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A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c.
Vol. XII. WEDNESDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 25, 1876. No. 43.
EVErYf WED-NESDAY 31ORNING,
it Newberry, S. C.
BY THOS, Ft GRKKERt
Editor and Proprietor.
Terms, $2.50 per 4nnaft.
Invariably in Advance.
5~The rper is stopped at the expiration 0,
time for whc it is paid.
2,9 The ,, mark denotes expiration of sub.
Come, listen all, while I relate
What reeently befell
Unto a farmer down in Maine,
While digging of a well.
Full many a yard be dug 9nd delved,
And still he dug in vain;
"A lack!" quoth he, "le'en water seems
Prohibited in Maine!"
And still he dug and delved away,
And still the well was dry;
The only water to be found
Was in the farmer's eye.
For by the breaking of the bank
That tumbled from the station,
All suddenlybhis 'hopes were dashed
Of future liqbidation.
And now his sands were running fast,
And he had died, no doubt,
But that juast when the earth caved in,
He happened to be out!
"Ala!-1 have a happy thought!"
Exclaimed this wicked man
To dig anew this cussed welU
I see apretty plau:
'I'll ~ ~ ~ ~ - hide me stagt an-we 0-wf
sirable. However, unless I am i
greatly mistaken your leg is per- t
fectly sound. I saw you walki
down stairs with the greatest ac- t
tivity. What can be the matter E
with your leg ?" 3
"Notbing; but it must come
"Well, A. Lefebvre," replied N
the Englishman, taking up the f
pistol, "I will not fre upon you, f
and yet I will compel you to cut I
off this leg. What you refuse to I
do to oblige me, through love of E
gain or fear of a bullet, you shall r
do through humanity." I
"How so, sir ?" e
"I intend to shatter my leg t
with this pistol, and that, too, be- 3
fore your eyes," answered the a
Englishman, who accordingly seat- I
ed himself, cocked the pistol, and
then took deliberate aim at his
Lefebvre rushed forward to pre- r
vent him, but the Englishman I
coolly exclaimed: t
"Do not come near; if you do, I 3
fire. Now coolly answer me this %
question: Do you wi-sh to pro- c
long my suffering needlessly ?" i
"Sir, you are mad," answered t
the doctor in despair ; "but have I
your own way-I am ready to do c
as you wish."
Everything was ready for the (
operation. As soon as the doctor
took up his instruments, the Eng- 4
lishman lighted his cigar, and J
declared be would smoke until f
the operation was concluded. He
kept his word. The lifeless leg
rested upon the floor, but the t
Englishman still smoked on. The C
operation had been performed in
a most masterly manner, and, e
thanks to Dr. Lefebvre's skill and
attention, the patient soon became c
perfectly recovered, although, of
course, he had to be supplied with a
a wooden leg. He rewarded the I
surgeon, whom he had learned t
to esteem more and more every N
day, thanked him with tears in
his eyes for the great obligation a
under which he had laid him, and
in a short time started for Eng- 3
About two months after his pa
tient's departure the surgeon re
ceived the following letter from
Enclosed you will receive a
token of my boundless gratitude
a bill of exchange on my banker
in Paris for 6,500 francs. You
have rendered me th-e happiest of
men by ridding me of a limb
which was an obstacle in the way
of my happiness. Learn then
the reason of what~ you termed
my madness. Yoni assured me
that there could be no justifiable
motive for so singular a mutilation.
I offered you a wager, and I think
you were right in refusing it. Af
Iter my second return from the
East Indies, I became acquainted
with Susan Black, the most ac
complished and fascinaling of wo- 1
men. I sought her hand in rear
riage. Her fortune and family
were such as met with the entire
approbation of my parents. As
for me, I thought only of her I
charms. I was happy enough to
gain her affections-a fact which I
she did not attempt to deny ; but
she at the same time firmly re
fused to become my wife. In<
vain did I beseech her to do so;
ir vain did her relations all second
my desire. She was inflexible.
For a long time I could not dis
cover the reason of her opposition
to a marriage which she herself
confessed would make her happy,
until at last one of her sisters re-1
vealed the fatal secret to me.
