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By D. F. BRADLEY &CO0 PICKENS, S. C.v THURSDAY JNAY1
,qf 181 VO .- .- -N ,
Examination In Neditine.
By a Philadelphia Diploma Cheap
Examiner-Where is the stomach of
Student - Somewhere between the
crown of the head and he soles of the
"'Tie well. What is the principal
use of the stomach?"
"To run up board bills."
When is it proper to prolong oases of
SWhen the patient is able to pay
"Do you bleed?"
"The patient's pocket."
"Right. What is your favorite style
"Visiting each patient three times a
day, at five dollars per visit."
"What are indispensable adjuncts to a
good practice ?"
"S ectacles, a horse and buggy a
stylish residence, dignity, atid a fashon
able wife." g
"What are the best means of fostering
the growth of a small practice?"
"By hanging a large door-bell in
your house, which can be heard over the
entire neighborhood, and emtploying a
man to ring it occasionally at night."
"What are orthodox aids in securing
"Regular attendance at church, and
the employment of another man to rdsh
up the aisle during services, and call
you out every other Sunday." -
Ci Bono '
"True; but what's the calling and
ringing for ?"
"To dovelop the idea.abroad of a large
"What are necessary qualities in a
"To look wise, talk little, remain non
committal as to the nature of the dis asep
and impress on the friends of the patient
his critical condition. "
"What class of patients should be
encouraged in developing imaginary
"Women with nothing to do, and
plenty of monoy to do it with."
"Correct. You're bound to have an
extensive and proatable practice within
two years. Hore's your diploma.
T-wenty-five dollars, please. "-New York
"Good to Pull."
A number of ladies visited a New York
public school, and one of them thought
that she would question the tots, and see
how much they knew about the senses.
What were the eyes for?
Yes-and what would be the result if
we had no eyes? And she asked the
little ones to shut their eyes tight. Ay,
yes. They understood.
And then the ears. What wero they
Yes ; and now stop your ears up as
tighitly as you can. Ah i what a sad
thing it would be to have no ears. We
should never hear the birds sing any
more, and never more hear mamma's
And then came the nose. What was
Somehow the little ones seemed puz
zied at this point. About the eyes and
ears there had been no question--but
the ,nose? They looked up into the
lady's face curiously, evidently with an
answer ready, but not quite sure of be
ing right. Finally the questioner saw
an ielligent smile upon one chubby
little face-one of the four-year-olds
and she said to the child:
'"Ah, Miss Dot, you can tell me what
the nose is for, can't you ? Come, now
speak up. Don't be afraid. What is it ?"
A few-twists and puckers, and thenr'
with a wondrous sparkle of the great
"'Eb, -I dess its for mammna to tate
hold of to pull!"
'That close the examination for the day
- New York Palaces.
New York is marking the period of its
great prosperity by the production of
public and private buildings of vastly
advanced size, style and elegance. Fifth
P. avenue, above Fiftieth street, and the
borders of the park, are being lined
with houses, churches, hotels, libraries,
and other public buildings worthy of
the metropolis of the Western
World. Te prlvate dwellings -
in Paris they would call them
"hote's"-now being constructed on
apper Fifth avenue rival in costliness,
eleaneand luxurious comfort the
'anost noted of the modern private resi
iiences in the great capitals of Europe.
The Parisian badand walks through the
-grand avenues in the neighborhood of
the Arc de Triomphe and the Bois de
Boulogne, regarding with satisfaction
the uniformity of the private hotels in
that quarter as the perfection of archi
tecture. He has seen nothing finer :
there can be nothing finer. A stroll
through upper Fifth avenue would show
him that our millionaires, who are f amil-.
iar~ with the architectural magnificence
of the Old World in all its variety, do
not beliene that any established style is
final or eternal.
- 'The Vauderbilt. are spending enor.
nmotis stims in expesive Fifth avenue
buildings. They have illustrated that
many varieties of architecture can be
domesticated here, each adding to the
beauty and glory of our metropolis.
