OCR Interpretation


The Orangeburg news. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, May 25, 1867, Image 1

Image and text provided by University of South Carolina; Columbia, SC

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84026920/1867-05-25/ed-1/seq-1/

What is OCR?


Thumbnail for

(?. '? i ; ' ' ' | 1 1 ? ????? - i ? r ^~ ~ ' . 1, ... ?.>. ,..t, i it i _ _,, .
^IRST OUR HOMES; THEN OXJ? STATE; EIaNTAXjI/ST THE iN^TI?N; THESE CONSTITUTE OUR COUNTRY.
VOLUME 1. ' SATURDAY "MORNING, MAY 25, 1867. NUMBEr1%
TSE ORAiSf?EBURa NEWS.
PUBLISHED AT ORANGEBUltO, S. C
Every Saturday Morning.
SAMUEL DIBBLE, Editor.
CHARLES H. HALL, Publisher.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
One Copy for one year........ $2.00
H ?? " Six Month......... 1.00
t* ? ti Three . 60
Any one making up a CLUB of FIVE ANNUAL
SUBSCRIBERS will receive an extra, copy
FREE OF CHARGE.
:o:?
BATES OF ADVERTISING.
i Square 1st Insertion.,. $1.50
ti ?? 2\1 " . 76
A Square consists of 10 lines Brevier or ono inch
cf Advertising space.
Contract Advertisements inserted upon the most
liberal terms.
?:o:?
MARRIAGE and FUNERAL NOTICES, not ex
ic '.<ng one Square, inserted without charge.
?:o:?
. ??".Terms Cash In Advance. ^S3a
?-:o:?
For further particulars, apply to Mn. CiiAm.Ks II.
Ilii-t, or address
SAMUEL DIBBLE,
EniTon OnANOXDURO News.
Orangeburg, S..C.
fob 23* o . iy
PUBLIC OFFICERS.
ORANGEBURG DISTRICT.
*0nniNxnr?r. A. McMichncl.
Com mission rn. in Equitt?V. D. V. Jamison.
Cccbk or OovnT?Joseph F. Rebinson.
Sheriff?J. W. II. Dukes.
'Coromkb?C. B. Glover.
Tax Collectors.?Orange Parish.?P- W- Fairy.
? aiatllTcws Pfcrbh.? W. II. Dautzler. -
A?iT. Assessor U. S. REVESVE.t-aeorgo W. ]
?Sturgeon^
Aokst FOR Stamps, &c;?P. V. Dibblo.
Magistrates?Thomas P. Stokes, W. R. Trcad
"well, A. J. Gaskius, P. W. Fairy, David L. Connor,
J. II. Fehler, Levin Argoe, R. V. Dannelly,- E. A.
Trice, W. L. Ehney, J. D. Pricket, Samuel E. Moor
?r, C; B. Glover, E. C. Holman, P. C. Buy ok, F. M.
Waahaniakcr, D. O. TindalL
Commissioners to Appnova Skccrvtibb?J. G.
?V/annamakcr, James Stokes, D. R. Barton, Adam
Stroke, A. D. Frederick.
Cohmu9ioxf.1i! or Public BuiLUixus?Win. M.
Hutoott, Harpin Biggs, E. EzekicL. Joseph P. Huri
l?y, F. H. W. Briggmann.
Commissioners of Ro ads?Orange Parish?West
ley i looser, P. W. Fairy, Sumuol-M. Fairy, Samuel
0. Fair, F. Livingston, W. S. Riloy, Wcstlcy Culler,
IL C. Vfannamakcr, N. E. W, Sistrunk.'lfc Living
ston, James Stokes, J. D. Knotts, R. P. Ant ley, John
8. Bowman, J. L. Moorcr, W. C. Moss, Lewis Ga
rlolc, B. A. Yon, J. H. O'Cain, Ellison Connor, John'
Urodie, J. G. Guignard, Jacob Cooncr,. Georgo
Bj-rd, J. T. Jennings, David Dannelly.
