Newspaper Page Text
BY E. B. MURRAY & CO.
ANDERSON, S. C, THURSDAY MORNING, JANUARY 15, 1885.
VOLUME XX.?NO. 27.
ALWAYS
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FOB
DRUGS, MEDICINES, PERFUMERY,
Extnicts, Patent Medicines^
DYE 8TUITFS, &o.
A FULL Hue of Paints, Varnishes,
Combs, Brushes, Hair Oils, Bay
Bam, Toilet .Articles)' Perf'imery,
Face Powders, Finei Toilet Soaps,
Tooth Powders, Tootia Brushes, La?
dies' Hand Mirrors, Jlazors, Shayiog
Setts, Trusses, Shoulder Braces, Sup
posers, &c.
Pure, High Toned Flavoring Extracts,
?aking Powders and Soda, Pepper,
Allspice, Ginger, and Finest Teas in
the market Cigars and Tobacco.
JSgsti'^aj lAmp$ fand};Iiamp
Goods, and every variety of choice
Goods and necessary articles usually
kept in First Class Drug Stores and
used in families.
MEDICINES, all the
Standard and Reliable ones kept in
"stock. The sweetest fiind most ..deli?
cate Perfumes and Odors, and a full
line of Colognes and Toilet Water
always in-atock.
Chapped bands, face and lips are
very prevalent at this season of the
year, arid "nothing will cure and pre?
vent this annoying affliction so effectu?
ally as a box of Camphor Ice, Cosraa
luie, or some of our pure Glycerine.
CY GOODS and Sundries,
and a thousand and one other arti- ?
cles of general use may be found in
our complete stotk.
BST Oblige us by giving us a call, and
you will be surprised at our LOW
PRICES and superior quality of our
Goods.
With the compliments of the Season, wo are yours, Ac,
W1LHITE * WILHITE.
Jan 8,1885_
35 Dozen
" TsTIMROD" AXES,
- SO,000 lbs.
STEEL PLOWS,
lOO
w
TO BE SOLD AT BOTTOM PBICB8.
POCKET CUTLERY,
In Groat Variety.
TABLE CUTLERY,
Of all Grades.
BUY OUR "BOSS" HAND SAW,
Fully Warranted and sold for $1.50.
GUNS, AMMUNITION AND G?N IMPLEMENTS.
HARBWARE OF EVERY DESCRIPTION.
-o?:
Call on ns. Try us, and yon will always be pleased.
SULLIVAN & BRO.,
Look for tlie the SIGN of the CIBCULAB SAW.
Dec 18,1884 . 23_
GOODS WERE NEVER SO LOW.
This tact We are prepared to Prove to our Friends and
Customers who may favor us with a call,
WE are now receiving the largest and most carefully selected Stock of General Mer?
chandise which we have ever purchased, and will make it to your interest to
call and examine for yourselves. We have added to the lines.usually kept by us many
new and desirable ones, embracing?
Ladies' Dress Goods, Flannels, Suitings, Shawls, &c,
And the best CORSET on the market at 50c, worth $1.00, Also, a
A LARGE LINE OF READY MADE CLOTHING,
HATS, TRUNKS, UMBRELLAS,
BLANKETS, SADDLES and HARNESS.
AhCMbe Celebrated "NEW GLOBE" SHIRT?the king of all Shirts. It needs
only to be worn to be appreciated.
We are agents for the Celebrated Mishawaka 8ulky Piows, Cultivators and Hand
Turning Plows.
The VWb.it? Hickory" and "Hlckman" one and two-horse WAGONS, every one of |
which we guarantee*
The attention of Ginners and Farmers is called to our?
COTTON SEED AND GRAIN CRUSHER,
By which you can crush your Cotton Seed and make your Fertiliser.
. Get our prices on Plantation and Gin House Scales, Cotton Gins, Fgeders and Con?
densers and General Farm Machinery.
We are at all times in the Cotton Market, and will do you right. We will pay all
tiefe who owe us for Supplies and Guano an extra prloe.
A large lot of BAGGING and TIES at lowest pr.ee?.
Ort 2, \m
McCULLT, CATHCABT & CO.
BILL ARP'S VIEWS
On the Training a Boy Gets In College.
Atlanta Cbiuti?tlion.
It is right, I know, far a man to be
conservative and tolerant and respectfully
considerate of other people's opinions,
but how can a man be so and take the
papers. When he reads the nonsense of
men claiming to be educators he gels
disgusted with fools, and when he reads
the venemous lies and slanders of politi?
cians he is equally disgusted with knaves,
and so between the two their utterances
in the public press keeps him vexed
about half the time.