Susan was a marv'el of beauty, but
she was so unfortunate as to have
]ost a leg.. and she had conse
quently condemned herself to eter
nal celibacy. My resolution was
quickly for'med, and I determined
to be like her. Thanks to you,
my dear Lefebvre, my wishes
were soon accomplished. 1 re
Sturned w'ith my wooden leg to
London. I hastened to gain in
formation of Miss Black. Thbe re
port had been spread, and I my
self~ had taken care to write to
my friends in England to the
Isame effect, that I had had the mis
sfortune to fracture my leg, and
Vthat amputation had been found
rabsolutely necessary. Every one
I eprsse te ritst concern at.
ny misfortune. Susan fainted on
,be first occasion of my present
ng myself. She was for a long
ime inconsolable, but at length
he consented to become my wife.
t was only on the morning after
>ur marriage that I confessed to
ier the sacrifice by means of
vhich I bad at length been en
bled to gain her consent to be
nine. The avowal increased her
ove. Oh ! my excellent friend,
kad I ten legs to lose I would
rive them all up for the sake of
ny beloved Susan. So long as I
ive rely on my gratitude. If
ver you visit England do not fail
o come here, so that I may make
ou acquainted with my wife ;
,nd then tell me whether or not
was out of my senses.
In the year 1793, during the
eign of terror, the surgeon of
3oulogne, having been accused of
ieing an aristocrat by one of his
-ounger professional brethren,
vho envied him his practice, was
>bliged to take refuge in London
n order to save his .neck from
he guillotine. Being without em
loyment or acquaintances, he in
[ired for the residence of his for
ner patient, Mr. Oxley. He was
irected to-it ; and on arriving at
he house he senD up-his name,
nd was immediately admitted.
n a huge arm-chair, seated be
bre the fire, with a bottle of
vine beside him, sat a portly per
onage, whose size was so great
hat it was with difficulty he
ould rise to welcome his visitor.
Welcome, Monsieur Lefebvre,"
xclaimed the huge Englishman.
Do not be offended at my re
eiving you in this manner, but
ay cursed wooden leg won't
.low me to do anything. You
iave come, no doubt, my friend,
o see if, in the long run, you
ere not right."
"I am a fugitive seeking an
sylum among you."
"You shall stay with me ; for
ou are really a wise man. You
vi console me. Do you know,
fly dear Lefebvre, that had it not
een for this abominable wooden
eg rendering me useless I should
av been admiral of the Blue.
:spend my life in reading the
iewspapers and in curses that I
am tied here when everybody else
s up and doing. Remain here ;
ou shall comfort me."
"Your charming wife can doubt
ess do that better than I can."
"Oh,as for that, no. 11er wooden
eg prevents her from gadding
bout and dancing ; so she has, as
L resource, given herself up to
ards and scandal. Thcre is no
yossibility of living alone with
er; in other respects she is a
ood enough woman. I wits an
inutterable fool. If I had my leg
>ack again I would not part with
e paring of a single nail. Be
ween ourselves I must have been
~razy ; but keep tbat to yourself.''
That Norwich man who courted
iis wife fifty years before he mar
ied her was a prudent fellow. Fif
y years takes the strength out of
nost any arm, and makes it incon
ienient for a woman to get down
>n her knees to urge the head of
;he house to come out from under
;he bed and talk the matter over.
The great skeptic aust be a
~reat believer. Faith is large in
~roportion as it dares to put things
o the proof. Fear and laziness
an accept behalf. Only trust and
~ourage will question them.
The plants look up to heaven,
~rom whence they reeive their
The great object of life is to
ive it properly.
Best men are often modeled out
Men of cold passions have quick
Dissipation is never worth what
TIgenone is the parent of fear.
DON'T BELONG TO OUR
The old Knickerbocker magazine,
under the editorship of Louis Gay
lord Clark, was famous twenty or
thirty years ago for its out-of
the-way anecdotes. Among them
was one concerning a paty which
existed in one of the Southern
States about the time of the first
election of Gen. Washington to the
presidency, called the "John Jones'
The said John Jones, after whom
the party took its name, was a man
of talent, a plotting, shrewd fellow,
with a good deal of a kind of
yankee cunning ;" in short, posess
ing all the requisites of a success
ful politician, except personal popu
arity. To overcome this latter de
ficiency, of which he was well aware,
especially in a ccntest with a popu
lar candidate for congress, John
Jones early avowed himself as the
peculiar and devoted friend of Gen.
Washington, and on this safe
grounid, as he thought, he endeav
ored to place his rival in opposi
tion. In order to carry out this
object more effectually, he called a
meeting in his county, of "all those
friendly to the election of Gen.
On the day appointed Mr. John
Jones appeared and was, on the
cut-and-dried motion of a friendly
adherent, made chairman of the
meeting. He opened the proceed
ings by a high and carefully studied
eulogium upon the life and service
o: Washington, but taking care
only to speak of himself as his early
patron and most devoted friend.
