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NUMER 47
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J. W. PATRICK, Agt.
Orangeburg County S. C. .
julyl26 1873
Romance in Politics.
Tho Columbus Stair Journal tells the
story of lovo of some Ohio politicians,
among others, of Hon. William Allen,
tho Democratic nominco for the Gover
norship of the State. In 1830 Mr.
Allen was nominated for Congress by
the Democrats, and Mr. McArthur, the
V\ big Governor, was a candidate for re
election. Mr. Allen loved the Gover
nor's daughier, but the father broko off
the match, and tho huly married a
Keutuckian, who died beforo tho end of
Mr. Allen's term in the Housj. Gov
ernor McArthur also died. Now comes
what seems almost the action of a ileus
exmachtna. 1 hero was au ultra-Dem
ocrat whose daughter loved and wedded
a Whig, when tho father had his oye
upon Allen G. Thurman as an eligible
husband for her. Soon he, too, slept
with his fathers, the lady became a
widow and married Mr. Thurman. At
tho wedding Mr. Al!eu again met Miss
McAithur (now a widow). The old
lovo returned, and they, too, became
husband and wife. Here is plenty t?f
romance for a dime novel.
"Rut stop, my child, and listen to me.
There is not a young lady in the city
that would not jump at the offor made
you. Let thorn laugh. Girls must have
something to laugh at, but it won't hurt
you. Tell him yes, emphatically. If
he were a stranger whose antecedents
were unkuowu to us, however propnsscss
ing in pcn?ou and manners, or profuse in
hia profession of love, I would withhold
my consent. Rut we have long known
him ; his moral character is without
reproach} he is amiable, kind hearted,
and sincere,a hue scholar, with as houor
able position in the college, and he
makes nr. pit-tensions. You know just,
what he is What, mure ?u you wtiutl"'
"Rut, mamma, I dou't know that he
loves n?2 ;. he hasn't oven said so."
"O, well, daughter, nevei mind that
Generully, those who arc loudest in their
prolesxionB of love have least of the pure
article. You can teach him by example
to love you. It is far better than pre
cept "
Leaning her bend upon her mother's
buhi.in, Saruh said, in a submissive tone :
"Well, ma, juut as you say?I'll tell
him yes ; but, although tho hour isn't
half out, we'll uot go dowu until the
last minute of the hour."
At the cxpiratiou of the fifty-ninth
minute they returned to tho professor
nod papa, Sarah still blushing, but more
calm than before. Then, with a Grm
ness that astonished herself as well as
pan-nts, she extended her hand to the
professor and said :
'?Yes, sir ; if japa consents.''
He gave his COUSCUt without hesi
tancy, and it was readily agreed by all
that the wedding should take place a
week from that time. Then professor
Foster, with his usual culmness, con
scious of having douc bis duty, with
drew to report progress to hia friends.
Well, in dure time tho Professor went
to the clerk for his license. The clerk
informed him that the law required a
bond and security iu the sum of 81,250,
u) bo void on condition that there was
uo legal objection to the proposed un
ion of the two persons named. Tho
Professor very promptly replied : "Oh,
never mind the bond, Mr. Clerk ; I will
pay 81,100 down, and will hand you
the balance in a day or two." After
further explanation by tho clerk, the
i Professor noon complied with the law
I and obtained his license.
At tho appointed time the wedding
came off in the beat style of the city,
and tho company onjoyed the occasion
with tho greatest zest, i he hours flew
like humming birds. As the clock
struck twelve tho Professor picked up
his hat and started to his boarding
bouse. His principal attendant, sur
mising his intention, followed him to the
front door and informed him that mat
rimonial etiquette required him to stay
and hoard and lodgo at the bouse of his
fat her-iu - lav/ until he und his wife
wished to livo by themselves; that he
would bo furnished with a room adja
cent to Sarah's room, in order that, if
she happened to get thirsty, he might
be near to get her a drink of fresh
Water.
