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TWO DOLLARS FEU ANNUM, j-_^ J&OD_ AND OUR COUNTRY. ALWAYS IN ADvZncbTT='
VOLUME^. ~ SATURDAY~M
Coroner's Inquest on the Body of
James W. Br?Wiilng.
HELD AT bamberg on sunday, 30tiI
august, 1874, by oliver hewett,
TRIAL justice, acting AS coroner.
Information having been laid in this
case by F M Bamberg, a lawful jury of
inquest was duly summoned, composed
of the following persons, to wit : LI, J
Brabham, foreman, Hon. James M
Smith, G Y Patrick, W F Patrick, J S
B Jones, J F Jones, W \V Smoke, S T
Faiiy, Ilcury Smith, Andy Hamilton,
Jack Jenkins, G A llice and Jerry
Thomas.
Tho jury having viewed the body,
then lying iu a room of B F Slater's
store house, and a post, mortem of the
body haviug been made by Dr. J F
Baggot in the presence of the jury, the
following evidence was taken :
Dr. J F Baggot sworn : Have made
post morion examination of the body'of
James W Browning, and am of npiuiou
that the said James \V Browning came
to his death from a pistol shot wound,
tho ball entering the right breast, near
?the right nipple, ranging through the
lower lobe of the right lung
(Signed) J- F BaggotJ"
"William L Connelley sworn : I do not
*know anything of the shooting of James
W Browning; was at Murphy's store,
and heard the shooting.
(Signed) YV:L Connelley.
Brooks F Slater sworn : On Satur
day evening, 29th August., 1874, after
supper, James W Browning came into
my store, came behind the counter, and
asked me for a pistol; I asked him what
ho wanted with it; he said that J W
Crum had threatened to shoot him; I
?nvc him a pistol, a small seven shooter,
and I weut with him; we Walked from
?uvy fltoro up towards Dixuu's store,
going towards and along the rail oad
platform; when we hud passed a mul
berry tree, near Pixon's, Mr. Crum
spoke. Ho (Crum) was standing right,
by tho trc.e. Mr. Browning had pn-sed
the tree. Crum asked, ''Who is that ?
Mr. Browning replied "it was him/' and,
turned around; 1 saw a Hash Iro n a
|>istol in the hand ofOram; 1 numgtnzed*
Mr. Crum from the light of tho flash of
the pistol; previously I did not fecog
?izo Mr. Crum's person, only by his
Voice; Crum was about four feet frqm
Mr. Browning when he fired; after Mr
<Crum fired, Mr Browning cith r struck
Drum or pushed him; Crum full, with
Mr. Browning on top of him. Mr.
Browning said as soon as he was shot.
"?Tie has killed me." I told him I d d
fcot think he was hurl; a second .shot
was fired when Mr. Browning was ( n
Crum; I do not know who fired the
??shot; after tho .second shot, and while
Mr. Browning was uu too of Crum, 1
heard a pistol cocked; I gut down on my
Jknecs, aud took n pi>tol out of Crum's
hand; it was cocked when I took it out
loFliis (Crum's) hand. The pistol 1 now
produce is the one 1 took out of Mr.
Crum's baud; Mr. Browning was not on
'Crum over a half'miuutc?a very short
time; Mr. Browning got off Crum of his
own accord aud started for my sto?-o; on
cnteriug the store, Mr. Browning re
peat cd that "ho wus killed" more than
ouce; I told him "i did not think he
was." Ho weut into tho back room and
"sat on the floor; 1 got him on the bed;
just as I had got him on the bed, und
Went buck to thy door, two other shots
were fired some distuueo in frout of thu
office; it was very dark during the time
of tho fracas; Crum was in tho shad iw
of the tree. All of this happened iu
tho towu of Bamberg on Saturday even
ing, August 29, A. D. 1374, between
the hours of 8 aud 9 p. m., I think Mr.
Browning died about five miuutes after
he entered tho store; I scut for Dr.
Baggot and ho got there just as Mr.
Browning was dying.
(Signed) B F Slater.