Nevertheless, it is the duty of a good
citizen to keep up with the age in which
he lives, for he can do something, and it
is his duty to read and be prepared for
coming events and raise bis voice on the
right side. It has been a great drawback
on the South that her people did not
read enough and were too contented
with their ignorance; but they are wak?
ing up now, and you can hardly find a
family in this region that does not take
some paper. I mix with our common
people a good deal and I know families
i who take a paper for the children to read,
although the parents cannot. This is all
right and it is encouraging. After a
poor farmer boy has learned to read and
write and cipher, he can get a right good
education from the papers, and he can
get it cheaper than any other way. I
would rather my boys would depend'on
three or four good papers, that would not
cost more than ten dollars a year, than
on fifty dollars worth of Latin and Greek
and algebra and geometry. They will
be of more benefit to bim in the practi?
cal business of life. Of course, if be is to
be a professional man, be must study the
sciences and go to college, but it is a
bazzard?a great bazzard to send a boy
to college, and the reason is plain. Four
years at school and four more at college
takes eight of the best years of a boy's
life, say from 12 to 20, the very years
that his physical system needs physical
exercise and physical training; the very
{'ears when his habits of life and for
ife are fixed ; the very years when be
should mix labor with study and let bis
brain and bis muscle all work along to?
gether and sustain each other. College
habits are habits of physical indolence.
A college boy has no education to work
anything but his brain when he comes
away, and looks around for business.
His physical nature abhors work?he
can't stand it. His habits are fixed and
habits are as binding as fetters, and he
sees no agreeable opening except the law
or medicine or politics, and so the land
is full of quacks, pettigoggers^and small
politicians who afflict the people and do
no good for themselves. These small law?
yers sit around town and watch for strife
among nabors like a buzzard watches for
a carcass. Tbey nurse and encourage all
sorts of petty litigation. The doctors
gallop off to see a sick patient and keep
im sick until it takes bis little crop to
pay the bill. The politicians get up a
rumpus in the newspapers and slander
one another until the people don't know
who to vote for, and they don't care.
And so it goes, and it would have been
better, far better, for the whole batch to
have stayed upon the farm and married
clever country girls, and gone to raising
children and chickens in an honest and
honorable way. Now if, I say if, the
college boys would go to farming I would
rejoice to see the boys go to college, for
the higher the education the more refined
is the happiness that knowledge gives
and the better farmers they would make,
but they will not. And for like reasons
I have never favored the bigher educa?
tion of the negro. His race is physically
ordained for Tabor, muscular labor, and
he likes it. A college life is bis utter
ruin as a man and a citizen, and he comes
out a genteel African vagabond. I re?
ceived a letter from one of them in
Atlanta the other day that was full of
profane abuse and blasphemy for the
views expressed in one of my letters, and
be demanded the name of that Boston
traitor, as he called him, who said he
pitied us when he saw the ignorant horde
that'had been entrusted with the ballot.
Well, thai darkey has been to college,
and is now an educated vagaboud. The
trouble with Mr. George W. Cable is
that he does not consider the negro as a
race bnt lets his large pbilanthropby con -
aider them individually. He finds a case
where a negro became an expert from
having the advantage of a high degree
of culture, and he makes him a type of
the race, and puts a demand upon us for
a like civilization to all. It reminds me
of the educated hog that, a few years ago,
was exhibited over the South, and could
play cards and tell the time uf day upon
a watch, but -I don't think it follows
that we should, therefore, educate all the
bogs in the country. The exceptions
always prove the rule. No negroes have
made any progress in arts, or science, or
politics, or the pulpit except those who
bad Caucassian blood in their veins. The
cross does well for a time, but it is
nature's last effort, for nature abhors it,
and from the unnatural union comes a
feeble posterity or none, after the first
generation. Some of the noblest colored
people I ever knew were of this kind.
Fred Douglas and Senator Bruce and all
the colored men of note are among them.
The barbers of the South are of them,
and almost without exception tbey are a
law-abiding, intelligent and well-man?
nered class of citizens. I have great re?
spect for them, lor they attend well to
their .business, and are entitled to more
respect than some of their customers.
Mr. Cable seems to think that justice to
the negro requires that we should mix
with them on equal terms in our churches
and schools and cars and hotels and
theatres, and this shows bis utter igno?
rance of the race as a race, for they will
tell him almost uniformly that they do
not want to mix. Tbey want equal privi?
leges, but they do not like to mix. The
race instinct is against it. Your recent
editorial on this subject was moat admira?
ble and most true, and this reminds me
to say that no philosopher or philanthro?
pist understands the negro like those
who were born and bred, with them, and
the negro knows it. He has to-day more
respect for the old masters than for bis so
called Northern friends. When he feels
fully assured that Democracy does not
mean slavery or oppression, but rather an
enlarged freedom and protection he will
no longer rely upon Northern politics or
Noithern promises, and will quietly affil?
iate with his own people. We are get?
ting along very well together now, aud
I think some of our abstractionists are
attaching too much importance to the
race problem. It is premature. It may
become a serious problem for our children
and my faith is they will be prepared for
it. It is Baid they are increasing more
rapidly than the whites. I have never
believed it and I put no trust in the cen?
sus that reports it. The birth rate may
be as great, but the death rate is at least
three to one. Our city records prove it
annually. They do not marry like they
used to, nor do they take as good care of
their children. But supposing tbey are
increasing more rapidly. It does not fol?
low that they ever will or ever can con?
trol the country or its government. A
few men control it now. Not the many
?money and property controls it,
and dways will. MoDey controls ua all,
whether we know it or not. Money ia
the lover of Archimedes and the negro
will never have it because he does not
want it. It is not his nature to accumu?
late. He lives and toils for his present
good. A few do acquire properly, but
ouly ;i few, and that proves the rule by
tho exception. He cannot accumulate
if he would, because he has no fitness for
the arts and the tricks of trade by which
most of our race get rich. The negro
rarely cheats or deceives Rny one in a
trade. He is frank and open and does
not k now bow to plot a fraud or conceal
it. Iin all this I admire him, for he is
unlike the white man. Solomon says "a
lie Bticketh close on the joints between
the buyer and the seller," but be meant
it for the Jew, and it is true of the Gen?
tile, but not of the uegro. The negro
will tteal, for that is an instinct of his
race and he cannot help it, but he will
not steal much. His inclination that
way h limited, but when a white man
steals, the more he gets the better satis?
fied he is.
