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?VODNI AND 010 J
1 * ?N m ARMY 1
Lieutenant fCon?y', ?u?ke* came
?ut of the wk?ty, M<W ? the
bachelors' fl^**: ??d. - starts
jauntily do*!*??. ?#$ar line beat
ing in bis hand a (rite.
j3e was immediately surrounded
by tho abundant supply oj? Frni?l
b0V3 from the officers' qTtajrters, all
of whom were armous tor tho kite.
He picked out voung 'Arthur be
cause the boy was so fond of sport
and never cried when thrown from
his pony, but yojong Smart of the
cavalry, lounging on. the bachelors'
piazza, stirred up "Mr." Dawdle of
tho infantry b^ remarking, 'You
will get left, plebe, for there goes
Toney boot licking thut boy again,
.and he is sure of an invitation to
tea, and you know what that means.":]
"That boy" was the captain's son,
and tho captain's wife had a young
lady sister visiting her, whom ?oney
bad already escorted for a ride on a
But this is all byplay to the'Id's
?tory. Toney took out of his pocket
a ball of cord, 'borrowed from the
commissary sergeant for the occa
sion, and straightened the kite tail,
jnade of old yellow stripes cut from
scouting trousers. Everything be
in^ ready, he called out, "Hold her,
my son, and I will run her up for
you, and then she is yours."
Toney started in quarter race
time, encouraged by frantic veils
from the boys; but, alas, just as
Arthur's young aunt was merrily
applauding from the piazza the kite
commenced to duck in the most
cowardly fashion, and the faster
Toney ran the more it ducked.
"Sumpen's the matter," said Ar
" 'Tain't got the right sort o' tail,"
eai? another;"tieaxock tocher," and.
many similar .pieces of advice came
from all the boys at -once.
By this time the piazzas were,
filled with spectators, and tne men
waiting for mess call sailed out on
the barrack porches to see the fun,
when old Major Stuffy started to
ward the boys with that important
air which he thought becoming to
-one so old, "be gad, dragoons, be
fore the war, sir!"
"1 say, Toney, you want to short
-en up the center bridle and make
her stand on the wind like this,"
said the old anajorj taking hold of
Toney, who was puzzling his mind
as to where he could get more kite
tail without tearing up his only ex
tra pair of sheets, looked up and
remarked, "Well, old man, what do
you know about kites anyway,?" <
Now, Major Stuffy,had always
been very partial to Toney and
showeddt by always joking with him
while swelling with i|l fitting dig
nity in his intercourse with all the
subalterns. The old gentleman's
nerves had been a littler shaken for
a few days because tfce infantry
colonel and brevet S major general,
commanding the -Spoit?"one 'of
those damned volunteers, you know"
?had added insult to injury by
sending him an order not to drive
any more government, horses in bis
private conveyance. Toney'a li^ht
and airy remark upset the major
completely, and he was on the point
of venting his rage on him when
who of all others should come stroll
ing out'but tho commanding officer
himself. He who had'won his stara
for bravery and conspicuous serv
ices from Perry vilie to Besaca cer
tainly ought to know all about kites.
The excitement on the parade was
too much for the old gentleman, and
dismissing "his orderly to dinner he
raised his sun umbrella and remark
ed to his excellent spouse, "I will go
and show then' how to put m>va
kite." The very idea seemed, to make
him young again, and he threw out
his chest and squared, his shoulders
as if he were. ftom?" tor take a new
lease of life; * He joined the group
around the kite, and Major Jtuffy
braced himself pompously and sa
luted with an air which plainly said,
"I'll stand me ground, be gad, sir if,
"How do you* do, Mr. Buckerr"
said the general blandly. "I see that
your kite doesn't work right, and"?
"It will be all right in a moment,
sir. I have sent to the troop tailor
for more tail."
"But, Mr. H?cker, when I was a),
boy"?he; retires for old age "next
year?"w? "never made -long , tails.