Edward F Slater sworn : At Bamberg
on Saturday evening, August~29, 1874,
about 8i o'clock r. ju., I cume down
from F M Bamberg's; I came to a "pride
of India" tree stuuditig opposite to
Crum's ?toro; I heard Crum soy some
thing about Mr. Fairy and John Smith's
fight; 1 heard him cull both names;
Crum said "it was not so;" Mr. Brown
ing was prceeut and asked if he meant
that for him; Crum replied "that he
could take it to himself;" Crum got up;
Mr. Browning was sitting on tho bench
in Crum's piazza; Mr. Browniug had a
chair iu front of him, und when Crum
rose ho picked up the chair und pushed
him (Crurc) down with it; he (Crum)
apparently fell back against tho wall;
Mr. Browuing ruu out of tho piazza of
Mr. Crum'b btoro around tho corner of
llnrtzog's store; as Crum got up Mr.
Browning was running aiouud tho cor
ner, ns above stated; Mr. Crum said:
"I'll be d?d if X don't kill Browning,"
ho (Crum) went into his store; j P
.Murphy was etunding outtido of Crum's
store; Murphy snid tolum, "Don't you
go down there, Crum," Murphy had
reference to Crum's going down to
Frank Slater's storo; Crum suid,uI am
going down there to ueo tho gontlemnn;"
he als? said, "I'll bo d?d if I don't
kill him;" Murphy endeavored to koop
hi in from goiug; Crutn started towards
.Krank Slater's store bareheaded, and
wont in the street towards Slater's, close
to Isaac Liebman's piazza; I started bo
hind him; I saw Mr. Browning come
out of B F Slater's store; Slater w.is
with him; they came towards Liebmun'a
store; Cruin, as he got opposite the mill
berry tree by Dilau's shop, stoppe 1; he
got behind the mulberry troe; l stoppe 1
within about fifteen feet of him; as Mr.
Drowning got pretty close, [ wont ab mt
six fe?:t, where t'r?ni was standing;
when Mr. Browning got about four feet
from hi inj Crum said, "Is that you,
Browning?" Mr. Drowning replied.
"This is mo." As soon as Crum said
the words, he threw the pistol right
against Mr. Drowning and lired; Cru n
had the pistol in his right hand; ho put.
the pistol to Mr. Browning's breast and
shot him; as soou as Crum shot, Mr.
Drowning struck him and knocked him
(Cruin) down, Mr. Drowning exclaim
iing that "ho w.is shot " 1 said to Krank
Slater, "I am d?1 if Ian goiug t )
stand this;" I started towards Cruai an 1
Browning; Krank Slater ran in bitwe? i
me and Crum and Browning; Krank got
on bis knees, and appeared to get h >ld
of one of the combatants; I went to go
around Krank, but, hojumpe I up and
got between the combatants an I mys ;!f,
Mr. Browning g >t up au J skipped his
hands on his breast and said,"! am
kilLd," (bun jumpel up an I started
off, and got about thirty le it; [ started
on towards Krank Slater's store with
Mr. Browning; I wheeled and ran after
Crutn, an I said I was n it going to 1 t
him get away Ab ait that time Mr.
Drowning and Frank Slater got on the
stoio steps; I was ab mt forty foot from
them; Mr. Browniugsaid,"! am going
to fall;'.' I went back to them, an 1 went
to the room with Mr. Browning an I
Krank Slater; Mr. Bro.vuia jwj.it to
get on the bod in the room, but fell on
the side of the bed. I said, "Krank, put
hi in on the bed I'll gn th ! d ictor." * I
ran out and sent two eolore 1 in su ?.u go
after the d let >r I ask j I threo or foir
col (red men standi ig outside the d > >r
to help ms catch him. I se it one of
them to tell K M Bamberg that Mr
Crum had shot Mr. Browning. I was
not.present when Mr. Browning died.
