"Why-why," stammered Hard
ing, addressing his companion,
.What does this mean ? Who are
She removed her veil, and stood
"How's this ?' demanded Mr.
Morton, no longer sly.
" Don't know," replied Mary.
"Guess we must have got mixed up.
"Then thinistake shall be cor
rected !" said Mr. Morton, angrily. i
"Clara, step right up and marry a
Mr. Harding! Do you hear ?"$
"Mr. Morton," interposed the i
minister, "that cannot be. She I
has just been married to Mr.. Jor- I
The recently sly old man had ta- C
ken a step towards Clara, as though t
he would have dragged her to the a
altar; but he soon paused, feeling t
very much like uttering a few im- ]
precations; but remembering where q
he was, he summoned his reason
and better nature to his aid, and 5
"'Sold !" repeated Harding, with
an accent of-despair.
"Sold !" echoed Mary Malone, y
"Sold !" reiterated Will Jordan i
and bride. V
"Sold !"' rang through the holy I
edifice, accWP anied by a loud and t
merry liugh; and even the minis- y
ter, before he knew it, found him
self smiling, and muttering the
word, "sold !"
Old Ja6ob Morton, though obsti
nate and self-willed, was not a vin
dictive man, and realizing that what
was done could not be undone, and C
that it could do no good to rave v
owI ~ widke&-over-toWflL
and Clara, and shook hands with c
them, saying : t
"Yes-sold! Now I'll freely for- r
give both of you, and all conderned" t
-here he glanced at Mary Malone j
-"if you will tell me how it was
"'ll tell you then,"' said Clara,.
"for I know y6u will keep your h
word. Mary'divulged to me what
you and Mr. Harding had put up .
on Will and me, and~ suggested a
plan to baffle you. Instead of go- 3
ing out'into the lawn to personate i
me an'd deceive Will, she remained' a
in my room, while I went forth and' g
personated her to deceive you. I I
therefore joined Will as soon as I r;
heard the whip-poor-will, and we v
left. Mary then came down and h
eloped with Mr. Harding." a
"Such perfidy ! I-well, I prom- e
ied to for'give all, and I'll do it !" u
"Well, I wouldn't, if I were you"!" ti
said Lewis Harding ; and pale with I
anger and disappointment he strode q
from the Church. "It's an~ out- n
rage !" -fi
"Sue him for breach of prom~ise!I" s.
were the words that fellowed him k
as he went out into the dreary h~
It was Mary Malone who spoke k
The English government is try- p
ing to introduce the American n
caotchoue tree into India, where o
india rubber is obtained, but mositly a
from a creeping plat. t. Already a
the cinchona tree has been so suc- 2
cessfelly introduced that $70,000 a
worth ~of bark was exported last p
Mr.-'Singlemnan, of Greenville, N. t]
J., forced a quid of tobacco into his tl
wie's mouth the other day and kept tl
it there until she became sick. t1
Now his wife wishes she had re- c
rpaied a single woman instead of t:
becoming g Siinglenman. a
"Mamma," asked a precocious fa
youngster at the tea-table the other t
evening, after a long and yearning
gaze toward a plate of doughnuts,
"Mamma, do you think I could y
stand another of those fried holes." i
She thought he could. I
The abdication of the Sultan gave s
three thousand American newspa
pers an opportunity to remark that
'the Sultan Abdul Aziz is the Sul
tan Abdul as was.' And yet some
persons declare that American hu
mor is dying.
Good words and good deeds are
the rent we owe for the air we
Nothing can be love to God 1
which does not shape itself into 1
WHY HE LEFT.
Some months ago Colonel Bangs
,ngaged a young fellow named
scudder as sub-editor of the Morn
ng Argus. On the. day before the
niversary of Bunker Hill, Bangs
sked Scudder if he was familiar
vith that battle, and Scudder said
te was. So Bangs told Scudder
te would like him to write up a
ittle sketch of it for the anniversary
lay, and Scudder said he would
ry. The next morning the sketch
ppeared in the paper and at
acted much attention. When
langs saw it he called Scudder in
nd said: "Mr. Scudder, didn't
-on tell me that you were familiar
7ith the battle of Bunker Hill?"
Yes sir." "Well, if that is the
ase, I will be obliged if you will tell
ie what you mean when you say:
By 4 o'clock the Confederate troops
rere read3 for" the attack. Gen.
Vashington had the catapults put
a line to await their coming; and
rhen Napoleou saw them he drew
is trusty sword and said, 'Soldiers!
wenty centuries look down upon
"No sooner were the battering
ams leveled against the wall of the
astle than the Duke of Wellington
ent word- to his mother, by Gen.
utler, that he would either win or
e brought back on his shield. Then
rdering his men to fire at the
rhite of the enemy's eyes, he waited
e--.set with all -that majestic
almness which ever distinguished
be great hero . of Buena Vista.