He concluded his remarks by a pro
position to form a party, to be call
ed "The True and Only Sons of the
Father of his Country," and for
that object he submitted to the
eeting a resolution something
like the following :
"R.esolved,That we are the friends
of Gen. George Washington, and
will sustain him in the coming elec
tion against all competitors."
"Gentlemen," said Mr. Jones, af
er reading the resolution, "the
cair is now about to put the ques
tion. The chairman hopes that
every man will declare his senti
ment either for or against the reso
lution. All those in favor of the
resolution will please to say "Ay."
A thundering "Ay !" shook the
very walls of the building. The
united voices were like the "sound
of many waters."
"Now, gentlemen, for the opposi
tion," said John Jones. "All those
who are contrary-minded will please
to say "No."
Not a solitary voice was heard.
The dead silence seemed to confuse
Mr. Jones very much. After some
hesitation and fidgeting he said:
"Gentlemen, do vote. The chanir
cannot decide a disputed question
when nobody votes for the ot4her
side. We want a direct vote, so
that the country may know who are
the real true friends of Gen. Wash
Upon this appeal one of the au
dience arose and said:
"I perceive the unpleasant dilem
ma in which the chair is placed,
and in order to relieve the presid
ing officer from his quandary I now
propose to amend the resolution by
adding, after the name of Gen.
Washington-and John Jones for
"The amendment is in order-I
accept the amendment," said the
chairman, speaking very quickly ;
"and the chair will now put the
question as amended:
"All those who are in favor of
Gen-Washington for president and
John Jones for congress will please
"Ay-ay !" said John Jones and
his brother, with loud voices, which
they had supposed would be drown
ed in the unanimous thunder of the
The "chair" squirmed and hesi
tated. "Put the contrary !" said a
hundred voices at the same mo
"All those op-po-po-sed," said
the chair, "will please say No !'
"No-o-o !" thundered every
voice but two in the whole assem
bly, n i thoe were Jones' and his
brother's. Then followed a roar of
laughter, as Carlyle says, "like the
neighirg of all Tattersall's."
"Gentlemen," said Mr. Jones,
the chair perceives that there are
people in this meeting who don't
belong to our party ; they have
evidently come here to agitate and
make mischief. I therefore do now
adjourn this meeting !"
U. S. if.
POSTAL REGULATIONS-A FEW SUGGES
TIONS BY THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR.
If there is anything more absurd
than some of the rulings and in
structions of the Post Office Depart
ment we should like to see it. For
instance, the following:
"Mail matter deposited in a post
office for mailing, on which at least
one full rate of postage has been
paid, should be forwarded to its
destination charged with the un
paid rate to be collected on delive
ry. The unpaid rate is double the
prepaid rate which should have
been paid at the mailing office."
That is to say, if A writes B a
letter so bulky that the postage is
six cents, and only affixes one three
cent stamp, B has to pay six cents
on delivery of the letter. In this
way B is punished for the ign.r. -e
or neglect of his correspondent.
We have a few improved rulings
to submit to the department:
Monthly magazines, published
weekly, must be charged letter post
age when delivered daily.
Powder magazines, except to reg
ular subscribers, are not permitted
to frank their reports.
If no stamp is affixed to a letter,
retain it. If, however, the postage
is overpaid, letter rip !
If you feel any doubt about a pa
pe. going with a one-cent stamp,
have two sent.
Seeds can go through the mail
as merchandise. Postmasters are
cautioned against allowing any old
seeds to go through their mails,
Signs cannot be sent without
paying letter postage, three cents
on every letter.
Calico prints, any foreign prince,
reprinLs and footprints, all go as
printed matter, and pay taxes ac
cordingly. Vaccine matter must be
properly (pock) marked.
Poetry in its various stages, in
cluding the Edgar A. Poe stage,
must be sent postage paid, whether
it ever paid to read or not.
A postmaster is not permitted to
make any material change i:n the
site of his post-ofies without affx
ing a two-cent stamp for every two
ounces. He can charge double
postage for a sight of the postmias
Shirts mnay be mailed at the rate
of two cents for every two ounces
of shirt. If the owner's name is on
the shirt, letter postage must be
charged. This rule is indelible.