The four magnificent Vanderbilt dwell
ings are already numzbered among the
finest and most conspicuons architectural
ornatnents of Fifth avenue.--Nes York
"UNION IN sI3MM.x ir."
BY THOMAs D'AInY WeGE.
A man whose oorn was carried away
Before his eyes and whose oats and bay
Were iled up Into the landlord's cart
Looked towar his castle with sorrowfu'l heart.
" You seem" said he " so strong and grand,
Like a gin you overlook the land;
And a giant in stomach you sure nust be
That of all my crup can leave none to me.1
Quoth another-" Of such weak words what end T
Have you'any hope that the devil will mend,
Or the wolf let a kid escape his maw,
Or a landlord yield his right. at law I
"Let us go over to Rackrent Hall
By two and threes-it may befall,
As wisdom Is found In the multitude
Eoough of us might do the cause some good."
At first they went by twos and threes,
But Rackrent's lord they could not please;
And next they went In number a score,
But the case was even the same as before.
By fifties and hundreds they gathered then,
Resolute-patient, dogged men
And the landlord owned ihat he thought there was
Some slight defect In the present laws.
Then a barony spoke-a country woke
A nation struck at thoir feudal yoke
'Twas fouand the Right could not be withstood,
And-wisdom was found in the multitude I
IN A SHANTY.
"Mr. Alwade, this is Melth, the cook."
As old Mrs. Watson spoke thus briefly,
Wallace Alwade turned partly around,
facing the small, delicate woman, whi
stood but partially revealed in the shad
ows of the long, low-roofed shanty.
For one instant he stood gazing in
tently into the pale face of the timid,
retiring creature before him, then ex
tended his hand, with a polite bow and
pleasant word of greeting.
"Melth. the cook."
What a thrill shot through his heart at
the mention of the name. As their handi
clasped in the dim firelight, and he
gazed down into the pale face of the
shrinking figure before him, Wallace
Alwado's mind grow troubled.
That face, so thin and pale, with long
ing, regretful shadows lurking in the
violet eyes, touched a half-forgotten chord
.in his bachelor heart. It was but a
dreamy reflection of the past, however.
He remembered where he was, and
turned away without thinking deeply.
It was not likely that an almost forgotten
dream would meet with fruition in aplacp
like this, a lingy lumber shanty in the
heart of the great pine woods.
A minute later the jingle of sleigh
bells cut the frosty night air.
"Well, Mrs. Watson, I must be going,"
said the lumber dealer, turning toward
"Won't you stay all night, Mr. Al
"Impossible, my good woman. I have
important business to attend to in town.
I find that your husband is managing
affairs very well in the woods. I think I
can safely trust him to go on with the
"Tattlers' tongues to the contrary,
ehi?" returned the rosy-faced matron,
with a rippling laugh.
"Yes, the stoi'ies I have heard are all
false, Mrs. Watson. I shan't trouble
myself about these fying reports again,
"Thank you, Mr. Alwade. My hus
band shall know of your generosity."
"Facts are stubborn tings," returned
Alwade. "The job is progressing well
under Mr. Watson's management, and I
am only too glad to place the credit
where it bolongs."j
Thus speaking the rich lumberman
left the room and entered the sleigh that
stood waiting at the door.
Speeding over the glistening snow,
under the tall pines, with the keen 'win
ter air cutting like a knife, Walace Al
wade felt strangely invigorated after
contact with the close air of the lumber
That evening, after reaching his room,
Alwade found time for reflection. The
face of "Melth, the cook," pale, worn,
and timid, haunted him once more,
like the dim memory of a half-forgotten
dream. Why did he give the pale-faced
shanty cook a second thought ? Simply
because this was not the first time he
had seen that face. In pondering over
the subject, Alwade came suddenl into
full knowledge why he had been so
strangely affected at meeting Melth.
A vision of the long ago was before
him. He stood under the gaslight plead
ing for the love of as beautiful a girl as
the sun ever shone on. Hie could see
the haughty curl of the full red lips, see
the scornful flash of those violet eyes,
and even feel the sting of the words that
fell from the maiden's lips, refusing him,
laughing to scorn all his passionate plead
ings; and all because he was but a poor
Jaw student, without name or fortune in
the world. His hopes were crushed for
ever. He went our into the world with a
bitter pain in his heart, yet imable even
then to conque~r the love that had mas
tered him so utterly.
