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The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, October 05, 1882, Image 1

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T14E HERALD
6iLY THURSDAY XOR3NING, ox
it Newberry, S. C.ade".sIent.VI
dY THOS.,;GENKR
Editor and Proprietor.
efass.per en
IU&il, in Ae A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &
Invariably in Advance. -__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _J B P L 1 'A
The paper Is stopped at the expiration of
;as 7r which It is paid.ss iSerTC e
,? TheM markdenotes expiration of sub A.A VOI TTYV S.Wt~P C. TH URSDP TAY OCTOTEMSCBH
AFTER.
After the shower, the tranquil sun;
After the snow, the emera!: leaves;
Silver stars, when the day is done;
After the harvest, golden sheaves.
After the clouds, the violet sky;
Afar the storm, the lull of waves;
-Quiet woods, when the winds go by;
After fhe battle, peaceful graves.
After the knell; the wedding bells;
After the bud, the radiant rose;
Joyful greetings from sad farewells;
After our weeping, sweet repose.
After the burden, the blissfai meed;
After the fight, the downy nest;
After the furrow, the waking seed;
After the shadowy river, rest.
-George Cooper.
..s..
The following is considered as Mr. Long
fellow's finest sonnet: t
"As a fond mother, when the day is o'er. i
Leads by the hand her little child to bed,
Half willing, half reluctant tabe led,
And leaves his broken playthings on the
floor. t
Still gazing at them through the open.door,
Nor wholly reassured and comforted.
By promises of others in their stead,
Which, thongb more splendid, may not
please him more;
So Nature deals with us, and takes away C
Our playthings one by one, and by the o
hand
Leads sto rest so gentlr that we go
Scarce knowing If we wish to go or stay, ~
Being too full of sleep to understand
How far the unknown tryscends the what
we know."
MAN'S PEDIGREE. o
THE GEORGIA PHILOSOPHER DISCOURSES
OF THE FAXILY TEEE.
A Satire on the Follies and Pompous Claims t
of Would-be Great People.
Cultivator and Dixie Farmer. r
"Honor and shame from no condition rise,
Act well your part-there all the honor lies."
Pride of ancestry is a good thing.
A young man has a right to be
proud of a noble father, but the
danger is h,, generaliy leans on
him too strong and don't do any
thing for himself. It is very sel
dom indeed that a great man has
,
a great son ; old John Adams did
a
and so did John Quincy Adams,
but Henry Clay didn't, nor Cal
honu, nor Webster, -nor Tom Jef
ferson, nor Patrick Henry, nor
any of our notables. I wonder
why it is ? Thoroughbred horses
keep on getting better and better
and iaster and faster, and they
bold up 'their heads and look
proud, and step with a disdainful C
spring like the ground wasn't
good enough for 'em, but the son
of a great man ain't much so
count and just lays around andC
talks about pap. I alway> feel
sorry for afoung man who has to
bank on bis daddy's tame. He
gets attention and is considered
bon ton and all that, but every body
talks pitiful about .him.iind says,
* well, he is acelever boy but he will
never inake the man his father is.'
There is too much contrast to be
comfortable. A great man's son
is in a delicate position, but he
can get along very well if he ain't
biggoty.
Great men's children are very
much lhke rich men's children
(
there is nothing for 'em to do
*nothing behind 'em to spur 'em
up, no motive, no ambition, no
fear of want. But of all the fools
in- the world, c .liver me from
these 'stuck ups who claim to be
blooded stock, desce'ndants of the
F. F. n's, or the F. F's of'any
other State, and who put on air
-of condescension when they mix
with common people. They are
not the sort to rely on when war
or trouble comes. They witl run
from danger on the first alarm.
Pedigree is a good thing among
horses, but a man bad better not
investigate his own ancestors
with too much confidence. He
wji run up against a scrub on one
side or the other. I've got noth
King agin scrubs, same of the best
people I know are mighty com
mon stock, but they are hontest,
true .and humble. The war tried
~men, and the scrubs held on and
held out as good as anybody. The
~scrubs are not always hunting
-round for office and an easy way
-to live without work. These
obronic office hunters talk mighty.
sweet and get around lively when
hheyr are lectioneering, but they
are not the best people in a com
munity. One time the King took
journey with all his attendanti
ad a boy, xho was sitting o
,he fence, told him.be had bette
top awhile and get under tb
vagon shed, for it was going t
-ain like blazes before he eon!
