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V O . X I ,P I C K E N S , S . C ., T H U R S D A Y , J U L Y 2 , 1 8 .N . 4~
With jeweled fingers clasped as if in prayer
A woman qtends with white face wan an
And looks into the sky, dry-eyed and dum1
tho holds a lottot rumnpled in her hand,
The tel-talo nessago of a broken faith
And alt is dark wlereil befor4) was light.
All thin s are ohaugod; the woh is at a
And life is lost, for Love has como and gonc
There is agriof In life all desert-dry,
Whoro sorrow's raining tear-drops never fal
Where God himself is poworless to help,
And naught is left to live for but the grav
The gathering dust of crumbling years Ina
And settle on her brow in lines of gray,
But time can never heal this wound-be
To dio in youth and yet bo doomed to live
And walk the world in darkness, seokin
Oh! ye whose feet have trod this weary pat
Wiose wrecked and ruined lives line taie
tip Love's steep ominon oo-I p ray you tell
s not what mortals oell our life a death
When Love betrays us with a Judas kiss?
-Ernest McGofToy in the Current.
Young Henry Hayloid oxporienco
much diilloulty in finding, in his some
what contracted sphere of operations
a vocation which would yield a pleat
urable, not to say remunerative returr
One day, after having oxperimentoe
with quite a number of "callings," Ir
eluding a mild attempt in the pulpit
ho heard that a school teacher wa
greatly needed in a far removed dis
trict, known as "Panter Walk." H,
had bc.cun the study of veterinary sui
gory, it not being very much take
with the profession, he decided to go a
once to "Panter Walk" and begin th
much needed course of instruction. Ar
riving, he found a small lo, sehoo
houso sparsely supplied with"bonches
The farmers whom ho consulted agree
that a school was the very thing the
needed, but that no one could expet
much "of a showin' till artor the crop
was laid by." This was certainly dls
couraging, but as young Hayloid ha
nothing elso in view. ho decided t
stay and take his chances. Who
school opened, only two "scholars
made their appoarance, the famil
property of old Jim Socklaster. On
was a "gangling" boy, whose awl.
ward form and recklessness of gait ha
won hipn the appellation of "Windin
Blades." The girl, tall and with a dis
position to romp, was rather goot
lookin , and wore around her hair
blue ribbon-silken streak of civilizi
"And what is your nameP" aske
"They call me Wood, sir," she said
"Why did they give you such
"'Cause she growed so fast," intet
posed Windin' Blades.
As no other pupils came, Hayloi
decided to go ahoad regardless of nun
bers. It was with some trouble tha
the two students could be classified
Windin' Blades had only one book,
tattered copy of "Paradise Lost," c
which ho could not road a line, an
Weed had brought a work treating <
agriculture amccg the ancient Egy[
"Whero did you get these books?
asked the teacher.
"A tramp give 'em to us for a jug <
buttermilk," replied Windin' Blades.
"Can your father readP"
"lIe can road little books, but l
can't road one as big as this one."
"Your mother can doubtless read?
turning to the girl.
"She can't read now, but she usto
"Why can't she road now?"
"Because the book she learned t
road is dun lost. Hero comes pap."
Old man Socklaster entered, noddo
"Mornin' to you, mornini', sir. Gc
sorter slim prospeck."
"Yes, tile children don't appear toti
comin v;ery fast."
Old aidolastor was not disappointe
at the "slim prospeck." Ini fact ib
was rather pleased to noto what or
couragement, beyond his neighbori
he was giving to the cause of educa
"I reckin' you're goen' to go rigi
on with the undertakin' jes' the san
as if you had a whole passel
"Yes," said Hayloid. "I came he:
to teach, and so long as I can scu:
the attendance of a single pupil, I shr
continue to make my efforts in behn
"Glad to know it. You're the on
right sort of a teacher we've had
this community for some time."
"By the way, Mr. Socklastor, the
books whd( your children h ave boi
provided with are by no means a
"What's the matter with 'em."
"One treats of agriculture sever
thousand years ago, telling of woodi
plows and ox threshing machinos, t)
other is a book which only advanca
students can roadl and understand."
."Wall, the feller we got 'em of sa
they was good books, and hie's ano01(
man than you are. Better let 'em wc
r-y along with them books awhile, a
arter they've dun learnt all there Is
'em, w'y then I'll git some better ontC
Good day. Wush yrou mighty well wi
your undortakin'. '
Fortunately Hayloid had brought
fow books for boginnors. lie had
trouble in effecting an exchange, f
the bright pictures at once settledl t:
quost of their worth. Windin' Blai
and Weed had scarcely explored ti
mysteries of the allphabeot, bult thi
proved to be attentive, andi ovinc<
such a desire to learn that Hayloid d
not regret having commenced wi
"such slim prospeoks."
The teacher boarded in a quiet far
fly, where the sunlight that a litt
child brings is unkn own, where a do
old man and a knitting old woman s
down nightly to the oxp~loration
their own thoughts. All that Hlaylo
could get out of theoo1( man was "hal
.-with one hand behind his ear-and
the old lady seemed to drop a atit<
every timeo ho addressed her, she w
allowed to pursue an uniterrupt<
course of self investigation.
