Newspaper Page Text
SLAM- LANGUAGE OF TODAY.
,\ Jargon nt Onto Peculiarly Expen
It has been suggested lately that a
primer of slang is needed by persons
wishing to get aloDg in good society.
Certainly the uso of slang has iu
_.,..(i,. in tho Fifth avenue
Said a stately old lady the other
day, apropos of some admiring com
ments which followed the departure
from the room of a vivacious young
"I should enjoy her more, I think,
if T always understood what she was
talking about. ? suppose I am very
old-fashioned, for ? fiud often that I
really need a key to the conversation
of the younger members of society.
"Now, for instance, ibo other day
my granddaughter said to mc confi
dentially, 'I really think Miss Dash
is getting dotty,' and at my look of
inquiry she added, ' "nutty," you
"Of courso I didn't know until she
explained that both words meant silly.
She afterwards explained with some
condescension, I thought, that 'Bats
in the belfry,' 'Talking through your
hat,' 'Wheels in your hoad,' Chinks,'
'Oh, dope' and 'Don't queer yourself
are all used to expr?s? doubt of a
statement or of tho speaker's mental
condition, and I also learned that to
show marked disbelief ono need only
say, 'Here's your hat; must you go?'
"When I thanked her she said gay
ly, 'Don't try to use those words yet
grandma, or you will fall down,'*
meaning that I might get mixed up."
"We have had a house party over
Thanksgiving," laughed another ma
tron with gray hair, "and I wish you
had been with us. I think yon., edu
cation in slang might have been hur
ried along considerably.
" 'She's a alick piece of furniture,'
I heard my son say to a chum and I
found he was talking of a girl friond.
" 'Yes,' was the answer, 'and Jones
hus got quite bally over her.'
M 'Oh, Jones always gets onto every
peaoh,' returned my son. 'When it
oomes to mashing he thinks he is the
whole pu UM.'
" 'Boys,' I interjected, 'you will be
late for dinner.'
** 'Just hold it off, mother, will
you, till I olimb into my evening
clothes?' was tho answer I got.
"At tho dinner table ono night two
of thc men exchanged u remark that
fib o w p/l an understanding bctvrccr.
them, and at once thero wero cries of
'Make mo next,' 'Buy mo a ticket,'
'I'm off tho train,' otc. I was quite
bewildered until it dawned upon mo
that that was the now way of saying,
'Let me into the seoret.'
" 'I declare,' I said to my daugh
ter, soon after, 'half the time I don't
know what you people aro talking
" 'Well, mako a stab at it,' she an
swered blithely, and, somewhat stun
ned, I oonoluded the expression must
be tho modern version of 'try, try
"Before I could ask, though, she
handed me a note of thanks from a
prospective bride to whom she had
sent a present. It. began:
" 'It was great of you to send me
that dandy dish.'
" 'To think of oalliog you great
Don't forget the old man
with the fish on his.back.
For nearly thirty years he
has been traveling around the
world, and is still traveling,
bringing health and comfort
wherever he goes.
TQ the consumptive he
brings the strength and flesh
he so much needs.
To all weak and . sickly
children he gives rich and
To thin and pale persons
he gives new firm flesh and
rich red blood*
Children who first saw the
old man with the fish are now
grown up and have children
of their own.
He stands for Scott's Emul
sion of pure cod liver oil-a
\delightful food and a natural
?mie for children, for* old folks
and for all wh? need flesh and
lirai II i\m* i MOM mn u mn ?J.M iu
for sending a trifling present, and a
dish a dandy!' 1 commented, handing
tho note back and my daughtor looked
"I have no doubt shu writes to her
friends in precisely thc same atyle,
for a few days later when we went to
view lier friend's wedding presents
Bbc exclaimed the first thing:
4,4 Oh. what a bully tea BCL'
"I believe, though, that bully ia
now a household word and used to
describe anything from icc cream to a
journey to Africa; so why not a toa
"Just thou a girl friend of my
daughter came along and said to her,
'What a daisy hat you have on.'