;et to the next house. The kin
lident believe him at.d went or
ind shore enough a thunde
torai came up in a hurry and i
-ained tremendious, and tbt kin
Rent back to fidd out how '.h
oy knew it was comin'. -Why
aid he, Cdaddy's old jack was
rayin', and he always bray s jn
efore a rain.' So the king bough
he jack and took him to his roy
I stables and set him up as
ceather prophet, and bad hi
ed high, and groomed, and mad
nuch of him, and now, they say
hat ever since then every jackas
u the country wants an ofcf
esso !
it ain't one man in a thousau
hat knows his own pedigree fo
bree generations back, for he ha
,ot grand-parents, and eigh
reat-grand parents, and sixteei
,reat-great.grand-parents, and &
n doabling everytime and som
f 'em were mean stock, and th,
ueanness. will crop out away dowi
he line in spite of prayers an
reachin'and abundance of punish
oent. Seraibs come from great mei
.d great men come from scrube
nd there's nothing for a man t<
e proud of but his own good con
nct. Let every tub stand on it;
wn bottonm. There are two pit
ful sights in human nature. on
3 a proud old aristocratic family
roken down in parse and posi
ion, and the other is to see tbi
hildren of a scrub who has go
ich, putting on aristocratic aire
ad strutting around like thej
rere better than any body. Th
rst set back too much on breed
g and the last too much of
2oney. Tom Perry was the bes
pecimen of a scrub I ever saw
70m was bound out when a boy
ad worked barefooted all th<
inter, and he was pigeon-toed
nd tongue-tied, and busby haired
nd pop eyed, but he had a bit
eart in him, and a powerful will
nd be never got tired of work
.om Perry was always doinl
omething for somebody. H
ras the best friend the widov
nd orphan had in the communi
y. *He was .thbe most uniselfis]
itizen of the town, sand doni
lore for it than anybody accord
ig to his means and his capacity
)ld Dr. Benkman said to me on<
ay, 'mine friend, let every mai
vork op to his capacity in dis if,
nd he will be a prince in heaven.
VeIl, TIom Perry did that. H
adt but little learning and les
anners, but be made the ver:
est use of his limited capital, fo
e lived to do good and be died
smented. Rome never had
etter friend nor a more usefu
itizen. Dick Wilson was a scroab
)ick aeed to haul wood to Gaines
ille and wore one gallus and ni
hoes, and tbe end of his sbir
ung out, but b.e worked bard t1
upport his poor old parents, an
ne day Cincinnatus Peeple
icked him up and sent him ti
ebool and hired a boy to work i
is place, and Dick rose forwar<
nd upward, and now he owin
wo or three railroads and lives il
few York like a prince, but h
ever was ashamed of his raisina
nd took good care of his parent'
nd helped out his poor kin, an<
hat's the kind of a scrub I like
nd they are the best b'ope of tb
ountry. Bat I know scrubs wh
ave got rich, and are spoilin
eir children, andl setting 'em u
Ls far above the linec as they then
elves used to be below it. The
ide to church in a fine carriagt
nd rent the finest pew, and liv
ni a palace, and go to the spring
~very summer for .their delicat
iealth. Their fathers used
low all summer barefootedi
ocky fields over tread-safts an
lewberry vines, and scratch th
icks and red-bugs all nigh t, an
;et on a puncheon slab in a Io
:urch on Sunday, and be ain
got used to riding in a pbaton ye
for he don't know whether 1
Lean forwards or back wards, an
when the phaton crosses a risei
he road he don't rise with iti
racefdl undulations but bumi
hmslf awkrndly and thinl
i, everybody is looking at bim. And c
a so the world wags along up and c
r down. Here she goes and there r
e she goes, but there is no security d
for anybody except in good con- f
d duct. 'Act well yonr part-tbere s
all the honor lies.' t
BILL ARP. b
-- - -+. :+ -- r
t THAT "IIOO-FLY" UNIVER- s
SITY. L
e'
Gov. Roberts is going to have a
university. Professors have been
seCured with difficulty, and the L
t.
