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A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c. X E *N W B Y .C ,T RSD Y C O E 8 8 3
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37-tf COLUMBIA, S. C.
Buying and selling '
I am enabled to offer to the public i
IMPORTED AND AMERICAN
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U5nder Newberry Opera House.
june ll, 24--7mos.
ehoi se sl livr oopaat
THE ETERNAL GOODNESS.
I know not what the fnture hath,
Or marvel or surprise,
Assured alone that life and death
His mercy underlies.
No offering of my own I have,
Nor works by faith to prove,
I ean but give the gifts He gave,
And plead His love for love.
And so beside the silent sea
I wait the muftled oar ; 1
No harm from Him can come to me
On ocean or on shore.
I know not where His islands lift
Their fronded palms in air;
I only know I cannot drift
Beyond His love and care,
IIANED FOiR TIMES.
THE UNUSUAL EXPERIENCES OF A'
MAN WHOSE NECK WAS BADLY
Watts, sir, Watts, is my nap4e
Jesse Watts-leastways that is the
name by wh'ch I care to be called
For the present. I sail to-morrow
For Colorado, where they say there
is plenty of work for a man who
ares to. dig for money, and I know
what a mine is and what a miner's
life ip like; but . you spoke some
thing about the sensation of hang
ing. Now, look here, sir. As sure
is I'm a living man, I have been
aanged four times. Three, times I I
lanced my senses away on thin air,
nd 'the other time I was saved
lst as the bolt was about to be
Irawn to break my neck. Still *as
he cap was over my head and the
)arson had said, "Lord receive his
5pirit,'* I shoutd say that's ab6ut
s near hanging as most people
would wish to go, so I calls it four
bimes. I was born in the Town of
Falmouth, CornwJll. My father
was a sailmaker, doing a fair busi- E
iess. The Cornish coast abounds
n rocky cliffs, where thousands of 1
ulls build their nests. I often
ised to go egg-hunting with
ny boy friends. We used to
It a stick in a knot of rope some
wenty feet long. One end would
be fastened securely to a stake in
,he ground and then we used to let
urselves slowly down over the
liff and swing backward and for
ward, seated on the stick, along the f
Face of the rock,~ fpighten the old
birds away &nd fill our wallets with I
aggs. One morning I started out
alone with my coil of rope. I ex
pected t4 find solne comrades by
the hore, but none were there.
[oweyer, thinking they would ar
riye, I let myself down, not on the
seat, as tusual, but with the' rope in
i slip-knot beneath my shoulders.
Directly my full weight was in the
noose, it began to tighten to an
uncomfortable extent, so' I placed
my foot against a small ridge and
began to loosen the strain.
.PIRs&. AND sECOND HANGING.
I got onie ai-m out and was grad
ally putting the rope over my
body' so as to sit in thle noose',;
when a dozen gulls- flew out and]
began to attack me. My foot slip-1
ped from its hold as the rope closed]
raidly around my neck. 4I had:
time to place my right hand to my
cheek, an act which -sayed igy life,
or, althongh the pain was severe,
could breathe. 1? shouted for help,
b4t n'o help was near. iFinally thei
agony was so great that with ani
effort of despair I freed my hand and
suffocated. I recovered conscious-1
ness to~ find myself on my back in1
a fishing tent with two men bend
ing over me. It seems they had1
discovered :ny dilemma. and were:
drawing me up 'within half a min
ute after the rope closed 'round
When Ii recevered my health I be
come wild and dissipated anCl, al
though I managed to remaiu on
friendly terms with my father for
the next five years, I was regarded
in my native town as a quarrel.
some fellow, foremost in every row
and ready to get drunk whenever I
had a ui .ce. One night in a gen
eral row I killed one of mny pot-|
house .companions with a blow on
the head, delivered with a heavy
pewter vessel. I was arrested,
tried and~condemned 'to be hanged.
he day arrived for mny exedution.