" 'Like it?' sin: asked in return.
" 1 Ves, indeed, it 6uita you down
to thc ground.'
14 'That's right,' chimed in one of
my daughter's malo admirers, who
waa at her elbow, using au expression
which I believe be utters nearly every
time he t peaks.
".My daughter, I am pained to say,
was unmiritakably pleased. I spoke
to tho young fellow who is to bo best
mau at the wedding, and asked if he
knew whether his friend would live in
towa or in thc suburbs after he wus
41 'You can search mo,' he respond
ed quite seriously.
I "Thinking ho has not understood, J.
repeated my question, at which he
had the grace to blush and confess
that he did not know, which was tho
translation, I found, of his first
I "On tho way to Tuxedo last week,"
! said tho hostess, ontering the discus
bios, "there waB a gay and very talka
tive party just opposite us in the par
41 'Miss Smith is invited,' said one
41 'She's my rave,' exclaimed a
4* 'Yea,' supplemented another,
'When it comos to making love to thal
j girl Bob don't sit down. He hogobblet
(appropriates) her on all occasions.'
i 41 'Oh, como out of that tall graos,'
was the other's good natured rejoinder
which my husband said meant th?
same as 4Uh, come off,' or 'Stop youi
" 'Do you really admire Miss Smitt
so much?' curiously persisted tht
41 4Sure,' answered Bob.
4t**That'rt a blackeye for you, Kit
ty,' laughed tho other guian, who, ir
an aside, told Bob that Kitty wai
down ou Miss Smith, ^hon he wen
oa tantalizingly: 'You ought to soi
Bob rubber for Miss Smith at ail thi
" 'Ratal* oried Bob. 'Run dry
"L waa inclined to be disgusted
fori haven't lived in New York var:
long, but my husband, as we got oi
the brain, whispered in my ear:
41 'Miss Smith ia a very Bwagge
girl, and her father has a oicoh with i
big railroad corporation.'
"After that I concluded I could no
j afford to criticise other people."
"Up to a ocrtain point I don't mini
slang at nil-ic fact,-1 rather like it,'
frankly confessed a woman who i
worth millions in her own right, "bu
I am afraid ?wo are beginning to hoi
row from tho Bowery; and that I d
j "The other night, for instance, at
danoo I heard gthatjS-oharming Mie
Dash Bay to?a young man:
4< 'Come, let us'go to ?tb o bullet an
feed our faces.'
"I am told that phrase originated i
a downtown music hall."
It was ic tho time of wild raspberric
and the Blank family was sparking
few weeks in tho country, says th
'Woman's Homc^Oompanion. Harol
Blaok,*8ged t?, and his two little sie
I tera had been out in the woods an
Vitien they returncdtjUarold presente
his motlier with two very moist an
slightly crushed wild raspberries. SI
thanked him with the effusion tbi
mothers show on such occasions an
said, when|she?had swallowed the be
rios, "They were lovely. I wish
had nore of them."
"I did have another one for yoi
ra am m a, but I swallowed it on ace
j dent on tho way homo," Baid Haroh
"Why, Harold, dear, how could yo
I have swallowed'it on accident?" as kt
.'Well, it was like this, mamma,
Haroid explained, "I was afraid Lue
and ?lioo would try to get the berri?
away from mo if they knew I had the
so I carried thom home in my moutl
and that was howl swallowed one on a
ci lent." _
Since the engagement of pretty Mi
X has been an announced faot, h
small brother ha? been puzzling h
head to understand what it mean
& a} H tho Washington Post.
"Why," exclaimed the mothc
"Slr. Skaggs bas asked sister tomar
him. That means that she trill li
in bis house after^this, and he'll tal
cave of h or."
"-Bay ber things?" asked the bc
"Toa." . '
"Hats and dinners and iee cream
." Yes." waa the answer. '
"Weil, ain't that mas got nm
The Promised Land.
