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The Anderson intelligencer. (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, December 23, 1903, Image 6

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1HE DARKY'S
NEW YEAR SONG
MISTER NEW YEAR/como er long;
Make a mighty show!
Slngin' er de ?ame ole song
Ever*body know:
"Hon dy. howdy do, suh;
Happy days ter you. Bub!
J_.?>?? or money.
"Weather Bunny,
En dc whole ?ky blue. Buhl**
ailftfr New Tear comln' 'long,
Trompln' croat do snow:
Cay he gwlne ter right do wrong;
Make do roses grow!
"I TOO WISE FE? YOU, SUIl!"
"Howdy, howdy do. ?uh;
Ueuli'H my lovo ter yon, sub!
Give you money,
2d!?k en honey,
Make dat ole coat new, sub!"
Minter New Year, go yo' wayo!
I done had my schoolln";
Geen a lot er New Ycur days;
1 too old fer foolln' !
1 too wise fer you, suh, 't
Wid yo' "Howdy do. suh!"
Talk too cheap;
Go sew nn reap
En bring dem skies er blue, sub!
-Atlanta Constitution.
r?
Tj ' Scalloped Oy?tern.
The Christinas dinner should include
oysters. They may serve for un en
tree nnd nre delicious sen'.ioped ur
baked in n plc with the giblets. This
ia tlie way to prepare scalloped oysters:
Pince in n shallow baking dlsl? a layer
of oysters; over tills spread a las'or of
bread crumbs ar crumbled crackers;
sprinkle it with salt, pepper nnd lilts of
butter; alternate tho layers until thc
dish is full, having crumbs on top, well
dotted with bits of butter. Pour over
the whole enough oyster juice to mois
ten !t. Unke In n hot oven fifteen or
twenty minutes or until brownell.
Serve In tho sam dish in which lt is
baked. Indlvlcv; .1 scallop cups or.
shells may also be used, enough for one
person being placed In each cup. Prop
erly prepared. It ls nn excellent dish.
T?ew York World.
Christmas Oyster Houp.
One quart of oyster liquor, two doz
en oysters, one quart of milk, two ta
blespoonfuls of butter, two tablespoon
fuls of Hour, juice of half a lemon, salt
nnd pepper to taste, tiny pinch of mace.
^Hent milk and strained oyster liquor la
separate vessels. Hub butter and Hour
together, cook In a saucepan until they
bubble end pour on bot milk, stirring
till the mixture ls thin and smooth.
Add the liquor, drop In thc oysters and
cook five minutes. Season and serve nt
once. Add lemon julee the very,last
thin---.
Don't forget the old man
with the fish on his back.
For nearly thirty years he
has been traveling around the
world, and is still traveling,
bringing health and comfort
wherever he goes,
To the consumptive he
brings thc strength, and flesh
lie so much needs.
To all weak and sickly
children he gives rich ana
strengthening food.
To thin and pale persons
he gives new firm flesh and
rich red blood.
Children who first saw the
old man with the fish are now
#rown up and have children
o? their own.
He stands for Scott's Emul
sion of pure cod liver oil-a
delightful' food and a natural
tonic for children, for old folks
an cl for all who need flesh and
Strength. ,
ONE OF JEROME'S JOKES.
His Invitation to a Formal Dinner
Witn Queen Victoria.
Lawrence Jerome, whose sister
married Lord Randolph Churchill,
waa something of a practical joker,
says a London paper. Once when
he was visiting at Osborne House,
then the royal residence, his eye
lighted on nome of the royal sta
tionery. "Oh, my dear sir/' said
he, "how envied I could make my
self in America if only I could take
pome of that stationery with me!"
Jerome's friend forthwith got him
some, and Larry luv low.
