A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c,
Vol. xx. NEWBERRY, S. C., THURSDAY, MIARCH 13,.1884.9o I
EVERY THURSDAY MORNING,
At Newberry, 8. C.
SHIJOB. P. GREWKER,
Edito: and 'raprieeaY
- luvariabl 13!'AdvaaoS
im f Th pai pttped at the expiration o
lint or wich t ispaid
!? The M4 mark denotes expiration oJ
IN THE STOCK OF
wbi *re closing out at greatly
r d #i&s.
co moiousStore, which was for
L ely occ d j.B rn h&
M. I An. -
TELEGRAPH OPERATOR'S WONDER
zr~ wit lo Poisoin. Had psor,
my nostrils and ears. I tried everything
a h~6alf the doe. Ater taigfour
ocdore keeaor Three ah
ien tkg& S. S, and thereis
that tify rep1d adIs ess
unorumecaa ~4sea wh *I
men. S N.GGA Y.
I eJ'a~kable- suxess Mt$ swifts a pe
elk; ave cured several cases erwanently in a
2Il e dm cattu e wbottieasp
so far recovered that I think one more bottle will
esre her. The most remarkable case of all was a
with medulary cancer of the womb, for whom I
nohedr whtvr fe sn ne bottle I am
3. WYLIE QUIUlA X. D.
$1000 Reward will be paid to any Chemist
whi .xi, theanalysis otWO bottles s.. &S.,
of Mercury, Iodide Potas,m, or any
TIlE SIP'iISPECIFIC cCo..
Offers E xtra Bargains!'
Tou will Save Money.
lad nul T e itee~k of
?i ! eaots, AWoe8s
AM RAL REMEDY!
gE9T3E3 MYIS P.P i *i Jp1S11
AEMEYmrer&r thom, an here
A REMEDY endorsed by the best Physicans
A that* Mr8. C .o-eill,oodwater,
Ala.. say raied his'.-ife from an invalid's bed,
ARDY of whc a prominent Atlanta
merchant said. "I would have given 500 as soon
as I would anickle for what two bottles of your
A R ED na rer towhich S. 3. OaeIp
MD, Dru stfThomnavill, Ga.. azI
athe~ tsa reeie-o
A of h Dr: l
ner Marietta. Ga., says he has used in his fm
ily with the "utmnost satisfaction" and recom
mended it to three families "who found it to be
A ~ 1whiih -Itbrton, Iverson, &
- ar "We sold 50iogsn four months, andunerer
A m.D by which Dr. Baugh, of LaGrange,
G.a~" cured one of the'most obstinate
oL's XmaraAT!ce that eve
A o(vhch Dr. C. Russ, Notasulp
h c ovncdwha It Isun
ABENEY about which Ma. John C. Whitner,
of A well andiv known all over
uyq~'I rezi~fore the ar on a
lare pauafiflon g pet 'nunhir of case
A irwhich Ur. W. Rtangs, Alt
certiowfiesttn ese cured
A tl~~s CHAE RIla A2NY OHru
asistgall t5.rie.: Small size Th cents,
U. WUL ,
J. S. RUSSELL'S,
Over Stock of
Bagging and Ties al
New Orleans Molasse
Tin and Creckery Ware,
BOOTS & SHOES,
Sugar. Coflee, Tea and all kinds of
Groceries.-I have no Store Rent.
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try and inake it pay you to
3. S. RTUSSFDLL.
U B S 0 AA 174 .4
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AprR I, M--y
What is true love? I pray thee,
0, heart of mine, make known;
"Two souls with one emotion,
Two hearts that beat as one."
And tell me how love cometh :
"It coies and still cxtend-.''
And tell me how love endeth :
"That is not love which ei;ds.
And say, what love is purest ?
"That which no self-love knows."
And when does love flow deepest
"Whenl it the stIlest flows.
And when is love the riches.t?
"When most to give it moves."
And tell ImC how love speaketh:
"It does not speak-it loves."
A GAL Y I RTTOIEN
Geo-ge Somerville was a poor
struggling attorney of a western
town, and yet his poverty was not
caused by any lack of legal ability.