There is a black Monea who rons ao
emigration offico at 1,827 Jackson
street. His idea is to lead as many
of hi? people as ho can get to put up
$50 into thc promised land of Liberia,
BO that they may form a kingdom to
themselves. For eight years, he says,
he has labored with little suooess to
prevail upon negroes in IN ow Orleans
to take advantage of the ofter of the
Republic of Liberia; ?rbich is a negrc
government, to give settlors a plot of
land and furnish them with the means
of tilling it. A number of Georgia
negroes who took advantage of the of
fer have lately returned, saying that
they found a hard timo to make way
in tho foreign country because of the
antagonism of thc natives there, and
of the difficulty of getting food.
Wm. .M. Royal is the black Moses
of Nev Orleans. He has a little cot
tage in Jackson street. A crude Bign
in front outlines in glowing terms thc
advantages offered to immigrants and
and presents the attractions of a ship
building company, orgauized for tho
purpose of building a ship that will
run between Savannah and Liberia.
Royal is agent of tho Liberian Com
pany, which has its main offices in Bir
mingham, and of thc ship building
association. Thc latter assooiatiou is
entered by tho payment of an initia
tion fee of one dollar, and a dollar pay
ment as dues every three months.
Robert Charles was a member of the
Liberian Association. This is com
posed, or was composed until its mem
bers fell away, of about forty negroes,
who made small payments towards thc
keeping up of the movement.
Royal is a rather large negro, with
ministerial ohin whiekers. He is as
full of Bible texts as tho average negro
When asked about the Georgia ne
groes who returned home from Libe
ria, loudly voicing their complaints,
"Didn't Moses got the same kind of
treatment? When he sent the mes
sengers to report as to whether or not
the Israelites should march forward
most of them returned and advised
against it. We want to learn from
the white man. We have seen how
tho whits man finally went into tho
promised land, how he settled this
j country and made it great. He was
not afraid of fe vera and ci work when
ho wanted to build himself up, and
that is what we are trying to impress
. pon the negroes of this country who
wioh tc muliu homes for themselves.
The negro cannot riso above a oortain
grade iu this country, but he will
have a chance to make a country of
his own in Liberia. The trouble has
boen that he is cowed. He is afraid
of going out fer himself, like tho white
man did. Then, again, most negroes
who might want to go have not tho
money to pay their passage. In eight
years only a few negroes have left New
Orleans for Liberia. We are trying
now all over the South to get up a
shipload of about 300 to sail in Feb
ruary or March, but it is slow work.
"Then, again, the negro is not much
impressed by what another negro tells
him. He has been aoouBtomed to
look to the whiteman for,' advioe. If
white men would interest themselves
in the movement to prevail upon dis
satisfied negroes to strike out for
themselves in a country of their own
rao?, it would likely do good for all
oonoerned. We cannot do anything
for ourselves beyond a certain limit in
competition with the white man. I
am going to Liberia myself to settle,
and I shall try to secure as many fam
ilies as I oan to go with me and mino."
-New Orleans Times-Democrat.
Helping lils Father to Guess.
A small son of a well known insur
ance man was given a five-dollar bill
to buy Christmas presents for his pa
rents and littlo friends. Among the
articles purchased waB a very hand
some cup and sauser for his father.
The little boy had never been kuown
to keep a secret, and wheo he arrived
home his mother cautioned him, what
ever ho did, not to tell father about
the present whioh had been purchased
for him. All went well until the fath
er oamo home to dinner.
"Wull, Ned," was his greeting,
"did you buy all your presents?"
"Yes, father, and I bought one for
"Thank you," exclaimed tho fath
er, "and pray, what is it?"
"I mustn't tell. But, mother, if
father guesses it, I won't be telling,
His mother shook her hoad. After
ten minutes of very far-fetched guess
ing, the child felt that he could 'stand
it no longer, so, putting his elbows ou
the table, and looking at his father,
he said, in the most pleading tones:
"Father, why don't you guess a cup
and saucer?"--Philadelphia Poblio
Ledger._', ^ ^ ^ ?_
Bears the yyThs Kind Yon Haw Atways Bonght
- A oextain amount of opposition
is a great help to a man. It is what
he wants and must have to ba good
for anything. Hardships and oppo
sition are the native soil of manhood
?Hi self reliance,--Join Neat, y
i '?!.. . ; , y v ; ?' I ?A' ?