Some days later he was invited to
meet a swell crowd on James Gor
don Bennett's yacht. So ho care
fully wrote un epistle, purporting to
como from thc queen, bidding him
to dun.- at Osborne House. This
was to bc delivered to him during
dinner. Ten minutes before tho
royal invitation was due to arrive a
real invitation from some lord was
handed to him. lie excused himself
and opened thc letter. "What is
it?" some one ventured to ask. "Oh,
nothing," answered Larry, with a
yawn; "only an invitation from
Lord So-and-so to dinner/'
That made tho company si are.
But fancy their surprise when a
great white envelope with thc royal
insignia plainly showing was handed
him. He sighed as he broke the
peal. "Well," he murmured half to
himself, "this is getting to bc a
beastly bore." "What is it?" was
tho question once more. "Oh, just
a bid from thc queen to eat dinner
at Osborne." "And do you consid
er that a hore?" "Oh, well, no
doubt thc intention is good," said
Jerome, "but you can't tell how
these formal things pall on ti simple
American liku me after a time."
But you may tako your oath that
Jerome accepted thc real invitation
with alacrity.
Lost the Point.
"Which would you rather have,"
said Jones to Brown, "a fivo pound
note or live sovereigns?"
"Seems to mc there's no differ
ence," was thc reply.
"Oh, yes, there is. I'd sooner
have thc note, for when you put it
in your pocket you double it, and
when you tuko it out you lind it in
creases I"
Brown was so tickled with tho
riddle that ho went into his club and
promptly asked it of thc first man
no carno across.
"(Jive it up," said tho latter hope
lessly.
"Why, tho note, of course, for
when you put it in your pocket you
fold it in half, and when you lake it
out you lind it all crumpled-ha,
ha!"
But his friend looked more hope
less than before, and to this day
Brown can:t make out why ho did
not seo tho joke.-London Globe.
Gladstone and His Clothes.
Of Gladstone a recent writer says:
"No premier in the last half century
paid less attention to his clothes than
did Mr. Gladstone. His hats wero par
ticularly shabby, his frock coats of
uncertain ago and hi9 nether gar
ments much bagged at the knee with
sitting at a desk. This disregard,
however, extended only to periods
when ho was out of office. When in
Downing street ho dressed almost
smartly for a man of his age. How
many years' service Mr. Gladstone
extracted from his famous Inverness
cape AVG do not know. Anyhow ho
started with it on his first Midlothi
an campaign, and he waa still wear
ing it after thc general election of
18D'?. In Edinburgh ho appeared to
wear the samo hat year after year,
but it may have been fetched north
for thc occasion as a mascot, as he
generally dr ovo about bareheaded,
and very few of his constituents ever
sow him with his hoad covered."
Learn to Forget.
"A good 'forgctter,' " said an old
man and a successful ono the other
day, "is really as valuable a posses
sion as a good memory. A good
'forgettcr knows What to forget and
what to pass over to thc memory to
hold on tap for futuro use. I've al
ways found it paid to let other peo
ple's mistakes and my own go. The
memory of them is infectious some
how and seems to breed more mis
takes and crowds out tho thought of
more useful things. Yes, my advice
to thc younger, habit forming gen
eration, both mon and women, would
bc to cultivate first of all a wise, dis
criminating 'forgettcr.' "
Gave Charlie Away.
An Oakland matron related that
one night she heard n noise in the
house, and she alarmed her husband,
who resolved to go downstairs anti
investigate. "But," went on thc
matron, "by thc time Charles got
his leg on and was downstairs thc
burglar had departed. But we found
a window open." Her hearers all
looked their, surprise, and then thc
matron realized, to her confusion,
that not ono of them hbd before
suspected that a slight imperfection
.in her husband's gait was due to i
cork leg.San Francisco Tobi
Talk.
Te Core a Cold la One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tableta
All druggists refund tho money if it
fails to cure. E. W. Grove'* signa
ture is on each box. Price 25c.
-m - ??
- Yoong Lo vom an-"Mr. Fienny
peck, I ooma to ask you for your dsugh
tor. Hove--Mr. Hennypook-r
'That's all rigl t; j ou may have her.