Sbuildings, like the Greenhackers,
are going up as rapidly as luck o,f
money and otber adverse eircuni
tauces will permit. Texas has not:
yet acquired a system of common
schools, but she is going to have a
university or explode. 'Explode'
is more classical and sounds much
more genteel than 'bust,' but it
conveys the same idea. The idea
of Gov. Roberts having a univer
r sity before the boys and giris
know how to read and write, re
t
" mir.ds one of the osterta~iou; lit.t
tie boy who implored bis father
to supply hirn with a finger ring.
The poor boy's garments were al
most as well ventilated as the star
route swindle, an,' his person was.
improperly exposed in several a
p!aces, but that did not embarrass
him in the least. Little be cared
for the jeers of the populace, as
long as he could feast his eyes 3
and gladden his heart on the be v
wildering splendor ofa finger ring t
procured from a 'sboo.fiy' box of
candy. He said be could manage t
to get through the winter without
much suffering, if he could only
be allowed a ring. Possibly he
would have been more tban will i
ing to have braved the rude au- h
tumrnal blasts with one solitary n
abbreviated garment, if he were
permitted to warm himself with
two 'shoo.fly' rings 'or a brass
watch chain. a
Thanks to the present adminis- h
tration, the university fund has
been reduced to its lowest denom f,
inator and numerator, so to speak, ie
to a mere pittance, with which it is r
proposed to erect a building, and p
when it is finished, and provided &
with a home-made faculty to
match, it will boar just abont as C
much resemblance to. a bona fide u
temple of learning as a 'shoo-fly' p
1ring does to a $5.000 solitaire. It
does not affect th~e Governor in d
the least that Texas is to be the c
laughing stock of the whole coun- a
try, on account of the defective o
Scondition of her educational reo
quirements, as long as he, can
show off with that 'shoo fly' uni
versity. h
The usual plan for educating
-the people in civilized countries.
is to have efficient common schools
fo4r the masses. in these schools,e
the children are taught the radi.
u
meats, and in a few years they
are able to read, write and cypter. ~
It is by these common echools
that the whole mass of' the peo
t pIe is leavened with intelligence. C
The girls grow up to be intelli- c
g'ent wives and mothers, while
the boys have a chance at least of
holding their own in this age of
fierce competit,ion. They are not
so apt to be driven to a life of
servitude and crime as they must
be when they are raised without
a very well defined idea of' what
the alphabet really is. I
a
Besides free schools,n here should
be bigber schools, where those
pupils who so desire can acquire
the higher branches and thbe at'
complishments, and finally a real
institutioni of learning, where the
young men who desire to follow
the learned professions carn obtain i
a classical education. Instead of K
this common sense gradation or ,
'studies, we are to hase a sort ort
sschools at all. We suppose a lt
tIe b'oy il be place~d at the iini
o-ver,.il '. amru a ftt-r tw bus ::rad.uaite1i
d w t ihhnr,then, pierhaps,
the State will establish free
e schools, at which be can learn the!r
alphabet. This is not common!i
sense, but it is evidently Gov.
Roberts' idea of a system of edu- 1
cation. The only objection to
Gov. Roberts as an educator, is
that he does not try his plan on
some other State.i
isTo be consistent, the same plan
as shonld r.e adopted in erar-ting the I
niversity building. The first part
fthe building that is built should
of be the foundation, but the
ome, and instead of building
rom the ground up, the builders
bould build from the top down to
be ground. How the dome is to
e held up in the air, while the
est of the edifice is being con
tructed below it, conirary to the
iws of gravitation, is more than
re can understand, but Gov.
-berts will he equal to the emer
ency. Why don't they build
btw. dod-gasted university, as
poopcdyke would say, with the
innacle sticking in the ground,
nd have ths founcdatnn on nmong
be clouds? If they reverse the
ystem of education, why not turn
be dod-gasted university build.
)g upside down, too, and have a
ian go up on a ladder and lay
be corner stone when the measly
Id building is finished ?