You just split the. plac?s you have
and tie some knots them. Then
shorten up the bridle and make her
"Just what I told the general,?
said the major eagerly, "and he in
sulted me, sir! Yee, tor; this ^onng
fellow that has not been in the serv
ice ten years, sir, asked me what did
I know about kites, sir!"
Now, Major Stuffy had been avoid
ing the general ever since ho had re
ceived the communication about tho
horses and bad even declined invi
tations to several garrison affairs
for fear of meeting him, but ho was
greatly soothed when the general
turned aiid said:
"Why, major, I am astonished,
sir I Mr. Backer, what do you rnear,
sir, by speaking to Major.Stuffy in
this way, sir? Ah old man and val
ued officer of your. regiment, too,
tir! I will not alloiv such things in
my garrison, sir !"
"But, general, I did not intend to
hurt the mask's Jeejines., I guess
I don't know much about lrites^any
way, boys, so yen take itY out behind
the barracks and fly it to suit your
> selves/' said Toney iri a hopeless
kind of way.
'It will not go up unless you
change the bridle, as suggested by
the Tnajd?1/' o a id'the general.
"And split the tall and knot it, as
the general explained* boys/' said
tTonijs'lefb ?be two old veterans,
and as ho entered the bachelors'
quarters he was muttering maledic
tions on the /'old duffers* who had
spoiled all his plans,
V The sudden disappearance of To
ney* am the . boys left the two old
gentlemen, along on the parade,'and
the whole garrison was enjoying
their dilemma. The general hc.u
med and hawed a moment and said:
"By the way, major, about that
horse order, you Imow these young
lieutenants have an idea that they
can use ambulances and government
animals whenever they chooKe, and
I am determined to teach them a
. lesson. Of course I did not intend
fi the order to hold in y our case. Some
consideration must be shown to long
and valuable service, sir, and I want
yon to understand this matter."
Major Stuffy extended His hand
warmly to the general and said: '-f
"I am glad you mentioned it, gen
eral, but of course I understood the
matter perfectly. These young snips
are too presumptuous anyway v and
think they are entitled to all the
consideration due old officers."
One of these "young snips" was
struggling to pay up the bills con
tracted when his daughter was mar
ried and another was incessantly
engaged in short division in the ef
fort to provide for the wants of his
The two veterans strolled away
together in the direction of the club
room, followed by several officers
from the row who were interested
in the reconciliation. As the major
threw open the door and followed
the-general in he smiled benignant
ly on the old habitues and said,
"Come, gentlemen, join us in a bot
tle ot wine." Of course the invita
tion was accepted, for since the ma
jor h?d qujt going on lilcie "frolics/'
as he called them, in deference to
the temperance ideas of the young
snips, all recognized this as some
special occasion. The major busied
himself seeing that "Tubs" neg
lected no one and talked in the most
amiable way about the magnificent
weather and fine, post the general
had built up.
"This reminds me of old days in
Texas, gentlemen, when the dra
goons"? he was saying when^his
Loyal Legion button fell off "and
Tolled into a convenient knothole
under the billiard table. Before he
recovered from his efforts to secure
the rolling button the general, with
the air of Sir Roger de Coverley, re
moved his own little emblem and
''Major, let me present yon with
this as a memento of this most
pleasant occasion." -:
^ArJThile /the major was ,still, .qyer
corae by this graceful mote the gen
eral wished them all a pleasant lame ,
and escaped to hiss quarte*. . *;The' j
nev/s spread around th'pt th'e major
was. having a bit thcUv^- a?fd?. j??n
Toney Ruck?r put away his- wrath
when the orderly came to ask his
presence at the clubroom.