And-er-\ don't suppose you can poa
?dblv, PeeNy,our way clear to take hrr
mother, toot'* '
Song of
TWINE the bittersweet and holly
Arched abovo tho hearthstone's
A glow.
Joy, and not melancholy,
Cann;, Indrlftlng with tho snow.
In each face tho froKt'B a-tingle,
And afar on flying wing
Como? tho sleigh bells' rhythmlo Jingle
Through December Journeying.
Bet tho hoard and ask the blessing
For tho bounty amply spread.
In the simplest words expressing
What a lovlriK Father said
"Peaou rm earlh"-for this ls nearest
When Km snows with us abide.
Ami tho winter air ls clearest
In tho hush of Christmastide,
BEND TOTE FAIREST DOW: THE MIDDLE.
Bring tho old musician's fiddle,
Relic of tho bygone days;
Rend the '.'airest down tho middle
While tho Hiting music sways.
Light of foot and quick of laughter
Swing the dancers, too and heel,
As tliey puss or follow after
In the quulnt Virginia reel.
Make u welcome for tho stranger,
Should his footstep cross the door,
By tho memory of the manger
And tho Christ that was of yore;
Gather children's faces round you.
As ho gathered them long sync.
If lt bo the years have crowned you
With their radiance divine.
Deck the treo and light the candles,
Dot the stockings all bo hung.
For a saint with furry sundals
O'er tho housetops high has swung,
And his reindeer steeds are prancing
Through the star bespangled rime.
And the moonbeams pule aro glancing
In the merry Christmas time.
-Woman's Home Companion.
A i'll ri nt mun Card Worth Million?. I
The most expensive Christmas card |
over mndo wus prepared by an English
firm in Calcutta some years ago for tho
I nativo ruler of Baroda, in the East In
dies, and in tended as a gift for a Euro
i pean lady of rank with whom the great
man was In love. This card was a
i foot In length by ten inches In width
j and of flawless ivory, to obtain which
over forty elephants were killed. Pour
of the most skillful carvers to be found
were at work for six months on this
magnificent present. When it was fin
ished tho eyesight of threo of them
was injured and the fourth man be
came blind. The engraving and carv
ing they did were the representing of
10,000 of tho stages of existence of
Buddha. The card was ornamented
around the edges, like a frame, with
forty-four diamonds of the purest wa
ter, and each the size of a hazelnut.
The cost was estimated nt half a mil
lion pounds sterling. The lady never
got her present, for the potentate was j
arrested for treing to poison the Eng
lish resident, mid i?u> Curd disappeared, j
Joya of Christmas Time.
While the Christmas season brings u
thrill of Joy to all tb*? aged who have
lived correct lives, yet lt is sometimes
saddened by reminiscences of sins of
omission and commission. The knowl
edge that during this blessed time evil
spirits are shorn of power to do evil
does not always soothe the pangs of
conscience. But to the young, to whom
lifo in prospect ls nil hope and sun
shine, the season is one of unalloyed
bliss. In addition to health and good
digestion, they have two patron saints,
"Little Jack Horner, who sat iii tho
corner," and Santa Claus, who. though
a Dutchmun. Is endeared to the in
fantry of all nations by the bound
less profusion he showers on all na
tionalities. There are trees sufficiently
stacked up around the market house to
carry all thc old gentleman's benefac
tions this year, nnd they are selling
readily, a testimonial to tho Improved
prospects of the expectant recipients
of ids bounty.
Numerous. Indeed, ure the hearts to
which Christmas brings a brief sea
son of happiness and enjoyment. How
ninny families whose members have
been scattered far and wide in tho rest
less struggle for life ore then reunited
and meet again in thnt happy state of
companionship nnd mutual good will!
How many old recollections and how
many dormant sympathies docs Christ
mas timo awaken!
There are thousands of Pickwicks to
day ns well as a century ago who enjoy
that sacred time as well as he.-Pitts
burg Press.
_ ?
BmolcinaT the Chvlstmaui Foot.