(Signed) E E Slat?r
William J Jones sworn : Am a rc-i
deut of the town ofBunb'arg. On
Saturday evening, 29.h August, IS7I,
after supper,between S and ? o clock, 1
left homo and went to r?rau> Slater's
store; I left his store and went t? M r
Crum's sroro; when t got there 1. luird
J l* Murphy trying to quiet Crum. lie
told him "not to hive any fuss, n tt to
do that " lie apparently was trying t >
pacify ('rum. My curiosity was excited;
I lo iked und saw Crum have i pis.ol in
his hand; Crum walked out of bis store;
Murphy said, "I can do nothing with
you," and Murphy left; Crum started
towards Krank Slater's store; ho walke I
a little below Mr. Dixon's shop, and
said, "Is that you, Drowning'{" Mr.
Browu'ng replied, "This is me," o ?
words to tint effect;, on the reply, Mr
Crum fired; Mr. Browning, I think, fell
to his knees and rose, and I think struck
Cruin, who fell with Mr. Browning on
lop of him; Mr. Browning exclaimed,'
"He has killed me," or words to tint
effect; Crum got up and left. About
twenty stops from where the fuss dour
rod, and iu the direction that Crum
went, two pistol shots were lired, but I
do not know who ?rol them; I beard
only one shot fired when Crum und Mr.
Browning got together; am positive of
that; when Mr. Browning went in the
room ho asked me to pud off his shoes
and to put so nothing uudor his Ina 1; I
searched for u pistol; Mr. Browning did
nqt have one then; I si v Krank Slater
at the shooting; \V II Green was ueir
mo at the tiin? of the shooting; both of
us left the store of Crutn together,
when Crutn and Murphy wero talking
at tho store, from their coaversation I
was made aware that Mr. Browning
was the man meant by Crum, ami
whom ho was angry with.
(Signed) W J Jones.
State of South Carolina,
Barnwell County.
Au inquisition iudctitcd, taken nt
Bamberg aforesaid, the thirtieth day of
August, A. D. eighteen hundred and
sevcuty-lour, before O.ivor Hewitt,
Ksq , trial justice, acting as coroner.
Uyou th o view of the holy of James
W Browning, then and there being dead,
by the oaths of 11 J Brabham, fdrom'iri,
James M Smith, Gr Y Katrick, W K
Patrick, J S B Jones, J K Jonos, W
W Smoke, S F Fairy, Henry Smith,
Andy Hamilton, Jack Jenkins, U A
ltioe and Jerry Thema-), being a ia.vful
jury of inquest, who, being charged ami
sworu to inquito for tho State of South
Carolina wtieu and by what injaiis the
said James W Browning came to bis
death, upon their oaths, do say :
That tho said |J W Browning came
to his death by being shot iu the right
breast, near the right uipplj, the ball
ranging through the lower lobo of the
right lung, said wouud being iuflictcd
by a pistol ball, shot from a pistol in
the hand of J \V Crum, iu tho town of
Bamberg, between the hours of 8 and 0
o'clock, on Saturday evening, August
tlio twenty ninth, A. D. eighteen hund
rod and seventy-four; and so tho jurors
a!'orcsa:d, on their oaths afore wid, do say :
That the aforesaid J W Browning was,
iu manner aud form aforesaid, by the
said JW Crum, then aud there felon
ioualy killed, against tho poieaaud
digni y of tho same State aforesaid.
In witness whereof I, Oliver Ho iritt,
trial justice acting coroner aloaesiid,
and the jurors ufotcsap] to the Inquisi
tion, have set our hands and seals, tho
day and year aforesaid.
(Signed) Ol.IVKlt llBWITT,
Trial Justice, acting Coroner.
II J Brabham, foreman : Jas M Smith,
G Y P trick, W V Patrick, J S 11
Jones, J V Jones, W \Y Sinoko, S T
Fairy, II NY Smith, G A Rice, Andy
x Hamilton, Jack x Jenkens, Jerry
x Thomas.
Story of a Postal Card.
A prominent, merchant in St. Joseph ,
Mo , J. U. Johnson, ISsq., has got hi'n
self into trouble, the postal istor of St.
Joseph into trouble, tho postmaster of
Chicago into trouble; ami the Cover n
incut of tho Unite I States into trouble
all "rowing out of a bit of pasteboard
svith some writing on it.