' Tubs", .was kept busy during the
afternoon attending to the spiritual
needs of the ever increasing party,
for with each new arrival the major
would say: "What ? fine gentleman
the general is! It was thq. neatest
thing yon ever raw, s1r4 'why, he
actually, took his bnttqjh from his
own breast and presented it to me,
by gad and we will drink to his
That evening as the major and
Toney, arm in arm, wended their
winy way to their quarters they
passed young Dawdle on the walk
ivith the captain's wife's sister mak
ing hay while the field was clear.
~\ ? _ : - 4 ?.' ..
Story of the Pfne Tree.
The Mississippi pine tree knows
not what a day may bring forth. On
Saturday morninghe may be waving >
to and fro in the breeze, proud of
us growth, in full remembrance of
;he storm that ho has endured in the
?ast, says the Lauree (Miss.) Chron
cle. The crosscut saw at 8 a. m.
itrikes him, and in a few short min
?tes lie is cut off and sawed into
ogs. Before night hois loaded on
he cars, hauled into the town and ,
lumped into the pond. On Monday,
jaorning he is dragged: out, sawed
nto lumber and before night put
nto a dry'.kiln. On Thursday he is
aken out and loaded on the cars. <
)n Saturday he is in Chicago, and ;
he following Monday he is being
tailed in some building in that great ?
An Obedient Doll.
A little girl was overheard talk- <
eg to her doll, whose arm had come
ft, exposing the sawdust stuffing: i
"You dear, good, qbedienti'dolly. i
knew I lialuYtol3?>yot^to chew your i
ood,fine,\f)ut J mdVt think you i
rould l?newi it bo fine as that.". i
To Cure a Cold la One Day.
ake. Laxative Bromo Quinine Tab* S
its. AU druggists refund the money t
! it fails to oure. E. W. Grove's b
ignaturo on every box. 26c.
? Jumping a summer resort board. fl
ill is one way to beat a retreat.
? "Ah, Reginald, dearest," she f
ghed, "but how can I be sure that ?
ou will not grow, weary of me after
e have been married ? little while?"
? don't know," be answered, "unless 8
e get married and see'.' i h
It fg Caused by Nerve Action on the
Not every one would consider that j
to blush indicates special intelli
fenc? ; yet blushing is an' eminently
uman attribute, and Darwin says
that "it would require an over
whelming amount of evidence to
make us believe that any aniinal
could blush. Idiots, too, rarely
It is a fact that the nerves have
an effect even on the circulation of
the blood, and the very pulse at our
wrist is not due only to the heart
throbs, but to an organism called
the vsso motor system?threadlike
nerves distributed to the walls of
the blood vessels and making a reg
ular pulsing motion as they force
the blood along, m
These blooo; vessels are related
closely both to the cerebro spinal
and the sympathetic systems; hence
the reason for the effect of sudden
shock, of the pallor produced by
fear, the crimson blush of shame
and the flush of rage. These are
really psycho phenomena and indi
cate the remarkable vascular changes
caused by feelings of the mind.
Blushing really is a sort of mo
j'mentary paralysis or suspension of
the vuso motor nerve influence, and
the opposite emotion of fear either
stimulates the contractors of the
tiny capillary vessels or sometimes
permits the action by suspending
thg cerebral influence. ? Philadel
A Hungry Man's Dreams.
One of the worst evils attending
penal eervitude is said, to be the
nunger* which assails a man with a
healthy appetite during the first few
months or years of his imprison
ment. A man who has just done
a long term for forgery says :
I used to go to bed every night
pinched by hunger. I began dream
ing of banquets and would have
thought nothing strange about it
had not the same dream como to me
every night. The banquet was al
ways the same, in the same place,
and I always had the same place at
The exasperating thing about it
was that just as the first course was
offered I always awoke, so that even
in my dreams I was not permitted
to taste of tbe munificent spread
which was nightly presented to me
in my sleep.
I dreaded to gd to bed because
the dream tortured me. It only
made me the hungrier, and then I'
understood; the agony of Tantalus,
the fabled hero who was tortured
with thirst and to whose lips the
waters were ever coming and reced
ing just as he was in the aefc-of tak
ing a drink.
