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," . 1'ractlcal, JrAc. T
Thcailcieitu used to indulge hi jirarti-.
jokes to a coiibidciablo extent; fur m-1
stance, Iho ThrV-ltm at tlicir drinlnng
liann'm-;. They fixed around hoomi to;
tlitfW;gh of a tree, and placed "der
iicath it a stono of Mvh a shape that it
vould easily turn around when one stood
on it. Then thev d cv lots, and ho-.vho
drew the lot took a sickle in hit hand,
stood on the stone, and put hid neck in
to the halter. Then the stone was kick
ed away; if ho could cut himself down
with his sickle, well a.id good; but if he
was not quick enough, ho was hanged
outright; and the rest laughed, thinking
it good 6port.
Nero's jests were likewise vcr practi
cal. " What a fat fellow that Senator is !
he" observed one day to a courtier ; "see
me out him in two 1" and ho did it in
the most facetious manner.
A French Auditor of Accounts in the
seventeenth century was a great practi
cal joker all bib life, and cveu played a
trick after he had lost the power ol en
joying it, for ho left four candles to be
carried at his funeral, which had not
been burning fifteen minutes before they
went off as fire works.
When a lady condescends to a practi
cal joke it is generally a very neat one.
M. Uoiuort, the rich financier, was very
stingy to his wife in the matter of pin
money. One day a lady, closely veiled,
and verv anxious not to be recognized,
called upon him and borrowed a large
sum, leaving her diamonds in pledge. It
was his wife.
The French thieves used (.omctimes to
Bteal so funnily, that even their victims
were half itmlfncd to pardon them.
The Duke of Fronsac, nephew of 31ar-r-hal
Richelieu, was toming out of the
opera one night, in a .plondid drcf. em
broidered witupcaris. wnen tw uih.-.-
managed to cut on nii com ia.1. "
turned into his club, wl.ere everybody
Itmghcd at him, and no he found out
what had happened, and went home.
Karl v the next morning a well divs-ed
tiiaifcallcd at the DukcV hotel and de
manded to see him at oncv on a matter
of most vital importance. .Monsieur dc
IVonsac was awakened.
OloiiMeur," said the vi-itor, -'lam
an officer of the police. Monsieur, the
Lieutenant ol Police, has learned the ac
cident which happened to you yesterday,
on leaving the opera, and I have been
sent by him to request you to order the
coat to be placed in my hands, that we
mav convict the offender by comparing
it with the mutilated tails."
The dress was given np, and the Duke
was in raptures with the vigilance of the
police; but it was a new trick of the
rouc who had stolen the tails, by which
he possessed himself of the entire gar
ment. Chambers Journal.
A Scexe in Domestic Lira. A wag
gish western editor thus describes a scene
in domestic life.
An aunt of ours conclued to try the
efforts of a pleasant smile and a kind
word upon her 'husband when ho return
ed from work. She had read how a home
3 should bo pleasant, and the wife bhould
always meet tho husband with a pleas
ant smile. The success sho had is best
given in- the shape of a dialogue.
i pbrier husband, almost exhausted, and
tymry fcmigry withal ; throws his hat on
'Ike Imt, and drops heavily into a seat.
TWIft, preparing tea, looks up with a
'mik, and is so glad to see him
ffife Well, my dear, it is -so nico to
him you here at meal time. A long
Husband Yea, I suppose po. -
Wife How has your business pros
pered to-day7 Another smile
Hnsbaud About so so.
Wife Come, my dear, supper is
ready ; let me draw your chair. An
Husband gruffly I am too tired to
stir. Wait till I warm my feet.
Wife do as you choose my dear. An
Husband Look a'herc, old woman,
beforo 'any more fuss is made about it
I should liko to' know what you are grin
Aant Bttikd and, relinquished her
sweet BaftJlea from that date. Undo was
net on of the romantic sort, and didn't
understand such things.