Windin' Blades and Weed, day 1
day, continuedi to be the only pupi
Corn was "laid by," and( farmers' be
had no particular work to perform, y
the census of the school remained t
same. To watchl thle development
Weed's mind1 was anl interesting stud
She was remarkably brighlt, and lear
ed with a readiness which surpris
Hayloid. Windin' Elados was, aft
all inclined to.be idle. He had a p
sion for carrying grasshoppers In his
pockets. Theso insects occupied his
entire time on the playground, and at
i last, after much oxperiment, ho sue
coedod in harnessing them to a diuin
utivo wagon which he had constructed.
The teacher remonstrated with him
n concerning this useless absorption, and
once ho spoke to his father, but the old
- man instead of being disploased smiled
until the tobacco juice ran out of th
corners of his mouth.
-.S "Lot him go," he replied. "I was
sorter o' that turn mysolf when I was e
boy, an' daddy allowed I wouldn't
r. amount to nothin', but artor a while I
turned out to be the best plow hand in
T the country."
Winter came, and still no other pu.
k, pils appeared. By the bright log fire,
while the snowstorm raged outside,
Hayloid found himself better contented
than he had ever been before, and hh
interest, instead of growing less, be
came greater. The teacher had at firsi
decided that he would not beg for pu
I pils, and on no occasion did ho ask th
-farmers to send their children. He
r, was treated politely, yet he could see
-. that the people of the neighborhood
cared nothing for his society, but as
I this indifference was mutual he spent
- very little timo in regret.
, One day Windin' Blades failed tc
s com, but Weed, with her face all
- aglow with healthful exercise, came as
o usual. When she had hung up her
homespun cloak, and shaken the snow
a from the bright hair, Ilayloid asked:
t "Where is your brother?"
o "Ho aiu't here."
"I see ho's not here, but where Is
I "Why didn't he come?"
y"Had to go to mill."
t "Wood, don't you think you are
s learning very rapidly?"
i "I don't think I ever saw anyone
make such progress. You have a fine
a order of mind, and I hope that after I
leave the neighborhood you will pursue
y your studios still."
e "You are not thinking about leaving
are you?" looking up with eyes in
I which thoro lurked shadows of sad.
"I shall not leave inimediately, but
I- in justice to myself I cannot remain hert
a much longer."
She twisted the flax home-made but
ton on her dross, and gazed fixedly in.
. to the roaring fire.
"Do you want me to stay heroP" he
a "Yes," twisting the button.
"But you know I cannot stay her
"No," she replied with bri'rhtouing
d eyes, "we cannot stay :uyworo al
t- w"ay.:. We have to die sometime."
t "Why, Weed, you are running ahead
1. of your studies. You have jumped
a from the fourth reader to an advanced
f book of philosophy."
dI She did not thoroughly comprohoud
>f his meaning, but she laughed and be.
- stowed on him a glance which forever
remained a pleasant memory.
"Do you, so fresh and vigorous, with
such bloom of perfect life, over think
f of dying?"
"Yes," she replied sadly, "my little
sister was the picturo of health, with
e more bloom than I have and with a
face so bright that everybody wanted
to kiss it, but she died. When they
said that she could not get well 1 did
r not believe them, but one morning,
when I went to the bed and found the
bloom all gone, I knew they had told
o inc the truth. Now I know that any
body can :lic and that the bloom doos
d not mear life, but many times means
t ieo looked at her in surp)risc. Ito had
taken groat pains to correct her Ian
e guaige, and had from day to day noted
her advancement; yet he was not pro.
d pared for the expression of such views,
e common enough with older people, but
L- rare with one so young.
i, "You are right, Weed. The rose
s- may be bright to-day, but to-night a
frost imay kill it; but we have wandered
t from our subject. What was I trying
LO to tell you, anywvay P"
af "A bout your going to leave."
"Oh, yes. You know that I can not
-o remain heror much longer. Vory few
*e men would have staid this long, but I,
11 have nothing to (o--"
If "And (lid you stay hero because yes
had nothing to (10?'
y"I don't exactly mean that. I mealn
nu that I could not have remained had
other business engagements pressed
m "But you wouldi not have come here
p.- had other engagemenits pressed you."
"You are d eveloping tact as well as
philosophy. Now, to tell you the truth,
al after staying hero threo days no busi.
m1 ness could have called me away. Only
so one porson couldl have influenced me
id to leave."
id "You, and you alone."
r "IIow could I have had any influ.
n' "You possess5 ant unconscious inllu
in once that is stronger tihan iron. If yetu
s. had said you did not want me to re
Lh main I should have gone away. I havc
studied your face cloaely, andi( I hlavc
a over seen, or fancied that I saw, kind.
10 ness and welcome in your eyes."
or "Isn't it time to take in school, Mr'.
Io "No, thoero is time for nothing but tc
10 tell you of imy deep love for you.
uy Wood, you ar(l the ca.so of my remain.
,d ing heure, I love yotu with a heart thai
id was- nlever before mlovedi."
Lh She had twisted off tile buttoun and
sat changing it from cite hand1( to thc
Io ''No woman, no mlatter hOW cuIlti.
af vated, could win my love from you.
at ''Doyou know why I learnted so fast?'
of she asked, dropping the button and
id clasping her hands.