Waf?Orf System Will Tass A wa j.
Philadelphia, Dec. J3-"The wages
system will pans away, lo its stead,
I believe, thero will come a system
which will be composed of profit-sbar
iof. aod the co-operation ideas.
Tho great labor question meaus a
struggle of humanity for a higher
i?t.-jn(jr.ni of ??lt). The employer munt,
consider his employe, as woll as the
stockholder, as an investor."
These words were contained in an
addrej? upon "The Wage Question"
mt.do to'isy by Carrol D. Wright, Uni
ted States Commissioner of labor, be
fore the Society of Ethical Culture of
Continuing, Col. Wright said: "Ccp
itai charges to the consumer deprecia
tion of prosperity and machinery.
Why should not the depreciation of
labor machinery, its hands, its brains,
its body, bc included in the finuloost?
Wo see in every progressive commu
nity that the demand of tho working
man is no longer for a wage suitable to
enable him to keep body and soul to
"Labor has been taught to feel that
it is a sc?al as well as an economic
pc v. cr in the community, and this edu
cating process bas gone on until tho
demand of labor is i'or a reasonable
j margin beyond that fixed by the iron
law of wages.
The wages system will pass away.
It is, as bas been shown, unsatisfac
tory in many of its applications. It
depends too largely for its equities
upon the generosity and great-minded
nena of employers. That there are
many such who would scorn to influ
ence tho votes or aotions of their em
ployes and who would be inoapable of
taking petty or great advantage of
their workmen, is happily true. That
there are others, however, who make
uie of these opportunities proves the
weakness of the system and argues for
a greater mensure of independence for
thoso who labor.
"The system that will take the plaoe
of that under which mere wages are
paid probably will be composed of pro
fit sharing and co-operative plans. The
work people will then acquire the
interest of investors, the more cap
able will rise to their opportunities
and the lese worthy will find their
- Ooce there wa9 a woman who
did not believe every word in her
love letters; but she never got any.
- The experience a man buys is
seldom up to the saniplo submitted.
UlackHnake Assists lu Making an Ar
Pittbburg, Pa., Deo. 20.-A big
blacksnake in the fields above Etna
came to tbc assistance of a Constable
and aided in the capture of a negro
highwayman, who was making fast
tracks for safety.
Mirtis Burkhsrdt, ~hc drives s
milk wjgon for a dairyman who lives
above Etna, was driving home from
the city, when ho was held up in the
road by Robert Westfield, a burly j
negro. Westfield made a search of
the wagon and also of the boy's pock
ets and took all the mooey he had,
amounting to $19.
A number of boys who had seen
thc hold-up followed the negro with
olubs and stones, and they were join
ed in the chase by a Constable. Tho
negro left the road and took to tho
hills and fields, and was fast getting
away from his pursuers. He had led
them a merry chane, and the whole
party was about, exhausted. Sudden
ly to the surprise of his pursuers,
Westfield was seen to stop. ITe
glanced back over his shoulders at the
rapidly approaching party and would
then 'nok ahead of him, but he did
not stir. The posse put on an extra
spurt, and, approaching Westfield,
quickly had tho handcuffs on his
wrists. Immediately in front of1
Westfield and stretched acrosB tho
watti, mu? ILO uewi laioc d, was a large
blacksnake. Westfield had caught
sight )f thc snake, and was afraid to
pass it. .Evan the knowledge of his
oertain capture could not overcome
his fear of the big snake that was
reared across his path. The snake,
alarmed at the crowd that hud come
upon Westfield, glided off into the
bushes, and the Constable and his
boy assistants were so grateful for the
assistance that his snakeship had
given them they allowed it to orawl off
into the bushes undisturbed.-St.
Stops Cough and Works off the Cold.
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets
oure a cold iu one day. No Cure, No
Pay- Price 25 csnts.