My hands were piniquned, I tooik my
last look, as I sihppose<l, at the sun,
felt the whi$e cap drawn over m.y
face, and Megd h hangmaa to
pull the bolt when I arrived at the
supplication in the Lard's Prayer,
"Forgive my trespasses," I had
hardly finished the first words of
entreaty to heaven, when a loud
tumult fell on my ears, and the
word 4Reprieve !" was shouted from
mouth to mouth. The next mo
ment I was unbound and the royal
mssge ofiercy read tome. The
death penalty was commuted to ten
years' penal servitude.
THE THIRD HANGING.
~0er.xmind how -I passed the
more a free man. My poor old
father gave me ?200 and his bless
ing, and I shipped for the Cape of
Good Hope and -the diamond fields.
I' arrived at the fields, and in par
nership with an acquaintance I
made, I purchased a claim for ?150.
For a month we found next to
nothing, then succsss crowned our
work, and within~ six months of
leaving England I was worth ?2,
000. I returned to Cape Town,
but could not make up my mind
to .cross the ocean home, so I took
rooms at a crack hotel and began
to enjoy myself. -Those who find
rortune easily spend freely; in a
hortr time gambling and drink left
me with just cash enough to return
to the fields. This time I had no
money to buy a claim, so I had to
work for a percentage. Luck fav
red me, and again I was the pos
sessor of several hundreds, suffi
cient to join a company of ten in
the purchase of a large claim.
There was an old Dutchman who
lad a daughter, a handsome girl,
he only young woman for hundreds
:f miles. She and I became inti
mate. The Dutchman did not ap
prove of my attentions to his
laughter, and the way in which she
ravored me aroused the jealousy of
my companions. The Dutchman
letermined to get rid of me. One
lay he accused me of robbing him,
nd certainly a package of loose
tones, belonging to him, were
'ound in my coat pocket. I had
)een talking to Gretchen and had
;brown off my coat because of the
eat, and the Dutchman placed the
)lant on me. There is not much
ustice in a mining camp. As I
aid, I was disliked because of
,retchen's preferences, and my.
)artners, no doubt, were willing to
iave my share of the claim to di.
ride among them; so I was tried
tud condemned to be hanged in
ess than an hour of the old man's
iecusation, by a lynch jury. I was
llowed two hours to prepare for
leath; and then taken to the nearest
ree, where a rope was placed
Wround my neck and I was jerked
>y a dozen willing hands into the
tir. But before strangulation :en
ued I fell to the ground with a
hump. Gretchen had not been
die. Her entreaties brought an
>pposition crowd of diggers to my
ssistance. The tide turned in my
avor, and I believe the old villian
rould have been burned in his shan
y but for my intercession and his
la,ughter's tt ars. Gretchen jilted
ne, neverthelkss,-shortly afterward,
mnd, as I had next to no luck in my
earch for diamonds, I left the
ields again for Care Town, this
ime with only two or three hundred
)ounds in wy pocket. I found a
etter awaitin', me at the post=office,
rom a frienl in Fahpouth, telling
ne my father was dying.
FOUETH AND LAsT HANGING.
After again enduring the miseries
>f a sea voyage, i arrived in Eng
and only to find my father dead
mnd buried. lie left me a small
sum of money . id his business.
'here was no 1 ce for me in my
ative city, how, ver; blood was on
ny hands and col iness met me on
ill sides. I sold my father's
frects at public aiction and journ
d to London, where my identity
as soon lost among the many mil
ions. But the brand of Cain fol
owed me. I tried several kinds of
usiness and emplo,yment, bu.t no
uck was mine. -- 1-o6k "to drink
.gain, ana 14 fight with a policeman
Laded nle on~ce mnove ia~ a prison
ell. I was committed to hard
abor for fourteen days. Despair
seized mue. I twisted a rope out of
bhe strands I was given to convert
Lnto oakumi, made a noose for my
eck, secured the other end to the
bars 1 the window, kicked away
bhe stool and lost consciousness.
ro my dying (lay I shall remembier
the sensations of my last hanging.