CoMMis8iONEns of Roaos?St. Matthews Parish?
C. S. Darby, W. C. Hane, M. K. Holman, Andrew
rtonaer. S. A. Parlour, E. T. Shular, J. L. Parlour,
Qwen Shular, T. G. Shular, W. L. Tou, J. W. Sei
Urs, R. W. Bates, J. W. Borbour, Augustus Avin
ger, P. W; Avingcr, J. D. Zeigler, M. J. Keller, J.
C. Holman.
Commissioners of Free Schools?Orange Parish
David L. Connor, J. R. Milhous,* Henry N. Snell,
John Jordan, N. C. Whetstone, John Inabinct, Dr.
0. N. Bowman, Samuel Dibble.
Commission Kits of Frkk Schools?St. Matthu'ws
Parish?reter Buyck, J. H. Keller, Wcstley Housor,
John Riley, J. H. Folder, Adam Hobuan.
Post Offices in Ornngcfourg District.
offices. postmasters.
Orangeburg.;.Tunddcus C. Hubbcll.
fit, Matthews.Mrs. Sally J. Wiles. ,
Vance's Ferry.:.lt. M. E. Avingcr. ?
Branchville.;...Mrs. Amy Thompson."
Sort Motte.John Dirohmorc ?
Schedule South Carolina Rail Road.
Doi?n Passenger.
Leave Columbia at. 6.30 A. M* and 11.40 A. Ml
" Orangeburg at... 10.89 A. M.*and 8.08 P.M.
Arrive at Charleston.... 4 P. M.
. '* ?? Angusta. 6 P. M. and II P. M.
Up Passenger.
Leave Augusta at.7 A. M. and 0.30 P. M.
" Charleston at.8 A. M.
'?. Oraagoburg at.1.80 P. M. and 11.66 P. M.
Arrive at Columbia at.6.20 P. M. and 8.22 A. M.
Down Freight. .
Loav? Orangeburg at.10 A.M.
Arrive, at Charleston at. 0.10 P. M.
Up Freight.
Leave Orangeburg at.1.88 P. M.
Arrive at Columbia at.0.80 P. M.
*This is the only Passenger Train for Charleston
ftttd -Points below Branchville- For tho Augusta
Road Passengers may take either Train.
/ mar 28 g .to
POETRY.
My Life Is Like the Summer Kose.
by noN. mciiAnn iiknry wm.dk.
My lifo in iiko the summer rose
That opens to tlio morning sky,
But, ere the shades of evening clogo,
Is scattered on the ground?todio!
Yet on that rose's humblo bed
The sweetest dews of night are shed,
As if sho wopt tho waste to sec?
But nono shall weep a tear for uro.
My life is like the autumn leaf
That trembles in tho moon s pale ray;"'
Its hold is frail?its dato is brief,
Restless and soon to pass away ;
Yet, cro that leaf shall fall and fudo,
The parent tree will mourn its shade, ?
The winds bewail the leafless tree?
But nono shall breathe a sigh for me!
My life is like the prints, which feet
Have left on Tampa's desert strand ;
Sooft us the rising tide shall beut,
All trace will vanish from the sand;
Yet, ns if grieving to elfucc
All vestigo of the human race,
Guthat lone shore loud moans the sen?
But none, alas I shall mourn for me!
Death of Richard Henry Wilde.
BY IKIX. A. It. MEEK.
The hnrp that sang ??the Summer Rose,"
hi strains so sweetly ami so well,
Thnt, soft as dews tit evening's close,
The pure and liquid numbers fell.
Is hushed and shattered! now no more
Its silvery chords their music pour,
But, crusiicd by an untimely blow,
Both harp and flower in dust lie low!
The bard?alas! I knew him well?
A noble, generous, gentle heart,
Which, as his brave hand struck the shell.
Poured feelings through the veins of art.
What radiant beauty round Ids lyre,
Pure us Ids loved Italian fire!
He caught tho sweetest beams of rhyme?