In the morning the bride and groom
were greeted with tho smiles of tho fam
ily, together with those of some early
callers, and inquires were made if they
had slept well. Both responded that
they had never slept sounder in their
lives, ho adding, with his childlike ?im
plicity, thai he was happy to say Sarah
did not call for water duriog the whole
night. The last remark was quite a rid
dle to her, and Bho looked curious, but
said nothing, no ono venturing to ask
him to riso and explain. Ho did not
know it was a joke played upon him
until the attendant told it as such to
the company.
Finally th?i happy couplo went to
housekeeping, and never were man and
wifo ruore heartily congratulated or more
highly esteemed than thay wcro. Tlioy
wjre tho favorites in the city. Never
was vfifo more lovely or husband more
kind and devoted, but he didu't know
any thing about providing for the
larder, only as Surah tu ugh t him. One
lit 11 u incident may suffice to illustrate.
She told him one day to get some rice.
Ho wcut immediately to the store and
told tue clerk ho wantud to get some
rice. "How much?" inquired the
clerk. "Oh, not much," said the Pro
fessor, "I reckon three or four bushels
will do for tho present." The clerk
was very sorry to say they hud not so
much on hand, but that t hey would soon
havo more. The clerk persuaded him
to try to make out for a few days with
Homo fifteen or twenty pounds. Sarah
aud the clerk wero not the only ones
?ho laughed over the incident. He
never called for the three OS four
bushels afterward.
If the Professor and his wife are still
living they must be well stricken in
years, und if they see this brief sketch
of their early lives, and find any errors
iu it, they will pardon the writer.
Our Subject liciug Flies.
Flies ? considered individually, the
Bubject is small, but it is very numerous
In fact, of till small creatures not abso
lutely vicious, the cumin on fly is the
mo.-t vexatious. MisquitoCS bite?they
must to get their living; bees sting?to
de: end themselves; cockroaches run
uuuy when yon attack them?thny are
afmid but flics nibble upou you in an
aggravating nunucr, never getting
enough, and nothing will drive them
away; they return with fierce perstston
cy after cruel and coostaut rebuffs. You
commence to read your newspaper iu a
comfortable arm chair, or to write for
tho sake of friendship, fame, or daily
dread, at your desk. In the middle ol
the fiist sentence soft footftepa Login to
tickle the top of your left car. You
shake your head emphatically, nithout
lif iug your pen. The intruder flies off
a lew inches, and re alights on the back
of your hand. Another shake, and
again he settles on the top of jour head
and begins tu promenade up and down
the parting of your hair. You give
your bead a vigorous slap, never by any
chance hitting tho fly. lie is equally
coote it to crawl over your fore head,
and you meekly brush him away, hop
ing that gentle measures may prove
effectual. Ho tries your right oar, and
with calm resolution you wavo him
uway. Tho. creature sees his advantage
and audaciously alights on your tioso.
Resolved to keep your teinp?r, you
think you will let him take his own
time to leavo, hoping it will bo soon,
and forever. He pecks with gentle but
restless presisteuco, and you write vigor
ously, resolute not to bo disturbed by
trifles. Suddenly down goes your pen,
making uu ugly blot on tho fair sheet,
and you employ both bauds iu giving
your nasal orgao a good rubbing. Pa
ticnee, as iu a moment, is exhausted.
You uioditato murder; you plan it de
liberatoly?murder in the first dogrec.
You lean baok in your chair, and set
yourself as a tray. Ths bait is good;
the expected victim approaches; yuu
wait breathlessly; your hands falls with
a blow that makes your check tingle?