Well, races are races, and we must
study them. This study will teach us
that the African, the black negro, was
by nature aud nature's God created and
fitted .lor labor rather than for college or
the theatre or the fine arts. But let the
experiment of high education go on.
Let usi try it for another twenty years,
and perhaps the problem will he solved.
In the meantime let Mr. Cable possess
his soi.l rn patience, and I hope the New
York Tribune will learn in due time why
it was that one million of the nation's
wards failed to vote for Blaine in the
last election. The editor of that Pacific
journal has put that conundrum at us
very frequently of late and seems impa?
tient for an answer. Well, we give it up.
Why don't be ask the wards? As the
Scriptures say, "He is of age, ask him."
I told John Thomas the other day that
one of his Yankee friends up North
wanted to know why he dident vote for
Blaine, and he slopped short and looked
surprised, and said: "Well, boas, what's
he got to do wid it?" And then I asked
anotheir darkey, and he said, "Goshamityl
boss, I didn't know be was a runnin'."
Bill Aep.
How Filz John Porter Hade an Ascen?
sion During the War.
President Lincoln was much interested
in the account of a perilous balloon as?
cension by Gen. Fitz John Porter on the
11th of April, 1862, near Yorktown, Va.
About 5 o'clock in the morning he
stepped into the car of Prof. Lowe's bal?
loon to go up and make a reconnoisance,
then to be pulled back to terra fJrma.
He supposed that the usual number of
ropes were attached to it, whereas there
was only oue, and a place in this, it was
aftenvaird ascertained, had been burned
by vitriol, used in generating the gas.
Taking his seat in the car, unaccompanied
by anyone, the rope was let out to nearly
its full length?the length was about 900
yards?crhen suddenly snap went the
cord and up went the balloon. This was
an unexpected part of the programme.
The men below looked up with astonish?
ment, and the General looked down with
equal bewilderment.
"Open the valve," shouted one of the
men below.
"I'll manage it,,' responded the Gener?
al.
Up went the balloon, higher, higher.
It rose with great rapidity, its huge form
lessened as it mounted into tho regions of
the upper air. It became a speck in the
sky. The wind was taking it in the di?
rection of the enemy's territory. By this
time every staff officer and hundreds of
others were looking at the moving speck.
It is impossible to describe the anxiety
felt and expressed for him, the central
object of thought in the f?.r away moving
speck, every moment becoming less visi?
ble. It seemed to move toward the
Union army, and the countenances there
brightened with hope. It passed over
the heads of the Union men. Soon it
began tD descend, but with a rapidity
that aroused renewed apprehension.
Quickly a equad ot cavalry plunged spurs
into their horses and dashed away in the
direction of the descending balloon.
The test of the story is aa received
from the General's own lips. While the
rope was being played out he adjusted
his glasii in readiness for his proposed
view of the'enemy's territory. A sudden
bound oi' the balloon told him in a mo?
ment the t the rope had gives way. He
dropped the glass, heard the call, "open
the valve," made the response given above,
and set about looking for the valve. He
was sensible of being flighty, (the Gen?
eral loves a pun as well as the next one,)
but was not at all nervous. He saw the
wind had taken him over the line of
rebel entrenchments. Having no wish
to drop in among them, he let the valve
take care of itself, and proceeded to take
advantage of his position to note the
aspect of rebel objects below. Crowds
of soldiers rushed from the woods, and
he heard their shouts distinctly. Lucki?
ly be was above the reach of their bul?
lets, so he was not afraid on this Bcore.
The map of the country was distinctly
discernible. He saw Yorktown and its
works, York River and its windings, and
Norfolk and its smoky chimneys. A
counter curreot of air struck the balloon,
and its course was reveraed. Its retreat
from over rebeldom was rapid. He open?
ed the valve, the gas escaped, and down
he came. He could not say how fast he
came down, but it was with a rapidity he
would not care to have repeated. The
car struck the top of a shelter tent, under
which, luckily, no one happened to be at
the time, knocked the tent into pi, and
left him enveloped in a mass of collapsed
oil silk. He crawled out and found him?
self in the middle of a camp, not 100
yards from Gen. McClellan's headquar?
ters.
Heathenism in North Carolina.
A young lady of this place who has
been teaching school in a neighborhood
in the Eastern portion of the county,
returned home last week, when she
learned for the first time that Cleveland
was elected President. The head of the
family with which she boarded took no
paper, none of his neighbors took any,
and it was currently reported that Blaine
vi as elected and everybody believed it.