On the contrary, few attorneys
could badger a stubborn witness or
cajole an ignorant jury as well as he.
But*he had one great fault, and a
multitude of other little irregulari
ties followed in its train-George
was fond of the bottle. This degrad
ing vice, naturally enough, kept
him out of clients, and kept Mrs. S.
out of pocket money, and other lit
tle necessaries so essential to. the
mother of a few urchins with which
Providence blessed her.
One eveiing Mrs. S. came into
the office with a very long and wry
expression of countenance.
"Mr. Somerville, are you aware
that we are on the verge of ruin?"
"Goodness! madam, you astonish
"Astonish you! I declare yon
take it very easy, sir. You should
be ashamed to acknowledge that
your wife knows the state of your
affairs better than yourself."
"So madam we are on the verge
"Well, madam, what then?"
"I declare, sir you'd annoy a
saint, with your provoking coolness.
How can you talk thus of a matter
of life and death. Have you no
way of extricating us from the per
il in which we are placed? If you
have not, then I tell you that you
will not have a roof over your head
this day month. The importunities
of your creditors are growing so
threatening that I can no longer
stave off the fatal moment. All
credit is exhausted. I repeat, sir,
something must be done."
I quite agree with you, mad
am; but the question-what is to be
"I will leave you leisure to solve
that problem, sir," said Mrs. S.,
slamming the door after her, leaving
her worthy lord and master a perfect
picture of helpless absurdity.
George was a terror to everybody
he met. He could tyrannize over
his own superiors in the Law
Courts. All who had dealings
*lth him felt uneasy in his pres
ence, as if they feared the wither
ing sarcasm of his tongue. But
there was one person on this planet
who wasn't one jot afraid of the law
yer, and that person was his wife.
We left him sitting alone in his
office, as we shall call it, for busi
ness, of any consequence he had
none. Something must be done,"
said he to himself, with strong em
phasis on the "must," but the tan
tilizing question would again pres
ent itself-"What in the name of
all that's wonderful can be done?"
After that exclamation came
a long, and ,to judge from his coun
tenance, painful chain of thought.
At last he started up excitedly.
"Yes, I will do it."
Without one moment's hesitation
he opcned a private bureau, and
took out a beautiful smoking-cap
with a gold band-a very remark
able cap indeed-and, placing it on
his head, surveyed himself in the
glass. A cold smile dawned on
his face. Perhaps it was an un
meaning, Cassius-like smile that
might as well have been a scowl.
Ah ! George, if the countenance is
an index to the thoughts, some
qualm of conscience had nearly
shaken your purpose then. He
wasn't the man, however, to do-any
thing by halves. Going to the
same bureau, he took forth a small
six-chambered revolver and a pair
of whiskers. Putting all three in
his breast pocket, he started out
unknown to his wife, muttering to
himself, "How lucky I thought of it
in time. In another hour it would
be to late. No murder in any case
whatever comes of it." Crossing a
fewfields he got out upon the high
way, and in less than an hour was
five or six miles from town. Here
he- paused . breatsess,- but.had
sicarcely time to don the esp and
whiskers when the sound of wheels
inn tolA Mim the time wa cme.
It was now pretty far advanced in
the evening. Objects could not be
distinguished father than a few
yards. Taking a hasty backward
glance to-be assured it was the par
ty expected, George allowed the
carriage to over take hini at a steep
"Halt! driver; if you move an
inch you are a dead man," and the
six-chamber gleamed before his
The driver took in the situation
at a glance. lie saw the futility
of resisting. He saw the steep hill
before him. He saw the deadly
weapon in George's hand, aid lie
remained a passive and timid spec
tator of the scene which 4ollowed.
"What's the matter.' roared t"e
occupant of the carriage--a wealthy
old usurer and banker-putting his
head out of the window; but the
sight of the revolver was enough
"So, sir, you mean to rob me."
-No bandying, old fellow. I have
no time to lose. Out with that lit
tle blue bag beside you, or take
"Suppose I refuse, scoundrel.'