Banoyou have a bright mind."
is "No, because I love yeou."
uh He caughlt her ia his arms and wa
s prossing her llp when01 Windin' B3ladou
d butrst into the room.
"Thar now," ho said, stopping ir
yamazemont. "Thar now, Mr. Hlayloid.
s. Donl't say nothia' more to me 'bow
ys kitchin' grasshoppersB. I'd rather b<
et kotch puttin' gear on grasshopperu
10 than to be ketch putt.in' my armn
of 'round a gal. Whoop!'' and W'indin
y. Blades, ini celebration of his conquest
n seized a bench log and bola'ored ti<
d writing table.
or "I'm goin' to tell pa on you, sir,'
' said the girL
"I'm goin' to tell him on you," again
whooping and striking the tablo.
"I don t see how anybody can study
when you're keeping up such a noise." ou
"Study, har yah, whoop!" and ho oc
raised a deafening din. "Wall," when wI
he had sufficiently commemorated his pr
discovery, "bolievo I'll go home of thar th4
ain't goin' to be no school," and before me
a protest could be made, Windin' ly
Blades had leaped from the door and ho
"Tiat was unfortunate," said Hay- bu
loid, "and I would give almost any- ha
thing if it could be recalled." vo
"Are you sorry that you told mo?" u
"Oh, no." se<
"Then you are sorry that-that you fui
tried to kiss me?" gr;
"No; for if some one had stopped in gr,
and shot me I should not have regret- tir
ted my action." i
"And you do love mo as truly as you th,
say you do?" m<
"Deeper than I can express, and I ito
want you to be my wife.' in+
"Don't you think that I am too much th4
of a child?" re:
"No, you are quite a woman. We m<
car study together, and your bright en
mind can blossom into a flower of bril- be
lianco and beauty." foi
They wore standing in front of the ha
"I will be your wife." sn
He took her in his arms, and was in me
the act of kissing her when old man od
Socklastor steppod into the room.
"hello!" Wall, by jinks, this is 'a ari
funny sort o' school." vi(
iayloid stammered an unintelligible va
"Sort o' kissin' school, an' I must by
say that If Wood has larnt as fast in as
that ar branch as she has in her books, th,
she's a might ap' scholard. Can't you ho
sorter 'splain yourse'f. mistor!" pr
"There is not much of an oxplana- is
tion to make, old gentleman," replied ha
the teacher. "I love your daughter sit
and she loves mo. I have asked her to an
be my wife, and she has-" all
"Told him that I am too young," in- of
terposod the blushing girl. ml
"Wall," said the old man in oxplo- mi
tivo, for ho could really say nothing, fu
and only said "wall" to gain time. is
"Wall,' I reckon that a gal what takes sic
so nachul to kissin' ain't much too ou
young to get married." or
"Did you meet Windin' Blades." hi
asked the girl. al
"No, I hain't seed him sense he left bu
home. Hero ho is. now." gr
"Pap, whut you reckon?"
"I reckon a good dual."
"Wall, Mr. Hlayloid has boon or kiss- fri
in' of Wood." so
"lie's got a right to kiss Wood. He's -pQ
goin' ter be yor brother." ()
"By marryin' Wood, Wall, I reckin 11
the school 'ud better break up for ter- 'C
day. Como an' we'll all go home. w1
Mur will be glad tor hear o' the 'gage- ch
mont, for she's mightily pleased with 1
Wood's laruiu'. A woLUan can go
through life er larnin', but airter a boy aL
gets to be bout 21 ho thinks ho knows eil
it all an' don't larn no more." gi
The old lady was indeed pleased to w]
boar of the engagement, and. she "tuck ev
such a likin' ter the young man" that ca
she opened the pear preserves which sil
which she had been saving for the ed
At night, while in contented half pc
circle they sat by the Iiro, iayloid re- cc
"It has over been a mystery to me of
why I did not have more pupils. I 11
was told that the people of this neigh- i
borhood wanted a school." is
The old man laughed. th
")ay after day," continued the fo:
teacher, "I expected to receive addi.-d
tional encouragement, but as you know tiC
I was diisappomnted. What kind of on
people0 have you in this country, any- th
"Fust-rato folks." tri
"They evidently do not care to see Ti
their children educated." l
"Oh, yas, they're mighty keen iur I.