A subscr-iber residing in a coun
ty in which 'a paper is printed, can
take the paper, provided he pays in
advance, and urges his neighbors
to subscribe. If he does not live
in the county in which he resides,
and the paper is not printed in the
same county in which it has its
press-work done, then the county
must pay double postage on the
man-we mean a two cent county
must be affxed to every postage
stamp-that is to say, every two
ounces of a man-we mean the pa
per county-the man-well, we
must leave this ruling to the discre
tion'of the postmaster.
'Here's a boy down here that
wants to lick me!l' exclaimed a boot
black as he approached a policeman
on the street.
'He does, eh ? What for ?'
'Says I called him names, but I
'And are you afraid of him ?'
'No, not exactly; but I didn't want
to fight. One reason is I promised
my dying mother I wouldn't, and
the other reason is because he's big
ger'n I am.'
Different minds incline to dif
ferent objects; one pursues the
vast *alone, the wonderful, the
wild ; another sighs for harmony
and grace and gentlest beauty.
He who fears death is not a be
liever in God.
WHY HE WAS ANXIOUS.
Mr. Robinson went out to the
cemetery the day after the inter
ment of his wife and had an inter
view with the superintendent.
"What are your regulations in
regard to monuments in this cem
etery ?" asked Mr. Robinson.
"Well, we hardly have any special
rules. We let people do pretty
much as they please."
"You wouldn't make a fuss," said
Mr. Robinson, ."if a man should
put something original and novel
over a grave, now would you ?
Something calculated to attract at
"No-n-no, I guess not. What
have you in view ?"
"Well, you see, Harriet was an
uncommon patriotic woman; made
socks for the soldiers during the
war, and was all the time knitting
fiddle-faddle things for sanitary
fairs and I thought maybe I'd get
her up some kind of a red, white
and blue monument, with a brass
eagle on top, and the American
flag flying from a pole. Perhaps I
might put 'Hail Columbia' in gilt
letters on the stone on one side,
and a picture of General Washing
ton holding the Declaration of In
dependence in his hand on the
other. How does that strike you ?"
"It would be unique, anyhow."
"But what I wanted to see you
about particularly was to know
about the 'size. Now, would you
allow me to make the monument
about fifty feet high of some solid
kind of stuff that'd spread over the
ground a little piece ?"
"Oh, yes! I s'pose so. It will be
"Oh, I don't mind the cost.
What I want is to get weight in
the material so's it'll set heavy
on the ground and stay there."
"You must have thought a great
deal of Mrs. Robinson to expend so
much money on her.'
"Well, betwixt you and me that
isn't exactly it. She was one of
those restless, oneasy women that
never'd stay quiet when you wanted
he'to, and it occurred to me that
maybe something might happen to
resuscitate her, and to tell you the
honest truth my idea was to run
up some kind of a monument that'd
hold her down permanent-keep
her there, you understand. I don't
want her bustling about, now that
she's stowed away as dead."
"You are probably not aware
that we have introduced an alarm
here which connects the vaults
with the office, so that if a person
returns to life out of a trance we
can at once go to the rescue. 'Mrs.
Robinson, you know, is in a vault
"You don't mean to say," ex
claimed Robinson, "that she's got
one of the alarms anywhere near
"Certainly she has."
"See here, now, I want to say
something to you in private. The
honest fact is, I'm about to marry
Widder Jones, and if I can make
any little arrangement with you to
snip off that wire for a few days
until Mrs. Robinson is thoroughly
dead, it'll be moneyin'your pocket."
"Can't do it, sir."
"Because you see for yourself
how thundering embarrassing it's
going to be if the old lady should
come to and begin to stir around
just after me and Mrs. Jones were
comfortably married. Now wouldn't
it? Look at it in a common sense
light. So if you could muffle up
that machine somehow, or give me
some kind of a written guarantee
that she won't resurrect, it'll be
regarded as a personal favor. Do
they ever come to ?"
"One old: lady revived last week,
after she had been in the vault
"My gracious, man, you take my
breath away ! Why, it's awful!
Upon the whole, I believe I'll run
Mrs. Robinson out and bury her in
the burying ground. I'll send over
a man for her this afternoon, and
put her in a hole forty feet deep.
I never did like these cemeteries
anyway, with~ their new fangled no
tions. So you be ready to ship her
off when that.fellow comes with the
-Mrs. Robinson is now entombed
securely, and Mrs. Jones and Rob
insn are one.
A LADY ON LADIES.