Perhaps you have no objection
then to an ounce of lead. Come,
come, old man, you and I are men
of the world. We should know
how to deal with esch other.
You're rich, and I'm poor, poor.
very poor. You have no hope to
get away alive if you refuse to de
liver. Quick! quick! before some
stragglers upset my little plan."
"I will give you half."
"How much have you in those
two little bags beside you?"
"A thousand pounds; five hun
dred in each.'
-'All right old chap. Hand out one
of them, and away you go."
The old banker handed out the
bag reluctantly. saying, "I will yet
see you safe within the dock, sir."
i-Don't be too sure of that, old 0
man. By jove, you are a plucky t
old fellow after all." Putting his 0
head very close to the old banker's s
nose, he said, by way of a parting b
"Take a good look at me now,
and try to remember the features
of the man who robbed you. Bye, p
bye;' and th(n immediately jumped (
inside the wall, making for his
home as quick as his legs coild
carryhiM, knowing that the alarm
would be all over the country - as b
soon as the carriage could make -
the nearest police station. Passing y
a farmers house lie threw the smok
ing cap inside the palings, and in t
another hour was safe and sound in .
Next day the whole country
round rang with thrilling accounts
of the daring robbery. The streets t
were alive in the little town of t
V -d. All i,usiness was sus- f
dended. Little knots of p)eople e
were scattered here and there dis- 0
cssing all the circumstances. How ti
the wealthy old Jlacob Grimes had C
been robbed whea~ about six miles k
from town last ni..;t, with eight or
nine hundred pou ids in specie for
the bank at R.-a. in the carriage a
with him. The l->cal newspapers ~
had .leading articles on it. Pla
ards-were -posted on every avail- tI
able dead wall in the locality. The t(
olice wereon the alert. All strag- e
iers were helId in custody. U
George Somerville's thoughts 'I
were not the pleasantest as he
strolled through the streets. hrstening b
o the exagg. rated accuts of his l
little adventure. "How lucky no
one ever saw that cap with me, or
those whiskers,'' he muttered, "not !
even my wife. No human eye ever
rested on th am since the night HIar
ry Weldon th;rew them in my office
after the theatricals at Jackson's. b
Harry Weldon is now at the Anti
podes, and it is not likely any one
will remembcr a cap he wore one 0
night, twenty years ago."
On the. followving day the excite
ment was at fever heat when the -
news spread that the robber had
been captai-ed, and the astonish- i
ment of all was great whien Farmer d
Brown's- son was marched in custo
dy to the police7-tition. Non-e r4
were willing to believe him guilty.
Besides, the money had not been ti
founrd upon him. But, then, old
Grimes positively asserted thaE lie t:
was the man who robbed himnr.aThe
cap he wore was a very remarkable
oe. It was found upon young ~
Brown, and was now in the hands b
of the authorities. A richly got up -t
smoking-cap with a gold band. '
WVe find George Somerville sit
ting alone for the second time in
his office brooding.t
"Funny affair altogether, by jove,"
he ejaculated. "I wonder how will S
I get the unfortunate fellow out'of S
it. I've halt' a mind to confess the '
Tap, tap, tap. t
Enter Farmer Brown. I
"Good morning, Mr. Brown. C2
Take a seat, '
"Good mbrning, Mr. Somerville. r
I suppose you guess my business a
with yon !"
"I was sorry to hear of your son's
u'raut for thin tobbery. It mnat ha 1
a case of mistaken identity."
"Certainly. But at any rate, h
must be defended, and I suppose .
ran count on you to do your besi
"Of course. What is the defence?
"Why, yes. I believe so. Ile
aever left the house the evening
the robbery occurred."
"But the cap
"Oh ! I forgot. lie Found the
2ap next morning about twenty
>erches from the door, and foolish.
y wore it all day. It must have
>een thrown there by the real rob.
>er. The police, when searching
tround the place, found it with him.
lence the arrest, and now you have
il I know inysclf,'
--I see, I see. The case coimes otT
Lt the next.assizes. In the mean
.imqe I will hunt up all t1he evidene
can in his behalf. Depend upon
t no stone shall be left unturned.'