In some parts of England the custom
is said still to continue, two days after
old Christmas day, of "smoking thc
fool"-that is, a pile of straw being col
lected and set aught, the "fool" ls hung
over lt by n rope around hts waist and
swung backward and forward till he
ls nearly dead. Then he goes- around
with his cop and collects "what the
spectators think proper to give,** as tho
chronicler? express lt , In these enter
prising dara, when almost any gamer ls.
worked that" can Induce any one to
give anything; it seems ?trange that no
one hos Imported thia custon, tot lt
roust bo a successful one.
THE CITY CHURCH.
tts First Function Is Toward Proper
Family Living.
The city church hus firet of nil a
function to fulfill to the family life
of the city. In so doing it not only
gives what homes have a right to
expect from it, but gets from the
family that upon which its own per
petuity ?nd progress must depend.
For tho family is thc typo of rela
tionship to realize which tho church
exists. It is the primary social cell
which divides and develops thc oth
er structures of society. In religion
it is the central sphere which unites
to itself and to one another all thc
spheres of human life within which
tue relationships of religion are to
bo realized. 'Hie family is, there
fore, to bo utilized hy the church in
two ways--to set the earthly type,
B?ainlard and example of religious
relationships Godward and man
ward, and to realize these relation
ships throughout the wor!d by tho
usc of home life, household equip
ment and the co-operation of fam
ily groups.
The church has no higher social
function than to co-operate with the
family in fulfilling its function. If
upon the family society depends for
the reproduction of human life, the
family has a right to look to the
church for the sanctity of the mar
riage bond and the protection of in
fant life. If sex life can be legiti
mately filled only within the fam
ily tho church may ho expected to
teach and consene eexual purity.
As home is the only normal place
for thc nurture of child life, the
right of tho child to play, education,
freedom from too early and excess
ive labor, guardianship and equal
ity of opportunity is the church's
own most sacred cause.-Chautau
quan.
She Got the Candy.
It was a . Ciiicago child, not yet
three years old, who, having been
punished by her mother, called up
her father on the telephone for sym
pathy. "Papa," was the call that
his stenographer heard on answer
ing the ring.
"Why, itys the baby," she said to
her employer. The startled man,
with visions of disaster in his mind,
caught thc receiver and said:
"What is it, baby?"
"Mamma 'panked me," came the
reply.
"What do you want me to do
about it?" asked the relieved and
amused parent.
"Come right home and bring me
a pound of candy," said the child.
Lippincott's.
The Commuter's Watch.
"Commuter, 'eh?" asked tho
watchmaker as he examined a time
piece that was brought in for re
pairs.
"Yes. Why ?" said tho owner.
"Tlie watch shows it/' went on
the watchmaker. "It's been set two
or three times a day. That*s a com
muter habit. The arrangement for
setting tho hands has been worked
overt ime.
"Tho commuter is always anxious
lest he iiiiss his train, and he keeps
setting his watch by tho passing
trains, having more faith in tho y
railroad schedules than he has in his
watch. He keeps moving the hands
back and forth, according to thc va
riations of the trains from tho sched
ule, until he wears out the watch.
"Almost every commuter has cer
tain trains by which lie regulates his
watch, regardless of the variationn
from the schedule, and in conse
quence lie never has the timo ex
actly right."-New York Times.
Tho Hottest Placo on Earth.
Between India and Africa lies the
hottest place on earth. The Aval
islands cover a fairly extensive area
of the Persian gulf, lying off tho
southwest coast of Persia, and it is
the largest of them which enjoys
thc doubtful distinction of leading
all perspiring competitors in the
matter of heat. The mean temper
ature of Bahrein for the entire year
is 90 degrees. July, August and
September are unendurable save for
the natives. Night after night as
midnight comes the thermometer
shows 100. By 7 in tho morning it
is 107 or 108 degrees and by 3 in
the afternoon 140. It is stated by
veracious travelers that 75,000
Arabs inhabit the Aval group, fully
25,000 living on Bahrein, in which
connection Sir Henry Layard adds,
"It would seem that a man can ac
custom himself io anything."