Work of the Plodders.
If we wero to examine a list of
the men who have left their mark
on the world, we should find that,
as a rule, it is not composed of those
who were brilliant in youth or who
gave great promise at the outset of
their careers, but rather of the plod
ding y rung men who, if they nave
lnbt dazzled by their brilliancy, have
had the power of a day's work in _
them, who eoald stay by a task un-1
til it was done and well done; who
have had grit, persistence, common
sense and honesty, says Success. It
is the steady exercise of these or
dinary, homely virtues, united with
average ability, rather than a de
ceptive display of more, showy qual
ities in youth, that enables a man
to achieve greatly and honorably.
So if we were to attempt to make
a forecast of the successful men, of
the future we should not look for
them among the ranks of the smart
boys, those who think they know it j
all and are anxious to win by a
Cooking Food by Cooling
People who have experienced ex
treme cold say that it is very similar
to extreme heat. Any one who has
ever picked up a piece of intensely
cold iron knows . that the touch
burns and blisters almost as badly
as if the metal were red hot. This
natural law has been made use of
by clev?r chemists to cause cold to
produce the same effect as heat. One
has actually cooked meat by. placing
it in ?nv?tmosph?re of 100 to 150
degrees F. below zero. When the
meat* was removed, it was placed at
once in airtight pans. It was after
ward eaten and found to be very pal
Her Tribute to Love.
They were three wee little maids,
and they discussed the relative ac
complishments of their respective
"My mamma has been abroad
three times and can speak French
just the same as American," boasted
one, flipping back her curls.
"My mother can play everything
on the piano," said the second.
' The third looked dreamily across
the fields. "I don't know that my
mother can do anything," she said
ilowly, "but, oh, she is such an aw
fully good mother to mel"?Balti
The best physio?Chamberlain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets. Easy to
ake. Pleasant in effect. For sale
>y Orr-Gray & Co.
?- It is often convenient to have a (
mall boy around to blame things on. , b
? Theology is to religion what a J
ashloo plate is. to .\o old suit of o
loihea. . j.h
? If a mao has nothing elfce to
pend he can spend his vacation at p
MILLIONS OF BUFFALOES.
Immense Herd? That Used to Roam
the Western Prairies.
In the forties, when the American
Fur company was in the heyday' ox
its power, there were sen$ frijm St.
Louis alone in a single year JIOO,000
robes, and tho company bought only
the perfect ones. Tho hyntcr.nsual
ly kept an ample supply for hie own
needs, so that for every robe bought
by the company three times as many,
were taken from the plains. St.
Louis was only one port of ship
ment. Equal quantities of robes
were being sent from Mackinaw, De
troit, Montreal and Hudson bay. A
million would' not cover the number
of robes sent each year in the for
In 18G8 Inman, Sheridan and
Ouster rode continuously for three
days through one herd in the Ar
kansas region, and in 1869 trains on
tho Kansas Pacific were held from 9
in the morning until 6 at night to
permit the passage of one herd
across the tracks. Army officers re
late that in 1862 a herd that cov
ered an area of 70 by 30 miles moved
north from the Arkansas to the Yel
Catlin and Inman and army men
and employees of the fur companies
considered a drove of 100,000 buf
faloes a common sight along the line
of -the Santa Fo trail. Inman com
putes that from St. Louis alone the
bones of 31,000,000 buffaloes were
shipped between 1868 and 1881.?
A. C. Laut in Outing. ;
Preparing For a Journey.
Jerome K. Jeroine*zecalled with
reverence a habit of his methodical
uncle, who before pecking for a
journey always "made a list."
This was the system which was
followed/ noted down from his un
cle's own lips :
Take a piece of paper and put
down on it everything you can pos
sibly require. Thenfgo over it and
see that it contains nothing you can
possibly do without.