The Tusso of bur Western clinic! ^
Nor this alone; a loftier power,
That shone in halls of high degree,
And strayed the fecliug.s of I lie hour,
j\s suuinicr.wlbda iltlrTrlpplB<t'Kcn>-- -?- -
Bright eloquence ! to him was given?
^. That spark tho prophet drew from heaven!
It touched his lips with patriot name,
And shod n halo round his name.
Bard of the South! the ??Summer Rose,"
May perish with the "autumnal leaf,"
The "footprints left on Tampa's" shores
Maj' vanish witli n dato as brief;
But thine shall bo tjio "life" of fame?
No winter winds can wreck tho name ;
And futuro minstrels shall rchcarso
Thy virtues' in memorial verse J
ORIGINAL N0UVELETTE.
[Composed Expressly for the Orangeburg News.]
Woodland Heights.
A ROMANCE OF THE
X> .A. Y S O IF i G 5.
hv taysan.
(ConchuM.)
OH Ar. VIII.
'?Auspicious Hope, in thy swcot garden grow
Wreaths for euch toil, a charm for every woe."
Let ub revert once more to Wallace Tiinrod.
We fiud him' at Dr. Thrnsmns', still living;
and sanguine hopes cntortaincd of his final re
covery. He has been well treated, both pro
fcssict'dlly and socially. Iiis wound is begin
ning - to heal, and- ho is about to prove the
rara ".one out of a-thousand" cases of the kind,
jib survive aud recover. His friends and rela
tives, however, have heard nothing of hiin
since the war, and suppose him dead. 'All
communications have been destroyed, and there
is no possible chance for him to get a better
home. Oh ! that he could get just one line to
Mary Adir, to let her kuow that he is still liv
ing?one line, that she might know that ho is
the same unchanged, devoted quo as -in days
gone by.
Again we change the scene, and pass over a
short' interval of time. Spring and suwincr
have passed away. Antutnn too, has bestowed
his treasures upon mankind, and doffed his rus
sot gnrb. Winter with his bleak cloak holds
sway. Instead of the bright sunshine, dark
clouds envelope tho skios, whose dropping
floe jo Hproads a white covering over tho vul
loysuud.plains. Mary Adir is standing on the
door-step of her home at Woodland Heights,
watching tho falling snow-flakes, as they sweep
through the air like white rose-loavcs scattered
in the wind. Tho ruddy glow of. wint'or has
criinsoncu'her chock,; and again she looks lik?
hor .'former'self. Three weeks from that hour,
she and Tont Williland'arc to be married. The
thought fills her soul with dread. How cold
how unnatural will bo the uuion I But she is
plighted?'not to love, reader-1?b?t to honor?
and sho would rather sacrifice happiness than
this. Oh 1 that she could recall that insensate
interview, in which sbo had giyou an involun
tary assent to that, which sho would givo
worlds if sho had declined. But, alas 1 it is
too late.
"She has set ho'r life "upon a oust,
And must stand the hazard of the die.*'
It was her own fault, nobody to blame but
herself. She had coiuutittcd herself to a tacit
engagement, and must yield to the ?weakness
upon which it was based. ?'Then away, ye
fruitless wishes," sho said mentally, us she
turned and entered the door of the parlor, for
the cold had begun to chill her.
A nice little fii"e, whose crackling fagots
seemed to try and cheer her ponsiveucss, greeted
her presence. Taking a scat near, she fixed
her eyes upon the yellow flames, and relapsed
into sadness again.
In ths midst of this solitude, u rap at the'
door Announced the presence of some oncf
supposing it to be a servant, she exclaimed?
?'Come iu."
A form rushed in?a glance, und then n
startled gaze, whose wildness the presence of a
ghost could not have heightened, indicated her
amazement. Was it an astounding truth? or
was it only a phantom 'f One inclination to
embrace it?another to shrink back from it,
kept her bound like un immovable statue, until
the near approach of Wallace Thnrod, with
the frank and open manner of former days,
proved to her the truth and reality of "his pre
sence, aud that be was to her the same as her
Wallace of old; und she fell into his out
stretched arms, and wept.