Col. Hay's famous poem "Jim Blud
soe," wich every body has read, and
which has recently been severely criti
cised and ridiculed because tho engineer
is made to do the pilot's work in kecp-
ing wo uuniiii ou-.uiii.-i a iiv-.j ;,
the bank." while the crew and passen
gers scrambled ashore, is defended as
follows by a New York correspondent
of tho Syracuse Journal :
It is generally the pilot's business to
do tins by skillful manipulations oi me
wheel ; fiut in the case of the Prairie
Belle the tillar rones were burned away
and as tho paddle-wheels of Mississippi
boats work independently. "Jim IJIud-i
soo," who remained at his post, was
able, by skillful management, to supply
their p'lace, and keep the boats head to
the shore. This is a true story, and the report-
that "Uludsoe" knoekod out a
nlank from the starboard side and swam
down to Natchez, and that the story of
his heroic d-iath was a put up job to en
able him to get rid of his wife in Pike,
is one of those wicked and detestable
slanders which r-ome men delight in
disseminating for the purpose of deploy
ing faith of human nature.
Gonk Oct FoiiEVMu Like drooping,
dying stars, our dearly loved ones go a-
way from our sight. The stars of our
hopes, our ambitions, our prayers, whose
light ever shines before us, they sudden
ly palo in the tirm-neut of our hearts,
and their place is left empty, cold and
dark. A mother's steady, soft and earn
est light, that beamed through all our
wants and sorrows ; a father's strong,
quick light, that kept our foot from
stumbling in the dark and treacherous
ways; a sister's light, so mild, so pure,
so constant and so firm, shining upon us
from gentle, loving eyes, and persuad
ing us to grace and goodness, a brother's
light, forever sleeping in our soul, and
illuminating onr goings and comings ; a
friend's light, true and trusty gone out
forever 7 No ! the light has not gone out.
It is shining beyond the stars, where
there-is no night and no darkness, for
evor and forever Theodore ParJxr.
Secretary Belknap, thinking the recent
troubles at west romtlhe fault ot the
instructors, has removed T. S. Pitcher,
the Superintendent, appointed F. H.
ltugcr, tho strictest, disciplinarian in the
jinny, to wcwni mm,
A NW York-letter says: "New York
Middcnt'y awakened to the fact thatBret
llario's wife is one of'the eight daughters
of the late Judge Griswold, all of vrhom
have been women of mark, or the wives
of men of no small renown. Caroline
married Edmund Audrade, nephew of
Pereirc, the great banker of ran, who
originated the famous credit mobillier.
Audradc is enormously rich, and also a
lion in musical circles- Mary, now de
ceased, married Urantz Slayer of Balti
more, well known as the author of Capt.
Canot. Helen's husband, Mr. Herring
ton, was tho personal friend of Starr
King, who first en couraged Bret llarte
in the literary profession. Then one
married a distinguished physician, and
another a noted music composer. The
youngest is well known as the authoress,
Mrs. Francis Gerry Fair field, and Anna
mauricd Francis Bret Harte."
George Sanderson has "lit out. ire
gave two thousand dollar bonds for his
appearance at Topcka on Tuesday, to
atnml n nrAiimirwrv examination. IIo
failed to come to time. 3Ic3Ieckin, of
the Topeka House, was his surety- Mac
passed up the road Wednesday, for the
purpose of looking up some stock belong
ing to the runawab. Junction City Un
Applcton, the great capitalist of Bos
ton Mass, has donated 20,000 to the city
of Annlcton, Wisconsin, named after
him, for the benefit of the Schools of
Ezra Cornell, of Albany New York is
on his way to Kansas to select a location
for breeding short-horned cattle.
JSrg ootis, rocrrirs, &c.
Cor. Santa Fe andiron Avenues,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
BOOTS AND SHOES,
Hats and Caps,
aJbC9., JktO. 4Oa
All Kinds of
Produce Taken in Exchange
AVlioletsale and. Retail
BOOTS, SHOES, HATS, CAPS
Groceries and Provision's!
Boots anU SJjocs. '
important 1 1
TO THE PEOPLE !
How Money Can be' Saved!
BOOT AND SHOE STORE,
ASDTHISl'ICCBlBXR WILL, BT SELLING T01T
BOOTS ANDSHOES CHEAPER
(SO MCCU CHEAPER!)