"Then they certainly have a poor pc
opinion of my ability as a teacher." anf
"Ah, no; they think you're a mighty v~
smart man." br
"Well then, confound it, why didn't pr
they send their children to school" 01<
"I'm soon ter be yor daddy-in-law, .94
"An' yar won't think hard o' the ole or
man if lie tells yor a joke." p
''Of course not.'' er
"Well, when It was knowed that yar an
was comin' hero, I went 'roun' an' told ed
all the folks that yor owed me money co
an' wan't goen' to teach no chillun but ns
mine. They would or sent off an' got Ku
another toeher, but you see I rented ob
the school-house fur a year. Now" 1pr
and the old ,man laughed heartily, "PIll thi
go roun' an' explain. I'm pretty well;A
fixed, th ank yer, an' what i've got is
Henry and Weed now conduct one of
the most flourishing schools in Arkan- sti
saw, and old man Socklaster, itis said, na
has learned to write his own name.- th
Arkansaw Traveler. sti
Fifty years agro or so the commandl- thi
ing ollicor in Mairinzell had to sand a wi
report to his superior. Ho summons lic
for this purpose a subaltern. "Have th
you pen, ink and, paper?" "Yes, ba
your imier." "'Good. Now write, in,
M~ ariazell, the 13th; got that downP"' ca
"Yes, your Honor." "WVhat have you Lb
got?'" Mariazell, the 13th."' Good; go sh
on; October-got that down?'' ''Yes,j,
your honor.'' "What have you gotP" ye
''October.'' "Good; now road it all-"' m
"'Mariazell, the 13th October.'' "Pro- ar
coed; 1813---ot that down?" "'Yes, ul
your Hlonor." "What have you got?" ri;
''1813.'' "'Good; now ioad it all to- ge
gether." "'Marmuzoil, the 13th Octo- bei5
b5or, 1813." Well, now, lot's rest an o
hour or so."-icjendle Blauler- b
An 01(d and skilled New York physi- dc
elan, when interviewed on the hot b(
water craze, saidi: "It hans long boon pc
used(. It is ani internal wash; nothing th
more or less. Asa suce it is excellent. nc
An old trainer of priz -lighters used to ed
tell me about it before~ had oven heard ri,
of it elsewhere. Ho a dI lho had cured1
everything fromi tootha' he to~ rheuma- gt
tismn v,ith it. My lady?, patients often la
bog mon to proscribo it or them, and I de
very often do so; somot nes hecause I Ic(
think it likely to do gcid, and some- n<
times becauso I don't thi.nk it willl do jen
Life in the White Houmo,
the mansion has beautiful point
tside, and tho taste of its preson
aupant has made it very haudsoi
thin. But It is not suitable for
ivato residence and a public office n
) samo time. It would adnirabl
oet the purposO of either; it can hard
servo tho uses of both. Few kno\
w little availhnblo space there is in i
4 rooms aro large, some of vast sizc
t there are not many of them Thi
Us are wide, the corridors long, th
atibulos spacious. Four large apar
mnts are allotted to the nocessar
:rotarios, clerks, administrativ
ictionarlos of the government, telc
%ph operators and so forth. Tb
and reception room occupies the on
o east wing on the first floor; ti
allor reception room leads from i
3 stato banqueting hall Is an ono:
)um apartment. This loaves but lin
d space below for private needs, dih
g room and parlor. Upstairs, besid
rooms for government work, a
idy mentioned, there is an apar
nit devoted to the meetings of tl
binot, the library, and a state chan
r. There remain but live chain ber
the use of the family, which, if
ppens to be large, may overflow it
commodations, and must be vor
tall to allow a suitable entertain
mnt of guests, who cannot be receiv
In any number.
But these things, though bad onou g
3 not the worst, by any means. Th
tim in the White Houso has no pr
to life, to speak of. He belongs 1
3 Nation; he has been placed thei
the choice of the people, and the
umo the right to see him as often a
y feel inclined, which may be at an
ur in the day. The demand for li
osenco and service is incessant.
forgotten, apparontly, that the ma
s a personal as well as an ollici:
lo, that lie must be a geutleman no
d then, that he cannot be presider
the time, that he is not the propert
the community at large, that h
ist have his special friends, that 1
ist enjoy the human privilege of rc
sing the visits of strangers, that b
excusable for guarding against intri
n, and has no more responsibilil
tside of his oflicial duties than ti
dinary citizen has, who is lot alone
home, and is at liberty to nut th
airs of his 51o) behind himu, wht
siness is over. This ib no fancit
ievance. The president is a vo
sy man, full of cares, and neodir
ict, rest in the society of family<
ends, more than mo t, together wit
(hal amenities of a various kind. E
cially he needs to be for a part l
clh day taken out of thu associatior
h:is olice, and placed where h:
ind can 1)e refreshed by other co:
rns than those of the public. I
11 work better, more heartily, moi
cerfully, more eilectu-lly, far such
There are two ways of b ringir
out this most lesirable chanti
.her the present editico might I
ven over wholly to business, ft
icli it is admirably adapted, an
en now is none too large, in whic
so the president's house might 1
uated wherever convelilence proip
, at a distance from the buildin
at contained the otlice, where, by aJ
mntment, he woul tind himself :
rtain hours out of the twienty-fou
the business might be carried to a:
her part of the town, and the Whil
mUse be assigned to the president f<
private residence. The former plr
proferable for several reasons. I
u first place, the mansion is desigrne
e public p)urpose. No prval
elling offers such facilities for rece]
uns and dinners, which must be give
a grandl scale. In the next p)lac
o increasing business of the counti
11 be furthered by the aid to concei
ition that so large a mansion afford
ion the habits of the multitude wvl
ck to the house on practical orram(
11 not be Interrupted. Experiei
ows the difficulty, not to say the irs
ssibility, of breaking up such habit
d the removal of the president's pr
to house would rendet the effort
oak them up anecessary. TI
esont ampih.'oous arrangement, b
los being a public disgrace, is a si:
lar p)icco of foolishness in a cor
unity that prides itself on its goc
uso in getting out of the peoplo
1p)loys the utmost they are capuablo
rforming. The actual president
ipplled1 in his working faculty by t1
noyancos to which lie is new subjec
.A thick-skinned hpersoni may n
mplaini of this ceaseless notoriety,.