AVord.s cannot depict, with justico, that hup
p)' meeting. Sufiioc it to say. that, after mu?
tunl questions and explanations, the mystery
was explained,?the author of her misery was.
now seen through the dark shades of his cha
racter?his persuasive eloquence and winning
love-talk, never greatly admired, was now rc-j
garded with loathing, as the dissimulation of an.
"impostor. She bad been ensnared by the artii
ful and cunning Tom Willilytnd. jj
?Oh! SVall.iv.v,,M sue exelai'moU, in "a Isuil^
dued tone, "I have been deceived,?basely de
ceived. The dupe of my own weakness, the
victim of a most cruel fate, the object of a
most shameful design, L am plighted, Wallace,
plighted to Tom Williland. But 1 am unde
ceived now?three weeks from to-day we would
have been married. Here is the cause, the.
ouco mysterious cause of liiy apparent unfaith
fulness," she is claimed, as she bunded him the
forged letter.
As he read his face became paler, aud his
glance r. oro fierce. As the end approached
his paleiicss succeeded to a burning glow upon
his check, which told, that indignation and
vengeance were racking bis brain. After be
had finished, he tore the paper into a thousand
pieces, and the play of passion over bis fea
tures showed plainer than words could express,
the ycariiitig for revenge. Rising to leave, he.
said half fondly and " passionately???Mamie,!
darling, you arc mine !"
'?Oh! Wallace hear mo just once"?ex-(
claimed Mary, excitedly reading from bis coun
tenance bis purpose of vengeance.
t;T have seen and heard too much already"?I
be said wildly?"there is but one cxpntiationl
that will satisfy this wounded pride?this im
posture of a base spirit !"
'?'Oh ! Wallace, be calm," s^id Mary, trying'
to subdue her own excitement?"you will act]
rashly and take the life of Tom Williland, and
the law will,?will require yours in return."
"Fear not for inc. dearest," said Wallace, aud
tore himself away from her presence.
CHAP. IX.
"I've ariris. and friends, and vengeance near."
Hurrying at once to Mr. Craven's he sought
Earnest Sinclair Craven, bis most confidential
friend, and brother of Kate, whom be had seen
just before his interview with Mary Adir j ex
plained to him the treachery of Williland; and
asked his assistance in this extremity. He
then wrote a challenge, alleging the causes
which prompted such a course, and demanding
an immediate choice of weapons and appoint
ment of place; and K?mest bore it at oucc to
Tom Williland.
A coward might have shown fear at this un
expected demand for revenge. But Tom Wil
liland was no coward. Although his counten
ance grew somewhat livid upon the reading of
the challenge, which was to him tho first inti
mation of Wallace's return, and the failure of
?his own base designs, and bis eyes quailed for
on instant only ; yet a second reading seemed
to gain for him pew courage, and he expressed
bis willingness to accept the challenge.
Pistols wcro the weapons chosen, and ten
paces tho interval. Ten o'clock the next day
was tho hour appointed, and (jemote Kerry the
location.
Both parties lay down at the usual hour of
retiring' on the precceding night, and ?lept
soundly until the next morning. At tho ap
pointed hour the principals with. their seconds
and physicians were at tho scene, that was to
test mental and physical courage. The dis
tance was marked off, tho pistols loaded, and
tho principals of this deadly experiment for
4ear life,'stationed opposite each other. Tho
seconds took their positions.
An imposing solemnity was only heightened
by the stillness of the hour. Not a branch
moved?not. a breeze stirred. All was silence,
solemn stillness, until the precautionary com
mand "ready," was given. The principals
turned upon their heels and were urrayed face
to face in the avenging jaws of death. ''Aim,
?n>?one, two"?and tho simultaneous dis
charge of two pistols proclaimed the decision.
Tom Williland fell.
"Shot?"
"Yes !" the surgeon announced "through the
lings."
In twenty minutes he died.