We have been in the habit of contribut?
ing something every year for the purpose
of sending the gospel to the heathens,
but we are now considering whether it
would not be better for us to appropriate
what we have to give next year to send
the light to some of the darkened por?
tions of Union County. They undoubt?
edly need it.?Monroe Enquirer.
? Emeralds, pure and beautiful, have
been discovered in North Carolina. The
cut stones set have sold for $100 a karat,
and are eagerly sought for by dealers.
One gem, weighing two and a half karats,
has been purchased by the British
Museum.
? Josh Billings: The infidel, in his
impudence, will ask you to prove that
the flood did occur, when the poor idiot
himself knnt even prove, to save his life,
what makes one apple sweet and one
sour, or tell whi a ben's egg iz whitg and
a dnk's egg blue.
Stranger than Fiction.
Some twenty odd years ago, there dwelt
in California a family of three persons,
father, mother and daughter. The latter
was a mere child. All were youDg. The
father was a physician. Unfortunately,
he injured his not very extensive practice
by intemperance. His habits became so
dissipated, that the poor wife, despairing
of bis reformation and also of the possi
bility of independent action on her own
part to secure support for himself and
child, proposed a separation. The man
agreed to it; but he was not put out like
Rip Van Wiukle. He was assured that
while he lived she would never cease to
help him, and that when he mended his
ways, their old relations should be restor?
ed. He departed to cure himself, if
possible, and become worthy of the wo?
man, who, sorely beset, undertook the
maintenance of the family. Encouraged
by his wife's prayers, letters and heroic
conduct, the doctor redeemed himself.
At least he thought so, and his poor wife
was more than willing to believe it. He
returned to her home and heart, warmly
welcomed back to both. Unluckily, he
bad either miscalculated his will-power
or the demon of indulgence was simply
asleep, and by no means dead within
him. He went back to bis cups, and
very soon the skeleton finger of poverty
was laid upon his domestic affairs, The
devoted wife, unwilling to undertake
another experimental separation, and
unable to remain where she was, determ?
ined to try what change of scene would
do for thia miserable man, who, naturally
kind, talented and wholesome, appeared
to be insanely abandoned to the devil of
strong drink. Just at this crisis, rumors
.had reached California of the Comstock
Lode discovery, and thither many of the
mining population drifted. Across the
Sierrass to Virginia City this little and
most wretched family journeyed. The
doctor pulled himself together for a while
and did some business, but his health
was gone and very soon he died. Widow
and orphan were left in the very depths
of poverty. The generous miners had
clubbed together to bury the doctor.
They made up a purse for the mother
and child, from time to time, and thus
Baved both from utter deprivation of food,
shelter and raiment. There was, at that
time, superintendent of one of the mines,
a sturdy young Irishman, who, from the
lowest rounds of the ladder, had begun
to push his way to fortune. He was not
then more than comfortably well off, and
little dreamed of the Monte Christo
casket in store for him. He used to car?
ry the weekly or monthly stipend to the
widow, and his visits to ber became more
and more frequent. At last he married
her and her days of fear on the score of
poverty were over. She possessed a
well-to-do husband, who was the master
of his passions, and certain to make his
way in the world. But, in the days of
distress, the unhappy woman had resort?
ed to the morphine habit, and could not,
of her own effort, release herself from it.
A young physician at Virginia City, who
bad recently graduated in France, in?
formed her that if she would visit Paris
and put herself implicily under the care
of his old master there, her cure could be
guaranteed. While the husband remain?
ed to uncover, with the present junior
Senator from Nevada, the richest silver
deposit tbe world bus ever known, the
wife crossed the seas and submitted to a
rigorous medical treatment. It was suc?
cessful after many months of endurance.
Meanwhile the famous California and
Consolidated Virginia mines were pene?
trated by the husband, and the world
reuowned big bonanza, of which he was
principal owner, made him at least forty
times a millionaire. The wile in Paris,
now perfectly cured and Dloomiog, at
once rose into prominence and celebrity,
for how could the marvel-loving Parisians
help adoring a woman whose talents and
beauty were matched by such fabulous
wealth so romantically discovered. For
years, this lady, who is no other than
Mrs. John Mackay, has been a Silver
Queen in the most splendid capital of
Europe. She has lived in palaces.
Noblemen and men of genious have paid
court at her shrine. She outshone tbe
Empress, when the empire survived, and,
during the alleged Republic, she has re?
fused for her daughter the hand of roy?
alty itself. Money, world without end,
hi s been at her disposal and she has
lavished her gold like one born in the
purple. It was wittily said that when
the French Government declined to al?
low her to illuminate, at her own expense,
the Arc de Triompbe, she banteringly
offered to buy it at the Government's own
price I Her sister married an Italian
count, said to be a genuine article, who
was rich, distinguished, enterprising and
a gentleman. He has for sometime been
building railways from Texas to Mexico.