[ was tranisported to a beaigtiful
paradige ' f 'meadays and flowers,
ylhege lovely fornis of children
reeted me and delicious music
sounded in my ears. It seemed to
Last for an age, but it could only
iave been a lapse of a few mo
ments, for gruff' voices succeeded
the delicious music and the faces
of the angelic children faded into
the stern features of a pair of pris
on wardens, who had cut me down
just in time. I was sentenced to
three months long:-r for the attempt
at self-destruction, and watched
night and* day to prevent a repeti
tion. I liad, how,ever, no wish to
end my life again; on the co,ntrary,
the desire for new scenes and fresh
advengre wasi full o.n me when my
relee from p)rison arrived. I still
possesed a little money, so I par
chased a ticket. for Colorado. In
the far West, with a new Dame,
new associations and a clean shave,
for I am younger than I look, Prov
idence may yet send me happiness
and^ fortune.-PhH adelphia Press.
She went into a shop to buy
some' toilet .soap, and while the
shopman was :expatiating'-on its
merits, about-made up her mind to
purchase, but when he said it would
keep off chaps she said she didn't
want that kind.
A TUMULTUOUS TIME OVER A SORE
"My dear," whimpered Mr. Spoo
pendyke, hobbling into his wife's
room and .throwing himself into a
chair with a desolate expression of
despair on his visage. "My dear,
there is something the matter with
my foot, and I can't make out what
the trouble is."
"I know !" exclaimed Mrs. Spoo
pendyke, hovering over him with
affectionate interest and solicitude.
"I think it's rheumatism."
"No, it ain't rheumatism, either !"
growled Mr. Spoopendyke. "It is
something worse than rheumatism,
and if it goes to my heart it may
kill me !"
"May be it's a stone bruise," 'sug
gested Mrs. Spoopendyke, not rea
lizing that a great deal of the sen
timent and most of the danger are
taken out of a malady when it is defi
nitely ascertained what the malady
is. "All you want is somc liniment
and you will be all right by to
"That's all you know about it,"
giunted Mr. Spoopendyke, who was
not to be put off with so small a
disaster as a stone bruise. "I tell
you, that I have got some trouble
with my foot that threatens my
life, and you stand around there
like a cork in a bottle, and talk
about it as though I hadn't got one
leg into my coffin as far as the hip.
Here I am kicking at death's door
with a game foot, and all the in
terest you have in the matter is to
shoot off a vast amount of intelli
gence about stone bruises. I tell
ye, it's something that ain't to be
trifled with. Now what're you going
to do about it?"
"Are you sure it isn't a corn?"
hazarded Mrs. Spoopendyke, timid
ly. "Sometimes corns hurt worse
than anything else; but - I never
heard of people dying of them."
"No, it isn't a corn !" howled Mr.
Spoopendyke, nursing his foot and
glaring at his wife with a mingled
expression of rage and pain. "What
d'ye think this foot is, anyway; an
agricultural district? When did'
you ever hear of a corn that reach
ed from the heel to the knee?
Which of your friends ever had a
corn that hurt clear to the ear?"
and Mr. Spoopendyke touched his
foot carefully to the floor and eyed
his wife narrowly to see if she
noticed the expression of agony on
"If it acts that way it must be a
bunion?" exclaimed Mrs. Spoopen
dyKe triumphantly, "Al you have
got to do is take your boot off and
put your slippers on."
"That's it !" yelled Mr. Spoopen
dyke, hauling off his shoe and firing
it across the room. "When a man
is dying of inflammatory, it's only a
bunion ! You've got it ! A pain
that starts at the toe, runs to the
back of the neck and ties in a hard
knot over the spine is a bunion !
Show me the bunion !" he con
tinued, sticking his leg out straight
and pointing his finger at the offend
ing foot. "Take this digit in your
lily white hand and place it tender
ly on the dod gasted bunion before
I die and forget what killed me !
Pick it out of the surrounding anat
omy !" he yelled, wriggling his foot
and bouncing uip and down in his
chair in a delirium of rage. "Pluck
the bunion 'from its mountain fast
ness on the hoof of Spoopeudyke
and hold it up to the gaze of the
"Does it hurt-?" commenced
Mrs. Spookendyke, soothingly.
"Hurt !" roared Mr. Spoopendyke,
springing from his chair and danc
ing around the room. "Of course
it don't. It tickles ! Hurt ! 4t's
a picnic ! Say, ng, dear," and his
voice was low and t,ender. "Ssay,
my dear, instead of going in the
contry this summer. we'll lay in a
stock of bunions and wear 'em
around for our health and recreation!