"Thanks good morning.''
The expression of George's face
fhen the farmer left was a study
'or an artist. There was a merry
winkle around his eye that would
nake you laugh, if the determined
.spc(t of the rest of his features
a.dn't held you in check. He nev
r could look serious about the
yes. They were made for fun.
o matter how firmly the lips com
iressed themselves, or the frown
larkened on his forehead the eyes
efused point blank to join the gen
ral humor of the countenance.
['hey were always merrily twinkling
ike too little stars, as if they scorn
d to be in earnest about anything.
Yeorge was terribly in earnest now.
'he web was thickening around
iin. Nothing short of some un
eard of coup de main can save hini.
le was in a dilemma. Would Old
3rimes recogynize him at the trial.
"Ileigho !" said lie, "here goes for
ue never failing remedy to smoothe
he troubled mind," and he pulled
ut a cigar. lit it, and rocked him
elf in a large arm chair, with his
ands locked behind his neck, and
he eyes twinkling merrily up to
rard the ceiling.
If George continues long in this
osture Brown has a good chance.
,eorge is brooding.
It is Assize day in the town of
1-d. Crowds of people are
ustling toward the court house.
'he topic of the hour is the trial of
oung Brown for robbery. The
idge having taken his seat on the
ench at 11. 30 a. in., the business
f the day is opened. Brown's is
ie first case called. After the
iry having been empanelled. Jacob
,rines stepped into the witness
ox. His evidence is brief and to
ie purpose. "le was stopped by
ie accused when about six miles
-om the town of B-d. on the
vening of the 26th May last. Pris
ner must have known that he was
>pass that way at that hour, etc.,
~c.," all of which out readers
The driver corroborated all this.
It was evident the case was dead
~ainst Brown. The fact of the cap
George Somerville stood up for
ec defence. All eyes were turned
iwards him. iIe was v'isibly excit
1 Every one who saw him felt
iat a new feature was to be intro
need into the case.
"You say, sir, that you were rob
ed on the evening of the 26th May
st, six miles from B--d?"
"How much money had you?"
"A thousand pounds."
"How much was taken?"
"You say you had two separate
ags-five hundred in each?"
"Did the robber know he left one
f those behind him?"
"Yes. he did. Because as I
"Stop now, please. You've an
gered my question sufficiently."
All this was irrelevant. George
as only beating about the bush
et. He appeared sanguine now.
[is eyes were twinkling. The coup
e main was coming.
"I think, sir, you don't know who
"I am quite positive about it, on
"Are you? Quite confident it was
2e prisoner at the bar?"
"I wouldn't be a bit surprised if
ou said it was his lordship on the
ench, or one of the jury, or myself
mat robbed you. People say
our memory is not good. Show
ie that smoking cap, police
The policeman handed George
"I declare it fits me admirably,"
aid he,.fitting it on as he spoke,
nd looking jauntily toward the
!tness chair. Moving near to old
krimes, be edged his way up close
: his elbow, and in a rather low
aice, but in the very tone in which
e used the wordL. on a former oc
"On your solemn oath, didn't the
aan who robbed you when leaving
ay, 'Take a good look at me now,
,d try to remember the features of
be man who robbed you. Bye,
'ye' -? ~
An ashy hue came over Grimes
face, as he recognized the voice and
tone. l e saw his friend of the 26th
Ma5 before him. The next mo
inent he was all aflame with passion.
He could not contain himself any
longer. Jumping from off his seat
he collared George, shouting
"You are the man who robbed
me. I see my mistake, now. That
cursod cap misled me. You did it
cleverly. sir,* bit you're caught now.
I said i'd see you safe within the
(lock yet, and I will."
--Didn't I tell your lordship, he
didn't know who robbed him."