, During the interim between his mortal
found and death, he requested Wallaco Titu
iod's presence by bis side, and in that contrite
slate, which the approach of death generally
brings about, in the la?t moments of life, he
confessed his error?tho abuse he made of
Wallace Timrod's absence, and prayed forgive*
nes
T
"Tell Mary Adir," said he, "that I have met ]
a just fate, but ask her in the name of God to
forgive me." Tears trickled down the cheeks
of. Wallace Timrod,nnd in sobs of lamentation,
he extended to the dying penitent his hand in
token of forgiveness.
CHAD. X.
"The wars nrc over,
The spring is cuinc,
Tlie bride and her lover
IInvc sought their home:
J&S They nrc hnppy, we rejoice;
V. Let their hearts have an echo in every voice."
i\:How soon the world forgets! Only two
months have passed, since the fatal affray be
tfreou Wallace Timrod and Tom Williland.
Tho latter is remembered, only as the recital of
/y?me incident connected with his life or death
|^r^S5^u'*? him to tho mind.
The shades of sadness caused by his prema
ture death, have vanished. Anticipations of
gaycty and pleusuro have expelled tho gloom;
and Woodbind Heights is undergoing a
thorough refitment.
All within is hurry and bustle. Chairs arc
being set to their places, and tables arranged.
Btsy voices of persons passing and ropuesing
indicate an unusual confusion in those once si
lent halls.
A busy troupe of bridesmaids in an ante
chamber are discussing and arranging their
toilets. Festoons of evergreens, bedecked
with artificial flowers are suspended in the par
lor and over the door-facings, in token of the
coming event.
One by one tho invited guests are dropping
in. Mary Adir, in her white silken robe is
standing before a mirror arranging her raven
hair as the last preliminary preparation for
that exciting, yet longed-for' event, that is to
decide her fate for weal or for woe.
Twilight spreads its mantle o'er the scene.
The minister has arrived, and Mary Adir with
Wallace Timrod trips through the dense crowd
to the sacred altar of matrimony. The solemn
ceremony is performed, and they are pro
nounced man and wife.
Yes ! the book is closed. I'crhaps, hereaf
ter the indifferent will never have interest
enough to read, and to the envious it will
never open.
The difficulties, the misfortunes and trying
ordeals through which they have passed, are
now forgotten ; and the future, a smooth and
brilliant future, whose vista opens to their con
templative gaze, prospects of unchanging love
and earthly happiness, has eclipsed the sad re
uiinisccnHCS of the past, and heightened the
beauty of the bud of promise, which, in the
sunshine of love, is just now opening in per
spective its bright petals before them.
M 1 S C K Ii Ii A N H O II S .
A Parable for Business Men.
There was ouco upon a time a man who kept
a store and sold goods wholesale and retail.
And became melancholy, because customers
were shy and times hard.
And he said: Lo! I ant ruined and the
sensation is disagrealde.
And my ruin is the more painful to bear be
cause it is slow in progress, even as water doth
gradually boconid hotter in tho pot wheroiu
the lobster boilcth, until the crustaceous crea
j hire ehrieketh out his soul in anguish.
Lo! It is better to bo ruined quickly than
[to onduro this slow torture.
I will give my money away to the poor man
|L?cvon to the poorest, which is ho who printeth
newspapers, and I will shut up my shop and
wrap myself in sack-cloth of desolation, and
pass my days in the perilous or broken banks,
cursing the Hardness of the times and rending
my garments.
And tho howling of Rome shall be as dulcet
sounds of dulcimers, and they who blow the
flutes and instrumenta of music, compared to
tho din, I will make in the ear of the wicked?
even in the ears of the bank directors.
And oven as he said, so he did; for ho was
not like other men's sons who arc foolish and
know it not, and say they will do so and so,
performing that which is contrary.
For the sonB of men nro fickle, and he that
is born of a woman doth spite his faco Ly di
minishing the length of tho nose thereof.
And)lo! the printer?Hiven ho who publishcth
newspapers? was made glad by the bounty of
him who sold wholesale and retail; and he did
sound his praises and print them moreover;
aud did blow his trumpet of fame respecting
that man's dealing from the rising of the sun
even to the going down ?f the same.