but you look up to see him securely
fluttering above your hoad, ready to try
again. Yon will bo more cautious nnd
givo your mind to tho business. You
tako your handkerohiof, douhlo itjudi
ciously, and hold it ready to descend
with swift voDgence. Tho follow is on
your left hand?such a little creature to
disturb your equanimity? Slowly, slow
ly, and you will get him I With sud
den nnd tremendous force you pounce
upon him?and ho sails nway unbarm
edl You feel most uuoomfortably irri
tated?eonquored by an insignificant
fly 1 Aud you reflect (whilo brushing
away the awarm which by this time,
have come to see what is the matter)
upon poisons, medicated fly paper*, and
all tbe cunning devices advertised for
enticing flies into tho house with mali
cious intent. Shall you provide tho
neighborhood (of flies) with deadly food
or submit to he nibbled alive? That is
the question. And you fall into a men
tal discussion concerning the compara
tive anuoyence of dead and of living
iu the midst of which you drop into
what would bo a comfortable dozo ex
cept for tho audacious return of the
identical fly you have been fighting,
which lights on the tip of your nose,
and you awake feeling absolutely
cross.
Laughter as Medicine.
A short time since two individuals
wore lying in one room, very sick, one
with brain fever, and the other with an
aggravated case of the mumps. Thoy
wero so low that watchers wore needed
every night, and it wsb thought doubtful
if the one siek with fever would recover.
A gentleman was engaged to watch over
night, biu duty being to wake the nurse
whenever it became necessary to ad
minister medicine. In thecourse of the
night both watohor and nurse tell
asleep. The man with .: he mumps lay
watching the olock, and saw that it was
time to give the fever patient his potion.
He was unable to opeak aloud, or to
move any portion of his body, except
his arms, but seizing a pillow, he man
aged to strike the watcher in the face
with it.
Thus suddenly awakened, the watcher
sprang from his seat, falling to the floor,
and awakened both the nurse aud tho
fever patient. The incilent struck the
sick men as very ludicrous, and they
laughed heartily at it for some fifteen or
twenty minutes. When the doctor came
iu the morning, he fouud his patients
vastly improved ; said.hU nev^rAuow so
sudden a turn for the better ; and now
both are up and well. Who soys
laughter is not the best of medicines't
Aud this reminds the writer of an
other case. A 'gentleman was suffering
from an ulccrutiou in the throat, which
at length became so swollen that his life
was despaired of. His household came
to his bedside to bid him farewell. Kaub
individual shook hands with the dying
man, and then weut away weeping Last
of all came a pet ape, and, shaking the
man's hand, went uway also with his
hands over its eyes. It was so ludicrous
a sight that the patient was forced to
laugh, aud laughed so heartily that the
ulcer broke, aud his life was saved.
A Daubury Funeral.
The day Mr. Ruby across the way was
to be buried, Mrs. Moriaty told her
daughtor Clurinda that sho guessed she
would attend, as she wasu't feeling vory
well, and a ride would do her good.
She knew there would be several cover
ed carriages furnished at tho expense of
tho fumily, and sho was equally confi
dent it could bo so managed that she
would occupy a portion of one of them.
She was among the first at the house,
and occupied a prominent position. As
tho ether friends arrived she Look oc
cat-ion to recall rominiscensos of the late
lluby that brought tears to their eyes,
and when the services wore over, as the
first coach drovo up for its load, tho dis
tress of Mrs. Moriaty at tho doath of
Mr. Ruby was so markeJ as to excite
the liveliest sympathy. Then tho sec
ond coach eamo up. Mrs. Moriaty had
got down to tho gnte by this time, aud
as the door of tho second coach was
opened, and a call mado for tho occu
pants. It seemed extremely doubtful if
sho could hold up another instant. She
leaned against the post, and starod into
the coach, and over its rich upholster
ing, aud said the late Ruby seemed moro
like a son to her than a neighbor. Where
upon tho usher looked appropriately sad
and called up the third and lustcoaoh.
This had yellow cushions and piuk
straps, and Mrs. Moriaty didn't hesitate
to protest that in the death of Mr. Ruby
tho community had mot a loss it waa not
possible to recover from and she would
follow him to his last resting place if she
had to do it on hor knees, and would
fee 1 grateful for tho opportunity. Then
the third and last coach filled and droro
oil to take its place in tho line, and Mrs.