*y, may like it; but a sensitive i
List feel It keenly. Even to a casu
server the Invasion of individu
ivilego is exceedingly unpleasant
a cyc.--0. I. F"rothinyham& in Jw
1% First Lecsson in HIandHniJg a Gun.
The first thing to bo learned is
mnd properly. Plant both your fe
turally and lirrnhy on the groeund,
it the joints of your legrs are nteithr
ff' nor bent; then lean the~ upper pa
your body slightly forward. Gr
a gunstock just behind the cual
th the right hand, the fore-finm
htly touching the foremost trigge
at is, the trigger of the right-hart
rrol. Th'le stock of the gun, a fe
hes in front of the guard, must ro
sily in the hollow of the left hani
>1(d the muztzle of the gun upl at
inting away from von, so that ti
woer end of the butt is just lower thi'
ur right elbow. New, if both har:
er have been cooked, and you gent
d swiftly d raw the butt of the gi
to and against the hollowv of ti
ht shoulder, you will find yourself
od p)osition for takino aim, which
st dlone by keeping Got eyes wit
en, and( looking straight over the r
'twooni the barrels with the right cy
You will soon discover the trick
ring this, by fixing your aim wil
th eyes open, and then, holding
rfectly steadly, elosing the left eye;
o line of sight now changes, you ha'
t sighted correctly; if it remains fi
the aim has been taken with ti
lBe careful after lirin" not to set yet
n downi with the haxmmer up. Thl
the cause of many deplorable ac<
nts. To avoid accident you must 1
atantly on the alert and cautiou
>t overlooking oven the slightest pr
,ution.-Maurice TIhompson, in 6
c/oAni fo. .r.O
An Amateur Carpenter.
s In my opinion every professional
t man should koop a chest of carpenters'
o tools in his barn or shop and busy him.
i elf at odd hours with them In con
,t structing the varied articles that are
y always neoded about the house. Thore
is a groat deal of pleasure in fooling
v your own independence of other trades,
and most especially of the carpenter.
, Every now and then your wife will
a want a bracket put up in some cornoi
o or other, and with your now, bright
saw and glittering hammer you can pui
y up one Upon which she can hang a cast
o iron horse-blanket lambroeuiu, wit
. inflexible water lilies sowod in It.
o A man will, if he tries, readily leari
to do a great many such little thingi
o and his wife will brag on him to othei
,; ladies, and they will make invidiout
-comparisons between their husbands
who can't do anything of that kinc
- whatever, and you are "so handy."
o Firstly, you buy a set of amuatou
tools. You do not need to say tha
you are an amateur. The dealer wil
o find that out when you ask him for ar
easy-running broad axe or a groon-gagi
s plumb line. He will sell you a set o
, amateur's tools that will be made o
,y old shoot-iron with basswood handles,
and the saw will double up like a pioc<
of stove pipo.
After you have nailed a board on th<
fence successfully, you will very natur
ally desire to do something much bet
e ter, more difficult. You will probabl3
try to erect a parlor table or a rustic
o 1 made a very handsome bracket las1
week, and I was naturally proud of it,
s In fastening it together, if I hadn't in
y advertently nailed it to the barn floor,
s I guess I could have used it very well
[t but in tearin^ it loose from the barn
so that the two could be used separate
i1 IN, I ruined a bracket that was intend
y ed to serve as the base, as it w3re, 0:
a lambrequin which cost $9, asido froir
the time expended on it.
e During the month of March I buil1
o an ice-chest for this sunnner. It wa:
not handsome, but it was roomy, and
0 would be very nice for the season of
. 188.1, 1 thouoht. It worked prott3
well through Slarch and A1pril, but a:
the weather begins to warm up tha1
ice-chest is about the warmest plac<
e around the house. There is actualy s
n low of heat around that ice-chest thal
d I don't notice elsewhere. I've showr
y it to several personal friends. Tihey
seem to think it is not built tightly
enough for an ice-chest. My brothei
I looked at it yesterday, and aid thal
3. his idea of an ice-chest was tha: it ouhl
to be tight enough at leat to hold th<
larger chunks of ice so that they could
s not escape through th p! o:-es of the icc
. box. IIe said that he never built one
e but that it stood to reason that a re
. frigerator like that ought to I.o con
A structed so that it would keep the cow
out. You don't wart a refrigerato
that th-s cattle can get through th<
cracks and cat up your strawberries of
ice, l) says.
>. A neighbor of [nine who onco buil
d a hen resort of lacis, and now wears 1
h thick tliunmb-nail that looks like a Bra
zil nut as a iiemelito of that pullet cor
. ral, says ily ice-chest is all righ
enough, only that it is not suited t(
thiz climate. He thinks that alon;.