Some weeks ago Mr. Johnson, hav
ing occasion to ord ?r s mie g iii Is from
Chicago, pa^tc I a label about the size of
a posing j stamp, bearing his business
address, en tho postal curd.
The Chicago corresp indent received
tho card iu due time, but, had to pay
six cents extra postage, and so notified
M r. iJ ohusou.
As the latter had been in the habit
of posting these labels for so no liuio and
had never before been called upon f>r
extra postage, he consulted tho post
master of St. Joseph, Mr. Ainholdl
about it.
Tlio latter authority informed him
thot ho had a right to label tho cords
and could continue to do so with sil'oty,
unless the cards were going to Chicago,
whose postmaster didn't uuderst tu 1 tho
aw.
Thereupon, in a happy frame of mind
Mr. Johnson addressed a card to tho~
Chicago house in his host handwriting,
aiid.w'uhu feeling of exultation, tY'~"
uuiphuntly and in a bold haul wrote
these wprds:
'Our postmaster sa; s your poitmister
is an ass.'
The Chicago postmaster forwarded
tho obnoxious postal card to Washing
ton
Mr Cresswoll put on his spectacles
an I read the St. Joseph postmaster's
pithy opinion of ih ; Chicago p ist uns
tor.
The scsuTtor the reading was a postal
card from Mr Cr'osswcll to the St Louis
postmaster which nearly lifted the latter
functionary out of his boots, and made
him realize us he hod never done bo'bro
how frail the tenure of a post mister may
be.
Thereupon the postmaster called up
on Mi Johnson, and informed him thot
he hud never said the postmaster uf Chi
COgO was an ass.
Mr Johnson brushed up his memory
and after awhile, concluded t!i it ho w is
mistaken in the language ho used; and
gave his postmaster a statement to that
e licet.
This relieved the postmaster
lie forwarded the statement to Mr
Cresswoll, and once more felt secure iu
his office.
Hut it did not end here, for on Th?rs
day la*t an order came for the arrest of
Mr Johnson for using scurrilous Ian
?nage on a j.ostal card, and that night
he was arresti d
Thus for the suko of a litilo business
label about the size ofu dos tage stamp
the St Joseph merchant, got into a dilti
culty with the St Joseph postmaster and
the Chicago postmaster; git the St Jo
soph postmaster and the Chicago post
master by tho cars; got the St Joseph
postmaster into trouble with the govern
incut, aud bus got himself into a tight
place, in which ho may have to pay from
$100 to ?1,000, or go to jail and stay
from one year to ten years before ho can
extricate himself.
Sundry Matters
If there is no insurance upon the
barn, one should bo procured without
delay. The vapor Irom a baroful of
new liny or grasn is one of the best co i
ductor of lightning. Batho tho wh do
body with cold water every night, and
rob briskly with a dry towel. This
brings refreshing sleep, and conduces
to health. Give the men aud boys a
bucket with soup and towels , that they
may do the same. They will work the
better for it.
A married lody, who is iu the halnt
of speudiug most of her time iu the
sooiety of her neighbors, happened t> lie
taken ill, nud sent Iwr hu?bau4 iu groat
haste fur a physician. The hus'eau I
run a short distance, aud thou returned,
exclaiming, "My dear, whore shall I
find you when 1 come back V*
Honor Your Calling.
It is a good sign when a man is proud
of hii^-work. Yet nothing is more cum -
mon A^ltan to hear men finding fault con
stantly with their particular business,
anil dooming themselves unfortunate be
c:iurce;i:fastoued to it, by the ncc;ssity of
gaining a livelihood. In this spirit men
fret, .?nd laboriously destroy all their
comfort in work.
Occasionally, a man fails in life be
cause' he is not in tho place fitted for
his peculiar talent; it happens ton times
ol'leucr that failure results from neglect
and even contempt of an honest busi
ness A man should put his heart
into everything that ho does. There is
not ti profession iu tho world that has
not its peculiar cares and vexaMoas. No
man will escape annoyance by changing
business. No meohauical business is
altogether agreeable. Commerce, in its
endless varieties, is affeeiei liko all
nthcv human pursuits, with trials, tin -
welcotno duties, and spiritliring necessi
ties, pit is the very wantonness of folly
for a man to search out the frets and
burdens of bis calling, and give his
mind, every day to a consideration of
then'iV They belong to human life.
