Search America's historic newspapers pages from - or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more
title: 'The Orangeburg news. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, October 05, 1867, Image 1',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of South Carolina; Columbia, SC
All ways to connect
Inspector General |
External Link Disclaimer |
0 .: :IT
FIRST OUR HOMES;'. T1IKN OUR STATIC; FINATJA7" ?^IE "N ATI ON ; TI-IERE (CONSTITUTE; OUR COUNTRY.
.^TOLUME 1, SATURDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 5, 186T.
THE ORANGEBURG NEWS.
PUBLTSIiKPWT OHAN;GEBURG/,C; S
Every Saturday Morning.
MAM UAL MUHLE, Editor.
V. a DIBliLE, Associate Editor.
" WtA ii/JjfS ?F; mi L/j, / WuoW,
TKKMH OF 8UHSCHl\*TIOK.
Om U?fj for on? y?nr.J>?.00
? Six Months.^.? 1.00
*M ?? ** Thruo " .; 60'
Any ono tanking up ? CIA'B of FIVE ANNUAL
? il'USCltinKltS will receive an extra copy
KREB OE CHANCE.
(1V.VTKS OF Al)VKUTISlNfJ.
\ Sipiarc 1st Insertion. $l.f?U
" ' 2d ??. 7?">
A Square consists of 10 lines Brevier or one inch
of A <1 vert is: it ? space.
Contract Advertisements inserted upon lite most
M.VUiUAOK ami FUNKRAL NOTICES, not ex
ceeding one Square, inserted without charge.
n*iT- Terms Casli in Advance, "^a
Vor further particulars, apply'to Mit. Cuaui.k.h II.
Hall, or address
SA.MUKL 1)1 Mill. I-:.
En mm OitANUKiiritu N?:ws.
Orangeburg, S. t\
TvSt 2? o 1 v
IZLAR & DIBBLE,
Attorneys and Solicitors.
\Vill Practice in Courts of the State, and also of
l'he V'rtllvd States, especially in the Couri*? of
H A NK It I'l'TC Y.
OUANG.KHUHCJ, S. C.
.IAMKS F. 1ZLAR. SAMUKI? DIRRLK.
* f?.b 23 * ly
?WATCH"'3IAKHIt WD JEWELLER,
Work Xcfitly lii-fHttrrif ami
R U S S E Ii Ii S T it E E T .
(OPPOSITK COltNELSON, Kit A Si Kit .S: CO.)
sept 28 "c ly '
P. J. MALONE^
A T TOR NEY A T L A W .
W A LTER IN )RO, S. 0.
Will practice in the Courts of Omngeburg ami
Collet on, ami attend promptly to nil business en
trust e?l to his care.
may 11 tf
AOKNTS FOR THE
Eqitnbta Lifo Insurance Company
of xew roiix,
I'OI.rCIKS NON-FOU FEIT ABLE,
Dividend Declared Annually to Policy Holders
fei? 2? t.l
DRY COOPS, GllOOERlES, HARD
WARE, WOOD WAR E, CROCK
ERY, CUTLKRY, &c, &c,
ivi .A. I OST - 3 T R IS i ? T ,
ORANGEBURG, S. C.
feh 2;i ly
BULL & SGOVILL
AUK AGENTS FOR TIIK
Underwriters Fire Insurance Compari*:
OY XEW YORK,
ASSKTT& OY Ell $1,000,000.
Hecfti'ity Fire Insurance Company
01? NEW YORK
assetts over %\,000,000.
These stand in the fust ranks of all good Insurance
fib 23 y \c
me a n a x l a a l d e x r i s r,
Will attend to those who wish.his services ut their
residences, by being informed through the I'oat office
or otherwise. TKIyTII on GOI.p and SILVER
PLATE; also the VULCAMTK WORK.
All work done Warranted lo give satisfaction.
Residence: at Jlr. JOSEPH FKUSNEtt'S, Oi'riftgC
burg District, R. C
mar UU tf
[From tlio Atlnutic Monthly.]
Tho lilne and Gray.
Ry tilo libiV Wlhc inland river,
Whehee Ihc Heels of iron lhlvc Bed,
Where t lie blades of the grave-grass ipiivcr,
Asleep ni e the ranks* of the dead: ?
Unde* the soil mid the dew,
Waiting the judgment day ;
Under tho bho the ilhio :
Undur the other, the dray.