- The Shah of Persia does not wish
the public to feast their eyes on the
beauty of his wives. When his num
erous spouses go out for a ride or a
stroll a troop of attendants preoede
them at a distance of a few hundred
feet, shouting, "Run and hide your
self!" Pedestrians and all others
chem scamper in?oorB.
IT CURED K2LPLE83 CW ?PP LE.
Mr. Wilke? write? In the coarte of a loog letter, 4 ate d August 18,1902:
'Mr Isti were rt rina tsc? ant? ?r feet toochc? ss? bips. I wu xs hs!?!??? st ? bttr
for nearly 12 montbi. Tho muscle? of air arm? and lega were hard and abrircled ap. I
antlered death nany time? orer. Wa? treated br tlx different physician* in McColI, Dillon
and ?I sf I'-.i, but none ol them contd dome any good, until Or. I. P. "...?Inc of Dillon, Izli
me to try your RHEUM ACIDE. 1 began to take it, and before the f-T*t bottle waa utcd up
E begiu to get better. I nted '| bottle: and was Completel? cared."
C.-. I. P. .""iag confirm, Mr. Wilkes' ??l?ment in every parttcalar.
rnCC TRIAL ?OTTLC SENT ON APPLICATION TO
BOBBITT CHEMICAL CO., PROPRIETORS. BALTIMORE, MD
Is None Too Good fbi
the Sick !
WE cany in ?tock'MEDICINES that have been teated, and stand right
behind anything we sell. If not perfectly, satisfactory you get your money
OUR FAMILY MEDICINE ASSORTMENT
Will interest you, ?uri save you considerable money in the run cf a yean
Talk to us when next you are in the city.
D. S. VANDIV BR;
J. J. MAJOR.
E. P. VAN DIVER.
VANDIVER BROS. & MAJOR,
- DEALERS IN -
Carriages, Buggies. Wagons and Harness.
WE have tried to give you as "iberal treatment
as it was possible for us to extend, and now we
aok you, one and all, to be PROMPT in your
SETTLEMENT with us. Flease bear this in
mind, and settle ' the yery earliest day poesible,
and greatly oblige.
If yon Need a BUGGY we have them Cheap?.
_ VANDIVER BROS. & MAJOR.
To the Farmers!
WE have just installed FOUR NEW GINS at
our plant here, making a, total of eight Gins.
We are now prepared to give you prompt and eihV
f dent sei vice. * . ' . .
Bring your Cotton to us and you will only have to
wait a few minutes for it to be ginned.
We claim that it will pay you to haul your Cotton
.a long distance in order to have it ginned by us.
Farmf3rs' Oil Mill,
ANDERSON, S? C. '
D. 8. VANDIVER. E. P. VANDXVBfkV
WE have a splendid Stock of
On hand at pr?cea that no Firm can beat and few equal?
Splendid Line of Shoes and Staple Dry Goods.
If you OWE ?B ANYTHING we believe we would appreciate
a PROMPT SETTLEMENT just a little more than anybody. Try us turf
see if we don't.
Yours for Trade and Collections,
WE would like for all the People in Anderson
County to come to us for their wants In the : :
DRU GK LI N E,!.
Our Stock ?8 lai ger av a more complete than jit has ever been.
Patent Medicines, Chemicals,
Stationery, Paints, Seeds,
Artist Materials, Perfumes,
. - ?
And in fact anything that is found in an TJp-to-Date Drug Store.
Orr-Grra^y & Go.
HQ BETTER P1?H0S
Made in tho world, and no l?wer
prices. Abaidutoly the Highest mm,
that can be found, ?nd the surpw ts .
''eau such high grade Pianos bo
had so reasonable ? Well, it's this
way : Piaiios ; are being sold ?t too
?-. great a p?ofit. X save you Srom 25 to
40 per cent in the cost. I am my own
i book-keeper,salesman and collector
-th? whole >fihow." Seat Ko
worked-over, second-hand reposaased
] stsefc, I donotseU Chatikind. If you
are alright your^^dit is good with me
The best Resd Organic th* wld is ?e MO?r^t??.,,
t^\E7!' TT A A D|8EASE
OVrflvV^r W .L? WE INHERIT.