And be?even the printer of papers?did
magnify and enlarge upon the stock of goods
which tho trader had in store, and did publish
tho variety and the excellence, and the new
ness and the beauty, and the cheapness thereof,
till the people?yes ! all of them far and near,
were amazed.
And they said lo ! this man hath gathered
fron? the cast and west costly merchandise and
wares of wondrous value?even tho workman
ship of cunning artificers?and we knew it
not.
Go to, then. We will lay out our silvor and
gold in these things which tho printer printed
of, aud that which he doth publish shall be
ours. For this man's merchandise is better
(bau the bank notes of those who promise to
pay, and therein lie, even banks of deposit,
which beguile us of our money and swindle us
like sin.
But the trader was still sad, and he said, the
money that these people bring inc for the goodSj
in my store I will give to the printer, and thus
will I ruin myself; I will do that which no
man bath done in time.or before. I will make
the printer man, whom all men scorn for his
poverty, rich, and he shall be clad in fine linen
and rejoice.
Aud the sons of men shall meet him in tho
market place, and the sheriff* shall shun him,
and the scoffers shall be rebuked and shall take
off their hats to him that was poor.
And be shall flash the dollars iu the eyes of
| the foolish, and shall cat bank note suudwiches.
? -'Yes, even shall he light his pipe with rail
road scrip, and cast bis spittle on the beards ofl
other men.
For I shall ruiu myself, aud be who adver
tises inc shall enjoy my substance.
But, lo ! the trading man?even he who sold
merchandise became rich; aud even as tho un
clean beast lictli in the mire, so stirred he not
by reason of much gold.
And tho people flocked to his store from
the North, and from the South, and from the
Fast, and from tho West.
And the priuter rejoiced, and his "phnt"
did abound.
But the trader could not become poor, and
bis melancholy ceased, and the smiles of happi
ness were upon his face.
And his children did become mighty in the
land by reason of tho dollars which many of
tho people who read his advertisements had
poured into the trader's money bags.
\Jt\D\sh Paper.
F?n the Ladies.?As the season for wear
ing light colored fabrics is approaching, the
following method of preserving the colors in
washiug these materials will be of interest. It
i"? from a lady correspondent of an . exchange,
who says she has never known it to fail:
"I herewith send you an oxccllcnt method
for washing dresses of printed muslins, lawns,
&e., so as to preserve colors, whether the
pattern be printed in black or variega
ted hues. The dress should bo washed in
lather, and uot by applying the soap in the
usual way?direct upon the muslin. Make a
lather by boiling some soap aud water together;
let it stand until it is sufficiently cool to use,
and previously to putting the. dress into it,
throw in a handful of salt; rinse tho dress
without wringing it, iu clear, cold water, into
which a little salt has been thrown; remove it
and rinse it in a fresh supply of clear water
and salt. Then wring the dress in a cloth and
hang it to dry immediately, spreading as open
as possible, so as to prevent ouo part lying over
another.- Should there be any white iu tho
' attcrn, mix a little blue in the water."
tints to YoUNO Men.?Have always a
go. I book within your roach, which you may
catch up at your odd minutes : u singlc thought
made your own may bo an invaluable treasure
to you, and give color to your wholo lifo. Fif
teen minutes n day saved in this way will give
you, in one year, a fund of valuablo informa
tion, which no young man of enterprise can
afford to spare; and how much may thus be ac
complished in a lifetime who can tell'( a
HUMOROUS .
Conuu?runis.
Why is a lady of fashion like ft success ful ;
sportsman? Because sho bags the hair (/mrr).
Why is a husband liko a Mississippi nt cam
boat ? Because he never knows when he may
get a blowing up.
When is a lover like a tailor? Wrbon ho
presses his suit
Why are hot buckwheat-cakes like a cater
pillar? Because they are the "grub" that
makes the butter fly. ..' ?.