ThoHc In the rollings of glory,
Those in theglo'dhi of defeat,
All with (lie hut lie-blood gory.
In thi? dusk of eternity nice! :?
Under the soil mid the dew,
Waiting the judgment day;
Under the Inurel. the lilito,
Under Ihc willow, ihc Gray.
From the silence of sorrowful hours,
The desolate mourners go,
Lovingly laden with llowers.
Alike for the friend liud the foe;?
Under the sod and the dew,
Waiting the judgment day;
? Under th? rose? the blue.
Under the liltie.l the (iray.
So with an equal splendor,
The morning sun-rays fall.
With a loueh impartially lender,
On tin' blossoms blooming tor all ;
Under the soil and the dew,
Waiting the judgment day:
Hroidered with gold, llic.liluc,
.Mellowed with gold, tin: ("ray.
So when the summer ealleth,
On forrcst and field and grain,
With an equal murmur falleth
The cooling drip of rain :?
Under the sod and the dew,
Waiting the judgment "lay ;
Wet with the rain, the lllue,
Wet with the rain, the (iray.
Sadly, 1ml not with upbraiding,
Tlie generous deed was done :
lu the storm of I lie years that are fading,
No braver hat lie was won.
Under the soil and the dew,
Waiting the judgment 'lay;
Under the blossoms, (he [tine,
Under the garlands, the (iray.
No 111 or ?shall the war-cry sever,
Or the binding rivers be red';
They hauitdi our anger forever
When tl.ey laurel the graves ?^mr dead!
Under ihe'sod and the dew,
Wailing the judgment day;
I.ove and tear.: for the I.lue.
Tears and love fur the (Iray.
[From Demurest'a Monthly Magazine.
15 V M A MY KLlZAUKTir.
fining away lor tho first timu ! leaving
home nml home fit cos that const it nto licr world,
fur new scenes, new faces, new temptation? and
trials. She found it very hard, shrinking
from the eohl sympathy of strangers as she
did ; yet for the sake of duty she did it. tak
ing her brave little heart and trembling hands
to the city to lind support for herself, now that
her father was no longer able to support her. A
friend in New York, at her request, had procured
her a situation as teacher, and, resoulutely
closing her 03*eH to the quiet, peaceful home
left behind. she went forth to Struggle with the
world. How faithfully, how bravely, who OOtlld
tell ? Hut, looking at that earnestly pure face,
one could not but hope much for her.
'?King, who is that little body that sits op
posite, you at the table? She is. not my style,
but somehow interests me in spite of myself.
If you know her, 1 wish you'd introduce me."
??J don't know her. 1 had the oiler of an
introduction yesterday. If I had known that I
jouhl have benefited yon. T'd havo accepted it.
>'he's only :i poor school ma 'a m from the c??ti
try somewhere?very unsophisticated and im
pressible, one can tell by her face ; und it i? ho
awkward getting along with these, impressible
people, you know. 1 wonder that- you are at
tracted by her. You know yon are tu many a
fortune one of these days."
?Who spoke of marrying?" said (he other,
"Oil ! never mind, Lester; 1 was only liv
ing a bit of advice."
" 'Twas unnecessary."
'?(?lad of it." And the conversation passed
to other subjects.
They sat lounging on the pia/.za, unconscious
that the subject of their remarks sat. within,
leaning against the window-frame, resting from
her walk from school. She sat nuw with burn
ing cheeks and Hashing eyes. "J'oor school
ma'am, indued ! Unsophisticated and impressi
ble! L will reiucinber that speech and speak
That evening .M r. King opened his eyes rat b
er wider than usual as the quiet little liguro
glided gracefully in and took her accustomed
Scat oppusite. IIo acknowledged to bimsell
that she was rather pretty after all. The bonrdf
crs that sat on each side of her .were agreeably)
surprised to see her pleasantly receive their ad-*
vances, which ho Co re she appeared unconscious'
of. In Die ovening she joined them iu tho";
parlor, haviitg a few slight acquaintances, and;;
joining in conversation, soon charmed thorn';
with her colloquial powers. If she had one gift'
it was conversational talent. From where!
King sat, ho could hear her sweetly modulated
voico iu playful argument with others. Ho.
looked at her?^yos sparkling, ohceks glowing,',
showing her interest iu und enjoyment of tho
conversation; and, as ho Hustainedv his part a?
rr/<-V(-(r/r with a lady friend, thought to him-,
self, '-.She's beautiful." hater in the evening,
as sat in the midst of a circle of acquaintances,,
t winning them all with her sweet voice, Lester*
among the number, she though) of the eonver-J
sat ion she had beard with a smile as she saw
Mr. King coining up with a laity, who said:
"Will you allow me to present my friend .Mr.