L1kering's Strait. diuing the holidays,
my ice-chest would work like a charm,
A nd eve ii here, he thougnt, if I coulc
o .eep the fever out of aiy chest, ther
would be less pain.
1 have made several other littlo arti
cles of vertu this spring, to the con
d struction of which I have contribute(
a good deal of time and two tingei
nils. I have also s awedl into my ber
I several times. Thke leg, of course, wif
a:et wvell, b)ut the pantaloons wvill not
Parties wising to meet me in my stu
die during the morning hour wvill turr
into thoe alloy between Eighth am
SNinth streets, enter the third stabi
ts door on the left, pass around my Goth
10I horse and give the countersign an<
Sthree kicks on the dloor in an ordinary
tone of voice.o.--ill Ny,c in Dcnve,
A Dentist, Takes a Mean Advantage
-A p)ract,ical joker of the sly order i
1- Dr. Henderson, a Brooklyn dentist
i- The Doctor (does not look unlike
d pious divine, and his mode of conduct
it ing himself. couplodl with a sanctimon
fious timbre of voice, completes tho dc
10 It Is said of the Doctor that durng
tdone of his exciting political camp~aigi
ho wvas hit in thme eye by a. prize-fighter
Hoe was, of course, too much of a gen
n tleeman to engage in a scrimmage whor1
i,l ho know the odds wore against him; s<
ml he quietly bided his time. Some months
olater the prize-fighter had a bad Loot!
and dlrolpe(d into the D)octor's oflice t<
hiive it pulled. The latter instantly re
cognizo d his assailant, but, did not be
tray his emotion;. By dint of eloquen
o prsuasion he Induced the prize-fighite
tto take lauighinig-gas, and when th(
ralliain had becomo unconscioua thi
rDoctor's old1-tim3o tire retuirnedl. llur
rying over to his 01(d friend, Prol
pWilliam Clark, lie borrowed a pair o
hel boxin -glovesi aind then returuing ti
rtime o me wn to wor'k at l a ri
d?When the latter awoke ho had tw<
hiandIsome black eyes, and his nose war
t bleeding with delightful freedom.
"Wnat is itP"' asked the prize fighter
~jwhen ho opened his eyes.
'"Keep poerfectly quiet,'" urged thc
nDoctor, concealing his boxing glove;
uinder the chair, "'you've fracturce
y yotur jugular.''
n Then hto put a cork in his patient'
omouth, ext.racted1 the tooth andi chirg
nlig him $2 for the job, advised him ti
sgo home and go to bedt at once.
The (looter ls always doing very fun
b ny things, but whenever ho sees tha
y, prize fighter he has to set dowvn fo:
yj about an hour ini some cool place anc
Ichuckle.--~Ncw York Journal.
S Bob S$wan, of Ottumiwa, Iowa, wh
s.urved as captain in the Th'irtoonth Ii
diana Infantry, appliiod for a ponsior
which was grantod. with $5i.280 bac
pay. Tio compl)eto thet proof his di;
r charge papers were wanited, but after
dliligrent search in the records the
cold( not be found, which remindle
0Bob that at the time his company wi
miistod ouit he was oni detailed dut
elsewhere and was evidenitly forgotter
Inasmuch as lie was never mustere
out he will draw $65,000 as cap)tain
nay n in itoae
WIT AND HUMOR.
All mon are born free and equal, but
do not remain so. Some desceud into
the maostrom of politics, and others
ascend into the upper air. of journal
It is a foolish girl who will ask her
lover which he likes best, beauty or
brains. No uattor which way ho
answers she is sure to get mad.-P'hil
Minister Sargent used to bo a prin
tor, and it is said that the cause of his
Berlin difficulty was on account of his
once having sot up Bismarck with a
An old lady was askod what sho
would (to with all the corn if it could
not be made into whisky. She replied:
"I would make it into starch to stillen
the backbono of the temperance poo
A Buffalo minister announces that
'"many pulpits aro now filled with
dulds." 1,1his may bo, but there aro
very few dudos in the pews. They stand
outside waiting for the pretty girls to
The late Mr. Maxwell, a wealthy
Milwaukee bruwer, left $500,000
"towarl the solution of the problem of
aerial navigation." This is what wo
call riches taking to thomsolvos winga,
-Lowl ('Cour icr.
A lewi'ton (Me.) man had boon in
prison ten years, and the first thing ho
(id on being set free, was to return a
borrowed umbrella. IIe was immedi
atoly sent. to an insane asylum.-Bur.
linyloa Fret- 'rc,s.
"And 'ow about the performers for
IIV latdy's to'ncert Wednesday next.?"
"O it'.; all right. Sir Gorgiuts! I've got
you six first violins, four sccond violins,
and---" "' ecofl violins ho hangedl
I'll 'avo mone but first fiddles pIerform
in:1: in my 'otuse!"---Lonlon Punch.