"Yes, I do, but too well, I know
it now. By all my hopes of---"
"You may go down now, sir."
said his lordship. "As the gentle
man engaged for the defence haq
said, you don't know who robbed
you. You may retire, gentleman
of the jury, to consider your ver
dict. I will not insult your intelli
gence by addressing you after what
The jury came out almost immedi
ately with a verdict of acquittal,
and Brown was discharged.
After this famous success, crowds
of clients poured in to George. He
is now a thriving lawyer, with a
large and increang practice. One
morning, about six months after
Brown's trial, old Jacob Grimes
found a little blue bag, containing
five hundred pounds in gold, inside
his hall door, left there by some
unknown hand. Not one farthingi
of it was ever touched. Nay, the
bag even was never touched.
George was sorry from the very mo
ment after the act - being done.
Mrs. Somerville never knew any
thing abont it. Reader, forgive
him if you can. As he himself
"Those whiskers and that smok
-ing cap in my bureau first suggested
the wicked thought."
From our Regular Correspondent.
WA.MHING TON, D. C. Mar. 11, 1884.
Business is moving along quietly
in Congress, but there are indica.
tions that rapid progress will be
made hereafter. The committees
of the House have worked like bea
vers pilling up and marking out
business for consideration on the
floor and when the reports begin to
come in there will be lively work.
President-making is the chief busi
ness of interest outside of Congress,
and on the Republican side a great
deal of anxious attention is being
given to the contest now going on
in the State of New York over the
the selection of delegates. The
friends of Mr. Arthur are straining
every nerve to capture a majority
of the delegation and hope by that
means to secure the solid vote of
the State for the man who John
Sherman, when Secretary of the
Treasury, said was not worthy to
be entrusted with the office of col
lector of the port of New York.
But they have found a good deal of
strong opposition which develops
more and more every day. The
tools and methods relied upon by
Arthur to secure the State for him
ai-e not satisfactor- to the better
elements of the party. They be
long purely' to the lowest machine
workers and tactics. The strongest
point made by the President's
friends in his favor is that he has
done nothing to offend anybody;
and it is true that a large quantity
of empty champagne bottles are
the sole monuments of Mr. Arthur's
official career. Hie don't even fil
vacancies in office when they occur,
lest the unsuccessful applicants
should be against him, but holds
them open to promise and trade on
for delegates. There are many
vacancies which have been accumu
lating for several months and old
p)oliticianls are beginning to remark
that the President is overdoing the
thing and that it will finally do him
more hurt than good.
In this connection I may state
that Mr. Springer's proposition for
an amendment to the Constitution,
making the Presidential term six
years, and rendering the President
ineligible to reelection for the next
succeeding term, is received with
great favor. It provides for a
direct vote for President in each
State, and abolishes the electoral
college. Each State shall have a
number of votes eonmal to the num
her of its Representatives and Sen
ators in Congress, to be given to
each candidate in proportion to the
total vote cast for each. The term
of Representatives ini Congress is
fixed at thmree years. and Congress
shall meet each year on the first
Wednesday in January, the first
session to convene in the January
succeeding the November election.
There are many considerations to
recommend these changes, not the
least ef which would be raising the
Presidential office and administra
tion to something above a scheming
machine for the succession.
Some idea of tbe danger we are
approaching through the destruction
of our forests may be gathered fromJ
the faot reported by one ofth
first lumber statisticians now living
that the entire ttock of standinc
white-pine in the United States
does not exceed 80,000,000,00(
feet, which includes the small
inferior trees which used to bE
thought not worth cutting. anO
10.00,000,000 feet out of these
80,000,000,000 are cut every year,
with the demand steadily increasing
The annual value of the product o
our mills as it falls from the saw is
$300,000,000, of which white-pine
is the chief item. At the lumber
yard from which it is obtained by
the consumer, the worth of this an.
nual product is 50 per cent more, or
$450,000,000. To replace this from
other countries. which, by the w:y
is an impossibility, would require
more than all the tonnage of the
world for its transportation, and it
would then cost in the yard more
than twice what it does now. Here
then we have an annual deficit of $1,
000,000,000, to say nothing of the
loss from the crippling of manufac
tures depending on working wood,
and the derangement of the water
supply. In Michigan to day,
good. standing pine. bought of the
United States Government for $2 50
per acre, is valued at $200 per acre,
and yet the remorseless slaughter
of our remnant. of timber goes on
at increasing speed; and the cut of
last year was the greatest ever
known. One out of the eight years'
supply is thus entirely taken away,
and the end is therefore close at
hand unless we begin to eco-.omize.