King, Miss Marston''"
Coolly she looked up, and replied in a low
but perfectly d.stinct voice :
"Tell your friend the voTliitn/scfioofitm'um is
of his opinion ; it i* awkward dealing with
these impressible people. 1 a/so decline the-4
honor of his acquaintance."
And thevdisc:i.?!itted King turned on his heel,
white with .anger, only saying to the lady, but
speaking at her, "Say to .Miss Marston I honor
her judgment," and retired to another part ol
tho room, leaving bis friend looking iu dismay'
at one and the other for an explanation. .Jen
nie whispered. "I'll explain il to you. Pardon
mo for placing you in such an embarrassed po
sition." And, as the lady with a smile passed
on. she took up the thread ol* conversation
where it had broken oil", with perfect case, and
soon the astonished group had forgotten the
circumstance for the time, while her heart beat
faster as she thought, "I. am repaid sooner than
I had anticipated."
Do not blame her harshly. She was a true,
high-miudc I girl, but only human. Hut, that
night, as she sought her room, the whole scene
came back to her mind. and. burying her face
in the pillow, sin- exclaimed. "WJiat have I
done? what have I done? Oh ! how could I
I wish I were back at home. This outside
world is no place for me," und sobbed.licr.uoU'<
Time passed on. King had exchanged his
seat at the table for one further down, and yet
his eyes often sought her face. They never
met elsewhere ; and she. rather annoyed, ob
: served that he studiously avoided her. leaving
I ? ? ? ? ?
. a circle if she entered it. and often the room.
I have not described him. So far. his ac
quaintance with the reader has hardly done
him justice. A tall, dark in ;.?!. with eyes that
read one through ; rather haughty bearing,
proud and exclusive, and. yet after all. he had j
more simple goodness under bis cold exterior
than his friends gave him credit for. lie was j
known as one of the most successful lawyers of
the city, and possessed much penetration, and
enjoyed reading people's characters iu their
faces. It mortified him that, he bad been so
? mistaken in his estimate of Jchir.c's character;
and be had been used to the adnlat'n n of her
sex so long, that her behavior toward him was
not soothing to his pride ; yet. in spite of it.
he became more and more interested in her.
and scorned himself for it. And Jennie, on
her part, deeply regretting the part she had
acted, would have been glad to make some sort
of reparation : but whenever she looked at the
proud, dignified man, all thought of apology
One Saturday morning, sho wuut down to
the parlor with a roll of music, giving a sigh
of satisfaction, that Saturday?that blessed
holiday for teachers?came unco a week, ami i
congratulated bersell on having a long, iiiiiu
i terrupted hour of practice, as the parlors were
i always empty mornings. As shccniiic thought
j fully in and took her seat at the piano, she lio
j ticed not the tall form reclining near the win
dow; reading'; but he was watching her every
! movement, and debating within himself whctli
I er IlC should retire as usual and leave her ill
j quiet possession of the parlor, or remain where
! be was.
lie decided on the latter course as she open
ed her music and commenced playing one ol
Tbalberg's difficult fantasias, much to bis sur
prise; and he secretly wondered if she was a
specimen of the class he had once denominated
??sehoolma'anis." The lastO and feeling dis
played in her exquisite playing astonished him.
Piece niter piece was played, and, laying her
music aside with a sigh, she struck a few
chords and began a song?not such a song as
we are. in the habit of hearing nowaday.-- ; but
a sweet, touching air, appealing to the heart,
and once heard never forgotten. Philip King
listened with his whole soul as her ch ar, pure
voice lloatcd through the largo, silent rooms?
as be would have listened to an angel ; and as
the la.-t note died away, a revelation suddenly
dawned upon his mind?he loved Jennie. Mars?
ton ! As the truth forced itself upon him. he
would have quietly risen to leave the room iiu
pcrceived, but. she. suddenly wheeled round on
ilia piane-stool and met his eye. With a start
a,nd sudden pallor she recognized him. And
^c?1 think he would have blushed had he not
..been so dark. She was the first to regain self
"I hardly know which would be considered
the intruder here. Please do not leave on
any nccouut, lor I am just going. I must have
interfered with your reading."