Theyvnro inevitable. Brooding, then,
only gives them strength.
On ' the other hand, a man has a
p iwcr given him to shed baauty an I
pleasure' upon the humbles toil if ho is
wisel'Lct a man adopt bis business,Hud
identify it with his li!'e, and cover it
with, pleasant associations For Heaven
has given us imaginations uot alone to
make some men poets, but. to enable all
men; to bcauti y homely things Look
tit gnnd things. f Accept your lot as a
man 'docs a piece of rugged ground, and
begib to get out the rocks and routs, to
deepen and mellow the soil, to enrich
and plant it. 'J here is something iu tho
most forbidden avocation around which
may.twine pleasant fancies, out of whic h
may be developed an honest pride.
A man can impart to a business a
flavor of honor by his own conduct,
u lib !i shall make it hereafter more cred
itahle to any one who enteis it. Frank
lin left, upon the printing ullico an im
prest; which has bcueGttcd the profession
of j.iinters ever since. Blacksmiths
-Lu^Qto gpnnk of the uueaapmizod Flihu
Burrftt. One; lot a mail convert his
business into an instrument of honor,
beiicvoleuoi and patriotism, an.I from
that moment it is transfigured, and men
jud'je its dignity and merit, not by what
it externally is, but by wh it it his done
and can do. It is better to stick to
your business, mid by patient industry
and honorable enterprise to crown it
with honor, than to run away from it,
and to seek prosperity ready-made to
your hand. It is not what a man Jinds
that do&s him good, but what he docs.
"The (iootl old Times?
We shall hear from a thousand
stumps the Democratic clamor for a re
turn to.'the good old times.' Many a
hungry politician will hear the sound
and believe it the promise of the good
time when the cry. '1 am a I) miocrat!"
will open to the faithful the fattest
ollicos of the land. No doubt Tweed,
the dethroned king of Tamanuy, as he
sits with stripped .-ait and shaved iu
bis forced retirement and moralizes over
the degeneracy of the times, looks for
ward to the hour when the Democratic
wand shall upon his prison doors aud
reinstate him in the political kingdom
which he lost Wo have no dedre to
welcome tho return of the 'good old
limes.' We have lud enough of them.
They cost us over S:>,0 Ji),UiU>,0;)0 aud
over halt a million lives. We are doing
our best to repair tho injury, an 1 hope
in less than a score of years to wipe out,
the list Iraco of Democratic misrule.
We have reduced the debt nearly $10''),
000,000 iu ii little over five years, ami
shall continue its reduction until ever
cent is paid. But we pretest against
the retard of the times which forced
this burden on the nation. Once iu a
thousand years we might endure a like
experience, hat to go through it agiiu
during the present century Would tix
good nature beyond the point ol ondu
rauco. We might live through an epi
demic, be tranquil over the escape of
Tweed; read the details of the Brooklyn
scan 'ill every day in tho year, but noth
ingshort of a direct interposition ol
Providence could make us submit with
cheerfulness to the good old times of
Democracy. May the sacrifice never be
called for.
A pig was born recently in Columbus
with a half human fa CO and head, per
fect chin and mouth, signs of a largo
tusk on ono sido of the mouth, and a
perfect elephant's trunk oxtonded from
the forehead, with ears similarly shaped
to those of mi elephant. It will be au
interesting fact to psyeli dogists tj know
that a circus h id passe 1 through Uoluui
bus somo months before this pig was
born, and that there was an elephant
with it The maternal sow may have
seen tha elephalit ? hence tho above
monstrosity.'
The Fellow that Looks Like Me.
Max Adder, who writes for a Phila
delphia paper, has a friend named Slim
mer, who deserves pity. He was goiug
up to Heading not long since, and
when reaching the depot he happen od
to look in the lady's room. A woman
sat there with a lot of baggage and
three children, and when she saw Slim
mer she rushed toward him, aud before
he could defend himself she threw her
arms about his neck, nestled her head
upon his breast, and burst into tears.