Imagine yourself in bed. What
have you got on ? Very well; put it
down, together with a change. You
get up. What do you do? Wash
yourself. What do you wash your
self with? Soap. Put down soap.
Go on till you have finished. Then
take yovr clothes. Begin at your
feet. What do you wear on your
feet? Boots, shoes, socks. . Put
them down. Work up till you get
to your head. What do you want
besides clothes F Put down every
This is the plan the old gentle
man always pursued. The list made,
he would go over it carefully to see
that he had forgotten nothing. Then
he would go over it again and strike
out everything it was possible to
dispense with. Then he would lose
. Softening of the Brain.
Although worry and disappoint
ment are leading contributing causes
of softening of the brain, the disease
very commonly declares itself inde
pendently of auch jonditiona and as
the mere Result qf progressive in
flammatory changes associated with
other forms of continuous and ex
acting mental strain. Not infre
quently also the exact opposite is
the case, as the malady is very com
mon in the lower and nonintel
All the varied phenomena of grad
ual mental decline, numbed energy,
paralytic seizures, incohereney of
speech, aphasie attack .and. general
Srogressive. weakness explain "the
ying at the top," so dreaded by all.
More distressing still is the fact, that
tho general inflammation of the
brain tissues, always present, is of
Blow development, unrelentingly pro
gressive and eventually fatal. Some
times years elapse before the long
desired end comes.
Collars and Cuffs.
It is difficult: when traveling
abroad for both men and women to
keep their collars and cufts clean,
as one cannot take an unlimited
supply of clothes, and it often is dif
ficult to get things washed unless
remaining at a place for several
days. If the following plan is car
ried out, collars and cuffs can be
kept clean and fresh looking for
days: Directly they begin to look
Boded take the corner of a towel,
dip it in cold water, , squeeze it well
and ruri the collar or cuffs quickly
and hard with it, being careful not
to make them too wet; then rub,
them with a dry part of the towel.
After this they will look quite fresh
md clean again without losing any
)f the stiffness.
They Enjoyed It.
"And how did you like Switzer
Oh, immensely I It wan our first
ri?it, you know."
"And did you go into Italy?"
"Well, no. We found a hotel at
Lausanne where there was a first
dass tennis lawn, you know?quite
is good as ours at home. So we
ipent the whole of our vacation
here and played lawn tennis all day
i lac m^<
? An enthusiastic man lof es his
>opiitaricy as soon as people get on to
? Actiona may speak louder than
rords, but you can't make a woman
? Men bave a right to bet if they
boose, but they should be careful
ow they choose before bettiog.
? A cross old bachelor says the
roper way to bring up children is to
eep them down on all occasions.
METAPHOR OF THE SEA.
Tema Associated With the Watcs
That Ar? Very Exyveailve.
"Let me put In my oar," said a gen
tleinan as he joined three of bis ac
quaintances in the hotel cafe the other
night and took a seat at a table with
"That Is about the twentieth meta
phor of that sort that I have beard to
night," answered one of the others,
"and It seems so strange that we
should borrow so many of our figures
from the sea. I never thought of It be
fore, but It is curious, t have never
teen closely associated with the water,
aal I don't believe any of us bave, and
yet we are using sea terms all of the
tlma They are wonderfully express
ive, toOr and I don't know what we
would do without them.
"You want to put in 'your oar,' a mo
ment ago soino ono talked about being
all adrift,' and I admitted that I was !
*at sea.' Wo talk abqut our 'weather
eye/ being 'spliced/ our 'mainstay' and
all that sort of stuff. Wo know what
it is to 'cast an anchor to windward,'
to ?back and fill/ to 'steer' through, to
be taken aback' and to bave 'the wind
taken ou': of our sails.'