::\ An awkward pause followed. "Oh ! if he
would only speak," she thought, "so that I
might dare to apologise for my rudeness that
i Why was this oool, proud man of the world
emharras-ed 'i He felt that she considered him
an enemy, when only love was in his heart.
? The silence was broken, however:
"Miss Mnrston, allow me tit thank you for
the pleasure you have unconsciously given me?
nie whom you consider not as a friend or even
The emphasis given to the words pained her.
With burning checks and eyes bent on the car
pet she said, In a low, constrained voice:
"Mr. King, will you not forgive that hasty
speech of mine? It was willful, and I know
you despise me for the part 1 have acted; and
?though it may he of very little consequence to
[i/ou whether 1 ask your forgiveness or not. yet.
if grunted, 1 shall he happier, knowing that
there is less hardness between us. Ami though
we may never he friends, do not hi- my enemy.
She looked up timidly, her eyes filled with
tears, to where he had been sitting; hut there
he stood before her. holding out both bauds.
With a sob she placed hers within, and. bend
ing over her, he said, his voice trembling with
"() .Jennie Marston! you know not what
you art; doing ! Kvery word you utter is but
as fuel added to the llame of love consuming
my heart. Von may despise me more than
ever now. I cannot help it. I love you. love
you. .Jennie Marston '. .Not even daring to hope
for a return, 1 must tell you this. () my darl
ing ' are you struck dumb with surprise at my
presumption V Hut still the head remained
bowed and the little hands motionless within
his own. "0 Jennie ! this suspense is agony !
?tflavc you no answer for me V
L. A alight pressure of the little hands satis?
^ned him apparently, for in a moment more he
had drawn her to bis breast, ami she was sub
hiug out her surprise aud happiness on his
shoulder. And he?he hardly knew how to
express his happiness. With him. love was a
passion felt to his inmost soul, and lasting as
life; and now. assured "I' her luve for him as
he held her there, whispering words of lou
dcrucss, he felt his cup of happiness to be
overflowing. And little .Jennie felt she was
happier than she deserved to be. The care
less woids mi his part and hasty ones on hers.
\ that had kept the two hearts apart so long,
were forgotten. When the engagement be-I
came public, every one wondered that they two. |
I formerly antagonistic and of such opposite
characters, should ??make a mat eh," forgetting
that ? extremes meet."
.Jennie finished her school term, and went
home with a happier heart than she brought ;
aud after a short season returned a bride, to
grace the beautiful home her husband's love
and pride had prepared for her.
Learn a Trade.
Stephen Oirard had a favorite clerk, and he
always said he intended to do well by Hon.
liippcucott. So when Heil got to he twenty
one, he expected the "governor," to 'say
something of bis future prospects, and perhaps
lend a helping hand in starting him iu the
world. Hut the old fox carefully avoided the
subject. Hen mustered courage. ??! suppose
j I am now free, sir." said he. - ami 1 thought 1
would say something to you as to my course.
What do you think I had better do?"
"Yes, yes, I know you are." said the million
aire : ? and my advice is that you go and learn
the coopers trade."
This piece of advice nearly froze Hen out;
but recovering his equilibrium, he said, it" Mr.
(i trard was in earnest he would do so. "I am
ju earnest ;" and Hen forthwith sought the
host cooper in Spring (Jarden, became an ap
prentice, and iu due time could make as good
a barrel as the best, lie announced tu old
Stephen that he had graduated and was ready
t" set up iu business. The old seemed groti
lied, and immediately ordered three of the best
barrels he could turn out. 'Hen did his pret
liest, and wheeled them up to his counting
room. Mr. (Jirard pronounced (hem first rate,
and demanded the price. "One dollar," said
Hen; "is as low as 1 can live by." "Cheap
enough! make out your bill." The bill was
made out, and old Stephen settled it with a
cheek for ?f>0,(>00, which he accompanied with
his little moral to the story : "There take that,
ami invest it in the best possible manner and if
yon are unfortunate ami lose it, you have a
good trade to lall kick upon, which will afford
yen a good living."
Plea for Early Marriages.
Ucv. II. Morgan lectured in Boston not long
since on the subject of "Young men and Karly
Marriages.'.' The following is tho Ifcraht* re
port of ihc lecture.
Nature, history, and revelation declarer, "it
is not good that man should be alone." He
needs u helpmate?a wife is the balance-wheel,
tlio regulator, the guardinn nogul of a husband's
trust, eontidonco and prosperity. Politically,
socially, morally aud spiritually, man requires
n wife. Man needs a homo. Tho Hornaus
gave bachelors no legacies. Corinth denied
them sepluehre. Athenians scourged them.