Moriaty dried her tears, chokod baok tho
sorrow of hor heart with ono migh
ty gulp, and strode into her own house,
shutting the frontdoor without tho aid
of the knob. Sho told Clariuda that it
was tho scaliest affair she ever wont to,
and had it not bcon fdr the body there
would have been no funeral at all.
Significance of the Fingers.
Each finger, and the mount at the
base of it, is named from a planet. In
the normal hand the second Roger is
the longest, the third the next longest,
the first nearly as long as the third, and
much longer than tho fourth, or little
fiuger. Jupiter is the first finger. If it
be long nnd not ill-shupcn, nnd if the
mouut at its baso be woll developed, it
iudicatcs a noble and lofty charae'er,
and a religious minded person. It dis
proportionately long, it will mean differ
ent things according to the type of hand
in which it may bo found, or according
to the type of that particular finger ; in
the first type, an over-long first finger
would denote nn inclination to the fan
tastio or tho exaggerated in religious
matters; or it might, perhaps, mean
religious madness; or, if other signs in
the hand favored this view, it could be
taken to denote pride. Pride is a form
of worship?tho cult of self. In the
second type of hand, the excessive do
velopn'ient of Jupiter might mean nmbi
tion, or, if it wero in a hand that was
eminently unselfish, it would stand for
a something puritanical in manners and
morals?a too great severity. In the
third type, a very long first finger would
probably signify vanity. The second
finger is Saturn. If too prominent it
announces melancholy, or misanthropy,
or downright cruelty, according to the
type of hand ; but if the linger be within
duo proportion, this sadness may take
the form of pity for otherj, or it may
mean a becoming gravity. Tlift third
finger is Apollo, and belongs to the arts.
In a "pointed" hand Apullo will give
poetry and music (composition ;) in a
'?square" baud, painting, sculpture,
(here art leaves the domain of the purely
contemplative ; it becomes partly active
Iroui the combination of manual skill
with what is only imaginative ;) nnd in
a "spade shaped" hand Apullo will give
histrionic pi wer, an aptitude for acting,
or a love of theatrical amusements. On
the stage arts is joined iu the closest
manner to motion. The fourth linger is
Mercury. If well proportioned it
promises a scientific turn of mind,
resouroefulue88, aud diplomacy?t-^ct.
The thumb is Venus. Chirngnomony
and palmistry agree in almost all particu
I a is about the thumb. In both systems
it is treated as the must important part
of the hi nd. The upper joint, that
with the nail, stands for the will; the
second division, the reasoning faculties;
iho base, the animal instincts.? St.
Pauls Magazine.
How Meats or Men May be Kept
Cool.
Capt. Warren, famous though h"is
''Cooker," has tried his hand at the
transportation of moat by the rclrigcr
ating process; aud the English papers
give his apparatus great favor. Two
patents, based upon a process of Captaiu
Warren, have been tried and jailed.
The apparatus of Captain Warren con
gists of a small steam engine, to which i?
attached a second cylinder fur condensing
ether vapor. The cold produced by tho
expansiou of the coudeused ether is
utilized by being communicated to brino
contained in pipes around which the
ether circulates. The briue thus cooled
is used in its turn to freeze water or to
cool air, the water being contained in
reservoirs immersed in a vessel ol cold
brino, aud tho air conveyed iu pipes,
which wind backwards and forwards iu
such a vessel. The cthor being iu a
closed apparatus, is scarcely at all waatud,
aud little more than its first cost is taken
into account. Iu experiments made, the
air iu a room, alter being wilhdrnmi at
a temperature of ?2 degrees, was almost
immediately returned into it at 45 du
grces; while, us this process continued,
the temperature of the room was rrpidly
reduced and easily brought to the frcez
ing point. Oapt. Warren claims that
the temperature of any limited spaco can
thus bo kept to almost any required do
giee; and ho proposes to apply the
method to tho construction of cold chum
bers on board of ships, to bo used for
storing frcBh provisions, or iu caso of
merchant ships, for pcrisbablo freight.