'his was the very crisis of the bat
e, .Joan of Are ,spying Qen,
ackson -behind the otton bales,
ashed at him upon her snow white
barger, swinging her ponderous
awe axe over her head, her fair
air streaming behind her in the
rind. As her steed rushed for
rard her hair caught in the bough
f a tree, an4, as -she hung there
ergeant Bates shot her through
ae heart with a bolt from an
equebus. Her last words were,
)on't, give up the ship !' The
ske could stand it no longer,
'he Mamelukes had slain all the
nguard-Gen. Sickles had lost
ii leg and retired on a'pension,
ad the enemy's sigirmishers, lodged
the top of the Bunker Hill Mon
ment, were pouring boiling oil on
iose who attempted to scale it.
leapiing from his horse, he shointed.
Jp, guards, anid at them !'~ and the
ext moment, with the glorious
ag of truce in one hand and his
vrd in the other, he hurled his
gions upon the lava beds, crush
ig the savage foe to the earth, and
illing, among others, the well
nown General Harrison, after
'ards the President of the United
tates.' I think we shal * e to
art, Mr. Scudder. It sees to
Le that your career as a journalist
aght to end right here. I 'wvill
cept your resignation. Xnd if
ay one asks you why you left the
.rgus, point oat this paragraph,
ad say that it was because the
roprietor was afraid he'd murder
au when he read your statement
at, at the Battle of Bunker Hill
ieConfederates lost 80,000, and
ie Carthagenians only 600 ; and
iat there is no spot in Virginia
iat the people hold more sn
red than that bloody hill where
de bones of Cromwell lie with those
f Roger Williaws.' Point to that
ugage, MIv. Scudder, and your
iends will understand the situa
A Lancaster hen has won noto
lety by laying an egg which close.
resembles a pear in its shape,
nt this is not as remarkable as if
de fowl had laid a pear closely re
embling an egg in its shape.
]Trvey discovered the circula
ion of the blood before he was
birtyfour. Yet some editors get
be over a hundred before they
an discover the exact circidationi
I their own newspapers.
Woman has many advantages
sver man-; one of them is that his
ill-has no operation till he is dead,
hereas hers generally takes effect
a hr life-time.
TIM THE FISHERMAN.
I knew a tinker once-Tinker
Tim I have called him, though it
was not his name; but that was
when days begun to turn upon the
trade, though there was still a
living to be had by walking and
working for it. Tim was the
strangest of fellows-a most en
thusiastic fisherman ; he knew every
bit of open fishing for twenty miles
round London, and a good many
that were not open, too, to some of
which he was not always unwel
come; for Tim knew many rare
secrets of the art not chronicled
by Dennys, and could impart them
judiciously when he chose; and, if
a fervent angler had such a thing
as a particularly large and wary
trout who had resisted all the al-.
lurements he was master of, he was
not now and then above consulting
the tinker, who was to be trusted,
and was no-poacher.
Sometimes Tim was mighty
quiet and self-contained. He had
little beyond the time of day andl g
good word or two for a stranger;
but for the old acquaintance and
gossip whom he knew and liked he
could be blithe as a bird and com
municative as you please.
7im was one of those free and
happy souls who haven't a spark of
envy or jealousy in their composi
tion; who. would tell a disconso
late fly-fisher which was the killing
fly, and ghow a fishless banker the
killing swim and bait, or perform
any other kiPdl7 office in his power.
He was a first-rate fisherman him
gel,--and _.ith a rod made of old
=nbrella-sticks, t dely
bis own skill, and witha few fine
orrel hairs plled out of some
stallion's tail, he often prodticd'
marvelous results. Everything,
ven his reel, w4s home-made, and,
rough as it all looked, hd had sun
Iry ingenious appliances of his own
which were by no means unworthy
f notice. Tim was a wonderful
%ad at baits. We always had baits
>f one kind or another, or knew
where to get them at short notice,
which would catch fish, and the
ld formula of worms, gentles anrd
~reaves, the ustial bait of the punt
sher, he utterly abjured and scorn
ad as a formula. He just used what
aver he -could get-grasshoppers,
aumble-bees, wasp grubs, anything
ie could easiest come by. He once,
vith a mixture of rotten cheese, fat
ustf bacon and buttercups (to give
i color), all miashed together, made
mch a take of chub as I have sel
oio seen; and once, when no
orms could be got, he made a
swinging take of barbel by baiting
with some chopped up butch~er's
raps. He was never at a loss ; if
le could not get one thing he used
mother. -His great point was his
mowledge of the state of water,
md how it affected the various
!HE MAN OF MANY MISFOR
To begin with, he was born of
oor parents-which first misfor
~une was enough. to make him wish
e had never been born-and his
~roubles commenced very soon af
er that event. At six weeks of
ge the whooping cough seized him,
md after days of pain and sorrow,
e apparently died. His mother
'laid him out," and told her neigh
ors he was dead. They all wept
>ver the pretty little corpse, when
yne of them, of a meddlesome dis
osiion, thought from his looks,
~hat there might be life in him, and
~ommenced blowing breath into his
ungs, and tossing him in her arms.