Mrs. Mackay is a devout member of tbe
Catholic Cburcb, and ber alms giving is
munificent as her powers of conversion
are said to be as potent, in some direc?
tions, as those of Monsignor Capel in
others. Though thoroughly good and
pious, she has a woman's pardonable
vanity as to personal pulchritude, which
is all the more precious to her because it
is about to vanish. Hence her world
famous quarrel with the illustrious Meis
sonier, whose portrait of her was pro?
nounced by her friends a "perfect fright,"
while the old artist and bis cabal insisted
that it was a triumph of realism. At
any rate, Mrs. Macksy paid $25,000 for
the canvas, and, to the horror of many
Frenchmen who value the least work of
the great master as a spark of divinity,
she threw it into the fire, and commis?
sioned the equally eminent Bonnat to do
her lineaments justice for another great
sum of circulating medium.
And now, while ber opulent husband,
along with Mr. James G. Bennett, has
laid another ocean cable to compete with
rival Gould lines, the world is startled
by a fresh sensation from the female
portion of this remarkable family. All
Paris, and therefore all the universe, is
in a ferment over the approaching mar?
riage of Miss Mackay and the Prince
Colonna. The drift is nuptially to
Rome, "the City of the Soul," and to
Italian nobility. It is a miraculous
bridging of the chasm that lies between
the mining gulcb of the Nevada moun?
tains and St. Peter's Church, where
stands, in supernal splendor, "the grand?
est dome that mortal hand has painted
against God's loveliest sky." But God,
in his providence, who inspired the poor
young woman to wander to the Comstock
Lode aud there meet and wed John
Mackay, so soon to be the modern
Aladdin, has led the mother and daugh?
ter from chapter to chapter of eventful
life whose truth is indeed stranger than
fiction. Little did the widow of the
wretched doctor of Virginia City im?
agine that she would fairly roll in wealth,
dwell in palaces, be courted by Church
and State, be familiarly associated with
the proudest names of the decendants of
the Crusaders, and finally become the
mother-in-law of a Prince Colonna,
whose nobility dates back almost to the J
time of Saladin. The family name is as
famous as any in history, and the reader
of the annals of the earth who has not
heard of the hero of Lepanto, the superb
Cardinal aud the never-to-be forgotten
Victoria, who inspired the immortal
Michael Augelo to his highest and best
achievements?such a reader, we say,
who knows not of these memorable and
glorious representatives of the Colonna
must be content to remain in ignorance,
which is hardly bliss. The heir of the
Colonna family is, therefore, at twenty
seven years of age, to wed the daughter
of the poor doctor who fell by the way?
side in Nevada, and sleeps his last sleep
in that stony desert. The proudest noble
of the whole of Europe, with one of the
mightiest genealogical records, is to wed
the adopted daughter of John Mackay,
about a quarter of a century since a com?
mon or rather uncommon miner, once
poor as the traditional church mouse
and now phenomenally rich like one of
Jules Verne's heroes stepping from the
covers of bis most improbable romance.
By Jovei it is the most extraordinary
fact of modern society and perhaps the
most curious example of the happening
of the improbable since the sou of a
Corsican attorney became Emperor of
France and conqueror of Kings.
Let us hope that Mrs. Mackay may
not, with her honest lord and excellent
daughter, land on a financial St. Helena
after some speculative Waterloo. Such
a contingency and finale would appear
to be impossible; but when one remem?
bers what Grant was and what he is now,
it is rash to try predictions based on sub?
lunary dispensations. At present, the
Mackay star is in the ascendant. True
the Comstock Lode is played out and the
mines are filled with water. True the
Digger Indians threaten to make Nevada
the burlesque of a State. True riches
often take unto themselves wings and
fly away. But, in all human probability,
the present generation oi Mackays will
continue to flourish on earth, die in regal
paraphernalia and be gratefully remem?
bered after death in cathedral aisles.
And some day, very remote, when the
Italian chronicler has occasion to record
some singular phase in the history of his
native land, not the least glorious an?
nouncement may be that a princely de?
scendant of Mrs. Maclrav's daughter was
worthy of the great Admiral who beat
back the Ottoman power on the sea, the
noted Pontiff who gave new lustre to art,
the stern patrician who lowered the pride
of Riezr.i, and the angel of beauty and
genius whose name shall live with that
of Angelo "while there's an echo left to
air."?Chronicle and Constitutionalist.
The Greatest Evil of this Nation,
Drunkenness is the greatest evil of
this nation, and it takes no logical pro?
cess to prove that a drunken nation can?
not long be a free nation. 1 call your
attention to the fact that drunkenness is
not at a standstill; but that it is on an
onward march and it is a double quick.
There is more rum allowed in this coun?
try, and of a worse kind, than was ever
allowed since the first distillery began its
work of death. Where there was one
drunkjn home there are ten drunken
homes. Where there was one drunkard's
grave there are twenty drunkards' graves.
According to the United States Govern?
ment figures, in 1840 there were 23,000,
000 gallons of beer aold. Last year there
were 551,000,000 gallons. According to
the governmental figures, in the year
1840, there were 5,000,000 gallons of wine
sold. Last year there were 25,000,000
gallons of wine. It is on the increase.