Hurt !" he shrieked, breaking out in
a new spot. "Hurt ! it feels like a
band of music ! That's what it is,
a bunion ! It took you to hit it !
When I get time to fit you up with
a full beard and a bottle of whisky
I'm going to start a dispeugary
with you ! If you'd only improve
yogr mind until you reached the
standard of intelligence of a mod
erate donkey, you'd only need a
stolen corpse and a.bad smell to be
a first class medical cOifege !"
'Say, dear," observed Mrs. Spoo
pendyke, who had been carefully
expliring her husband's boot; "Say,
dear, I think I hive found out what
the trouble is. It isn't a bunion,
after all. Here is a peg sticking
out here aboqt a quarter of an inch.
If you will have that taken out I
don't believe you will suffer any
Mr. Spoopendyke jammed his hat
over his eyes, shoved his feet into
his slippers, grabbed the obnoxious
boot and started for the door with
a withering look at his wife as he
"I don't care," murmuredi Mrs.
Spopendyke, as the front doo
slammed vindictively ; "'I don't care.
If hehas it taken out he has to ad
mit that I was right, and if he doesn't
n ...m k..rthit+llha dies T
don't know which will be the
for him, but he will have to do
or the other." And with this c
ing triumph still in her mind, Mrs.
Spoopendyke began to scare the
flies out of the room with a sheet,
wondering why a fly who has been
half smashed against one window
frame will insist on coming in at
the other window to be smashed over
TIE RAH AN AND THE
There is an old Sanskrit story
which shows the folly of being in
fluenced into giving up what we
know to be true just because' so
many clever people contradict it.
Three thieves once saw a Brah
man toiling along, carrying a fine
goat on his back. Now these rogues
made their living by outwitting
people; and for this purpose, with
diligence worthy a better cause.
studied all the weaknesses and
faults of the human race.
In this case a plan was speedily
concocted, which they proceeded to
One ran swiftly through a by
path till he was some distance be.
hind the Brahman; then, striking
the main road, he sauntered care
lessly back tiil he saw the Brahman
"Ha," said he, accosting the lat
ter, "it is a warm day to be carry
ing such a, load. Is your dog
"Dog !" said the Brahman; "what
"Why, the one you have on your
"Man, this is a goat !" quoth the
Brahman, and pressed on, feeling a
mild contempt for the idiot.
Soon he met a second pedestrian
(the second thief).
"What is the matter with the dog.
friend?" asked this second man, in
a sympathizing tone ;"you must have
a kind heart, indeed, to lug that
great brute this hot day."
"Man, can you not see that it is a
gct?" asked the Brahman.
"Do you joke with me, old man?
Don't you suppose I know a goat
from that dog?"
"It is a goat, I tell you !" asserted
the Brahman, and pressed on, but'
not before the look of innocent
astonishment dn the other's face
awoke perplexing doubts. Could
his eyes hay deceived him, or had
he taken leave of his senses? Here
was another stranger coming, he
would refer the question to him.
He was saved that trouble, for
the third thief, at the Brahman's
approach, struck an attitude of
"What ails you fellow?" said the
"Is it not enough to surprise a
wiser man than I, to see one of your
years carrying that great dog?"
But then, poor soul, if it pleases
you, what matter?"
This was to much for the ,Brah
man, and throwing his burdeq off
he strode away, leaving the thief
with his booty.
TIlE DETECTIVE PARROT.
An exciting scene took place the
other day at He_nry Jackson's shoe
store, gn Columbia avenue, which
iearly resulted in the arrest of anTr
innocent man. The cause of the
trouble was this: Jackson has an
educated parrot which he loves
dearly. UIenry is generally cob
bling in the back room, and the
parrot has been taught to scream
when customers enter. Mrs. Jack
son had laid her pocketbook on the
counter and run upstairs to hush
the crying of her boquving boy.
Remembering where her pocket
book was she returned and got it.