Iran't it curious to think that tho
sa:e citizen who may he hoard on club
ni;:hts bellowing forth the bacchanalian
iti:tv, "Landlord, fill the flowing
bowl," can softly croon his youngest to
sleep with the seductive molody,
"Ilush, my babe, lie still and slum.
li you don't believe this is the most
prosperous country in the world, just
notice carefully the marvelous and
cheering increase of veterans of the
11c.xiNc1ua war. We have an impression
that not less than half a hundred of
them land from every arriving cmi
it is estimattd from a statistical point
of view that loss of appetito among
you1ng peop!-) on accolunt of love
i' !uIly saves to thie country $100,0ou,
(1-. l'erlals so; but the expense of
t\.n 'i;!t :lnd fuel and caramnels
:,nt ice-cr:aun, on the same account, it
is estinmated, more than balances this
In Siam tht, women are agitating the
S=(;i,n of thLuir rriht . Thoy have
gon11 so far as to p'tition the King that
their husbands shall not pledge them
for gambling debts. The spoetacle of
lovely womlan being swept away in tho
maelstrom of a jack-pot or exposed to
the vicissitudo of a four flush is indeed
a sad one.
"I want to plreseIt Augustus with a
cane," said a young New York lady,
''hut i (lonl't know what size he wears.''
"What (it) you ni n b)y size?" was the
'luesI:na; "aro o:mes of difl'erc'tnt.
"Oh, ye., ard one has to be
car-efilr in sclot. ing themn. I shouldn't
like to svnd dear Augustus a cane with
a head hiir enou:h to choke him."
iouwi one has been selling the Lon
doll uhi uh Ilic"h pubth,li:hes the follow
ing paragraph: "' in New York the
latest fool ishI treak is for bald men to
paint their he:u ts as a part of their full
diress. At areecent, ente(rtai nment 01n0
individuals sealu was covered with a
carefully--pai nted hanttle piece, another
with a group of fisih an d sIhells, while a
third disprlayedi a copy of one of Mr.
in lFrench Algeria the work of ox
termirnatinig wild beasits is making rap
id p)rogress. Thie inmoreber killed, for
which rewardis wer*e paid by tihe gov
errnment, roeso frorm 6.17 raly in 1881 to
1,G36 in tihe followving ye(ar. Among
these the jackals figure for by far tIhe
larger p)roponrtin,i.i nmbering onl thre
total of the two years 1,969 out of 2,.
3031. lieshies these there were four
ins, six lionesses, 110 panthers and
"'Mrs. Cjaroline D ali, authoress, has
her Winter honme at, Georgetown, D.
(C." -Iosion GI'obc. Arnd ,Julia Moore,
tire pootess, is in Oshrkosh ; and Mai-y
Walker, the lawyeross, is in Washing
tori; Elizta P'inkney, the adivertiseress,
is dead(1; and Susan 1i. Anithory, tho,
workoress, is abroad, and we only hiavo
a sinigeress, a couple of painiterosses, ra
ridleress, arid several walkoresses to
make things cheerful for us at hiomo,.
Mabol---"It doces make me sick to
hoar people speak of dresses being cut
'in p)ircesse style.' '' EdAithi-"-'That is
stranige. Yotu must certainly have
heard the term~ very often ab)roadI as
welil as at Ihonic " Miabol--"'Yes, arid
I thought it all right until I became fat.*
miliar with Europo; butt nowv I know it
is alli nonsense. ' Edith--"'Why sO'
Mabel- "lecause pirncesses h aven't
"Whlat. has b)ecomo of our wonderful
crinmson sunsets, I worndr?" said T1om.
"WVhry,"' repliedi Laura, thonghtfully,
looking uip from the lhtzer, ''I supposo
they have all gone out of style. Every
thing is very quiet arnd elegant this
spirinig. I knew those winter sunsets
were too high-colored to last long.
They miighit do for the evening,"' she
said pr1osently, ini a r(rflectivo mood,
"bu)tt they wer*e too loud for the street."
Anid, bending over the dlescription of a
newv walking suit, she (lid not see Tonm,
fallen from hris chair, staring wildly at
her and p)ainftully gasping for breath.
"Oh, thro wickedness of thorm play.
actors!"' said a country aunt in town on
a visit, arid at thmat momenit boiling witH
indilgnationi. "'They make a laughing.
ntock of marriage by getting married
on the stago; they mnake bolieve miur
Idor arid shoot, and set fire to houses,
a tnd nrow if there ain't one of themn
acttually advertising for people to como
Iandi see him (lie on the stage. 0 no; 1
ain't mistaken. I read it with my own
eyes, 'Last mighit and1( farewell appear
anice of John McCullotugh.,' I supposo
theO doctora gave hiim up, and lie wants
to .uakn a han of --..~ th 1e
Militin, and Mobs.
In most riots the neoglect of a few
simple principles by uotli civil and
military authorities has caused most
of the bloodshed. The militia should
be assembled promptly. If this is do
layed, their armories may be surround
ed and their assemublago prevented.
Besides, the knowledge that troops are
in readiness strengthens the police and
intimidates the mob. 'I'hey should not
bo paraded until the last moment. Tho
bayonet and rifl are deadly weapons,
and not suited for mere peice work.