Talk about crooked whiskey?by which
men mean the whiskey that does not pay
tax to the government. I tell you all
strong drink is crooked. Crooked otard,
crooked cognac, crooked schnapps, crook?
ed beer, crooked wine, crooked whiskey,
because it makes a man's path crooked,
and his life crooked, and his death crook?
ed, and his eternity crooked. If I could
gather all the armies of dead drunkards,
and have them come to resurrection, and
then add to that all the armies of living
drunkards, five or ten abreast, and then
if I could have you mount a horse and
ride along that line for review you would
ride that horse until he dropped from ex?
haustion, and you would mount another
horse and ride until he fell from exhaust?
ion, and you would tike another and
another and you would ride along hour
after hour and day after day. Great
hosts, in regimenta, in brigades; great
armies of them; und then if you had
voice enough stentorian to make them all
hear, and you could give the command,
"Forward?march!" their first tramp
would make the earth tremble. I do not
care which way you look in a community
to day, the evil is increasing. I call your
attention to the fact that there are thou?
sands of people born with a thirst - for
strong drink?a 'act too often ignored.
Along some ancestral lines there runs the
river of temptation. There are children
whose swaddling clothes are torn off the
shroud of death. Many a father has
made a will of this sort: "In the name
of God, amen. I bequeath to my chil?
dren my houses and lands and estates,
share and share shall they alike. Hereto
I affix my hand and seal in the presence
of witnesses." And yet, perhaps, that
very man has made another will that the
people have never read and that has
never been proved in the courts. That
will, put in writing, would read some?
thing like this: "In the name of disease
and appetite and death, amen. I bequeath
to my children my evil habits, my tank?
ards shall be theirs, my winecup shall be
theirs, my destroyed reputation shall be
theirs. Share and share alike shall they
in the infamy. Hereto I affix my hand
and seal in the presence of all tbe ap?
plauding harpies of hell."?Dr. Talmage,
in Frank f^csHe's Sunday Magazine.
Not n Beggar.
"Gentlemen," he began in a smooth,
molassc3 sort of voice, "'I am dead broke
but no beggar. I want to raise about
three dollars, but I shall do it in a legiti?
mate manner. Now, then, let me ask
you to'inspect this."
He took from his pocket a piece of iron
chain as large as his thumb and contain?
ing six links, and passed it around. Af?
ter it had carefully been inspected by
each of the party he continued:
"I want to bet my overcoat, which is
certninly worth $10, against S3 in cash
that none of you can separate one link
from tbe others."
The piece of chain was passed around
again to be more closely scrutinized, and
finally one of the party, who was a ma?
chinist, returned it with tbe remark :
"And I want to put up that amount
against your overcoat that you can't do it
yourself." ,
"Done !" said the stranger, as he pulled
of his coat.
Coat and cash were put in the hands of
a stakeholder, and the stranger asked tbe
crowd to follow him. He walked across
the street and into a blacksmith shop, and
picking up a hammer and cold-chisel, be
deliberately cut out a link. The crowd
stood around like so many pumpkins at
a county fair, but when the stranger held
up tbe link and claimed the stakes the
machinist recovered his wits sufficiently
to exclaim:
"Sold by a professional deadbeat! The
money is yours, old fellow, but in exactly
thirty seconds after you receive it I shall
begin to kick, and you had better be
twenty rods off 1"
"Thanks?glad to have met you?good
day 1" replied the strange^ and be was
ottt of sight in seVe'n seconds. ,
BLAZONED WEDDINGS,
Why Weddings Should be Private.
From the Courier-Journal.
Weddings are almost always regarded
by women as joyous events, and worthy
of* jubilant commemoration. The glee
ful unanimity with which they respond
to an announcement of a wedding, the
alacrity with which they attend it, and
the sentimental excitement it produces
in them, are as remarkable as they are
universal. Men, however, unless very
young, are not apt to share their enthusi?
asm and transport on this subject. They
may want to be married?though this is
doubtful?as much as women ; but tbey
do not feel so sure that marriage will
bring happiness. Knowing more of life
and human nature, particularly of their
own, they look beyond the present; they
see the iisk; tbey understand that the
fairest prospects may be most deeply
shadowed. Women are prone to shut
their eyes to everything but the immedi?
ate. To them, sufficient for the time is
its radiant promise. The day of joyous
ness has no to-morrow. Every marriage
ought to be bappy, therefore it will be.
Men think more and feel less, and their
thought is, "Marriage is uncertain; if
not harmonious it begets wretchedness.
Who can predict hp-mony? Who can
preclude wretchedness V
We hear continually of the fine in?
stincts of woman; but they seem sadly
at fault in regard to wedlock, which
should put them at their best. What
is the use of instincts if they mislead a
woman in tbe most important occurrence
of her life; if tbey do not tell her whom
to accept as a husband; if they can not
save her from a partial or total wrecking
of her peace ? She appears to be a bet?
ter judge of man under any other cir?
cumstances than those wherein he asks
her to be bis wife. It may be that bis
offer so flatters her; that the phrase "I
love you 1" so unsettles her intelligence
as to render ber incapable of discretion.
Whatever the cause of her mental myopy,
whatever the effect of a formal proposal,
she certainly commits, at that crisis,
many and extraordinary blunders.
Cynics might Bay that she is to anxious
to be married that she is not fastidious
concerning tho man. But this is seldom
true. Any woman can get a husUand, if
she tries?not, perhaps, the kind of bus
band she wants, or ought to have, but a
very tolerable husband, as such creatures
go. In view of the feminine passion for
weddings, woman's willingness to become
a wife, under unfavorable aspects, might
be measurably explained by ber determi?
nation to add one more to the intermi?
nable list, even at tbe price of being
herself a connubial martyr.