Scrofula manifests itself in many ways. Swelling of the glands of tho
neck and throat, Catarrh, weak eyes, white swelling, offensive sores ?ind ab?
scesses, skin eruptions, lossof strength and weakness in muscles and joints.
It ia a miserable disease and traceable in almost every instance to some
family blood taint._ .
Scrofula is bred in the f^3SBF\ uSS10^* ?pW?f*od.*n **? of Sy
. ^" ? , little rrandchild when enly 18 months
Done, 18 transmitted |fww dd, and spread rapidly over hor bedy.
from narent o child mrsz*JB The diBeaae next attaoked the eye? and
tl? o ?wit 17?, Ji^AiJi tH^fT we ftaxed ahe would loss her alaht. Bm
the seeds are planted in 1? ?Ai inent physicians wer? consulted, hut
infancv and unless the JV. oould do nothing to relieve the little in
M?->?-.?I ?o *\n~r*aA n~>A .-.?. ^fiSterfluS noosnt. It waa thon.that we dooided to
blood 19 purged and pu- JMgW3E& try S. 8. S. That modloine Qt ones mado
rifled and every atom of 3&Bnflr*~ a speedy and aomplete o uro. Ohe ls now
thetaintremovedScrof- ?3252 w tfffifSSg? XASSSST" h>d a Bl?irn
ula is sure to develop at ,__ _ ". _". _. MBS. BUTH BBBKXTT,
some periodin your life. ?0 Booth 6th Street. Salina, Kan.
No remedy equals S. S. S. as a cure for Scrofula. It cleanses and builds
up the blood, makes it rich and pure, and under the toaic effects of thia
great Blood Remedy, the general health improves, the digestive organs are
in>i^ M? strengthened, and there is a gradual but sure return
g^^l f f tT5^ to health, ihe depositor tubercular matter in the
joints and glands is carried off as soon as the blood
K^3J I^^J fc^Jr *s restored to a normal condition, and the sores, erup*
^?^^ ^^m9*^ tions, and other symptoms of Scrofula disappear.
S. S. S. is guaranteed pureiy vegetable and harmless; an ideal blood
Tmri?pr and tome that removes all bleed taint and builds up weak constitu
tions. Our physicians will advise without charge, all who write us about
their case. Book mailed free.
THE S Wi FT SPECSfSG CO?, ATLANTA, GA*
Special attention is invited to a new shipment of
ACORN STOVES AND RANGES !
Which we have j mt rec? i ved, and which includes the very latest patterns,
both coat or woori, ariap>t<i tn the requirement* of this market. v.
If you require m.ythinu iu the Stove or Range ??ne we solicit an oppor
tunity to explain tb*? mei ns of XME ACORN
"We ?iso carry a complete a..d tip-to date line of TINWARE, WOOD
ENWARE and HOU->E FURNISHINGS.
?Cfc. Gutteriig. numbing ai d Electric. Wising executed on short notice,
? ours truly.
ARCHER & NORRIS.
i-" -_ i wa , i. si- j i -
This Establishment lia? been Selling
have come and gone,
Cheaper than any others,
satisfied customer. Mistakes will sometimes occur, and if at any time we
found that ?. customer waa dissatisfied we did not rest until we had maSaJ>|Sa
satisfied. > This policy, rigidly adhered to, hos made us friends, true and lift
ing, and we can say with pride, but .without boasting, that wo have tho conft
denoo of the people of this section. We have a largor Stock of Gocds this
season than we have over bad, and we pledgeyou ont word that we have never
sold F urn i turo at ns dose a margin of profit as we aro doing now. Thia ia
proven by the faot that we are selling Fornitura not only. aU over Anderson
County but in every Town in tho Piedmont section. Come and seo us. < Tour
parents saved money by buying from us, and you and your ohildr*u aaa save
icnoy by buying hero, too. wo carry EVERYTHING in the Ftirniture line,