"Wo 'spin a yarn,' try *tho other
tack,' 'launch' enterprises, got them
'undo* full sail' and often 'wreck'
them. We cry for 'any port in a storm,'
take in a reef/ get to our 'rope's end,'
'run before the wind' and sometimes
'keel over.' So it gees on until I be
lieve we can talk nbouJ- almost every
thing in the language of the sea."?St
; Louis Republic.
The parish kirk of Driechton bad
been rather unfortunate In its minis
ters, two of them having gone off in
decline within a twelvemonth of thelr
appointment, and now, after hearing a
number of candidates for the vacancy,
the members were looking forward
with keen interest to the meeting at
which the election of the new minister
was to take place.
"Weel, Market," asked one female
parishioner of another as they fore
gathered oa the road orte day, "wha
are you groin to vote for?"
"I'm just thlnkln' I'll vote for none
o' them. I'm no' muckle o' a judge,
an' it'll be the safest plan," was Mar
gef s sagacious reply.
"Toots, woman, if thaf s the way o't
vote wi' me."
"An' hoo are you gaun to vote???
"I'm gaun to vote for the man that
I think has the soundest lungs an' '11
no' bother us wi' deeln' again in a hur
I An Odd Blab.
Silz boiled hog's lard and milk with
thick gruet Stir it well together, with
fresh cheese, yolks of eggs and brains.
Wrap it in a fragrant fig leaf and boll
in the gravy of a chicken or a kid.
When taken out, remove the leaf and
souse it in a potful of boiling honey.
The name of this comestible la derived
from the fig leaf, but the mixture con
sists of equal parts of each, but rather
more eggs, because this glvea It con
sistency. This appears to have been a
popular dish among the Greeks. To
us it seems about as nice aa an oyster
eaten with brown sugar.
Aristophanes mentions a thirum of
salt fish nnd a thirum of fat In the
"Progs" there la a dismal joke in the
form of a reasonable objection made to
leaping from a high tower, "I would
lose two fig leaves of brain." The
word occurs no less than twelve times
in the fragmenta of the comic poets.
A. story was told the other day of a
little girl who discovered a cobweb and
then, seeing a spider emerge from it
called out: "See the cob run I How fast
the cob runs!" As a matter of fact
she builded better than she knew, for
cob, or cop, is, according to the dic
tionaries, the name sometimes given to
a spider; whence the word cobweb,
which b, strictly speaking, copweb.
Cop in this sense is probably an abbre
viation of the Anglo-Saxon attercoppe,
a spider. _
Records are kept with knotted cords
in Polynesia. During the early part of
the nineteenth century and previously
the official taxgatberers.on the island
of Hawaii, in the Sandwich group, did
all their accounts on a rope 2,400 feet
long, which, waa divided into lengths,
each corresponding to a district Loops,
knots and feathers tied along the rope
served as memoranda for the hogs,
pigs and pieces of sandal wood col
lected from taxpayers.
"Ifa wonderful," said the meditative
man, "how one small word, insignifi
cant in itself, may Induce an endless
train of thought speaking volumes, in
"Yea," replied the caustic man. "Take
the word 'but' for instance,- when a
woman says, 'Of course, it's none of
my business, but* "?Exchange.
Tbe duo of Bread on Water.
A loaf of bread is a favorite talis
man for locating a drowned body in
most European countries. Sometimes
it is found sufficient of itself, some
times it needs the aid of some other
substance, inns in England the loaf
is usually weighted with qnicksilver.?
Notes and Queries.
A Little Boagh on Bin.
Daughter?The man I marry must be
a brave man.
Father?He will be if he marries you
while your mother is living.?New York
B? la Ko Hypocrite.
Tom?Are you going to wear mourn
ing for your wealthy uncle?
Jack?Only a black pocketbook.?Chi
Keep tbe body healthy at thi? sea
ion by n?iog Prickly Ash Bftters.