In Plato's Commonwealth, at the age of thirty
five they were lined. .Man is but half a man
without a wife. In all your get tings, get a
wife, and never rest from getting till you get
married. Hotter live in an attic, under the
hallowed influence of a wife, than revel in a
palace in dissipation. Man needs a home.
Marriage is the legitimate basis of a genuine
home. Look at the deplorable condition of
the young men of this city without homes.
Hoarding bouses have no elevating society of
women, no home influences, no place of mental
or moral improvement, no altar of prayer, no
angel of love. In Philadelphia there are more
homes in proportion to its population than in
Hosten ; hence Boston has an unequal contest
in the battle of morals."
- i mmmh ? - ? ?.
Tu v. Humous* ok Kkijistuatio.x.?The
following extract from the letter of a correspon
dent of the Charleston Afi.Tcurj/ from Lexing
ton, is interesting aud amusing :
1 f the election was to conic off now, there
would be a very large majority of votes cast
against the holding of a Convention. The
white voters would bo unanimous against a
Convention, and, only the few negroes that are
"llcgistering to get Land," would be in favour
of a convention..
I was amused tho uther day at an old colored
man. I said to hiiu, that he should go on
Saturday and register;
"What fury" said he.
'??So that you can vote."
-Vote for who?"
".fust any one you wish to vote fur, if he is
black as ebony "
"Now, massa," said the old man, "I am nut
gwine to do no such ting. Von see, dey done
mint me ready. When dey quit litin', I was
purty well off. 1 had sixty dollars in silver,
and I bad ninety dollar in State bank bills,
and I had live hundred dollar id Coiifcdric
mutiny ; ami now. you see. dey came long here,
and set me free, and make all my Coiifcdric
mutiny no count, my State banks bill no count,
all my corn gone, but nie free, I spose. I be
gins to cat my silver?all dat could by corn?
so you sec 1 dun eat all my silver siuove, smack
up. cept one dollar and a quarter 1113- wife save;
and here 1 he, free true, no boss, no cow, no
bog. mutiny gone, and mould?must now work
harder an 1 ever worked before "in my life. I
am not gwine tu register, nur vote, nur do nut
tin ; no 1 ?int. An if dem what's gwino bout
register in, don't be bad off as 1 is if dey don't
soon go to work and make stinting to eat, I'm
fooled, t iood-bye, massa?no register, no vote,
t'se gwine home."
I'jN kuoktm* Pa Aim ok vs. Kkd-Tai-k. Thk
(?11 y.?When .Jackson was moving on to strike
McClcllan's flank on the Chiekahoiniiiy, he
canto to a stream which had no bridge, and
could not be crossed without one. Tho Cion
eral had brought with him, from tho Valley, a
rough, uneducated man, full of energy, who
bad served him in emergencies, and in whom
be bad the utmost confidence. He called this
man aud told him that the stream must be
bridged immediatelyj the regulal engineers
were advised of the fact. In a short time the
rough carpenter and the polished men of
science were at the stream ; the former had his
plan, and the latter theirs; be wished to go at
the work at once without drawings, but they
ebjeeted until they could perfect the plans un
paper. The engineers retired to their tent to
perfect a paper bridge the carpenter took his
men and went tu work to make a real one. In
a very short time he appeared at the General's
tent and reported briefly, thus: "General, that
bridge is dune, but them pictures ain't come
M. Comaille, of the Paris Academy of
Science, tested for a ycai the laying capacity
of three ducks and three hens, under the same
conditions, with this result: hens 257 eggs;
ducks, til7 eggs.
There are over ''0,000 acres of land in Ala
bama planted in sweet potatoes this year, which
will produce 800,000 bushels.