All Gov. Roberts needs to make
eople say, from clean across the
treet. 'Howdy, Solomon.' is a
bousand wives and fifteen cents
rorth of brains from a butcher
hop. All in the world he needs
a be a university himself, is to
ave a fence around him and a
bir ty foot telescope sticking out
f hit skylight window.
[Texas Siftings.
THE SUN CHOLERA MEDIINE.
k.re than twenty years ago,
iler it was found that proven
o11 of cholera was easier than
are, a prescription drawn up by
minent. doctors was published in
'he Sun, and it took the name of
"he Sun cholera medicine.
Our contemporary never lent
.s name to a better article. We
are seen it in constant use for'
early two score years, and found
to be tne best remedy for loose
ess of the bowels evnr yet devised.
No one who bs this by him,
nd takes it in time, will ever
ave the cholera.
We commend it to all our
-iends. Even when no cholera
anticipated, it is an excellent
-medy for ordinary summer com
laints, colic, diarrhea, dysentery,
c.
Take equal paris of tincture of
ayennee pepper, tincture of opi
m, tincture of rh rbarh, essen.ce of
eppermint, and spir'itc of cam
hor. Mix well. Dose, 15 to 30
rops in a little cold water, ac
ording to age anid vi,,' co of
ymptoms, repeated every fifteen
r t wenty minutes until relief is
btained.-Journal of Commerce.
If' the Columbus (Ga.) Tines
as gathered reliable statistics
ben the South drinks a vast deal
iss than is drank at the North.
t gives the number of saloons to
very so many inhabitants. Let
s glance at a few of the items.
[evada has one whisky shop to
i-ery 65 inhabitants ; Colorado 1
>i 76; California 99 ; Oregon 170;
rew Jersey 179; .New York 192;
ii 225; Con ne'cticut 235; Massa
hiusetts 245. This will do for
ao North. Among Southern
tates Louisiana tipples a long
rays the most. It has one to
very 200, Mars'land comes next
rith 293. Kentucky is third with
38. This is because of the large
ities of' Baltimore, Ne w Orleans
1d Louisville. But then in Tex
s there is but one in every 549'
.rkan,sas, 554; Atabama, 608;
reorgia, 612; Florida. 653; Mis
insi~pi G54 ; Virginia 693; North
!arolina, 708; South Carolina,
00.
As a test for the coloring mat
a: in red wine it is found that,
n mrixing an equal quantity of ni
rii acid with the wine to be
ested, the color will remain un
bagee for hours if the wine be
'ure, while if artificial it is ehang
d within a minute.
It is neither safe. respectable,
.r wise to bring any youth to
nannood without a regular call
ng. Indos try, like idlenesf, is a
natter of' habit. No idle boy will
nake an active and industrious
.nd useful man.
The best way to discipline one's
'arth against scandal is to believe
L1I stories false which ought not
n0 be tre.e
THE PROMISE TO CURTAIL
PUBLIC EXPENSE.-THE
PROPOSITION TO DOU
BLE IT.
We desire to ask the Chairman,
or any other member of the State
Democratic Executive Committee,
what will be done in reference to
voting for the Constitutional
Amendments ? Will tickets be
furnished to those wishing to
vote 'No.' or will the Committee
act as heretofore, and furuish
tickets only for those wishing to
vote 'Yes?' We would like to
have information on thie ques
tion. Question. of vital impor
tance to the welfare of the people
are to be voted upon, and we
think it nothing but faire to
give both sides of these ques
tions a hearing. The matter
of new counties is one of the
questions to be settled. Various
propositions are being made to
divide the counties into much
snialler territory with the avow
ed bope of enhancing the value of
certain property, and also for the
greater convenience of the people
generally. With the area re
duced to 425 square miles some
fifty new counties may and will
be orgniized. We non huv only
34 counties. In each county
there are
1 Sberiff.
1 Clerk of Court.
1 Auditor.
1 Treasurer.
1 Master in Equity.
1 Probate Judge.
1 School Commissioner.
3 County Commissioners.
1 Clerk for County Commis
sioners.