Ilo proposoB also to cool railway carriages
in hot climates, to provide oool vans for
tho conveyance of dead moat and other
provisions in India, to oool tko air ad
mittcd to hospital wards in hot climates,
nnd to provide an unlimited supply of
pure ice at almost nominal cost.
How to Cure Dyspepsia.
Aldcn Gobble, a lover of misrulo,
was dyspeptic, aod suffered great uu
easiness after eating. So bo goos to tho
great Dr. Aboraothy for advice.
'What is the matter with you?' asks
the doctor.
'Why, I presume I have got the dys
pepsia.'
'Ah !' naid the doctor, 'I seo : a Yan
kce who has swallowed more dollars and
cents than he can digest.'
'I am an American citizen,' said Al
den, with great dignity; 'I am secreta ry
of our legation to tho Court of St.
J amea.'
'Then,'says Abcrnethy, 'you will soon
get rid of your dyspepsia.'
'Don't see the iufcrenco,' said Aldcn;
'it ain't natural consequence, I guess,
that a man should cease to be ill be
cause he is called * * * to fill an impor
tant office.'
'Dut I toll you it does follow, for in
tho company you'll keep yon'll have to
cat liko a Christain. I never saw a
Yankee who didn't bolt his food like a
boa constrictor. How can you expect
to digest food that you neither take the
trouble to dissect uor time to masticate?
It's no wouder you lose your teeth, for
you never use them; nor your digestion,
for you overload it; nor your saliva, for
you expend it on your carpot i,.oiead of
your food. 4It's disgusting; it's beas tly!
You Yankees load your Stomachs as a
Devonshire man does his cars?as full
as it will hold, and as fast as he can
pitch it iu with a hayfork; and then you
complain that such a load of compost is
too heavy for you. Dyspepsia! pooh !
It's beastly guzxling, you moan. I tell
you what, Mr, Secretary of Legation,
take half the time to eat that you do to
drawl out your words, chew your food
half as mush as you do your tobacco,
aud you'll he well in a month.'
Au Adroit Fraud.
Some oine years ago, Solomon liacon,
a well known merchant in London, re
eeived a letter from his correspondent
in Hamburg, which grieve 1 and tron
bled him. It stated that tho writer had
been dclraudcd by his nephew, son of
a widowed sister, of ?10,000, and had
fled to London with the mogpy. There
wiifl a reluctance to make the matter
public, aud Mr. Ha con was desired to
keep silence; 'but,' the letter.went on to
say, 'if you would invite John to dinner,
aud when alone tax him with the crime
he might perhaps refund the money.
Should he do so, you may give him
?500.' The London merchant found
the young German, took him home, aud
wheu the ladies had withdrawn from the
dinucr table he acquainted his visitor
with his knowledge of the fraud. Alarm
was depicted on the countenance of his
gUC8t.
'You will not make this public, Mr.
Bacon ?' he asked.
'Not if you return mc the money uow
aud here.'
'But I lost .?1,000 last night at Crouk
ford's, nnd have uot the power.'
'Well,' said the merchant, 'return mc
then ?9,000, and thought I a little ex
coed my instructions, I will nevertheless
give you back ?500.
'My uncle is very good,' remarked the
young man. and ho forthwith banded
from his pocketbook nine .?1,000 notes
to his host.
'1 cannot change one of theso, said
Mr. Bacon; 'will not my check do as
well ?'
'Quite,' replied the German; and
having roccived tho ?500 chcok, hastily
lea.
Tho following morning Mr. Bacon
went to his banker to pay iu the notos,
and found to his surprise that they were
all counterfeits. His next inquiry was
after his check; but that was already
cashed. Ho then telegraphed to his
Hamburg correspondent, and loomed
that ho was profoundly ignorant about
tho whole affair. It wus as adroit a
fraud as ovor plotted.
How His Name was spelt.