Jtust then a customer came in. He
knocked and rapped for some time,
but no one coming in he turned to
leave, when the parrot shrieked :
"Henry - customer-pocketbook
Jackson, hearing this, nearly
broke his neck in hurrying into the
store, dropping his lapstone on his
foot. He shouted in the most vio
lent manner :
"What do you mean, anyhow. by
trying to run off with my p'vket
book?" The customer, struck dumb
with Henry's remark, immediately
whirled around and asked what he
"1 mean 'ust what I ay. You
took~ niy pocketbook, and~ if you
don't give it to rue I' llsl an
"I haven't seen a pocketbook for
a. month," said the stranger, "and I
won't stand any such insult."
Whereupon .the parrot spoke up:
.Both men adworked their
nerves up to a high state of excite.
ment, and it looked very much as
though there would be a .set-to.
"Pauline," the parrot, was over
joyed, and shouted: "Police ! Po
"Oh, lame you, shut up !" cried
the thoroughly infuriated custo
mer. Both men stood and. stared
at each other for a moment, then
burst out into a hearty-laugh and
shook hands, The customer thed
purchased a pair of "calf English
Bals," number ten.-ikiaelphi
FIXING A SKINFLINT.
Tough business? Well I should
The ex-steamboat clerk referred
to the old days on the upper Mis"
sissippi, Minnesota and St. Croix
"The people living along the riv
era used' to think it was righteous
to beat a steamboat man whenever
they could. We had to keep our
eyes open for all sorts of swindlers.
Steamboatera were common prey
for- those people. I remember
once our boat worked all day to
get through the Hawk Creek chute,
a narrow, shallow and tremendous.
ly swift place in the Minnesota
River. An old codger on the bank
saw us working away with all our
might and burning our wood at a
fearful rate. He calculated we'd
need wood by the time we got
through the chute, so he harnessed
his oxen and hauled several cords
df green cottonwood down to the
bank. Sure enough, when we got
through we had used up all- our
wood, and were burning almost
clear rosin out o' the barrels.
When we lauded I asked the old
curmudgeon what he wanted for
"'Four, dollars a cord.'
"'But,' says I, 'we buy the best
maple for $2,50.'
"'Four dollars for this. Take
it or leave it.' The old skinflint
knew we had to take it, although
green cottonwood is the poorest of
"Well, I measured off two cords
jut eunough to take us to the next
wood-pile. While the rousters were
taking it aboard I whisgered some
thing in the mate's ear, and then
when the wood was all shipped, I
told the old swindler to come to
the office on the boat and get his
pay. When we were well .in the.
office the mate pulled in the staging
and we put out into the river. I
paid the wood man his $8.
"'Here,' says he, as ho stepped
out on deck and saw we were in the
middle of the river, 'I want to get
"'Do you?' says L 'Well, you'll
just pay us $8 to land for you.'
" 'Then I'll go tb the next Land
ing with you,' says he.
S'All right, you can go, but it'll
cost you just $8 for the ride,' says
"He finally paid me tho $8, and
we ran up nigh the bank and let
im jump off in the mad. Yes,
those people along the river used
to abuse us steamboat men shame
BOYS AND TRADES.
"BILL ARP" TALKS A 8HORT PIECE.
I believe in these schools where
boys can learn trades.- Peter the
Great quit his throne and went off
to learn how to build a ship, and
he learned from stemn to stem, from
bull to mast, and that was the; be
gixring of his greatness.
I know a young man who was
poor and smart, and a friend sent
him to one of these schools up North,
and he stayed two years, and came
back as a mining engineer and a
bridge builder, and last year he
planned and built a cotton factory,
and is getting a large salary.
How many college boys are there
in Georgia who can tell what kind
of native timber will bear the heav
ies't burdens, or why you take white
oats for one part of s .wagon and
ash for another, or what timber will
last longest under water?
How many know sandstone from
limestone, or iron from manganese?
How many know how to cut a
rafter or a brass withont'a pattern?
How many know which turns the
fastest-the top of thie wheel or the
bottom as the wagon moves along
How manf know how steel is
made, and how a snake can climba
How many know that a horse
gets up before and a cow gets up
behind, and the cow eats grass
from her and the horse eats to him.