1 Supervisor of Registration.
Twelve county officers in each
county, or in fifty counties six
hundred additional county offices
to be supported by taxing the
people. In addition to the sup
port of these officers, each county
would require:
1 Court House.
1 Jail. -
1 Poor Farm.
The Court House at Abbeville
cost about $20,000, the jail about
$10,000, and the poor farm say
$3,000, in all $33,000. The safes,
desks, pigeon holes, books and
other furniture in the Court
House is estimated at $2,500. Can
we afford to build new court
houses, and jails, purchase poor
farms for fifty new counties, and
then pay the arm'y of officers who
will thenceforth live off the pub.
lie ? Will anybody say that these
officers will live without expense
to the public ?
It is claimed that property will
be enhanced by the establish
muent of Court Houses. Is this
true ? if the property of one
town is made more valuable be
cause of the transfer of business
from another town, is not one
town injured in the exact pro.
portion that the other is benefit
ted ? All these are important
matters, and deserve serious con
siderat ion, and we think the Dem
oratc managers should give the
people a ebanee to vote either
way.
As the Democratic party in the
past has faithfully kept its pledges
in reference 'to the management
of the public funds, we presume
that it is the intention of the
party ,oc fulfill its promises in the
future. The proposition to erect
one 4hundred and fifty public
buildings by taxation, and to add
six hundred office.rs to be paid by
the people, deserves careful con
sideration by the citizen. Tbe
great majority of our people will
be burtnened by increased fees,
and higher taxes, to support an
army of six hundred officers,
more than are now maintained at
public expense. WVhere the officer
is not paid out of the treasury by
direct taxationi. the tees, und(er
the propos.ed scheme,' mast ne
essarily be greatly increased.
In addition to the six hundred
new county officers, the number
of our Senators would be in
inreased from thirty-five to eighty
five. The number of Circuit
Judges and Solictors would be
more than doubled.
To view the matter in a prac
tical ligbt, may we not ask if it
wonl -not hecapnerm to the nub
lie if gentlemen having much
business in Court, would move to
the Court House? When Mo
hammed had business on the
mountain, he went to it.
[Abbt ille Press and Banner.
The costliest pair otshoes and
stockings over heard of are said
to have been worn by a New
York lady at the White Sulphur
Springs during the season just
closed. The shoes cost $39, and
the stockings were valued at $90.
They were made of black silk, and
midway between the ankle and
the knee was a green tree em
broidered in silk, and resting up
on the branches of the tree were
bright.plurnaged birds, some in
the act of flying. On the 'bulge'
or largest part of the stocking
was a huntsman, clad in red shirt
and trousers, taking aim at the
birds in the tree. Upon the in
step was the monogram of the
lady wrought in gold letters.. Be.
tween the knee and the upper
part of the stocking were eighteen
narrow bands of many varying
hues. A reporter teils this story,
but he does not explain how be
obtained the description.-.x.
THE OVERWORKED 'PROFESSOR.'
-A mau swims further than any
other man-professor. A man
ents corns and cures bunions for e
living-professor; he waltzes three
hours without resting-professor ;
plays the fiddle and imparts to
others the secrets of the diabolical
art-professor ; walks a slack rope
stretched across the street-pro.
fessor; goes without eating twen
ty days-professor ; rides four
horses bareback-professor ; sings
in the choir-professor; teaches
a brass band-professor ; cures
warts-professor ; plays billIards
for a living--professor ; trains
dogs-professor; performs some
clever tricks of sleight of hand
professor; does anything in the
world except teach, and knows
less of books and schools than be
does of heaven-professor.-Bur
lington Rawkeye.
ANSWERING THE BISHOP.-In 1
1877 Bishop Bowman went to r
Boise City, Idaho, to hold con- I
ference. One Sunday afternoon
he got the Sabbath schools to- 1
gether and had a splendid time<
talking to the children.
He was an admirable teacher,
and soon had all the little ones
answering questions. He tried to f
explain the operations of the t
mind through the brain, but find- f
ing it difficult to make them un- I
derstand, he put his forefinger oni
the top of his head, saying, 'What a
is there?'
After a moment's dead silence a E
little boy screamed out,'Nothin'!'i
The lesson in mental philoso- i
phy came to end for that time;
but nobody onjoyed telling the I
story better than the bishop him- C
self.