Ee came back to life again. When
de was six months old his sister
ocked him out of the cradle into
m old fashioned fire-place, and
eft him lying.under the "forestick,"
n a hot bed of coals, *while she
went out to call her moth~er, who
wvas picking up chips in the door
ard. He was so badly burned
hat all the flesh came off his arms,
Leaving the bone bare. One side
f his head was full of live coals
when he was picked up, and his
yelids were so burned that when
hey healed they grew together,
:losing the eyes. A year later the
octor severed the lids, found the
ayes all right, and. the eyesight was
good. Life, with this subject, was
eot unusually rugh again until he
was six years old, when he was
seized with rheumatic fever, and it
ended in a fever sore on his right
leg. The bone decayed and passed
away from the knee to the ankle,
and a consultation of physicians
was held on the subject of amputa
tion. It was decided that he was
too weak to stand it, and so the
limb remained upon the trunk.
Months afterward it began to heal,
and after three years of crutch gym
nastics he was well again. Hardly
had he thrown aside the crutches
when he fell from a tree, bieaking
his right arm. It began to heal
promptly, but one night he thrashed,
it ovrii he head of his bed, made a'
new break, inflammation got into it,
ulceration followed it, and after six
months lying in bed he had it am
putated at the shoulder. After
that he had the measles and ty
phoid fever, 'which caused an eigh
teen months' illness-but after all,
with only one arm, with one leg
shorter by three inches than the
other, and one ankle jointless and
stiff, this man follows chopping as
a business, and can put up a cord
and a half of wood a day.
[Berkshire Covnty (Pa.) Eagle.
HOTEL CLERK AND TAILOR.
The hotel clerk I venerate in the
abstract, but I am rather afraid to
approach him in the concrete. My
experience is that when he does
not snub you he patronizes you,
and I'd t6bout as lief be killed one
way as another. Where moral
character and that sort of thing
tells, I feel particularly at fiome;
but where a man is judged only
b y Es 'clOthes nde,-sHte
and I am backward about coming
'Can I have a room ?' I modestly
ask after registering my name.
Clerk looks at. me. a moment,
takes in the general unostentatious
ness of my apparel at a glance,
turns away and attends to the
swells who get credit of Bell in
stead of buying for cash of Porter,
chats with the young men whom
he knowvs for a few minutes, and
when everybody else is roomed and
he has settled the pen right behind
his ear, then he calls the smallest
bell-boy in the office and turns to
me with, "Show this gentleman up
to 993!' And by this time I feel
so humble about it that I bow to
the bell-boy and look round for his
bag and wonder how I'm to find
No. 993 -to show him to.
I narrate now no particular
grievance consider this as the
statemnent 'mnere1ig of a great gen
eral fact. Nor think that I blame
the hotel clerk of the period.. On
the contrary, I am convinced that
the fault lies with my tailor, to him
I shall address myself for a correc
tion -of the fault; he must sling
more style into my clothes, so to
speak, tighten up my trousers' legs
a trifte, roll the. collar of my coat
down lower, and add a foot or two
to its skirt. Otherwise I shall
have to wear a placard on my
breast stating exactly how much
these clothes do cost, for if you
suppose that my tailor doesn't
charge as much as any other one,
just try him on once !-John Paul,
in the NA7ew York Tribune.
'Py Schiminy, how dot poy stud
ies de languages!' is what a de
lighted elderly German said when
his four-year-old son called him a
blear-eyed son of a saw-horse.
The exhibition is closed on Sun
days on religious grounds. Twen
ty tihousand people hang around
the fences all day on secular
In a French translation of Skak
spere, the passage, 'Frailty, thy
name is . woman,' is translated,
'Mademoiselle Frailty is the name
of the lady.'
A- great many of our exchanges
indulge in cutting satire ; that is,
they cut it~ from other papers and
pass it off as their own.
A shirt-dealer advertises a bosom
warranted to wear longer than the
shirt. But who wants a bosom
longer than his shirt?i
Fourteen ne wspapers are sup
porting the greenba.ck ticket.
Advertisemewts inserted at the rate of $1.00
75c. for each subsequent insertion. Double
colamn advertisements tenper cent on above
Notices of meetings, obituaries aind tribult( B
of respect, same rates per square as ordinaiy
Speelal notices in local column 15 conis
Advertisements . ot marked with the wnm
b.;" of inzertions will be kept in tinl forbid
and charged accordingly.
Special contracts made with larg adver
tisers, with libera ldeftedions on above rates
J e. Ps, rx= te
Done with Neatness and Dispatch
Mde people have the most labor.
Judge not of men and things at
Mlisfortunes are the discipline of
Slander always leaves a slur.
Education makies or mars US.
-Seek till you find and you will
not lose your labor.
Envy is honor's most secret, ene
Mean men admire weath; great
men seek true glory.
Lose no opportunity of doing A4
Give your friend counsel with"
Inmdustry is never unfruithnL
Sobriety is the streniigth of :the
-Thatis well spoken. that is.*eIL
Be not a figure among- ciphers.
Want of punctuAli ty Is a 'ec-m4