'fbe. Newspaper is a sermon for the thought
ful, a library for the poor, and a blessing to
everybody. Lord Brougham called it the
.-bc.-t public in -tructoi* "
Phtsservation 6p 'Eti&s.'-^i??' f}&clkr (a
Parteien papcr"? recommends tho followreg mc
tliotl for the preservation of Egg?; pbsolvo
four ounces of beeswax in eight ounces of
warm olWo oH, in this put tho tip'of the finger
and anoint the egg all around.. The; oil trill
immediately be absorbed bythe shell, and tho
pores fillod up with the wax. If kept,:p\a cool
place, the eggs after two years will be,as good
as if fresh laid. . ,
A Sheriff^' kiftikhwtoi?fito
???????????< .id.. M^T
Court Was in scs'sioll, and amief ttic multipli
city of business which crowded ttp^dii him at
term time, he stopped at the door1 'df 'ft^bennti
fu'l widow on the sunny' side of thirty/frho, by
the way, had often bestowed melting glances on
the aforesaid Sheriff. He was admitted, and
the widow appeared. Tim confusion and fright
which the arrival of her visitor occasioned, set
off to greater advantage the captivating charms
of (he widow M-. Her cheeks bprc tho
beautiful blended tints of tho apple blossom;
her lips resembled the roscbtflM, Vlpon which
tho morning dew yet lingereti,'lnltl'?cf eyes
were like quivers of Cupid ; and tlib gl anee? of
love and tenderness; with Which ,!lhfey were
lilled, resembled arrows Which only fnvited a
"beaux'' (pardon the pun) to do full execution.
After a few common-place remarks, ">\Iadain,"
aniu the matter-of-fact Sheriff "I ha,vc an at
tachment for yott." i.: :, ?
A deeper blush than usual pfairffcd the
cheeks of the fair widow ; while" the glance of
her down-cart eyes were centered trpofl fior
beautiful foot, whichjhalf concealed,by flowing
drapery, patted tho'jhjor. Sho, with equal
candor, replied : V.
"Sir, the attachment is reciprocal."
For some time the Sheriff maintained an as
tonished silence, and at length lie satd i
"Madam, will you proceed to court?"
"Proceed to court 1" replied the; lridy, with a
merry laugh ; then shaking her head, she said,
/'No, sir; though this is leap year, I will not
take advantage of tho license therein granted
to my sex, and therefore I greatlyrpreior that
yo\i should proceed to court /'
"Hut, madam, the justice IB Waiting.''
?Lot him wait; I am not disposed to htlfty
matters iu so unbecoming a manner; aud be
side, sir, when the cerempny is performed. I
wish you to understand that I greatly pTefc'f a
miinster to a justice of the peace.",
A light dawned upon the Sheriff brain.
".Madam," said he, rising from, his chair With
solemn dignity, ''there is a great mistake hero';
my language has been misunderstood ; the at-*
tachment of which [ speak was issued from tho
office of Squire C-, and commands me to
bring you instantly before him ttt answer H con
tempt of court, in disobeying in subpoena in tho
ease of Smith vs. Junes."
We drop the cttrtaiif.d I h wv*<'
-J- .???Wli- .13
"Too Much Ditto/*?In a small village in
Now England, lived an old 'cnttpjivho, though
very wealthy, did not.possess a good education,
as also did not his wife, lie purchased much
of his household goods at a dry goods and
grocery store in the village, and at the end of
the year the bill was presented for payment.
On one occasion in looking it over, he observed
that the word "ditto" occurred frequently. Oil
reaching home he said to bis wife :
What have you been doing with ho much
ditto this year ?" Hhowing-h?r,>how it Blood on
the bill. ' "I haven't bought 'any, and wlial
have you been doing with *o mmdi ?"
"1 liaven't had a l/it,v shoireplicd.
"You must have had it," ho'returncd i "for
M. always deals honestly by me,- and here it is
on the bill. You can see for yottfpelf/'
"1 don't care if it is ; I haven't had any,
and M. has cheated you; I always said ho
"Well then. I must sec about if," he replied.
So be trudged back to the store.
"hook here M., what do you mean by charg
ing lire with flo much ditto? 1 haven't hat!
any. and my wife says she hasn't."
M. hit his lip and politely explained.
When the old gentleman returned home, his
wife, inquired if ho had found out about the
was a great fool, ami you Wan a 'ditto."
??Yos," shm! he; "I' have form'* not that
Mr. Snooks says (he reason he does not
marry is, that ilia house, is not largo enough to
contain the consequences.
Carlylc, iu his advice to ^oung men, says :
''If yon doubt whether to kiss a pretty girl,
jure her the benefit of the doubt.
The difference bet ween H mule and a postago
stamp is thus defined : One you lick with a
slick. The other you stick -with a lick.
A man very much intoxicated was sent to
jail. "Did yen not bail him out?" exclaimed
a bystander to a friend. "Bail him out!" ex
claimed the other : "why you could (not pump
kdui out "