Cruel as the advice may seem at t
first sigbt, it is nevertheless true 'j
that the surest way to feel com- c
fortable in very hot weather is to t
keep busy at something that in- g
duce free perspiration. The loun- c
yer on the shore of a bay or lake a
never feels so cool in the thinnest p
of clothing as he does when he
puts on his blue flanr.el shirt and v
spends an hour or two at the oars.
Ladies on piazzas or it carriages, a
farnning themselves vigorously,e
bestow much pity on men laboringc
by the roadside, but the laborerse
are more comfortable than thosei
who are doing nothing.
([Augusta Chronicle. t
Whben a dark and gloomy crisis]
in your- life is reached and de- 1
struction seems to overwhelm you
-only remember that the black
est, tiercest, storm passes quickest,
and the earth is always the
brightest after it.
They say an alligator is incapa
blei of nausea. This will afford a
comforting reflection to the man
who has just been swallowed by
one.
Re who does a base thing in
zeal for his friend, burns the
golden thread that ties their
hearts toether.
WANTED A JOB.
Yesterday a man came into the
3oomerang office with -the air of a
nan who is tired of this earth, and
ants to wing his way to a land of
orgetfulness,- and plunge into the
ethean depths of oblivion. After he
ad taken a seat in the tete-a-tete
ad bung his hat on the escritoire, he
aid:
'I'm a newspaper man myself.
)idn't know but you might want a
ood man on the staff, s,mebody to
rite up the sad featurea of life and
urnish the tearful wail, as it were.
jife is full of woe, and in my estimation
very paper should have a woe editor.
am well fitted for that position, as
ou will see, if I may be allowed to
o on and detail my experience to
ron.
'I went down -into Kansas, and
tarted a paper in a small town on
be Santa Fe road, with assurance
hat I would meet with the cordial
id and sympathy of the people there.
didn't expect to do a big business,
mt I just wanted to run a little mod
st paper, with patent telegraph news
nd electrotype editorials in it. The
rst week my patent inside didn't
et there, and I had to print that.is
ue on some paper bags that I got
rom our leading grocer. This was
n advantage, because his ad was
Iready printed on the first page, and
t saved the wear and tear of display
ype. Still the paper looked meagre,
nd did not attract the attention that
had hoped for it. It did not infln
nce the administration nor boom up
he town as I had anticipated.
'The next week I wrote up a little
ocial party and gave the name of a
roung man who was drunk and frolic
ome, and shot out all the lights. He
dso shot an old man who was 'calling.
ff' the dance.
'I thought the press ought to be
earless and outspoken if the occa
ion required, and I. wrote it up
arefully, and, as I thought, fairly,
)ut the young man came around the
mext day and convinced me that 'I
was wrong. I was writing a scath
ng article on agnosticism when he
ame in and knocked me under the
ob press with a chair. I didn't
n,w him at all, and I thought it was
ather eccentric for a total stranger,
o when I got up again I told him so.
rhen he jammed me into the wood
ox, and poured a keg of ink and a
an of coal oil on we before I could
~ave any understanding with him.
'Then he went away.
'That evening he came with some
riends and bought the good will of
he establishment, and the whvOe of
ice and subscription list of me. He
ad the advantage of me, and bought
Slow. 'I felt that I was making a
acrifice, but I was afraid I might not
have another opportunity to sell, so I
old. The price, of course, was now
nal, but the inducements held out
rere not to be ignored.
'Since then I have started three
apers, and had three large and hotly
nntested fights. My collar-bone has
een broken in two places, and my
octor's bills have always been bigger
han the other expenses of the office.
'he dentist has been pulling teeth
ut of my palate ever since I entered
be newspaper business. As soon as I
ot so I could see with bioth eyes, one
f them has been closed up on me,
nd my nose has, at different times,
ointed around all over my face.
'What I want now is a chance to
rork on some paoer in cog., as I
iight say, and'where I will be my
elf. I can take a 'most current
vent and tinge it with sadness. I
an give an air of hopeless melan
holy to the occurrences of every day
ife that will wake your paper known
11 over the world. I will admit that
his is an innovation in journalies,
erhaps, but it will take, I think, and
know that if I can succeed in im
muing into my work that settled air of
lboom that I feel, your paper will win
or itself, in a short time, the name
f being the most ghastly record of
isappointment and grief-stricken,
iorror-soaked remorse in the known
world.'