Titan You Have Been Buying Them
EV THE CITY,
THAT TOU WILL AT OXCB
COME TO T1IE CONGLUSION
Is the Place to Purchase Goods
IN THAT LINE.
MAtE TO OLDEB IX THE
Latest and Most Approved Styles
And iraararjtrcil to give oatloracilba la lit. neatnen anil
DONE KEATLT AND AT REAS0XABLK BATE'.
XX.oaa.om'bor- tho Place 2
Sign of the " Big Boot,"
No. 99 Santa Fe Avenue,
19 ACTA XZ2 A."rJEiaffTXJ3,
The nndtrflffiicd IotHa their Men Jg and the public la
general to call il tf ihm tt tbelr table. located on
the wet side of Santa ATeooe, near Prvbert drof
lore, prumitlnf then
The Best Turn-Outs
IN THE CITY.
Boarded by the Day or Month,
Good Care and Careful Grooming.
ForaUbrd ConTcj-aacra 7 'art of
A. G. Cousr,
LIYEPvY, FEED AND SALE
The M)Jritfal It aw prrpirtd to npplr Hie tnt
tmrd 4om4 tot Utr ttotm !a ttilu. llatiiv
Uryril my milt mnl porebwed
-A. VEW OUTFIT,
Saddle Horses and Vehicles
Of all McrlrUau u atit nwaatbte rait.
I Will Please Patrons.
REMEMBER TJIE SIGN.
No. 91 Santa Fe Attune,
HUEBNEE & BATTESBY,
Lager Beer and Lunch Salooa.
Wf ihnn tin a band tbr bt Caacta Laser Bcr
axxVaavl tee botbntxltcf Caput. Laaca caa kt tad
at aa aaan oi bk aaj.
' . A
EVERY DESCRIPTION OF
House Building Goods,
. MECHANICS TOOLS
And Agricultural Implements,
AMONG WHICH ARE
THE CAYUGA CHIEF
REAPER 6l MOWER,
SKLBY CORN PLANTER,
Macomb and Galesburg Cultivators,
GRAND DE TOUR PLOWS,
And PEORIA PLOW!.
THE BEST KINDS OF
Stoves, Tinware and Sheet Iron
WOEK OK IU1 AXD MADK TO ORDER.
THAT GOES TO MAKE UP A
Complete Hardware Store,
TIN WARE! TIN WARE!!
Specialities pf Trade,
PercliMrri louk to Jour IcItrMtand ciamlot lb fullo
ng lll of STOVES:
KXTSXsros, ur.tnTEa ojk.
1XLAX1 XMMIK. ECHO,
UKDAS. JKSIDK l-BACK .
SKXAT0&. JfAGiV COOK,
c, ir., ., , .
All the dlffncnt Tirl.Utl of Brit dai
art repreamlfd la lh U LUt, Tb7 ' n airal4
ai.'l hM o Uw thai aabwlj al a wltaj jt oa.
W uaaafacliue all klnit of
Tin, Sheet Iron and Copper Ware
aad keep a eomunl tnpfl oa haad for tale a
Wolesale or Betail.
Wt par ipKlal atttntloa to all kial tt
aal altta! proojpllj blirimu.
LILBIKO .1MB HerTBCSISHI!C
Thuitfal Kt pantarora wttalcat to Mcm a Csa.
tloaancc f Um tune.
I SALTA r A YKSCK,
I DESIRE TO STATE FOR INFORMA
TION OF ALL CONCERN
ED THAT I
HAVE IN STORE,
AND FOR SALE,
300 SACKS FALL WHEAT FLOUR,
500 " Sl'RING " "
100 " CORN MPIAIi,
2,000 BUSHELS CORN.
1,000 " OATS.
500 " BARLEY.
300 !' RYE.
300 " POTATOES.
ALSO A FULL AXD COKFIXTI ATtOaTXITt Of
GARDEN AND FIELD SEEDS,
wiiuiw msB ano fincxx.
Grocer and Pronsion Dealer,
Xos.d6 and 100 Sent Fe Aren
l ?.Tt.in. .
fDartitoat !r, fcbrs, Sir.