How many know that a surveyor's
mark upon a tree never gets any
higher from the gronud; 'or what
tree b.earn fruit without bloom?
There is a power of coisfort in
knowledge, but a boy is not going
to get it unless he wants it bad,
and that is the trouble with most
college boys; they don't want it.
They are too busy, and haven't got
time. There is more hope of a dull
boy who ,wants knowledge, than of
a .genius generally who knows it all
without study. .The close observ
ers are the world's benefactors.
.Water reddens the rose, whisky
the nose, and tight boots the toes.
When does a man feel girlish?
When be makes. his maiden speech.
Gravity is no more evidence of
wisdom than a paper collar'"Is of a
A doctor's motto is supposed to
be "patientis and long suffering.'"
Adiertatenents tnserted: t : "
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and 7. easts foe eacb subsee K;
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of respect, same rates per sgaaseoreoM
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Special contracts made ~MW=th
Users, with liberal dedutctio us on"AT -
DONE WITH NEATNEss AiD D8A*Z
A FRIEND IN NEED.
A man's- best friends are not at ,
ways those of his own ouseol(
Jake Bolybug is- in very edtia
circumstances. He is likewiseI*
bad health. His clothes are in
sad condition 'that he has:
been mistaken for.a men :
press. Jake &olybuig used o *
school with Samuel Sandly,,
known to be exceedingly
cal. Jake called on Sam the:Aes
day, and begged him for a
of a dollar, not as a subsi
merely as a loan.
"I -haven't got any money ,
you," was the rudeiresponae.
"rIll pay ydu, Sam,beforee
"rve got no money, I tellf
It takes every cent I've gotb o
port my -poor old mother andi -
bed-ridden sister," and ,be yoice
the supposed hard-hearted
grew husky, and a peaTry f
trickled down his- u
cheek, so to speak
"But,- Sam, I happen to
that you made your old
wood and do the house-work
you don't contribute a cent to '
bed-ridden sister, for you had
carted over the hill. to the pe
house last week, so neither
costs you a cent.'
"You know that, doyur
"Well, if thate-te -
those nearest and "eara
what ehasee.doyu p
have of squeezing aguit
me, when you are-noteven
to me-ebh"-'l u K
N-I1XAHE OF LWF.
Somebody has condensed
mistakes of life, and arritdst
conclusion that tebe are f
of them. Most people
if the.y told the trath,~
was no limit to the
ife; that thieywe
Irops in the ocean:gi
af the a reioreda
it is well to be aetI
then, .are the fondteen
It Is a great~*e2
wrong adjue epi -
L to. tess e
rormity o ~no n h&
[od for ui iTn n,
Iispositions alike; ac,
immaterial triS.e#; to41boe$
reetion in our-own acti~
rf ourselves and othes witl
cannot be remedled; -s~
ill that needs af~laas
lies in our power; --i1
others; -to cosider
possibile that we camsbt & ni
believe what otir 'bite
grasp; to expect to
derstand evetything. -'h
mistake is to live oulfin
when any momeBnt may.
sOVeT NOTE,: 2
ored man of about
clean uphis ream, 6
who had been using bi
"Boss, our bisekin an OboS
"What do you manT
the sordid ep~r
belongs to mea4
to you. I want yout
that nothing d~ i
comply with the ~es~(
following Sunday the bes
ed to meet the clr&
accompaied by a bo e
"Was that yoar bh n
number of his -
"No, Boss, dat's not.
dat's your eile rsQ hbr
to say nuffin- belopia to
How ON &faiy GOT
NAm.-A gentleman who iIZ
had busin*ss in t,he gera
office at San. Franelsed &
Uhristian name was UsuaL
was thought to be a jk
register, but theget0
this explanation ofhowb
to receive it: His hews
ly desirouso of
but as child after
him he was: iapitd
the seyenth c*IM was s'
father was compelled to
"A boy, as usual. Ignes
have togo thtoughilfe as
aozns.-A tra,ei nam~
ing aprettygirl stoi in n
wit over in her isic,
"Is una ee segage
"No,~ sir, but I aam.d ~
togeon at tit