That was twelve years ago; twelve
painful years to WaliacA Alwade. Out
West, under the shadows of the Michi
gan pines, he had built up a fortune,
and stood one of the foremost men in
the strong, vigorous young State where
our story is located. For twelve years
he had heLard nothing of Meltha Bayne.
Was it-'Wonderful, then, that he failed to
recognize in "Melth, the cook," the self
willed, imperious beauty who had scorn
ed him in his youth.
After hours of thought he was not
fully satisfled. It could not be that
Melth& Baynelhad fallen so low as this, a
cook in 6ne of his logging shanties
That night thle face of Melth haunted
the rich lumberman, and at earliest dawn
he was once more seated behind his
magnificant bays speeding rapidly into
the great woods.
"Gone!" exclaimed the lumberman,
seemingly staggered at a sudded revela
"Yes. She must have slipped off in
the night some time," said Mrs. Watson,
looking her surprise at the strango inter
est her employer took in the little faded
cook. "It don't matter a great deal,
though," continued Mrs. Watson. "My
husband can hunt up another woman
Wallace Alwade stood warming his
hands by the fire.
"She went in the night, you say?"
"Yes. or very early this morning."
"Why did she go?"
"Perhaps she left some word, a note
"Not a thing."
"She must have been brave to dare a
cold winter's night for the sake of leaving
"It's queer, very queer," muttered the
woman. "Melth and I agreed perfectly.
I can't see what cause she had for
Alwade turned hurriedly to depart.
As he did so his eyes caught sight of a
white edge of paper peering from the
inner side of the door-casing. Drawing
it forth, he found a few lines hastily writ
"Mn. ALwADre-When I met you to-night I
knew that you were the one who once know
Meltha Ba ne under far different circuin
stances. I knew that you recognized mc, and
doubtless felt gratified inyour heart for the re
venge tiflie has wrought you. Of courso I can
not remain another day under this roof.
There was not the slightest clew in
this brief note to guide his steps. There
were but few settlers in the woods, how
ever, and he felt that it wouid be an easy
matter to discover the whereabouts of
the missing woman.
Once more outside, the winter air
touched his cheeks with icy fingers, and
a shudder convulsed his frame as he
thought of poor. little. helpless Meltha,
exposed to the cold under a pitiless win
ter sky, with no home, no place to lay
It was his duty to find her before night
and offer her a better situation than the
one she had but lately occupied.
A sudden snow-storm came up, which
soon filled the road, so that Alwade's
swift bays found it difficult to make any
thing but the slowest headway.
Down in fleecy billows the snow sifted
filling the air and covering the ground
The wind rose, whirling the snow up
against the pines in huge drifts. The
track was no longer visible.
Huae banks of snow blocked the way.
and the lumberman came suddenly to a
full knowledge of the fact that it would
soon be impossible for him to proceed.
"Ugh! what a fearful night we're hav
ing!" muttered the lumberman, as he
buttoned his great coat more closely, and
strove to peer ahead through the blind
ing storm. "Suppose Meltha hasn't
found a shelter?" The thought sent a
chill to his heart.
On and on the horses foundered, the
drifts growing deeper, the storm fiercer,
The wind rose to a gale, hurling the
snow in sheeted masses through the air,
while the gloom of approaching night
settled down upon the forest.
Aiwade consulted his watch in some
"So late?" he muttered. "I did not
think I was going at such a snail's pace.
Now I'm in a fix, to be sue"
*His horses, struggling in a deeper drift
than usual, came suddenly to a halt.
Alwade peered about him. The forest
looked strange and new to him. The
truth suddenly flashed upon his brain.
"I see; I've lost the inain road, some
how, and this is some 'one of the many
old logging tracks," mused the lumber
man, forgetting Meltha for the time,
under the difficulties of his own situation.