NecARsnry precaution.
An American in Paris was one
day looking at the Eiifel tower
when he was accosted by an enthu
siastic Frenchman with, "Ah, my
friend, that is a beautiful tower,
and I doubt very much whether you
have anything to beat it in Amer
ica."
"Waal, stranger/' replied tho
American, "I guess it's good foi
France, but in America we have a
tower so high that we have to lower
the top at night."
"Lower the top at night ?" replied
the Frenchman. "For what rea
son?"
"Waal, I guess it is just to let the
moon pass, stranger. Good day."
BEGINS WORK with he first dote,
cleansing the blood of all1 he poisonous
.dds that produce RHEUMATISM, driving
?out all the dangerous germs r* itt infest the
body-that is thc way cures a
neerea oy
Other medicines treat symptoms; Rheums. Js removes tb*
ca tut, and, therefore, its
CURES ARE PERMANENT.
Helps the digestion, tones up the system. Sample bottle
?rec on application to BOBBITT CHEMICAL CO=s Pro
prietors, 316 West Lombard St., Baltimore, Md.
THE BESTIsHMM?,od,?r
WE cany in etock MEDICINES that have been tested, and stand righfe
behind anything we sell. If not perfectly satisfactory you get your monew
back.
OUR FAMILY MEDICINE ASSORTMENT
Will interest you, and save you considerable money in the run cf a year? 1
$&~ Talk to us when next you are in the city.
EVANS PHARMACY.
D. S. VANDIVBR. J. J. MAJOR. E. P. VAN DIVER.
VAN DIVER BROS. ik MAJOR,
- DEALERS IN -
Carriages, Buggies, Wagons and Harnees.
WE have tried to give you as liberal treatment
as it was possible for us to extend, and now we
ask you, one and ali, to be PROMPT in your
SETTLEMENT with us. Please bear this in
mind, and fettle the very earliest day possible,
and greatly oblige
If you Need a BUGGY we have them Cheap.
Yours truly,
VANDIVER BROS. & MA JOR.
To the Farmers 1
WE have just installed FOUR NEW G?NS at
our plant here, making a total of eight Gins.
We are now prepared to give you prompt and effi
cient sei vice.
Bring your Cotton to us and you will only have to
wait a few minutes for it to be ginned.
We claim that it will pay you to haul your Cotton
a long distance in order to have it ginned by us.
I^ai?mers' Oil
ANDERSON, 8. C.
D. S. VANDIVER. E. P. VANDIVER,
VANDIVER BROS.,
GENERAL MERCHANTS.
WE have a splendid Stock of
STAPLE GKROCEOtlES
On hand at prices that no' Firm can beat and few equal.
Splendid Line of Shoes and Staple Dry Goods.
1&, If you OWE US ANYTHING we believe we would appreciate)
a PROMPT SETTLEMENT just a little more than anybody. Try na and
see if we don't.
Yours for Trade and Collections,
VANDIVER BROS.
WE would like for all the People in Anderson ?
County to come te us for their wants in the : :
DRUG LIN E !
Our Stook is 1 ai ger ard more complete than it has ever been.
Patent Medicines, Chemicals,
Stationery, Paints, Seeds,
Artist MatexLJs, Perfumea,
.And in fact anything that is fottnd in an Up-to-Dato Drug Store.
Orr^Grtfa-y & Co
JO BETTER PIANOS
Made ia the ?orld,and no lowe?
prioesv Abso?ut?y the highest grada
that can be found, and the aurprtSS
how can such high grade Pianos be
had so reasonable*? Wei), iftffe
way : Pianos are being sold at to?
great a prout.. I eave you from 2* to
40 per c?nt in the cost. lam my own
book-keeper, salesman and collector
PSbe whole fc8how.~ Bee! No
worke&ojer,seeond-nand i?posssss9
atxfc. X do not sett that Hnd. ?f ytas
are bright y^* credit ?good w5ihn?