Why is it that thef moment of popping the
question is so terrible to young ' fellows thnt
they, frequently cannot ?utter a word ? Be
cause just then they love tho fair one beyond
expression. . .
Why is an accepted suitor liko a person *
guilty of crime ? Becauso ho ought to be
transported.
Why is a man who beats hts Wife like an
exquisitely formed dog. Because he is a per
fect brute.
Why does a salmon die before it lives ? ^Be
cause its existence is or? before it coincs to
Wrhat do cats have which no other naimal
has? Kittens. g
What is worse than raining pitchforks ?
Hailing omnibuses. 4 ' *
Why is a man with a curved spine like a .
a house with a rear piazza? Because he has a
j back stoop.
Shorgc, why, is the James River like a keg
of lager beer? Because they both flow ioto .
Butch Gap Canal. .:
Getting Maruied.?A loafer, who had
been noisy, was up before the Mayor's court;
His honor told him to pay over five dollars for
his fine.
"C-c-c-can't do it," muttered he; "a-a-ain't -
got tho p-p-pewtcr."
"Are you a married man ?" inquired the
Mayor.
"N-n-n-not exactly so f-f-far gone yet," sir.',
"Well, I will have to send you to the work
house." .
"T-t-t-taiu't nothiit' to g-g-go there," said
Alick j "b-b-but when you t-t-talked about
m-m-raarriagc, old fellow, you f-f-rightened '
Political.?"I say, you Sam Johusing,
does j'ou know anything about dis woman, Fol
\ ly Ticks, dat white folks talk so much nbout ?"
"Well, 'I .doesn't. You are too hnrd'for dis
child dis time." "Why, Sam, I tort you
knowed ebcry tiug." "So I doz. . I knows
Polly Jones, what sells coffeo in do wegctable
market, and I kuows Polly Tomson, what docs
gwyin out to day's work up in Canal Street;
but when it comes to Polly Ticks, I'm hodercd.
Guess you'd better ax white folks, Petoj doy
rjcer to know all about her."
A Boctor was summoned to a cottage at Har
wood, in England, and fouud a boy in need of
his services.
"Show your tongue," said the doctor.
The boy stared like an owl.
"My good boy, let mc sco your tongue," re
peated the doctor. ,
"Talk English, doctor," said the mother,
and then, turning to her son, said, "H?pen thy
gobbler, and push out thy lolliker."
The mouth flew open, and the doctor was
torriblv."taken in." - *
For tiie Benefit op the Ueus.?When
Br. Franklin was agent in England, in 1771,
one of tho ministry inquired of him what
would satisfy tho Colonies. He answered thnt
it might. bo comprised in a few lies (the latin
for things.?El>.), and sat down, and wrote as
follows: 7<?c-call your troops, re-store Castle
William, jv-pair the damage done to Boston, re- ?
peal your unconstitutional acts, re nouncc your
protonsions to taxation; and re-fuud the du
ties you have oxtortcd. Afterwards, rc-quiro
and rc-coivo pay for .tea destroyed j aud then
rc-joice in n happy l\V.-conciliatiuii.
A Stretchy Yarn.?Wo wcro running'
down from Barbadoos, and tho lady passengers .
were admiring the beautiful flying-fish, when
one turned to Jack Lady, who had the wheel,
and inquired,?
"Jack, do those beautiful fish ever grow
any larger ?"
"Why, yes, martri. Down thrro at the Capo
Vcrds they grow as long as that mainmast."
"lndoed ' And do they fly, like these
"Not'zactly, mann. They flies longer and
higher. Some of 'em fly just liko eagles n\\
day, and moro'n two miles high. One day
Bill Fawcctt was slecpin' up in tho forctop';''
with his dinner-port wido open, and ono of 'cm -
Capo Yerdersflew right slap down his throat."
"Why, .Jack, that was singular ! A fish as.
long as that mainmast flying- down a man's,
throat?"
"Bog pardon, mann ; can't talk much at tho
wheel. I 'speck Bill must ha' strottohed liko
blazes, or olso my yarn has "

xml | txt