These are cold facts to which Con
gress should promptly apply rene
lHon. John B. Alley and family.
of Massachusetts, and Col. Bob In
gersoll and family left Washington
a few days since for New Mexico
where they have gone to take pos
session of the Bosler interest in
Dorsey's ranch, which is 60 miles
long and 24 miles wide, and water
ed by the Chico Springs River.
There are now on it 45,000 head
of cattle and 600 horses, divided
into small heads, each of which has
its corral and herdsman's houses.
Dorsey mortgaged one-half interest
in this estate to the late Mr. Boster,
to raise the ready cash necessatry
for his defense when he stood his
trial in the Star route cases, and the
death of Bosler placed him in an
unpleasant pecuniary position.
Col. Ingersoll extricated him by
convincing Mr. Alley that it was a
good investment, and Mr. Alley
drew his check for $400,000 to
clinch his bargain, following it in a
few days by $300,000 more. Mr.
Alley may. after all, have the seat
in the United States Senate which
his friends have claimed for him.
coining from New Mexico, however,
instead of Massachusetts.
THlE WANT OF SYSTEU,
It is astonishing how much time
people lose for want of 'system'. A
girl ri?,es, dawdles about dressing.
gets late for breakfast, and then the
best part of the day is gone.
A young fellow has finished his
work; he idles about with a few
rriends, andi before he knows it, it
s past nine o'clock, and the even
ng is practically wasted.
Any quantity of work can be
ione in a lifetime if there is only
organization and application.
No matron or maid, sitting down,
f'or instance, to make a knitted
counterpane,.could do the whole at
one sitting;but aquarter of an hour's
work every day would accomplish
the whole task long as it is in the
course of a few weeks.
The minutes, too, have an 01(1
trick of slipping away so swiftly
that. if they are not caught and ap
plied to a good purpose, they are
wasted in a manner which leaves
the years periodically a blank.
The young husbands who come
home in the evening and grow suil
ky because their wives are untidy,
and the fire place dirty with the
ashes, and who are told by their
spouses there has been "so much to
do" that time for '-tidying up''
could not be found, may make sure
that "system" is lacking somewhere.
The heaviest days' work can be
got'tbrough, either by the fireside
on the wife's part, or out of doors
on the husband's side, if time is on
ly taken by the forelock, every
thing begun early, and everything,
too, systematically carried out.
Jack is a coach dog that found
his master by telephone. In some
way Jack got lost, and fortunately
was found by one of his master's
friends, who went to his office and
asked by telephone if the man had
lost his dog. "Yes, where is he?"
was the reply. "He is here. Sup
pose you call him through the tele
phone." The dog's ear was placed
over the ear-piece, and his master
said, "Jack ! Jack ! how are you,
Jack?' Jack instantly recognized
the voice, arnd began to yelp. He
licked the telephone fondly, seem;
ing to thiag that his master was in
side cif the machine. At the other
end of the line the gentleman reco
gnized the barks, and shortly after
wards he reached his friend's offie
toca bla p roperty.
Advertisements inserted at the rate of
$1.00 per square (one inch) for first insertio
and 75 cents for.each subsequent inserio i.
Double column advertisements ten per ce-,
Notxes of meetings,obituaries and tributS
of respet,. same rates per sqasre as ordhin -
Special Notices in Local colamn 15 eeT t
Advertisements not marked with the nm.
ber of insertions will be kept in tin forbw
and charged accordingly.
Special contracts made with large adver
tikers. with liberal Jedactions on above rates
DONE WfTH NEA TNESS AND DISPAT.B
A WORM LBOUT EC'ONOMY.