A story is told by the Boston Trans
cripi at tho exponso of a distinguished
theological prolessor ut Andovor, Mass.,
whoso usually retentive memory is
occasionally a little treacherous on pro
per names. While visiting a neighbor
ing city some time since, us he stood up
on tho dopot platform, waiting for a
train, a gentleman stepped up, aooosted
tho professor, shook hands warmly and
began numerous inquiries in regard to
members of his family and the good
friends living in A-. The pro
fessor was puzzled j the face of his oor
dial friend was quite familiar, and lie
was evidently no stranger to himself or
family, but to reoall his name was bay
ond auy offort of memory. The pre
fessor joined in a lively conversation,
disliking to make the awkward inquiry,
and hoping for some chance wordt#
reveal the name of his friend hot it
cauie not, and as the conversation went
on tha ignorance became more and more
embarrassing. At last a happy thought
came to the professor ; ho would get it
without asking. So, with an indifferent
air he asked, "Let mo see, I forgethr?W
to spell your name." But, alas for tho
expedient! With a curious smile his
friend replied, "Well, usually I spell it
J-on-es."*
Trading Out.
The French papers have a most dh?
verting account of the shopping expert
ences of a lady named Anna Doslioni.
One day at the Hotel des Ventca f,ho
took a fancy to a landscape by Carat,
which, as phe happened to be in funds,
she bought for 22,000 francs. Her
friouds told her tho picture was not
worth the money, and though not exact
ly of that opiuion h erself, she was
frightened into selling it for 16,000
frajics, with which she bought a dia
mond bracelet. Thereupon her ao.
quaintancc said she had been robbed
and that many of tho supposed gems
were but paste. The evening the braeo
lets was exchanged for a pair of ear
rings, at a loss of 3,000 francs. When
returning from the jeweler's she sa?t a
miniature chalet in the window of a toy
shop, Itud-ff-uad^tliw^^ A
violeut desire to take a trip to Switrsr
land. Eight days later the ear rings
followed the bracelet, and with the 11,
000 francs resulting from their sale she
purchased a chalet at Interachen. A.
clo:k played the quadrille from Orphee.
"Vive Paris IV the lady cried; there is no
place like Paris !" The chalet was sold
for 5,000 francs, with which she pur
chased some bronzes, supposed to be
antique, but worth some 300 francs a
price they fetched when, sold at the
Hotel des Veines fifteen months after*
Inexpensive Happiness.
The most perfect home I ever saw
was a little house, in the sweet iooenso
of whose fires were no costly things.
But tho mother was the creator of a
home her relation with her children was
the most beautiful that I had ever seen;
even a dull and commonplace man was
lifted up and onabled to do a good work
for souls by the atmosphere that Ulis
woman created; every intnito of her
bouse involuntarily looked into her faee
for the key note of the day, and ital
ways rang clear. From the rose bad or
clover leaf which, i respite of her hard
house work, she always found time to
put by our plates at breakfast, down to
the story that sho had on hand to |bo
read in the evening, there was no inter
mission of her influsnco. She always
has been, and always will bo, my ideal
of a mother, wife, and home maker.
If to her quick brain, loving heart
and exquisite face had been added the
appliances of wealth and tho enlargement
of wider culturo hers would have been
absolutely tho ido ?I home. As it is. it
is tho best I have overseen.
Now is the Time.
To improve a stagnant business, the
best remedy or stimulant is to ADV er
tisg. This is necessary in the pcouliaa
state of business, when people are con
suUiug tho nowspapers as their house
hold gods, conveying tho only true and
roliablo source of information on pass
ing oveuts, especially now, in the fiuo
tuation of trade. Indeed, so true is thie
that just uow no man muoh less any wo
man, starts out to spend a $5 greenback
without holding a council of economy at
or after breakfast with tho last issue of
tho payer spread for roforouce, to asosr
tain whore the greatest likelihood exists
of getting valuo received aal 25 per
ceut. addition for psnio rates. Advor
Use ! Lot the people know what you
have, aud at what moderate prices j#q
are soiling, and the response will he
found at once.