Slimmer was amazed, indignant, con
founded ; aud cro ho could find uttcr
auce lor his feelings, she exclaimed?
"O. Henry, dear Henry 1 wo are
united at last. Are you well 7 Is
Aunt Martha still alive ! Haven't you
longed to sec your own Louisa?"
And she looked into Sliiuiuer's face
and smiled through her tears.
"Madam," said ho, solemnly, "if I
am the person alluded to ns Henry, per
mit mo to say that you have made a
mistake. My name is Lemuel, I have
uo Aunt Martlia, and I don't own a
solitary Louisa. Oblige mo by letting
go my coat; it exciter remark."
Then she buried her bonnet deeper
into his waistcoat, and began to cry
harder than ever, and said ?
"O, Henry, how can you treat me so?
How can you pretend that you are not
iny husband?"
"Madam," screamed Slitnmor, "if you
don't cease slopping my shirt bosom;
and remove jour umbrella from my
corn, I shall be obliged to call the
police. Let mc-go, 1 say."
"The children, aro here," she per
sisted. "They recognize their dear
lather; don't you, children ?"
-Yes, yes," tliey exclaimed, "it's pa;
it's our own dear pa."
And then they grabbed Slimmer by
his trowscr legs und hung to his coat
tail.
"Woman !'' he shrieked, "this is got
ting serious. Unhand mo, I say."
Aud ho tried to disengage himscIf
from her embrace?while all the brake
men aud the baggage master, and tho
newsboys sto^d tirouud, and said his
conduct was infamous.
J n the midst of tho struggle a
strnngor cutcred with a carpet bag. He
h.oked exactly like Slimmer?and wheu
he saw his wife in Slimmer's arms he
became excited, aud floored Slimmer
with that carpet-bag and sat ou him,
and smote his nose, and caromed on his
head, and asked him what he mornt
Slimmer was. removed on a stretcher,
and the enemy went oil" with his wile
aud family in a cab. He called next
day to apologize. His wife had made
the mistake becauso Of Slimmer's like
ness to him. Aud now Slimmer wishes
he may soon bo kicked in the faco by a
mule, so that he will resemble uo other
human being iu the world.
How They Finally Got Married.
One long simmer afternoon there
oatiiO to Mr- Davidson's the most curi
ous specimen of an old bachelor the
world ever heard of. He was old. gray
wrinkled and od 1. Hehnted old wo
men, especially old maide, and wosn't
afraid to say so. He and Auut Patty
had it hot whenever chance drew thorn
together; yet still he c:\mc, and it was
noticed that Aunt Patty took unusual
pain with her dress whoucver ho was
expected.
One day the contest waged unusul'ay
strong, aud Aunt Fatty left in disgust
and went oat into the garden.
'That bear; she muttered to herself as
she stopped to gather a flower which
attracted her attention
'What did you ruu for ?'said a gruff
voice behind her.
'To get rid of you ?'
'You didn't do it, did you ?'
'No; you aro worse tluu a burdock
bur.'
'You won't get rid of mo, cither.'
?I won't ch 7'
'.Only in ono way.'
iAnd that?'
'Marry mo.'
'What! us two fools get mar'riod!
W hat would peoplo say V
'That's nothing to us. Come, say,
yes or uo; I'm iu a hurry.'
Well, uo thou.'
'Very well; good by, I shau't come
nga in.'
'Stop a bit?-what a pucker you'ro
in.'
'Yes or uo 1'
'1 must conselt?'
'All right; 1 thought you were of age.
(Jood-by.'
"Would my little Ezra, asked a fond
mother, "like to be u missionary, aud go
preach to tho suffering heathen 7"
Tears?bright pearly drops ol feelings?
glistened in little Fzra's oyes as ho mur
in mod : "No, I wouldu't; but I'd liko
to be on tho pcrlioo long oiiough to put
n tin roof ou the big lummox that stuck
shoemaker's wax bu my seat to-day at
school."