But very few people seem to un
derstand the principles of true econ
oiny. If some persons have money,
they are never satisfied until they
have spent it. It seems to burn
their pockets. When it is all gone,
they then have to struggle for exis
tence. Such persons are very poor -
managers. They live on the prn.
ciple of "live to-day and let to mor
row provide for itself.' Now that
is a very poor plan. Every person
should learn to save at least a small
portion of their daily or yearly
earnings. This they can do by
proper management. They must 4
econoinise in their expetiditures.
They must deny themselves of such
luxuries as their income does not
justify. Every person, who has
ordinary intelligence and good
health, can earn something move
than a mere living. They can then
learn to lay by a little of their sir
plus earnings for a rainy-day.
These savings, judiciously investid
will soon begin to increase their
income, and will add additional
comforts to their former style of
living. When their income is sr-f
ficiently large, from their invest
ments, to justify it, 'good living' is
commendable, but wasteful extrava
gance is always wrong. Economy
is a "science," and yon must study
it well to know how to practice it.
There are plenty of people. who
would be poor with a pocket full ot'
money, so to speak; while there are
plenty of others who are "well off.'-.
with scarcely a cent in. their pock
ets. This is because the former
don't know how to manage. and the
latter do. The lesson of life is
learned from hard study and bitter
experience. but those who learn it
have their fortune made. Let every
one study these rules and we- are
sure that they will profit by it.
WnhERE THE RICH MAN WENT.
-A boy who, rejoiced in bare feet
six days of the week was compelled
by his mother to put on shoes when
hewent to church or Sunday-school
in a village a mile distant from- his :
home. No sooner, however, was he
out of maternal sight than he polled
off the heated leather box< s, because
they made his feet swell, and tying
them .together hy the string, threw
them over his sh%ulder and jogged
on barefooted, as usual. He was
soon overtaken by a rich neighbor
in a fine family wagon who asked
him to ride. The boy was bound for
the Baptist church and the wealtLy
farmer to the Presbyterian. Sling
ing his brogans under the seat he
enjoyed the proferred ride and was
set down at his own church, forget
ting his shoes, while the rich man
went on to his destination. In Sun
day-school the teacher- was prosy
and the boy got to sleep during the.e
lesson, which was on Lazarus and
the rich man. The teacher con'clu
ded his lecture on the lesson of the
lay with the question, "What be
ame of the rich man?'' The boy
oused up from his snooze just in
ime to answer, "He drove up to -
he Presbyterian church." "No,"
aswered the teacher, "he lifted up
is eves in hell." "No, he did'at,
ersisted the boy, "he went up to
he Presbyterian church, and -he's
ot my newr shoes under his wagon
HIE TOK TIHE HINT.-They were
sitting alone in the parlor when ghe
sweetly remarked :.
"George, dear, can you tell me
why it is that the course of true
love never ruris smoothly?"
"It does run smoothly, darling"
said George, passionately. "What
could be smoother than the course
of our true love?'
--And love is blind, is it not?'
she went on.
"Yes, love is said to be blind."
replied George, wondering what
she was trying to get at.
"Well, I can tell you why true lov e
never runs smoothly," and she look
ed at the lapel of his coat as though ~
she would like to go to sleep there.
"Love is blind, and instead of help
ing the blind it is considered the
proper thing to pull down the blind.
George acted upon this bint and
pulled down the blind. -PAiladeI
H EART-BROKEN BUT LEVEL-READ- ~
E.-A lawyer for a husband -who
is being sued for divorce had a
visit vesterday from the client.
The client is madly in love with his
wife and believes that she wishes to
be rid ofhim only to be free to
marry another. "I can't live with- '2
out her," he said to his legal advis
er, "and I am sure that'away down
in her heart she has 'slittle feeling --
for me. I- am going to test her.
He pulled out a pistbl and sid
"I am going to her with this ad
say: 'Here, sho6t me dowadd Xon't
care to live any~more."
"You had better not," sai 4h
cautions legal man; "she nih aif
"I don't care for that," rpl&
cars for that; I have filled the wesp.
en *Ith blak crdges1?
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