There can be no objection to weddings,
but tbe majority of brides, and all their
feminine friends and acquaintances have
an ardent prejudice in behalf of showy,
sensational, widely trumpeted weddings.
A quiet, private ceremony, to which only
a few of tbe nearest and dearest are in?
vited, where everything is simple and
plain, is likely to be disapproved by
most of tbe gentler sex. Tbey seem to
think marriage incomplete,unless it be
gilded, inflated, and, in the French sense,
exploited. They waut to have a grand
time, a social crush, and a deal of form
and pomp, an excess of fuss and frib?
bling. Men, generally, do not incline to
such ostentatious frivolity, but yield to
the woman's bias in the matter, and her
love of nuptial display. The fact con?
cerns them far more than its surround?
ing. They would usually liiko to have
the thing over as quickly and quietly as
possible; they would be glad to dispense
with all tbe tinseled superfluities and
momentous mummery. This does not
arise from delicacy or sensibility on their
part, although delicacy or sensibility
might suggest it. So much preparation
and ado bores them, and they wish to be
bored as little as may be at the outset,
possibly with a prophetic dread of all
they may be called upon, subsequently,
to endure. Tbey must be acquitted of
responsibility for tbe noisy, spectacular
weddings which are so common in every
American-city in these days, especially
in the metropolis.
Women are to blame for these, and it
is strange how many sensible, refined,
wellbred women?so considered?are
willing to lend themselves to a custom
that good sense, refinement and breeding
should never sanction. The reason is
that they see but one side of the thing?
tbe side of demonstrativeness and display.
They so love and honor marriage that
tbey believe it can cot be too richly and
grandly celebrated. Each wedding to
them is ideal, and they imbue it with
the light and color of their imagination.
They lose sight of the bride and groom
in the rites that are observed, fancying,
perhaps, that if tbe rites are splendid
tbe connubial feature will be fair?that
what begins well, as tbey regard it, must
end well. Ab women incline to supersti?
tion tbey are probably superstitious
about weddings. They may hope to
conciliate the deities that preside over
wedlock by tbe pomp of it3 commemora?
tion. Tbe other side, tbe fitness or un
fitness of tbe couple for the new condi?
tion, their temperamental harmony or
disharmony, tbe seriousness, even solem?
nity of the occasion, its proper privacy,
tbe natural unwillingness of a sensitive
pair to proclaim their happiness before
tbey have had any opportunity to test it,
none of this occurs to them. All the
finer considerations of a blending of
lives, of the grave accountability as?
sumed, of tbe hazard undertaken, of the
numberless chances against any single
couple setting out on so perilous a jour?
ney are wholly ignored. If they were
not, who would have the temerity to
chant peans of victory before the battle
had commenced?
Apart from all questions of the pro?
priety of spectacular weddings, how im?
prudent, how unsafe tbey are i When
tbey are quiet and informal, virtually
private, as they all should be, their out?
come, if unfortunate, is seldom noticed,
and never excites general comment. The
discord, separation or divorce is regretted
by the friends of the illadjusted couple
who are spoken of with tender pity.
There are no sharp and painful contrasts
between the union and disunion. The
mistake was one that could not have been
foreseen; the disharmony was probably
inevitable; tbe sad result is mentioned
with sympathy, and in a semi-confiden?
tial way. Caution was at last observed.
There was no tempting of Fate by osten?
tatious bravado; there was no arrogant
assumption of securing Fortune's smiles.
What happened to that couple might
have happened to any couple.
How different when a bride and groom
advertise their marriage far and wide;
invite all their acquaintances, fill the
house with flowers; turn the occasion
into an elaborate festivity, wherein jew?
els, velvets, satins and laces are displayed
in barbarous profusion, aud ingenuity is
tortured to increase expenditures. It is
well enough, some one may say, if they
like it and can afford it. But it is not
well enough under any circumstances.
Such liking springs from perverted
tastes. Nobody, whatever his or her
we llth, can afford to be prodigal at such
a time. Spectacular weddings are in
?bald be if all the so-called ladies |Q the
land should advocate and t?te part in
them. The finest women do not approve
them and are not so married. Their del?
icacy revolts at such pomp, and shrinks
from such violation of the plainest pro?
prieties. At every wedding of this kind,
the presents are displayed and labeled,
and their quality and cost published in
the newspapers, along with the full toilet
of the bride; not her gowns alone, but
even her underwear, her stockings, every
shred of her esoteric wardrobe. Is this
nice; is tbis womanly; is this decent?
Every properly organized person
knows tha<; it is not. Such things
would be incredible if they were
not so continually done, and done, too
?which is still more incredible?by those
pluming themselves on their ladyhood.
Ladyhood in sooth I It is evident that
in the social, world there are ladies and
ladies ; that what some of them habitu?
ally do witaout the slightest hesitation
others coulc! not think of doing without
a fiery blush.
Formerly , when a bride's entire ward?
robe with every connubial detail bad
been advertised in the newspapers, it was
assumed that the prying irrepressible re?
porters, on whose shoulders so many sins,
not their own, are usually laid, had sur?
reptitiously obtained the particulars.