[t is a necessary condition to success
'ally resist malarial germs. Evans
? Blessed is the peacemaker?un
ess he foolishly attempts to interfere
a a quarrel between a man aud his
? If a man i* color-bli?d he may
>e able to look at a modern stained
;Uss window vrithout wauting to
BEARDS AND GLASSES. I
Two Ornaments That Are Rarely;
Found Upon Hotel Walters.
"Ever see a waiter wearing glasses?'
demanded the Inquisitor.
No one could remember, although
Just Why a waiter should not be seen
with glasses as well as any other man
was not apparent.
"If s just like the wearing of beards,"
went on tho inquisitor. "The proprie
tors of our important hotels, restau
rants and cafes will not permit either
beards or glasses to'be worn by their
waiters. It Is possible that In some
old fashioned family or commercial
hotel tho servitors may bo found with
their noses straddled by optical helps,
but you won't find 'em along Broad
"Now, this is a fact worthy of noto
because in every other calling in life
tho number of persons wearing glasses
is on tbe increase, and even In our
schools a considerable percentage of
very small children will be found
wearing glasses, and while, as I say,
hotel, restaurant and cafo proprietors
are opposed to the glusses, still I have
seldom found a waiter whose eyes In
dicated that be was In tbe slightest
need of them.
"You may argue that restaurant
waiters are generally young men.
Grant you that Instantly, but all tho
same thousands of men of similar ago
I have to wear them In almost every I
I other occupation.
"The majority of those servitors
I commence in boyhood, and the demand
of their vocation causes no strain on
tho eyesight Consequently that may
account In a pleasure for the absence
o? any necessity for the use of specB.
Moreover, tbe steam from hot viands
would render tbem useless probably."-*
New York Telegram.
Hin Best Role.
They were discussing the amateur
theatricals of tbe previous evening,
and Thespls was bewailing the hard
luck that bad brought on a violent
headache and prevented bis appear
"Do you know, old boy." he sal? con
fidentially, "that was to have been the
effort of my life. I had tho love seen*
iown fine, and Mildred's heart must
hare been of stone if she failed to see
that I was in earnest I was willing
to slake everything on the result, for
I was confident she would accept me
tbe moment the curtain went down.
And to think that my usual hard luck
would step Vu Just when nil my hopes
were about to be realized 1"
"I heard Mildred refer to your non
appearance." remarked Payer.
"You did? And what did she say?"
"Said you performed an act of char
ity by not coming on."
It Pnssled Him.
It is said of a former Marquis of
Townshend that when young and en
gaged in battle be saw a drummer at
his side killed by a cannon ball .which
scattered bis brains in every direction.
His eyes were at once fixed on the
ghastly object which seemed to en
gross bis thoughts. A superior officer
observing him supposed he was intim
idated at tbe sight and addressed him
in a manner to cheer bis spirits. "Ohr*
said the young marquis, with calm
ness, but severity. "I am not frightened.
I am puzzled to make out how any man
with such a quantity of brama ever
came to be here!"
Too True to Bo Profitable.
"How about that historical novel?"
asked the publisher.
"No good at all." answered the read
er to whom it had been assigned. "The
man doesn't understand how to write
historical novels, and he hasn't pervert
ed the truth as we know it enough to
make any kind of a rumpus among the
critics. His book would fall flat"?
Two Babies For a Cent.
A novel poster was seen by a recent
I s?journer in Nova Scotia. It was print
ed on rough paper with red naint in a
childish band, and was tacked to a tel
I egraph pole in a conspicuous position:
"There will be a concert and fair In
Mrs. Parson'?- sitting room today at 2
o'clock sharp. Admission?adults, G
cents; children. 2 cents; babies, two for
Consolln g t'bongbt.
He?Darling. I have lost my position.
She?Never mind, dear. Think of how
small your salary was.?Brooklyn Life.
Some people take care of their mon
ey and neglect their stomachs.?Atchl*
Beaut'ful Thoughts j
The sweet, pure breath of tho babe Is ??
Sestlve of innocence and health. S une chil
ien are as light and delicate as tho mode.t
flower, soin* aro strung and bright, some are
frail and alckiy.