The manager sobbed a few times,
ad then said, while his voice was.
:hoked with emotion, that the opa
jue gloom department was ably filled
It present, and the stranger went out
tnto the cold, hard, unsympathizing
5ter world, taking with him the
eaden burden of woe and a silk um
brella that stood in the hal.
[Boomerana.
BOY WANTED.
There is -a Gospel tent at the dor.
ner' of Michigan 'avenue idFourth
street, and of a. Sunday evening-there
is a considerable passing in and out on
the part of pedestrians. Last Sunday
evening a boy of fourteen who had just
left the tent encountered a stranger,
who stopped him and inquired :
'Say, bub, what sort of a perform
ance is going on there ?'
-Party good thing,' was the reply -
'I'd kinder like to see the fat.wo
man and the living skeleton and the
Albino children once more, but Pm.
nurty near strapped. Is there any
way I kin work in?'
'Us boys crawl under the canvass.'
'Anybody around to knock you "! .
stiff?'.
'Never saw anybody. I'll show .
you where to go under.'
'By hokey, I'll try it I It's no
use to throw away a quarter when you
kin beat a side show.'
The boy took him around behind .
the tent and saw him safe -under, and
then crossed the street and sat down.
He waited just exactly three minutes,
and then the stranger came out of the -
tent by the door. He looked up and
down the street, closely scanned every -
youngster about him, and finally said:
to a bootblack:
'Bub, I'm looking for a youth
about two heads taller than you
peaked nose-brown stiaw hat-hair
cut short ! I want to see him so aw
ful bad for about a minute that I
give you half a dollar if you can find
him around there !'
[Detroit Free Press.
IT DIDN'T SQUEAK AGAIN.-Pred
McCabe, the ventriloquist, was agreat
joker. Some years ago he was on
the Mississippi, on board- one of the -
steamboats, and making the aeqain
ance of the engineer, he was alloreit
the freedom of the engine-room. He
sat down in a- corner, and, drawing
his hat over his eyes, seemed loitin
reverie. In a few minutes a elain
part of the - machinery began to
squeak. The engineer oiled it" and
went about his business. In another
few minutes the squeaking was again
heard, and the engineer rushed over,
oil-can in hand, to give the offending -
spindle another lubricating. - Again
he rushed to his post, and-again
the spindle- began squeaking louder
than ever. 'Jupiter,' he yelled, 'the
darned things's bewitched.' More
oil was administered, but the engin
eer began to smell a rat. Pretty soon
the spindle squeaked again, and slip
ping up behind McCabe, the engineer -
poured half a pint of oil down the '
joker's back. 'I guess that ere spin
dle won't squeak again.' And it ~
didn't.
SUSTAINING HER REPUTATION.
Young Hostetter McGinnis: one of
the fashionable yong bloods of
Austin, took a young lady to church
Sunday evening. As he had been up
quite late~ the night before, he was
very sleepy, consequently he did 'not
flirt with the fashionable young lady,
as he had heretofore been in the habit
of doing in church.
'What is the matter with you?
she whispered.
'I am not feeling well,' he whir
pered back.
'You wake up and giggle a little,
anyhow. If we don't misbehave our.
aelves in church, people will think
we arc married, and I want you to -
understand I've got a reputation to
sustain.
After that Hostetter McGinnis and
the young lady met~ed so improperly
that the sexton had to go and whis
per to them to keep quiet.
[Texas Siftings.
How many hopes way have quiv
ered for us in past years--have
flashed like harmless lightoing in
summer nights and died forever.
What a folly it is to dread the
thought of throwing away life at
once, and yet hare no regard to
throwing it away piecemeal.
No matter how purely and grandly
we live to-day there is no denying
that we may live more purely, more
grandly, to-morrow.
To have stored moral capital
enough to meet the drafts ofdeath at
sight must be ac unmatched 4onis.
An old man repents of that3wioch.
young man boasts.

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