Night was setting in rapidly. The
storm still raged furiously. There was
no chance of finding the right road to
night. If this was a log-road, there must
be an end somewhere, and then he would
He touched his horses with the whip.
After several attempts, the noble ani
mals cleared the drift and moved slowly
The storm seemed to increase in fury
If he found no shelter soon, Alwade
feared for the consequences.
Peering anxiously ahead, a dark snow
capped pile met his straining vision.
The next minute his horses stood steam
ing beside a half-ruined log shanty.
It was almost dark now, but Alwade
quietly ulnhitched from the ontter, and
drove his team under the friendly shelter.
This had once been used for a barn.
Acros, the way, some rods ahead, was
the cook's shanty.
.Alwade found the door hanging on one
hinge, a portion of the shanty roof fallen
in, but this shelter was better than the
snow and storm outside.
He had matches in his pocket, and one
of these was quickly ignited. An old
bunk stood next the wall. Quickly de
molishing this, the lumberman soon had
a brisk fire in the long unused fire-place.
Removing is great coat, he stood
over the fie and warmed his hands,
thankful for his lucky escape from death
at the hands of the frost king.
The fire blazed up brightly, lighting
the room throughout.
"Good heaven!j what's this ?"
Wallace AMwood stood staring into the
corner of the room, where a human for'm
lay coiled upon the frozen ground.
Approaching, the humbermau stood
over the dark-robed figur~e stood and
gzdfor a minute, spell-fNound, into
Bonding down quickly, the stout man
gathered the light form in his arms and
bore it to the fire.
"Dead I" he groaned, as he gazed into
the rigid face.
To his great delight, he was soon re
warded with a groan, followed shortly
after by a sight of two great, frightened
"Meltha Bayne," he whispered softly.
"Where am I?" she answered.
"Safe, Meltha. Thank heaven for
sending me out of my road to-nght,"
said.Wallace Alwade, fervently.
An hour later Meltha Bayne was able
to sit up.
In a few brief words she related her
adventures of the past twenty hours.
She had wandered off from thie main
road and had traveled on many by-roads,
through snow and storm, finally coming
to the knowledge of the fact that she was
lost. Two hoars before she had found
this shanty, and tired and cold, she had
sank down to slumber, from which she
would never have waked, but for the
cominig of Alwade.
"Why did you leave Mrs. Watson,
"After meeting yon, I could not re
main," she said, simply.
"After meeting mo! Can it be that
you still hate me, Meltha ?"
Her violet eyes sought his face won
" Hate you, Mr. Alwade, I could never
do that. I could not bear to see you,
and know that you were gloating over
the revenge that time his wrought I
have hated myself many times for the
past in my life."
He seized her hand and bent a search
ing look into her thin, faded face.
" Meitha, I am content to let the past
lie buried. I am a lone old bachelor
rich and crusty, but T want a wife."
"Will you be that wife to me, Mel
"After my treatment of you, when-"
"Yes, after that."
"For pity's sake, Wallaco?" tears fill
ing the violet eyes.
" For love's sake, Meltla."
Tears fell from her eyes. He drew
her head to his broad breast, and scaled
the compact with a kiss.
The wealthy uniberman found the
wife, who presides over his house with
exquisite grace, in a shanty.
Absence of Mlind as a Sign of LncipiCit
The, Mcdica! and Surgical 1i1J)portCr
has some suggestions and statements in
the article below, which are of interest
and importance to a good many people:
- It is essential to skill that the muscles
of the body should work unconsciously,
but the noment they assert, far it were;
their independence of self-consciousness,
and prompt to the initiation of efforts
outside of what they have been taiuglit, IL
diseased condition is begun which we
call ''absence of mind." Such a hnbit
begins on little things, more generally
b~y an omissioni than a commissio)n.
'thinking of sometning else while dress
ing, a p~art of the toilet is overlooked,
the necktie is forgotten, the wrong coat
is put on and the hair is unkempt.
Soon, as the habit increases, absurd
and even harmful acts are committedl.