Tbs best Reed Organ Ir^ the %??d is tba ^JW^mtsr.*"
Willsnovo to 1Ssp^:0?k* J^^ . . -?-r . ^
j^aunaWawamal
I* HT A MillA COMMON
Vil i AK KU COMPLAINT.
Catarrh, begins with a stubborn cold in the head, inflammation or sore*
ness of the membrane or lining of the nose, discharge of mucus matter,
headaches, neuralgia and difficult breathing, and even ia this early Stage
is jwhiuost intolerable. But when the filthy s?cr?tons begin to drop back
ines the throat and stomach, and the blood becomes polluted and the
system contaminated , ^ ^ ^ . ^ .
K?, ~"*"~v."i I had a continual headache, my cheeks had crown
by the catarrhal pois- purple, ray noae was always stopped up, my breath
on. then the sufferer had a sickening and diseniBting- odor, ana I aoughed
' . " --"ii-- _ incessantly. I heard ol S. S. S. and commenced to use
begins to realize What a lt and after taking- several bottles I was cared and
distrusting and Sicken- nave never alnoe had the ollghtest symptom of thc
^?0.0;? r>?*?~v ta disease. Misa MABYL. BTOBM,
lng disease Catani 18. Northwest Cor. 7th and Felix ats., Bt. Joseph, Mo.
It affects the kidneys >
and stomach as well as other parts of the body. It is .a constitutional |
disease and as inhaling mixtures, salves, ointments, etc., are never more
than palliative or helpful, even in the beginning of Catarrh, what can
you expect from such treatment when it becomes chronic and the whole
system affected ? Only such a remedy as S. S. S. can reach this obsti
fc^i ^ssw f \ nate, deep-seated disease and purge the blood of the
{fa^M ({C^l ?C^* catarrhal poison. S. S. S. purifies and builds up the
^^^w diseased blood, and the inflamed membranes are
j?^-^J C^Sr C^S/ healed and the excessive secretion of mucus ceases
""^ when new, rich blood is coming to the diseased
pares, and a permanent cure is the result.
S. S. S. is guaranteed purely vegetable and a reliable remedy for
C???ffu. in ali stages. Write i' in aced of medical advice; this will cost
you nothing. 7gg? SWffF7 SFLZGSFSG CG., ATLANTA, GA*
To Stove
Special attention is invited to a new shipment of
ACORN STOVED ?ND RANGES I
Which we have juet leoivcd, and which include* tho wry latest patterns,
both coal or wood, ndapitd td th? requirements of thia market.
If you require anything in the Stove or Mange i i DM we solicit an oppor
tunity to explaiu lbw merits of "f ACORN.
We also tarry a complete and tip-to ?tsie line or TINWARE, WOOD
ENWAREand HOTJftE FURNISHINGS.
Gutting. Plumbing ai d ?)ei inc V iriig ext coted on abort notice.
^ ours truly,
ARCHER & NORRIS.
Tbl H Establishment lias ?> eon S oil i o ir
IN ANDERDON fer than forty yoara. Daring all that time corapoUtora
have come sod gono, but we have remained right here. We have always Sola
Cheaper tbao soy others, and durir/g those long year?* wo have not bsd one dis
satisfied .customer. Mistakes will sometimes occur, and if at any tim? we
found that a oustoiner wa? dissatisfied we did not rest until we bad made him
satisfied. This polioy, rigidly adhered to, has reade us friends, true and last?
iog, and we osa say with pride, but without boasting, that wo haye the confi
dence of the people of this section. We have a larger Stock of Goods this
season than we hav^e ever Lad, sud wo pledge you Our word that we havo never
sold Furniture at as close a margin of profit as we are doing sow. This is
proven by the fact that we are selling Furniture not only all over Anderson
County but io ovary Town ip the Piedmont section. Como and see us. Your
parents saved money by buying, from, us, and you and your ohtldrcu osa sat?
money by buying here, too. We earry EVERYTHING iu the FuraUure lino*
? Oa Pm TOLLY ? ?Oils
The Old Reliable Fmtat? Desist*

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