A mother's yearning for children Is insep
arable from a love of the beautiful, nnd it
behooves every woman to bring the sweet
est Influence to bear on the subject of her
maternity. . .. . ....
To make ?aar that period when hie is
born again, ????
Is popularly used. It Is a Uniment, sanity
administered and for external use oaly.
No risk, no experiment, merely a pain
reliever and harmless.
Pregnant women are earnestly entreated
to try this remedy, it being undeniably a
friend to her during nature's term of sus
pense, teara and anticipation.
Mother's Friend. If used diligently
throughout gestation* will soften the breast s,
thereby preventing cracked and sore nipples.
All tissues, muscles and tendons straining
with the burden will soften, relax, become
soothed^snpple and elastic from Itscontln
AU n't) res Inthe abdominal region will re
spond readily to the expanding cover con tain
1 Ing the embryo If Mother's Friend Is ad
ministered externally all during pregnancy.
All reliable druggists sell this remvdy for
$1 per bottle. .. ._.
A really valuable treatise on motherhood
will bo sent tree, if you write us.
THE BRADFIELD REGULATOR CO.,
In your blood? Physicians call it
malarial germ. It can beseenchang*
ing red hlood yellow under a micro -
scope. It works day and night. First,
f ton? your coiuplexiou yellow.
Cauls, aching sensations creep down
your Lack bone. You feel weak and
Enters the blood, drives out the yellow
poison and stops the trouble at ouce.
It not only prevents but completely
euros chills, fevers, night sweats aud
malaria. The manufacturer know
all about this yellow poicon, and have
perfected Roberts' Tonic to drive it
out, nourish your system, restore appe
tite, purify the blood. It has cured
th... -sands of cases of chills, fevers and
malaria. It will cure you or your
money back. This is fair. Try it.
ORR, GRAT & CO.
EVANS PHARM AC*.
BENDY DRUG CO.
Foley's Honey and Tar
for children,safe,sure. No opiates*
Peoples' M of Mn,
ANDERHOr , S. <T.
We respectfully solicit a share
of your business.
From this date imtil further
notice we will olose our doors at 3
o'clock iu the afternoon. Will thank
our customers and friends to attend
lo their business before that hour.
Foley's Kidney Cure
makes kidneys and bladder right
Parties owing me
either by Note or
Account will call
in and settle same
without sending to
see you or writing
you again, as I
must have same
settled at once. I
can't do business
on as long time as
you are taking; so
avail yourself and
come in at once
and save expense.
JOHN T. 3URRISS.
are the most fatal of all dis
Eni EWe KIDNEY CUREJt fi
or money refunded. Contains
remedies recognized by emi
nent physicians as the best for
Kidney and Bladder troubles.
PRICE 50c and $1.00.
SOLD BY EVANS' PHARMACY.
Foley's Honey and Tar
cures colds, prevents pneumonia*
S. G. BRUCE.
OVER D. C. Brown & Bro's. Store, on
Sontb Main Street.
I bov- 25 years experience In my pro
fession, and v*IH be pleased to work for
any who want Plates made. Fillingdone,
and I make a npwdalty of Extracting
Teeth without pain and with no after pain.
ii hnMttrt I SO YEARS'
^ Bf & EXPERIENCE '
. HAUE, nmnnoi
Anyone Bonding m sketch and description rcr?
quickly ?certain our opinion froo whether an
Invention Is probat.Ir patentable. PomnnolM;
tlonastrlctlrc.>ntJ(1entlaU ilandtoook on Patenta
Bunt free: OI,le,t opency for awurinK patenta.
Patenta takon tb>"uffh Munn * Co. rocdT?
tvteiol notice, wlthou. obargo. In tho
A handsomelr lllnntratcd weekly- k^reja* rlr
Branca Offlco. <b F Su Waahlnatou. D. C.