The collections of anecdotes are full of'
stories of such 'follies. We knowv of an
able young lawyer, who, instead of pour
ing a tonic from a bottle on his desk,
carefully emptied the ink from his ink
stand into a spoon and swallowed it,
Another, an ex-4ttorney general of the
United States, went on a~ fortnight trip
to attend an absorbing legal case. His
wife p~acked a half dozen shirts in his
portmanteau. On his return there was
no shirt visible. Pushing her inquiries,
she found that her husband had regulair
ly a clean shirt overy other day, but had
forgotten to take oft' the soiled one, andl
now returned worring the whole half
dozen I An authentic anecdote of the
great political economist, Adam Smith,
tells us that when called upon to sign a
contract, instead of writing his own
unm, he made an elaborate imitation of
the signature of the other party, which
had already been affixed.
Such incidents tenid to depreciato a
man, though p~erhaps unjustly, in the
opinion of those with whom he dloes buns
iness. They become also a grave annoy
ance to the individual himself. In a
sense they are mnental weaknesses, which,
pushed to a certain degree, pass into)
mental diseases. Senility and insanity
are not infrequently marked b~y auto
matic actions, carriedl out without theo
will or consciousness of the doer. The
Iabsent-minded one, like the sleep-walk
er, performns actions without thme knowl
edge of them, and neglecta duties which
are pressing. Justly, therefore, it is a
source of anxiety with every thoughtful
person when he finds himself falling into
this h~ad mental habit. It is usually
gradual in its oniset, stealing over one mn
moments of intensest occupation. Un
like other mind weaknesses it is not the
foe of the idle man so Tnuch as the busy
one. Yet habits of revery and day
dreaming may also bring it abont.
Those who feel this habitecreepin g over
them will do well to make an early and
special effort to resist it. It cani he
conquered by a habit of attention, and
by severe self-ehiding 'when the mind
yields to it.
A Difference In Value.
Rosseau, alluding to the kindness of
neighbors, says that, when his wife dieri,
every father in the neighborhood offered
to console him with one0 of his dlaughiters;
but a few weeks afterward, his cow hav
ing shared the same fate, no one ever
thought of replacing his loss by tihe offer
of another-.thereby proving the diff'erent
alue set upon their cows fnA'~ ehiulmn.
Speculations as to the Future Life.
Years ago, in the days of Bishop But
ler, very much stress was aid upon the
analogies in nature illustrating, and sup
porting the idea of a future life, and the
treatises then written were models of in
tellectual power and patient research. A
great impression was produced, not only
upon uneducated but educated minds.
Sinei that period science has progressed
with giant strides, and at every step has
so largely added to the list of striking
aialogies or incidental proofs, that the
illustrations of early date seem few in
number and dwarfed in proportion and
force. The idea of an unseen immaterial
existenco involves, also, the idea of un
seen activities and correspondence in the
rayless realm. The most stolid of us can
not fail to be impressed with the beauti
fil analogies whioh recent scientific dis
covery affords. Do we not every day
converso with unseen friends long dis
tances away, do we not r',cognize their
familiar voices, in homes separated from
us 'by rivers, woods, and mountains?
These voices come out of the darkness,
guided by a frail wiro which science pro
vides as a pathway. Even whenthe cur
tain of night is drawn about us the
voices are licard, and . we have not
the sliadow of a doubt of their integrity
And further, have we not analogies of
sight which startle us by their signifi
caneo? Is it not true that when abroad
we are open to the view of unseen ob
servers long distances from us, and our
every act and movement known? The
excellenco of optical instruments is such
that we have seen the motion of the lips
of persolns in conversation, while sitting
on a house balcony three miles distant,
the observed, of course, wholly uncon
seious of being seen by afy one. If our
friends in this life, dead to us (hidden as
they are by the shroud of space), can be
seen, and we can hear their voices, their
shouts of laughter, the words of the
hymns they sing, the cries of the little
ones in the mothers' arms, is it very ab
surd to anticipate a time when those
dead to is by the dissolution of the
body may, by some now unknown tole
phone, send us voices from a realm close
at hand, but hidden from our mortal
We have no proofs to offer that this
realm of the departed, this home of the
soul, iS close at hand, but it is certainly
more reasonabl and sensible to adopt
this hypothesis than the popular one of
a niateriml world or place, somewhere
afar off in the depths of space. One
view seems possile, the other absurd.