Sr'iBpoos, (Brocmrs, &c.
Hurrah for the New Railroad !
BECAUSE SAID RAILROAD
Is Bringing Such a Large Share
OF THE TRADE TO
J. M. & B. L. WILSON.
NOT ONLY WHOLESALE
But the Cars stop even in the Oity
Axo Takk Mast Whose Wants
Vary from a
YARD of RIBBON TO A DRESS
PATTERN, FROM A PAIR OF
Slippers to a Nice pair of Gaiters,
Fair of Boots to a bran New Suit.
ASD ITEM f OMB WHOSK WANTS AU THE oTASDAID
An4 aa Ibt afftcl U ta7 arc all aaBc J aaJ
Are Determined to Gome Again,
7.11 tbelr friend. aaJ Uwlr frlrtoVfrleoJi to coar aa
J. M. & B. L Wilson's Store,
Is Crowded Most of the Time,
ASD THAT UAVB
WHICH DAILT INCKCASISO.
TllEItEFUltB BE IT UEMEMBEKED
J. M. & B. L. WILSON,
Wholesale and Betail Dealers in
GROCERIES, DRY GOODS,
BOOTS AND SHOES,
HATS, CAFS, AND N0TI NS,
Next Door to the IJa.nki.no House,
ll.to tho fallnt aad moot canplrW Motkt 9t ftxxl. nrr
bruo(U la Hcttera aauau aa4 uiai
THEIB P BICES ABE LO WEB
I coat ibjr caa ohon Ike prior of thuoo Ifcal 4o.
AH of jem oeJ ooj iWof la IB Baa af CMfclag
That lliey caa aril oaa betlof foA for lea aioaiy than
joo caa lii, at aat othee lae la Uo Wf at, aa4 Ibat Uxj
caa aril Ja aaj UU( frva
Neck Tie to a Bran New Suit
Of tKo- n.j tntar ttinpr thaa tao caeaacat. aa4 all af
we waaitar a aany annming at rat.
Tot fW racM rate at aaAak taer aaar rt rtt-o e
tarlrc-wore.le a eaa- aa4 bow tbey aaa a4 to aril
at mb rrry Urn rlg.ru I a mjnj.
Those that Want Boots and Shoes,
aa tfcat aVy amtre aa la aaaar a arlao oe ajaiaiy.
Last but not Least, Ladies, Please
raat aB of oaf aa aaa a aayinii at Waaatla, taat
joar oeory a-aalaWtl rverlT tbotr laraiH atliarloa aaa
ooa UI aajr oo roej cfceao tkat la fauao yaa aria alaat.
ca:i the Irou
Aa4 all aortic aValrtai U aaj at aaaliajh, najiaaar
Ua4 taaar atoca, la cioialrte. taao caafkarra
ay oa a
Cheap Cash Price
Waka at aarr .
WILL NOT JE UNDEEWLD,
(it. 2. Gxtssin's Column.
C. W. TBESSIN'S
H abdware Store
U the Oldeat, !" d Berf Aaaorted h Wrttcn
Kaaaaa. wad will I ae irpatatka far
SnpcriorGoods and Low Prices.
OF KVERV DESCKIPTIOX AKK PAU.T ABRIV
Will And ll to their intrrrat to aiaaaia Bty gaada aad
prim heroic baejaa; elaewber.
TRUCK AND BREAKING PLOWS,
Of the following- liraada
tJAKDKS L1TY ItOW.
I il not inTtrucl to tnptJr farmer with the chrap
KiHthrru 4ow that an- to the market tbl araaon, am
w ill m-11 none trot ratablubnl aad rrliahlr lowa.
fartirnLir attention U called to the
for which I am the Bole atcrat la the countr. They are
rrmilt-of otrrlc. hanleneil br a new. irrul iar i-roceoo.
ami will artuallr rut rU. I warraat eterr one ot
Ibrni In rur in any aTtaina, ana I win tue ueea oaj
plow that u-ira not Kit c aaueucuoB.