This assumption is no longer made.
The mother, sister or other near kins?
woman of the bride meets the reporters
eagerly, and furnishes them with com?
plete information of the most indelicate
sort, on the ground that, in matters so
momentous, entire accuracy is absolutely
necessary. The transparent fact is that
the bride, as well as those related to her,
are resolved to have her bridal, and
everything connected with it, blazoned
before the public, irrespective of propri?
ety. She and they might claim that the
marriages or titled and prominent per?
sons in the Old World monarchies are
copiously chronicled, and that the ma?
jority of nev/spaper readers enjoy such
gossip. Thin is true enough; but the
Old World monarchies are not examples
for a Republic and a pure Democracy,
and no sensitive man or woman would be
willing to grutify vulgar curiosity unless
petty self-love were sorely involved.
The unsafely of a spectacular wedding
is shown by the fact that a large propor?
tion of marriages prove disappointments,
often bitter, very bitter, disappointments.
It has been asserted that more than one
half of them turn out badly, and that at
least two-thirds of them would better
never have occurred. This mav or may
not be correct. There are, unfortunate?
ly, no statistics on this important subject.
But enough is known to clearly denote a
certain hazard in every matrimonial ven?
ture ; and in many such ventures a posi?
tive peril. It may be conceded that
tbey who possess sufficient means to war?
rant them, financially, in a pompous
wedding?mnny do not scruple to secure
one by credit?would have less prospect
of serious disharmony than those of
slender income. It is easy to see that
a rich couple are not nearly so depend?
ent on one another as a poor couple;
that their friction is necessarily less;
that their chances of contentment, or
silent resignation, are increased. Pover?
ty is always a fearful strain, especially in
marriage, and it is bard to hide the
strain. Many rich husbands and wives
who now live in apparent accord, and are
real led happy, from ignoracC3 of their
mutual feelings and attitude, would have
jarred apart long ago, had their circum?
stances been straitened.
If women insist, as tbey seem to, on
some grand demonstration or parade in
regard to marriage, let them defer it un?
til a number of its anniversaries have
passed?five at least, tho' ten wou)d be
better. While couples often adjust
themselves to one another in a year or
two, it is unwise to believe all peril over
until they hfivfe bad longer experience
together. Not infrequently pairs sepa?
rate after fifteen or twenty years of wed?
ded bliss; but commonly tbey find out
much earlier, their irreconciliable incom?
patibility. Few have the patience or the
fortitude to bear with one another's
period of trial should not be less than
ten years, to insure prudence. If tbey
have so far borne and forborne, sinned
and suffered, forgiven and been forgiven
?all marriage is a series of adaptations
and compromises?let them celebrate
their tin wedd ing with such pomp and
parade as tbey may 1 Then they will, in
all probability, have passed the danger
point, and they will have cause to rejoice
that they havti escaped rocks on which
so many conjugal ventures have been
wrecked. But. all discretion forbids the
cry of victory ere the first blow has been
struck.
Juntos Hbkbi Bbowne.
Safe Burglary's Progress.
The Philadelphia Star learns from a
reformed safe blower that the latest freak
of the skilled professional cracksman is
in taking advantage of the adamantine
properties of the corrundum, which tbey
apply in a very novel manner, to-wit:
Taking advantage of the rotary motion
which the spindle affords, the finest tem?
pered steel spindle can be ground down
in a few hours (by the same method that
the glass stoppers of decanters are ground)
to such reduced proportions as to admit
the insertion of any amouut or kind of
explosives through the crevice thereby
made between the spindle and the door.
"How is it clone V1
"The modun operandi is as follows:
The safe, if of a moderate size, is laid
upon its back, a strip or thong of leather
ot the necessary length ia looped over the
knob of the spindle, a man at each end
of the strap pulling alternately produces
a rapid revolution of the spindle. The
process being identical with the drill-bow
of the jeweler or the gunsmith, but being
on a larger sc? lo is accomplished by the
greater force and more rapid motion.
The next requisite is the use of a small
stream of water charged with corundum
or emery powder, which is judiciously
made to trickle against the periphery of
the spindle, and between the spindle and
the body of the door, which, as it carries
with it the powder in solution?both
obeying the laws of gravitation, thus
readily penetrating the inmost crevices
?the constant revolution of the spindle,
or, more properly, the see saw motion of
the leather strap, rapidly grinds down
the face of the spindle and the surround?
ing metal. Coarser grades of corrundum
are used as the grinding proceeds. In a
very short period this labor reduces the
originally well fitting spindle to the con?
dition of the husband axle of a worn-out
cart or wagon, thus enabling the expert
cracksman to insert his explosive material
should it be considered necessary."
"How abou; larger safes and bank
vaults?"
"Large safes are operated upon in sub?
stantially the same manner, with the ex?
ception that, Icing too cumbersome to
upset, a funnel and a short rubber tube
is used to permit the plan and use of the
grinding mixture to penetrate the crev?
ices, and the rapid see-saw of the strap
does the rest of the work."
"Is there nothing yet invented, or in
use, or any substance known, that can
successfully prjveut this new method of
gafc destruction ?"
"Not that I um aware of."
extent. But the