-Budton Journal of (Cliemistrq.
The Harmless, Useful Toad.
A. writer in the London Journal gives
some interesting statementr. respecting
the toad. in the matter of feeding, he
saIvs the toad is not very particulnr,
either as to quality or quantity. Any
thing that reeps or crawls will do for
him-wood lico, beetles, spiders, slugs,
worms, even snails with their shells, are
put out of sight as if by magic, for lie
has a plahr way of taking his5 prey. Hie
watches the moving insect for a second
or two, then, suddenly darting out his
tongue while at a distance of one or two'
inches, the iuseet is snatched up and
swallowed instantly. One evening he
gav-e one a wasp and a bumble-bee; both
were snapped up directly they comn
mnleedl to' move, apaenl without
causin g the toad the slightest discomfort,
thongh they must have reached his stomn
ach in a tolerab~ly active condition.
In phont-houses, especially forcing
houses, where insects increase their num
bers so rapidly at all seasons, the toad's
ser'vice(s are es'ipecially valuiable; and if a
sulitalo ladder, made of a narrow board
with bits of lath tacked on it two inches
apart, lhe set in a corner, slanting from
the floor to the stage, lhe will cimbni it,
and thus b~e enab~led to make himself still
But perhaps the most remarkable fact
(10n(ernling the toad is, that though he
can, and does, ont a great deal, he can
exist a long time without eating aniy
thing. Years ago he buried one for a
m~ont hi in the earth, as an experiment,
and whenu dug upi it was app~arently as
well as ever'. More~ recently, having been
bothered with myriads of wvood-lico in an
early enemnI~rher-house, and niot, being
a~ble to find( IA ads in February, he, later
on, whien they b~eeane plentiful, buried
three inI a niine-inchl pot, with a silate on
thme top, eight(en in'hies uinder' ground,
that he iuight have them handy for the
next early forcing season. But that sea
son3 ho did( not require them, so thicy re
mained 1)3urie'd until thme following one,
and were then, on beinig taken up, ap
par'ently not much thme worse for their
('ighte (en months' fast, though they
(din't have any ice-water or alcoholic
Bobby and the Plaster.
Bobby Ulin~kers was a Nevada boy,
and didn't want to go to school. He (lid
not p~ut in his appoarance at breakfast,
and about 9 o'clock his mother went up
to see what was the matter. Bob was
writhing about the bed from an imfpro
vised stomach-ache. "All right," said
the ol diady. "TIl apply a mustard plas
ter," and in a few minutes a hot mustard
plaster containing two square feet of
motive power wa spread upon the hoy's
abdomnen. '"Mother, how long must
thuis thing stay on?" "IJ guess I'll 1)e
able to take it off abouit 4 this afternoon,
aind then if I can get an emetic to work,
it'll be all right. Lie still, my boy, I'll
bring you through." Then Bob rose up
immnedliatLy and started for school, and
the plaster was the cause of his being
an hour late.
A 'OOD farmer ,is better than a pocg
dogtor, and a go~d horseshoer is better
than a Bishop who preaches sermon that
nobody wants to hea.---Roet nonl--r
HUXOB. OF THE DAY.
Tim man who drinks 'alf an' "af getd
IT is the flat who loves to have others
Maxy a broth of a boy has been re
duoed to a supe at the theatre.
A m" out in Nebraska died the other
day while blowing his nose. It was a
You can tell when a reporter is going
to make a point by the way he sharpeis
To remove superfluous hair-Send
your well filled mattress to be done over
by a cheap upholsterer.
Tan book agent knows be is solid
when he wipe his feet on a door mat in
which the word "Welcome" is woven.
OUT in the mines they shoot a man
who refuses to drink his soup straight
from the plate. -Emira F ree Press.
A DIsFIGURED man feels bad, of course,
about being marked for life; but when he
is marked for death he must feel worse.