But as soon as there is dau;or of the
t policeo being overpowered the militia
should march to their aid, and thea all
t seutinentality should be dispensed
3 with. A mob is a gang of law-break
ors, with the criminal class coming to
the top as it gains power; and the very
existence of society depends upon its
being promptly put down. Half-way
measures are cruelty. Any militia of
r ficer who permits his men to be shot or
t stoned without resistanco deserves a
court-martial. A mob never appre
t ciates forbearance. Blank cartridges
I simply inspire them to fresh assaults.
f Firing in the air has the same oflect,
f bosides killing innocent peopl at a
distance. Volleys are seldom neces
t sary. To detail a few sharp-shooters
to pick off the loading aggressors is far
preferable. If the thrower of the first
- brick Is shot, as a rule no more will be
- thrown. Four shots at Cincinnati
which killed four leaders disp:orsed the
mob that attacked Powell's gun-store.
The same number fired with hike offret
would have scattered that which at
tacked the jail, if they had been the
first which had been fired by the
troops. It must be remembered tiiat
no troopis will stand being stoned or
being shot at without firing in return.
- If the officers wait too long (as was the
case in the Orange riots in New York),
some one is euro to fire without orders,
bringing on a general fire which un
necessarily destroys many lives. The
troops should not allow themselves bt t
Ibe besieged. Strong detach nt
should traverse the streets, aiding the
policc in dlispersing all crowds and in
clearinr the streets. The inlob, wlieni
mic brok.n, will never again collect.
If the militia are strong and well dis
iplined, and it is un(lel'stood distinctly
lat they will permit no trillini, their
:crc appearance is usually suniciem.
If their condition is such that the miob
do not fear them, many lives have to
be sacrificed beforo peace can be re
iorv(d.---"lTop)i-s of the Tim:l," ill l?..
Peter Cartwri.h v the 1name of a
well-knuown Mettodi:st pioneer. lie was
a sort of perc'rinating ligeon, who
flew over the ttiils 1111(1 svamps upon
his apostolic wings. I11 feared notii
ing, a:n( was ne strong a he wta= br:.ve.
At a certain camp-leeting lie go< into
trouble with a set of roughs who had
tried to break up the services. Maj. L.,
who was a prominent citizen, though
a great "sinner," i(Oltified1 hhnself
with the roughs, and, flying into a des
perate rage, said if lie thought Cart
wright would light him a duel he would
"Miajor,"' the preacher n.nswered, "if
you challenge me I will accept it."
"Well, sir, I dare you to mortal con
"All right, sir, I'll fight you. And,
sir, according to the laws of honor 1
Suppose it is my right to choose the
weapons with which we are to fig-ht."
'Certainly," the Major replied.
"WYell then, we will step over hero
into this lot and get a coull of corn
stalks. I think I can finish you with
..IThe Major waxed hotter. Ieoclenched
ihis fists and foamed with r.age, saying:
S"If I thought I could whip you 1 would
3 smite you in a minute."
.'"Yes, yes, Major,'" the militant mini
p. later assorted; but, thank God, you
rcan't whip me.; only don't you attempt
to strike me, for if you do, and the
devil gets into me, I shall give you the
worst wipig eou eyr got in all
-your lifo' That, ended It.
Another bully threatened to wi
the Rev. Cartwright, who answered,
"Sir, I never liko to livo in (dread. If
you really intend to whlipy me, comol(
and do it now."
T1hie bully continued his curses and
threats, and the minister jumpedl oIl
his horso, andl going to hiim, said,
''Look he're, you will have to whip me
as you threatened, or you will have to
stop) that cursing, 01r I will put you in
the river and haptize you in the name
of the devil, for surely you belong to
FThe bully repented, ai afterwards
Ibecame one of tihe p)reachecr's best
To Keep itailron<l Cars Coot.
T Iho F'rench raLilwaly authoritkes are
at present engagedl in a series of exper
iments from which, peorh)aps, our own
dlirectors might take some lints. \Vith
hot weather coming on, or ait least in
f the ordinary couirsoi of naturo exp)ectedf,
the probl em is now to keep the irailway
carriages cool. In France travelers
are packed very tight, and( most trains
go very slowly, and the authorities
have to arrango to deliver their human
cargoes at a (fistanlt terini with vital
ity net quite extinct. So they arc now
exorcised in seeking how to cool their
carriages. They hiavo gono 1as far 1as
India for sutggestions, and( the favorito
e xperOlimenOt is with itt kindt of punilkabl.
A long cyl inder~ run1s the Icingth of the
reef of thle calrriage, fturnishied w ithi
Ifans, set in mot ion by revoclvi ng th e
cylinder. A fter li mny system s tried,
th is seemis thie im ot praltticabile, andi
the only point in dispiute is how to get
t the motive force. The sur plus steam
e of the engine has been tried on one
.line, atnd on another a little arrange
m iont like at wvinill attached to (each
carriagc, the maotioni of the train caus
o ing the wings to revolve, while thme oc
-eupanits of ach carriag0 can regtulat(i
, or arrest the stream of~ air. Bot h sys..
k tomis are being tested, andI our comn
1- pais nieed onlhy take the benefit of
a these experiments anid adopJt the most
y tuccessful or the least costly.
sA gold watch belonging to John
.y IMoniniger, of Grinnoll, Iowa, which
.was carriedl away by a cyclone two
d yers go,has b)ec.n found by a neigh