Women have their own place
both in nature and society ; a place
beautiful, important, ennobling,and
delightful, if they would but think
so, if they would but care to make
it so. But with the curse of dis
content resting on them from the
beginning, they prefer to spoil the
work of men rather than to try and
perfect their own. Say, of their
own special work, what is perfected
to such a high degree of excellence
as warrants their leaving it to take
care of itself while they go to man
ipulate something else? The ser
vant question in all its branches
annoys and harasses every one;
but this, essentially a woman's
question, a circumstance of that
part of life which is organized, ad
ministered, and for the larger pro
portion fulfilled by women, is con
fessedly in a state of chaos and dis
order, paralleled by none other of
our social arrangements. The ex
travagance of living, of dress, of
appointments, which is one part
of the servant disorder-because
maids, being women, will trick
themselves out in finery 'to attract
as much admiration Ps their mis
tresses; and men, being animals,
will gorge where their masters feast
-whence do these come save from
women, rulers of society, regulators
of modes and fashions as they are ?
Do the husbands order the dinners,
or decide on the length of the
train, and the fashion of the dress?
If ladies chose that the rule of life
should be one of noble simplicity,
beautiful, artistic, full of meaning
and delight, the false ornament and
meretricious excess with which we
are over-weighted now would fe.ll
from us, and the servant question
among others would get itself put
straight. It is a matter of fashion,
not necessity, and the mot d' ordre
comes from above. But where is
the spirit of organization, the reso
lution to meet difficulties, the cour
age of self-control, through which
alone great movements are made
and great reforms led ? The women
who want to influenice the councils
of the empire, to have a voice in
the making of laws which are to
touch and reconcile contending in
terests, to help in the elucidation
of difficult points, the administra
tion of doubtful cases, see the per
vants standing in a disorganized
mob at the gates of the social tem
ple, and are unable to suggest any
thing whereby they may be reduced
to order and content- But, at the
same time, the women who com.*
plain of their own stunted lives,
and who demand leave to share the
lives and privileges of men, deny
the light of their maids to live up
to a higher standard, so far as they
themnselves are concerned, and hold
the faith that service should mean
practically ser.vitude-Mrs. Lynn
.Linton in the Beigravia Magazine.
No OccUPATro-A GRAvE MIS
TAKE.-We recently read a sad lee
ter from an ambitious young man.
He had been unfortunate, in some
respects ; but life lay before him,
and he was ambitious ; he experi
enced, however, a double misfor
tune, in this world in which there
is so much to do, from not know
ing how to do anything. " My fa
ther," he wrote, "did not thiuk it
worth while for me to learn any
trade or business." He had been
thrown on his own resources, and
although now a man in stature and
years, he was a mere infant in his
capacity to earn a living.
How awkward ! What a misfor
tune! Yet such cases frequently
come under our observation ; and
they lead us to look upon the cul
pability as very great of any parent
who brings up a son without hav
ing him practically and thoroughly
instructed in some way of earning
an honest living.
Every man should have some
profession or trade ; should know
how to do something, then, wheth
er he steadfastly pursues it or not,
he at least has an occupation to
which, in an emergency, he may
resort for the,support of himself
and others who may be dependent
A practicalknownothing is greatly
to be pitied in this practical world.
Advertisements inserted at the rate of $1.00
wcr square-one inch-for first insertion, and
75c. I-or each subsequent insertion.* Double -
,;olumn advertisements tenper cent on aboi e
No tices of meetings, obituaries and tribu! ss
of respect, same rates per square as ordirmsy
Special noticcq in local column 15 cents
Ad'verti,:rmen tc not marked with the nuin
ber of i n,,.' ?"' ;ep~ in till forbid
and charge d accordirgiy.
Sp~c :~I ..*'. * (' i~ ~ ':.ge adiver
!iscrs' W'i!' :L'.-'UvJC rates
Done will - Neatnest. uiid Dispatch
.X LIGHTNING BOLT Wi]T.
ING GOD'S NAME ON A
Some of our contemporaries seem
ditsposed to question the truth of
our'Z statement that a negro man
who was killed by lightning a few
day7s ago in Campbell. county had
the letters "GOD " on his body.
Dr. Thomas E. Moorman, whose
Post Office address is Mt. Zion,
Campbell county, has furnished the
Richmond 0_hristian *Adv~ocate an
3,ccount of the circumstances, from
which we extract the following:'
" On the evening of the 6th inst
Perry Jones and George Brown,
,-olorezd men, notoriously the most
profane, wicked persons in the
whole community, with three other.
30olored persons, took refuge, du
ring the rain, accompanied by a
rrood deal of lightning and thun
der, in a tobacco barn on the land
of Mr. George Creasey.
" Froim their several positions
oIne- Would hav1thug t& hattw