AN exchange says: "Streams all over
the county are running dry." This is a
canard. \Vhen a stream is dry it can't
A LrTLE girl who was much petted
said: "I like sitting on gentlemen's
knees better than on ladies'; don't you,
OF forty cases on the docket of the
Fayette County (Texas) District Court,
nineteen are for divorce. Only twenty
WHEN Brutus and Cassius wore boys
the girls uised to siy that Brnte was such
a nice fellow, but they preferred Cash.
The girls haven't changed one bit.
"WrL you take 'em on the half shell ?"
asked the agreeable oyster opener.
"No," said the stranger, regardless of
ex)cns9e, "whole shell or nothing."
INDIONATION will fill the breast of every
artist when we state that two men wore
arrested in a lumber yard the other day
because they were'suspected of a design
MIsTn1r.ss- I 'Mary, fnis venerable goose
is tough enough to break one's teeth."
Maid'- "Yes'm; didn't you tell me,
ma'am, that you wanted it for aI piece de
OF a, miserly man who died of soften
ing of the brain, a local paper said: "His
head gave way, but his hand never did.
His brain .softened but his heart
A PROv1DENC. paper says a prominent
citizen of New flanipshiro died "of in
flammation of the bowels, aged forty-eight
yeare." Pretty old inflainmation, we
Two children in the Tulleries were ex
tolling the qualities of their respective
papas. "Nline is as tall as the garden
wall," said one. "My papa can seo
over the garden wall." "And mine, too,
when he has his hat on."
A WITNESs under cross-examination,
who had beeii tortured bly a lawvyer for
several hours, at last asked for aI glas of
water. ''There," said the Judge, "'I
think you'd better let the witness go
nlow, as you have pulfhpe)d him dry."
NATIVF. Alaskan ladies of fashion wear
entire suita mado of sealskin, drink whis
ky and eat whale's blubber; and they
are not a bit stuck uip about it, either.
There is a moral concealet in the busi
ness end of. this paragraph.
THE lato Rev. Dr. Sgmington, not feel
ing well one Sunday-morning, said to his
beadle, who was a "character:" "Man
Robert, I wish you wouldl preachI for me
to-dlay." "IJ canna do that," promptly
rep~lied Robert, "but I often pray for
"OLD woman, how do you sell beets?"
asked a loafer of an 'old vegetable woman
in the market, and she replied: "I just
tell 'em i'll trust 'em, andl then give 'eni
stuff that looks all right and ain't good
for nothing. They don't like the sell
A Sailor's Life at Sea.
In an article upon the general features
of a sailor's9 life, published in the Boston
'ommecrcial Buletins, the writer says:
After the pilot leaves the vessel at the
mouth of the harbor, the captain assumes
command, then ofilers and crew begin
to undlerstand each other. In olden
times it was customary for the crew and
officerB to make thiis day the decisive one
a to whe ther the officers or men wvere to
The most trifling act indicative of in
subordination on the part of the crew, or
the first harsh word from an officer, was
sufficient to throw. "all hands" into a
tumult-as the result of this fresh battle
determined the character of the rule
hroughiout the voyage. Heaven help
thme officers who are overwhelmed by the
turbullence of the crew in this, their first
encounter. For while the men dare not
openly disobey the orders from their of
ficjers, they will contrive to render their
obed~ience in such a mannier as to cause
their unfortunate mate the greatest
la4 a Man.
Foolish spendinN is the father of
poverty. Do not b)0 ashamed of hard
work. Work, but work for half price
rather than be idle. Beo your own master,
and do not let society or fashion swallow
you up individually-hat, coat and boots.
Do not eat up or wear out all you can
earn. Oamnpel youi selfish body to spare
something for profits saved. Be stingy
to your own appetite, but merciful for
others' necessities. Help others, and
ask not for yourselves. See that you are
proud, too. Let your prido be of the
right kind. Be too proud to be lazy; too
proud to give up without conquering
every difficulty; too proud to be nm com
pany that you cannotk keep up wVithin Ox
oenses- too proud to be atifly.