Mowers and Reapers,
OX YOKES AKD ROWS,
AMES' AND OTHER SPAIKS,
Shovels and Forkt,
HOES AND RAKES,
Locks and Latches,
BUTTS AXD SCREWS,
All ararraaard aad atieatwr than at aaj
Lime aad Cental.
PLOWS! PLOWS! PLOWS!
i- Wen!,lT ' raerfrlaaj Ik LAtO EST c.l
Plows and Farm Machinery
Phtraea,iii.' "" " w-.Baaae aad mc
Celebrated JOHN DEERE.
Silver Steele and Canton Clipper
BjjrjjjWw-MI. WAtATl. W. ,, . Utf,
Garden Implement! and Seed?,
Garden Drill and Cultivators,
or TAHor kwiw.
Walking and Sulky Cultivators,
TBS VAJtMTCB AB etUBCATID IIT STONK
A to MISSOURI H,ND PlaNTERS,
DOTY"S WASHING MACHINES,
. Faantas Mills,
rosMS, ewAiys. axks, srjexs. skotmis.
scnuMs, rvtAJ. makss. mtc.
Alan Ik LIAD15Q
Reaping and Mowing Machins.
A lara ataak ml m JC8TLT CIUMATIO
Fish Brow's and Bala's
Alvtyeaa m4 M WUaMB pvlcatv Ivfrye tmntl
Af ! far
All of M a m atll a WMOUtAUE OS BATAIL at
tot, law aaarea.
Taaaklng taeaaall fa aaot aatraaa. weeor4l.ll, In
It alt la om af aay Ua4 f rarai lair4oaeiii. oriMa.
ealaoej, Wirw aeaa, twin- la mmt Uao U toll f-ro
aaffeaaola olooaaofv aa4 a aOI oavlao Uw ihat c
moaa aaaaiia. Aa4 a II naitaim u.al wo
WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD
la W.oue a Raa-a la aay atal alaat artlol la oar Ha.
X. B. FI8H A CO.
Oor. Otla amd Jkjmwx aBtreota
A Liberal Discount to tliuTrade.
A. I Xoina.
Bishop 6l Norton,
GENERAL REAL ESTATE
Hit Ua mlf aarmt m THUm la Meat
tTatata la laHa Caaattr. urlr , Mo J
naBtljr altoadW in.
HAVE FOK SALE
ft 0 0,000 ACIIEH
OF IMrtOTtD aXA CVIMrMTID LARD.
Agents for the National Land Co.
liAKba OT TUB
Kansas Pacific Railway Comp'y
abo or Ttu
Mo., Ft 8. AGnlf R. W. Comp'y.
A WO AvrSTa rOB TBB OIX0U
-ETWA,Or IlABTfirBli, CoBI.
AM.CjTBAL,r St. Itcu, Mo.
JlABTHrBU, or HABmBt, 0JJt.
Kamkaav or Lcavbhwdbth, K A"
PrJOMIX, Or HABTrOB,CojlJf
PLT5AM, or IUtTTKBB, CONW.
Sawoamo, or Sri5oritxi, Ium. '
Loaes liberally Adjusted and
SALE AND FEED STABLE,
M. T mhWtk oTaf ',
AM aaraaaa aaa wtoa to W. ! taoca 3 ttn-i f-e
at naol.Hi ra ar W0H.4 to lt. munk.li
aawaraora aaaaw (karoo aaw araW) tW I oUI
Sell Cheap for Gash or Trade
;? itaatj. CWm. ATf aa4 HIT !
X F. Donutfun,
CONTRACTOR and BUILDER,
Btai,aia 4aBa3aJaf & (uo.a -aaaara,
a a aMaoaaaaa mmrtwt a4 . rai.
vaBjaaaaataa aar bom ih airer r w oarun
aailm laSaVaWr aa aM.
moeM Mnm a Arwcrjirr.
Doaagaa it. Dyer,
FLOUli FEED AKD GRAIN
OF AT4j KINDS.
Aaaa1iattlyaaJ.ajitaitaaiaaar aa aaa
oo4 a, aaa aa be 4 oaaaaa m b ! raw.
axe JMW Murrm -e tuxtcjr urxxr
itri mixta tx rr.