According to Dr Afagin, no cigar
smoker ever committed ouieido.
Useful Information
,; Rhubarb |leaves scattered around will
kill and drive away crickets.
To clean marble, rub first with soda
and soft soap, tbcu wash as usual with
water.
The fumes of r. brimstone match will
remove berry stains from a book, paper,
or engraving.
A little black popper in some cotton
dippiod in sweet oil is ono of the quick
est remedies knowu for earache.
To remove iron rust from linen, ap
ply lemon-juice and salt and expose to
the sun. Make two applications if ueo
cssary.
Simply bind chips Jof wood, four or
fivo inches long, to tho ben's legs, leav
ing only the hip joints in working or
der, and this will euro her of sotting.
Calves do not injure an orohard, but
usually improve the fruit by picking up
the wormy fruit as soon as it falls, and
thus destroy tho insect eggs. ' Calves
soldo n are inclined to gnaw tho bark
or to injure even small trees; they will
sometimes rub against tho trees, but
could do uo damage unless to those new
ly set.
A Boston Negro's Opinion of Beech
er.
Rev. DoWitt Talmago tells the old
story here again; how, a few years ago,
he walked into a Presbyterian church
in Boston. As he entered, a colored
sexton, ncT attending tho colored con
vention in Saratoga, bowed and said ,
'Have a seat, sah V -Plenty of seats
dis inornin', sab.'
'No, 'hank you, can't stay but a mo
ment Just stepped in to see tho church
What is the name of the clergymau ?
Can't see very plain.'
'That, sab; is Rcvarand Henry Wad
Bcccba, sab !
'Fine preacher, isn't he?' returned
Idr. Talmago.
'Well, sab. peoples has difieront no
tions 'oout preachers?'
'But he seems quito animated/
'Yes, sab; cousib'blo animatod,' -
'And appoars to havo taloat/
'Well sib, as I said afo, peoples has
such different notions 'boat proiohers.
Bar's some dat tinks he's mighty good
on de words. I tink mysolf he's a far
man, sah?a very far man sab; but not
of the priuia facie class. He's a good
man, sah?a well meanin' man, but not
a talented man. He's a New York man
sab.'
A gentleman at Lake George, after
waving his handkerchief for half an
hour or more at an unknown lady, whom
he discovered at a distantpoioton the
shore, was encouraged by a warm re
sponse to bis signal to approach his
charmer. Imagine his feelings when,
on drawing nearer, he saw that it was
his own dear wife, whom ho had loft at
the hotel but a short time before.
"Why, bow remarkable wo should have
recognized each other at so great a dis
tance," exclaimed both in the same
broath, and then they changod the
subject.
If your sister fell into a well, why,
couldn't you rescue her? Boeauso
you conldu't be a brother aud assist her
too.
Not one of tho many balloon ascen
sions made this summer has produced a
fact to confirm the notion of a steady
easterly currents in tho upper air.
Don Piatt says shrewdly; ,Humor
is to a newspaper what a tail is to a
kite?very absurd but very necessary to
its ascension.'
Hair brushes with musical boxes in
their covers are tho latest invention.
A cockney says they will play a hair
while you are brushing your 'air.
For removing grease spots from any
fabric, use ammonia, nearly pure, thon
lay white blotting paper over tho spot
I and irou lightly .
j A student of auatomy says ho has
not yet been ablo to discover tho 'bone
of contention.' but ho thinks it must bo
situated near the jaw boner
'John,' .-aid a father to his son ono
day when bo caught him shaving the
down oil his upper lip, 'don't throw
your shaving water out whou thoro aro
bare footed boys, for they might got
their feet pricked,'
Wo often hear ol pooplo who aro too
poor to marry, but a California couple,
who had becu engaged for eotno time,
married becauso they could not afford to
keep two separate rooms in a boarding
house.
A lad who borrowed a dictionary to
road returned it after bo had got through
with the remark: It was werry nice
reading, but it somehow changed the
subject worry ofton.' It was his sister
tor who thought the Qrst ioo croatu sho
tasted was a lcctlc touohed with the
frost, .
